scp-000000000

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DATE: 08 Apr 2021 14:19

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 are to be kept in a locker at Site-██ Site-33. Testing may only be authorized by personnel with at least Level 3 clearance. As of 07/01/20██, testing must be conducted weekly.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a pair of steel ball bearings, both measuring 2.5 centimeters in diameter and 67 grams in weight, hereafter referred to as SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX's main anomalous property manifests when the two instances are separated by force. During the process of separation, they show little resistance. However, after SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 are separated for a period exceeding 30 seconds, they will abruptly begin moving towards each other and eventually meet¹. To this day, nothing is known to be able to stop this process. Both SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 have resisted any attempts at destruction. Testing is available in Experiment Log XXXX below.

Experiment Log XXXX:

Experiment XXXX.1

Items used: 2 glass jars, with a small hole drilled in both of them.

Procedure: SCP-XXXX were separated and inserted into the jars

Results: SCP-XXXX began circling the outline of the jars until they reached the hole, exited the jar, and met up.

Experiment XXXX.2

Items used: 2 glass jars

Procedure: SCP-XXXX were separated and inserted into the jars

Results: SCP-XXXX repeated the behavior it displayed in Experiment XXXX.1, until it reached the top of the jar, when it began rapidly rotating and rebounding off the walls of the jar at high speed, until the jar shattered and the instances met up.

Experiment XXXX.3

Items used: SCP-184, large cardboard box, 2 miniature cameras, attached to SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2

Procedure: Miniature cameras were attached to both SCP-XXXX instances. SCP-184 was inserted into the cardboard box, and, after 24 hours, SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 were inserted.

Results: Camera footage showed both instances rolling around the box seemingly at random, tearing through any walls in their way. After 2 minutes of this action, they suddenly began gaining speed and rotating faster, destroying the miniature cameras in the process, until [REDACTED]. The box was destroyed, letting SCP-184 and SCP-XXXX be recontained.

Addendum XXXX.1: After a large-scale containment breach at Site-██, the on-site nuclear warhead got activated, leveling the site and sending SCP-XXXX flying in opposite directions. SCP-XXXX circled the Earth multiple times, eventually meeting back in Site-██. Their collision caused a ██ kiloton explosion, leveling the site and neutralizing at least ███ anomalies in containment and causing SCP-XXXX to be transferred to Site-33. After 12 hours, SCP-XXXX-1 was reported to vibrate against SCP-XXXX-2, causing heat buildup. Due to this, testing is now required weekly to keep SCP-XXXX from breaching containment by melting its containment chamber.

+ LEVEL 4/XXXX CLEARANCE REQUIRED

During the usual exploration of Timeline #6437832 by Soviet.aic of the Multi-U division, a file was found, documenting Timeline #6437832's version of SCP-XXXX. The document is mostly identical to the one attached above, except for a notable addition in Experiment Log XXXX. It details a cross-test of SCP-XXXX and an unknown paratechnology capable of trans-universal travel. The excerpt is available below.

Experiment XXXX.4
Items used: SCP-XXXX, the VK Universal Lapser
Experiment Description: The VK Universal Lapser, a device invented by Doctor VK of the Multi-U Department that allows to send an item through multiple universes was used in order to insert SCP-XXXX-2 into a different universe, while SCP-XXXX-1 remained in the baseline. This caused SCP-XXXX-1 to start rolling around near the spot SCP-XXXX-2 was before it got transferred. After a few seconds of this behaviour, it abruptly stopped and began rolling in circles on the ground, building up speed until it rapidly blasted off to the east. After 30 minutes, the high-speed camera recording the test was able to catch a glimpse of SCP-XXXX-1, which came from the west, supposedly after crossing the circumference of the Earth and returning to the place it started. SCP-XXXX-1 repeated this for about ██ laps, until the camera recording stopped catching glimpses of it. As of the writing of this document, it is assumed that SCP-XXXX is traversing the orbit of Jupiter, and will soon leave the Solar System.

Since the discovery of this document by Soviet.aic on 12/05/2021, Timeline #6437832 has been impossible to enter through the Multi-U Department's paratechnology. No further files have been sourced from the timeline either.

Footnotes

1. Despite this, SCP-XXXX instances do not seem to display any sort of magnetic field

2. Cadets were at the firing range when multiple misfires occurred resulting in their injuries.

3. Examples include NASA, European Space Agency, Italian Space Agency and the Netherlands Space Office.

4. Which vary between 100km and 1000km in diameter.

5. Based on records, manifestations most consistently appeared between Earth and Mars.

6. Theorized to be Ceres.

7. Wherein a volley of nuclear warheads is sent into outer space.

8. Foundation records does not seem to possess records related to this Group of Interest.

9. Note that this specific subject was not given amnestics as to preserve his identity as a mathematician

10. Further experimenting has determined that this time is unusually long.

11. Ulrich von Eichmann is best known for his work Starborn 'Gods', which argues that ancient cultures outside of Europe did not have the technological or mental capabilities to build their civilization, instead attributing them to ancient extraterrestrials.

12. Ulrich von Eichmann is best known for his work Starborn 'Gods', which argues that ancient cultures outside of Europe did not have the technological or mental capabilities to build their civilization, instead attributing them to ancient extraterrestrials.

13. Roman equivalent of the Greek Nemesis, goddess of revenge

14. Archaic name for the area that Ancient Egypt occupied

15. Referring to the Acoma Pueblo, a Native American people who has lived in the same area of New Mexico for thousands of years.

16. Aboriginal inhabitants of Easter Island

17. A little-known Peruvian culture responsible for the creation of the Nazca lines

18. Referring to the ancient city of Teotihuacan, known by the Maya as the 'Place of Reeds'.

19. Dr. Cortez states that they were sworn in on what may have been a copy of The Book of the Dead.

20. According to Dr. Cortez the knowledge appeared in his mind after SCP-3807 stopped talking, resulting in a migraine; transmission of this information via a memetic or telepathic vector should have been impossible, given the aforementioned defenses. Foundation researchers have been attempting to discern the source of this knowledge.

21. At this point, Dr. Cortez stated that there was a sudden series of gasps throughout the courtroom.

22. Dr. Cortez and Jr. Researcher Gardener both confirm that SCP-3807 was holding their head in their hands at this point.

23. Professor of Roman Antiquities, Oxford

24. A kasina from the Hopi Pueblo culture.

25. Note from Dr. Athenodora Cat: SCP-XXXX-1 seems to almost call SCP-3807 (I don't like having to refer to either of them as that) 'Typhon' here. Psuedo-Apollodorus in Bibliotheca 1.6.3 says that the Hellenic deities fled from Typhon, into Egypt and took the forms of animals, giving explanation for why the Egyptian gods had animal characteristics. In the process, Set was equated to Typhon by the Greeks, as both are entities dealing with chaos, destruction and storms— see Herodotos, Histories, 3.5 and Plutarch, Isis and Osiris, 351F.

26. Annotation from Dr. Athenodora Cat: Part of the surviving inscription of a seated statue of Imhotep currently in the Brooklyn Museum.

27. Annotation by Dr. Athenodora Cat: All plants known to have been used in Ancient Egypt for their medicinal properties— see Hasan, Nevineabd El-Gawad Ali. “Medicine in Ancient Egypt.” The Egyptian Journal of Internal Medicine 29, no. 1 (2017)

28. An antiquated name for Memphis, Egypt.

29. The subject apparently combined various titles and appellations of Imhotep from different sources and periods. “Imhotep the Great” is a generic way of referring to the deified Imhotep, appearing in many sources; “kind-hearted god” can be found, for example, in the Hymn to Imhotep from the temple of Ptah at Karnak (reproduced in Lichtheim, Ancient Egyptian Literature 3:104–7). “Greatest of Seers” (the ceremonial title of the high priest of the solar cult at Heliopolis), “builder,” “sculptor,” and “maker of stone vases” all appear on the base of a statue of King Djoser, one of the rare contemporary attestations of Imhotep the man—for which see Ray, Reflections of Osiris, 15–16; Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 31–32 (indeed, the transcript appears to closely follow the translation in Ray’s book here). Arguably conspicuous, however, is the absence of the “Son of Ptah” appellation.

30. As noted in Parker, Greek Gods Abroad, 51n73, 68, the use of the Greek theonym Asklepios to refer to Imhotep was not systematic, and did not necessarily indicate a full identification between the Greek figure and the Egyptian one: POxy. XI 1381 (= Maria Totti, Ausgewählte Texte der Isis- und Sarapis-Religion [Hildesheim: G. Olms, 1985], no. 15), for example, can use both names indiscriminately when recounting the god’s healing miracles, as well as referring to Asklepios/Imhotep as the son of Hephaistos/Ptah, rather than observing the well-established Greek notion of Apollon as Asklepios’ father.

At the same time, we have the Graeco-Roman cult at Deir el-Bahari, whose “Asklepios” appears to have had the Egyptian Imhotep underlying him, worshipped as he was together with another traditional deified sage of Egypt, Amenhotep the son of Hapu, as the principal gods of the site—yet this god is always referred to with the Greek theonym and described as the son of Phoibos (i.e., Apollon) in the Deir el-Bahari inscriptions, and furthermore, the Greek Asklepios’ daughter Hygieia is mentioned in some inscriptions from the site, possibly even forming a triad with the other two gods, indicating a close assimilation between Imhotep and Asklepios in this particular case (Łajtar, Deir el-Bahari in the Hellenistic and Roman Periods, 46–49; Parker, Greek Gods Abroad, 68n134—for more on Amenhotep the son of Hapu, see Wildung, Egyptian Saints, chap. 3). This complex picture is not atypical of cross-cultural religious interactions in the ancient world—to borrow the words from Parker, Greek Gods Abroad, 69, “a cheerful disorder prevails, which appears to confuse or embarrass nobody.”

31. Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 72.

32. Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 31–81.

33. Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 43–44, 55–56 (cf. p. 28 for the similar role of the king as mediator between the human and divine worlds).

34. The presentation to Ptah and Sekhmet is one of the stations of Imhotep’s life described in a calendar of feasts recorded in an inscription from the Ptolemaic period, probably corresponding to a story-cycle about his birth that is no longer extant—see Pinch, Handbook of Egyptian Mythology, 148–49; Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 50.

35. At present, the earliest known attestation of Imhotep’s divine father dates to the time of Ramesses II, in the thirteenth century BCE—see Allen, “Monument of Khaemwaset Honoring Imhotep,” 7–8.

36. Annotation by Dr. Athenodora Cat: Chapter 7 of Starborn 'Gods' focuses on the Descent Myth. As is said here, von Eichmann cherry-picks, and in lieu of using non-binary pronouns for the figure of Asushunamir (who is at the same time neither sex and both sexes), he refers to them exclusively using male pronouns. I realize the book was published in the 1970s, but still.

37. Note from Dr. Athenodora Cat: Aphrodite is considered to be a (for lack of a better term) 'descendant' of Inanna/Ishtar. A cult to Astarte, another 'descendant' of Ishtar, arrived in Greece on the island of Cythera/Kythera, and their cult grew into the worship of Aphrodite.

38. Taken from the Prose Edda's Gylfaginning, section XLI, with the dedication to Garmr and Bragi switched.

39. Note from Dr. Athenodora Cat: This is referring to pp.165-6 of Starborn 'Gods.' The 'golden wheels' motif is first attested in the Iliad (5.724, 18.375, etc.); the reference to "sparrows" appears to be based on Sappho fragment 1. As is typical of von Eichmann's writing style, the references to ancient evidence and sources are very vague, and not properly sourced.

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DATE: 08 Apr 2021 12:17

MAST

1. Worked on the List of Harmony's Works.

2. Worked on the summaries of unknown author articles.

3. Updated the includes for the hover enlarge components.

4. De-attributed the SCPs created by Harmony.

5. Worked on the Grand Crosslinking 4.

6. Tagging during 2021 JamCon.

7. Rewrote the on site Tagging Guide.

8. Tagging during the 6000 Contest.

9. Still tagging the 6000 Contest

10. Assigned as the new Wikiwalk sub-team captain.

11. Rewrote the internal staff guides used by Wikiwalk.

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Below is where I put staff stuff. Nothing to see here.

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DATE: 08 Apr 2021 12:05

Title 1

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Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-5934 is to be kept in a secure locker in the Secure Storage Area of Containment Site-177.
Testing can only be permitted after authorization by two Level 3 4 personnel.
All 5934-1 instances that did not originate from testing are to be terminated, preferably before Stage 2 of the anomalous effects.

Description:
SCP-5934 is a sheet of standard printer paper, with the word 'indeed' written in the middle. The paper itself is not anomalous, as it is still able to be cut, and can be written on. See test logs for more information. The anomalous properties of 5934 manifest when a entity who has seen, understood, and has spoken the word before reads the word 'indeed' on the paper. This entity is now designated 5934-1. The first stage, known as Stage 1, will render the entity incapable of speech, besides saying the word 'indeed'. After about 10-15 minutes, the subject will enter Stage 2. Stage 2 is a manifestation of the following symptoms. (These are the only symptoms that have appeared, there may be more.)

• (SYMPTOM 1) 5934-1's, hair, if any, will spontaneously combust. If the subject has no hair, subject's head will combust.
• (SYMPTOM 2) 5934-1 will begin repeating the word 'indeed' until they die of dehydration and/or hunger.
• (SYMPTOM 3) 5934-1 will return to normalcy for 5 minutes, then will have it's eyes turn purple.
• (SYMPTOM 4) 5934-1 will become immobile, and unable to do anything that involves moving muscles.
• (SYMPTOM 5) 5934-1 will return to normalcy.
• (SYMPTOM 6) 5934-1 will grow extra limbs, being mostly arms and legs, but in some cases will gain [DATA EXPUNGED], and proceed to attack all directly organic targets in sight. 5934-1 will gain unusual endurance, being able to lose many vital organs before dying.

5934 was recovered from a school in Kolkata, India, after an agent embedded in the school saw one of the children's hair catch on fire for no apparent reason. Another child read the paper, and began repeatedly saying "indeed,". The agent recovered it and folded the paper to prevent any more exposure.

The following logs are the most valuable ones, where many symptoms occurred for the first time.
TEST LOGS:

+ Open Logs

TEST 1:
Test Subject: D-17732, bald.
Procedure: Subject was instructed to approach the paper and read the 'indeed' on it verbally, then say 'Hello.'.
Results: Subject was unable to say hello. After 11 minutes, Symptom 1 manifested. Subject was killed by the fire.

TEST 7:
Test Subject: D-23134, mute.
Procedure: Subject was instructed to approach the paper and read the 'indeed' mentally.
Results: Subject seemed normal for 17 minutes, then had their eyes turn purple. Subject is currently in the medical ward for examination.

TEST 13:
Test Subject: D-48199, former bodybuilder.
Procedure: Subject was instructed to approach the paper and read the 'indeed' verbally.
Results: Stage 1 occurred, then after 10 minutes, Symptom 4 manifested. Subject died of being unable to breathe.

TEST 14:
Test Subject: D-00238, former rapper
Procedure: Subject was instructed to approach the paper and read 'indeed' verbally, but stop speaking after the first syllable.
Results: Subject complied to instructions, but Stage 1 still occurred. After 14 minutes, Symptom 2 manifested. Subject is currently in the medical ward and is being sustained for research.

TEST 19:
Test Subject: D-29319, underweight.
Procedure: Subject was instructed to approach the paper and read the 'indeed' mentally.
Results: Stage 1 occurred, but after 13 minutes, Symptom 6 manifested. Subject destroyed the chamber door and killed 3 personnel before being killed by security. Subject was shot in the chest multiple times with rifles, then hit by 6 shotgun pellets in the head before dying.
NOTE: After this incident, testing authorization required two Level 4 personnel.

TEST 22: D-99123
Procedure: Subject was instructed to approach the paper and read the 'indeed' mentally.
Results: Stage 1 occurred, then Symptom 5 manifested. Subject was taken back to their cell.

Title 2

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DATE: 08 Apr 2021 06:38

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D-XXXX hand after weaponization from SCP-XXXX-1

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2 are contained in a Safe Storage Locker located at Site-XX. Level 2 personnel and above can access the locker, however a researcher needs be present when doing so.

Testing of SCP-XXXX-1 and -2 must be carried out at the site's firing range under supervision from one or more guards.

Description: SCP-XXXX-1 and -2 are sheets of A4 paper with hand-written instructions on it authored by an unknown person. These instructions detail a series of steps to perform a kinetoglyph which would allow the user to weaponize their dominant hand. A symbol representing Leonardo's Vitruvian Man is present on the bottom-right corner of both pieces of paper.

On the 6th of September, 2020 an agent embedded within the Australian Army notified the Foundation of possible anomalous activity within Lavarack Barracks in Townsville, QLD. The agent was instructed to investigate and one week later sent back the following report and a containment case containing SCP-XXXX-1.

SCP Foundation Investigation

Clearance Level 2
Report #: XXXX
Investigator: Level 3 Agent Colonel Jim Smith
Location: Lavarack Barracks, QLD
Date of Report: 13th September, 2020

---

I arrived at Lavarack Barracks at 1600 hours to meet with a commander of the 3rd Brigade. Meeting in his office, I was informed of an incident that occurred in a cadet’s bunk room.

According to reports, gunfire was heard and the guards on duty quickly responded. Arriving at the bunk room they found all four cadets clutching their hands crying out in pain, with one appearing to have fainted. There were blood splotches on the walls and bedding, with bone embedded in some of the impact areas. The cadets were transported to the infirmary while an investigation was undertaken.

The investigation revealed no gun in the room, nor were there any missing weapons from the armory. No one was in the firing range either. Cadets in an adjacent bunk were tasked with cleaning the room where they discovered a document with instructions for a kinetoglyph resulting in two additional injuries. Fellow cadets transported them to the infirmary, as well as handing the document to their commander. I received the document from the commander and have locked it in a containment case.

Listed below are the injuries sustained by the six cadets:

• Cadet Steve Bradbury: Right index finger removed, affected area shows no evidence of a finger ever being attached.
• Cadet James Miller: Right index finger dislocated.
• Cadet Lachlan Muir: Left index finger knuckles appeared to have exploded.
• Cadet Lucas Sharp: Right index finger removed, leaving a bloody stump.
• Cadet Alex Johnson: Left index finger appears to of been shredded.
• Cadet Tom Chapman: Left index finger splayed apart.

After a thorough analysis of the scene I determined there were no further anomalies present. Gamma-5 assisted with the administration of amnestics and creation of a cover story².

Interview Log XXXX.1

The following is a transcribed interview between Agent Colonel Jim Smith and Cadet Steve Bradbury.

Interviewee: Cadet Steve Bradbury

Interviewer: Agent Colonel Jim Smith

---

Smith: (Clears throat) My name is Colonel Jim Smith and I am conducting an interview with Cadet Steve Bradbury in response to the incident that occurred on the 6th of September. The current date is the 8th of September. Can you please state your name for the record?

Bradbury: Uhhh, my name is Steve Bradbury. Sir.

Smith: Thank you. Now, you and your fellow cadets suffered various hand injuries that currently have no explanation and I was hoping you could shed light on what happened.

Bradbury: Um yes, sure thing Sir. We’d just finished our shifts for the day when we arrived back in our bunk room. Alex was the first to notice it, there was an envelope on the table labelled ‘Body Weaponization Test 3’. He brought it to our attention and we assumed that it was a prank by some of the other cadets or higher ups.

Smith: I assume that’s why you didn’t bring it to the attention of your CO?

Bradbury: Yes Sir…Am in trouble Sir?

Smith: No. Please continue

Bradbury: Yes Sir. Alex opened the envelope and in it was a folded piece of A4 paper with ‘Hand Weaponization’ at the top. Below it were a variety of hand drawn and written images and text describing an apparent way to shoot your index finger. We all had a bit of a laugh at it, and thought why not give it a go. I mean what was the worst that could happen (Nervous Laughter).

(10 seconds of silence)

Smith: If you are alright, can you please recount what happened next. With as much detail as possible.

Bradbury: Yes, sure thing Sir. It took us about a minute to follow the steps, it looked like a weird dance. The final instruction was to point your finger like a gun and say ‘BANG’. So we lined up, faced the wall and said ‘BANG’. Gunfire was heard and the other cadets suddenly screamed in pain clutching their hand, blood was everywhere. I was disorientated from having 3 lots of gunfire happen right next to me so I didn’t notice anything had happened to my hand until we got to the infirmary.

Smith: Did it hurt, was there any pain?

Bradbury: No Sir. Sometimes I get a phantom feeling of my finger being there, but the medics told me that is expected to happen and should hopefully fade over time. I am still in shock about any of this occurring, will my buddies recover?

Smith: They will. James only had a dislocation and Lucas’ finger also was removed like yours, though it was painful for him. The other’s will require amputation unfortunately.

Bradbury: Oh…ok. What is going to happen to me and them now?

Smith: That is still being decided. I assure you will not have to wait for long to find out.

Bradbury: Thank you. Sir. Do you need to know anything else?

Smith: No. That will be all for now, I appreciate your cooperation.

Addendum XXXX.1: On the 3rd of March, 2021 a series of robberies occurred in Rotorua, NZ. Witnesses described the suspect as using their finger as a gun, apparently shooting their nails at high speeds. Agents tracked down the suspect to an apartment block. After apprehending the suspect, an investigation of their apartment revealed that they had recently returned from Papakura Military Camp in Auckland. A piece of paper was also discovered containing instructions for ‘Hand Weaponization’ with a symbol on the Vitruvian Man in the bottom-right corner. The piece of paper has now been classified SCP-XXXX-2.

The author of SCP-XXXX-1 and -2 has been classified as POI-XXXX and Foundation efforts are currently underway to locate and contain them.

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: collab:stoner99Mountain1!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 08 Apr 2021 01:06
Wow! You flipped a card and got: penguinpyro!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 08 Apr 2021 00:41

Word count: 4.0k words
Canon: GOC Casefiles canon
This is a sequel to a previous tale. and will be part of a longer series of tales. Reading the previous tale is not required. This tale is intended to be understandable as a stand-alone.

