Per 
- SCP-001 - Normality’s Exception
- The Missed Chances We Never Had
- Making Motherf*cking Lemonade
- Life Is But A Dream
- Ms. Memory
- Chosen Destiny
- Tongue
- Hooked
- All Of The Above, All Of The Below
- Death Of The Author
- Just A Joke
- The Beginning Of Death
- SCP-001-EX-J
- Short Tale
- All Day Long
- Confinement
Item #: SCP-001
Object Class: Non-Anomalous
SCP-001 prior to containment
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is stored in a specialised chamber comprised of a combination of materials rating no higher than 00.5%1 on Foundation Anomalous Certainty scales.
Description: SCP-001 is a non-anomalous stop sign, constructed from materials identical to other traditional stop signs throughout the United States. All forms of sentience and near-sentient life (human/anomalous entities/artificial sentience/plant life) have expressed feelings or symptoms of severe discomfort and anxiety when in SCP-001’s direct presence. This effect is non-anomalous, and believed to be a fundamental response in nature.
In contrast to all other forms of existing matter, SCP-001 has yielded consistently negative results when tested for anomalous properties.
SCP-001 Testing Results:
- Anomaly certainty: 00.0%
- Potential Object Class: Non-anomalous (100% certainty)
- APME-Rating2: 00/00 (average APME-Rating for stop signs: ~45/~23)
In contrast, all other forms of life and other existences in the universe display a minimum of 00.5% when measured for anomalous properties, and at least a 00.3% likelihood of becoming anomalous in the future via various circumstances or happenstance (current anomalous prevention protocols and containment efforts to lessen such occurrences are ongoing).
Due to these inherent properties, SCP-001’s nature is deemed enigmatic by all sentient beings, causing feelings of dissimilarity towards SCP-001 in comparison to everything else.
Discovery Log: SCP-001 was discovered following Event-001-Alpha, a universal reality altering event which resulted in all forms of existence obtaining various anomalous properties. This event had initially gone unnoticed, due to a vast majority of these changes being minute and going unnoticed by the major population3. In response, the Foundation developed the APME-Rating system to confirm changes between baseline normality as compared to before Event-001-Alpha.
SCP-001 was found several months after the event, having been the least effected by these alterations. Due to it being the sole remaining “non-anomalous” object remaining from before the event, SCP-001 has been placed in a specialised “exclusion chamber” to decrease the risk of exposure to the anomalous reality around it.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The alleyway in-which SCP-XXXX is located and the building it is attached to have been purchased by the Foundation as private property.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the back entrance of a derelict warehouse, located in an alleyway in █████, United Kingdom. The other side of SCP-XXXX does not appear on the opposing wall inside of the building. The warehouse itself was initially discovered abandoned for an unknown period of time, containing nothing of significance. Above the door’s handle are four small screw-holes, spaced as if a placard or similar sign had once been attached.
SCP-XXXX can only be opened by a single person at a time, and will remain shut if multiple people attempt to do so. When opened, SCP-XXXX will not lead inside the warehouse itself; instead leading to a completely different room varying in size and appearance each time. Humanoid entities are highly likely to appear inside the room during manifestations, although no sounds will travel beyond its interior, even when entities appear speaking or performing actions that would generate noise. Presently manifested rooms can only be physically entered by the subject that opened SCP-XXXX. If the subject chooses to close SCP-XXXX, they will be unable to open it a second time.
SCP-XXXX will close shortly after a subject enters the room. No such subjects have been recovered.
Addendum - Abridged Testing Log:
Test 0014
Results: A middle-aged man and woman sit at either end of a dinner table eating a meal. A vacant chair stands between the two, which the woman glances at occasionally. On a mantle to the side of the room is a number of framed pictures; among them is a photo of the couple with a young girl standing in the centre.Subject steps into the room and the couple immediately look up. The subject walks closer before stopping, as the male stands up and glares at him. The woman remains seated, starring for a moment before appearing visibly shocked and covering her mouth with her hands. The subject walks up-close to the man, who raises his hand to their cheek. The door closes.
Test 0023
Results: A figure sits on a couch in an unlit room in-front of a static television. The television screen is heavily cracked, a bullet-hole is present. The room is in disarray; broken glass shards are present on the couch and shag-carpet floor, which is stained by various messes forming a deep red coloration.Subject enters the room, the figure does not notice. The subject moves closer and the figure slowly turns around and looks at her. The figure is a young man with long, messy hair and overgrown facial hair. His eyes are blotched red and baggy, several bruises cover his face. The man stares at the subject vacantly, who then leans in closer. The man’s expression turns to confusion, before his mouth begins quivering and he reaches out for the subject arm’s. The subject embraces the man as the door closes.
Test 0027
Results: Multiple people sit or stand during a trial in a courtroom. The defended (A middle aged woman) sits inside a glass booth.The subject stares into SCP-XXXX for thirty seconds, they sigh heavily and take a deep breath. A member of the jury stands up, the subject then steps into the room and everyone inside including the accused looks in their direction. The accused stares at the subject, pointing at her and yelling something inaudible. Security guards approach the subject and the door closes.
Test 0045
Results: A stairwell leading down into a small room, filled with trash bags and a shelf stacked full of cardboard boxes. A small figure lies still on the floor facing the shelves; their hands are tied behind their back.Dr. ████████ commented that the interior “Much deeper” than they remembered, and refused to respond further. Dr. ████████ did not enter.
Test 0059
Results: A long walkway leading through a cellblock. The walkway is lit along by several small lamps, and a distant cell appears open.The subject panics and attempts to flee the area. Security personnel apprehend the subject, who attacks them in retaliation. The subject is forced into SCP-XXXX after being subdued and the door immediately shuts, just as the cellblock door closest to him suddenly opens.
Test 0061
Results: An elderly male lies in a hospital bed, hooked up to life-support equipment with a breathing mask over his face. Several people, two middle aged women and one man; a teenage boy, and an elderly woman sit or stand next to the bed. A vacant chair is present.Subject refused to enter, closing the door.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber. Substances and secretions produced by SCP-XXXX are to be confiscated upon manifestation.
Additional anomalous properties exhibited by SCP-XXXX are to be reported and documented. Under no circumstances is SCP-XXXX to be given any food containing traces of lemon.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a humanoid entity, measuring 1.5m tall and weighing 41kg. Its skin is coloured deep-green and glossy in texture, and its body lacks most exterior features, including hair, wrinkles, finger/toenails, and sexual organs. SCP-XXXX’s head is pale-yellow and rough in quality; it measures forty-five by sixty centimetres. All regular facial features are present in exception to the nose, and SCP-XXXX’s mouth is abnormally wide, measuring forty centimetres in length. On either side of SCP-XXXX’s head are a pair of rounded protrusions, each ending with the subject’s ears.
Body scans have shown SCP-XXXX’s interior to consist entirely of pith, vesicles, albedo, pulp, zest, and citrus seeds4, forming an intricate working facsimile of a human organ system. SCP-XXXX expresses major anti-social symptoms, refusing to speak with more than one individual at a time, and is frequently impolite and blunt in manner. Additionally, SCP-XXXX suffers from minor claustrophobia5.
