Per 
The primary location for my drafts and ideas.
- Tab 1: The Talent Scout
- Tab 2: Tale Ideas/Concepts
- Tab 3 SCP Ideas/Concepts
- Tab 4: Boxcar City Rough Draft
- Tab 5: Amnesthologist tale (title needed)
- Tab 6: Untitled SCP draft
- Tab 7: SCP Idea: Not My Paw-blem
- Tab 8: SCP Idea, Everlasting Pun-ishment
- Tab 9: Exquisite Corpse Contest Stuff
Premise: A Foundation recruiter interviews a serial killer with a genius-level intellect who is in prison awaiting execution.
When a researcher's wife dies in the line of duty, he attempts to obtain the non-redacted version of her final letter to him.
A convicted serial killer with a genius-level intellect who is sentenced to death is recruited by the Foundation. (Possible Name: Quentin Aguilar)
A day in the life of a Foundation amnestic doctor (I was going to use amnesiologist, but apparently that's also a term for date rapist, so…) amnaesthesiologist? Amnesthologist?
A tale following the flagship in the Foundation's fleet of vessels, equipped to locate, contain, and transport any marine anomalies. Possible Names: SCPS Sentinel, SCPS Deliverance, SCPS Remembrance.
Boxcar City: see tab 4 for draft. To-do: Description of incident B, insert boxcar image, finish formatting,
Lovely Blood: Pathogen? Disease? Subjects become mesmerized by the sight of infected subjects' blood. Infected subjects also affected. Can be addictive, lead infected subjects to habitual self harm.
Grandmother Doll: taken?
Pickled Brains: taken?
Black Diamond or Mount Knot: Ski trail with odd dimensional properties.
DIY WMD: taken?
The Rule of Threes: meh.
Untitled: An entity that takes the form of a child's corpse that resides in a dead tree. It will periodically appear to people in hallucinations and torment them with visions of past crimes, serious or minor. Its victims are driven insane with remorse, then lured to the tree, and coerced into committing suicide by hanging themselves from the tree.
Target Viral Marketing: A literal virus that causes infected subjects to take part in infomercials whenever they run into everyday problems.
SCP-XXXX prior to containment.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be sealed in a standard large containment chamber and remain under constant armed guard. Both entrances to SCP-XXXX are to remain shut and locked, unless an expedition is underway, in which case at least one entrance is to remain open until the expedition team has returned. Expeditions into SCP-XXXX for the purposes of experimentation are permitted with the approval of the supervising researcher, providing efforts are made to remain covert and avoid needlessly disrupting the inhabitants of the anomaly. Expeditions into SCP-XXXX must be approved by a security official with Level 4 clearance or higher, and must be accompanied by a fully armed security team. All members of the expedition must submit to a thorough physical and psychological examination before and after entering the anomaly. Any personnel exhibiting major discrepancies in either category are to be detained immediately for further observation.
A small, covert observation team is to be stationed in Hutchinson, Kansas. For security reasons, members of the team are to remain unaware of the existence of SCP-XXXX and must be briefed on and strictly adhere to the Hutchinson Protocol. Only members of the observation team and personnel with Level 4 security clearance or above are to be granted access to the full version of this protocol.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a red DSS&A Railway boxcar of the 18000 series. It possesses a steel underframe and painted wooden sides. Despite minor damage due to age, its wheels are still operable and both cargo doors are equipped with functioning locks.
When a person or object enters from one side of boxcar and exits through the opposite side, they emerge into a pocket dimension (A/N:more accurate term?) containing an exact, functioning duplicate of the city of Hutchinson, Kansas. The duplicate is identical to the city in every respect, including the behavior of the inhabitants, who display no awareness that they exist within a pocket dimension. The point of emergence into the pocket dimension is a boxcar identical to SCP-XXXX, located in a disused train yard to the southeast of the city. All attempts to move the boxcar from its position or damage it in any way have proved fruitless, and the object is imperceptible to occupants of the pocket dimension. When instructed to attempt to interact with it, they simply pass through it, as if it is not there.