Google Docs version (please notify me if you use this):
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F1yoyugQIfn4bZr2emkiKizVlP657SwZEhHuQaQkJaE/edit

Not So Lucky Triple Sevens

"I'm telling you", said Vulture. "GOC rations almost saved my life once."

Wheels rolled her eyes. The other operatives ate and listened.

Vulture continued, "So, my old team's in the Urals, tracking down these proto-Sarkic nutters. Big CK reality shift from this artifact they're making. Doesn't get us, but gets our cache of spare supplies. We exfil on foot, grab our stuff, and the first bite of an MRE entree, we spit out, it's all pillbugs. Tiny ground pieces of pillbugs, barely visible. If the MREs weren't designed this way, we would have eaten it. They were that small!"

"But then you ate them anyway," said Generous. "And that's why they call you Vulture."

"And that's why they call me Vulture," exclaimed Vulture. The Arab woman jabbed a finger wrapped around a half-empty MRE. Her full mouth did not seem to impede her speech.

Around the circle of four GOC operatives, a purple-blue sunset sky kissed distant, gray mountains. The plains of Sonora, Mexico stretched out with light sandy soil and gray-green shrubs. In the distance, some distant bird of prey shrilled, perhaps in triumph, perhaps in dismay.

Vulture said, "But think about it. We determined the bugs were not poisonous or anomalous, and it was our only food at this point. It was two and a half days' climb back to extraction. What would you have done?" Vulture asked the three other operatives.

"Go hungry."

"Go hungry."

"Yup."

Vulture sneered, unbefitting her ladylike appearance. "Well, nothing came of it. It was the right call. But still, I've been Vulture ever since. How about you? Did you guys have old call-signs?"

"Something like that." said Generous. She put a hand to her round, tan features. "Well, it's a good question. As the leader, I'll start. Before the GOC, they nicknamed me ‘Tigress’ because I developed this way to leap onto hostiles with a knife. Dropped them on the spot, nice and quiet. Of course, that was when I was young and limber. I try it now, and I just crush people- far less effective."

She said it without shame, and no one dared tease the short, muscular woman for it.

"Alright. Wheels? You wanna go?" asked Generous.

In response, the lithe, dark-skinned woman brushed a hand along her short curly hair. "I uh… okay, well, you guys are going to laugh … but in Eurtec, I was 'Squeaky'."

"Squeaky," said Vulture.

"Yeah. Because I complained so much." said Wheels.

"Gee, I can't see why. ‘Wheels’ is somehow worse, though." said Vulture.

Wheels waved an MRE pastry, threatening to send errant crumbs everywhere. "Look, they put those fucking car toys there on purpose! I was operating on two hours of sleep!"

"Ha!" said Noface. The young, reedy man leaned forward. "Wow, 'Squeaky'! I was LEN in the Serpent's Hand. Short for Little Eater of Names, for the same reason you all call me Noface. The 'Little' is because the real Eater of Names wouldn't like it otherwise."

"I see. I might as well share an embarrassing secret so Wheels doesn't get Squeaky on us." deadpanned Generous. "See, there's a bar-friendly origin story for every unflattering call-sign. That's what I told you guys."

"That you're 'Generous' because you waste ammo?" asked Wheels.

"Have you seen me ever waste a bullet?" said Generous.

"No…" said Wheels.

"My first team named me Generous… for my chest," said Generous.

Noface turned red and tore his eyes away from Generous's face and upper body. Vulture laughed.

Wheels stuttered, "Wait, what!?"

"The GOC was a lot less enlightened in the early 2000s. I punched someone over it. Then I got a reduction. I'm contrary like that." said Generous.

"It could be worse, my old team's first try was 'Porky'," said Vulture.

"'Porky'?" asked Wheels.

"Ex-Muslim," said Vulture. "Our CO told them 'fuck no', so they went with Vulture."

"I still think we should have gone with 'Serpentor' for Noface," said Wheels.

Vulture grunted out her enthusiasm.

"I still think 'Cobra Commander' would have been funnier. But no, Region Command has that policy against call-signs too indicative of background. So Noface was for the best." said Generous.

"For the best." sighed Noface. "I left the Serpent's Hand behind me. For good. I hope."

"So, this parathreat," said Wheels. "When are we finally going in?"

"Never, I hope," said Generous. "We have another night. Maybe our parathreat will show its true face soon. Noface, you did say 72 hours is thaumaturgically significant?"

"Yeah. Three days show up the most often in rituals. It's rarely two, four or five, or even a week. Always three, for some reason."

"Well, there you have it. GOC SOP and thaumaturgy agree. Three days to see if the parathreat does something interesting before we go in." said Generous.

"Yeah, ugh. I hope this is a false alarm. We haven't seen anyone inside. Even through drone footage. I'm not exactly excited to walk into something that makes people disappear." said Noface.

"It's not a false alarm," said Generous. "Satellite intel is clear on this. Twelve locals went in and never came out. Then their homes got haunted, for lack of a better word."

She gestured to a shack on the horizon. It appeared as if someone scaled up a mortarboard hat, turned it into wood, and called it a house.

"This is why the GOC hates structural parathreats", said Vulture. "They're dangerous as hell. Half the time it's not even the building itself, but the location, so there's not much we can do."

"I've been to a dozen controlled demolitions back in Strike. Very boring. Plant disintegration charges, go over a big-ass checklist, wait until it's over." said Generous. "Not satisfying like shooting Bixbies into spaghetti, or sharing 40 mm with anomalous wildlife."

"The worst is when we have to tip off the Foundation and let them wrap it up. Hate to say it, but they're best suited for this kind of thing," complained Vulture.

"Agreed," said Generous. "Just like they like to ring us up in case of a Large Scale Aggressor."

"Oh man, I got to see a UHEC in action once!" blurted Vulture. "Like watching gods fight!"

"Three times, for me. It is intense beyond intense," said Generous. She pointed with an empty MRE wrapper at Wheels and Noface. "You kids are missing out."

"Yeah, I'm going to pass on anything crazy enough to warrant a giant mech," said Wheels.

"Yep." agreed Noface. "So… should I run Field Ritual B9-73 again?"

Generous's eyes swept the three operatives, noting they long since finished eating. "Good idea. Dinner's over, let's get in some more scans, then a good night's sleep before we head in."

---

Generous woke up to find herself standing up, rifle ready.

Her sudden movement startled the skinny rookie whose voice woke her.

"Ah! Geez!" gasped Noface.

"What's the situation?" Generous demanded.

"Vulture's missing!" he whispered.

Generous nudged Wheels with her foot. Wheels crawled up to attention with less grace and more groaning than Generous.

"Wha- what is it?", mumbled Wheels.

"Vulture's missing. Check the sensor array. Noface, what did you see?" said Generous.

"Nothing! Normal night, nothing moved. Suddenly, I look over you guys, and Vulture's just… gone! I tried calling her, nothing." said Noface.

"Did you look in IR? UV? VERITAS?" asked Generous.

"Yeah! Couldn't find her," exclaimed Noface.

Generous scanned the Mexican chaparral and saw nothing but shrubs and stars. "First step, Noface, secure the perimeter. Cover my back while we talk. Composite vision mode, just in case. Wheels, report what you got."

"Still sifting through history", said Wheels, eyes deep on the HUD in her helmet. "Not even minor events. No motion sensors tripped, no unexpected light changes, all sound levels within expected. Vulture's life sensors are on and still in tac-net radius."

"Is this how the parathreat makes people disappear!?" asked Noface. The skinny mage swiveled his gaze around. "It makes no sense! Vulture's got the highest cognitive resistance score of us! It couldn't have compelled her to walk away!"

"If she walked away, the motion sensors would have gone off. Look for signs of a CK reality shift. Or other terrain alteration." said Generous. "Wheels, eyes on the parathreat structure. You see anything weird, we have to know."

"It still looks like a run-down shitty shack," said Wheels.

"It's disappeared thirteen people now," hissed Generous. "I do not want to give it more! Eyes forward and wide open."

"Roger, wilco," muttered Wheels. The three operatives began to walk to their fallback point, rifles ready. They covered each other's movements and backs. Their footsteps made almost no sound even in the dry scrubland soil. A chill wind murmured as if to warn of danger ahead.

"I have a theory," said Wheels.

"Shoot", said Generous.

"Parathreat may have carried her up and off, motion sensors are only reliable up to 8 meters' radius."

"Damn it. Hadn't thought of an aerial perimeter. She could be anywhere by now." grunted Generous.

"Are we sure there wasn't a CK?" asked Noface.

"She's alive and around here. We can deal with any other implications later. Okay, we're at a secure spot." said Generous. "Keep covering me."

The other two operatives nodded, presenting their weapons to the cold night air.

Generous's eyes made the gestures on her HUD to open her radio.

"Control, this is Assessment Team 777 'Fingertip'," said Generous. "Fingertip 1 speaking, Fingertip 2 MIA, unknown cause. Do you read me?"

Silence. The side of her screen descended into noiseless static.

Generous continued, "Control, this is Fingertip 1. I say again, Fingertip 2 MIA. Please respond."

Silence.

"Control, please respond." Generous sighed. "Fingertip 1 to Fingertip 2… Vulture. This is Generous. Are you there? Respond."

Silence.

"Vulture, this is Generous, please talk to us. Are you alright?"

She finished waiting and turned to her team. "Signal's perfect, Control's not responding, neither is Vulture. Looks like it's up to us."

She reached out to empty air and tore off a piece of the night sky. The fabric in her hands reflected and distorted the light around it. A close-topped, armored jeep now stood where it had been.

"The drone didn't see anything if that's what you're thinking," said Wheels.

Generous reached into the jeep. Noface and Wheels backed up behind her, guns outward.

"Not last time," said Generous. "We'll try again. I am not stepping in a haunted house blind." She took a basketball-sized quadcopter from the jeep into her backpack. She moved to help Wheels cover their position. "Noface, get the rest of your thaumaturgic supplies. Everything. We aren't going back."

Noface nodded and turned to the jeep to retrieve a large dark gray assault bag. He took Generous's place on guard as she moved back to the vehicle.

"My turn again. I'm getting the laser designator," said Generous.

"What? What for?" asked Noface.

"You know what happened to 'Clover', the previous Assessment Team 777?" said Generous.

"Uh…" said Wheels.

"Do I want to know?" moaned Noface.

"They got wiped inside a parathreat that duplicates rooms," said Generous. "Called in a fuel-air bomb at their location, died gloriously. The least we can do if we fail is take the anomaly with us."

"That's a little much. Does it even work indoors?" said Noface.

"Oh, I know firsthand: like a charm," said Generous.

"Firstha-" sputtered Wheels. "Ugh fine. You and your hard-on for the Fivefold Mission."

"But we can't raise Control." Noface pointed out.

"We can at least tell GOC spy sats where we died. The bomb will come after that," said Generous.

Noface shuddered.

"What a lovely thought." murmured Wheels. "Anything else to grab before we charge into hell?"

"I'm good," said Generous. She checked her rifle and let its bolt snap shut.

"Yeah, me too," said Noface. He slipped a ritual knife into his sleeve.

"Alright. Let's go find Vulture," said Wheels.

---

The shack looked exactly as non-threatening as before.

"VERITAS still shows the parathreat as transparent. No life signs inside" said Wheels. "Still looks the same in IR, not enough UV at night to see anything."

"What are you doing with the designator?" Noface asked Generous.

"Sending a message to the spy sats in Morse," said Generous. She clicked the flashlight-like device on and off in staccato. "I'm hoping this will get their attention. Wheels, send in the drone."

"Way ahead of you, it's going in," said Wheels.

The quadcopter buzzed through the dry, dark air and the shack's open window.

"Yeah, nothing. Still empty of anyone. Only one room, flooring, and furniture." said Wheels.

"Alright, let's head in. Keep the drone going." said Generous.

They kicked open the door and surged in. The interior looked the same as the drone's view: dusty, wooden, and unpainted. The quadcopter hovered in place as if to say "I told you so".

"Damn," said Generous. "Look for hidden compartments or tunnels. Every cabinet, every floorboard. 'Nitohaz filters up, composite vision."

"Roger, Gen." the two junior operatives chorused. The team got to work inspecting the shack's crude construction and beaten-down furnishings.

Generous said, "Noface when this is over I want a ritual B-72 for dimensiona- uhhhh, what the fu-"

The three operatives found themselves standing on familiar grounds. Trimmed, low bushes lined the sidewalk. Outlines of austere military buildings blocked out small parts of the starry sky. Orderly rows of bollards and trees bracketed the roads.

"Huh. This looks like… " said Wheels.

"Stay alert. GPS says… huh. We're actually in Fort Sinker, Nebraska. Right outside the barracks. Yeah, we were sleeping here five days ago." said Generous. She gestured at the familiar building they stood outside.

"Might be a CK shift," said Noface.

"Maybe we teleported," suggested Wheels.

"Control? Control, please respond," said Generous. "Still nothing. Stay alert, this might be a dimensional shift."

An alarm blared.

"Oh fuck!" said Wheels. "Base security must have picked up our sudden appearance!"

"Double-check your IFF!" said Generous. She checked her HUD to confirm she was marked "Friendly" on any GOC tactical network.

"What if they're unfriendly?" said Noface.

"Then we're going to die anyway. We aren't evading base security, even on a good night," said Generous.

An armored car's headlights shone over the road and overwhelmed their night vision.

"We surrender! Friendlies! Do not shoot!" yelled Noface, laying down his rifle and putting his hands on his head. Generous and Vulture followed his lead. "Assessment Team 777 Fingertip! Do not shoot! We were suddenly brought here when-"

When their eyes and HUDs adjusted, the car seemed to be empty. Light beams with no source started sweeping across the three operatives' vision. They stood there in silence.

"What the heck? It pulled up. Who's driving it?" asked Wheels.

"Maybe this is a dimension where Fort Sinker has self-driving cars?" replied Noface.

"Whoa," said Wheels as she stumbled. "I think something pushed me."

"Where are those lights coming from?" mused Generous. The light beams swirled around as if confused.

"Hm… well, stay where we are. We don't want to alarm base security with sudden mov-" Something made Generous lose her balance.

"Yeah, still nothing in VERITAS or IR. UV's at night is a lost cause, but… no, still nothing," said Wheels.

"I'm trying too. Still nothing." said Generous.

"Maybe a field ritual? I know a few that can tell us which dimension we're in," said Noface.

"No ritual, we'll set off even more alarms…. wait a second… I think I know what's going on!" exclaimed Generous.

---

GOC base security searched for unseen intruders, sweeping with their tactical lights.

Sergeant Eber said, "Teleportation alarms picked up something here. Three human-sized masses. They say it hasn't moved, but… be careful."

Private Gognitti seemed to jolt. "Whoa I think something pushed me!" she yelled.

The alarmed soldiers pointed their rifles near the shouting woman.

"Not seeing anything," said Private Greenberg.

"Get your goggles on, switch to composite vision, it might be invisible," said Sergeant Eber.

"Roger that….still nothing."

"Let's get Sec Three and Sec One on the horn ASAP. Form a perimeter, I don't want it backtracking to us."

"Control, I lost the rest of my team on tac-net! Noface, Gen, Wheels, they just… disappeared!" yelled Vulture. She tromped around the Mexican plains where she had seen her team last.

"Damn it. Fingertip 2, do you have visuals on the parathreat?" replied Mission Control over the radio.

The frustrated, sweaty operative tilted her head at the parathreat.

"Door is open. I don’t know when, I swear it was closed ten seconds ago and I was looking at it the whole time," said Vulture.

"Fingertip 2, do you see any signs of a CK shift or thaumaturgy?" asked Control.

"VERITAS is still dead quiet, no EVE flare-ups anywhere," said Vulture. "Should I enter the parathreat structure?"

"Fingertip 2… we have… negatory. Do not proceed. Fingertip 2, stand by for further instructions."

Vulture grunted and kicked a rock as hard as she could. She busied herself looking for clues and wondering what the hell happened.

---

"I think I got something solid!" said Noface. He held onto something that felt like empty air, but his fingers resisted closing all the way. The other operatives stopped their attempts to grab at thin air and turned to look at him.

"Hey! I can't… move my arm," said Private Greenberg, struggling against an unseen, unfelt grip. Only the other base guards heard him.

The others grunted in alarm and pointed their searchlights in Noface's direction.

"You know what? Prep less-lethals, I want to try something," said Sergeant Eber.

Noface felt his vision explode and he fell to the floor twitching.

Generous kneeled to inspect her spasming teammate. "Yeah, that looks like a bog-standard Class C Electrosubmissive."

"Oh my God, Noface!" said Wheels. She rushed to their downed comrade.

"Don't touch him, you'll get zapped too," said Generous. She stood up to restrain Wheels. "Remember, it's a lot safer than a civilian Taser. He'll act like it never happened in a couple of minutes. We've confirmed we're dealing with people we can't perceive in any way. I know what to do."

---

"Okay, that stopped whatever was grabbing you. Probably antimemetics, to keep us from noticing it. Way beyond our pay grade. All units, fall back." said Sergeant Eber. The graying, mustached soldier put his hand to his headset and followed his soldiers' retreat.

He said, "Sec Two to HQ, do you copy? Our intruder is antimemetic. I recommend we pull automated defenses in, make the perimeter airtight. How do we know? Took a blind shot with a Class C E-sub. The munition disappeared into thin air but halted the anomalous activity…. Roger that, Sec Two out."

---

"Ahhh!" said Noface. He stretched like a cat. "Best sleep I had in months. What happened?"

"You got tased," said Wheels. She busied herself writing on a notepad.

"Tased?!" yelled Noface.

"Class C E-sub."

"Oh. Huh, it's rather pleasant."

"Do it enough and you get memory problems. Don't get ideas." said Generous. "Okay, we're good to go?"

"Yeah. That should do it," said Wheels. She put down the paper.

"What are you guys doing?" asked Noface.

"Staying clear. Come on, let's move away from the jumpy base guards," said Generous. She watched the jeep, as if of its own accord, back up and drive away. "They're pulling out, which means we'll see reinforcements soon. MOVE IT, Noface!"

"Okay okay!" said Noface, pulling himself off the ground.

---

"Well, I'll be damned," said Sergeant Eber. He scanned the perimeter. His men pointed rifles in the general direction of the threat.

"Sir?" said the soldier next to him.

"HQ says drone scanners pick up three… friendlies. Right over there," said Eber. He pointed at thin air not far from their position.

"Friendlies, sir."

"Yep. But they don't show up on the drone visuals either."

"Well, that explains a lot. Should we worry, sir?"

"Just in case, let's- wait, do you see that? On the ground right there?"

"It's GOC field stationary, sir."

"Yes well, I can fucking see that, private! Move up and read it for me! All units, stay alert."

"Yes sir… It reads, 'We are friendlies, GOC Assessment Team 777 on an operation to Sonora, Mexico. We were transported here upon entering a parathreat structure. We are from dimension 2719-C.' "

Sergeant Eber growled, "Yeah, definitely beyond our pay grade. HQ, are you getting this?… Oh, that's our dimension? Thank fuck! Should we stand down?" He paused. "Roger that."

Eber turned to his soldiers. "Looks like this is a problem for specialists now. Keep a perimeter up, keep up the drones going, let's be sure our guests don't wander off."

---

Two days later

All Miguel Rodriguez knew for sure was that his throat hurt from shouting. One house after another was empty. Row after row, street after street, not a single human being.

House lights went on and off. Cars vanished and appeared in driveways when he looked away. Yet he had not seen another moving creature anywhere. No amount of shouting or wailing produced any response. On the phone, in houses, anywhere. The wayward environmental inspector wasn't sure where the hell he was. Ever since he had stepped foot in that stupid shack in the desert. Was this a dream? It was far too long to be a dream. He forced himself to walk through abandoned Mexican suburbs. He couldn't contemplate giving up the search for his wife and three boys. But his feet hurt, his throat hurt… he didn't know if his body would let him continue.

After so many weeks of silence, he startled and spun around when he heard voices. He rushed into the strange soldiers' arms, heedless to whether they meant to harm him. He figured either would end his nightmare.

The American woman in strange gray military armor gently pushed him away. "Hello, I believe we are looking for you. What is your name?" she said in halting Spanish.

"I'm… I'm Miguel Rodriguez. Thank God you're here! Everyone's vanished!" he replied in a hoarse voice. "You are the first person I've seen! Thank God! What the hell happened here!? Are you from the government?" He fought the urge to sob in her arms.

Wheels stammered at the rapid barrage of Spanish. She listened to a translation from her headset and cautiously addressed each of his questions.

The two other operatives hung back while Wheels handled the civilian.

"You don't speak Spanish, Gen?" asked Noface.

"Heck no," she replied.

"But you're from-" objected Noface.

"Brazil. Where we don't speak Spanish."

"No, I mean, you said you used to work on Brazil's borders. Surely you used a little Spanish?"

"I know some very simple basics. 'May I use your phone?', 'Where is the nearest town?', 'One step closer and I'll blow your fucking head off!'"

"That's a basic phrase?!" asked Noface.

"In our line of work? You better memorize and practice it," replied Generous.

Vulture interrupted over their comms. Her voice sounded distant and garbled over special memetic filters, but at least they could hear her now.

"She's right, " said Vulture's voice. "Any country, any language, that's going to be in your top ten."

"Unbelievable," said Noface.

"Less believable than an antimemetic effect that keeps you from perceiving anyone else? And vice versa," said Vulture.

"I can't say that, no. Which civilian are we even on?" said Noface.

"This guy would be the tenth of twelve. Well, the fourth we've found alive." replied Generous.

"Poor bastards."

"Yeah, this guy's lucky he didn't wander into traffic that he can't see."

"We're lucky we didn't do that," said Noface.

Generous pointed to a drone hovering over them.

"We have a bit of help. Anyways, once we get the civilians accounted for and amnesticized, then PTOLEMY will get us fixed up."

Noface sighed. "Yeah. I dunno, I'm just glad we lived through this. I want to see the parathreat blown up though."

"So do I," said Generous.

"Alright, exfil in five!" Wheels shouted to them and gave a thumbs up. Miguel sobbed in relief on her shoulder.

“Not too bad for a first mission,” said Noface.