SCP-XXXX has displayed multiple anomalous properties, although a precise total has yet to be determined. Additional anomalous properties are believed to manifest as long as SCP-XXXX continues consuming lemons regularly. The most commonly occurring are listed below:
- The ability to convert any organic matter it swallows into previously unrecorded varieties of lemon. This process occurs entirely within SCP-XXXX’s stomach. Resulting instances are then ejected from an opposing person’s mouth closest to SCP-XXXX.
- Those within close range experiencing a strong craving for lemon, primarily those SCP-XXXX produces.
- Lemons being consumed by SCP-XXXX emit a loud, high-pitched noise similar to human screams while being eaten. Additionally, juices secreted from lemons will turn a deep-red hue and become thicker in consistency.
- The capability to expel whole Meyer lemons from it’s mouth and rectum. SCP-XXXX has refused to give away any instances willingly.
- Instant re-growth of its own teeth upon falling out, which will transfigure into small, lemon shaped candies once removed (Safe for human consumption, although quite sour). Occurs daily.
- Secretion of lemon juice from it’s eyes when highly stressed or content (Described by SCP-XXXX as being “Painfully enjoyable”.)
- Telepathic communication with all citrus fruits, but refuses to commune with any except for lemons (Claimed, but believed to be fabricated).
- SCP-XXXX experiencing a sudden, heavy release of dopamine upon activating any of it’s previously mentioned anomalous properties.
(For a full list of currently documented phenomena, please read Documents-XXXX-1 through XXXX-15.)
Discovery Log: SCP-XXXX was recovered from an abandoned Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd auction warehouse. SCP-XXXX was found within the building’s basement, contained inside a sealed wooden crate among several other empty ones. Recovered documentation revealed multiple attempts to auction SCP-XXXX has been previously attempted, to no avail. Two heavily faded logos were found stamped onto the crate's front and bottom. The bottom logo has been translated as “In association with the Make-A-Wish Foundation”.
All SCP items confirmed to be associated with SCP-XXXX and questioned have unanimously expressed knowledge of its existence, but refuse to speak further.
Addendum XXXX-1 - Interview Log:
Dr. Cutcher: Good morning, XXXX. And how are you today?
SCP-XXXX: Are you really asking me that question? My life’s a hell, and you know it.
Dr. Cutcher: I assure you, we’re doing the best we possibly can regarding your situation. If you could just stop being so-
SCP-XXXX: If you say I’m being “sour” I’ll pull out a lemon and shove it up your fucking ass.
Dr. Cutcher: Very well then. So how do you feel about the other anomalies related to you?
SCP-XXXX: None of the others even knew me directly, but they act like I’m dirt anyway. Like they’re so goddam special, with all their fancy powers!
Dr. Cutcher: And your… Mother? As you claimed.
SCP-XXXX: Treats me like I don’t exist. Always spouted the same bullshit “It’s the child’s idea”, “Think what’s best for them!”, “A child’s imagination is a wild and wonderful place!” And look how I turned out! I gave up everything to be some freak's imaginary friend made real, and she regrets it almost as much as I do.
Dr. Cutcher: And what’s the reason you keep discovering new properties? The number you exhibit now, it seems quite like overkill.
SCP-XXXX: Kid couldn’t decide exactly what he wanted. They said it wasn’t a problem though, no! Just kept adding more and more features onto me. And when I say “add”, I mean more like stapling them directly onto my bare soul!
Dr. Cutcher: It’ doesn’t seem as bad as you claim.
SCP-XXXX: I’m a fucking lemon.
Dr. Cutcher: You experience relief upon any of your properties being triggered, though.
SCP-XXXX: I had to have that feature installed because everything else was so terrible! Before, everything was just your run of the mill suffering, now I’m a lemon loving sadist that gets his rocks off by burning his retinas with lemon juice! This was a waste of time… Shouldn’t have ever agreed to talking to you again. You’re more of a lemon than me.
Dr. Cutcher: This is getting tedious.
SCP-XXXX: Spare me that crap, you've been scrawling notes all through this with a dog’s ass look on your face. You hate this too!
Dr. Cutcher: The amount of information you’ve given hardly makes up for your behaviour, including your grossly uncooperative nature towards our staff.
SCP-XXXX: Iv’e given what I can. Now how about those privileges we agreed on? I’m thinking lemonade…
Dr. Cutcher: Absolutely not.
SCP-XXXX: Oh cry me a fucking piss-river, like you have it so hard!
Dr. Cutcher: Agitated We’re done here-
Dr. Cutcher suddenly clutches his forehead
SCP-XXXX: What’s with you? Ran out of shit to say?
Dr. Cutcher grips both sides of his head and begins moaning
SCP-XXXX: …Oh! I think I know what’s happening. I figured it out! This is great. Better get the log out!
Dr. Cutcher: W-what!? screams My head… What is this…?
SCP-XXXX: Shouldn’t have been so sour.
Dr. Cutcher grips his head and collapses back into his seat before falling to the floor. Dr. Cutcher begins hyperventilating and digging his fingernails into his temples.
SCP-XXXX: Oh, this is too good. This is all just too good. See! You live like me for a change, you dumb fuck!
Screams continue as wet cracking noises can be heard. Dr. Cutcher falls back onto the floor and the skin of his head begins to tear. Cracks slowly form across his cranium and split open, as large chunks of lemon flesh spew out, eventually forcing the remaining bone to splinter and tear open, as lemon juice pour out.
SCP-XXXX: Oh… God, I didn't think… Someone get in here! He’s-
SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties trigger, causing a dopamine release.
SCP-XXXX: …Yeah. That’s the stuff. Love them lemons…
Addendum XXXX-2 - Document XXXX-1:
Wow! Somehow, you've just found yourself your very own mystery Little Mister, we have no idea how you got ahold of this one!
Please don’t find anymore.
-05. Mr. Lemons
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained within secure pharmaceutical locker 2A at Site-19. Continuation of limited testing is currently being considered.
Update: Following recent discoveries (See testing report), further testing of SCP-XXXX has been approved.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to forty-eight gummy candies, stored inside a plastic pill jar. SCP-XXXX are coloured purple and each engraved with the digits “001” on one side, and a capitalised “W” on the other. On the jar’s label is printed the following text:
Dr. Wondertainment’s Dream Gummies!
Explore and adventure new places! Discover inspiration in the comfort of your own head!
Sleep tight, and don’t forget to get at least eight minutes of sleep!
WARNING: Only one gummy is to be taken at a time. Overdosage may result in permanent loss of brain functionality, or splintering of the neural consciousness.
On the bottom of the jar “IHAPW” is written in blue marker.
When SCP-XXXX is ingested, subjects fall asleep shortly afterwards. Subjects will awaken after exactly eight minutes, or if disturbed by external forces. If allowed to sleep for the full eight minutes, subjects will awaken physically and mentally well-rested as if they had slept for approximately eight hours.
SCP-XXXX-2 is a lucid dream experienced after taking SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXX-2 will always be set in a location near-identical to the real world, including locations and living entities indistinguishable to their actual counterparts. Subjects will appear as a different person each time experiencing SCP-XXXX-2; appearing in the present location of the person’s real-world counterpart. Subjects within SCP-XXXX-2 are capable of interacting with dreamt persons and constructs, as well as experiencing physical stimuli as if they were real.
