Rabid Cactus

Addendum 3651.4: Interview Log

+ Interview Log 3651-X

Date: July 18th, 2016

Interviewee: SCP-3651-1

Interviewer: Dr. ████

Location: Greece, Athens

Additional Information: Using random sampling methods, on-site Foundation personnel selected an instance of SCP-3651-1 for interviewing. The subject in question was an Australian male of mesomorphic physique, who identified himself as twenty-seven-year-old "William Burns". Coincidentally, an individual of the same name, age, and physical description was reported missing to the Greece Tourism Organization on June 25th, 2015.

For the duration of the interview, SCP-3651-1 refused to wear clothing, despite numerous urges from Dr. ████.

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. ████ and SCP-3651-1 sit at opposing ends of a folding table roughly twenty (20) meters from the exterior of the Temple of Aphrodite Urania.

Dr. ████: [Visibly uncomfortable] "Could you state your name, please?"

SCP-3651-1: "Aye aye, the name's Will Burns - as Ozzy as they come, God bless the Queen and all."

Dr. ████: "…Alright then. Mr. Burns, could you tell us where you've been the past year?"

SCP-3651-1: "Me? Oh I've just been kicking it down here in the land of the nuddy, getting it on with a couple of root rats, really my vacation so far has shaped up to be-"

Dr. ████: [Interrupting] "Mr. Burns."

SCP-3651-1: "-Oh, yeah?"

Dr. ████: "Could you please not… [gestures] do that during the interview?"

SCP-3651-1: [Ceasing self-administered genitalia stimulation] "Ah, no worries. So-"

Dr. ████: [Interrupting] "I think we get the gist of transpired events. I'd like to ask you another question."

SCP-3651-1: "Okay then, shoot."

Dr. ████: [Places photograph on table] "Could you tell us about this individual?"

SCP-3651-1: [Studies photograph closely] "Must say, it rings a bell. Who is it?"

Dr. ████: "Maryanne Burns. Your wife. She's been searching for you for a year."

SCP-3651-1: [Demeanor becomes agitated] "Maryanne…"

SCP-3651-1 is silent for several seconds, appears transfixed on the presented photograph

Dr. ████: Mr. Burns?

SCP-3651-1: [Diverts attention from photograph] That's my name.

Dr. ████: Do you-

SCP-3651-1: Let me tell you, it's awfully stuffy out here. You sure you don't want to perhaps shed some of those clothes?

Dr. ████: Okay, we're done here.