“Could have been a lot worse,” agreed Generous.

“Can’t wait to see you guys again!” said Vulture’s voice.

The operatives chuckled softly and waited for pickup.

END

Specific Concerns

• Is there a better title I could use? I'm somewhat at a loss for better.
• How/where can I build more of a sense of place? Or is it unnecessary?
• How much sense do events make? Is the pace too fast? If so, where could I put explanations that don't bog down the story too much?
• Are there too many red herrings in characters' speculation about the anomaly or is it appropriate?
• Is there sufficient closure or is the ending too abrupt?

Draft Reviewers: TheyCallMeTim NKUltra TopDownUnder quickestsilver Bolterpyre Dr Lerche JacobWaller NebulousStar
Wow! You flipped a card and got: Dydbduencud sinsnx!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 08 Apr 2021 00:40

The ListPages module does not work recursively.

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CODE

/*
    PLACESTYLE CSS
    [2021 Wikidot Theme]
    By Placeholder McD
    Based on:
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       Paperstack Theme by EstrellaYoshte
       BLANKSTYLE CSS by Placeholder McD, HarryBlank
       Ad Astra Theme by NatVoltaic, stormbreath
       Night Rush Theme by Nagiros
*/
 
@import url(https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Fira+Code&display=swap);
@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Montserrat:ital,wght@0,800;1,800&display=swap');
 
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body {
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}
 
::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb {
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}
 
::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb:hover {
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/* ---- HEADER ---- */
 
div#container-wrap,
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/* Set the new text's content from variable */
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    color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
#account-topbutton{
    border: solid 1px var(--accentColor);
}
 
#footer, #footer a {
    background: transparent;
    color: #ededed;
}
#license-area {
     color: #ededed;
}
 
#search-top-box {
    top: 2.2rem!important;
    right: 8px;
}
#search-top-box-form > input[type=submit] {
    border: solid 1px #ededed;
    background: #21252E!important;
    box-shadow: none;
    border-radius: 0;
    color: #ededed;
    transition: color 0.15s linear;
}
#search-top-box-form input[type=submit]:hover {
    border: solid 1px var(--accentColor);
    box-shadow: none;
    color: var(--accentColor);
}
#search-top-box-form > input[type=text] { display: none; }
 
/* ---- TOP BAR ---- */
 
#top-bar {
     top: 8.4rem;
     display: flex;
     justify-content: center;
     right: 0;
}
#top-bar, #top-bar a {
     color: #ededed;
     transition: color 0s;
}
#top-bar ul li ul {
    border-color: var(--accentColor);
    overflow: hidden;
}
#top-bar ul li.sfhover ul li a,
#top-bar ul li:hover ul li a {
   border-top-color: #2F333C;
}
#top-bar ul li.sfhover a,
#top-bar ul li:hover a {
    background: #21252E;
    color: #ededed;
}
#top-bar ul li.sfhover a:hover,
#top-bar ul li:hover a:hover {
    background: #21252E; /* top bar hover background color */
    color: var(--accentColor);
    transition: color 0.1s linear;
}
 
/* ---- SIDE BAR ---- */
 
div#side-bar{
    background: #21252E;
    clear: both;
    padding: .8em;
    border-radius: 0;
    box-shadow: none;
    overflow-x: hidden;
}
 
#side-bar .heading{
    color: #ededed;
    font-family: 'Josefin Sans', sans-serif;
    font-size: 0.94rem;
    border-bottom: solid 1px #ededed;
}
#side-bar .side-block {
    border: transparent;
    border-radius: 0;
    box-shadow: none;
    background-color: #21252E;
}
#side-bar .side-block.media {
    background-color:#21252E;
}
#side-bar .side-block.resources {
    background-color:#21252E;
}
.side-block .menu-item > .image {
    display: none;
}
 
#top-bar div.open-menu a {
    border-radius: 0;
    box-shadow: none;
    color: var(--accentColor);
    background-color: #21252E;
    border: 1px groove var(--accentColor);
}
 
@media (max-width: 767px) {
    #main-content {
        padding: 0;
        margin: 0 5%;
        border-left: none;
    }
    #page-title {
        margin-top: 0.7em;
    }
    #side-bar {
        background-color: #21252E;
        left: -18.6em;
    }
    #side-bar:target {
        border: none;
        box-shadow: none;
    }
    #side-bar .close-menu {
        transition: width 0.5s ease-in-out 0.1s,
                    opacity 1s ease-in-out 0s;
        display: block;
        position: fixed;
        width: 100%;
        height: 100%;
        top: 0;
        right: 0;
        background: rgba(0,0,0,0.3);
        background-position: 18.6em 50%;
        z-index: -1;
        opacity: 0;
        pointer-events: none;
    }
    #side-bar:target .close-menu {
        width: calc(100% - 18.6em);
        right: 0;
        left: auto;
        opacity: 1;
        pointer-events: auto;
    }
    #side-bar:target .close-menu:hover {
        background: unset;
    }
    #page-content > hr, #page-content > .list-pages-box > .list-pages-item > hr {
        margin: 3em -5.5%;
    }
    #side-bar {
        top: 0;
    }
    #side-bar .heading {
        padding-left: 1em;
        margin-left: -1em;
    }
    #search-top-box {
        top: 107px;
    }
}
 
/* ---- TABS ---- */
 
/* ---- YUI TAB BASE ---- */
.yui-navset .yui-nav a,.yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a{background-color:inherit;background-image:inherit}.yui-navset .yui-nav a:hover,.yui-navset .yui-nav a:focus{background:inherit;text-decoration:inherit}.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a,.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:focus,.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:hover{color:inherit;background:inherit}.yui-navset .yui-nav,.yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav{border-color:inherit}.yui-navset li{line-height:inherit}
 
/* ---- YUI TAB CUSTOMIZATION ----*/
 
 .yui-navset .yui-nav,
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav{
     display: flex;
     flex-wrap: wrap;
     width: calc(100% - .125rem);
     margin: 0 auto;
     border-color: var(--accentColor);
     box-shadow: none;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a, /* ---- Link Modifier ---- */
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a{
     color: #ededed;
     font-weight: bold;
    /* ---- Tab Background Colour | [UNSELECTED] ---- */
     background-color: #21252E;
     border: unset;
     box-shadow: none;
     box-shadow: none;
     transition: background-color 0.15s linear;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a:hover,
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a:focus{
     color: #ededed;
    /* ---- Tab Background Colour | [HOVER] ---- */
     background-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav li, /* ---- Listitem Modifier ---- */
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav li{
     position: relative;
     display: flex;
     flex-grow: 2;
     max-width: 100%;
     margin: 0;
     padding: 0;
     color: #ededed;
     background-color: #21252E;
     border-color: transparent;
     box-shadow: none;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav li a,
 .yui-navset-top .yui-nav li a,
 .yui-navset-bottom .yui-nav li a{
     display: flex;
     align-items: center;
     justify-content: center;
     width: 100%;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav li em{
     border: unset;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a em,
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a em{
     padding: .35em .75em;
 
     text-overflow: ellipsis;
     overflow: hidden;
     white-space: nowrap;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected, /* ---- Selection Modifier ---- */
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav .selected{
     flex-grow: 2;
     margin: 0;
     padding: 0;
    /* ---- Tab Background Colour | [SELECTED] ---- */
     background-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a,
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a em{
     border: none;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a{
     width: 100%;
     color: #21252E;
     font-weight: bold;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:focus,
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:active{
     color: #21252E;
     background-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 .yui-navset .yui-content {
    background-color: #21252E;
    box-shadow: none;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-content,
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-content{
     padding: .5em;
     border: none;
}
 
/*---- TAB ANIMATION by Croquembouche ---- */
 
.yui-navset .yui-content > div {
    display: block;
    top: 0;
    overflow: hidden;
    transform-origin: 0 0;
}
 
#page-content .yui-navset .yui-content > div[style*="none"] {
    display: block !important;
    flex: 0;
    max-height: 0;
    padding: 0 0.5em;
    border-width: 0;
    /* The following transition affects the one that DISAPPEARS */
    transition: padding 0s linear 0.5s,
          border-width 0s linear 0.5s,
          flex 0.5s cubic-bezier(.18,.51,.54,.9) 0s;
    animation: tab-disappear 0.5s ease-in-out 0s 1 both;
}
#page-content .yui-navset .yui-content > div[style*="block"] {
    display: block !important;
    flex: 1;
    max-height: 9999rem;
    /* The following transition affects the one that APPEARS */
    transition: padding 0s linear 0.5s,
          border-width 0s linear 0.5s,
          flex 0.5s cubic-bezier(.18,.51,.54,.9) 0.5s;
    animation: tab-appear 0.5s ease-in-out 0.5s 1 both;
}
 
@keyframes tab-disappear {
    0% { max-height: 9999rem; }
    1% { max-height: 100vh; }
    100% { max-height: 0; }
}
@keyframes tab-appear {
    0% { max-height: 0; }
    99% { max-height: 100vh; }
    100% { max-height: 9999rem; }
}
 
/* ---- INFO BAR ---- */
 body{
     --barColour: #21252E;
     --linkColour: #ededed;
}
 
 .info-container .collapsible-block-content{
     padding: 0 .5em 30px;
}
 .info-container .collapsible-block-content .wiki-content-table{
     width: 100%;
}
 
/* Ayer's info-bar patch by Monkatraz */
#page-content .info-container .collapsible-block-folded, #page-content .info-container .collapsible-block-unfolded-link  {
    width: 100%;
    max-width: 100%;
    margin: 0 auto;
    padding: 0;
    box-shadow: none;
}
#page-content .info-container .collapsible-block-link::before, #page-content .info-container .collapsible-block-unfolded-link::before  {
    content: " ";
    display: none;
}
#page-content .info-container .collapsible-block-content::after {
    display: none;
}
 
/* ---- INFO PANE ---- */
 
#page-content .creditRate{
     margin: unset;
     margin-top: 4px;
     margin-bottom: 4px;
     margin-right: 3px;
}
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border: solid 2px #21252E;
    border-radius: 0;
    box-shadow: 3px 0px 0px 0px var(--accentColor);
}
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .creditButton p a {
    border-left-color: transparent;
}
 
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .page-rate-widget-box .cancel {
    border-radius: 0;
}
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .page-rate-widget-box .rate-points {
    border-left: 0;
}
 
.rate-box-with-credit-button .page-rate-widget-box .cancel a:hover {
    border-radius: 0;
}
 
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .fa-info {
     color: #ededed;
}
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .fa-info:hover {
     color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
#page-content .modalbox {
     background: #2F333C !important;
     color: #ededed;
     box-shadow: none;
}
.close-credits,
.credit-back {
    filter: grayscale(100%) invert(100%) contrast(275%);
}
 
/* ---- PAGE RATING ---- */
 
.page-rate-widget-box {
     margin: unset;
     border-radius: 0;
     border: solid 2px #21252E;
     box-shadow: 3px 0px 0px 0px var(--accentColor);
     background-color: #21252E;
     margin-top: 4px;
     margin-bottom:4px;
     margin-right: 3px;
}
 
.page-rate-widget-box .rate-points {
    background-color: #21252E !important;
    border: none;
    color: #ededed !important;
    text-transform: capitalize;
}
.page-rate-widget-box .rateup,
.page-rate-widget-box .ratedown {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-top: none;
    border-bottom: none;
}
.page-rate-widget-box .rateup a,
.page-rate-widget-box .ratedown a {
    background: transparent;
    color: #ededed;
}
.page-rate-widget-box .rateup a:hover,
.page-rate-widget-box .ratedown a:hover {
    background: #21252E;
    color: var(--accentColor);
}
.page-rate-widget-box .cancel {
    background: transparent;
    background-color: #21252E;
    border: none;
}
.page-rate-widget-box .cancel a {
    color: #ededed;
}
.page-rate-widget-box .cancel a:hover {
    background: #21252E;
    color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
/* ---- PAGE ELEMENTS ---- */
 
.page-source, tt{
    font-family: "Fira Code", monospace;
    font-size: 0.87rem;
}
 .code pre, .code p, .code {
    font-family: "Fira Code", monospace;
    font-size: 0.87rem;
    color: #21252E;
}
 
ins, del {
    color: black;
}
 
h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {
}
 
h1 {
    font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif !important;
    color: var(--accentColor);
    font-weight: bold;
    letter-spacing: 1px;
    font-size: 2em;
}
h2,
h3,
h4,
h5,
h6 {
    font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif !important;
    color: #EDEDED;
    font-weight: bold;
    letter-spacing: 1px;
    font-size: 1.45em;
}
.lightbox h1 {
    color: #21252E;
}
 
#page-title {
    display: none;
}
 
/* Clicky links */
a,
a.newpage,
a:visited,
#side-bar a:visited {
    color: var(--accentColor);
    transition: color 0.15s linear;
}
a:hover, a.newpage:hover, a:visited:hover, #side-bar a:visited:hover {
    color: #ffffff;
    text-decoration: none;
    background-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
/* patch for sidebar media, collapsibles, ACS, info button and ayers module so link doesn't override */
#page-content .collapsible-block-folded a:hover, #page-content .collapsible-block-unfolded-link a:hover, #page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .fa-info:hover, #side-bar .side-block.media a:hover, .danger-diamond a:hover {
    background: transparent;
}
.info-container .collapsible-block-folded .collapsible-block-link, .info-container .collapsible-block-link {
    background: var(--linkColour) !important;
}
 
hr{
    background-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
blockquote,
div.blockquote,
#toc {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border: #21252E 2px solid;
    border-left: 5px dashed var(--accentColor);
    box-shadow: 4px 4px #2F333C;
}
 
.code {
    background-color: #F8F8F8;
    border: solid 3px #2F333C;
    box-shadow: none;
}
.scp-image-block {
    border: 1px solid var(--accentColor);
    box-sizing: border-box;
}
.scp-image-block .scp-image-caption {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-top: 1px solid var(--accentColor);
    color: #ededed;
    font-size: 0.65rem;
    padding: 0.1rem;
    box-sizing: border-box;
}
.scp-image-block.block-left { margin-left: 0; }
.scp-image-block.block-right { margin-right: 0; }
@media (max-width: 540px) {
  .scp-image-block.block-left, .scp-image-block.block-right {
    float: none; clear: both; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;
  }
}
 
/*---- CENTER IMAGES ON MOBILE courtesy of EstrellaYoshte and PeppersGhost ----*/
 
.imagediv {
    float: right;
    margin: 15px
}
 
@media (max-width: 540px) {
  .imagediv {
    float: none;
    text-align:center;
    margin: auto;
  }
}
 
@media only screen and (max-width: 600px) {
    .scp-image-block.block-right{
        float: none;
        margin: 10px auto;
    }
}
 
#page-content tr th {
    color: #21252E;
    background-color: var(--accentColor);
    border: solid 1px var(--accentColor);
    padding: 6px;
}
#page-content tr td {
    border: solid 1px var(--accentColor);
    background-color: #21252E;
    padding: 12px;
    line-height: 1.4;
}
 
/* fancy collapsible */
#page-content .collapsible-block-folded, #page-content .collapsible-block-unfolded-link {
    background: #21252E;
    transition: background 0.25s linear;
    padding-top: 0.5rem;
    padding-bottom: 0.5rem;
    padding-left: 1rem;
    padding-right: 1rem;
    width: min-content;
    white-space: nowrap;
    overflow: hidden;
    margin: auto;
}
#page-content .collapsible-block-folded .collapsible-block-link::before {
    content: "▷ ";
}
#page-content .collapsible-block-unfolded .collapsible-block-link::before {
    content: "▽ ";
}
#page-content .collapsible-block-link {
    text-decoration: none;
    color: #ededed;
    font-weight: bold;
}
#page-content .collapsible-block-folded:hover, #page-content .collapsible-block-unfolded-link:hover {
    background: var(--accentColor);
}
#page-content .collapsible-block-unfolded-link {
    box-shadow: 0px -0.26rem 0px 0px var(--accentColor);
}
#page-content .collapsible-block-folded, #page-content .collapsible-block-unfolded-link {
    margin-top: 10px;
    margin-bottom: 10px;
}
#page-content  .collapsible-block-unfolded > *:nth-child(3) .collapsible-block-link::before {
    content: "△ ";
}
#page-content  .collapsible-block-unfolded > *:nth-child(3) {
    box-shadow: 0px 0.26rem 0px 0px var(--accentColor);
}
 
/* Selection */
::selection {
    background: var(--accentColor);
    color: #ffffff;
}
 
/* Footnotes */
.hovertip {
    font-size: .81rem;
    background-color: #21252E !important;
    border: solid 1px var(--accentColor) !important;
}
.footnotes-footer {
    background-color: #21252E;
    padding-left: 1.4rem;
    padding-right: 1.4rem;
    padding-bottom: 1.5rem;
    box-shadow: -0.24rem 0px 0px 0px var(--accentColor);
}
.footnotes-footer .title {
    color: #ededed;
}
.footnote .f-footer, .equation .e-footer, .reference .r-footer {
    display: none;
}
.footnotes-footer {
display: none;
}
 
/* BetterFootnotes Patch */
.fncon {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-color: var(--accentColor);
}
.fnnum:hover + .fncon {
    right: calc(-8vw - 4rem);
}
.lightbox .fnnum::after {
    color: #000;
}
 
/* Tags */
#main-content .page-tags a {
    margin-top: .18rem;
}
.page-tags span {
    border-top: 1px solid #ededed;
}
 
/* Pop-Up Windows */
.owindow {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
.owindow .modal-header {
    background-color: #21252E;
}
 
.owindow .modal-body img {
    background-color: transparent !important;
}
 
.owindow .title {
    background-color: #21252E;
    color: #var(--accentColor);
    border-bottom: 1px solid #2F333C;
}
 
.owindow .button-bar a {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-color: var(--accentColor);
    color: #ededed;
}
.owindow .button-bar a:hover {
    background-color: var(--accentColor);
}
 
/* Edit Buttons */
.buttons .btn {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-color: var(--accentColor);
    color: var(--accentColor);
    padding: 3px 5px;
}
.buttons .btn:hover {
    background-color: var(--accentColor);
    color: #21252E;
}
 
/* Edit Lock Info*/
#lock-info {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-color: #ededed;
}
 
/* Close Button for Page Source, Rating, Etc */
a.action-area-close:hover {
    background-color: #21252E;
}
 
/* Page-History Current */
.pager .current {
    background-color: var(--accentColor);
    border-color: #ededed;
}
 
/* ---- INTERWIKI ---- */
 
.scpnet-interwiki-frame{
    filter: invert(100%) grayscale(100%) contrast(75%);
}
 
/*  ACS COLORS by Nagiros  */
 
:root {
  --five-color: 255, 34, 67 !important;   /*  red  */
  --four-color: 255, 141, 54 !important;   /*  orange  */
  --three-color: 255, 226, 82 !important;   /*  yellow  */
  --two-color: 117, 167, 242 !important;   /*  blue  */
  --one-color: 40, 159, 107 !important;   /*  green  */
 
  --white-bar: 207, 207, 207;
  --lg-bar: 118, 118, 130;
  --gray-bg: 66, 66, 72;
}
 
.anom-bar > .bottom-box {   /*  horizontal bar  */
  box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(207, 207, 207) !important;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(207, 207, 207) !important;
  -moz-box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(207, 207, 207) !important;
  box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(var(--white-bar, 207, 207, 207)) !important;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(var(--white-bar, 207, 207, 207)) !important;
  -moz-box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(var(--white-bar, 207, 207, 207)) !important;
}
.bottom-box > .diamond-part {   /*  vertical bar  */
  box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(207, 207, 207) !important;
  -webkit-box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(207, 207, 207) !important;
  -moz-box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(207, 207, 207) !important;
  box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(var(--white-bar, 207, 207, 207)) !important;
  -webkit-box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(var(--white-bar, 207, 207, 207)) !important;
  -moz-box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(var(--white-bar, 207, 207, 207)) !important;
}
.anom-bar-container.esoteric .text-part .main-class,
.anom-bar-container.explained .text-part .main-class,
.anom-bar-container.neutralized .text-part .main-class,
.anom-bar-container.pending .text-part .main-class {
  background-color: rgba(66, 66, 72, .5) !important;
  background-color: rgba(var(--gray-bg, 66, 66, 72), .5) !important;
  border-left-color: rgb(118, 118, 130) !important;
  border-left-color: rgb(var(--lg-bar, 118, 118, 130)) !important;
}
.danger-diamond > .arrows,
.danger-diamond > .bottom-icon::before {   /*  inverted arrows, esoteric icons  */
  filter: invert(90%) !important;
  -webkit-filter: invert(90%) !important;
}
.danger-diamond > .quadrants > .bottom-quad,
.anom-bar-container.explained .danger-diamond > .quadrants > .top-quad,
.anom-bar-container.neutralized .danger-diamond > .quadrants > .top-quad,
.anom-bar-container.pending .danger-diamond > .quadrants > .top-quad {   /*  "transparent" bottoms/top icon backgrounds  */
  background-color: rgb(26, 26, 26) !important;   /*  body background color  */
}
.danger-diamond > .bottom-icon,
.anom-bar-container.pending .danger-diamond > .top-icon::before {   /*  esoteric, pending icon backgrounds  */
  background-color: rgb(3, 3, 3) !important;
}
 
.anom-bar > .bottom-box::before {
    background-color: var(--white-bar);
}
 
.top-left-box > .item {
  display: none;
}
 
/* ---- CUSTOM SYNTAX ---- */
 
.darkbox {
    background-color: #21252E;
    border-left: solid 0.26rem var(--accentColor);
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Observation Site-04

---

Assigned Site	Site Director	Research Head	Assigned Task Force
Observation Site-04	Jean Aktus	Dr. Elongee Williams	N/A

---

Display Archived Containment Procedures

Notes: SCP-X originally referred to SCP-X-A prior to it's resignation on Incident Log-XXXX-01.

SCP-X cannot and should not be contained. Containment efforts are to focus on monitoring SCP-X for activity and falsifying/suppressing information related to the entity.

