Per 
01.
— Director Talloran?
James smiles, turning to the sound of voice. He always is softly smiling and everyone loves him for that. He listens to everyone with that soft smile and he never screams. He is always calm.
He is a director already for ██ years. After █ years he is going to be nominated for O5 position, because he earned it. He always smiles softly and listens to you. Listens everything you have to say, will it be complaints, or tears, or threats.
— Yes? — James stands up from his place.
There is no answer, there is nobody in his cabinet. No one ever was in his cabinet, besides himself and his house plants. Whole wall near the table is fully covered in plants, some of them are anomalous, but not dangerous. Not one plant can harm him, because they are his friends. They keep him company when he works. Nobody else keeps site director Talloran company.
Nobody loves director Talloran.
James leaves his cabinet, locking the door. There is no need to do that, because when he leaves the cabinet it stops existing, his plants stop existing, his documents and personal belongings as well. If he leaves the cabinet nobody can access it, but James no matter what locks the cabinet. There is no need to risk once again.
He needs to get to the other side of this site. It takes exactly two steps.
James softly smiles.
— Director Talloran? Director?
He has signed several extermination papers. Several hundreds today. He hasn't read names, only reasons. Everyone deserves punishment, each and everyone, and James has to put punishment in place.
He is the judge, he is the executioner.
James softly smiles, when he takes the weapon. He did this countless number of times and will do more, if it is going to be necessary. Noone escapes punishment. And every punishment is fair.
He is fair. He decides who lives and who dies. Not all mistakes can be forgiven.
There is a procession of completely identical people in identical uniforms in front of him, but James cannot read names, cannot identify uniforms. He aims his gun. He holds it in front of forehead. Human in front of him doesn't move, does not react in any way. In the next moment the body falls on the ground. First, second, third. Procession doesn't end, he aims again and again, bodys fall one by one.
Hairstyle seems somewhat familiar, color of hair — so… so loved. This makes him take a pause.
His wife, his beautiful wife has long blond hair till waist, soft and delicate. James hugs her every night, tightly holds her, and her hair smells like wheat and clean fleid. His daughters have the same hair. Human in front of him has dark hair, that has dumb curls.
Another shot, another body.
They have not met.
His wife, and wife, and wife, and he is his wife, who he loves dearly. He could never love a man.
His hand lifts up and another body falls. Falls. Falls. And foreign blood is on his shoes, but James doesn't care. He will throw shoes away or feed them to his plants. They love to eat shoes with blood for some reason and he's ready to give them a little treat.
Another body falls.
Green eyes and dark hair looks good on dark olive skin. He aims and shoots. No reaction. Blood on the floor. And on shoes.
And on pants.
There is an old man in front entrance, two security staff members are holding him. Man is terrified. Man is crying, man is begging. He speaks in language James doesn't understand and it’s annoying, but he doesn't have reasons to kill this man. He has a big proccestion of identical bodies, who needs to be shot. In head. He has a wife and daughters.
He needs to shoot them all and them himself.
Shot. Body. Blood. Shot. Body. blood. Shot, body. Blood.
Body. Blood on his hands; he is suffocating a human. Man is still crying, still begging. It becomes more and more annoying. Human in front of him is a criminal and deserves to die. Human with green eyes in front of him is a traitor and he deserves to die. Human in front of him betrait Talloran.
Body. Blood.
His lab coat is covered in blood. His sweat is covered in blood.
There are fifty, hundred, three thousand bodies. Man is screaming. James smiles and steps back.
Man in the green jacket is still crying.
James kicks the nearest corpse. This is the corpse of his daughter. Who grew up to be a whore. This is the corpse of his best friend.
Doctor. Researcher. Director. Agent.
Green color makes him want to puke. Shot, shot, shot.
Step back.
Room disappears, his wife disappears, and his wife, and his wife, and his daughter, and a whore, and green jacket.
There is only his cabinet, and blood and shoes in blood, and lab coat in blood, and plants are eating him. He remembers names of all those bodies. Everyone one of them.
He has done this countless times already.
Second million was about to end, He didn't give up yet.
02.
tw: implications of rape, eye trauma
They were definitely more than fifty.
It was too dark in this room, James couldn't count; but he knew that they were a lot. He bundled up in his blanket, trying to warm up.
To no avail. Floor was wet, it was windy. He’ll get sick soon like this.
He looked around, one of the nearest Jameses to him was lying on the floor, he was shaking. Two others were sitting together, hugging in a desperate attempt to warm up. James doesn't allow anyone near him, while he can.
It was hard to focus on reality, but James has understood one thing very good — you can't trust anyone, even himself.
Especially himself.
Whatever was happening it wasn't real. Deep inhale. He can barely remember what was real, what was normal. Exhale.
Talloran. He — is researcher Talloran. He was him? He works for Foundation… James squeezed his knee, sinking his nails into skin, trying to sober up with pain. He couldn't remember the title of Foundation, which was amusing. His whole body was covered in the same logo.
Inhale. Exhale. Talloran. Researcher named James. Level three.
Inhale. He bundles in his blanket again. It’s heavy, but doesnt help to warm up.
Nothing matters, because nothing exists. No more passports, no more borders, no more work access cards, no more lab coat, no more his favorite shirt. He suffocates. Panic attack.
Was anything ever normal? James isn't sure.
Table should not melt. He shouldnt do anything weird. He passes out.
He comes to his senses after some time. James doesn't know how much has passed. When he wakes up he never knows until he is allowed to know. Nobody informs him now, but he knows he is not alone. He is never alone here.
