scp-000000000

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Wow! You flipped a card and got: Jogging Trousers!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 02 Mar 2021 12:11

SCP- photographed when it was first acquired

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: : SCP is to be kept in a Secure Storage Vault at Site. Under no circumstances should any personal other than class D personnel equip SCP. SCP should not be removed from it’s vault unless for testing purposes, SCP must be monitored constantly at this time as to make sure it is not confused for a regular pair of trousers.

Description: SCP is a pair of ████████ brand trousers of a dark beige colour. They are a men's size 32 inches and has a belt built into the trousers with 10 notches for different waist sizes.
When a subject put on the SCP and fastens its belt, there is an unknown connection made between the SCP and the wearer. No physical change can be observed, but SCP becomes impossible to remove from the wearer without killing the subject. The subject’s running speed is increased by an estimated 10% in most cases.
Over time, the trousers will begin to cause the subject to begin running at increasing speeds. This speed varies with the athletic capability of the subject, with SCP forcing the subject to increase at slower rates if the subject does not have an athletic ability. After 1 minute of wearing SCP, the subject will begin to notice their legs begin to move forward, seemingly on their own accord when the subject is stationary or attempting to move slower than this speed. This is around 1 step forward every 20 seconds at this point. At 2 minutes, this speed will have increased to 1 step every 13.5 seconds. At 2 minutes and 24 seconds. SCP will typically have reached the subjects typical slow walking pace. At 3 minutes and 7 seconds, the subject will typically be moving at the subjects typical walking pace. By 4 minutes and 30 seconds the user will be jogging, this typically does not prove a challenge for the subject, however if they are in poor health this may already prove a challenge (See Test-17). By 6 minutes the subject has typically reached a gentle running state. By 6 minutes and 42 seconds the subject has reached a moderately demanding running state, bodies subjects who do not have prior athletic experiences will begin to struggle to maintain this speed at this point. By 7 minutes and 10 seconds subjects will typically have reached what they perceive to be their highest possible speed. After this point it is more difficult to measure subjects speed but it is estimated to increase at a similar rate. Subjects will become distraught and fatigued by this point, displaying a strong desire to stop moving and claiming they cannot handle the movement. Subjects often lose consciousness, causing damage to their spine and neck as they often are propelled backwards at a high speed due to the lack of control from the subject and high speed they are travelling at. Subjects heart rates are over 100 BPM at this point and most subjects undergo a heart attack after exposure. Other events have shown loss of limbs, resulting in death by blood loss and the subject undergoing such discomfort from the experience that they have committed suicide whilst under the effects still. Once the subject is deceased, the process immediately halts and the body is flung in whichever direction the subject was travelling in at the same velocity it was travelling, this event can be damaging for the corpse if it reaches a wall suddenly, in some cases crushing the skull upon impact. At this point the belt buckle suddenly undoes itself through an unknown force and SCP halts any other anomalous properties until it is reattached to another living human subject.

Addendum-01: Subjects exposed to SCP will move straight ahead, unless the path is blocked, in which case the subject will begin turning in anticipation for the blockage in a way that does not stop the speed. At high speed the subjects typically move in circles to accommodate the high speeds. If there is not sufficient room to move, subjects will begin to run on the spot, appearing as if to be on a treadmill but the physical effect on the subject remains the same regardless of actual distance travelled. Subjects sat or lying down are not immune from its effects, the subject’s legs will automatically move to a position that they can attempt to move the subject. SCP will only apply it’s properties to a subject if they are worn on all legs and fastened correctly, SCP has been recorded to work on a subject with only one leg, causing the subject to “hop” instead of run.

Addendum-02: Subjects will not become aware of SCP’s effects until they attempt to move at a speed less than what SCP will force them to travel at. As of current, there is no known way to stop SCP’s process once it has been attached to a user via the belt. The highest recorded speed of a subject wearing SCP before death is 34.2 mph and the lowest was 7.8mph (See Test-17)

Addendum-03 Subjects must not be allowed to wear the trousers outside as the unknown direction the wearer could take could lead to damage to the SCP or the nearby personnel or facility.

