Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the the risk SCP-XXXX poses in assisting and causing containment breaches as well as its value to groups of interest, SCP-XXXX is to be kept off site in an undisclosed location. To avoid the risk of an accidental activation SCP-XXXX's anomalous abilities should be triggered once every 20 months or earlier if deemed necessary by project manager █████████. For this task the project manager is to designate a handler who has shown a high degree of loyalty to the foundation. Said handler is to be monitored at all times and is to be outfitted with a surgically implanted tracker and explosive device which is set to automatically detonate if either tampering is detected or if it fails to detect an encrypted signal sent from foundation satellites . The handler is to be psychologically evaluated on a regular basis and are to be immediately replaced if they show any sympathies to groups of interest or a loss of faith in the foundation. The handler is not to be informed of the objects properties beyond what is necessary for their role. If they gain detailed knowledge of SCP-XXXX's properties they are to be administered amnestics and taken off the project.
Any testing with SCP-XXXX must be approved by the O5 council with the highest priority being placed on its safe recovery. During testing SCP-XXXX is only to be handled by trusted level 5 personnel who must be outfitted with surgically implanted GPS trackers and be administered a slow acting poison whose antidote is to be given once out of the vicinity of SCP-XXXX. After testing SCP-XXXX is to be returned its containment unit by the designated handler.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a take-out container of the variety commonly used in American Chinese Restaurants. On one of the sides the text "IN SOVIET RUSSIA CONTAINER TAKES YOU OUT" is written crudely in black permanent marker.
SCP-XXXX's anomalous ability is triggered when the object is opened either through the object's folded lid or through damaging the object to create a hole. SCP-XXXX's ability will then act on the sapient creature1 who caused the activation of the object whether directly or indirectly2. SCP-XXXX will teleport along with the subject the shortest distance to the outside of the area the subject perceives they are in. Any objects the subject perceives as on or part of their person will be teleported with them. SCP-XXXX will retain its relative position with the subject unless said space is occupied in which case it will manifest the shortest distance to an open space from said position. All damage to SCP-XXXX will be repaired upon its activation.
It's important to note that because the area exited by the use of SCP-XXXX is entirely defined by the subjects perceptions it is possible for said subject to deliberately define the dimensions of an area mentally for the purpose of using SCP-XXXX. This makes it is possible to utilize SCP-XXXX to travel seemingly unlimited distances instantaneously and with a high degree of precision. This makes SCP-XXXX incredibly useful as a means for long distance space travel, cross dimensional travel and █████████. This same property is also true for the objects perceived as on or part of the subjects person. However a majority of subjects have difficulty perceiving most large objects as fitting this criteria. A notable exception to this can be found in vehicles in which the subject shows familiarity in operating.
SCP-XXXX was discovered by a foundation high powered telescope while orbiting earth along with the body of Rachel Gusswig, mother of GoI Gamers Against Weed member Charles "squ1rminator" Gusswig (Aged 16). The item was later retrieved by foundation operatives during a routine trip to the international space station.
Addendum: The following are excepts of chat logs pertaining to SCP-XXXX
These logs were recovered from the PoI's computer found in their residence. Following the final log all activity has ceased under both the squ1rminator and the simple875212444414 alias.