There is an invisible barrier with a radius of approximately 12.76 km extending from entrance point, encompassing the entire city of Hutchinson as well as Sand Hills State Park and much of the surrounding area. The barrier cannot be breached by any means that originate from outside SCP-XXXX, however occupants of the pocket dimension are unable to perceive the barrier and are able to pass through it without difficulty. Upon crossing the barrier, the subject appears to cease to exist, however the subject remains conscious and is able to return to the pocket dimension, unaware that anything unusual has occurred. Instruments from outside the anomaly are incapable of measuring anything beyond the barrier, which seems to indicate that the barrier marks the limits of the pocket dimension. It is also worth noting that the anomaly can recreate objects and entities that do not originate from within the area of the pocket dimension, as evidenced by the planes that can be regularly observed arriving and departing from Hutchinson Airport.
The pocket dimension occupies the same temporal trajectory (A/N:need technical term?) as the actual city, meaning that events that occur in Hutchinson occur simultaneously within the anomaly. The timeline of the pocket dimension remains identical to that of the real city unless acted upon by external stimuli. Such alterations can range in scale from inconsequential to potentially catastrophic, however they are typically realistic and consistent with predicted outcomes. Altered timelines persist while one or both entrances to SCP-XXXX are open, however if both entrances are closed and locked, the pocket universe will realign with the unaltered temporal trajectory. Foreign objects within the anomaly will usually be unaffected by the realignment, however the inhabitants of the pocket dimension will perceive the object as appearing out of nowhere, often causing alarm. There is also the danger that the realignment will cause an object to materialize in a space occupied by a foreign object or person, resulting in [REDACTED].
Date: ██/██/██
Purpose of Experiment: To determine if the inhabitants of SCP-XXXX retain the memories of their counterparts in reality.
Procedure: A Foundation operative posing as a journalist made contact with a resident of Hutchinson and arranged to meet them for an interview the next day. The operative then returned to Site ██ and entered SCP-XXXX and waited at the agreed-upon meeting place.
Results: The subject's duplicate arrived at the appointed time (within an acceptable margin of error). The subject displayed a clear recollection of the conversation the previous day, and proceeded to participate in the interview.
Date: ██/██/██
Purpose of Experiment: To determine if alterations made to the timeline of SCP-XXXX impact the
course of events in reality.
Procedure: An undercover Foundation operative entered SCP-XXXX and made an appointment with a hair salon for the following week. The operative then exited SCP-XXXX, closing both entrances.
Results: When contacted, the real hair salon in Hutchinson had no record of the appointment. Interestingly, when the operative reentered SCP-XXXX the duplicate salon had no record of the appointment either. This led to the inadvertent discovery of SCP-XXXX's realignment effect.
Note: This property could potentially make SCP-XXXX a very useful tool in experimentation with alternate timelines. Recommend establishing a permanent observation post in Hutchinson, to monitor the city's activity and provide a baseline for comparison. -Dr. I
Date: ██/██/██
Purpose of Experiment: To determine if alterations to the timeline of SCP-XXXX affect subjects originating outside the radius of the anomaly.
Procedure: A Foundation helicopter is stationed at McConnell Air Force Base, approximately 75 km away from Hutchinson. The helicopter pilot is instructed to await a signal, then rendezvous with Foundation operatives at Hutchinson Airport to receive a package, then deliver it back to the Air Force Base. The pilot has no knowledge of SCP-XXXX or its properties, and is informed that this is part of a training exercise. A team of operatives is sent into SCP-XXXX with the package and transmits the signal.