Test 17- Investigation of SCP on overweight subject
Subject: D-7622- a male in his late 30's with a BMI exceeding 35

Foreword: Subject was placed in a large empty hall and instructed to put the trousers on

<Begin Test, 04/02/██>

Subject-7622 did not notice the effects for the first 42 seconds of exposure. When 7622 noticed the effects of SCP he quickly became extremely distressed. By 2 minutes 7622 was beginning to audibly pant and was attempting to negotiate with on site personnel. At 2 minutes and 39 seconds 7622’s panting increased further and he began panicking further. At 3 minutes and 12 seconds 7622 was visibly sweating and crying, showing signs of fatigue already. 7622 lost consciousness at 3 minutes and 51 seconds and at 4 minutes and 12 seconds 7622 suffered a heart attack, killing him 41 seconds later after 4 minutes and 53 seconds of exposure to SCP. His body came to an immediate stop and SCP came undone.

<End Test >

Closing Statement: Proof that SCP has much different effects on users depending on their physical health and athletic ability

Footnotes

1. A few fake video leaked in Social Media.

2. The paper was not blanked but there an word says "You cannot leave".

3. Data error and overload cause Dr. ████ computer crashed and blown up after 30 minute.

4. There is no such hallway, this is an unsolved mathematics problem.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS LEVEL #/XXXX CLASSIFIED

---

ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 4/XXXX AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.

ID

7b68a2ae3207758263d9befcd5c2a9c8_1627768388

PASSWORD

879bb8936effd22fe4f4d6a4fee16c2d_1627768388

Login

Message from Dr Gregory
This is Dr Gregory. I am writing this to explain to some of you with higher clearance why I have specificized the SCP is not to be worn outside and allowed to travel so freely. To be fair the cover up isn’t too false, moving at such a speed, SCP could get out of our immediate grasp very quickly, if we weren’t the strongest organization on the planet of course. We could easily monitor and catch up with a runaway trouser boy. The real reason for it’s prohibition on outside movement is for another reason.
SCP takes the user somewhere. Somewhere specific. The Boreal forest of Canada. And to be completely specific to ████████ ████████ ████████████████ Right in front of that giant tree. It takes them across miles of fields, up hills and mountains. Even through lakes, or on top of them if it’s going particularly fast. We’ve only had one incident with them drowning. Took us hundreds of cannon fodder to get there, not to mention how many populated areas it tried to go through, that was nearly the end of my career.
So, it gets to this giant tree and it just… stops. Luckily the last subject wasn’t going so fast so his neck didn’t snap from that sudden halt. We had an MTF task force with them, I didn’t go, didn’t trust where it would go, maybe some other organization or cult that’d wipe us out within seconds. I was relieved at first when it hit this stupid tree. Was less relieved when I heard the noises.
Body cams went down before we saw anything, reviewing the footage yields nothing. We got the audio feeds however, there’s nothing to compare the sounds of whatever got them was. The closest thing we can compare it to is the sound of a dog viciously barking into a faulty microphone played in the largest hall ever. The reverb and volume were insane I can’t even imagine how a sound like that is accomplished in a god damn forest. We could infer from the sounds of gunfire followed by various snapping and squelching sounds that we weren’t getting the MTF back We picked up various screams and exclamations from the MTF, we tried to ask what they were seeing, only one responded in time and all he could get out before we heard a large crunch was “It’s a large- very large, I can’t even see the top of it, or them, and it’s got severa-“ Which doesn’t exactly help us paint a picture. All the audio feeds went down seemingly seconds after each personnel was killed
It took less than 2 minutes for everything to go silent. 34 men gone just like that, no survivors. We waited a day before sending another squad in for recovery. They followed the prior route taken and entered the area, but kept asking if this was the right place. They weren’t convinced as there was not a trace of the previous massacre, no blood, scrapes; I mean hell there wasn’t even any bullet cases on the ground. All that was left was SCP-XXXX, no evidence of the D Class that was within. They retrieved the SCP and left the area, no encounter with the entity that appeared.
We can infer that the powerful anomaly that occurred from this event only appears if SCP is being occupied at that specific location. Because of this I am not allowing SCP to guide anyone outside, it is NOT my job to test the patience of whatever higher being that was. And I am not making this information available for anyone without clearance as I do not need more people pushing me to find that thing again. There’s simply no point.

