The smartest man in the universe.

The Smartest Man In The Universe

SCP-5023

object class - Keter/Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedure- As of February second, twenty [Redacted]. See addendum SCP-5023-A. There is no known means of detaining, containing or controlling SCP-5023. Contact or interacting with SCP-5023 by any SCP personnel is discouraged though not fully preventable. SCP-5023 is not to be threatened or hindered in any way by any foundation personnel and is to be allowed complete and full autonomy of all foundation assets, classified information, resources and all other housed or contained SCP's. Under no circumstance should any personnel regardless of Foundation rank and clearance attempt to question or refuse any actions directed at them by SCP-5023.
As of February fourth 20 [Redacted] SCP-5023 has taken up semi permanent residence at foundation site [Redacted] within the main research laboratory. Though rarely present SCP-5023 may come and go from the complex as it chooses and again with full foundation cooperation to facilitate any and all requests by SPC-5023 including the use of, destruction of or interruption to any other contained SCP's regardless of classification or current security precepts at any foundation site.
Withholding information, lying to or attempts at misleading SCP-5023 is pointless and open communication with SCP-5023 is mandatory. Any and all personnel are to treat SCP-5023 with the highest regard, all security and containment protocols are to be ignored at the behest of SCP-5023 and any requests made by SCP-5023 to any personnel should be fulfilled to the best of their abilities as if the order were issued by a senior officer of the highest authority.
SCP-5023 is not, while present, to be referred to as SCP-5023 and is to be addresed as [Redacted] [Redacted] or Dr.[Redacted].
Due to SCP-5023's seemingly limitless knowledge of all things known and unknown as well as access to hyper advanced technologies hitherto unseen in this dimension it is the foundations current policy to cooperate in full with SCP-5023 as in not doing so would result in a possible forfeit of the extradimensional, outer spacial, temporal and supernatural protection SCP-5023 affords our planet.
Description - SCP-5023 appears to be a handsome, yet unkempt caucasian human male, though not verified, of roughly sixty five to seventy years of age, no approximate age known, with a height of 175 cm and a weight of 84 kg with shock white hair and wide, dark brown eyes, often wearing either a long brown trench coat or a white lab jacket. SCP-5023 possesses an advanced intellect far beyond the parameters of human genius as well as being in possession of, as of now, unknown advanced technology of seemingly his own design, some of these include [Redacted] as well as [Redacted] it should be noted that [redacted] is now contained at site [redacted] and is to be henceforth referred to as SCP-5023-2 see addendum SCP-5023-2.
Furthermore said technology seems to be somehow integrated into SCP-5023's very being and can manifest as needed seemingly from out of nowhere though usually items are produced from inside SPC-5023's clothing namely from the inside pocket of it's outer trench or lab coats respectively.
Scp-5023 or Dr.[redacted] is a multidimensional, multispacial, transtemporal explorer and scientist, his point of origin is currently unknown although it is known that he did not originate within the confines of our dimension, SCP-5023 arrived at undercover site [redacted] Pharmacy, Vancouver Canada, early February, twenty [redacted], (see attached Audio A-SCP-5023-1).
Upon entering undercover site [redacted] Pharmacy, SPC-5023 began to inspect the premises and in short time was discovered by an onsite undercover agent speaking directly into a CCTV camera mounted in the far eastern right most corner of Site [redacted] Pharmacy.

A-SCP-5023-1 Audio transcription.
SCP-5023: Hey, yeah! Hey right here! Open up whatever secret tunnel or elevator or what not you've got here! Hello!?Come you fucking! Bootleg Men in Black! It's important!
At this time an undercover level three agent (AU-3) approached SCP-5023 and while maintaining their cover attempted to question SCP-5023.
AU-3: Sir can I help you find something?
SCP-5023: It's Doctor, and yes I need access to your lab now!
AU-3: I'm afraid that's not possible the pharmacy is restricted to the Phamacist and staff only.
SCP-5023: Not that Lab you moron, the real fucking lab the one run by the, oh shit what were they called again the uh, um The SPCA! the PTA! Big brother I dont't care listen it's very important that I get to a working Faraday reactor asap!
AU-3: I'm sorry Sir but….
SCP-5023: It's doctor! And you know what? I really don't have time for this.
At that point SCP-5023 reached inside his coat and produced what appeared to be a baseball sized, silver colored orb and tossed it casually into the air where it remained hovering at near eye level.
SCP-5023: Drone ball, find me the entrance.
At that point the object proceeded to fly around the site at a high velocity in a sporadic pattern until finally stopping at a door marked employee restroom, it then began to emit a soft beeping noise.
SCP-5023: Thank you drone ball.
The object returned to SCP-5023 who promptly placed it back inside his coat.
AU-3: I'm sorry but that restroom is for employees only, if your not going to buy anything I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Sir.
SCP-5023: I said, it's Doctor! now if you'll excuse me.
SCP-5023 quickly side stepped AU-3 and proceeded to open the door, at which point AU-3 attempted to physically stop SPC-5023 from doing so by taking hold of SCP-5023's left arm it was at that time a bright flash could be seen after which AU-3 appeared to have vanished and was replaced by a common red Gallus gallus domesticus or a common farm chicken and SCP-5023 proceeded unhindered into the restroom where he began to inspect the facilities until he happened upon the activation switch for the hidden traction elevator into Site [redacted] proper.
SCP personnel at Site [redacted] responded in kind to a level two security breach all measures were observed and Security response unit epsilon seven "The Canucks." were dispatched promptly, however as observed through SCP CCTV cameras upon engaging SPC-5023 all security forces were neutralized in a matter of seconds by various non-lethal means some were rendered into different yet harmless forms akin to AU-3, others were made incorporeal and semi transparent unable to interact with solid matter but otherwise unharmed by the process and still others were seemingly teleported to random locations around Vancouver. SCP-5023 made his way quickly to the [redacted] where he began to work at a series of control panels located on [redacted] it was at this point that the Canadian geological society recorded a minor seismic anomaly centered around [redacted] Pharmacy. After approximately twelve minutes all anomalous seismic activity ceased and for an additional five minutes total silence was observed before the microphones on several cctv cameras recorded a dialogue between SCP-5023 and an unknown entity the following is a transcript of the recording.