Results: The signal was not received by the real pilot, however after a little over an hour had passed a duplicate of the helicopter appeared in the pocket dimension and landed at the airport. The duplicate of the pilot made contact with the Foundation operatives and exhibited comprehensive knowledge of her assigned task. The package was received without major incident, however due to an unfortunate oversight the package originated from outside SCP-XXXX and thus was not able to pass through the invisible barrier, causing extreme structural damage to the helicopter as it tried to exit the pocket dimension. The fate of the duplicate pilot is unknown, however SCP-XXXX was realigned with the unaltered timeline after the experiment was concluded. The real pilot reported no abnormal activity.
The incident in question took place during an experiment in which a team of Foundation operatives, designated Field Team, entered SCP-XXXX and established communication with a team stationed at the covert observation post located in Hutchinson, designated Observation Team, in order to more accurately measure the differences in SCP-XXXX's timeline. The experiment was interrupted shortly after the field team entered the anomaly. The following is an excerpt from the mission's audio logs.
Observation Team: Field Team, please hold. We're seeing some unusual activity here. Over.
Field Team: Copy that, holding. What's the problem Observation Team, over?
Observation Team: No problem, Field Team. What's the hold-up, over?
(overlapping)
Observation Team: …multiple instances manifesting outside the anomaly, over.Field Team: Um, could you repeat that, Observation Team? We're experiencing some sort of interference, over.
Observation Team: That's strange, no interference on this end. Repeat, what's…
Observation Team: What the- whose voice is that? This is a secure channel.
Field Team: Observation Team, are you hearing this? Over.
Observation Team: Hearing what, Field Team? Over.
Observation Team: I repeat, this is a secure channel. Identify yourself immediately.
Note: In hindsight, perhaps we should have anticipated this kind of problem. After we established an observation post in Hutchinson, the anomaly created a duplicate of that post and its personnel in SCP-XXXX, who were understandably alarmed to see an unidentified team of Foundation agents apparently materialize out of nowhere. Some revisions to the operating procedure of the Hutchinson post may be in order. In the meantime, we may have stumbled across a tremendous windfall. If we could find a way to collaborate with Foundation duplicates within SCP-XXXX, it could open up potentially limitless avenues for experimentation. -Dr. I
Message from O5-██
Dr. I,
You are to cease all attempts at communication with the anomalous iteration of the Foundation within SCP-XXXX immediately. While your enthusiasm to explore the full potential of this object is admirable, the situation presents too great of a risk, and you never should have made contact with an unknown faction without consulting the O5 council. We do not have the capability to contend with an organization possessing power and resources equivalent to our own. You will not face disciplinary action, however jurisdiction of SCP-XXXX has be reassigned to Security Chief L, and you are expected to comply with all of his decisions.
The incident in question took place during an expedition into SCP-XXXX examining the properties of the barrier surrounding the anomaly. At one point in the mission, Researcher B was temporarily separated from the rest of the team. Upon rejoining the team, Researcher B exhibited erratic behavior, refusing to directly answer questions about where he had been and making numerous attempts to cut the experiment short and return to the entrance point. As the team grew more suspicious of Researcher B's behavior, he produced a concealed firearm, killed two members of the team, and proceeded to make a break for the entrance to the anomaly. He was intercepted by a security team and prevented from exiting the pocket dimension, however he managed to evade capture and escaped into the city. A search party was able to recover the bodies of the two deceased team members as well as the body of Researcher B, which was found in an abandoned mobile home not far from where he initially went missing. Forensic analysis confirmed he had been shot by the same firearm used to kill the other members of the team. No traces of the impostor were found. Following the incident, SCP-XXXX's security protocols were heightened on the recommendation of Security Chief L.
Note: I'm still not sure who made this thing, but now I think I know why. It's not just a simulation, it's a training ground. Whoever created this wanted to learn how to look like us, to act like us, to infiltrate us. And they got so goddamn good at it that there were still a few of them in there. But I think the fact that they stayed hidden is a good sign. It means they're afraid of us. They should be. They can stay in that box of theirs as long as they want. We'll be watching, and if they ever get sick of pretending to be human, we'll be out here waiting to greet them. -Security Chief L
Premise: a tale about a Foundation doctor specializing in amnestics.