Wow! You flipped a card and got: The Adny!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 02 Mar 2021 04:45

Item #: SCP-6089

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: 100 × 100 × 100 × isolation room. The guard post must also be fitted with a wall that cannot be destroyed by anything and equipped with CCTV to monitor its movements.

Description: If you touch it, it might be like falling asleep but you are actually dead. But dying pleasantly and suddenly the happiness turned into sadness. Every stuff than he touch will immediatelly broke. But if the steff that he touch broke, it will added as SCP-6089-1. The Stuff will follow instruction of The Adny. And if SCP-6089-1 touch Human Subject, That will teleport in unknown infinite world. When Guard see the situation, he is shocked when teleported in unknown world. But, after founded, He is die.

If you want to see that the infected object becomes SCP-6089-1:
- first, you have to squat and then you walk sideways.

- two, paths backward for 2 steps.

- three, walk while talk reverse.

- four, if the object starts responding with a beat be careful because that thing got infected and go as far as possible before it follows you anywhere.

Addendum 6089#1: SCP-6089 was died because depression, and then the body was just leather. Also, has no flesh. The Blood stained everywhere.

---

<incident: Guard 2015>

<begin log transcript>

<08:25:39> Guard: Why you always want to ruin all stuff and creature?

<08:25:58> SCP-6089: I just want to go back

<08:26:18> Guard: Back? where?

<08:26:40> SCP-6089: Home, my home.

<08:27:12> Guard: jerking hard HOME? SAY TO ME WHERE IS IT!

<end log transcript due error>

Note: After that, when guard go back to monitoring area, the guard vanished when opening door. And 2 CCTV cameras that capture him was error.
Wow! You flipped a card and got: Cloudy Cloud - Dislike!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 02 Mar 2021 04:29

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX was currently secured in Dr. ████ computer. The email address and the video was currently privated deleted¹.

Description: SCP-XXXX Is a Youtube video with a duration of 0:38 seconds. The video has no likes, and gets 2 thousand dislike. The original video contains paper only². However, if it is combined with the 2nd video on the channel, it will create a sense of sadness. His YouTube channel has now been removed so that no one can see the video or channel.

Addendum XXXX-1: The YouTube channel is named David_lazy, only 2 videos have been uploaded since 2015

---

<transcript from 1st video>

[ASFKAJEKN]

<00:00:00> - <00:00:38> just contain blank paper, no audio and no music

---

<transcript from 2nd video>

[We love him]

<00:00:00> - <00:00:38> blank video with random music appears, it will changed every you close and watch the video again

---

Addendum XXXX-2: 3rd video of David_lazy was deleted permanently.

---

File: We hate him
Founded: 2016
File type: Video

Loading transcript…

Successfully opened

<00:00:00> Secure…
<00:00:02> Contain…
<00:00:04> Protect…
<00:00:06 - 00:00:10> Dr. ████ appears in the video, ███ with us

Error, data corrupted!³
Clossing data immediately!!!

███!

[[footnoteblock]]
Wow! You flipped a card and got: SCP-5984!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 02 Mar 2021 03:46

CAPTION-GOES-HERE

Item #: SCP-5984

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5984-1 and SCP-5984-2 are both contained within a Maximum Security Storage unit at Site-19

Description: SCP-5984-1 resembles a standard RPG-7 that has been customized with spray paint, the depictions made by the spray paint will alter itself depending on the holder’s past regrets.
When SCP-5984-1 is fired, a new rocket will spring from inside of SCP-5984-1’s barrel and position itself. If SCP-5984-1’s trigger is held, the rockets will begin to fire out at a speed that slowly increases until eventually, after approximately 40 seconds, rockets will cease firing out. When this happens, a thick black smoke will be emitted from SCP-5984-1. This black smoke contained lead and various metals, this will severely poison any personnel who inhale the smoke and all personnel poisoned are required to seek immediate medical treatment.

SCP-5984-2 is a large steel crate approximately 1.5 meters in height with a lid that can be lifted off. Inside of SCP-5984-2 is an estimated 60 rockets.

