Per 
This is kinda my first Reddit post on the SCP Reddit, please give me your input I'm a bit nervous about this…
It was a box of chicken nuggets. The war had begun.
Dr. Eye was faithfully ready with his chicken from popeyes. He and the Kernel of Sandals looked into each other's eyes and found true love. To bad SCP-343 had to stop this. He came dashing out into the halls and set himself alight moments after with Premium Lavender Scented Aerosol, and a lighter. 343 holds his throat and gasps for air."Finally, we can be like one with the universe," said Kernal Sandals,"Nothing will stop our love!!" prepared to do the beautiful and passionate secks with Dr. Eye. 343 tries to get the liquid off gasping. He burned alive. Kernal Sandals and Dr. Eye honored his memory. Thier first child was named God.
It was then the box of chicken nuggets went bad. And Hitler woke up in his cell and was instantly possessed by satan, "DAMN IT!"He growled."Why are the walls so thick and hard…?"He growled. It was a sad, sad day. He dumped a gallon of lube on himself, and as this was happening, Devil Hitler worked at Pizza Hut.
Dr. Clef didn't like this. He wanted to be the Devil for Halloween and this was his holy establishment and christian business. Not some loser wannabe posers! Clef lured and captured Devil Hitler and threw him in his special dungeon of happiness. Devil Hitler got up and scratched at the door, but the metal hurt his hand," Damned metal…" he hissed. Then he sent the door to hell and was free.
Clef was impressed and hired him to take care of his elves, now he's making a lot of money in the slave trade. He's even written a get rich quick book. Years passed and a new generation was born of the soup:
SCP-999 became human, SCP-682 got pretty happy about that and thought he was hot. Together they became business rivals and worked for vogue magazine but 999 began to date Ryan Gosling and that made 682 jealous. He became war lord of the eastern region of canada and, with his nefound power, bought every single issue. He burned Ryan Gosling's mansion to the ground and began to sing, confessing his love an army of one thousand enslaved elves at his side from the Era of Clef," Smack that all on the floor, smack that, give me some more smack that—" But it was too late, 999 had bad news,"I'm sorry, 682, but… I'm dating 106 now." A white robbed 106 double flipped 682 off with his Red Yeezys and rode off in his Lamborghini. A mortified 682 grabbed one of Ables's swords and fell on it. Watching all this from afar gave SCP-096 the FIRE to live, he quit drugs and became the god-queen of Christian ministry.
Meanwhile…, On that same day, Dr. Pickles approached Janitor Poopnoggin… with a heartfelt confession, "I have terrible Vietnam flashbacks and might never recover… end my suffering…"
The janitor looked at Dr. Pickles and flipped her off. "I'm a janitor, not a psychiatrist. Now fuck off!"
He said.
Dr. Pickles was triggered by his rude behavior sent into a shuffle of images, this may have been a hallway, but to her this was a toilet-less trench. She began to squat… a chocolate mud monkey dropped on the floor for Michael to clean.
"Ack man what the fuck!?"
Dr. Pickles scuttled away like a crab."MIeeeeeeegh!!!"
Poopnoggin furiously waved his mop over his head, "Get back here you hooligan!!"
Iris was depressed. While the janitor left her unchecked. She listened to gothic nightcore music from Usher, laying in her bathtub, she hated being at the foundation"Goodbye cruel world." she died.
Everyone began to cry, the president visited her body and the bathtub she layed in and said, "She was so young…" and began to pray."SOUP!"
Dr. Light ran in to stop him, holding a cam recorder,"Stop right there! Who are you!?"
The president rose, arms open to her and said, "Who be I am is who I am is."
"I have evidence of the paranormal!!"Dr. Light said to him, "Your an anomaly!!"
The president got out his gun and shot her a lot of times, then he walked out of the room. On his way he found… chicken nuggets. It was the last of it's kind, like the dinosaurs.
"I don't know what to do…"
Yes, you do… they told him.
"No…. I have failed my country… I have no honor!"
//You haven't, there is still hope… // they tell him.
"Your right."
You're the greatest! Are you the greatest!?
"Yeah! I'm the greatest!!"
Then the place blew up and they all died.
THEE end.