Working with amnestics is more of an art than a science. Sometimes, most of the time actually, a certain unlucky someone needs help forgetting a very bad day. Those cases are simple. Dose them with enough Class B to wipe the last 24 hours, then send them on their way with a cover story and a lollipop. A trained monkey could do it. I mean, a trained monkey with access to highly classified drugs I suppose. And lollipops.
But some cases are a little more complicated. Simply removing a block of time won't do the trick, a more delicate touch is needed. That's when they call me in. I'm a top expert in a field of medicine that doesn't officially exist outside the Foundation. I measure out specific dosages, like an artist mixing paints on a palette. Instead of erasing all of a patient's memories of the past few days, we give them just a light enough dose to render certain spots a bit fuzzy, a bit pliant. Then we follow with some minor mental conditioning, to fill in the gaps with the story we want them to remember. No, that wasn't a gigantic indestructible lizard you saw rampaging through the street, just an abnormally large alligator. And those weren't heavily armed soldier in unmarked helicopters shooting at it, they were just some people from animal control. It works better than you'd think. Human beings are naturally inclined to forget things that upset them, especially if what they saw shouldn't be physically possible.
I try to think of it as an act of mercy. There's a reason that the Foundation keeps these things secret as well as secure. We protect humanity, not just from the things that can harm them, but from the things they can't understand. So I try to look at it as a form of therapy, instead of brainwashing.
It's not always like that though. Back when I was just a student, I worked on the team that developed the amnestics for SCP-231-7. It was an interesting challenge. We needed a dose strong enough to block out several days but that could be administered repeatedly without damaging the patient's mental state. Because, well, they needed her mental state intact. We didn't find out what the drugs were being used for until after the project concluded. The project supervisor, Dr. ████, they knew about it though. Once everything was said and done, they swallowed enough Class B to put a grizzly bear in a coma. An act of mercy in its own right, I suppose.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be sealed in a Standard Large Containment Chamber and remain under constant surveillance through listening devices and motion sensors. Visual contact with SCP-XXXX is prohibited unless deemed absolutely necessary. Any sightings of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be reported immediately, as well as any unprompted feelings of guilt or thoughts of suicide. Any individuals confirmed to be under the influence of SCP-XXXX are to be permitted to self-terminate, and provided the means to do so if necessary. Under no circumstances should affected individuals be permitted to expire through means other than self-termination. At the current time, containment of SCP-XXXX is partially reliant on the willing cooperation of SCP-XXXX-1. Every 30-60 days, one D-Class personnel is to be brought into the containment chamber and "fed" to SCP-XXXX. It is recommended but not required that the subject have a criminal record. In exchange, SCP-XXXX-1 is to refrain from manifesting outside of its containment chamber or influencing non-designated personnel. Any deviation from this arrangement is to be met with punishment, ranging from prolonged suspension of SCP-XXXX-1's feeding regimen or inflicting physical damage to SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a dead tree, covered in vines. A hollow at the base of the tree serves as the residence of a telepathic entity designated SCP-XXXX-1.
After a subject makes visual contact with SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX-1 will begin to appear periodically within their line of sight. Affected subjects will then be unable to stop looking at SCP-XXXX-1, either by turning their head or closing their eyes. While visual contact is maintained, subject will then be forced to relive memories of past wrongdoings. This will continue until line of sight is broken or the subject loses consciousness, causing SCP-XXXX-1 to disappear. The subject will then experience immense feelings of guilt in connection with these past wrongdoings, regardless of their objective severity, and are eventually compelled to return to SCP-XXXX and commit suicide, typically by hanging themselves with the vines, though other methods have been recorded. SCP-XXXX-1 will then appear, retrieve the cadaver, and drag it into SCP-XXXX. Subjects that are prevented from returning to SCP-XXXX will continue to exhibit severe suicidal tendencies and are highly resistant to rehabilitation. If they succeed in killing themselves away from SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX-1 will appear, take hold of the cadaver, and disappear with it. If subjects die from any means other than self-termination, [REDACTED] occurs.