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Nightmare_Me10!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 02 Mar 2021 02:05

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<p style="font-size:55px; font-weight: bold;">SCiPNET LOGIN</p>
<div class="input-container">
<input class="input-field" type="text" placeholder="Username" name="usrnm">
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<div class="input-container">
<input onkeyup="if(this.value.length > 0) document.getElementById('start_button').disabled = false; else document.getElementById('start_button').disabled = true;" class="input-field" type="password" placeholder="Password">
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<button id="start_button" class="btn btn-success" onclick="window.open('http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/nightmare-me-11/edit/true/title/Nightmare_Me(11)','_parent')" disabled> Login</button>

<br></br>
<button style= "font-weight: bold;" class="btn2 btn-success"> Frogot password and username? </button>

</form>
</body>
</html>
[[/html]]
Wow! You flipped a card and got: SCP-5825; "Ol' Ironsides"!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 02 Mar 2021 01:59

A photo of SCP-5825, during recovery of the hours-long search. Plaque covered up by mud and other residue.

Item #: SCP-5825

Object Class: Safe

SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: SCP-5825 is to be kept in a standard cargo crate not unlike the ones on a transport barge. Said crate is to be kept in the storage facility of Site 75. Personnel with at least Level 2 Clearance are permitted to experiment with SCP-5825.

DESCRIPTION: SCP-5825 is a wooden rowboat commonly used during the Golden Age of Piracy (c. 1700s). It is missing it’s oars, has a lantern hanging on the bow, a medium-sized storage chest in the stern end, and a golden plaque on the stern itself embroidered with the name “Ol’ Ironsides” in cursive. SCP-5825 is in poor condition, with multiple holes covering the majority of the hull’s surface area, the lantern being severely cracked, and the plaque being horribly degraded by rust (though the name is still legible). The amount of damage plus the severity of the holes should be more than enough to sink it, yet SCP-5825 still remains buoyant in all bodies of water despite this. The lantern is also able to light up and turn off by knocking on the glass twice; no form of fire starting tools are required. The flame in the lantern is also colored green instead of the usual orange-red, though it otherwise behaves like a normal lantern flame. SCP-5825 is also immune to all forms of damage, ranging from bullets, to fire, to explosives, to even other living organisms (corresponding Test Log pending). Currently there is no known method found to damage or destroy SCP-5825. Many researchers have collectively nicknamed it as “The 682 of boats.” SCP-682 itself agrees with the sentiment after its corresponding test with SCP-5825.

ADDENDUM 5825-1: SCP-5825 has recently been discovered as having a secondary anomalous effect; it apparently is capable of air travel if the lantern is lit, and ceases the air travel if the lantern is turned off. SCP-5825, when airborne, behaves similar to how it normally behaves on water, except with the added condition of the rower being required to position themselves by leaning accordingly to row up, down, left, right, or straight. If there is no rower present, then it will drift through the air until someone either positions it back on course, or turns off the lantern, though it never seems to leave the atmosphere; if it hits the atmosphere, it slowly drifts along in a new path after a mild ricochet from the atmosphere, akin to a ball going somewhere else after hitting a hard surface. A tracking device has been installed directly on the bow underneath the lantern in case such an event happens again.

“Ugh, that took forever to track that thing down! And this is only a Safe Class?!” -D-28462, after reclaiming SCP-5825 7.5 hours after it accidentally was let loose.

“Yes, and would you rather be reassigned to a Keter?” -Researcher Ace Ocanari. D-28462 vehemently conceded the argument and went back to her cell, seemingly wanting to delay being Keter fodder for a small bit longer.

ADDENDUM 5825-2: SCP-5825 has its effects doubled during nighttime hours (apx. 8PM-8AM) and doubles again on top of that if exposed to moonlight. When airborne, it also moves much faster and turns much harder, akin to a race car. Proposal submitted to upgrade Object Class to Euclid.