Updated Containment Procedures: There is no known method of effectively containing SCP-X-B due to its nature and location. All space agencies³ have obligated to conceal information regarding SCP-X from the general public. Personnel stationed at Observation Site-04 are to monitor SCP-X-A and -B for activity. In the event SCP-X-A ceases to function or fails to counteract SCP-X-B, all Foundation facilities are to enact emergency protocols in preparation for an XK-Class "End of the World" scenario.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation number given to 2 anomalous humanoids located outside of Earth, referred to as SCP-X-A, and -B.

SCP-XXXX-A is a humanoid entity currently situated above America, approximately 130,000 km from Observation Site-04. Its facial features and gender are indistinguishable due to the light aura emitting from its body. SCP-X-A can produce radio transmissions as a form of communication; despite this, no reports of anomalous transmissions originating from SCP-X-A have been detected by the general public. The only record of this occurrence was when Observation Site-04 received a transmission from an untraceable source.

SCP-XXXX-A also is capable of manifesting two-dimensional ellipsoid rifts⁴ towards all incoming threats towards itself or Earth. However, the results of entering the dimensional pockets, the exact range of manifestations⁵, and the full scope of this anomalous property is pending further research. Previously, this anomalous trait was utilized to remove any asteroid nearby Earth. This directive, however, was changed to counteract the threat of SCP-X-B.

SCP-X-B is a humanoid covered in layers of metallic material around its body, located 100,000 km away from Jupiter. Despite its distance, it does not appear to be pulled into Jupiter from its gravitational pull. It is capable of launching any object within its vicinity to any location of its desire. How this is achieved is unknown, though is theorized to be caused by gravitational manipulation. Due to this anomalous capability, SCP-XXXX-B has been responsible for numerous reports of asteroids hurtling towards Earth.

However, SCP-XXXX-B is only capable of performing this type of action once or twice every day, depending on the size and mass of the asteroid in question. As of writing, SCP-XXXX-B has not been able to perform this type of action on any planetary body, believed to be that the mass of the planets in question are too great for SCP-XXXX-B's anomalous ability.

History: SCP-X-A has been known to the Foundation since the mid 18th century when astronomers witnessed an irregularly shaped spectrum of the light-emitting near Earth. Information suppression efforts were successful in concealing the anomaly from the general public. No incidents occurred until 23/7/2003 when NASA and Observation Site-04 detected an asteroid approximately 1000km in length⁶ heading towards Earth at high speeds.

Below is a log detailing the incident.

INCIDENT LOG-XXXX-01

---

[15:03]: NASA and Foundation Observation Sites detect Ceres heading towards Earth at high speeds. SCP-179 is seen motioning its right arm towards Ceres.

[15:04]: Personnel within Observation Sites immediately inform Overseers of the discovery.

[15:05]: Overseers unanimously declare an impending XK-Class scenario and orders all Foundation personnel to enact preparations for the event.

[15:06]: Ceres is 450, 000km away from Earth.

[15:07]: By vote 13-0, Overseer Council orders personnel at Area-69 to activate Protocol LAST HOPE⁷ against Ceres.

[15:08]: Personnel at Observation Site-04 report witnessing SCP-XXXX-A pulling its right arm behind its back before pointing it towards Ceres with its right-hand palm open. This causes a two-dimensional rift to manifest.

[15:09]: Ceres is 370, 000km from reaching Earth.

[15:10]: Ceres then enters the two-dimensional rift. Its current status is unknown.

[15:11]: Personnel at Area-69 informs Overseers of preparations of Protocol LAST HOPE's activation before being ordered to standby and await further orders.

[15:20]: Overseers conclude XK-Class scenario has been averted. All preparations for the scenario in question have ceased.

---

END LOG

Notes: For secrecy reasons, all personnel below LEVEL 5 clearance or those not assigned to Observation Sites have been misinformed that the declaration of the XK-Class scenario was a "test". An investigation was ordered by the Overseers to locate the cause of the incident. Based on research and multiple observations, SCP-X-B was discovered.

Addendum XXXX.1: Communication-Log

[CLASSIFIED OVERSEERS - EYES-ONLY]

The following addendum describes a communication attempt between Dr Elongee Williams when Observation Site-04 received radio transmissions from an unknown source.

Date: 05/9/2003

Interviewer: Dr Elongee Williams

Interviewee: SCP-X-A

BEGIN LOG

---

Dr. Williams: Hello? Whom am I speaking to?

SCP-X-A: It is the one who you refer to as "SCP-X-A".

Dr. Williams: The same one who's protected Earth countless times?

SCP-X-A: Yes.

Dr. Williams: Okay, my name is Dr Elongee Williams. What is yours?

SCP-X-A: My name is Elizabeth Cornell. I have been watching this world for many centuries. Including you, SCP Foundation.

Dr. Williams: How, how did you know about us?

SCP-X-A: Like I said; I've been watching this world for many centuries. I know of the great things you've done to protect your planet, Foundation.

Dr. Williams: Thank you, it means a lot. Why are you sending us this transmission?

SCP-X-A: To tell you about my origins. I know you have watched me for countless year's and are aware of my protection against it. You are amazed by protection, fascinated by my actions. But there is one thing all of you have a thing in common: Curiosity. That type of emotion can be either a blessing or a curse. Today, I will guarantee it will be a blessing.

Dr. Williams: Proceed.

There is silence for a few seconds

SCP-X-A: I was born on Earth a long, long time ago. In a world far more advanced than the current day. My only parent was my mother. She, she never told me about what happened to my father. When I was just 7, my mother hooked me up with a military group called the "Galactic Nations", a group run by multiple countries where they defend Earth and attack other planets for war. They accept anyone who wants to join them, including children. I didn't go to school at all or live a life like the rest of the children. I've trained and trained every single day.

Not once did I felt motivated from joining them. I wanted to quit, but I couldn't do it without parental consent. My mother was no better, either. When I get home from training, they would teach me more about our enemy's strengths, weaknesses and history, every single day. I felt defeated. I didn't feel like I was being raised by my parents, either. They were more like… An "extra general"? Perhaps.

Dr. Williams: And why did she send you there?

There is a pause

SCP-X-A: I asked my mother why she would do this. She told me it was to help "serve my country". She numerously told me stories about her time in the Galactic Nations before retiring to look after me.

I didn't believe her. I had thoughts, theories of why but they just never clicked. Then one day I was talking about my mother with one of my friends in the cafeteria. She told me my mother was involved in an attack that killed a majority of her comrades. She was badly wounded with a missing left arm. Luckily, she was one of the very few to be evacuated. One of the soldiers found her and dragged her away to one of the ships retreating. She received a bionic hand shortly after.

That's when I realized why mother sent me to the military; as a method of getting revenge on The Imperials for what happened to her. I never discussed this topic with her because I knew there was going to be trouble.

Somehow, I managed to become a worthy soldier for the "Galactic Nations" and travelled throughout the Galaxy. However, my position was only positioned around Earth's orbit as a defence from other rivals. Earth had many foes, but the one kicker is an alien force called " The Imperials"⁸. They have a burning hatred against humanity and had often come to exterminate us all.

Dr Williams: Why do The Imperials hate you?

SCP-X-A: I found a log hidden in some files that describes it and the formation of "The Imperials". In it, humanity invaded a planet inhabited by aliens for "further colonization". A majority of the aliens were killed off or taken prisoners. Some, however, managed to flee and escape to other planets for assistance. Ever since then, the hatred and strength from The Imperials grew stronger.

Dr. Williams: Have you told anyone about it?

SCP-X-A: No.

Dr. Williams: Why?

SCP-X-A: What good would come out if I did that, anyway? I would be punished and the truth would have been covered up. Life would continue without me.

Dr. Williams: I, I am sorry. I should not have asked that question. Please, continue.

SCP-X-A: Then that day came. Ships from The Imperials were attacking us and headed towards Earth. We stood our ground and prepared for battle. The next part…

There is a pause for a few seconds as SCP-X-A places its hand onto its head before lowering it

I'm, I'm sorry, I'm still traumatized about that incident. Every time I think about the incident, I still get shivers down my spine.

We lost, they were too strong. Our ship crashed landed near a mountain and only a few of us survived. We retreated to an underground facility underneath it. Other military officers and civilians were in there, too.

Dr. Williams: What did you do in the facility?

SCP-X-A: I couldn't do anything. Everyone was dying outside, cities were being burned, and I hiding in there like a useless coward. I wished it would all go away. All this battle, war, killing; gone. Then I thought about my mother and where she is. Even after all the things she put through when I was a kid… I still couldn't help, but care for her.

After weeks of hiding, the Imperials left. I guess they figured most of humanity was dead. We were still alive in that facility. I know it was dumb and suicidal of me to do this, but… I decided to leave the facility to find my mother. Don't worry, the facility came equipped with highly resistant suits against threats.

Dr. Williams: Did anyone try to stop you? Did they go with you?

SCP-X-A: No, the officers tried to stop me. They didn't want to come, either. They were too afraid I told them to let me go because the only things they're going to lose is a woman and suit. Eventually, they gave up and let me leave the place.

The city around me was fucked. Buildings made of rumble, corpses across the fields and streets littered with destroyed military equipment. It didn't surprise me at all as I expected it. I ran back to my home and she was gone. Her lifeless body was buried underneath rebar and rumble. I knew she was gone, yet I pulled her out of there. As expected; she was gone.

Dr. Williams: I, I am sorry about your loss.

SCP-X-A: It's okay, I should've been with her when it happened. I created a grave and buried her. If she was going to die, at least I want her to rest peacefully. I walked around the deserted world of was once my home. I searched for more survivors, anyone who could be alive. As I was walking around the streets of a city, I came across someone I wasn't expecting. A familiar face. The Director of the Galactic Nations, Director Davis Wilson. I asked him how was he alive and he told me whilst his base was under fire. He and the other officers managed to escape by an underground train. From there, they travelled to the facility beneath Yellowstone. He told me it's been activated.

Dr. Williams: I apologize for interrupting, but what has been "activated" in the facility?

SCP-X-A: Davis never specified, but I believe he's referring to the part where it is… How do I say this? Cloning humans? Creating them? I know it sounds absurd, but the goal of the facility was to be humanity's final failsafe. That is also the reason why it's underground; to make it more difficult for it to be destroyed.

Dr. Williams: Oh my god…

SCP-X-A: Is there something bothering you?

Dr. Williams can be heard discussing with several doctors with the microphone muffled

Dr. Williams: I'm sorry about that, please, continue.

SCP-X-A: I asked Davis what he was doing out there. He told me it was the same reason as anyone else would: To search for survivors. He then told me to come with him back to the facility. I asked him why and he responded, "You know the lowest sub-section where only those with the highest clearance can enter? I am taking you there." And so, we went and arrived at Sub-Section 3 of the facility. He verified the multiple verification codes and entered them. As we walked further, I discovered a white glowing orb-like material in there.

Dr. Williams: What was it called?

SCP-X-A: He told me it was the [NAME PENDING], an ancient artefact that was stolen from The Imperials. It is said that anyone human being who consumes the [NAME PENDING] will obtain super-human like power. What those abilities specifically are, however, were a mystery.

I was shocked. Was it the [NAME PENDING]? It was known as a myth, but I never knew it existed. He wanted to give it to me. I didn't bother asking why, I just wanted it but then a thought crossed my mind. I am going to help the ones who put us all here in this position? If it wasn't for the attack on the alien's planet, none of this would have happened.

But then I started to think about the innocent lives here lost from the battle that recently happened. The home and the world I lost. If I refused the offer, what good would that do to my people? It is not like it would magically make The Imperials no longer hate us and fix the world. If anything, it just gives the ones who destroyed my home another advantage. So, I accepted it.

I consumed the orbit and I felt every single part of my body feel relaxed and stronger. I could feel every single pain I endured from the battle removed before I flew up into the skies and above Earth. Just as I arrived, The Imperials left. I didn't bother going after them for fear they may return to Earth again and eradicate it. We were nowhere near prepared for another attack, anyway.

I'm not 100% certain, but I've seen a giant machine that was hurtling towards Earth centuries ago. I saw it crash into Jupiter's Moon before Jupiter itself. I am aware you guys know it exists, but my point is there is a chance that the machine originated from The Imperials. Or at least, someone who knows them.

Dr. Williams: Do you know the origins of the machine?

SCP-X-A: No, but it is possible it came from The Imperials. Or at least, someone who knows them. I don't know how, but The Imperials maybe now aware of our existence. They didn't send us to extinction like they thought they did. It failed so someone was either it's or went in their free will to assist the destroyer or finish the job. They haven't sent in their full force. I do not know why but since the people did not attack that outside of Earth, it may be because we are not an external threat.

Dr. Williams: And what would happen if the full force of The Imperials came?

SCP-X-A: It would be the end of us. We are not technologically prepared for the attack. Not like the one centuries ago.

Dr. Williams: I… I see. Will you be able to do hold the machine off? How much time left until you give out?

SCP-X-A: I do not know. I'm not sure if there even is a limit for how long I can obtain this power. What I do know, however, is that you should not worry. I promise you, I will be able to keep this parasite from destroying our home. I have proven you that many times and I will do it again.

Oh, and don't go around "colonizing" other planets, either.

---

END LOG

Notes: Following this, all personal involved in the Communication-Log we're administered Class-A amnestics. All information gathered from the Log have been kept in this addendum and away from the main document.

Addendum XXXX.2: Decrypted files

[CLASSIFIED OVERSEERS - EYES-ONLY]

On 10/9/2004, during a routine inspection at SCP-2000, personnel discovered two encrypted files hidden with the DEEPWELL servers. Below contains contents recovered from the now decrypted files:

---

FILE 1#

ID#: 623894-018 "The Imperials"

Status: Active

Threat Level: Black

Analysis of Activity: "The Imperials" appear to be mostly active in they're new planetary home, referred to as HZ-52983 "Mozar", with minimal travel to other planetary bodies inhabited by other alliances, with the most common motive being supply pickups.

It is unknown how "The Imperials" successfully grew more advanced and populated with a short period of time. What is known however is they appear to posses weaponry and forces that have been responsible for numerous casualties and provisional bases located outside of Earth, including Earth itself, though defense forces were successful to repel them. Despite this, repair damages, weapon improvements, and death compensations have been a constant financial issue for the Galactic Nations since the formation of the group. Efforts to neutralize this threat is ongoing, though caution is to be taken.

Group Description: "The Imperials" is a military force run by a Hipotayous Maspur (A specific breed of "Aliens"). It was formed in the year 245,741 when the Division-K was tasked with colonizing a NE-17431 "Tilo" for resources and human expansion. This colonization attempt costed the lives of several thousands of Hipotayous Maspur species, with most being neutralized or in human captivity. Only a few successfully retreated to "Mozar".

Since then, "The Imperials", as what the Hipotayous Maspur refer to they're military force, has been increasing exponentially, with assistance from other alliances and the primary being to send Human Civilization to extinction. They are highly sapient with more advanced equipment being discovered every month.

Neutralization of "The Imperials" and its leaders is considered a high-level priority.

This file has been last updated since 483,538 years ago.

---

FILE 2#

This is Director Davis and I'm currently housed at Facility-000 with the rest of the survivors. To anyone who hears this; do not go outside. The Imperials has destroyed a majority of the landscape and most facilities and bases are currently offline. They don't care who you are, weather your a child or an adult, they'll kill you the minute they see you.

If you do have to go outside, please try minimize as much distance and obtain as much cover from the sky as you can. Wear any cloaking equipment if available, stock up on food, water and medical supplies.

My deepest apologies, men. Humanity has failed.

Rewrite of addendum xxxx.3

[CLASSIFIED OVERSEERS - EYES-ONLY]

On 04/12/2004, O5-5 received the following message on her Foundation given smartphone.

---

Dr. Williams: Good day, Elizabeth.

SCP-X-A: Good morning, Williams. I know what you're going to discuss with me.

Dr. Williams: About what?

SCP-X-A: You were going to question my authenticity about a "giant asteroid" that was headed towards Earth centuries ago and most of humanity left. My story, however, does not contribute to a military force called "The Imperials" or a man telling others about a distraught planet.

Dr. Williams: Ho- how, did you know?

SCP-X-A: Have you forgotten about my ability to see everything around me?

Dr. Williams: Oh, yes, I have. I apologize for that. So, why did you lie to us?

SCP-X-A: To ensure you don't go after "The Imperials" after what they had done to our planet or make the same mistake centuries ago. To ensure you don't try and go after the thing that has made me become what I am today.

Dr. Williams: Elizabeth, we can barely travel to Mars. What makes you think we can accomplish fighting against an alien force?

SCP-X-A: I do not know. All I know is that there is a chance that one day you will make the same mistake as our ancestors did centuries ago. I cannot let that happen.

Dr. Williams: I understand, but since we are now discussing about this, will you at the very least tell us the full story of what happened?

There is silence as SCP-X-A ignores Dr. William's request

Dr. Williams: Elizabeth, I know what your trying to accomplish and I understand that, but I can assure you the Foundation will not go after "The Imperials" described in the file unless they are once again provocative. The Foundation is dedicated to protecting humanity, not destroying aliens.

More silence

SCP-X-A: I was born on Earth a long, long time ago. In a world far more advanced than the current day. My only parent was my mother. She, she never told me about what happened to my father. When I was just 7, my mother hooked me up with a military group called the "Galactic Nations", a group run by multiple countries where they defend Earth and attack other planets for war. They accept anyone who wants to join them, including children. I didn't go to school at all or live a life like the rest of the children. I've trained and trained every single day.

Not once did I felt motivated from joining them. I wanted to quit, but I couldn't do it without parental consent. My mother was no better, either. When I get home from training, they would teach me more about our enemy's strengths, weaknesses and history, every single day. I felt defeated. I didn't feel like I was being raised by my parents, either. They were more like… An "extra general"? Perhaps.

Dr. Williams: And why did she send you there?

There is a pause

SCP-X-A: I asked my mother why she would do this. She told me it was to help "serve my country". She numerously told me stories about her time in the Galactic Nations before retiring to look after me.

I didn't believe her. I had thoughts, theories of why but they just never clicked. Then one day I was talking about my mother with one of my friends in the cafeteria. She told me my mother was involved in an attack that killed a majority of her comrades. She was badly wounded with a missing left arm. Luckily, she was one of the very few to be evacuated. One of the soldiers found her and dragged her away to one of the ships retreating. She received a bionic hand shortly after.

That's when I realized why mother sent me to the military; as a method of getting revenge on The Imperials for what happened to her. I never discussed this topic with her because I knew there was going to be trouble.

Somehow, I managed to become a worthy soldier for them; however, I was only positioned around Earth's orbit as a defense from other rivals. Earth had many foes, but the biggest one is an alien force called " The Imperials". They have a burning hatred against humanity and had often come to exterminate us all. Then that day came. Ships from The Imperials were attacking us and headed towards Earth. We stood our ground and prepared for battle. The next part…

There is a pause for a few seconds as SCP-X-A places its hand onto its head before lowering it

I'm, I'm sorry, I'm still traumatized about that incident. Every time I think about the incident, I still get shivers down my spine.

We lost, they were too strong. Our ship crashed landed near a mountain and only a few of us survived. We retreated to an underground facility underneath it. Other military officers and civilians were in there, too.

Dr. Williams: What did you do in the facility?

SCP-X-A: I couldn't do anything. Everyone was dying outside, cities were being burned, and I hiding in there like a useless coward. I wished it would all go away. All this battle, war, killing; gone. Then I thought about my mother and where she is. Even after all the things she put through when I was a kid… I still couldn't help, but care for her.

After weeks of hiding, the Imperials left. I guess they figured most of humanity was dead. We were still alive in that facility. I know it was dumb and suicidal of me to do this, but… I decided to leave the facility to find my mother. Don't worry, the facility came equipped with highly resistant suits against threats.

Dr. Williams: Did anyone try to stop you? Did they go with you?

SCP-X-A: No, the officers tried to stop me. They didn't want to come, either. They were too afraid I told them to let me go because the only things they're going to lose is a woman and suit. Eventually, they gave up and let me leave the place.

The city around me was fucked. Buildings made of rumble, corpses across the fields and streets littered with destroyed military equipment. It didn't surprise me at all as I expected it. I ran back to my home and she was gone. Her lifeless body was buried underneath rebar and rumble. I knew she was gone, yet I pulled her out of there. As expected; she was gone.

Dr. Williams: I, I am sorry about your loss.

SCP-X-A: It's okay, I should've been with her when it happened. I created a grave and buried her. If she was going to die, at least I want her to rest peacefully. I walked around the deserted world of was once my home. I searched for more survivors, anyone who could be alive. As I was walking around the streets of a city, I came across someone I wasn't expecting. A familiar face. The Director of the Galactic Nations, Director Davis Wilson. I asked him how was he alive and he told me whilst his base was under fire. He and the other officers managed to escape by an underground train. From there, they travelled to the facility beneath Yellowstone. He told me it's been activated.

Dr. Williams: I apologize for interrupting, but what has been "activated" in the facility?

SCP-X-A: Davis never specified, but I believe he's referring to the part where it is… How do I say this? Cloning humans? Creating them? I know it sounds absurd, but the goal of the facility was to be humanity's final failsafe. That is also the reason why it's underground; to make it more difficult for it to be destroyed.

Dr. Williams: Oh my god…

SCP-X-A: Is there something bothering you?

Dr. Williams can be heard discussing with several doctors with the microphone muffled

Dr. Williams: I'm sorry about that, please, continue.

SCP-X-A: I asked Davis what he was doing out there. He told me it was the same reason as anyone else would: To search for survivors. He then told me to come with him back to the facility. I asked him why and he responded, "You know the lowest sub-section where only those with the highest clearance can enter? I am taking you there." And so, we went and arrived at Sub-Section 3 of the facility. He verified the multiple verification codes and entered them. As we walked further, I discovered a white glowing orb-like material in there.

Dr. Williams: What was it called?

SCP-X-A: He told me it was the [NAME PENDING], an ancient artefact that was stolen from The Imperials. It is said that anyone human being who consumes the [NAME PENDING] will obtain super-human like power. What those abilities specifically are, however, were a mystery.

