Quixz

Translate Voice (Joke)

Item #: SCP-5XXX-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Should SCP-5XXX-J begin to hinder daily Foundational procedures, all affected members of staff should be immediately quarantined until the effects of SCP-5XXX-J subside. Due to the prevalence of SCP-5XXX-J, the medical wing is actively developing a cure. SCP-5XXX-J is currently acceptably dormant.

Description: SCP-5XXX-J is a virus that infects part of the cerebrum, modifying all signals sent to the larynx. As a result, the infected lose their individuality of voice, only being able to speak using the voice of Google Translate.

It is currently unknown how SCP-5XXX-J propagates.

SCP-5XXX-J was found on Foundation soil when Dr. Borcoli suddenly refused to speak, claiming a case of laryngitis. However, an inspection in the medical bay found no such case. When Dr. Borcoli was compelled to speak, quarantine was considered, but given that he could still communicate through other means, she was not.

SCP-5XXX-J then infected several of Dr. Borcoli's contacts and many D-class personnel. Several languages could be heard spoken simultaneously during lunch hour, resulting in nobody quite understanding anyone else. Quarantine was reconsidered, but given that the affected could simply be assigned to work with others who spoke their native tongue, quarantine was again denied.

The behaviour of SCP-5XXX-J itself is erratic. It is capable of manipulating speech, causing the infected to speak when they do not mean to. However, the pathogen seems to only be able to induce the infected to say "I lost the game". In turn, when this is heard by nearby hosts, they will reply back in a large chant of "I lost the game" in several languages. This has proven disruptive during sleeping hours.

One instance of SCP-5XXX-J is known to be able to induce their host to recite "We are number one", a song taken from the children's show Lazytown. The host, known as SCP-5XXX-J-A has reported that he himself has never heard the song until he heard himself reciting it. SCP-5XXX-J-A has been scheduled for termination and autopsy/dissection.

Addendum 5-XXX-J 1: Following the events of 21005XXX-J, all staff members infected or near infected personnel have been given earmuffs to wear while attempting to sleep.

Dying Light

Light overflow to the absorption bars due to SCP-5XXX assuming the form of a military searchlight.

Item #: SCP-5XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5XXX is placed in a darkened cubic chamber containing 8 cubic meters of volume. The walls must be able to resist fire, electricity, extreme gravitational fields, and temperatures of up to 1,000 ^oC. One square window is to be placed at the midpoint of the highest edge of the room measuring 10 cm by 10 cm. Carbon tube-lined bars are to be placed across this window to absorb and reduce the effect of its light. There must be no door. One sensor must observe the strength of the light coming from the window. If the walls break, one to four D-class personnel must don fire suits and convince SCP-5XXX to revert to a less bright form.

Description: SCP-5XXX is a light-emitting entity capable of assuming many different forms, including but not limited to:

• a laser pointer
• a lamp
• a flashlight
• a fireplace
• a camera (dysfunctional)
• a stage light
• a military searchlight
• a star (see Addendum)

SCP-5XXX can switch between these forms rapidly, but cannot maintain a single form for more than one month. It appears to be sentient, bordering on sapience. Any living tissue which comes in direct contact with the light emitted by SCP-5XXX ages more rapidly than usual in direct relation to the brightness of the light.

SCP-5XXX was discovered and contained after the cadaver of a 15-year-old woman was discovered after only half an hour in a tanning bed. She was then 108.

Request to use SCP-5XXX for study of soil age in relation to plant growth. -Foundation Biologist Arroct. 10 June
Request denied as SCP-5XXX is currently a laser pointer. -O5 Command
Request to use SCP-5XXX for study of soil age in relation to plant growth. -Foundation Biologist Arroct. 10 July
Request denied as SCP-5XXX is currently a neutron star. -O5 Command
Request to use SCP-5XXX for study of soil age in relation to plant growth. -Foundation Biologist Arroct. 10 August
Request granted. If SCP-5XXX changes its form, immediately notify higher command. -O5 Command
Note: Skeletal remains matching the skeletal system of Biologist Arroct were found alongside SCP-5XXX, which had morphed into a disco ball.
Addendum:

Upper Bounds on Reality

Item #: SCP-####

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-####-1 is to be isolated from organic life and machine SCPs in a standard holding cell, which is itself to be contained inside a room with at least thirty meters of distance between the inner and outer walls. The inner room may only contain exceedingly simple forms of entertainment and the larger room must be empty. Sustenance is to be provided according to Foundation meal schedules.

SCP-####-2 is to remain closed and away from all staff at all times. Currently, it is located in a locked compartment in SCP-####-1's observation room.

SCP-####-3 must be kept in the exact center of an empty 20m x 20m x 20m room.

SCP-####-4 may only be handled by a minimal number of personnel who have had their olfactory, gustatory, and auditory nerves surgically severed. Personnel should also close their eyes whenever not in use. No measuring devices or sensors should be placed within its radius unless testing is underway.

The region containing SCP-####-5 must be made inaccessible and ideally unobservable. Creating an artificial mountain has been suggested, but due to its current location and the Foundation's lack of understanding of it, this option is not viable.

Because SCP-####-6's existence or inexistence has no bearing on anything of significance, it can be disregarded regardless of its possible existence.

Description: SCP-#### consists of four five six five confirmed and one debatable entities that place upper bounds on their respective components of reality within their radii.

Component	Entity	Status
Union	SCP-####-1 is a human of Scottish origin, previously having the name off Hans Fergusson. SCP-####-1 possesses claw-like fingers which appear to most observers as "demonic", although they have been described as "feline". In addition, SCP-####-1 is drawn to the entity within a kilometer radius displaying the most Union. Its physical capabilities and hostility are enhanced as the Union in this radius rises, and it shows a tendency to disassemble all objects within a 30m radius of the object it is drawn to.	Contained
Coherence	SCP-####-2 is a large book titled "Gathering Dragons: Volume -III". SCP-####-2 itself along with any objects in a 500m radius will lose comprehensibility proportional to the page to which the book is opened. Observed effects include adjustments of shape and function and the obfuscation of language.	Contained
Progression	SCP-####-3 is a longbow with an effect radius of 10m. The amount of time dilation observed is proportional to the amount of motion observed within its radius. The Foundation's initial concerns that this effect would extrapolate down to zero motion were mistaken.	Contained
Perception	SCP-####-4 is an everyday chicken (Gallus gallus). Attempts to exceed its upper bound on Perception within its radius cause hallucinations in all five senses. It is also possible for SCP-####-4 to force sensory deprivation for all nearby observers if a great excess of Perception is occurring in range of it. Perceptive machines, such as measuring tools and sensors, also occupy the Perception capacity; in fact, they are prioritizes over human perception.	Contained
Distinction	SCP-####-5 is an unidentified entity at the approximate location of the North Pole. All entities in its radius are slowly reconfigured to be identical. Due to its location, it reduces the Distinction between snow and air, blanketing its approximate location in fog.	Uncontained
Existence	SCP-####-6 is an unconfirmed, unobserved entity which would theoretically place an upper bound on Existence, removing entities from existence should there be too many present. All Foundation models show that SCP-####-6 would be located in the center of the Earth, if it exists; however, the Foundation has been unable to locate it, nor determine its composition.	Existence dubious