RoAwesomeFace

"Ceauşescu's Foreign Monetary Policy"

Digital scan of SCP-XXXX.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a completely empty subterranean vault of Site-25 inside its original frame. Entering the vault is strictly prohibited. Requests for testing must be forwarded to the Level 3 head researcher, with a completed copy of Form XXXX-D annexed to the formal request.

Previous containment procedures rendered obsolete as of ██/██/20██. For current containment procedures, please see “Potential applications of SCP-XXXX” section below.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a sheet of A4 paper containing an altered photograph of former President of the Romanian Socialist Republic, Nicolae Ceauşescu, with “Comrade NICOLAE CEAUŞESCU/general secretary of the Romanian Communist Party/president of the Romanian Socialist Republic”¹ type-written below. The altered photograph depicts the ruler with disproportionally large ears. The page is surrounded by a red quadrant. The material which comprises SCP-XXXX, as well as the ink do not exhibit anomalous properties. SCP-XXXX was originally encased in an oak and glass picture frame which does not exhibit any anomalous properties.

The anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX manifest when it is placed inside of an enclosed space. Upon any object outlined in Document XXXX-L entering the previously mentioned space, it will be transported spatially in approx. 2 nanoseconds on soil situated between the borders of a randomly determined nation from which the national government of Romania has taken out external loans. The process has been measured to take less than 2 nanoseconds. Simultaneous to the phenomenon of spatial displacement, the foreign debt of the Romanian nation to the receiving country will have an amount of currency consistent with the current international value of the object subtracted from the official financial records of both nations. The same applies to international organizations, such as the International Monetary Fund (IMF). Bureaucrats and any person viewing the records do not appear to notice the discrepancy. It is currently unknown if the effect is cognitohazardous. Any object previously present in the space in which SCP-XXXX is inserted will also be spatially displaced, each object arriving in a different location.The anomalous characteristics of SCP-XXXX do not manifest when it is not stored inside a closed space.

The following is a partial list of objects which can be affected by the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX:

• Grain of any kind;
• Containers of gasoline, crude oil or natural gases;
• Coal;
• Food and edible substances of any kind;
• Livestock of any kind, including that not indigenous to Romania (e. g. camels);
• Dacia 1302 vehicles;
• Transylvanian Saxons and Banat Swabians (see Incident XXXX-12).

+ Testing logs

For a complete list of testing logs, please see Document XXXX-T.

Researcher: Dr. Oláh
Testing results: A bag of charcoal was thrown inside a room containing SCP-XXXX. Using high-speed cameras, it was determined that the spatial displacement occured in approx. 2 nanoseconds. The bag of charcoal was found inside the home of an accountant in ██████, Hungary. Class C amnestics were properly administered.
Subtracted debt: €██
Note: First assessment of SCP-XXXX’s properties.

Researcher: Dr. Andropov
Testing results: D-3534 was ordered to walk into a room containing SCP-XXXX while carrying a trolley containing 50 g of dirt, five (5) empty bottles, a toolbox and a modern metal detector. As soon as the subject’s feet resided completely inside the room, their clothes were transported to a Foundation facility in ████, ██, USA. Upon the trolley being fully contained inside the room, it and its contents were not displaced.
Subtracted debt: $█

Researcher: Dr. Bartholomew
Testing results: SCP-XXXX was placed inside of a silo containing ███ tonnes of wheat. All of the grain was displaced inside a field in central Australia.
Subtracted debt: $████

Researcher: Dr. Oláh
Testing results: SCP-XXXX was placed on an empty field outside Site-25. No anomalous properties were detected, regardless of several objects’ proximity to SCP-XXXX.
Subtracted debt: N/A
Note: Assessment of the limitations of the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX.

+ Retrieval log

SCP-XXXX was retrieved during a raid by the Department of State Security (DSS)² on the house of dissident artist A████████ M█████ on ██/██/1983. M█████ was arrested for producing ”subversive material” showing resentment towards the communist government. M█████ repeatedly said that he was “just helping out the national economy”.