I was shocked. Was it the [NAME PENDING]? It was known as a myth, but I never knew it existed. He wanted to give it to me. I didn't bother asking why, I just wanted it but then a thought crossed my mind. I am going to help the ones who put us all here in this position? If it wasn't for the attack on the alien's planet, none of this would have happened.

But then I started to think about the innocent lives here lost from the battle that recently happened. The home and the world I lost. If I refused the offer, what good would that do to my people? It is not like it would magically make The Imperials no longer hate us and fix the world. If anything, it just gives the ones who destroyed my home another advantage. So, I accepted it.

I consumed the orbit and I felt every single part of my body feel relaxed and stronger. I could feel every single pain I endured from the battle removed before I flew up into the skies and above Earth. Just as I arrived, The Imperials left. I didn't bother going after them for fear they may return to Earth again and eradicate it. We were nowhere near prepared for another attack, anyway.

I'm not 100% certain, but I've seen a giant machine that was hurtling towards Earth centuries ago. I saw it crash into Jupiter's Moon before Jupiter itself. I am aware you guys know it exists, but my point is there is a chance that the machine originated from The Imperials. Or at least, someone who knows them.

Dr. Williams: Do you know the origins of the machine?

SCP-X-A: No, but it is possible it came from The Imperials. Or at least, someone who knows them. I don't know how, but The Imperials maybe now aware of our existence. They didn't send us to extinction like they thought they did. It failed so someone was either it's or went in their free will to assist the destroyer or finish the job. They haven't sent in their full force. I do not know why but since the people did not attack that outside of Earth, it may be because we are not an external threat.

Dr. Williams: And what would happen if the full force of The Imperials came?

SCP-X-A: It would be the end of us. We are not technologically prepared for the attack. Not like the one centuries ago.

Dr. Williams: I… I see. Will you be able to do hold the machine off? How much time left until you give out?

SCP-X-A: I do not know. I'm not sure if there even is a limit for how long I can obtain this power. What I do know, however, is that you should not worry. I promise you, I will be able to keep this parasite from destroying our home. I have proven you that many times and I will do it again.

Oh, and don't go around "colonizing" other planets, either.

---

END LOG

[[footnoteblock]]

---

[END OF FILE]

---

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DATE: 08 Apr 2021 00:07

SPC-5436-A instance captured during Exploration Log-01

Item #: SCP-5436

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5436 is contained in a standard item storage unit in Site-17. Readings of SCP are only allowed during experiments, and no photos may be taken. Only personnel with positive feelings in regard to exact sciences may handle SCP-5436 unless otherwise specified for an experiment. Access to SCP-5436’s file is restricted under a Level 2 security clearance, and every test needs to be authorized by the project’s Head Researcher, currently Elisa Borges.

Experimentation with SCP-5436-A and SCP-5436-B is to be conducted in a standard medium security testing chamber. Test personnel must include at least two armed guards and one researcher skilled in mathematics, engineering, or physics. No D-class personnel are allowed to enter SCP-5436 regardless of their background. All researchers chosen to enter SCP-5436-1 must be strongly invested on their current projects and be highly loyalty to their work and to the Foundation.

Any non-Foundation personnel that come in contact with SCP-5436-A or SCP-5436-B are to be administered amnestics and released. All objects affected by SCP-5436 must be apprehended by the Foundation to be stabilized and later returned to where their place of apprehension. Stabilization procedures are comprised of exposing the affected book to subjects with positive feelings towards exact sciences until SCP-5436-A instances stop exiting SCP-5436-1.

Every person seen exiting SCP-5436-1 is to be given amnestic treatment and released as close as their last location as possible.

Basic supplies containing noodles, grain, fruits, vegetables, and water for ██ people are to be delivered to SCP-5436-2 monthly.

Description: SCP-5436 is a one-hundred-page college textbook titled “Advanced Guide to Multi-Variable Calculus and Four-dimensional Geometry.” written by Rosalind Hunter and Amalia Dubois. SCP-5436 is the only entrance to SCP-5436-1 that will not be neutralized by the already described stabilization procedures. Written contents do not deviate from its non-anomalous counterparts. Handling and reading it in a relaxed state will also cause no anomalous effects.

SCP-5436 can affect mathematics, physics, chemistry, and engineering textbooks. It will open an entrance to SCP-5436-1, from which SCP-5436-A instances and SCP-5436-B will exit. SCP-5436 can detect a person’s negative emotions and overall thoughts about the textbook’s subject. If it determines that the subject is interested in the above-mentioned topics and that they are struggling, suffering, or overall stressed with their work, SCP-5436-A instances and SCP-5436-B will materialize on the subject’s immediate vicinity.

SCP-5436-A instances are aggressive entities that originate from SCP-5436-1. SCP-5436-A’s size varies between 10cm to 5m, and they are most commonly found on the 40cm and 1m range. Usually, one to three instances exit SCP-5436-1 per reader. SCP-5436-A’s instance appearances vary widely. Studied specimens resembled big cats, cartilaginous fish, plants, and diverse types of beasts, such as dragons and gryphons. An entity’s aggressiveness has been observed to be directly related to its size and form: while an SCP-5436-A instance that resembles a rose will be mostly harmless, the same cannot be said for a dragon-like entity. SCP-5436-A’s appearance will depend on SCP-5436’s readers amount of distress. The more stressed the reader, the more dangerous is the SCP-5436-A entity.

After exiting SCP-5436, SCP-5436-A instances will attack the subject violently until they are subdued by physical force. If the subject is unable to subdue the entity, SCP-5436-A will drag it into SCP-5436-1. When subdued, SCP-5436-A will turn into a paper folding of the original creature that, when opened, contains exercises related to the textbook it originated from. When the problem is correctly solved, SCP-5436-A’s paper folding will reanimate and act with docility, from this point on, they are considered tamed. If the subject cannot solve the questions contained in SCP-5436-A, a swarm of dragonfly-like paper pieces will come out from SCP-5436 and drag the subject into SCP-5436-1. Accounts describe the process as disorienting, but in no way harmful.

SCP-5436-B is a middle-aged humanoid entity that exits SCP-5436 after SCP-5436-A instances are physically subdued. It claims to be SCP-5436-1’s first resident and only professor, responsible for his students’ learning and well-being. It will aid with SCP-5436-A’s solving, if requested, but will not interfere if subject fails. SCP-5436-B is SCP-5436-1’s maximum authority. It is responsible for the division of tasks between SCP-5436-1’s residents, for keeping the food stocks supplied, and for teaching and helping his students with solving SCP-5436-A’s contents. During Interview-01, SCP-5436-B claimed to be Professor Nicola Wegner of ██████ University. It claimed to have been writing its Ph.D. thesis on the graphical representation of four-dimensional functions when it entered SCP-5436-1, and that it owned its thesis success to all the work it did whilst in SCP-5436-1. SCP-5436-B can be summoned by asking it for help through SCP-5436. The professor will then exit the book unaccompanied. After learning about the problem’s nature, SCP-5436-B will discuss a price for a solution with its summoner. Every request will invariably involve entering SCP-5436-1. The professor’s request include but are not limited to:

- Cooking a meal.

- Organizing the library’s books.

- Cleaning the dishes.

- Taming and solving SCP-5436-A instances.

Experimenting with SCP-5436-B has found no anomalous traces or abilities.

SCP-5436-1 is the pocket dimension accessible through SCP-5436 and its influenced books. It consists solely of ███████ University and its adjacent facilities, such as housing, laundry, and sport courts. During SCP-5436 recovery it has been determined that SCP-5436-1 does not affect the original University and is, instead, a copy. An MTF consisting of hard sciences experts has been commissioned to explore SCP-5436-1. A total number of ███ students, as SCP-5436-B calls them, are currently living in SCP-5436-1. They were dragged into SCP-5436-1 after failing to tame the SCP-5436-A instances that attacked them. All students display a passionate interest for exact sciences and claim to be staying on SCP-5436-1 out of their own accords. Their origins and languages are diverse, and testing has shown that SCP-5436-1 possesses a language filter, that makes all the listeners hear each other’s speech in their native tongues both on real time and on recordings. This effect does not extend to written language.

Exploration Log-01:

Exploration-Log-01: Head Researcher Elisa Borges instructed subject D-78402 to read SCP-5436, solve all the exercises, redo all the demonstrations, and summarize all of its contents⁹. The task was developed to be as frustrating as possible, and subject was informed that it would not be allowed to leave the testing chambers until it was finished. Subject was provided access to rations, water, a thin mattress, and a private toilet.

It took seventy-three hours and forty-five minutes (73:45h)¹⁰ from the start of the experiment for the first SCP-5436-A entity to exit the book. The entity was similar in form to a stingray and, after it exited SCP-5436. Subject threw it to the ground, pinned it to the floor with its foot and beat the entity to submission with the room's chair. Subject fell to the ground from exhaustion and cried whist holding SCP-5436-A’s paper form. SCP-5436-B exited from the chamber’s bathroom and was surprised to see D-78402 in such a distressed state. It calmed the subject down and asked it what was wrong. D-78402 broke down and resisted Foundation’s orders for the testing. Through the chamber’s speakers, Dr. Borges explained the experiment’s procedures and expectations to SCP-5436-B, who shook its head and proposed a deal with the subject. The professor asked it if it would enter SCP-5436-1 with it and solve some SCP-5436-A’s instances in exchange for his help with the task Dr. Borges described. D-78402 was instructed to agree.

Subject was equipped with the standard communication devices, a digital camera connected to the testing chamber’s monitors, one (1) one-liter water bottle, one (1) lined notebook, one (1) calculator, one (1) ballpoint pen, and one (1) energy bar. SCP-5436-B instructed the subject to step on SCP-5436. D-78402 was able to sink down into SCP-5436’s pages as though stepping into a body of water. After entering SCP-5436 completely, the subject was instructed to turn the camera on.

Exploration Video Log Transcript

Explorer: D-78402

[BEGIN LOG]

Camera activates, audio activates. Subject stands in what was later identified to be █████████ University’s courtyard. The sky is shady and there are vines and trees near the walls. Entities visually indistinguishable from humans walk fast around the corridors with books in hand, and they seem undisturbed by D-78402’s presence. Further testing has been commissioned to determine the nature of said entities. They will for now be referred to as “students”, since that is how SCP-5436-B addresses them.

SCP-5436-B: Follow me. I’ll show you around.

Subject follows SCP-5436-B through corridors filled with students. They greet the professor cheerfully and ask it about the “newbie” it brings along. SCP-5436-B answers them in a friendly manner and explains that D-78402 was visiting the Campus’s facilities to be tested. Many students wish D-78402 good luck. The professor walks with D-78402 until they reach an ample room on the outskirts of the University’s building. It appears to be the University’s library. All four walls are covered with bookshelves, and circular tables are scattered across the floor. Students occupy most of the tables. On each of the tables there is a basket, from which the students take pieces of paper and unfold them. Many SCP-5436 entities roam the space freely, playing between themselves and with the students.

SCP-5436-B: I don’t want to give you any work you cannot finish… How good at math are you?

D-78402: I used to be a math major, actually.

SCP-5436-B seems pleased with the answer and points D-78402 over to a desk occupied by other students. On their pages are drawings of graphics, of geometric solids and figures, and many lines of problem solving. The students do not interrupt their work when they greet the subject.

SCP-5436-B: A fellow man of culture, I see. Did you get to write a thesis?

D-78402: I don’t really think my thesis is all still important.

D-78402 was instructed to inform SCP-5436-B about his works

D-78402: I used to work on the linearization of differential equations.

SCP-5436-B: That will be hard to find anything on this subject, really, problems this complex don't come here often… but we can start with some calculus, if you wish to.

SCP-5436-B handed D-78402 a basket full of inert and diverse SCP-5436-A instances. A bull-headed humanoid, a scorpion, an owl, a rose, and a dragon were visible in the basket. SCP-5436-B explains that the problems D-78402 is to solve are written inside each figurine, and that he was to unfold them, solve the problems and write the answer on the origami paper. The professor said that the figurines would come to life, and that that was normal. SCP-5436-B asks D-78402 to let him know when it is finished. Problems included:

1- Determine the derivative of f (x)=6x³−9x+4

2- Evaluate ∫ 4/(x²+5x−14) dx

3- Sketch the graph of y²/9+z²=1

Subject spent six hours emptying the basket. Subject did not eat, drink, or leave his seat. During his work, D-78402 appeared to be relaxed and intensely focused. Other students asked the subject for help with their problems and assisted D-78402 when requested. Subject was instructed not to talk more than the necessary to them. Experiments are being scheduled to confirm if D-78402’s work state was altered by any anomalous influences present in that space. After going through every problem in the basket, D-78402 turned around in search of SCP-5436-B, but the professor was already standing behind it. A paper hibiscus flower is secured behind its ear and a paper squirrel is on its coat pocket.

SCP-5436-B: Truly outstanding work, I’m pleased with your help. I'll fetch your solution, give me just one second.

The professor walked out of sight, and D-78402 was instructed to wait. A dog-like SCP-5436-A entity approached it and climbed to its lap. After three minutes, SCP-5436-B came back holding a dark cloth bag, which it handed to the subject. On its insides were clothes, hygiene products, a change of clothes, a leather-bound notebook, and a fountain pen.

D-78402: This is not a part of the deal.

SCP-5436-B: No, this is an invitation. You can go back if you wish, just step on the book and you will be at the testing chamber, but I think you can agree

D-78402: No. Please, thank you.

Dr. Borges herself told subject to “drop its bullshit”. Subject removed its communication devices. That was when the professor noticed the camera.

SCP-5436-B: Take this ugly jumper off. My students will show you our free spots. Let me just… there. Off you go.

SCP-5436-B took the camera out off D-78402 and spoke directly into it.

SCP-5436-B: An amazing experiment, I see. Torturing a fellow scientist with a subject so close to my heart. Did you get all the answers you wanted?

The professor equipped D-78402’s communication devices and left the library. From this point on, subject D-78402 is considered lost. Head Researcher Elisa Borges was given full control of communications. SCP-5436-B continued shortly after.

SCP-5436-B: If you didn’t, how many more guinea pigs will you send? You were waiting for something gory, weren’t you? Sventy-three hours reading my book. This is an affront, really, and I will take it as an offence. I bet you wished that problem had eviscerated Mathias; you didn’t even give him any weapons to fight with. Are you salty that he is free and not dead?

E. Borges: We understand your ethical concerns, and we meant no offence, but I think you can understand why your situation has sparked our interest. Would you agree to answer some of our questions, so we don't have to send anymore test subjects?

The professor laughs and turns the camera to the University’s courtyard. It is now dark and the buildings’ windows on the other side are lit. There are no students in the hallway, and the sound of distant conversations can be barely heard. It is possible to hear the professor sitting on the grass and sighing into the microphone.

SCP-5436-B: What a terrible destiny would it be to be sent here, right? The sky above my head, grass under my feet. I will answer your questions, tough. This is still my job, as a professor.

[END LOG]

Interview Log-01:

Interview Log-01: The following interview was recorded through the camera equipped by D-78402 during Exploration Log-01. SCP-5436-B positioned the camera in its office, and Head Researcher Elisa Borges stayed in the monitoring room.

[Begin Log]

Dr. Borges: Thank you for accepting our offer. Can you begin by stating your full name?

SCP-5436-B: For the records? I am Professor Nicola Wegner, owner of the book you stole.

Dr. Borges: We apologize for the unintentional insult. Can you talk more about the book and its pocket dimension?

SCP-5436-B: Do you have any idea how little this rules out?

Dr. Borges: How did you first access the place?

SCP-5436-B takes a deep swig from its mug.

SCP-5436-B: I was reading this book

Dr. Borges: “Advanced Guide to Multi-Variable Calculus and Four-dimensional Geometry”

SCP-5436-B: Yes, thank you. It was for my PhD thesis, and it wasn’t going well. I was working on the regularities of measures beyond the third dimension and all derivatives from the function contained at least four variables, and I could not get rid of them to plot the function on a three-dimensional space. It was a nightmare! I tried transposing the plane matrices, taking another derivative of the function, but that would imply the loss of an important variable which I could simply not afford. I tried to arbitrarily determine the variable, but doing that would lead to significant variations from my results, and…

Dr. Borges: Please do not get sidetracked, professor.

SCP-5436-B: Yes, I am sorry. I was reading that book, and it was really late at night. I was so tired I knew that I would not take the train back to my place, so I accepted I was going to sleep in the library. When I saw an origami between the pages of my book, I was sure I went mad, but when I touched it, it came to life. It attacked me, until now I can’t really describe what it is, but it had feathery wings, and claws that tore my arms. I still have the scars. Do you want to see them?

Dr. Borges: No.

SCP-5436-B: Good enough. It threw me to the ground, and the next thing I know is that I was being dragged into the book by a swarm of paper.

SCP-5436-B took another sip from its mug and laughed.

SCP-5436-B: Dragged into the book. Am I even listening to myself? It is completely illogical. My mandatory physics class made it very clear that matter cannot occupy the same space as matter at the same time, and that time is better measured by the speed of light, than by the ticking of the clock that was on my wrist, but I entered the book. I came out the other way in the same library I was sleeping in, but the creature was still there. I threw my papers at it and I ran to the basement. There were some broken pipes there, and I could listen to the thing getting closer, so I just held it as tight as I could and kept on holding into it as the creature charged into me. Somehow, I know it meant no harm. Does that make sense?

After a moment of silence, Dr. Borges responded.

Dr. Borges: It does. Please go on.

SCP-5436-B: But it charged into me, and it got impaled on that broken, rusty pipe. I watched it contorting into a beautiful origami creature. But it was suffering, and I could not allow a creature of such beauty to suffer. It asked me to unfold it, which I did. Inside it were equations like the ones I was solving, but they were easier, it was as if they were preparing me for my work.

Dr. Borges: Were those the same creatures solved by D-78402?

SCP-5436-B: By who?

Dr. Borges: The D-class subject you took in.

SCP-5436-B: By who?

Dr. Borges: Mathias Lorenz.

SCP-5436-B: I see. No, it is all very personal, very intimate. He probably got some questions on problems he was struggling with; I didn’t check, I just needed the basket to be done.

Dr. Borges: Why?

SCP-5436-B: Those creatures are such sweethearts after you tame them, but they first need to be tamed. Since the University’s population has started to increase, all kinds of monsters have been attacking the building. We rotate taming and capturing cycles to keep things working there, because if we don’t, the creatures would become unmanageable. Last month a lady got stung by a scorpion. It was really hard to deal with the poison.

Dr. Borges: Can you explain where they come from?

SCP-5436-B: On the University, they just appear, they walk in from the fields. We don’t know how they came to be, or how they are created, they just are, and we deal with them.

Dr. Borges: Talk more about the other residents. Who are they? Where did they come from? Can they leave?

SCP-5436-B: Calm down, Miss Borges, I’m not leaving anytime soon. They are math enthusiasts, some from high school, some from college, some professors, most of them workers who spared all free time for their passion. They come from all over the globe, they told me, by the same way I came. And of course, they can leave anytime they want, we are not a prison, we are a school. Still, we are struggling because too many people quitted. Their problems don’t disappear, and they become our problems.

Dr. Borges: From all over the world, you say? How do you communicate?

SCP-5436-B: We talk?

Dr. Borges: Language wise.

SCP-5436-B: In English?

Dr. Borges: So, every math enthusiast from around the world speaks English?

SCP-5436-B sits back on its chair and scratches its head.

SCP-5436-B: Listen, I've been fighting origami math problems for a while now. Don't blame me for forgetting that language exists.

Experiments were commissioned to understand SCP-5436's effects on communication.

Dr. Borges: Going back to the students. Why do they choose to stay?

SCP-5436-B: I am sure you would take any help you could take for a hard work, say, a test, a challenge, a PhD thesis. Besides, I tested this myself, I’m practically a scientist, just like you want to be, time runs on different planes here and there. That gives my students almost limitless time to finish their assignments.

Dr. Borges: Why do you call them your students?

SCP-5436-B: Because I teach them, I help them, and I watch them go. Just like I help anyone that calls.

Dr. Borges: Why haven’t you left yet?

SCP-5436-B: This place helped me, I’m in debt. There is still a lot of work to be done.

Dr. Borges: Can other students be summoned the same way you are?

SCP-5436-B: Are any other students professors? I am the one that answers the requests; the others have more work to do.

Dr. Borges: I understand that we have not met each other on the best of terms, but I hope we can get along. We want to understand you and your world better, and interviews are not enough for this. Would you agree with more ethical experiments? Say, welcoming one of our researchers into the University as one of your students, for example?

SCP-5436-B: As I said, I have no control over who comes in and out of here, and if you ask for my help, I will come. I am a professor, I won’t judge you, but what you did to Mathias… I can’t say I understand. My wish is that you never do this again, I will welcome your personnel, but my class is a safe space, and your consciousness is up to you.

Dr. Borges: I see. Those were all the questions we had for you right now. We will allow you to keep the camera and the communication devices in case you want to get in contact with us.

SCP-5436-B: I doubt it will be necessary, but I appreciate the gesture.

[END LOG]

Closing Statement: Because of the high possibility of escape, no more D-class personnel were sent into SCP-5436-1. Head Research decided to test SCP-5436-A's appearance patterns and SCP-5436-B's problem-solving capabilities further using Foundation researchers as readers for SCP-5436 and guards to help tame SCP-5436 instances.

[[footnoteblock]]

« SCP-XXXW | SCP-5436 | SCP-XXXY > >

Wow! You flipped a card and got: scolan16!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 22:35

CAPTION-GOES-HERE

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a 60 x 30 x 40 cm vivarium. The glass should be tempered borosilicate glass, in case of a breach attempt. In the case of a breach attempt, the vivarium should be chilled until SCP-XXXX becomes docile. Regular maintenance is to be done on the vivarium.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an entity resembling an Eastern Box Turtle (Terrapene carolina carolina), approximately 13.7 cm in length. SCP-XXXX is capable of rapidly increasing its body heat and will radiate heat. When in this state, SCP-XXXX will become agitated and will attempt to attack anything in its line of sight.