Various testing has confirmed that when SCP-XXXX-1 appears in front of an affected subject it is tangibly present and can interact with its environment and be observed by other individuals. Individuals that are exposed to SCP-XXXX-1 but not SCP-XXXX do not exhibit the same suicidal tendencies, however the entity is still able to manifest within their line of sight, and so they should be treated as potential sources of further exposure. Images of SCP-XXXX or SCP-XXXX-1 do not carry the same effect, however viewing them is not advised, to limit the risk of a false sighting of SCP-XXXX-1.
Although it has never made an attempt to communicate, SCP-XXXX-1 is clearly sapient, comprehending and responding to commands and threats from Foundation personnel. Though it has not been definitively confirmed, there has been evidence to suggest that SCP-XXXX-1 possesses a degree of awareness of the thoughts and actions of those who have been exposed to it. Several security personnel at Site XX, where the object is currently contained, have expressed a belief that the entity is deliberately attempting to hide the full extent of its capabilities, and a request for a full overhaul of its containment measures is pending approval.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Physical instances of SCP-XXXX are to be kept in sealed envelopes or poster tubes and stored in a secure storage room at Site-XX. Digital instances of SCP-XXXX are to be saved within a secure database that cannot be accessed wirelessly. Transportation, when required, is to be carried out by a D-Class personnel escorted by at least one security personnel with Level 2 clearance or lower. Physical instances are not to be removed from their containers outside of testing conditions, and must be returned to their containers upon conclusion of experiments. Security personnel are authorized to use extreme force to ensure cooperation if necessary. Personnel with knowledge deemed essential to the Foundation are not permitted to directly view or interact with instances of SCP-XXXX under any circumstances. Suppliers of novelty décor will be monitored for physical instances of SCP-XXXX, and an automated search engine will scan the internet for digital instances.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a series of images depicting Felis catus specimens paired with humorous captions typically related to avoiding work or stress. Instances of SCP-XXXX take the form of posters conventionally used to decorate an office setting or, more recently, images on the internet. New instances, as well as duplicates of previously known instances, have appeared periodically since their discovery. Their source is undetermined.
Subjects that fully view instances of SCP-XXXX become unable to perceive anomalous objects or phenomena (footnote: Experimentation has determined that SCP-XXXX instances with the cat or the text partially obscured do not carry this effect). Affected subjects that observe an anomalous object will either perceive it as a mundane object with no anomalous properties, provide a rationalized explanation for any anomalies, no matter how inconsistent this explanation is with their previously perceived reality, or simply be unable to perceive the object's existence in any way. Subjects refuse to acknowledge any information on anomalous objects as factual, the same is true for individuals with prior knowledge of anomalous objects. SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects also apply to instances of SCP-XXXX itself, adding an extra degree of difficulty to detection and containment. It should be noted that approximately 20 percent of affected individuals seem to exhibit an unusually high enjoyment of, and desire to share or display, instances of SCP-XXXX. It is undetermined whether or not this is an anomalous effect of SCP-XXXX. So far, the effects of SCP-XXXX have proven irreversible, even following the application of amnestics.
Experiment XXXX-03
Subject: D-41200, female, aged 43. No discernible mental abnormalities.
Procedure: Subject was asked to observe a sequence of photographs, describe them, and then describe how they felt about the photographs.
Results: Subject's reaction to the first photograph, a non-anomalous picture of a Felis catus specimen, was unremarkable, describing it as "cute, I guess." Subject found the second photograph, an image of SCP-████, highly unsettling, and inquired as to the authenticity of the photograph. After viewing the third photograph, an instance of SCP-XXXX, the subject reported feeling considerably "cheered up." When asked to view the final photograph, an image of SCP-████, the subject became unfocused and requested the exercise to be discontinued. The request was denied and the instructions were repeated. When the subject finally complied with instructions, her descriptions of the image were vague and nonspecific, and she reported that the image didn't make her feel anything at all. When asked if she recalled what the second photograph she viewed depicted, she replied that she could not.