Entity: So Dr.[Redacted] we meet again…
SCP-5023: The Pleasure is all yours Ergromulox, so what's the deal same as usual, here to…you know destroy the world or some shit like that?
Entity: As you know Doctor, I am the eater of existence, the dark devourer, bringer of madness, father to entropy I am the dark tide of nothingness that spills from the blackness of your nightmares, I am the…..
SCP-5023: Yeah, sorry to interrupt but, how about no!
At this point all onsite CCTV cameras record intermittent flashing lights followed by a ground shaking inhuman roar and the following dialogue before cutting out.
Entity: Curse you [Redacted]!!! I will return, I will not forget, I will not forgive, on every firmament, in all planes of existence I will have revenge!!!
SCP-5023: Blah blah blah, oooh soooo scary, I'm a big bad Multispacial quantum singularity gonna eat up all your reality….Douche bag. I don't get paid enough for this shit.
End Audio.

Addendum SCP-5023-A Interview with SCP-5023
Feb third twenty [redacted] an interview was conducted at site [Redacted] with the willing consent of SCP-5023 not shortly after the events of Feb second, the interviewer is site director Dr.Mandeep Singh, Security clearance Four.
Dr. Singh: First off I would like to thank you for taking the time to talk with us.
SCP-5023: I suppose it's the least I could do, you know besides saving all of reality.
Dr.Singh: Do you mind if I keep things as in line with proper protocol as possible considering the circumstances?
SCP-5023: Not at all Doc, you've got questions, so shoot.
Dr.Singh: Can you please state your name and title.
Scp-5023: Dr. [redacted] [redacted] first scion of the [redacted] and the[redacted] the bringer of [redacted] harald to [redacted] of the children of quintessence, last monarch of Ipthalonm and [redacted] Wizard of [redacted].
Dr. Singh: that's quite the handle you have Doctor.
SCP-5023: It's impossible to get custom letter heading.
Dr.Singh: Now can you please be so kind as to tell me why you breached our facility and attacked our personnel?
SCP-5023: Your people will be fine most of the effects should ware off in an hour or so and your Foundation as it were, is one of only four places on the planet that houses a [redacted] I needed it to stop an impending multidimensional threat, duh.
Dr.Singh: you might not be aware but our business is doing just that.
SCP-5023: Hardly, you guys couldn't even stop me, how the hell were you planning on dealing with….no; you know what just no, I agreed to this interview so you guys would know where you stand and as it is your most likely standing in a puddle of your own piss. Let me lay it out for you half-monkey, everything you know about here in your tiny slice of existence is a snow flake falling through a firestorm any moment reality could part, time can change and the snowflake could melt, I know what you guys think your doing and props to you all for trying but trust me pal if you knew what was really out there it would kill you just the knowledge would fucking kill you, I know you think you've seen some shit and by the standards of the average Joe you guys are kind of on the level but believe me when I say that tip of the iceberg doesn't even begin to describe what you think you know.
Dr. Singh: I apologize, I didn't mean to..
SCP-5023: Yes you did.
Dr. Singh: That's fair. So can you tell me where is it you come from?
SCP-5023: Earth.
Dr. Singh: Can you elaborate?
SCP-5023: I come from Earth not this one obviously but Earth none the less.
Dr. Singh: I'm not sure I understand?
SCP-5023: Big surprise, Listen Doc all you need to know is I'm here to help and all I ask is that you stay outta my way, do as your told, and occasionally share your toys.
Dr. Singh: I'm afraid that I do not have the authority to make such a call.
SCP-5023: Oh no? Well how about the guys watching this right now do they have the authority, that's right a-holes I can see you, oh and B.T.W. if any of those twelve snipers you've got aimed at me takes a shot they will die, not that I want to kill them but my personal reflecto shield will return their bullets directly into their brains.
Dr. Singh: I don't um…Sorry?
At that time a man in a dark suit enters the room back to the camera and all SCP CCTV camera images begin to distort however the audio remains for a few minutes before going to static.
Man: Thank you Dr.Singh that will be all. Hello [Redacted] do you know who I am?
SCP-5023: Of course I do. [redacted] the O5, right?
Audio ends.