SCP-XXXX was discovered after many reports of unusual heat in the area of [REDACTED]. No other instances of SCP-XXXX have been found since then,

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: What Does God Need With A Starship?!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 22:02

Starborn "Gods", the work of literature at the center of SCP-XXXX.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: Although SCP-XXXX as an event has concluded, further monitoring of its participants are necessary. The correspondence and conversation of these participants are to be monitored for details regarding SCP-XXXX.

The Space Shuttle Enterprise remains missing as of 2020. Foundation satellites, as well as personnel on SCP-2117, are to monitor the solar system in an attempt to discern its location, and attempt containment of it when it is located. The Enterprise is currently being considered for designation under a separate SCP filing.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to an anomalous legal trial involving Belgian author, conspiracy theorist, and self-proclaimed UFOlogist Ulrich von Eichmann.¹¹ Von Eichmann himself is the defendant in the case.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a masculine, bearded humanoid of Greek descent, standing at 1.3m and mildly obese.
They act as von Eichmann's defense attorney, claiming to be 'state-appointed'. They have shown perfect recall of all materials related to the case, and are apparently capable of absorbing written material through touch; the medium that the writing is on dissolves into liquid following this process. SCP-XXXX-1 is fluent in Greek and English, and wears a grey suit with a hemlock flower on their left lapel.

SCP-XXXX 2 is a feminine humanoid of Greek descent wearing black robes and a purple blindfold, acting as the impartial judge in SC[[include :scp-wiki:theme:black-highlighter-theme]]

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: Although SCP-XXXX as an event has concluded, further monitoring of its participants are necessary. The correspondence and conversation of these participants are to be monitored for details regarding SCP-XXXX.

The Space Shuttle Enterprise remains missing as of 2020. Foundation satellites, as well as personnel on SCP-2117, are to monitor the solar system in an attempt to discern its location, and attempt containment of it when it is located. The Enterprise is currently being considered for designation under a separate SCP filing.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to an anomalous legal trial involving Belgian author, conspiracy theorist, and self-proclaimed UFOlogist Ulrich von Eichmann.¹² Von Eichmann himself is the defendant in the case.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a masculine, bearded humanoid of Greek descent, standing at 1.3m and mildly obese.
They act as von Eichmann's defense attorney, claiming to be 'state-appointed'. They have shown perfect recall of all materials related to the case, and are apparently capable of absorbing written material through touch; the medium that the writing is on dissolves into liquid following this process. SCP-XXXX-1 is fluent in Greek and English, and wears a grey suit with a hemlock flower on their left lapel.

SCP-XXXX 2 is a feminine humanoid of Greek descent wearing black robes and a purple blindfold, acting as the impartial judge in SCP-XXXX. Despite being blindfolded (and, if court transcripts are to be believed, lacking sight entirely), SCP-XXXX-2 displays omniscience within their courtroom, knowing the actions of all individuals within the court. SCP-XXXX-2 is capable of bilocation, and has used this ability to act as their own bailiff, ejecting disruptive elements from their courtroom.

SCP-XXXX-3 is a masculine humanoid of unclear descent, with the head of an African sacred ibis (Threskiornis aethiopicus), acting as the court recorder for SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX-3 has been cooperative with Foundation efforts towards obtaining information regarding SCP-XXXX, due to the proceedings being 'public record.' Recovered footage has shown SCP-XXXX-3 writing with, alternately, a stenotype, quill, pencil and paper, typewriter, and laptop computer.

SCP-XXXX-4 designates the jury as a whole, which is made up of anywhere from 200 to 400 members. The exact makeup of the jury is unknown, as entry to the jury box requires that the jurors wear robes and masks at all times, but several members do not have a humanoid body model.

The legal counsel for the plaintiffs is already documented with an SCP designation under SCP-3807. SCP-3807 claims to be representing at least five different plaintiffs in a class-action lawsuit against von Eichmann, but is 'not at liberty to discuss their clients.'

SCP-XXXX began in 2018, following von Eichmann being served summons by SCP-3807 at a UFOlogy conference in Brussels. Von Eichmann disposed of the summons, only to find over four hundred additional copies in their hotel room. SCP-3807 proceeded to abduct them from the lobby of their hotel. An abridged version of the summons and accompanying letter of complaint are below:

To: Ulrich von Eichmann

You have been summoned to the First Celestial Court of Invidia¹³ for hearing of a civil lawsuit within 0 days. Failure to respond to this summons will result in a judgement by default against you by the plaintiff for relief requested in the accompanying complaint.

CELESTIAL COURT OF INVIDIA

The Society for the Preservation and Promotion
of Ancient and Extinct Cultures

versus Civil Case 00001

Ulrich von Eichmann

COMPLAINT

Plaintiffs complain against Defendant as follows:

1. On October 19th, 1983, Defendant published the book Starborn 'Gods', a manuscript which alleges that civilizations both extinct and extant (particularly the inhabitants of Kemet,¹⁴ the Acoma,¹⁵ the Rapa Nui,¹⁶ the Nazca,¹⁷ and Those Who Built the Place of Reeds¹⁸) could not have built their own temples, monuments and assorted architecture, and associated technology and infrastructure needed to create said temples, monuments and assorted architecture, due to 'mental and technological simplicity' in these regions.

2. An updated version of this manuscript, published on September 10th, 2017, uses forged items in order to make a claim that these civilizations were definitively visited by alien beings who conferred on them the tools and knowledge. These forgeries depict deities emerging from spaceship-like constructions, which is a clear falsehood.

3. This injury has caused disruption among the cultural noospheres of the plaintiff, as well as mortal (i.e. human) parties related to the plaintiff. Furthermore, several individuals represented by the plaintiff have been dealt permanent psychic harm. The continued existence of Starborn 'Gods' worsens this injury due to the spread of misinformation.

DEMAND FOR RELIEF

The plaintiffs demand the immediate retraction of Herr von Eichmann's manuscript, the discontinuation of its printing, and destruction of all unsold copies, and a written apology. Furthermore, Herr von Eichmann is to pay all royalties earned from Starborn 'Gods' for the past twenty-five years to the Plaintiff, as well as the forfeiting of their heart.

The plaintiffs demand a jury.

This summons must be answered immediately. Failure to do so will result in collection by the plaintiff's representative, Seth Hasani, for the immediate commencement of the hearing.

Addendum: Foundation interaction with SCP-XXXX: In May of 2018, Jr. Researcher Thomas Gardener was allowed a week-long leave for jury duty on a civil case. Gardener proceeded to vanish for over five weeks, with various locator beacons that would have been on their person (including a sub-dermal chip) having been rendered non-functional. At the time, it was believed that Gardener had gone AWOL.

On June 25th, 2018, Gardener's beacon was detected in Cairo, Egypt. Foundation agents were sent to detain him for immediate interrogation and trial. Approximately three hours into their interrogation, the following occurred:

Agent Tayfur: Do we have to start breaking bones?

Jr. Res. Gardener: I'm telling you the truth!

Agent Tayfur: There is no way you were in a courtroom for five weeks, and nowhere in the world uses a jury that big.

Js. Res. Gardener: I swear, I was. Look, if you'd just look at my body camera, I forgot to take it off when I went in—

Agent Tayfur: If you were in court, what was the case about?

Jr. Res. Gardener: I don't think I'm allowed to—

At this point, the door to the interrogation room opened, despite the door appearing to be closed from the outside. SCP-3807 and SCP-XXXX-3 enter. SCP-3807 looks visibly flustered.

SCP-3807: First of all, I would like to apologize. We didn't mean for such great temporal displacement to take place, but—

Agent Tayfur draws their firearm and attempts to discharge it at SCP-3807. The powder in their bullets does not ignite. They then attempt to draw their combat knife, which results in the blade breaking off in the sheathe.

SCP-3807: We're trying to have a conversation here.

Jr. Res. Gardener: Jesus Christ, what the fuck?

SCP-3807: I do apologize for the state you find yourself in. I've come to provide recompense.

Agent Tayfur: What the hell are you talking about?

SCP-XXXX-3 produces a USB drive and places it on the table.

SCP-XXXX-3: Within this you'll find transcripts of the trial which Mr. Gardener was a juror on, as well as photographic evidence of his presence, and some miscellaneous details. I know how much you like hoarding knowledge.

Agent Tayfur: Bullshit.

SCP-XXXX-3: You could also not report two Type-Black entities entering an interrogation and freeing your prisoner.

Agent Tayfur What do you mean—

At this point, SCP-3807 has untied Gardener and is leading him towards the door. Agent Tayfur lunges at them, but suddenly finds himself lost in a field of reeds.

SCP-XXXX-3: We can't have that. Sorry. Oh, and if you try destroying the drive, I think you'll find that hippos aren't as extinct in the Nile as you'd like to believe.

SCP-3087: What have I told you about gloating, Thoth?

SCP-XXXX-3: Sometimes, father, I think you use the Hellenic pronunciation on purpose.

A large flock of African sacred ibises appear out of the reeds and surround Agent Tayfur as he attempts to exit the field. He emerges half an hour later. By this time, another copy of the USB drive had been delivered to Gardener's team lead and site director.

The transcripts present on SCP-XXXX detail another Foundation interaction. Dr. Miguel Cortez, a Foundation Egyptologist at Site-29, was allowed a one-day leave in May of 2018 to act as an expert witness in a trial on antiquities theft; Dr. Cortez has done this several times in his career, both prior to and during his tenure in the Foundation. Following his testimony, he was unable to provide a clear recollection of the details regarding the trial, until viewing this transcript.

Miguel Cortez, PhD, after having been first duly sworn,¹⁹ did testify as follows:

DIRECT EXAMINATION

BY MR. HASANI

Q: Could you please state your name for the record?

A: What the hell is going on here? Are you—

Q: Please state your name.

A: Uh. Dr. Miguel Cortez.

Q: Do you know why you're here?

A: No, but given that I'm in the witness stand, I'm assuming that I'm not about to be fed to Ammit.

Q: Are you telling me you don't know why you're here?

A: No. I… think I'm an expert witness?

Q: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the organization alternately called the Foundation, the Jailers, 'Those Bastards Who Ripped Off the Center's Acronym Wrong', etc?

A: I… plead the fifth?

Q: I don't know what that means. Just answer the question, please.

A: Are all of you… anomalous? In the know?

Q: Yes, we are.

MR. SOCRATES
Objection, Your Honor. Relevance?

THE COURT
Mr. Hasani?

MR. HASANI
We've run into a snag. There's meant to be a… measure that informs you of the details of the case going in, but your brain is so full of counter-memes and anti-memes and Blasphemy-only-knows what else that it doesn't work. So if you could just…

THE COURT
Please strike that from the record. Dr. Cortez, I do not tolerate profanity in my court, no matter how creative.

Let the record show that Mr. Hasani has conferred the knowledge onto the witness.²⁰ Mr. Socrates, your objection is overruled.

MR. HASANI:
Q: Do you understand now?

A: My head is killing me. But I understand, I think.

Q: With the assurance that all here know of your organization, are you part of the Foundation?

A: I am.

Q: Do you recognize the defendant?

A: Yeah. Ulrich von Eichmann.

Q: What is your opinion of him?

A: At least Chariots of the Gods? was well-written. Starborn 'Gods' is nonsense atop pseudoscience.

Q: Starborn 'Gods' makes the claim that the Pyramid of Cheops could not have been constructed using technology available at the time. What is your opinion on this?

A: I'm not going to laugh, because I'm not sure how it would look in the transcript. But that's my opinion.

Q: How could they have built the Pyramids, then?

A: You're asking me this? You? Aren't you the Set?

Q: Autographs later. For now, humor me. Please.

A: For one, incredibly skilled workers. They weren't slave labor, like the defendant's manuscript attests. They were paid well and got to live next to the construction site. Engineers worked for years to figure out a system of ramps, pulleys, wheels and lord knows what else to build them. We don't know the exact details, but we know that they were built by human beings.

Q: I suppose you would know better than most? Time travel and all?

A: We… don't have time travel.

Q: …oh. I motion for that to be stricken from the record?

A: Wait, do we?

Q: Objection. Irrelevant.

A: You… don't object to the witness. Do you?

Q: Look, I'm used to having cases dismissed on account of a choir using a courtroom for practice, or the prosecution eating their own evidence. Actually having to litigate something that isn't trial by combat is new territory for me.

A: And the defense is Socrates. Yikes.

Q: Ra help me.

MR. HASANI

Your honor, I tender the witness to the defense.

BY MR. SOCRATES
Q: How long have you been with the Foundation?

A: Seven years.

Q: Would you say that Starborn 'Gods' or works like it pose a threat to the integrity of your so-called veil?

A: No.

Q: Why is that?

A: Because it's utter bunk.

Q: Is there evidence of extraterrestrial visitation in the time defined as 'Before Common Era'?

A: Admittedly, there is some.

Q: Elaborate.

A: It's a fringe theory, even in the Foundation. Supposedly, the Mitochondrial Eve— a woman whose DNA is present in all human mitochondria— was extraterrestrial in origin, as is evident by the presence of triple-helix mitochondrial DNA among the population of countries such as Gambia and the Ukraine.

Q: So, it's possible that extraterrestrials may have shaped human civilization in some way?

A: Anything's possible. Even if extraterrestrials did visit humanity during ancient times, it would have had little effect— the connections we have on Earth today would be mind-boggling to anyone even three hundred years ago, let alone three-thousand.

Q: So, you're saying that there's a possibility that—

A: [interjecting] May I be permitted some irony?

Q: I suppose?

A: von Eichmann's work, and the work of every other individual who purports the existence of ancient aliens, is nothing short of creationism.²¹

Q: You do realize that all individuals in this court, barring myself, yourself and the defendant, are some form of deity, and therefore creators?

A: Hence the irony. I mean no offense to you, your Honor, but what von Eichmann is saying is, essentially, 'no human could have accomplished what these civilizations did.' This same man held a conference in Rome in 1999, less than half a mile away from the Colosseum.

Q: The Colosseum was built over 2500 years later than the pyramids. Technology had advanced by then, surely?

A: That's not the point. Von Eichmann makes the argument that the works he discusses in Starborn 'Gods' are too perfect to be created by humans that he calls 'primitive' and 'dull.' He treats the Egyptian civilization like they're Neanderthals banging rocks together to crush salt, to say nothing of the way the Pueblo are talked about.

Q: And how are the Pueblo talked about?

A: He literally says that they didn't have the know-how to stack up stones to build a wall.

Q: What would his motive be to portray history in the way you allege?

A: I think that's a question for you to answer.

Q: I don't follow.

A: And it's not my job to ask those questions.

Q: But is there any possibility these works could have been built by extraterrestrials?

A: There is some possibility. But it is very, very slim.²²

MR. SOCRATES: No further questions, your honor.

Following this, Dr. Cortez re-appeared in his car outside of the courthouse where he had been asked to report. His right shoe contained approximately a kilogram of sand.

Addendum: Further Court Transcripts: The USB drive that SCP-XXXX-3 gave to the Foundation contains several hundred pages of transcripts of SCP-XXXX's proceedings. Several items considered pertinent or notable are listed below, along with annotations provided by SCP-XXXX-3, presented in italics.

---

DR. ROSARIO VASQUEZ²³
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI
…
Q: What does the expression 'Rome was not built in a day' mean?

A: It… means that big feats take a long time to do.

Q: How long did it take to finish the Colosseum?

A: I…

THE COURT
The witness will answer the question.

BY MR. HASANI:

A: Sorry, I'm just… distracted by the ears. How are they doing that?

Q: Objection, irrelevant. How long did it take to finish the Colosseum?

A: Maybe nine or ten years?

Q: A similar time frame was needed to construct the pyramids at Giza, yes?

A: I think so. I studied some Egyptology in college, a few people thought it took twenty.

Q: Would it be reasonable to assume that advanced technology on an extraterrestrial scale would have been able to finish the Colosseum in less than half that time?

A: Isn't this a trial for theft of cultural artefacts? Why the hell are we talking about aliens?

---

CROSS EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI
Q: To clarify, how do you pronounce your name?

A: Nata´aska.²⁴

Q: Honored Nata´aska, Guard of Soyok Wuhti, enforcer of children. What is the role you hold in your pantheon?

A: I am not part of a 'pantheon.' I am a spirit, not a god. There is a difference.

Q: Beg your pardon. Then what is your role among the kasina spirits?

A: I act in several capacities. As a guide for children, I enforce good behavior.

Q: And what happens if the children do not behave?

A: I eat them.

Q: You… eat them?

A: That's what's said in my lore.

Q: May I ask why you eat children?

A: How else are other children going to learn to respect their parents?

Q: What are some things a child could be eaten for?

A: Lying to their parents and friends, disrespecting the culture, not going to bed at the appointed hour. The list goes on.

Q: Would the offense of claiming that your culture, and possibly yourself, are some form of extraterrestrial, be grounds for you to devour these children?

A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: It is not a lie, it is ignorance. I would not eat a blind child for not knowing what color the sky is.

Q: But… are you extraterrestrial in origin?

A: I do not know.

Q: Could you please elaborate on that point?

A: Quite frankly, white men have misrepresented, mis-documented and eradicated my people to the point where western views of us are more prevalent than native views, at least in terms of sheer numbers. There are more people who study the Kasina than who actually perform the rituals.

Q: But… you exist. Objectively. Are you an extraterrestrial, to the best of your knowledge?

A: No.

Q: Do you believe any of your fellow Kasina to be extraterrestrial?

A: I don't know.

At this point, Seth lets out a string of swears so foul that I fear to transcribe them. Thankfully, I do not need to.

THE COURT
Strike that from the record. Mr. Hasani, refrain from profanity in the courtroom, especially in the presence of a witness. We will now take a fifteen-minute recess for you to collect yourself.

---

DR. QUENTIN MORGAN-RUSSEL
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES:

Q: State your name, for the record?

A: Dr. Quentin Morgan-Russel.

A thoroughly unremarkable-looking man. Maybe sixty years old, Caucasian. Looks like he smiles a lot, and I can practically feel the love he has for his work radiating off of him. The Hemlock-Loving Socrates has never read a work of his, and yet thinks he can match wits with the man.

Q: And your occupation?

A: Professor of mythology, Harvard.

Q: May I call you Dr. Morgan-Russel?

A: Certainly.

Q: How long have you been lecturing at Harvard, doctor?

A: Twenty years this August.

Q: In that time, have the works of scholars such as Ulrich von Eichmann— proponents of the 'ancient aliens' theory— attracted students to your lectures?

A: Quite a lot. All misguided, of course.

Q: Would you say that the impact this theory has made on your field of study and its perception is tangible?

A: Certainly. Back in 1980, nobody could tell you who Ra or Set were. Ever since Stargate, they've been household names.

Q: Do you know what the noosphere is?

A: Yes. Somehow.

Q: You shouldn't worry about that. How would you describe the effect this theory has had on the noosphere surrounding mythology?

A: Honestly? Quite positive.

Q: Elaborate, please.

A: Well, these entities that we call gods, people think they're powered by belief, but that's not quite true. Not many people believe in them, outside of neo-pagan segments that have popped up. So… I'm not an expert on this by any means, but they may be powered more by awareness than belief.

Q: Awareness? The simple act of knowing of the deities is enough to sustain them? Do they not require belief?

A: There are neo-pagan sects that still believe in them. But I'd say that awareness is enough to keep them alive; not many people who study Egyptology actually believe in it, and honestly, more's the pity, I say.

Q: Could damage have been done to the Egyptian pantheon by belief in this theory, as opposed to belief in the deities themselves?

A: Of course not. They're too resilient for that.

MR. SOCRATES:
Ladies, gentlemen, and various individuals of the jury, you have not seen the full extent of The Egyptian Typh— that is, Mr. Hasani's complaint.²⁵The wording of it is such that one would assume that Herr von Eichmann had sent thieves to steal the children of his clients, and then feed them to lions.

Mr. Hasani is literally demanding the heart of my client, which— while within the rights of the belief system he originates from— should not be collected prematurely. If Mr. Hasani wishes to have my client's heart so badly, he should wait until Anubis greets him in the Hall of Two Truths, and settle his account then. And for what? Libel, and some vague injury to his client. If it were simply a monetary matter, I would see value in it, but he insists on taking a mortal life in restitution.

I hold love for all gods, and I see their value among their worshipers, and I respect the rituals they keep. And while I do not share my client's beliefs, nor do I know his reasons for believing in them, I will defend his right to state them.

---

IMHOTEP, THE ONE WHO COMES IN PEACE
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI

MR. HASANI
I greet you, Imhotep the Great, son of Ptah, born of Khereduankh.²⁶. Acclaimed you are, vizier and architect, god and man. I ask the healer that you are to heal the ignorance of man with the balm of knowledge. I bade thee forth, Uncle Mine.

Divinity and humanity are a hard thing to reconcile into the same being. Imhotep appears twofold— once from the chambers where he is waiting for the baliff to bring him out, and once from a wind that smells of hot sand, pomegranate, cumin, garlic, and cannabis²⁷. They both manifest into a single being— a younger man, his eyes full of wisdom and some degree of boredom.

Q: Honored Imhotep, in what form do you appear before us today?

A: My body is as I was in life, as a human. My divine presence is that of the Thirtieth Dynasty.

Q: And what is your domain?

A: As I appear now? Medicine, but in life, I was an architect. If I may ask the same of you, Seth of the Red Desert?

THE COURT
Mr. Hasani may answer the question.

MR. HASANI
I… am not the ineffectual antagonist from the Late Period. My role is a god of war, the desert, and the defender of Re upon his barque. I am also not giving testimony, your honor, so I do not see the point of this question. In any case…

Q: As an architect in life, what works did you design?

A: A large part of the Saqqra necropolis, near Menefer²⁸ My greatest work is funerary complex of Djoser-a step pyramid essentially.

Q: The plans for the pyramid you built, how did they come to you?

A: I… don't understand the question.

Q: Did they come through you by divine inspiration, from your Father, or…?

A: No? I honestly just based them off of the Mastaba that had dotted Kemet at the time. They would evolve into the pyramids we know today, but they were still used at the same time Khufu was building Giza.

Q: Were the pyramids always perfect in design?