Experiment XXXX-05
Subject(s): D-38391, male, aged 20. D-29041, male, aged 34.
Procedure: D-38391 was exposed to SCP-XXXX, and then both subjects were asked to view SCP-1981 and discuss anything they perceived as out of the ordinary.
Results: As the anomalous properties of SCP-1981 began to manifest, D-29041 became increasingly unsettled while D-38391 remained impassive. When the viewing was concluded, D-38391 reported finding his partner's reactions a little perplexing but noticed nothing unusual about the video. When D-29041 pointed out the numerous unsettling occurrences in the video, D-38391 stated it was possible President Reagan had cut his face while shaving that morning, and may have misread the teleprompter once or twice. After D-29041 was exposed to SCP-XXXX, they concurred with this assessment. When the contradictions with their earlier statement were pointed out, they asserted that they had fabricated their observations to "mess with" D-38391.
Experiment XXXX-09
Subject: D-22216, male, aged 49. No discernible mental abnormalities.
Procedure: Subject was exposed to SCP-XXXX then instructed to read SCP-████'s case file aloud.
Results: Subject complied with instructions and recited the given text without any deviations. When asked for their thoughts on the text, the subject stated they believed it to be fictitious. Following this experiment, SCP-XXXX was discarded as a potential alternative to amnestics, since its properties did not always prevent affected subjects from recalling sensitive information.
Experiment XXXX-11
Subject: D-11087, male, aged 28. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, regularly experiences visual and auditory hallucinations.
Procedure: Subject was asked to describe his hallucinations before and after viewing an instance of SCP-XXXX.
Results: Subject still reported hallucinations after exposure to SCP-XXXX, but the nature of the hallucinations were much more mundane. Subject also exhibited an improved ability to differentiate between hallucination and reality, as well as a much calmer overall mental state.
Experiment XXXX-40
Subject(s): D-88638, female, aged 56. D-46463, female, aged 37.
Procedure: Subjects received their instructions individually prior to the experiment, and had no foreknowledge of the other's instructions. D-88638 was instructed to view an instance of SCP-XXXX and report how it made her feel. D-88638 was instructed not to allow D-46463 to view the photographs. Both subjects were then questioned about their participation in experiments with SCP objects during their time in the Foundations custody. D-46463 was instructed, upon conclusion of the questioning, to ask to view the photograph.
Results: D-88638 displayed a positive response to the instance of SCP-XXXX, describing the image as "pretty funny." During the proceeding period of questioning, D-46463 was able to accurately recall details of experiments she previously participated in. D-88638 registered disbelief towards D-46463's reported experiences, and recalled that the experiments she'd participated in were strange and seemingly pointless, but devoid of anomalous occurrences. Following the interview, D-46463 asked to view SCP-XXXX. D-88638 acquiesced and handed the image over. When asked why she disobeyed her given instructions, D-88638 stated she didn't believe to be "that big of a deal."
Note: This experiment, along with several variations, was performed extensively following Incident XXXX-A to determine if SCP-XXXX possessed any additional properties that may lead affected subjects to expose additional subjects. The results were largely inconclusive, with one fifth of subjects disobeying instructions not to view or allow others to view SCP-XXXX, however this could not be confirmed as an anomalous property. When threatened with force, all subjects complied with given instructions.
