Per 
Item #: SCP-001
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: The island where SCP-001 is located is to be omitted from all globally circulated maps, indulging satellite and GPS. The island is to remain uninhabited and patrolled by armed drones controlled by all 13 members of the O5 Council. One O5 member is to remain conscious at all times and immediately respond to any activity on the island with lethal force.
SCP-001 is to remain off until a unanimous decision can be reached by the O5 Council
Description: SCP-001 is a machine located in a shed on an island 15 miles off the southern coast of Greenland. SCP-001 works off of the law of the universe known as the Yin-Yang principle, which states nothing can exist without it’s opposite in perfect balance. For example, good cannot exist without evil, life cannot exist without death, and prosperity cannot exist without suffering. SCP-001 attempts to manipulate this law by artificially increasing the amount of suffering in the universe, which will, in turn, increase the amount of prosperity.
SCP-001 controls a series of gargantuan mechanical arrays located in the crusts of 39,446 planets, including Earth.1 The arrays feature contraptions which, when activated, will rise from the ground and detain every sentient life form on the planet and inject them with a substance known as Hell Serum.
Hell Serum is an anatomy-neutral chemical which, when injected into a sentient life form, will cause the victim’s nervous system to emit the maximum amount of pain possible. At the same time, Hell Serum keeps the victim alive and effectively immortal. However, 100% of life forms die immediately after administration ends.
Each array is made up of three components:
1. Mechanical arms which detain sentient life forms and inject them with Hell Serum
2. Subterranean panels which absorb energy from the planet and use it to power the array
3. Subterranean apparatuses that create Hell Serum
4. Weapons systems to terminate all off-planet life forms
SCP-001’s controls consist of 39,446 small switches and a single red button. Each switch has the name2 of a corresponding planet engraved onto it. When the single button is pressed, every planet whose switch is in the down position will have their mechanisms activated. Because Hell Serum kills all of its victims once administration ends, activation of a planets mechanisms is considered irreversible.
Also features on SCP-001 are two dials which display the suffering to prosperity ratio and the number of button presses remaining. The first dial reads that the current suffering to prosperity rate is 631,000,000 to 1, meaning it takes 100 years of suffering to yield 5 seconds of prosperity. The second dial reads that there is only 1 button press remaining.
For an unknown reason, every switch in SCP-001’s control panel is set to the down position, and no amount of force can push any of them into the up position, except for the switch which corresponds to Earth, which moves up and down freely. When the Earth switch is down, the suffering to prosperity ratio changes to 1 to 1.