Imhotep laughs, and the court is suddenly filled with the smell of papyrus, ink and limestone— things that give an architect joy.

A: Amun, no. It took a generation of builders to make one that could have straight angles. Sneferu's Meidum pyramid was never finished, and the Bent Pyramid is literally bent at a strange angle because they mis-measured it and it would have fallen apart otherwise. The Red Pyramid is a work of art in comparison, but the three of them combined use more stone than is in the whole of Khufu's pyramid.

Q: Would you say there is progression here? From the first, flawed attempt at a pyramid all the way to the semi-decent Red Pyramid?

A: Definitely.

MR. HASANI
Associated beings, we have an architect and a deity here with us, who has just told us that progression— nay, evolution occurred in the building of these titanic structures in Kemet, land of the Pharaohs and the Nile. If these were dropped out of the sky by alien beings, would they contain such imperfections? Bent angles, being on the verge of collapsing, inefficient design? Or is it glorious human error that does such things?

MR. HASANI
No further questions, Honored Themis.

CROSS-EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES

Q: Thank you very much for your previous answer—I can think of nothing else to question you on the building of the pyramids, marvels made of stone. I would also like to note that my advocacy for the defendant does not reflect any desire from my part to allege the factual accuracy of his claims, or to deny you and your fellows the credit you have rightfully earned.

A: Noted.

Q: But where are my manners? Hail, Imhotep the Great, kind-hearted god! Greatest of Seers, builder, and sculptor! Maker of stone vases, scribe, and healer!²⁹ My fellow Greeks at times call you Asclepius;³⁰ by whichever name you prefer, I call to you now.

A: “Imhotep” is fine, O son of Sophroniskos.

Q: So, in Starborn 'Gods' volume 4, page 154, the defendant cited a hymn to you inscribed on the exterior walls of the great temple of Hathor at Dendera, which describes you as the one who reveals the movement of the stars. The defendant then argued that this was proof that you, the architect who built the first pyramid, were an extraterrestrial being who owed his knowledge to having had to navigate through celestial space and objects to arrive on Earth. Would you say that this argument is valid?

A: No, I would not. The defendant cited this information from an academic work, Dietrich Wildung’s Egyptian Saints: Deification in Pharaonic Egypt (1977, page 55)—

This humble recorder wonders if Lord Imhotep cares about how annoying it is to insert parentheses and numbers using a steno machine.

A: —a fact he did note in his text, lending to his argument an apparent air of credibility. Yet he did not present the full context of this evidence, even though it is present in his source. For one thing, this hymn is from a comparatively very late period, dating as it does to the reign of the Roman Emperor Claudius, in what is now referred to as the first century CE, whilst I am from the twenty-seventh century BCE. It doesn’t help that laymen think of Kemet as a single civilization, and not something which evolved—they readily accept the idea that the Protodynastic Re and the Re of the Middle Kingdom are the same being. You can thank Hollywood for dumbing down my culture; if you ever said the word Hyksos to your average reader of Starborn ‘Gods’, they’d probably say “gesundheit.”

There are a few polite laughs from the audience and jury. My father, who was worshipped by the Hyksos, gives Imhotep a stern frown.

A: Tangent aside… just like the other inscription mentioning my expertise in astronomy cited by Wildung—the one from the temple of Isis at Philae³¹—this hymn lists my knowledge of the stars as only one of various things I am praised for, and not my primary patronage to the Egyptian people like the defendant intimated. As the rest of the chapter about me in Wildung’s book³² clearly explains, in the thousands of years leading up to the Roman era I was mainly remembered, with various degrees of emphasis on each persona depending on the period and context, as an administrator, an architect, a patron of scribes and written wisdom, and a healer—not as an astronomer.

Q: So, you are saying that the biographical reconstruction of you as an expert in astronomy is wrong?

A: Well, I was the high priest of the solar cult at Heliopolis, so the sky was not wholly outside of my concerns. But to some fair extent my concerns were solar in focus; certainly, they were not astronautical like the defendant alleged.

Q: To build off on that line of thought—are you the son of a god, or son of a mortal man? If that is not too personal a question.

A: It is… difficult to explain. When you look at me now, what do you see?

Q: I… I must confess it is difficult for me to look at you. You seem… indistinct, in a manner that is extremely disorientating. It’s difficult to look upon you for more than a moment; I have to turn my head, and quickly look away.

A: My apologies. We have been talking back and forth in rapid succession about both my original lifetime and my later existence as a god. They tend to bleed together in times like these. Look upon me now—what do you see?

Q: You look… clearer now, milder to the eyes. Now it is easier for me to look at you than at the rest of this chamber—with due respect to all the other beings present.

A: It is to be expected. To an extent, people worship me because I can act as an intermediary between the human and the Divine—thus I was often venerated at the door of the temple, at the threshold between the two realms.³³ So the answer is that I am both, and it is not irrelevant that I am both.

A: That I am here, as a god, attests to my godhood; but I sit here with memories of both being a mortal child with mortal parents, and being the son of divinity. I remember the pride on my father's face when I became a scribe, and my sadness when he died; I remember being presented as a child to my divine father Ptah and my divine stepmother Sekhmet.³⁴ So to your question I say: I am both, and that is who I am.

Q: But to say that you, Imhotep, the architect of the first pyramid, administrator of the great palace, chancellor of King Djoser, was born the son of a god—would that be historically accurate, to use the modern terminology? With no disrespect meant for the theological meaning of your myths, of course.

A: Oh no, it would not. I, Imhotep the architect, was not a son of Ptah. I, Imhotep the god, am.

Q: And you were not considered a son of a god during your original lifetime?

A: No. I was not of the royal family, but my king Djoser honored me by having my name inscribed, near to his, on the base of his statue. Had I had a claim to divine favor under my name to rival his, my king would not have been so trusting toward me.³⁵

Q: Alright… Truth be told, the way of the gods confounds me—mortal man that I am, with only the limited wisdom of humans. Let us discuss something I can more easily comprehend. You mentioned “Hollywood” earlier; how many of their films have an “Imhotep” as the antagonist?

A: I can see what you are driving at. There are the original Universal Mummy film with Boris Karloff from 1932, the 1999 remake, and the 2001 sequel to said remake.

Q: I am merely curious as to why the cast and crew of these films are not here today, facing the same lawsuit as the defendant—together with every other poor fool who has been mistaken about history throughout the ages. What is it that singles the defendant out?

A: To address all the questions you have: yes, there are many people now alive who, when they hear Imhotep, think first and foremost about the Brendan Fraser films. Yes, we can have a long and fruitful discussion about what these films do get right and what they do not, and what stereotypes and tropes they employ and perpetuate, and their merits and failings as works of art. But fundamentally, the Brendan Fraser films do not actively teach their viewers to ignore any and all evidence that they are inaccurate. They do not induct their viewers into the art of forcing your way through to whatever conclusion you want, and disguising the fallacies you need to make to get there—through dazzling, broad-stroke statements that disregard all nuances in the evidence you invoke. They do not promise people that they alone can reveal the truth of the world and that anyone disagreeing with them can be ignored—as a close-minded zealot too wedded to established academic dogmas to see any new ideas at best, and an outright member of a conspiracy to suppress the truth at worst. So no, I don’t see anything hypocritical or unjust about seeing the defendant sitting here without Brendan Fraser, or Boris Karloff, or any of the others who you claim should be present, O wise Socrates.

Q: That is… a fair answer. Clearly, there are different categories of historical inaccuracy. I can accept that.

THE COURT
Do you have any further questions, Mr. Socrates?

MR. SOCRATES
Not to the great Imhotep, Your Honor…

THE COURT
So, unless you have any further point to make, we can move—

MR. SOCRATES
… I would like to point out to the jury that—apologies for the interruption, Your Honor—that the plaintiff's side of things had not addressed that question of the substantial quality of the defendant's historical inaccuracy. We have all heard the great Imhotep testifying that there are different ways to be factually inaccurate about the past, some of which are more objectionable than others; some might even be part of proper respect to the gods. A hymn can be beautiful even when it is the invention of the divine spirit of poetic inspiration, and not the result of learned, rational inquiries. Yet so far everything they had asked the great Imhotep, everything they had filed, has been about establishing the defendant's theories on how the pyramids and other monuments were built are factually wrong.

And yes, the defendant's theories are wrong; we can all see that. But my counterpart has not actually made a case that they are actively anti-science—precisely what the great Imhotep just attested to be one of the key parameters to determining whether a historical fiction is to be condemned or not. And even if the plaintiff's side had established that, they still have not talked about other things like whether the defendant's anti-science stance was born out of active malice or just ignorance and the like—which surely is important for the question of whether the punishment fits the crime. For the punishment proposed against the defendant is very, very harsh.

MR. HASANI
Objection!

THE COURT
On what grounds, Mr. Hasani?

MR. HASANI
He's just trying to pass the ball back to our court! He’s avoiding coming up with an answer on the issue, and asking me to do it instead—this is just a delaying tactic, to make things difficult for me and my team!

THE COURT
So, let me get this straight… you are objecting because you are too incompetent to mount a fool-proof case that can address the opposing counsel’s counterpoints, and thus it is unfair to ask you to do so?

MR. HASANI
Yea… um… no?

THE COURT
Objection overruled.

At this point, we had to take a recess due to a sudden sandstorm in the courtroom. As I type this, my steno machine crunches with the sound of sand beneath his keys— my father nearly lost his temper. There's still a thundercloud over the courtroom.

---

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI

Q: I call upon she of Akkadia and Babylon. Queen of Heaven, Star of Lamentation, Lady of Battles, most awesome of the goddesses, clothed in pleasure and love, she who blessed Those Whose Faces Are Brilliant. Known to me as Astarte of the Battle, of the City, of the Mountain, though I am bereft of your presence as my wife in this matter, and known to Socrates of Athens as Aphrodite. I call upon you in the form of Seth, beseech you to show yourself to this court so that you may give testimony, in the name of all gods.

Inanna comes upon the stand to the sound of a raging battle, with lions roaring alongside them. Her appearance is, predictably, dramatic— starting as an eight-pointed light, she produces wings of multitudinous colors, which fold in on herself. They open, revealing a woman that is taller than Seth and Socrates combined, with a dozen weapons between her wings, a horned crown upon her head, and garbed in white silk stained with red— though if the stains are blood spilled in battle, or wine spilled in the throes of passion, I cannot say.

(Annotation by Dr. Athenodora Cat: Jr. Res. Gardener's body camera footage was largely unusable during this transformation. The being that appeared in the witness stand afterwards has a distressingly strong resemblance to SCP-4960.)

A: I see you and I hear you, Suketh of the Ennead. And I regret that I cannot be here as Astarte.

Q: I have called you to act as a witness in this matter, in the aspect you would have been known to those in Babylon.

A: Ask your questions.

Q: Inanna, what is your connection to this case, in your current aspect?

A: I am not involved in the plaintiff's suit.

Q: But you are a deity, yes? One who has been affected by the defendant's work to some degree?

MR. SOCRATES
Objection, compounded question, and leading question.

THE COURT
Sustained. Mr. Hasani, one question at a time.

MR. HASANI
Q: Apologies. Have you ever been accused of being an extraterrestrial?

A: I am Venus.

Q: Beg pardon, but you are appearing in your aspect as Inanna, are you not?

A: I am the star you call Venus, as well as Inanna. I am not of this Earth in any sense, except when I walk upon it.

Seeing my father grow some flop-sweat is oddly satisfying.

Q: Do— do you feel you are misrepresented by works such as Starborn Gods?

A: To a degree, yes.

Q: Could you elaborate, please?

A: Of my descent to Kur, he… what's the term you use? Cherry-picks. He cherry-picks pieces about my descent to retrieve Tammuz, saying that the protective garments I wear— my crown, my jewelry, my girdle, among others— were simply a 'space suit', and that Kur was the darkness of space itself. Which, by that logic, means the later part of the narrative, where I passed through the gates of the underworld and had to give up a piece of my garment, until I arrived naked and vulnerable in front of my sister Ereshkigal, must surely be a depiction of how my spacesuit became ruptured and I thus died from decompression.

A (continued): There is a subsequent part in the narrative where I am resurrected from the underworld and regain my garment as I went back through each of the gates. You would think this would refer to my decompressed corpse re-assembling itself and putting the suit back on… but but that doesn't match expectations of how spacesuits work. So those pieces have to be metaphorical. But the bit about me putting on fancy clothes, those have to be absolutely literal and referring to literal artifacts that the poet saw with his eyes.

A (continued): And of what he says of Asushunamir and their kind³⁶… it makes me want to—

I cannot hear what she says. The sound of battle overwhelms the courtroom, and her eyes shine with the fire of the Morning Star.

A: …apologies. I did not realize that would happen. I will control my anger.

Q: But are you an alien being in the sense that Starborn Gods alleges?

A: No.

Q: And the others among your group?

A: The Annunnaki, in my sister's realm. Their name comes up more often in ancient alien literature than most, and… well, I'm not sure if you were in the zeitgeist in 2012, but one of the prevailing theories for how the world would end at the time was the collision of Earth with a rogue planet called "Nbiru." That's where the Annunnaki are supposed to come from, according to his kind, and that they are responsible for building all the great works of the ancient world.

Q: I see. Other than them, who is the most affected?

A: Dagon, definitely. Poor Dagon.

Q: Elaborate.

A: Well, Howard P—

The entire courtroom is blinded and deafened as she tries to speak the name. I've heard of nuclear weapons used by humans, and this feels like one has been dropped in the court. The human in the jury was protected by an Aegis, but his ears are still ringing. Note to self: ask for further reparations for personal injury.

The smoke clears, and we can see again— thankfully, I know how to touch-type. Inanna looks drained, her crown somewhat ablaze.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
Excuse me.

MR. HASANI
Q: Are you alright?

A: So much hate behind that name and those works. It… infuriates me in an incandescent manner. I need to write it down, please?

And here, I, the great and powerful Djhuety, handed her a reed pen and quill. She wrote down the name that is next spoken by my ungrateful father, who does not even think to offer me libations on my festival day.

Q: The author in question is H.P. Lovecraft?

A: Yes. He, and others, such as E. Rob—

She goes on to name further names that are drowned out by cosmic rumblings, though these are thankfully far less violent. I catch the names of a few presidents and at least one king. Socrates hides under his desk, but the rest of us are stoic.

MR. SOCRATES
Your honor, I request that the witness name no further mortals which have caused her injury, for the safety of all in the courtroom.

THE COURT
Granted. Honored Inanna, please refrain from enacting your fury upon the court.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
Apologies.

A: That man, and others, portrayed Dagon, a grain and fertility deity, as being an alien, fish-like being.

Q: Has this affected you adversely, in any manner?

A: Not in the ontological sense, but… people don't know how to call out to him anymore. All of their calls are being directed to Dagon the Fish, and not Dagon the Farmer. Even then, little records of either remain.

Q: Do you have any idea why your Babylonian aspect is portrayed as alien, but not, for instance, your Hellenic one?

A: Part of it is a bad interpretation of science. Our Ziggurats are decorated with images of the heavens above— and of myself, Shamash, and others. Naturally, they think that we couldn't possibly have looked up at the stars and made them ourselves, so it has to be aliens.

Q: Are there any other examples of this bad science?

A: Several. The Art of the Nazca is said to be landing strips for alien craft, and not dedications to their long-since forgotten deities, may their monuments stand. Why would aliens need landing strips, if they're so advanced?

Q: And—

A: I'm not done. Gold, a substance which humanity has arbitrarily given value, is said to be the main reason that we 'invaded' the planet— to mine it. It has little practical use, and we come from light-years away to a little rock that can barely support life to mine it? And even then, we have to uplift humanity just to extract that stupid yellow rock? Surely a space-faring civilization has figured out mining.

Q: I see, but—

A: And it is very convenient that the technological horizons of the day these theories were formulated just so happen to match up with the technology we were capable of. Fifty years ago, we were compared to astronauts in space capsules. Today, we apparently have warp drive capabilities or 'star gates'. It's…

Q: Honored Inanna. Are you… sharpening a dagger?

Inanna looks down and finds a whetstone and dagger in her hand.

A: It appears that I am.

Q: Why are you doing that?

A: It is… a metaphor. I just named over a dozen individuals who enrage me, most of whom are still alive and in positions where I cannot easily visit my rage upon them without smiting entire cities. I have also spent the last several minutes talking about the poor quality of the science used by these… 'theorists', and this represents how badly I want to visit my vengeance upon them? Take him, for instance, that insipid son of a—

THE COURT
Please refrain from gesturing at the defendant with a blade for the duration of the court case, Mistress of All Lands.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
I apologize, your honor.

Q: Getting back on track… we've established why they believe it from a factual standpoint, but what about by an ideological one? What would motivate otherwise intelligent— or at least sane —individuals to believe in such a theory?

A: It is because they lack confidence. They see themselves as insignificant in the face of monuments eons old, built by beings so much lesser than them, far more superstitious and technologically inferior. They can't rationalize the fact that they could have gardens and ziggurats and pyramids and sphinxes. They see these things, and they can't comprehend the fact that they cannot do the same thing with their cranes and computers, so they try to rationalize it away, and… that does even more harm, in a sense.

Q: Can you elaborate?

A: The idea that gods change themselves based on the belief of the masses has been popularized in the modern age, but as I'm sure most of the court can attest: it is bunk. Our perception is changed, but our core essence remains— unless we are forgotten. Campaigns are being carried out in the Near East to destroy the heritage of Babylon, Akkad, Sumer, and even Roman elements in and around Mesopotamia and Levant— The Temple of Bal at Palmyra, The Winged Bull of Nineveh, the Palace of Ashurnasirpal II… all gone, forever.

Q: Do you blame the defendant for those?

A: Of course not. But his efforts are another example of modern humanity trying to erase a past that doesn't fit their present. The defendant's audience are people who could rest comfortably with the knowledge that they know who they are. Every year they have celebrations of their national mythology, with fireworks and feasts and pride. Yet when they look at my home… Mesopotamia being the 'Cradle of Civilization' is easily discounted if it's nothing more remarkable than some primitive barbarians, who happened to be there when aliens landed. Outside of that, nobody bothers to learn of the Islamic Golden Age.

Forget or destroy enough of this history, and suddenly it's so much easier to think of this place and its peoples as insignificant, inconsequential - and if something is inconsequential, who would care if it dies by bomb or by drones or by hunger in a refugee camp?

Q: To boil it down to a single point…

A: Those who believe these theories are… well, sad and jealous of the fact that they haven't been able to accomplish something that grand. So, they steal it in imperialistic rage, and if the culture that built it still exists… well, just take one look at America, and you'll see how that went.

Q: Do you believe that there's a racial prejudice to it, as well?

A: Does my brother Shamash rise in the east? Of course there is. There's a reason you don't typically see Greeks and Romans worshiping aliens— they're European.

MR. HASANI
You ask why we should punish the defendant? I realize that several of us come from prejudiced pantheons, but the actions carried out in our names and the actions we condone are not one and the same. Kemet committed atrocities against the Hebrews and the Caananites, and we all know of what Rome did to early Christians. Times have changed, and I would like to think the world as a whole is more tolerant. But von Eichmann and others are supporting a theory which says that civilizations with lighter skin developed their own culture, while the likes of Egypt, Akkad, and the Hopi had to be given theirs. That is why.

No further questions, your honor.

MR. SOCRATES:
Honored Inanna, I regret to inform you that I have… little comfort in questioning you in this aspect. For this reason, I call upon your counterpart from Hellas, of the Ouranoes. I deeply apologize for my impudence here.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
I shall allow it, for I know that you find more familiarity with my Cytherean counterpart. Begin your invocation, if you would please.

APHRODITE³⁷
CROSS EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES

Q: Cythereia, violet-crowned goddess, you who make the world grow, you who make our hearts beat, mistress of Cyprus, golden Aphrodite—by whatever name that pleases you, I call to you now.

In times before, I have always tried to serve the gods as well as I could. In times before, I have never prayed for anything other than ‘the good things,’ trusting you to know best what is good. Yet the responsibility placed on me by this court now compels me to ask different questions. So, if ever in word or in deed I have pleased you, be gracious now, o Queen, and answer me as clearly as is fitting.

A flock of doves fly in from Socrates-Who-Hates Scribes’s right-hand side, circling around his head a few times, before rising upwards and disappearing into the courtroom’s ceiling.

On the witness stand is now laughter-loving Aphrodite, who nods her head.

Q: … Very well. I know the last points were raised by the Aphrodite of Babylon, but you are who I am most familiar with, and so I call to you now—if it is alright with you?

A: It is of no inconvenience to me. Speak your questions, son of Sophroniskos.

Q: You were, on account of your son Aineias, called upon as "Mother" by the Roman people, and as "Conqueress" as well—did that not happen?

A: Yes, it did.

Q: When Alexander the son of Philip reached the end of his conquest at the River Hyphasis, he was said to have built altars to the Twelve Gods the size of great towers, to mark his achievement and to honor the gods who had led him this far—did that not happen?

A: Yes, it did.

Q: I was there, when the city used to send out our fleets from the harbor of Piraeus, to bring the islands into the rule of the Athenians, to collect tributes, to quell revolts. I remember how the ships sailed past your temple on the promontory. I remember everyone, both the sailors and those on the shore, pouring libations and praying to you and to the other blessed gods—did these things not happen?

A: I know where you're going with this. The answer is yes.

Q: Could any of these people be said to have engaged in imperialism?

A: "It would have been small consolation to the Melians, as the Athenian soldiers and sailors fell upon them, to be informed that they were about to become the victims of a hegemonial, not an imperial, measure." Yes, it is a legitimate way of viewing it.

Q: You now object to the imperialism in this man’s work, yet you yourself have been worshipped by so many conquerors and empire-builders—is that not a contradiction?

A: Socrates, you ask a question you already know the answer for. People say and do many things in the name of the gods; if we listen to them all soon we’ll be down the road of allowing gods to take all the blame for the bad things humans do.