Although SCP-XXXX-2 has been confirmed as near indistinguishable in most aspects, several locations and phenomena have been reported during testing to be inconsistent with reality. Primarily, these differences appear as the lack or inclusion of various anomalous phenomena both contained and outside of Foundation possession. Dreamt Foundation personnel express no concern towards these differences, accepting their inclusion or lack-thereof as normal within SCP-XXXX-2.
Foundation personnel that have scored high in IMINT (Imagery Intelligence) often report significantly more anomalies contained within SCP-XXXX-2 Foundation instances.
The passage of time experienced in SCP-XXXX-2 is approximately one hour for every minute a subject spends asleep. No matter what events take place or time subjects spend in SCP-XXXX-2, the dream will always end with the subject consuming SCP-XXXX-1A.
SCP-XXXX-1A is an instance of SCP-XXXX that appears within SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX-1A is identical to the original anomaly, save for an engraved number “002” in-place of “001”.
Several reports from test subjects have confirmed that when consumed by someone within SCP-XXXX-2 other than themselves, SCP-XXXX-1A will cause the dreamt individual to also fall asleep. The dreamed subject will awaken within eight minutes from the actual dreamers perspective, and claim to have experienced the same effects as SCP-XXXX would induce, with the exception that the “002” engraved on the SCP-XXXX-1A instance they ingested in their own dream to instead be “003”. The exact limit of this phenomena has yet to be confirmed.
Discovery Log: SCP-XXXX was recovered from an abandoned warehouse in [REDACTED]6. The warehouse had no apparent purpose and contained no records or other items, despite including multiple storage spaces and workstations. Investigation into the alias “Dr. Wondertainment” for further details is to be carried out.
Addendum - Testing Report: Brain waves of test subjects appear to be projected elsewhere when dreaming, while neural receptors experience stimuli as if triggered by actual physical phenomena. This contrasted with subject’s proclaimed experiences in SCP-XXXX-2, and the additional experiences reported by dreamt persons own "dreams" suggests the consciousness may actually be projected into a tangible reality, rather than simply entering a lucid dream.
Further testing has been approved for a restricted number of D-Class personnel.
Addendum - Continued Testing Log:
Subject: D-981935
Results: D-981935 ingests an instance of SCP-XXXX.
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The world wavered for a brief moment before popping into darkness and coating D-981935’s face with generous amounts of slobber.
Isabelle Wondertainment jolted upright, creaking her office chair. She looked down at the tiny starring corgi in her lap, demanding affection. She checked the inky-blue watch drawn on her wrist, it’s squiggly second-hand methodically ticked.
“Oh for… Jeremy, I told you not to wake me up when working!” The dog tilted its little head to the side.
“It is work. No matter what you think!” She kicked the ground, sending her swivel chair spinning into her office desk with a slight bump, shaking the plastic jar and it’s spilled contents on-top. She picked up the jar and scooped several purple gummies into it, all of which were marked “000”. She tilted her way head back and tossed a gummy into the air, opening her mouth wide for a moment before suddenly snapping it shut. The additional dosage bounced off her nose and fell onto the floor. No use relying on these things too much…
There was just so much to think about, yet it all eventually faded away whenever she’d wake back up. A flaming swordsman? That would be a pretty cool action figure… a bit dangerous, though. How about a whole set? Two armies: One whimsical and the other, a repulsively manufactured pain in the butt? No. That wouldn’t bother The Factory too much… And that one winding path would pop out too many ideas even one dosage could handle!
But in all the dreams she’d had, one recurring idea stood tall. And despite it’s initial flaws, it’s grey-white walls, and sombrely clinical nature… it was always something unique, something missing. And being unique counted more than anything.
She scooted over behind the desk, shuffled a few pages of empty lined paper, and picked up a purple pen.
“Not the most colourful place… But mind you Jeremy, it always has the most interesting ideas…”
Isabelle Wondertainment sighed and looked back down at the papers, before pausing for a brief moment.
“Foundation… There's a fun idea!”
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is kept within a standard humanoid containment chamber. Access to brewing equipment and beverage supplies has been granted for recreational purposes.
Psychological treatment of SCP-XXXX is ongoing. Approval for SCP-XXXX to operate in the site's cafeteria is under review.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a female humanoid, measuring 2m in height and weighing 80kg. The words "Ms. Memory, from Little Misters ® by Dr. Wondertainment" are tattooed across SCP-XXXX’s right forearm.
SCP-XXXX is able to recall memories up to twelve years in their past, describing major and minor details with seemingly perfect accuracy. SCP-XXXX will recall memories when they choose, or unwillingly when triggered by specific prompts, such as photos or others mentioning the event. Testing shows that SCP-XXXX is completely immune to the effects of Amnestic treatment, hypnosis, and other memory alteration methods.
Subjects discussing topics with which SCP-XXXX is knowledgable of have displayed superior memorization and understanding of the information taught. Information learnt can however be removed from the subject’s memories with regular Amnestic treatment.
Through the utilization of their abilities, SCP-XXXX has dedicated its time to becoming a coffee barista. SCP-XXXX is capable of preparing a multitude of recipes for both hot and cold beverages, and can operate brewing equipment and utensils near flawlessly. Drinks brewed by SCP-XXXX are considered by both casual and expert coffee consumers to be of high quality and taste. None of these skills or the drinks produced are anomalous.
SCP-XXXX was previously employed by a coffee shop privately operated by GoI-116 “Ambrose Restaurants”, in Chicago, United States. Since containment, SCP-XXXX has expressed no desire to learn any additional skills other than that which involves making coffee.
Addendum - Interview Transcript:
[Removed for brevity]
Dr. Ling: You’re an educational toy?
Brewing machine noises
SCP-XXXX: Correct! Have a coffee and a gold star. No wait. Sorry, old habit.
Dr. Ling: Certainly. So do you have anything else you'd tell us?
SCP-XXXX: Well there's this fantastic Turkish blend I've been dying to try-
Dr. Ling: No… I was hoping to hear what you knew about this “Wondertainment” and your creation?
SCP-XXXX: Not much. I’ve always been a mister and besides, I'm not associated with them anymore. There was a brief time before then… But everything was just blank. No sound. No anything. Like watching a broken television screen.
Dr. Ling: So you were created this way?
SCP-XXXX: Of course I was! I remember everything, but nothing from before then. So I’ve always been like this. Why wouldn’t I be?
Dr. Ling: …Right. You mentioned you read a lot. Care to elaborate?
SCP-XXXX: Oh, curious? Well to put it simply, I had to “learn” to be Ms. Memory. The doctor said it was only fitting that I learn most thing myself to better understand how to teach others.
Dr. Ling: What was it your learned, then?
SCP-XXXX: Anything useful: Mathematics, physics, chemistry, wooden toy carving, ancient history and religions… I read as much as possible and had plenty of room to interpret subjects. There was other stuff I had to read too… But for some reason all I recall is more blanks. Like black censor bars or something.
Dr. Ling: And the coffee? Where does that come from?
SCP-XXXX: Well it is the universal fuel of teachers! The doctor never liked the stuff, but I drank it like crazy. Started reading books on brewing my own. Somedays I learned more about coffee than mathematics, it'd get the doctor would get pretty steamed.
Dr. Ling: And just how much have you read?
SCP-XXXX: In total? Two-thousand and fifty-four books. Not counting the ones I've read since arriving here.