“Request denied. Guys, it’s still a damn rowboat; just keep it in storage with the lantern turned off, it’s that simple. Though I will agree that we should keep it separated from Dr. Gerald at all costs. May as well be Keter if that happens.” -Researcher Ocanari

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Kitstopher!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 22:27

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]

Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
SCP-XXXX is an anomalous parasitic organism which superficially resembles a conical paper party hat. SCP-XXXX's primary hosts are humans, with a preference for adults. The primary mode of infection appears to be reliant on SCP-XXXX's low grade telepathy to attract hosts. This telepathy is thought to act as a subtle influence, drawing the attention of the host until the unwitting victim puts SCP-XXXX on their head. Immediately after, tendrils burrow into the skull cavity and begin to influence behaviour through the release of hormones and other neuro-chemicals. Behaviour changes are often subtle at first with the host seeming more cheerful, this then progresses to the host beginning to plan (often large) parties.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Petromyzon_marinus.003_-_Aquarium_Finisterrae.JPG
Wow! You flipped a card and got: The Nom Creacher!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 21:52

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is contained in a 12x12x12 cell with two separate areas for sleeping, some sort of entertainment for animals (ex: dangling synthetic mouse) that must be replaced once every week, and an automatic water system connected to site water lines.

Due to SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties, one D-Class personnel a member of foundation staff must enter SCP-XXXX's cell and "feed" it once every 24 hours to keep it from demanifesting.

Head researcher, Dr. Simmons has deemed all instances of SCP-XXXX-1 safe, and allowed the feeder to keep SCP-XXXX-1 if they so choose.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a small, male, quadrupedal creature similar in shape to a possum with abnormally large ears. It's fur patterns, vocalizations, and (non anomalous) diet closely resemble that of a western red fox. But DNA testing shows closest relation with the common house cat.

SCP-XXXX enjoys affection from humans, and will go out of it's way to be pet or cared for. Those giving SCP-XXXX affection report feeling a sense of happiness and enjoyment, regardless of their previous outlook on animals.

SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects are shown in it's diet. SCP-XXXX has shown the ability to consume anything without any sort of repercussion. If SCP-XXXX is fed something undesirable by a human, it will immediately regurgitate an object that the feeder specifically wanted or needed at that moment. This process does not seem to bother SCP-XXXX. It even appears proud of its creation, regardless of size, and pain that it would inflict upon being regurgitated.
If SCP-XXXX is not fed an object by a human at any point within 24 hours, it will demanifest, and teleport to the nearest human in need of a specific object.

Testing Logs

Test Feeder: Dr. Amosa
Object Fed: Old Banana

Object Received: stylish pen

Notes: "I think this lil guy is gonna be a lot of fun to work with"

Test Feeder: Dr. Paul
Object Fed: Piece of trash off of cell floor

Object Received: Wrist watch

Notes: None

Test Feeder: D-1762
Object Fed: Piece of trash off of cell floor

Object Received: Large wool quilt

Notes: None

Test Feeder: Dr. Otashi
Object Fed: Office chair (which took a considerable amount of time for SCP-XXXX to fully eat)

Object Received: Much nicer office chair

Notes: None

Test Feeder: D-82293
Object Fed: D-82293's fingernail clipping

Object Received: 2000's model flip phone (confiscated by site staff)

Notes: None

Test Feeder: D-92638 (was imprisoned for multiple accounts of animal abuse)
Object Fed: notably sharp rock

Object Received: Antique black powder bomb, with a lit fuse. As well as angry shouting from SCP-XXXX

Notes: "No more D Class! Ever! Who the hell let that guy in?

Test Feeder: Dr. Amosa
Object Fed: Piece of carpet from Dr. Amosa's office

Object Received: Flash drive. Contents were a document that was recently lost

Notes: None

Test Feeder: Dr. Karsian
Object Fed: Soft grape

Object Received: Firm grape

Notes: "Well that was unexpected."

Wow! You flipped a card and got: MyHub!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 20:50

SCP-XXXX (slime time, greaze teaze)

East wing of Miami Walmart Supercenter

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in the Miami Walmart Supercenter, in the east-wing employees-only area. An offshoot of Stationary Task Force Kappa-51, Kappa-52 "Always Lower Prices" are to double-check all papers regarding Greazeburger at ██████████████████████, a Foundation front outside the effective perimeter.

NOTICE FROM GREAZEBURGER INVESTIGATION TEAM

Personnel currently in or around the Supercenter, including any investigation or communication sites established in the 50m radius, can probably get away with submitting a blank form. Just don't mistype your ID, please.

