R3negade X (SCP-TACO)

Item Number: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard object containment unit in site 25. Access is to be restricted to personnel of level 2 clearance or higher. Update 12-10-2003: As of Incident XXXX-XX-X, testing with D-class is no longer permitted.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a taco consisting of cheese, lettuce, onions, salsa, and an unidentified meat. SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties manifest when an individual POI-XXXX holds it, at which point it will appear to anyone not holding it as a valid form of identification. The type of identification, as well as the exact information, varies based on the circumstances of use and the holder’s intent.

Recovery: SCP-XXXX was recovered on 9-28-2011, at the house of ███████ ████████, (Hereafter designated POI-XXXX) after the Foundation received multiple reports of a man using a drivers license that “smelled funny” to get into multiple clubs. MTF-Omicron-23 (Florida Men) were sent in to quietly remove the item, replace it with an identical, non-anomalous taco, and apply class-g amnestics to its previous owner. Unfortunately, POI-XXXX had been drinking heavily the night before, and the high blood-alcohol content interfered with the amnestics. A few days later, POI-XXXX attempted to show SCP-XXXX to police officers when they checked on him after he had fallen asleep in line at T███ B███. POI-XXXX was later arrested and charged with DUI.

+ Experiment Log XXXX

Experiment-XXXX-1

Subject: D-4687

Task: Hold SCP-XXXX in front of five (5) researchers and three (3) cameras.

Result: SCP-XXXX appears unchanged.

Notes: Hm, perhaps it only works for certain individuals? Have the researchers pass it around, let's try it again. - Dr. Xavier

After several minutes, during which SCP-XXXX was held by approximately 15 individuals from site 25, including three D-class personnel, it was hypothisized that SCP-XXXX would only work when held by POI-XXXX. MTF-Omicron-23 was dispatched to retrieve him.

Experiment-XXXX-2

Subject: POI-XXXX

Task: Hold SCP-XXXX in front of five (5) researchers and three (3) cameras.

Result: SCP-XXXX appears as POI-XXXX's drivers license to all observing personnel and cameras.

Notes: Alright, now we're getting somewhere. This helps us establish a baseline of the item's abilities, as well as establishes under what conditions it works. We'll need to keep POI-XXXX in custody for a while, requesting he be reclassified as SCP-XXXX-1. - Dr. Xavier.

Note: Henceforth, each experiment will have three (3) cameras of different make and model and one subject (a D-class Personnel) in the testing chamber with POI-XXXX

Experiment XXXX-03

Subject: D-4687

Task: Remove all of the meat from SCP-XXXX and hold it up to three researchers and two cameras.

Result: Same as above, but without the age information.

Notes: Interesting. I wonder what happens if we remove other components from it? - Dr. Xavier.

Experiment XXXX-04

Subject: D-4687

Task: Replace half of the meat in SCP-XXXX.

Result: Age information returns, but as a single-digit number.

Experiment XXXX-07

Subject: D-4687

Task: Remove lettuce from SCP-XXXX.

Result: Identifying photo is missing.

Experiment XXXX-9

Subject: D-4687

Task: Remove onions from SCP-XXXX

Result: Holder's name is missing.

Experiment XXXX-10

Subject: D-4687

Task: Add different onions than were originally found in SCP-XXXX

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Note: Testing by replacement of ingredients in SCP-XXXX suspended indefinitely. Send someone to clean that up and get me a new D-class. - Dr. Xavier.

Experiment XXXX-11

Subject: D-1287

Task: Remove as much salsa as possible from SCP-XXXX.

Result: SCP-XXXX appeared as D-1287s drivers license, but with the gender information removed.

Experiment XXXX-12

Subject: D-1287

Task: Replace 30% of the salsa in SCP-XXXX

Result: SCP-XXXXs gender information now reads “purple.”

Experiment XXXX-19

Subject: D-1287

Task: Remove all of the cheese in SCP-XXXX

Result: SCP-XXXX is missing date of birth information.

+ Addendum: Incident Log XXXX-XX-X

On 12-10-2003, as part of an experiment, POI-XXXX was instructed to use SCP-XXXX to open one of the Foundation’s electronic keycard locks. POI-XXXX was successful, and subsequently ran out of the door into the hallway, knocking out a security guard in the process, and managed to evade cameras.

Dr. Xavior immediately declared a containment breach, initiated a site lockdown, and ordered all personnel on site to report to the cafeteria, with their security badges displayed on their shirts in such a way that they are not making contact with their skin.

Dr. Xavier went to collect his identification from his office, and upon leaving to the cafeteria to reconvene with the rest of the staff, he encountered POI-XXXX, disguised as a Foundation doctor. The following exchange was caught on camera.

Dr. Xavier: Hey! Why aren’t you in the cafeteria with everyone else?

POI-XXXX: Er, I, uh - I got lost! Yeah, it’s a big building, man, can hardly tell one room from another, ya know?

Dr. Xavier: Who are you, anyways? I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.

POI-XXXX I’m, uh… [POI-XXXX fumbles around in his labcoat pockets, before producing SCP-XXXX] Here, I have my ID with me. [SCP-XXXX manifests as a Foundation doctor ID card with a large bite taken out of the top-right corner.]

Dr. Xavier: [Reading the ID card] “Dr…DeClasse.” Uh-huh…tell me, “Dr.,” why does your ID badge have a bite taken out of the corner?

POI-XXXX Um, I, um, well - I can explain -

Dr. Xavier: I’m sure you can. [Dr. Xavier then produces a stun gun from his pockets and proceeds to render POI-XXXX unconscious. He puts his stun gun away, collects SCP-XXXX, and radios the all-clear to site personnel.]

Note: I’m sending this report to the higher-ups, clearly POI testing needs to either stop, or be better regulated. I’m also requesting that the guard responsible for letting POI-XXXX escape be docked wages, demoted, and slapped, preferably by me. - Dr. Xavier.