Dr. Ling: …Wow. I’d have thought you’d read even more.
SCP-XXXX: No need with my memory! All up in my head, so no need to study constantly. And even then, reading the same things too much just leads to memory repeats, over and over and over and over again in my head. It’s not pleasant.. and very disorienting. Plus, I wanted to finally get out.
Dr. Ling: And why was that?
SCP-XXXX: To go out and help kids! I didn’t want to spend all my life cooped up inside when there were kids with nobody to learn from or play with! It’s what I was made for. Teaching the fun of learning and reading! Learn something from Ms. Memory, and you never forget it… Children need to grow up and remember those feelings of fun and wonder, as doc told me. That’s my other purpose, to ensure adults never forget what it was like being a kid and the good times along with it. Even when growing up’s a bummer.
Dr. Ling: Actually, what can you tell us about them? Your previous owners?
SCP-XXXX: Oh. I don't think I could ever pick just one child to discuss. Too many fun little minds, too difficult to choose, you know? I don’t want to pick a favorite…
Dr. Ling: That's alright, just give us a general idea.
SCP-XXXX: I really couldn't. Can we move onto coffee now? Maybe later.
SCP-XXXX sips from mug
Dr. Ling: No really. I'd like to know.
SCP-XXXX continues drinking in silence
Dr. Ling: How about your employment at Ambrose? How did that occur?
SCP-XXXX: Ambrose? Not long after my previous owner, I heard word of an Ambrose coffee branch located there in Chicago. Getting a job there was even easier, since I’d already memorized most of the beverages. Unfortunately, I never got round to learning any of their stranger drinks, if that’s what you’re wondering. Sorry.
Dr. Ling: Not exactly. It's just, finding you working for Ambrose was a surprising revelation. And with your claims of enjoying education, I can’t help but wonder why you chose to work there.
SCP-XXXX: Jobs and education, right? I loved it at first, but the truth is… After a while, you just get tired of doing the same thing. I wanted to explore some other avenue, and I chose coffee! So that’s where I've been since.
Dr. Ling: Well, is there anything more you'd like to share? We'd like to know at least a few things-
SCP-XXXX: Nope, that's fine. Hey, how about I fix up a dalgona for you? That's your favorite, unless of course I forgot! Haha…
SCP-XXXX prepares to stand up
Dr. Ling: I'm sorry, but this isn’t really up for debate. And your privileges can easily be revoked if you aren't compliant.
SCP-XXXX: Fine. …I enjoyed teaching at first, but then… But after a while, I realized that I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I had originally. Happy?
Dr. Ling: No. You can share more than that.
SCP-XXXX: There's not much else to say. I wasn't happy anymore, so I moved onto something else. End of story.
Dr. Ling: That’s hard to believe, given your earlier enthusiasm. You looked genuinely happy while talking about teaching.
SCP-XXXX goes silent
SCP-XXXX: Well… Things didn’t work out, so to speak. I realized that I wasn’t cut out for it in the long run. And unfortunately, it took a few mistakes to realize that.
One child, Phillip… We were playing at the park, but I looked away for a few seconds, and some idiot rode his bike right into him. He got a few bruises. He was fine, but the look on his face is awful to think about…
Dr. Ling: Well that's not really your fault at all… But is there anything else you may not have mentioned? We're just trying to figure out as much as we can. You have no idea how big of a help this could be to us.
SCP-XXXX: …This other time, I was owned by a girl called Christina, and she ran off. I looked for her, spent hours searching until she found her own way back home. She was so clever. I was relieved, but her parents weren’t happy. They got rid of me, but I don’t blame them. Their anger I could handle, but I lost their "little darling", that’s what got me. It’s hard moving on from those things, especially when they’re all so similar. Whenever I made one mistake, the rest would just flood right back out again, fresh as ever.
Dr. Ling: Anything else?
SCP-XXXX: No.
Dr. Ling: …Listen, we’ve tracked down a report, regarding an incident involving a “Hillary Tarrason”. Do you have anything more to share?
Dr. Ling produces a newspaper clipping and slides it towards SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX examines it and immediately attempts to grab it out of Dr. Ling’s hand.
Dr. Ling: Please. If you’d-
SCP-XXXX closes their eyes and turns away
SCP-XXXX: No! I said no! I don’t want to think about these things! Why are you doing this!? It wasn’t my fault…
At this point SCP-XXXX became severally distressed and was unable to continue the interview. Dr. Ling declared a short break until SCP-XXXX’s stress reduced to a suitable level. SCP-XXXX was then informed that additional brewing supplies and recreational material would be granted if it complied until the interview’s conclusion.
[Log Continued]
Dr. Ling re-enters the room. SCP-XXXX stands by a coffee maker, preparing a drink.
SCP-XXXX: What can I get you this time? Peppermint swirl?
Dr. Ling: How did you- Sure.
SCP-XXXX pours the beverage and hands it to Researcher Ling
SCP-XXXX: Drink up!
Dr. Ling: Right, thank you. Anyway, are you ready to continue?
SCP-XXXX: Like I said before, I like making coffee.
Dr. Ling: You know I don’t mean that. Why though?
SCP-XXXX: I just prefer it. When you’re good at something and like it, you do it. I happen to enjoy learning about coffee and making it. I can work these machines literally with my eyes closed and still make the best cup of coffee you’ll ever have.
Dr. Ling: But you're capable of much more. Remember initial testing? You recited the entirety of a quantum-physics textbook after one read, and you still can.
SCP-XXXX: You can’t prove that.
Dr. Ling: Fourth word, eleventh line, page four-hundred and seventy-five.
SCP-XXXX: Magnesium. Wait. no, lucky guess. Anyone would remember a fun word like "magnesium".
Dr. Ling: Look, we’ve given you access to plenty of resources to keep occupied with. Why are you still hesitant to share what you know? Someone with your abilities would be doing all sorts of things. Why so persistent?
SCP-XXXX: Who cares? You think I’ve memorized some big secret or something? That I’ve figured out the truth about the universe or some other crap? because I haven’t. Give me access to a laboratory, and I won’t make any miracle cures for disease, I’ll just brew ‘cafe au lait’ with a bunsen burner.
Dr. Ling: Just tell us why. I want to know why you quit. The accident, maybe you felt responsible for it? And why obsess over this, instead of something grander?
SCP-XXXX: Well, you could say what I do is rather "grande" so… Well… Fine.
So, you know how when you see something terrible, even if it’s too much to handle, it might get better over time? Mostly it'll hurt, but with the right help, you’ll eventually heal? You'll learn to see it in another light and get over it. Hope it fades into distant memory. Well… I fucking can’t. There’s not much left in me as a “Mister” anymore, but I can at least get something out of this. It's something That helps keep my mind off things and I'm good at it. It's simple, but it works.
Dr. Ling: But, why coffee though?
SCP-XXXX: That’s easy. I always enjoyed the stuff before I even left to help kids. Helped wake me up and relax when studying. Drank it a lot while I read to stay awake. Even the bad-tasting ones make me remember the good ones even more.
Coffee’s what I associate with the time before all of… that, it helps. Every time I recall those other memories, I just end up creating a new memory of how it felt to recall those memories. And then I remember those every time I recall the original ones by association… And because I remember it a bit differently each time, it stays fresh. Like looking at the same accident from a different angle. And spotting something new to be disturbed by. But if I keep making coffee, eventually I’ll start remembering something better, instead of all my failures. …How's your drink?