— Dr. Kensing, Head of the Greazeburger Investigation Team

Please answer the following questions to access the full file:
If necessary, round all answers to the nearest thousandth.
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<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput"> <br>
<script>
var num3 = getRandomInt(5);
var num4 = getRandomInt(9);
var disp1 = "$ " + String(num3) + "\\times" + String(num4) + "= ? $ <br>";
document.write(disp1);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput2"> <br>
<script>
var num5 = getRandomInt(9);
var num6 = getRandomInt(9);
var num7 = getRandomInt(40);
var num8 = getRandomInt(9);
var num9 = getRandomInt(25);
var disp1 = "$ " + String(num5) + "x +" + String(num6) + "y =" + String(num7) + ", $ <br>" ;
var disp3 = "$ " + String(num8) + "x =" + String(num9) + "$ <br>";
var disp2 = "$ y=? $ <br>";
document.write(disp1);
document.write(disp3);
document.write(disp2);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput3"> <br>
Find the inverse DTFT of the rectangular pulse spectrum described over the fundamental band <br>
$ (|\Omega| \leq \pi) $ by $ X(\Omega) = rect(\Omega/2\Omega_c) $ for $ \Omega_c \leq \pi. $ <br>
<script>
var num0 = getRandomInt(3) + 1;
var disp1 = "When $ \\Omega_c = \\pi/" + num0 + "$, what is the lowest positive limiting value? <br>";
document.write(disp1);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput4"> <br>
<button type="button" onclick="getInputValue();">Submit</button>
<p id="demo"> </p>
<p id="deno"> </p>
<script>
//this is not footnotes now
var hey = ((num7-(num5 * (num9 / num8))) / num6)
var nummer = Math.round((hey + Number.EPSILON) * 1000) / 1000
function aaa(){
document.getElementById("deno").innerHTML = 'XXXX Clearance confirmed, Thank you. <br> Be sure to take extensive notes and review them outside of the effective perimeter. <hr>';

document.getElementById("invisible").style.visibility = "visible";
document.getElementById("invisible").style.position= "relative";
document.getElementById("invisible").style.top= "initial";
document.getElementById("invisible").style.opacity= "1";

//query to make content fade in hopefully
$("#invisible").delay(200).animate({marginTop: "0px"}, { queue: false, duration: 2000 });
$("#invisible").delay(200).animate({"opacity": "1"}, { queue: false, duration: 2000 });
}
function getInputValue(){
// Selecting the input element and get its value
var inputVal = document.getElementById("myInput").value;
var inputVal2 = document.getElementById("myInput2").value;
var inputVal3 = document.getElementById("myInput3").value;
var inputVal4 = document.getElementById("myInput4").value;

// Displaying the value, 3=((7-(5(9/8)))/6)
if( inputVal == num1 + num2 && inputVal2 == num3 * num4 && inputVal3 == nummer && inputVal4 == num0 && clik == 0) {
clik = 1;
document.getElementById("demo").innerHTML = '<hr> <b> LOGIN:</b> <br> Correct answers flagged. While this case is under review, please type your ID, including any classification or security clearance portions. If you have SCP-XXXX related clearances, please use your G.I.T. ID. <br> <input type="password" placeholder="Input password…" maxlength="10" value="iamO5-1duh" id="myInput5"> <br> <button type="button" onclick="aaa();">Submit</button> <hr>';

}else if(clik ==0){
clik = 1;
document.getElementById("demo").innerHTML = '<hr> <b> LOGIN:</b> <br> Please type your ID, including any classification or security clearance portions. If you have SCP-XXXX related clearances, please use your G.I.T. ID. <br> <input type="password" placeholder="Input password…" maxlength="10" value="iamO5-1duh" id="myInput5"> <br> <button type="button" onclick="aaa();">Submit</button> <hr>';

}
}

</script>

<!— add a class="invisible" into this div to make it hide —>

<div id="invisible" class="invisible">

<p id="devo"> </p>

<b> Item #: </b> SCP-XXXX </br> </br>

<b> Object Class: </b> Safe </br> </br>

<b> Special Containment Procedures: </b> SCP-XXXX is to be contained in the Miami Walmart Supercenter, in the east-wing employees-only area. An offshoot of Stationary Task Force Kappa-51, Kappa-52 "Always Lower Prices" are to double-check all papers regarding Greazeburger at <i>"Photocopies and Tie Apparel"</i>, a Foundation front outside the effective perimeter. </br> </br>

