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Kondraki usually never felt relieved that another grown man had taken a sharp implement to his genital area but getting the bottle off was an exception.

'Thanks' grumbled Kondraki, 'No problem' replied Dr. Larson much more cheerfully, 'And don't try and do it again', 'Sure' mumbled Kondraki, 'No matter how horny or whatever you were felling…', 'yep' muttered Kondraki.

'… You can stop staring at my penis now' he said

'Oh what? no, no I wasn't' Said Larson

Kondraki sighed, a long, drawn out, painful sigh.

'Pull up your pants Ben your a fucking grown man… Do you want the bottle back?

'What?, no!, why the fuck would I want it back?',

'I don't know like a thing to remember it by… so you don't do it again?'

'I think I'll be fine James'

'Cool… cool, is this to do with Clef? I mean I used to see you two around site all… well I can't exactly call it giggly but there was… something between you two, like a burni… warmly glowing… light'

'It's got nothing to do with Clef' Kondraki stated adamantly

'Really, uh.. .ok'

'So why'd you do it again?'

'I dunno, seemed like a good idea at the time'

'right… why did you come to me again?'

'Because you never talk'


'Can you not point the knife at me?'

'Uh sure' Larson stuffed the kitchen knife in his lab-coat pocket.

They both looked at each other. A junior assistant walked into the bathroom and stopped in his tracks,

'Be.. Dr. Kondraki pull up your pants!' Dr. Larson said while looking back and forth between Kondraki and the assistant, Kondraki slid off the bathroom counter and pulled up his pants.

'Uh… where's my belt?'

'Here…' The junior assistant handed him the barrier between shame and professionalism.

Kondraki stared at the assistant for too long until Dr. Larson chimed in:

'Well I best be off then… Important work to attend to'

The hopelessly confused assistant had to ask:

'What ju…'

'DON'T YOU SAY A FUCKING WORD!' barked Kondraki.

Dr. Larson walked down the hall to his office, unlit from the inside.

'Do you really have to sit in the dark?'

'No, I just got tired' replied Diogenes

He flipped on the lights.

'I got the bottle off'

'It was good while it lasted'

'Yeah, well until he pissed in it'

'Ew god'

'Yeah, I believe that was the impetus to come to me'

'And not the medical staff?'

'No I think he just wanted it over with before he had to show a real grown up'

'Hmm, anyway you called me here?'

'Yes, here you go…' Larson threw a clear plastic Dasani water bottle towards Diogenes.

'I want you to get that onto Kondraki's dick by the end of the week'

'Cool and ho…'

'two hundred now, two hundred after' Larson threw a rolled up wad of bills in Diogenes' general direction

'Seems doable'

'Great, I've got some uh… 'important work' to attend to, see ya.'

'See ya'

As Dr. Larson left his office, Diogenes leaned back in their chair looking over the bottle. Diogenes sighed,

'This *is* wearing bit thin'