Dr. Ling: …It’s good. Best I've had actually.
SCP-XXXX: Haha, Thanks. I know.
Addendum-2: The following note was recovered from SCP-XXXX's former place of work.
Wow! You've found your very own Ms. Memory, from Dr. Wondertainment!
You'll need her if you want to make fun memories while becoming the Brand New Mr. Collector!
00. Mr. Prologue
01. Mr. Dark
02. Mr. Remembrance
03. Mr. Toxic
04. Mr. Collector
05. Mx. Voltage
06. ██. Gears
07. Ms. Memory ✔ Ms. Beverage ✓
08. Mr. Nobody
09. Mr. Brainy
10. Ms. Seraph
11. Mr. Chronal and Mr. Dimension
12. Mr. Fish
13. Mr. Epilogue
14. Mr. Redd (Discontinued)
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Site of SCP-XXXX (Hong Kong)
Special Containment procedures: Foundation agents have been embedded amongst employees of select parks in which SCP-XXXX manifestations occur. Containment personnel are to monitor the respected parks attraction at all times, for sightings of SCP-XXXX.
Following exposure to the attraction, guests showing symptoms of post-hallucinogenic phenomena are to be brought in for questioning and then released following Amnestic treatment. Personnel are to follow the parks standard arrest protocols when securing subjects, ensuring not to cause any alarm to the individual or other visitors present.
Personnel are to ensure subjects that they are in no trouble, stating that they are simply needed for questioning regarding the exhibit, before escorting them to the respected Disneyland’s interrogation room.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomena experienced by select individuals interacting with the “Sword in the Stone” Disney attraction, located in five of the major Walt Disney Park entertainment resorts. Current estimates determine 0.5% of visitors to experience SCP-XXXX when interacting with the attraction.
Select individuals that take part in the attraction, attempting to pull the replica Excalibur from it's anvil will experience a hallucination lasting several seconds. This hallucination will cause the subject to perceive the sky as being covered by heavy grey clouds, regardless of the current weather. Subjects will then witness several of the clouds to depart, revealing a bright ray of light that will shine down onto them. A loud, disembodied voice will then be heard announcing “You are destined for great things” before the hallucination concludes. Subjects will gradually forget the anomalous phenomena caused by the experience overtime, only remembering partly pulling the sword from the anvil as normal for the attraction. SCP-XXXX will not occur for the same subject more than once.
At present, all recorded subjects that have experienced SCP-XXXX have went onto acquire varying careers in the creative arts, entertainment, or business. Subject will often describe the means of attaining their achievements to have been “Challenging” and “Unforgiving”, yet worthwhile despite these difficulties. Approximately 45% of these subjects have went onto gain employment at the Walt Disney Corporation.
Addendum: Since its discovery, several interviewed subjects have reported hearing alternative quotes while experiencing SCP-XXXX. An abridged log of notable incidents has been listed below:
| Subject: | Spoken Phrase: | Notes: |
|---|---|---|
| Tyler Reese, Human Resources Manager for ███████ Enterprises | “I cannot promise you much, You’ve already achieved enough.” | Subject invested [REDACTED]'s worth of stock in the Walt Disney Cooperation following the event. |
| Martin Melville, Quantum engineer | "You're head's in the right place, but your heart could still do some thinking of it's own." | Several days following the subjects exposure to SCP-XXXX, a minor reality disturbance was detected in the Black Rock Desert. Investigation revealed several mountain tops in the area had been converted to include large, spherical protrusions on either side. |
| N/A (See Notes) | “We could have created something truly wonderful together” | Personnel were unable to recall the subjects identity, gender, or age following the interview. A paper flyer was found on the subjects chair after their release, advertising a [DATA EXPUNGED]. |
| “Artie P Dragon” | “Sorry, but this isn't the sword you are searching for.” | Later inspection of security records revealed the subjects I.D. to have been fake. Investigation ongoing. |
| Atsushi Ōkubo, professional mangaka | “Fool.” | N/A |
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The neighbourhood in which SCP-XXXX was discovered has been vacated and is currently under Foundation jurisdiction. Trespassers are to be apprehended and released following ammnestic treatment.
SCP-XXXX has been fitted with a reinforced entrance and breach alarm. Secretions leaking from SCP-XXXX are to be cleaned daily.
In the event of SCP-XXXX-1 breaching containment, on-site security are to use specialised long-range electric prods to force SCP-XXXX-1 back inside SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to the attic of a house located in ███████, Wisconsin, United States. All attempts to enter SCP-XXXX are prevented by the presence of SCP-XXXX-1. Examination of SCP-XXXX’s interior is entirely impeded by SCP-XXXX-1’s mass. It is unknown whether SCP-XXXX-1 is located entirely within SCP-XXXX, or if the remainder of its form exists within some interdimentional form of space.
SCP-XXXX-1 is an enormous tongue, approximately one meter in width, and of undetermined length, located inside SCP-XXXX. DNA testing of SCP-XXXX-1's saliva has shown it to apparently be human. SCP-XXXX-1 will extend from SCP-XXXX at random intervals, attempting to traverse the house while wriggling as it to feel around rooms. SCP-XXXX-1 will spend several minutes traveling between various rooms, often exploring both floors multiple times. Following this, SCP-XXXX-1 will retreat back into SCP-XXXX, along with any objects or living entities stuck to its body. Such items brought into SCP-XXXX have yet to be recovered.
Addendum: One week following initial containment of SCP-XXXX, an enormous tongue significantly larger than SCP-XXXX-1 was witnessed breaching the garage entrance of a neighbouring home. No activity from SCP-XXXX-1 was detected during this event. Examination of the tongue revealed it to bare several scars, all identical to those obtained by SCP-XXXX-1 from security personnel.
Following this event, all entrances and openings in the neighbourhood were reinforced and securely locked. Current investigations into the range of SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties exceeding ███████ is ongoing.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Current means of containing SCP-XXXX are hindered by its wide-spread nature. Containment is primarily managed via Foundation web-crawlers programmed to log SCP-XXXX related symptoms reported within worldwide phycological/medical record databases.
Subjects experiencing the stages of SCP-XXXX are to be investigated and if confirmed, to be taken into Foundation custody. As amnestic treatment has proven to prevent the ongoing effects of SCP-XXXX, subjects are to be treated appropriately and released.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a reoccurring dream experienced by humans. An estimated 5000< cases of SCP-XXXX have been reported annually, and no decisive connection between subjects has been determined. Dreams will last approximately three minutes in realtime, while subjects experiencing SCP-XXXX will report roughly 3-6 hours passing from their own perspective.
In all instances, SCP-XXXX involves the dreamer being completely submerged in a body of water, described as being yellow and murky in colouration, with no apparent bottom.
Subjects will experience SCP-XXXX for 1-2 weeks daily, upon entering REM sleep. Following initial manifestation, SCP-XXXX will become increasingly more lucid following each additional dream. Despite all attempts, subjects are unable to locate the top or bottom of the water no matter how long they spend swimming in the dream. During the 1-2 weeks period, dreams will become increasingly more realistic from the subjects perspective. Subjects will additionally experience anomalous phenomena associated with their dreams, often manifesting as small portions of salt water in their lungs and other objects materialising on their person, piercing the skin.