Q: But if we adopt this framework, of recognizing a distinction between the people who actually do the deeds and their alleged inspiration, then we must be precise about what the defendant is to be judged for today. Just now we have been going through the wrongdoings of this man Lovecraft, and of the ‘ancient astronauts’ school in general, and of the education system of the defendant’s native land… but to what extent is any of these the responsibility of the defendant in particular? If he is part of a trend, then why are we suing him, specifically, and not any of the other people in this trend?

A: Why are you asking me, Socrates? That question should be directed to the plaintiff, not me.

They both turn toward the plaintiff’s table. At that moment my father is amusing himself with some bubble gum, apparently too bored to pay any attention to what is going on. Feeling their eyes upon him, he turns around, a little too quickly, and the gum bubble bursts all over his face.

The courtroom is filled with guffawing.

Q: I have given up trying to get a straight answer from the Egyptian Typhon—it’s all hieroglyphic to me.

A: I would counsel you to be careful with questioning him: he too is a divine power, in his own way, and deserves proper respect no less than anyone else of us.

Q: I will keep that in mind.

THE COURT
Do you have any further questions, Mr. Socrates?

MR. SOCRATES
No, Your Honor. I would just like to direct the jury’s attention to the last point of inquiry I raised: what is it that these witnesses are supposed to be testifying about? What is it that you are supposed to be rendering judgement on? If it is the flaws of a whole movement, then let the movement be sued. But if it is the actions of this one man, then let us consider only the man. And, certainly, let us not give him a punishment more in scale for the crimes of many men.

---

MR. HASANI
Ladies, gentlemen, assorted beings. We have heard this theory being debated called 'hateful' and 'racist' on at least two different occasions, with the perception of several spirits being so twisted that they themselves cannot say whether or not they were extraterrestrial.

MR. SOCRATES
Objection. Opposing counsel seems to have forgotten, yet again, that this is a libel suit pertaining to a particular volume, not the theory as a whole.

THE COURT
I'd like to hear where this is going. Overruled. Mr. Hasani, proceed.

MR. HASANI
Herr von Eichmann and his ilk tout the idea that the peoples of my civilization, and several others, were too simple to build their own works without outside aid. While beings such as myself gave inspiration in the form of dreams or prophecies or signs, as well as the occasional divine aid, all of the thinking, inventing, and building that went into a single block of a pyramid was all down to humanity.

He makes a grand gesture to the audience. Seems he was watching some of the legal dramas, finally.

For all of its flaws, humankind has always been amazing at working with its hands, and with its brain. Herr von Eichmann wishes to rob entire civilizations of that agency, and install space ships in its place. He would have you believe that the burning bush Moses encountered was lit by the exhaust of a warp drive, or that Ishtar garbed herself in a spacesuit before descending into the underworld.

To expound upon this matter, I call my next witness to the stand.

BRAGI, AESIR OF POETRY
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI

Q: Ash Yggdrasil's trunk, of trees is foremost, and Skídbladnir of ships, Odin of Aesir, of all steeds Slepnir, Bifröst of bridges, and of hounds Garmr; Hábrók of hawks, and Bragi of skalds.³⁸ Boddasson, husband of Iðunn, first maker of poetry, long-bearded, I summon thee forth to the stand.

Bragi arrives with a strong scent of fermented honey on his heels. A humble being, long-bearded and clad in fur, he could be mistaken for human, size and all— one of the advantages the Aesir have always had is their ability to blend in. With the scent (possibly this 'mead of poetry' I've heard so much about?) every human within twenty miles suddenly gets an urge to write a novel— maybe one or two will manage it. Other than the scent, little else accompanies his arrival— he simply walks to the stand.

A: All right, I'm here. No need to go mangling my poetry to get my attention like that.

Q: Apologies. Onto the questioning… Are you involved with this lawsuit in any way?

A: No. Uninvolved third party, was invited to testify by you.

Q: Honored Bragi, your rule over poetry includes inspiration, yes?

A: Aye. I've inspired many a great work, though it never catches the eyes of any of those Greek girls.

Q: And would you say that you've inspired the retellings of several myths of the Aesir, Jotun, Svartálfar, et cetera?

A: Indeed! There's always poetic license and some metaphor that gets garbled— Hel isn't literally half-alive and half-dead, split down the middle.

Q: Since your domain includes poetry, does that include the writing, recording, etc. of all myths?

A: Most of them. There are a few that, sadly, are lost to us all.

I will always respect a god who bows his head in mourning when they discuss those who have been consigned to Oblivion. Bragi already had my respect, now he earns more.

Q: And how have your myths been mis-interpreted in the past?

A: That is… a twisted knot of a question. Imagery from the Norse peoples was co-opted by the Nazis to further their crusade. It didn't help that Norway and Sweden were both occupied, and Finland was with Germany so long as it meant pushing back the Soviets.

Q: Can you think of any other examples, if it does not do you harm?

A: They saw themselves as the new Norse, essentially. Called themselves an endangered Nordic race. Tried to distance themselves from anything Semitic, and that included the Christian God. So, they looked for a European pantheon to leech off of, and found us. It was disgusting.

Q: Did they literally worship you and the other Aesir? Offer libations and such?

A: Nay. There was this one fool, name of Karl Maria Wiligut. One of the occultists. He claimed he was a descendant of Thor, and used that claim to further the occult studies of the Nazis. He said that a Germanic god named "Krist" had been appropriated by the Christians as… well, their Christ. It's absurd.

Q: So, in other words, not a flattering interpretation.

A: Fuckin' hell no.

Themis ordered me not to strike that from the record. I think that Bragi, being a fellow deity involved writing, would un-strike it anyway.

A: They just chose the bits they liked best, and twisted them until the 'evidence' fit their facts. Their eyes are turned inwards towards their own navels, and they fail to see the color of the sky for their own shit. Why, I oughta—

Bragi had to be retrained by Themis in her aspect as a bailiff in order to be prevented from breaking out into a skald song.

A: I do apologize. But I hate them Nazi fucks.

Q: Regarding that prejudice coloring interpretations of writing. At one point in his book, the defendant uses the description of a chariot with solid gold wheels being pulled by sparrows³⁹ as evidence to indicate the existence of spaceships, with the wheels and sparrows being mistaken for turbines and… one moment.

My father's notes are better-organized today. Slightly.

Q: And an organic computer, respectively.

A: Next you'll be trying to sell me Sleipnir. It's poetry, meant to convey the idea that humans cannot possibly reach divinity. Chariots were one of the most advanced pieces of transportation technology in the day, and the golden wheels are meant to convey the miraculous nature. If Aphrodite cared to go out today, she would probably have a diamond-studded Lamborghini with a leopard as a chauffeur.

Q: He uses this also as evidence of the ignorance of some early Greek peoples, before the invention of the wheel, as gold is unable to be shaped into such a form without bending into uselessness.

A: If you want to play a jester, Set, you need to learn how to have your humor translate.

Q: I don't follow.

A: That can't be in the book. It can't be, nobody's that conceited. You have to be joking.

Q: Read here.

Seth has a document in his hand that kills any joy and mirth Bragi has in his eyes. His jaw hangs open for several seconds before he realizes he has made a massive mistake.

A: Odin's balls.

Q: Can you answer the question?

A: If Greeks were that ignorant, how would they even know what a chariot was to begin with?

MR. HASANI
Note that the defendant specifically makes these accusations at the expense of the 'Early' Greeks— bronze-age, before the Parthenon. The time of myth in which conflicts such as the Trojan War are said to take place. The past is a different country, they say, and to the defendant, it is culturally barren.

The defendant supposes that humanity, in those days, could not have developed their own technology, their own culture, without the aid of a higher being. But the very myths used to describe the higher beings such as myself work at a rate of fifty metaphors per sentence. I do not literally cause every rainstorm over Kemet, I was just a convenient excuse. The defendant has taken these metaphors and chosen to interpret them as metaphorical or literal at their leisure. Chariots and bamboo are called spaceships. To quote a famed mortal actor, said to be a scion of Melpomene: "What does god need with a starship?"

---

HEPHAISTOS KLYTOTEKHNES
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES

Q: Great Artificer, Maker of Miracles, Craftsman, Grand Sculptor, Keeper of the Forge at Etna. Known to Opposing Counsel as the creator Ptah, maker of Clockworks, the most Steadfast of the Gods. I bid thee forth now, Hephaistos Klytotekhnes, to come and give witness and testimony in a matter where a mortal life hangs in the balance.

Hephaistos Klytotekhnes does not bother for him to even begin the second sentence before he starts to, quite literally, roll in. Gears, shafts, cranks, springs, wheels, tubes, and all manner of technological devices both ancient and modern roll in from the waiting chambers, coming together with clicking and ratcheting sounds so loud that I strain to hear Should've-Written-Something-Down-Socrates over the din.

Hephaistos assumes the form of an automaton, and I cannot help but wonder if this is a proxy he is simply speaking through— a mouthpiece. Every time I encounter them, he looks broken in a different way.

A: While I appreciate the formality, son of Sophroniskos, there is no need for it. I am a god of technology, and in this modern age, I am ready to be called at a moment's notice. Call me Hephaistos, Vulcan, the Smith, the Artificer, call me Bob for all I care.

Though it pains me, the format does not allow for me to address you as 'Bob' or 'Robert'.

Q: Er, well then. Honored Hephaistos, Mr. Hasani brought up a point following a previous testimony: 'what does god need with a starship?' Tell me, do you have any need for spacecraft?

A: We have never had the need for a starship, nor do I think we will ever have a need.

Q: Space exploration does not interest you?

A: In an academic sense. Apollo was literally over the moon when it was first landed upon. And naturally, several members of my family have a planet, planetoid or moon named after them.

Q: You do not have a celestial body named after yourself?

A: A minor planetoid. As for my Roman aspect, it was once thought that, between Mercury and the Sun, another planet existed. They called that Vulcan, for a time. Discredited, unfortunately.

Q: But what of the vast ocean of space itself?

A: We don't really have a need to go there. Most of our worshipers are on Earth, and we exist in a somewhat abstract celestial realm. We are the stars in the sky, and the planets. Anything beyond that is hard to imagine.

Q: Honored Hephaistos, you are a god of artifice. Are you saying that you are incapable of creating a starship?

A lightning strike interrupted the testimony, impacting on the desk Socrates was using. My father's hackles were raised. If the Greek bothered to use written notes, they would have been in flames. Hephaistos is curiously unfazed.

A: Of course I could. I've forged and repaired far more difficult things. Give me some lead, a kiss from my wife, a book of matches, and I'll give you a warp drive before you take dinner.

Q: Have you ever built a starship, then?

A: In a sense. I created the chariot Helios uses to pull the sun.

Q: And is this a literal chariot, pray tell?

A: It can take on whatever form pleases him. He prefers a chariot, but has experimented with other forms. For a time, when Apollo took up the duty, it became…

I do not know the exact mechanics of Apollo's relation to Hephaistos, but the disappointment in his sigh was something that I've only heard used by parents when their children forge their signature to get tattoos.

A: A tour bus. God of music, yet he has no respect for the classics.

Q: Could this chariot theoretically become a 'diamond-studded Lamborghini'?

MR. HASANI
Your honor, objection. That's plagiarism! He's re-using my argument!

THE COURT
Mr. Hasani, if I had an obol for every incorrect objection you've made since this trial started, I could afford to send all of Athens across the Acheron. Overruled. Shut up.

The storm brewing in the court died down with only a faint growl of complaint from my father. Part of the audience had pulled out umbrellas, and I see the lone mortal in the jury cowering. I have to give this to you, father: You tried. You failed miserably, but you tried.

BY MR. SOCRATES
Q: Answer the question, please.

A: That would be something my wife would have more interest in than myself. But it could.

Q: So, what's to stop Helios from turning his chariot into a starship?

A: Honestly, the simple fact that nobody has ever really thought of it in that sense— until now, I suppose. There was this one author who imagined it as a train and a sports car, both only capable of travelling east to west, but that's largely it.

Q: So, gods do not need a starship, but they could make one.

A: Indeed.

Q: Why haven't you?

A: I talk to Voyager 1 occasionally. There's no real need to go any farther than humanity has already.

Q: …beg pardon, Honored Artificer, but did you say you talk to Voyager 1?

A: I mean, you did make it an attempt to encapsulate the essence of Humanity, as a collective part of the species that could reach out into the unknown Final Frontier, yes? It's Human enough for my purpose. Not that you made it easy for me to look after it— it didn't include any data on us, aside from someone speaking Ancient Greek.

MR. SOCRATES
Associated beings of the jury, need I say anything else? Even if the item that is described in the opposing counsel's letter of complaint is a forgery, we have just had a god of artifice admit that he could make a starship, and that the things he has already made could qualify as such, depending on perception.

This lawsuit was made solely for the purpose of brute revenge, not Justice. Honored Themis, I have no further questions.

CROSS EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI
No questions, your honor.

THE COURT
Are you sure?

MR. HASANI
Yes.

(Annotation by Jr. Res. Gardener: At first, I thought that he was going to start crying— he being 3807. All that work, for nothing, destroyed by a single testimony. He was slumped in his chair, head bowed. But I was just at the right angle in the jury that I could see the head behind the hands on his face— the smirk he was wearing was terrifying, and victorious.)

---

THE COURT
I believe it is about time for closing arguments. Mr. Hasani, you will go first.

MR. HASANI
Associated entities of the jury, I…

My father fumbles for words.

Our faiths are largely dead in the modern age. While sects and worshipers pop up, they are few and far between. I genuinely believe that the damage done by this man and his ilk to our kind is tangible. Look upon Dagon. Look upon the ideas that the pyramids or the Hopi's structures are immaculate. Look upon the damage done to the Kasina, to the point where even they are unsure of their status.

The 12th President of the United States, Andrew Jackson, said this of the things constructed by the natives of his country in 1830: “In the monuments and fortifications of an unknown people, we behold the memorials of a once-powerful race, exterminated to make room for the existing savage tribes.” This 'ancient race', according to him and those of his time, would have been Caucasians, but there is no doubt in my mind that were he alive today, he would attribute them to extraterrestrials.

Gods are inherently extraterrestrial in the sense that they are present in a celestial realm. But calling us aliens who bring knowledge to our civilizations is an insult to the humans who serve us, and those who serve them.

The plaintiff rests.

THE COURT:
Thank you. Mr. Socrates?

MR. SOCRATES
I have made it no secret that I hold contempt for this theory. But ignorance does not deserve punishment so extreme as what Mr. Hasani and his clients are requesting— literally tearing out his heart and feeding it to a beast, in addition to removing a major source of income for my client? It is unconscionable.

I would like to paraphrase myself in Philebus. My client holds no malice towards his neighbors— instead, he finds himself in the unfortunate state of ignorance. Some might argue that this is worse, but I do not believe it to be so. He is far from the first to state this theory, and he will be far from the last. Why does my opposite not go after every individual who believes this theory? Why single out my client?

So, please, I ask you to not find in favor of the plaintiff. I do not believe my client to be correct, but I do believe he does not deserve this punishment. Thank you.

The defense rests.

The transcripts included here are incomplete, as they do not include any verdict reached by the jury. Five days after the Foundation received the USB drive containing these transcripts, Ulrich von Eichmann appeared in Geneva. While having no memory of the experience and being unable to account for the time lost, von Eichmann was not harmed and Starborn 'Gods' remains in circulation, so it can be assumed that the jury found in favor of the defense.

von Eichmann's work remains extant, and for sale. He has not issued a retraction of any form at this time; however, this statement was made in an interview with The Fortean Times in in July 2019:

…I'm not entirely sure of the idea that these were literally extraterrestrials, anymore. All gods are, in a sense, celestial in nature. Of earth, of sky, and beyond. Maybe their chariots were just starships in that shape. Maybe the sparrows were poetic license…

Furthermore, I feel… mistaken. My views reflected poorly on the ancient peoples. The Gods may have given them the original inspiration, and some guidance, but saying that they could not have built a stone wall? I feel… guilty for perpetuating that.

Addendum: Theft of the Space Shuttle Enterprise: In January of 2020, several Type-Black entities were detected in the vicinity of the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum in New York City. Among those present were both SCP-3807 and SCP-XXXX-3. Through a complex display of anomalous abilities, they proceeded to board, anomalously alter, and then launch the now-inactive Space Shuttle Enterprise. Modifications made to the shuttle included:

• Removal of all symbols indicating ownership by the US Government on the shuttle and replacing the name with "HELIOS 2"
• Addition of several types of writing to the hull, including Cuneiform, Hieroglyphs, Ancient Greek and Ancient Norse; all of these appeared to have thaumic properties, which may account for the anomalous acceleration and lack of damage to the surrounding area, including it phasing through the building it was contained in.
• Altering the nose into a more conical shape and removing the dorsal tail fin
• Altering the hull in such a way that it refracted light
• Adding an anomalous artificial gravity system around the center section of the hull.

Researchers in the Foundation's Department of Space Exploration note similarities between this altered Space Shuttle and the now-defunct Project Kaguya, which was an attempt to make a spacecraft that could launch and land on airport runways. The Enterprise was replaced by a replica made by the Foundation for testing purposes in the 1980s.

Addendum: Closing notes from Dr. Athenodora Cat: The following is a rough collation of thoughts by Dr. Cat, and has not been edited for inclusion in the final draft of this document.

Dr. Cat is sitting at her computer, looking over several documents associated with SCP-XXXX.

Dr. Cat: All right, day five of looking over these court transcripts. I’ve reached the end.

Dr. Cat takes a sip of coffee. Several empty cups sit around her desk. Monitors on either side of her show pictures of SCP-3807 and various participants of SCP-XXXX.

I’ve… got nothing.

Socrates was completely right, and argued well— the various beings here did not need to do this. SCP-3807 could have called down lighting to smite not only von Eichmann, but the rest of the Ancient Aliens movement. This was overkill, and useless.
NOTE FOR BETA READERS: This section is getting an overhaul and should not be considered final.
Before I go on, I have to explain the concept of theodicy. It… basically, it means that gods have a divine right to law that lets them punish those who deserve it with impunity. In Christian theology, it’s why the question of ‘why do bad things happen in the world if our god is omni-benevolent’ has stuck around for so long. The Christian god is omni-benevolet and just, but a lot of other pantheons don’t care about that type of thing, or else they are very choosy about where to exercise it.

In Greece, theodicy could take many forms, from Zeus sending a gadfly to bite Pegasus as Bellerophon tried to ride to Olympus, or Hades binding Piriphous to a chair using stone snakes— punishments for hubris. The Furies were dedicated to crimes such as matricide and patricide.
End Beta Reader Notice
My problem isn’t that they’re choosing to exercise it, it’s the way they’re choosing to exercise it. Why not exercise it now? Why hold a court case of all things, and why in a Western format? Japanese court cases lack a jury, and they have a 90% plus conviction rate. They could have held a kangaroo court, appointed… I don’t know, Loki as the defense attorney to screw him over, but they got Socrates? Somehow? It’s like they wanted to lose.

The jury’s another thing that bugs me, in that it’s so incongruent— the rest of it is a US-style jury trial, but the jury itself is big enough to be part of ancient Athens. And why bring in a member of the Foundation to be part of it? Poor guy’s in counseling, still. And the USB device, why give us court records? We could have written this down as an extranormal event, or appended 3807’s file, and…

And…

And then a new myth wouldn’t have anywhere to be written down. Son of a bitch.

Dr. Cat drinks the rest of her coffee, throwing the paper cup over her shoulder and starting to pick up notes. In the process, she knocks her webcam behind her desk, causing it to disconnect.

Dr. Cat: Wait, shit—

Connection restarts approximately six minutes later. Dr. Cat is more composed.

Dr. Cat: All right, so.

After the theft of the Enterprise, many of us have entertained, for obvious reasons, the theory that the preceding "trial" has been a distraction, to divert our attention and thus facilitate the theft of said craft. This interpretation runs into a problem, however, since given the anomalous abilities displayed by the subjects, even without the distraction there is nothing we could have done to hinder them.

Another theory is that the theft is a statement of showboating, given in response to the lenient judgement on Ulrich von Eichmann. Yet as a statement of superiority, this seems rather hollow—the subjects are aware of the Foundation and are aware that we would do everything to keep the incident under wrap, and they still made no move to make sure their statement reached a wider audience.

But… what if both of those are wrong? What if this isn’t a court case, it’s a smokescreen. Where’s— ah, here, Hephaistos. He says that gods can create a starship. And Ishtar, she says that she is Venus, so gods are amongst the sky. And— you clever little so-and-so, Set has Imhotep talk about the progression of technology, and Socrates brings up the idea of mortals projecting images onto the gods. And then… crap, where is it?

Dr. Cat begins clicking through their computer,laughing when they reach a specific document.

Here it is. Quoting goddamn Star Trek at us, Hasani? Gods don’t need anything with a spaceship, but you… you want one. You want the concept of 'Gods can go to space' to be divorced from this awful, hateful theory, and maybe get a chance to smite one of its main proponents to boot.

The Foundation hoards knowledge like I hoard degrees. And we keep that knowledge forever— the server I’m uploading this to can survive the collapse of civilization, a reality restructuring, and a 500-kiloton nuclear blast at the same time. I- I- I can’t— we’ve been had.

Dr. Cat laughs.

We’ve been completely and utterly had! I recorded every word and annotated every reference I recognized! It’s all on there!

Dr. Cat points to the screen.

And in here.

Dr. Cat points to her head.

We’ve been had, duped, bamboozled, tricked, had the wool pulled over our eyes— all to record this single freaking case!

Dr. Cat pauses.

I’m… not overthinking this, right?

I mean, if this is some kind of divine secret, I’d… probably be struck down for knowing it, right? Happens all the time. One of the myths of Tantalos says that he was killed for stealing Ambrosia, which is a big divine secret.

Dr. Cat looks behind her.

I need to clear my head. Wash out the coffee with some libations. Maybe get some sleep. Being up for three days straight examining court documents isn’t good for the soul.

Dr. Cat gets up from her seat, leaving the camera running briefly. The image of SCP-3807 on one of the monitors is grinning; it did not bear this expression before. Dr. Cat returns to turn off the camera.

[[footnoteblock]]

Reviews:

Popsioak: Positive
UraniumEmpire: Positive
AbsentmindedNihilist: Positive (on an earlier draft, get more a little later)

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