All electronics responsible for the operation and upkeep of the Miami Walmart Supercenter are to be outsourced to <i>"Photocopies and Tie Apparel"</i> as well. Stationary Task Force Kappa-51 (“Always Low Prices”) are to increase amounts of SCP-5951-2 harvested. </br> </br>

<b> Description:</b> SCP-XXXX is a landline telephone, currently located in the storage area of the east-wing of the Miami Walmart Supercenter. The phrase "FOR TRIPE, GRIPE, AND HYPE" appears to have been crudely placed on the front with a label maker. Individuals within a 50m radius of SCP-XXXX display an inability to do mathematical calculations, overestimating all results regardless of ability or problem complexity. Confidence in the resulting incorrect answer lessens the further one is from SCP-XXXX.</br> </br>

<I> 13/2/21 Description Update:</i> Disconnecting, removing, dismantling, boiling, melting, and vaporizing the telephone all have had no effect on the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX. The area around the former landline telephone's location has been determined to be the source of a bend in the fundamental laws of mathematics. A new telephone appeared shortly after complete destruction, with a second label reading "DO NOT VAPORIPE (I COULDN'T FIT THE RHYME, DONT BREAK THIS)"</br> </br>
<I> 18/2/21 Description Update:</i> This bureaucratohazard also extends to <I>all</i> mechanical and electrical evaluations—though no malfunctions, errors, or bugs are found before or after calculation. The complete mechanisms of SCP-XXXX's informational manipulation are currently unknown. </br> </br>

<b> Addendum SCP-XXXX-1: </b> Below is a log of the discovery and initial testing of SCP-XXXX: </br> </br>
<!— THIS IS AN EMAIL —>
<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>Missed Phone Call</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Hey Dr. Kensing, while you were off another phone incident happened again. I had to pick it up after drawing the short stick. He was blabbering off about his monthly report and other multidimensional problems. He gave us a gift, but he didn't sound very happy. It is ridiculous and dangerous and I don't have the words for it so I'm just attaching the log. I know you are my superior, and thus I may be insignificant, but you should read this and come back. ASAP.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
<details><summary>ATT: Incident_51-2_Documentation</summary>
<div class="blockquote" style="background-color: #f1f1f1; !important">
<!— THIS IS THE LOG STARTING HERE —>

<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> MANIFESTATION — 9:03</strong> </div></br></br>
<div class="tt"> DR. OSCAR ANSWERS PHONE — 10:29 </div></br></br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Uh… Hello? </br> </br>
<b> POI-792</b><span class="footnote">Martin Greaze, Earth's Greazeburger Representative</span><b>: </b> Welcome to the 24/7 Greazeburger Hotline, where yesterday’s meat is now suddenly neat! How can I help you, skin sack? </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Well, I'd like to uh, speak to a represe— </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> I've got some business that needs getting down to. How long has it been, Oscar? Can you check for me? </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Oscar flips a few papers and mutters inaudibly. </i></div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> A month about. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Plus a day? </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> No, minus one. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Mushy useless trivial conversationals, that's all. Before I get down to business, do you have any concerns or questions? </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Yeah, I was wondering why— </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> I'm quite fed up with your attitude, blood bowl. I called <I>you</i>. I've been looking at the papers. I've been looking at the numbers. I've quadruple checked <I>ALL</i> the figures, and I don't think you guys have been faithful to our little agreement. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Sounds of footsteps, followed by a minute of silence. </i></div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> We uh, may have been, just a tiny insignificant little bit, around maybe, uh, like, not that much…</br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Oscar shuffles in his seat.</i></div> </br>
But we might have uh missed a calculation or two I'm sure, and. Well, yeah we are a bit short, but— </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Not cool bone boy. I thought we had a solid deal. We even let you guys keep ⅔ of the profits for yourselves. Don't worry though, this isn't nothing a little bargaining can't fix. Our last agreement? Consider it nixed. But! For ⅖ profit and a bit more of that goop, we'll keep your planets name off our focus group list. Ive got a pen right here ready to write Terra and cross it out again. Hell, I'll even throw in a little gift for yall. Whaddya say, uh, skin sack?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Well, I'll have to talk to my supervisor and all but—</br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Pleasure doing business with you Oscar, I'd kiss you if this phone and these pesky cords weren't in the way. Remember, you can’t spell “Greaze” without “EZ”!</br></br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> At this moment, the phone line is severed, leaving the handset outside of the machine and rendered useless. </i></div> </br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
<div style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 10px;"> <b>Closing Statement: </b>Approximently 30 seconds after the phone line's severance, SCP-XXXX manifested. </div>
</div>
</details>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: Missed Phone Call</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Oh yeah, also, could we start testing this gift with a D-Class or two?