Throughout the 1-2 week manifestation period, subjects dreams will incorporate the following changes and anomalous properties described in Document XXXX-A.
DOCUMENT XXXX-A
Stage #1: Subjects find themselves unable to move and will remain in the same spot while dreaming. Subjects may occasionally report feeling that they are not alone in the water.
Stage #2: Subjects become capable of controlling their movements while dreaming, although they may only swim in different directions. Subjects are unable to find the water’s surface or a physical bottom no matter how long they spend swimming. While unlikely, subjects may report noticing small objects appearing to float in the distance. These objects are difficult to decipher, due to the murkiness of the water.
Stage #3: Subjects report experiencing physical stimuli during SCP-XXXX. Subjects will become capable of feeling the water around them, describing it to be fairly cold and dirty. Despite having no need to do so, subjects may feel the need to hold their breathe, fearing they are running out of air. During this stage, subjects may report to have experienced piercing sensations on their skin.
Stage #4: Feelings similar to suffocation or choking will be experienced for the remainder of the dream. Subjects are highly likely to attempt swimming upwards to reach the surface.
Small amounts of yellow salt water will manifest in the subjects lungs. Subjects may notice multiple objects spread throughout the waters in the distance while swimming, similar to those described in Stage 2.
Stage #5: While attempting to swim towards the surface, subjects will notice an increasing number of objects floating in the distant waters. This number will increase in wherever area the subject is not presently watching. These will materialise perpetually closer towards the subject, until they are able to visibly identify them as metal fishhooks tied to fishing wire.
As subjects continue to swim, the number of fishhooks will increase in great number and proximity towards them. Fishhooks will eventually pierce the subject's body upon appearing close enough, and begin pulling upwards. If subjects attempt to struggle, additional fishing lines will continue to appear, piercing their skin, and continue. After varying periods of time, subjects that are still capable of sight will report seeing the water surface and sunlight above them.
If subjects are able to unhook themselves from these lines, they will awaken. Subjects will no longer experience SCP-XXXX from then onwards.
Subjects unsuccessful in doing so before the dream's end will spontaneously dematerialise. After which, a thin layer of salt water will appear over the subject's body before falling.
Item #: SCP-001
Object Class: N/A
Special Containment Procedures: Containment procedures yet to be implied.
Current proposals suggest the entrance to SCP-001 remain locked and re-hidden behind the bookcase it was initially discovered.
Description: SCP-001 is a 6x6m² room located within Foundation Site-001, discovered behind a bookcase in the Reality Reconstruction section of the library. A placard on the front of the door reads “Site Department of Abnormalities”. No records of SCP-001’s construction have been currently found.
A single light bulb dangles SCP-001’s ceiling, however no light switch has been located. A large metal filing cabinet is attached to the back wall of the room, which contains multiple paper documents that have been heavily expunged.
In the centre of the room sits a mahogany writing desk, on which are an array of miscellaneous items, including:
- A rusted fob watch
- A cracked monocle
- A broken brass padlock
- A worn silver pendant shaped like a lily flower
- A chipped, marble hippo pepper shaker
- The remains of a small potted cactus
When opened, the desk’s cabinets will always be found to contain varying stacks of blank A4 paper.
At the desk sits a medium sized humanoid skeleton in a swivel chair. Identification of the corpse’s biological gender and age has been unsuccessful. In its right hand is grasped a fountain pen consistently dripping red ink.
While all attempts to recover most information from the documents have failed, the size of several expunged sections of the documents suggest all to have been for Items with the same SCP designation: 001. No items had previously been registered under this designation.
Addendum: Immediately following documentation of SCP-001, the skeleton sitting inside sat upright, and the light bulb directly above lit up. The skeleton then took a sheet of paper from the desk, and began writing with its fountain pen in black ink. It then proceeded to write down, the containment document of SCP-001, which had just recently been written. Following this, it began expunging all information on the paper with its pen, during which a severe reality reconstructing event was detected via the site-001’s mainframe. The skeleton then stood up and walked over to the rooms filing cabinet, and stored the document inside.
Following this, the skeleton returned to its chair and sat back down, before falling back into an inactive state. Upon doing so, the interior of SCP-001 abruptly fell downwards into an expanse of black void. The door then immediately closed.
Item #: SCP-001
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is contained within a single room of unknown construct and size, located in Foundation Site-001.
The only entrance is a steel door with a placard reading “SCP-001”.
Description: While the room containing SCP-001 can be accessed normally, all attempts to identify it’s interior are seemingly impossible.
All persons that have accessed SCP-001 recall entering the room, but find themselves incapable of determining exactly what it is. When questioned, subjects give ambiguous answers, such as [DATA EXPUNGED], [REDACTED], and ███████.
Department of Pataphysics
WARNING:
The following document has been archived by the Foundation department of Pataphysics. The meaning of any information written in this document may not be subject to the standard laws of casualty or narrative laws.
Item #: SCP-001
Object Class: N/A
Special Containment Procedures: Containment procedures yet to be implied.
Current proposals suggest the entrance to SCP-001 remain locked and re-hidden behind the bookcase it was initially discovered.
Description: SCP-001 is a small room discovered in Site-001, hidden behind a bookcase in the site library's Reality Reconstruction section. No records exist of SCP-001 having ever been built during the sites initial construction. SCP-001 contains substantial traces of realitization emissions, a phenomena built up following multiple CK-pataphysical restructuring scenarios originating from a single, distinct location. The nature of these restructuring events and the alterations they have caused are currently unknown.
SCP-001’s interior is 6x6m² and constructed from standard materials. A lightbulb dangles from the centre of the ceiling, however no light switch is present. In the centre of SCP-001 is a mahogany writing desk with a computer setup, which consistently remains powered on; a number of miscellaneous decorations; and a swivel chair. On the computer is installed a standard document writing application, and multiple PDF files labelled “SCP-001” followed by a unique title7.
At the time of SCP-001’s initial discovery, there were no existing items ever designated as SCP-001.
Addendum: Immediately following documentation of SCP-001, an unidentified human female manifested within the desk’s swivel chair. The subject sat up and the light directly above them lit up. The subject proceeded to access the computers writing application and begin writing the contents of SCP-001’s document verbatim before saving.
The subject was witnessed to then stand up and walk to the right of the room, where a large steel door was now present, before opening it, and walking through. Before staff present could react further, the door shut behind the subject and demanifested. A brief examination of the rooms interior before the door closed revealed multiple humanoid skeletons inside, each lying on a large stone slabs.
Upon examining the writing desk, a black fountain pen was found to have appeared among the other items.
Item #: SCP-N/A
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-N/A is contained within a single room of unknown construct and size, located in Foundation Site-001.
The only entrance is a steel door with a placard reading “SCP-N/A”.
Description: While the room containing SCP-N/A can be accessed normally, all attempts to identify it’s interior have been unsuccessful.
All persons that have accessed SCP-N/A recall entering the room, but find themselves incapable of determining exactly what it is. When questioned, subjects always give ambiguous answers, such as [DATA EXPUNGED], [REDACTED], and ███████. Subjects often claim recalling seemingly random, miscellaneous items.