The following incident occurred on ██/██/19██ at Site-██. Following the conclusion of an experiment with SCP-XXXX, the test subject disobeyed the instructions to place the instance of SCP-XXXX back into its container. Upon exiting the testing chamber, the subject showed the photograph to the security escort, Pvt. H, and asked to take it back to their cell. Pvt. H denied this request, confiscated the photograph, and later displayed it next to his bunk in his on-site barracks, further exposing 29 additional security personnel. This ultimately resulted in a massive containment breach involving multiple SCPs and requiring reinforcements from Site-██ to reestablish containment. Once it was determined that SCP-XXXX was the cause of the containment breach, security protocols regarding experimentation were updated, and affected personnel were discharged from duty. Site Director █████ has requested that it be noted in this report that one of the affected personnel was Dr. Ignacio Cardinelli, a senior researcher who served for forty years as the Site's archive curator. Following the events of the incident, Dr. Cardinelli became convinced that the innumerable reports of anomalous activity he had overseen during his long and distinguished career with the Foundation were nothing more than an elaborate work of fiction. Dr. Cardinelli was discharged with honors, and it is the wish of Director █████ that the loss of this valued staff member serve as a reminder of the danger SCP-XXXX poses to the Foundation.
Amendment XXXX-01:
Notice from O-5: Following the events of Incident XXXX-A, as of ██/██/20██, ALL Foundation personnel are prohibited from sharing or displaying captioned images of cats, and are instructed to avoid viewing such images on social media wherever possible. Failure to comply will result in disciplinary action up to and including removal from duty.
Update: In response to the decrease in staff morale, a catalog of cat pictures deemed free of anomalous properties has been compiled, and can be freely accessed by any staff member.
Amendment XXXX-02: The proposal that SCP-XXXX be allowed to propagate on the internet with the hopes of facilitating the containment of information has been rejected, on the grounds that it would seriously impede the Foundations ability to detect new anomalies. Requests to expose captured members of hostile GoIs to SCP-XXXX following the extraction of all pertinent intelligence have been approved.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment unit equipped with soundproofed walls. Only D-Class personnel are permitted to communicate verbally with SCP-XXXX. All other communications must take place in written format.
Description: SCP-XXXX, formerly Junior Researcher R███ S████ of Site-██ is a Caucasian male, twenty-nine years of age. SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects occur whenever it makes a statement that is perceived to be an attempt at comedic wordplay. Individuals that hear and comprehend this statement experience a spontaneous painful physiological reaction. The severity of this reaction is apparently determined by the subjective quality of the wordplay, and the symptoms accumulate as the subject is exposed to consecutive statements. The effects occur whether or not SCP-XXXX intended its statement to be perceived as wordplay.
SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties began to manifest following an interview with SCP-████, who evidently took offense to a comment SCP-XXXX made about its name. SCP-XXXX reports that it is unable to refrain from engaging in wordplay, and is compelled to vocalize any examples that it comes up with.
Addendum: It was discovered after reviewing a recording of an interview with SCP-XXXX that while written transcripts of SCP-XXXX's do not carry it's anomalous effects, audio recordings do. Subsequently, several conversations with SCP-XXXX were recorded to be tested for potential military applications.
Containment Procedure Entry:
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be housed in the maximum security wing of Humanoid Containment Site -██. The object is to be kept in a medically induced coma, and its brain activity is to be monitored at all times through EEG. Should SCP-XXXX exhibit brain activity above a level of 3.8hz, or any other indications of having entered REM sleep, Site Command is to be notified immediately and a yellow-alert status is to be maintained until activity subsides. All on-site personnel are to carry handheld mirrors on their person at all times, for the purposes of identifying instances of SCP-XXXX-1.
Description Entry:
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a 7.5 by 5.5 by 3.5 in. metal box. It is to remain tightly coiled in on itself unless otherwise authorized. One bag of cut and peeled Bolthouse brand baby carrots is to remain in the box with Scp-XXXX except for when testing. SCP-XXXX is not to be plugged into any electrical outlets in the facility at any time.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a length of orange Coleman brand extension cord measuring 9 ft. in its dormant state. When not confined, SCP-XXXX will animate, travelling through a form of locomotion similar to a caterpillar's. The object will behave as though its socket end is its "face," occasionally holding it aloft and moving it as if looking around. When left unattended, SCP-XXXX will persistently seek out powered electrical outlets, inserting its plug when it locates one.