Among a collection of non-anomalous pamphlets and caricatures, DSS agents found SCP-XXXX hung on a wall in an empty room in the artist’s house. Upon discovering the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX, agents of GRU Division “P” (Psychotronics) were called, as per standard DSS protocol. The object was transported to the URSS and stored in a small room inside of a warehouse in █████████, Armenian SSR. Upon the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991, SCP-XXXX, along with several other anomalous objects, was transferred to Foundation custody.

+ Incident XXXX-12

On ██/██/2000, Level-2 researcher K████ Hoffman, a Transylvanian Saxon from the county of Alba, Romania, was reported missing by Site-25 staff. After approximatively 3 hours, a call was made from a research facility in ███████, Germany, which reported that a researcher had went to a police station and made contact with embedded Foundation agents. After being transferred back to Site-25, it was reported that the foreign debt of Romania to Germany had been lowered by approx. 10000 Deutsche Marks³. Subsequent testing has shown that all Transylvanian Saxons and Banat Swabians born inside the Socialist Republic of Romania or modern Romania can be spatially displaced inside territory which previously comprised West Germany.

+ Potential applications of SCP-XXXX [Level 4 Clearance Required]

Esteemed O5-██,

Even though I am sure that you possess information about every SCP in containment, I would like to make an outline of SCP-XXXX and what I believe to be an adequate use of its anomalous properties for the benefit of the Foundation.

SCP-XXXX is photograph of communist dictator of Romania, Nicolae Ceauşescu, altered so that the ruler has very large ears. When it is placed inside a room, natural resources such as grain, coal and any sort of fuel, as well as food, clothes and other consumer goods get teleported to a randomly chosen nation from to which Romania has debt. I consider that placing such an object inside a storage room of an organization who opposes the Foundation’s goals would severely distrupt their activities.

I understand that you may have several objections to this plan. However I would like to preemptively counter some of them.

Firstly, the random nature of the displacement target chosen by SCP-XXXX ensures that the teleported items will have a negligible chance of being returned to enemy hands.

Secondly, among the testing of SCP-XXXX it has been observed that boxes comprised of a newly discovered alloy widely used by the Foundation do not suffer from the spatial displacement of SCP-XXXX’s effects. As such, transporting SCP-XXXX would not pose a major challenge. A small box opened by remote control could function as a sort of controlled explosive. The MTF member would throw the box inside of a room full of supplies, open the box remotely, close it remotely, and then retrieve it.

Lastly, MTF discipline would minimize risks associated with the object’s nature. Further testing has revealed that only weapons produced before 1990 and standard bullets are affected by SCP-XXXX. As such, there are very minor risks associated with an MTF team carrying SCP-XXXX.

In conclusion, I believe that creating a speciaized MTF team to make use of SCP-XXXX in distrupting enemy operations would greatly increase Foundation effectiveness against those who oppose it. I trusted the O5 Council to make a good decision regarding my suggestion.

Researcher I████ Oláh

Researcher I████ Oláh,

I have personally taken an interest in your suggestion. I have forwarded it to the rest of the Council.

Upon extensive deliberation, with a vote of 9:4, the O5 Council has determined that SCP-XXXX will be given to task force MTF-Nu-19 (“Breadline”). They are tasked with disrupting supply lines of enemy organizations. This knowledge is classified. However, as you have suggested the use of SCP-XXXX in Foundation operations, I figured you deserved this information and also a pay raise. You will be transferred to another SCP object in a few days.

Thank you very much for your loyal service and active interest in upholding the Foundation’s mission.

O5-██

Footnotes

1. Translated from Romanian: “Tovarăşul NICOLAE CEAUŞESCU/secretar general al Partidului Comunist Român/preşedintele Republicii Socialiste România”.

2. Romanian secret police from 1958 to 1989.

3. Official currency of West Germany (1948-1990) and of the Federal Republic of Germany (1990-2002).