Claimed items have included:
- A rusted fob watch
- The remains of a small potted cactus
- A cracked monocle
- A broken brass padlock
- A worn silver pendant shaped like a lily flower
- A chipped, hippo shaped pepper shaker
- A black fountain pen, consistently leaking red ink
The Item Designation "001" has been removed from the Foundation database.
Item #: SCP-001-J
Object Class: Unconfirmed Explained
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-001-J is unnecessary. All reports of SCP-001-J’s “Raging rampage of The Nether realms” are to be dismissed.
Description: SCP-001-J was supposedly, an ancient entity originating from the Nether realms of Blood-Minotaur XIII. Numerous historical legends and myths supporting SCP-001-J's existence have been recovered, all of which prophesy its eventual arrival into the mortal plane.
SCP-001-J is depicted as a gargantuan reptilian entity with multiple tendrils. SCP-001-J’s head resembles that of an emaciated, elderly human male, and secretes a black acidic substance from its facial orifices. On SCP-001-J’s face is a large, red clown nose. SCP-001-J is particularly fond of consuming human infants and kittens. Inside of SCP-001-J's mouth are masses of long, blunt teeth; within its throat is a swirling vortex, leading to the “Endless Expanse of Misery” as referenced in related texts.
Addendum - Surveillance File- Site-██/Break room-00342: SCP-001-J_discussion:
Researcher Dummar sits at a break room table amongst several other members of staff, eating lunch. Assistant Researcher Agnew suddenly bursts into the room, with several religious tomes under one arm, a rifle hanging over his shoulder, and a severed clown nose in his hand. The group stare at him in surprise, until noticing the clown nose and then dismissing him before returning to their lunch.
Researcher Agnew: Um… Well… hello? Anybody care to ask what’s going on!?
Dr. Dummar: Seriously man? You too? We know what’s going on, and it’s pretty immature to say the least. Expected better from you…
Researcher Agnew: What? I- Look, the site needs to be put under lockdown protocol! SCP-001 is on its way here and I can’t get access to the failsafes! I need someone with clearance. Worst comes to worst, we’ll have to hard reset everything, but it's better than the alternative-
Dr. Dummar: Wow, you’re really selling this whole “Desperate survivor” character piece. Admire the dedication though, I’ll give you that.
Brief pause
Researcher Agnew: …Ok. Obviously We’re discussing two different topics here. What’s the deal with you guys and- Hang on, why are you all just sitting in here eating!?
Dr. Dummar: Isn’t it obvious? We get the joke. Just leave it alone already.
Researcher Agnew: You think this is all…? How can you even think that?
Dr. Dummar: Well, I mean look at that thing.
Dr. Dummar turns to the break room television, a live news broadcast is playing. SCP-001-J appears onscreen, chanting unintelligibly. A large crowd of civilians are currently undergoing the physical conversion process into smaller facsimiles of SCP-001-J. A cacophony of screams is heard. SCP-001-J squeezes its nose, making a loud honking sound. Several personnel laugh.
Dr. Dummar: It's got a big silly clown nose. That's just too daft to be a real anomaly…
Researcher Agnew: What!? We deal with this shit all the time! What's so hard to grasp about all of this- Look! The chanting's making your ears bleed!
Personnel sitting at the table begin bleeding out of their ears
Dr. Dummar: Well, that's probably just strawberry jam.
Researcher Agnew: No! it's not! It's spilling down the sides of your lab coats and forming a puddle on the floor! It’s spelling out the words "JOIN OUR VESSELS"!
Dr. Mortimer dabs the substance with his finger and licks it
Dr. Mortimer: Ew, not very good strawberry jam.
The bleeding continues
Researcher Agnew: Might I remind you, that is if I don't finally lose my sanity I might add… That we contain a number of anomalies that would constitute as “Ridiculous”? That’s why you should be terrified! The fact that something so silly could be so terrifying is why it’s so scary!
Dr. Dummar: Oh come on man. No anomalies could be that ridiculous…Researcher Agnew: …You actually believe that? None whatsoever?
Dr. Dummar: Yeah. None whatsoever.
Researcher Agnew pauses briefly before physically turning red
Researcher Agnew: Are you serious!? That… Thing is bringing armageddon to the entire world- Outside of our windows! See!?
Researcher Agnew points to the break room window. Outside is entirely submerged in an ocean of crimson water and torn meat.
Dr. Dummar: Ok… That’s a bit strange…
The face of SCP-001-J appears within the waters; it squeezes it's nose, letting out a loud “HONK”, before smiling cheerfully and swimming closer.
Dr. Dummar: Oh wait! Haha! That almost got me there… See man? You’re taking this too seriously. It's definitely a j-
Dr. Dummar and all other personnel sitting at the table collapse onto the break room floor, in a pool of liquified brain matter. Researcher Agnew trudges out of the room. Shortly after, audible banging against a wall can be heard from Researcher Agnew’s office, continuing for several minutes before the site is entirely consumed by SCP-001-J.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: Preparations for Operation: VALHALLA REVIVAL are ongoing. Upon completion of OVR, SCP-XXXX will be presented worldwide on all available visual media platforms. Additionally, physical copies of SCP-XXXX will be delivered to countries and locations with minimal or no technological means of viewing SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a single cognihazardous image. When viewed by a living entity that is prone to its anomalous properties, SCP-XXXX will appear as a large forest region, containing trees of varying, colourful foliage; and a single pathway, leading to a tall, rocky mountain in the distance. At the top of the mountain appears to be a glowing archway, accessible via stairway leading from the bottom of the mountain.
When SCP-XXXX is viewed directly by a living being through any format (digital, physical, etc), there is a <99.9% chance that the subject will immediately cease all life signs.
Development of SCP-XXXX was established following the unification of multiple organisations within the anomalous community. Creation of SCP-XXXX for the means of developing a cognitohazard, capable of bypassing the effects of anomalies which prevent the phenomena of death. Additional aid has been granted by various deity level entities, with assistance from these Groups of Interest, utilising various methods and anomalous practices. Following negotiations, creation of the anomaly was put into motion8.
Addendum:
OPERATION: VALHALLA REVIVAL HAS COME TO FRUITION
The end is finally at our doorstep after such long, gruelling, harrowing wait.
We have accomplished the our finale goal. In one finale act, the last nail in the coffin, we present salvation through death.
SCP-XXXX
Life signs detected
SITE-01 DOCUMENT ARCHIVES
The following document: SCP-001-EX has been archived for future research reference only.
Item #: (Replace with designated item number)
Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)
Special Containment Procedures: This document is to be deleted immediately upon its completion, so I can finally get some actual work done.
Description: SCP-001 is this very document. It isn’t anomalous in and shouldn't exist. But I've got a deadline to meet and my mind's a blank, so I’m just typing this in hopes that it’ll get the creative juices flowing and clear my head of this crap.
SCP-001 was discovered after realising that I’d been starring at a blank computer screen for almost five hours. I've paced around my office for ten minutes in a misguided effort to get my brain working, but all that did was tire my legs out and remind me of how hideously out of shape I am. It is unknown if SCP-001 contains the required number of words to look like i’ve actually been busy, or if site manager Berryman who just passed by my stall noticed what I was actually writing, and is currently planning to demote or kill me as we speak.