He lies down, paralised. He lies down, he doesn't have eyes, his eye holes are full with tears and blood. Hundred, thousand, million eyes are watching him. He wants to puke from looking at green. Eyes are wanting an answer to a question that never will be asked.
He can't see, but he knows. Nobody speaks, but he knows. And it hurts, yes, it hurts, but James doesn't respond.
Nothing exists. Nothing matters. Nothing is real.
There is only himself and never ending terror, that plays with him.
— What do you want?
Nobody speaks, no answer follows. Eyes can't speak, James can’t either, he chokes on his vomit.
— What do you want?
Body can move again, he has eyes again, he can see again. He is still in the room with other Jameses, who desperately bundling in blankets.
The only door to the room opened and all Jameses moved to the opposite wall. They came again.
They — are senior staff members with head of animals and instinct of animals.
It hurts. But James doesn't resist, because three choose him and immediately break his hand. He closes his eyes. It hurts. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts. Terror is pleased, it dances somewhere near and screams. James is conscious during the whole process and he feels all fifty bodies.
Hurts.
But at some point it ends.
After six hours.
After six hours five Jameses are lying in bed. They are still in a dark room with wet blankets, but it’s warmer to hug. They are almost not afraid of touch of other naked body.
James holds the hilt of the knife tighter.
He stabs fast and precisely in the other stomach. He sees blade coming from his own stomach and hot blood pours too fast.
It is painful. It is right.
One day he will return to normal.
03.
For the first time in a thousand years he can think clearly.
It doesn't scare him, but it requires some time to adjust, to get used to. Constant never ending chaos consisting of agony was easier to digest, then sudden calmness. Howerer, any calmliness here was just an illusion. James learnt no to trust.
He cannot focus, because he doesn't have his glasses or lenses. He has a cup of tea in his hands, and it stinks. James still holds the cup, trying to warm hands. He is not alone in this room, it is someone's cabinet. Even walls don't help understanding who exactly is the owner, but researcher Talloran knows that he was in this cabinet huders of times. Hundred and four to be exact.
So little.
There is a human sitting in front of him. Human wants to smile, be it cannot. Human wants to talk, but it cannot. Out of nowhere James has his glasses and he can see that human doesn't have a face. That isnt scary, it is not disturbing, because James doesn't want to see green eyes.
“Why, James?”
James takes a small sip.
“Why have you killed me?”
“I’m sorry dear, but you don't exist.”
James smiles slightly apologetically.
“Why, James? You don't love me?”
“I’m sorry, but you don't exist. ”
James tries his best not to remember how many times he had to kill what was here Draven Kondraki. It doesn't hurt, no, it's just annoying. He is calm. He is going to kill as many times as it will be required. It's better to do something while you have a chance.
“What if you get back to reality and will kill me there?”
“My reality — your corpse without a face and constant chaos.” — James takes another sip. He almost doesn't want to vomit from this taste.
“Why, James?”
“Because.”
“Why, James?”
“I’m not coming back. You are not letting me. You are not going to let me out.”
Draven cuts something resembling a smile on his empty face with a knife.
“You are boring, you know? Murder, rape, muder, mosnters, torture, murder, vomit, shit,” — James puts his cup on the table. — “You are running out of ideas.”
“I love you James.”
“You don’t exist. It’s only you and me.”
“Why, James?”
“More interesting is the reason why I'm still alive. Because I’m still alive, you always remind me of that. I’m alive and no one else exists.”
“Why, James?”
James takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. Really, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? What's the difference. He puts glasses back. Cut of smile on not-Dravens face bleeds. James doesn't feel anything.
“Why, James?”
“You are boring. Are you tired? You are reaping yourself. I think you are losing your grip.”
Instead of stinking tea whiskey appears in his cup. James always was bad with such alcohol, but here it just doesn't matter. He drinks all of it. He doesn't feel anything.
It's somewhat insulting.
“James?”
“That’s my name.”
“James, please.”
“How do you even talk? Though, what’s the difference.”
James stands up. It is still an MTF operative in front of him. It still is capable of twisting his hands or breaking them. Ral Draven would never do that. James doesn't feel any guilt when he breaks the cup and the biggest piece of glass becomes a knife and the blade cuts the other neck in open. It’s not enough to kill. It's never enough to kill.
James deals with weapons too well, dogging other attacks.
In the end the body falls on the ground.
“Why, James?”
James stabs it in the chest. James kicks its head.
“Why, James?”
Researcher Talloran killed agent Kondraki. With incredible violence.
It was the second thousand time in the last two months.
When head becomes one bloody mess, James approaches the door.
Room disappears, James falls into nowhere and the appears in Site █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █.
“Such Site does not exist.”
But he is here. And it all looks normal. All staff members are himself. All anomalies are himself.
It’s all normal.
“James, are you okay?” — it’s agentdoctordirector without green eyes in front of him. It looks somewhat worried and it smells like alcohol and ink.
Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just killed you son.
“Oh, you are such a jokester, jaes. Come on, you have to rest,” — says agentdirrecotdoctor. It still doesn't have eyes.
James knows that there are eyes, but somehow he doesn't see them.
He cannot see green eyes.
Yes, let’s go. It’s a good idea.
“Unsuccessful experiment?” — directoragentdoctor has his own face and his own voice. On site █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █.
works only researcher Talloran.
I have killed your son.
“Good joke< jmses. You don’t have kids.”
Correct. Noone is here.
Corridor is empty, nobody is here.
James leaves to his cabinet, not looking up on the ceiling, because all green aeyes are there.
