Penguini128

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be locked inside a small inanimate-object locker. SCP-XXXX is never to be removed from its containment locker, as it has been decided that there are no circumstances that SCP-XXXX would be useful.¹

Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be contained within standard humanoid containment cells and are to be given anything they wish within reason to provide a comfortable living experience. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are allowed to live together within the same containment cell if they so wish. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are allowed to leave their containment cell at any time but must be accompanied by a guard in order to ensure SCP-XXXX-1 does not attempt to kiss anyone.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a tube of ChapStick brand lip balm. Upon applying SCP-XXXX to a subject's lips, the subject becomes an instance of SCP-XXXX-1. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 show no changes in behavior or physical appearance, however, the lips of SCP-XXXX-1 become exceptionally smooth. Whenever SCP-XXXX-1 lip's make contact with the lips of any other person, whether the contact is intimate or not, the kissed person will say something similar to "Wow, your lips are really smooth" within 5 seconds after contact has ended. However, when two instances of SCP-XXXX-1 kiss, signs of discomfort are immediately evident, though this may not be due to SCP-XXXX.²

SCP-XXXX can only be applied to the lips of a human, and has not been shown to rub off onto any other surface. Under no circumstances does SCP-XXXX change in physical or chemical state, volume, or mass, even after being applied to the lips of a human, rendering it practically indestructible.

Footnotes

1. Quote from Dr. Cooke, 23/10/19: "I don't see why any more experimentation needs to be done. This thing is clearly useless, if our motto wasn't 'Secure, Contain, Protect' I would have chucked this thing in the trash already."

2. Note from Dr. Addams: This experiment involves forcing two people who may not be attracted to each other to kiss for 'research purposes', so it is highly possible the discomfort shown is completely unrelated to SCP-XXXX.