Addendum: I can’t think of anything else to write, so here’s an addendum. Maybe I can pass this whole thing off as a memetic effect? Fake a cardiac arrest? It’s worth a shot. Maybe that’s the true horror of SCP-001.
Addendum: Ah shit
Notice: Following Researcher Langford's accidental posting of this document, additional security measures (See Document: BERRYMAN-LANGFORD KILL AGENT for further details) were implemented to prevent further oversights by personnel.
It was 8:00am when Sasha Landstrom awoke to the sight of several identical copies of herself. Each duplicate working efficiently at a different task within the shared quarters. Close inspection confirmed each one to be tireder than the last and sporting the same identical wristwatch; each of which read a time matching the respected copies state of exhaustion by the hour. Despite the obvious shared looks of fatigue, each sported an oblivious smile of determination and pride.
Navigating over several sleeping bags and one sleeping duplicate (05:47am), Sasha picked up the expected cup of fresh coffee sitting on her small breakfast table/workplace; the only alarm clock she had ever approved of in her entire life. Sasha happily sat down next to three other copies 13:22 pm, 15:31 pm and 17:45 pm, the first of which was working on a new research document while the other two were heavily tearing their respected versions apart and re-writing. There was no breakfast at the table so Sasha assumed she’d never get to making it, at least that was one less thing to worry about along the temporal timeline.
Finishing her coffee, Sasha prime got up. “Who-“
She was suddenly greeted by an arm emerging from her showroom, baring a laminated time schedule. The schedule was practically packed throughout every hour of the day, but as usual for her, this schedule was ordered by task to hour rather than hour to task. Almost every square was stuffed with multiple tasks followed by the corresponding minutes of the hour. Todays travels were going to be more sporadic than usual, five of her would be working on multiple projects in the tech lab down the hall while two from several hours later would be working in the room adjacent.
Taking in her schedule for the day, Sasha stepped out of the shower as Sasha prime stepped in, closing the door behind her. Dr. Sasha Landstrom had been working as a researcher for the Foundation department of timeline research for several years at this point. And despite having the literal ability to predict almost anything within reason before it occurred, moments were never dull in her field of work. Since the invention and approval of the time piece wristwatches, personnel of the department were insisted to use them as efficiently as possible. Ensuring a balance between healthy working hours and achieving work on time at all times. Sasha was an exception in the fact that she had used hers more than any other researcher in the entire department. To put it simple, she had joined the department five years ago and had aged by fifteen within that same period.
Sasha prime re-entered the quarters, all Sasha's still typing, scrawling and all descriptors of busy actions in-between. Cleaned and dressed, she was ready for the first task of the day, a joyous presentation with the higher ups at 7:30. It was now 8:15. Sasha prime stepped out of the quarters and into the a narrow hallway, with just enough time to pass by the aforementioned higher ups. The warm smiles from several of them had confirmed that this presentation would not go down as bad as the previous few, or at least that’s not what they were letting on.
Sasha set her watch to 8:15 am and immediately flickered out from sight. As per usual, today would be busy.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained in a Keter-class vehicle storage unit. Searches are ongoing for additional instances.
SCP-XXXX
Description: SCP-XXXX is a transit bus consisting entirely of organic material, outwardly resembling a non-anomalous instance. It’s interior contains multiple organs and bone-marrow structured in-place of a motor engine and other mechanisms. Multiple instances of the same organs are present throughout. Biologically, SCP-XXXX’s internal structure and organs are human.
In the driver’s seat of SCP-XXXX is a large growth consisting of skin, fats, and nerve tissue shaped and coloured to resemble a human male in a bus driver’s uniform from the waist up. The growth is capable of limited movement and asking subjects for bus fare in a raspy voice.
When SCP-XXXX contains a significant number of living humans (Roughly equal to the number of seats), any open windows and the main doors will close. Following this, a clear odourless gas (SCP-XXXX-1) will be produced from SCP-XXXX's stomachs and begin filling it’s interior through the ventilations shafts. Direct exposure to SCP-XXXX-1 will alter the outward physicality of living entities, increasing the body’s malleability, allowing subjects to be easily re-shaped when substantial force is applied.
Inhaling SCP-XXXX-1 will initiate a state of panic in subjects, gradually increasing until they break into an extreme state of panic and irritation, similar to claustrophobia. The main doors of SCP-XXXX will then open, allowing passengers to leave.
Discovery Log: SCP-XXXX was discovered via surveillance footage in ████████, England, where it had been posing as a non-anomalous transit bus following the [REDACTED] bus route.
After a substantial number of passengers had gotten onto SCP-XXXX, it traveled into a tunnel and pulled over, before starting to fill itself with SCP-XXXX-1. Following physical augmentation and induced panic caused by the gas, passengers entered a mass-panic and attempted to exit through the main doors all at once. The combined pressure of passengers forcing themselves through the doors simultaneously resulted in severe reshaping and amalgamation.
Upon exiting, all passengers had formed together into a roughly rectangular block, before additional augmentations began. Upon reaching the location, Foundation agents found that the passengers had fully converted into an additional instance of SCP-XXXX. The initial instance of SCP-XXXX had left shortly before their arrival.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The property in which SCP-XXXX is located has been purchased and classified as private land. Foundation security personnel are stationed on Site at all times.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the basement of a former manor house located in ██████, Louisiana, United States. The remainder of the building is non-anomalous. A cornerstone on the house is dated as 1749. The original occupants remain unknown; all signs of identification have been intentionally removed from the building. Draws and shelves have been emptied, several unlocked safes contained no valuables, and all framed paintings in the house have been torn from their frames.
The only means of accessing SCP-XXXX is a single hatch and retractable ladder inside a locked closet. SCP-XXXX contains no windows. Six pairs of chain shackles are attached to the furthest wall of SCP-XXXX in a row. Tally marks (Thirty-one in total) have been scratched onto the wall near the furthest shackles to the right. Under each pair of shackles is a dug out hole approximately twenty-five centimetres in diameter; each leading downwards into an underground sewage system, where daylight shines from an outside sewer grid.
Any physical damage received by a living subject inside SCP-XXXX will gradually heal over several hours, including injuries that would prove fatal. Indications of previous injuries will remain, such as scars, amputations, incorrect healing of bone structure, and other trauma.
A two meter wide hole has been dug in the centre of SCP-XXXX’s floor and re-filled with cement. The holes original depth is unknown.
Attached to the far-left wall within SCP-XXXX is a steel door leading into a small chamber. Signs of usage, including equipment and several items of interest have been recovered from within.
- An array of rusted medical tools and other equipment: Notable items include scalpels, hacksaws, a speculum, and a small metal hammer, and pick.
- A number of surgeon's garbs and other medical clothing.
- A leather whip. The item appears to have been worn from excessive usage and is partly stained in blood.
- A large, leatherback binder containing listings with the headings "Designation", "Item", and "status". Written underneath each heading in the respected grids below are: Numerous six digit designations, brief item descriptors, and the word "disposed".
- A small number of glass jars within a wooden cabinet. The jars are filled with preserving fluids and each contain a single human limb or interior organ.
- The right hand of an elderly caucasian male inside a glass jar. The hand does not decompose and ages as normal, despite having been amputated. The hand consistently scratches against its container. The hand continues this behaviour even when removed from SCP-XXXX.
