Per 
Hold your breath…
Count to ten…
Think of everything…
Your joys…
Your sins…
Your thoughts…
Everything…
Listen to my voice, can you hear me? Alright. You seem disturbed. You haven't met me, but you have heard of me rest assured. Don't worry! I won't harm you. I want to talk. Welcome D-0000, to my office. You're probably asking, why did I bring you here, why is everything so dark but yet so comfortable, and what is that smell? To answer the third question, that's me, I just had a jug of whiskey, but that's not the point. You may think that when I came to the foundation for the first time, I lived int the lap of luxury. Nope, I was a D-Class, just like you, more specifics, D-0000. Now, I'm here to answer a question you've had that the real founder himself, has considered classified to even the O5-Council. What is SCP-000? Sit back, let me tell you a story.
Well, I hope you enjoyed your time listening. Since it's the end of the month, you can go home free. I'm afraid you'll be given Class-A amnestics though since I told you this story… but what if I were to tell you, I traded out the amnestic vials, instead of Class-A, you'll be getting Class-C. So, when you're living your new life, in the far back of your memory, you'll remember this story.
It was nice talking to you.
Goodbye.