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: RE: Missed Phone Call</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Finished reading the log, I'm headed over. You can start drafting plans but please wait for me to greenlight them.
</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Kensing. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="tt"> <strong><i>2/2/21</i> Testing Proposals: </strong></div>

<!— I AM WRITING A BLOQUOTE TEST FORMAT THING —>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #1:</b> Test any memetic or exposure related damages from exposure to "gift", now formally designated as SCP-XXXX.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was told to spend 24 hours around SCP-XXXX, including sleeping. </br>

<b>Result:</b> No significant results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) That's good.

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #2:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and place it to his ear, relaying all information. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Besides a low hum, no results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Jr. Dr. Ptacher) Yeah, I didn't expect much. At least the thing isn't poisonous or acidic. Or venomous.

</div>

</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #3:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and say words.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone, place it to his ear and politely say hello. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Besides a low hum, no results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Jr. Dr. Ptacher) Expected.

</div>

</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #4:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and say rude words.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone, place it to his ear and rudely say hello, explicative usage encouraged. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Besides a low hum, no results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #1:</b> (Jr. Dr. Ptacher) Expected. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #2:</b> (Jr. Dr. Oscar) I know rigorous research and all is our game but can we try actually using the damn phone?!

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #5:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and dial the number (666)-666-6666.

<div style="color: #bd4d37; border: 1px solid #bd4d37; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #e6bab3;"> <b> DENIED </b> </div></br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Perhaps we should choose a number that exists, and one that can be completely tracked. Reprimandation will be considered if you fail to take your job <i>and</i> this anomaly seriously Dr. Ptacher.</br>

</div>

</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #6:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and dial a prepaid mobile phone.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and dial the prepaid mobile phone number. </br>

<b>Result:</b> The call went to voicemail. No observable effects on the phone, subject, or SCP-XXXX.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #1:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) I'll try this again tomorrow.</br>

</div>

</br>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #6:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and dial Dr. Kensing's phone number.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> Dr. Kensing's work phone was placed in the room with D-2983. D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and dial Dr. Kensing's number. </br>

<b>Result:</b> The call went through, but Dr. Kensing's phone did not ring. PoI-792 answered on the other line. See Incident_51-3_Log for further information</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #1:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) I wonder if he has my cell number now. He seems happier this time around. Less stress for me. </br>

</div>

<details><summary>ATT: Incident_51-3_Documentation</summary>
<div class="blockquote">
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> PoI-792 ANSWERS — 14:00</strong> </div></br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> A zipper is audible </i> </div> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Welcome to the 25/7 Greazeburger Hotline, where yesterday’s bone is now suddenly in the zone! How can I help you? </br> </br>
<b> D-2983 </b> Uh… Hello? </br> </br>
<b> POI-792</b> Did you guys send another one green as a golf course? I'm not even on hours right now. I'm taking time out of my day to keep this shtick silky smooth and you guys are throwing glibbers in my machinery right now. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Kensing begins instructing D-2983 on what to say. </i> </div> </br>
<b> D-2983 </b> No, this is Kensing. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792</b> Wow… Skin sack through a skin sack, I'm impressed. Whaddya need buddy-pal?</br> </br>
<b> D-2983 </b> He wants to know what you are doing. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Another zipper is audible </i> </div> </br>
<b> POI-792</b> I'm relieving myself, looking at these charts I mean. I see beautiful numbers here, I'm quite proud of your guys's work. You've really stepped up just in time for monthly reports, you all should be proud. Now if you don't have anything important to say I'm going to have to hang up. Just remember, you can’t spell “Greaze” without “EZ”! </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> PoI-792 hangs up the call. </i> </div> </br>

<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
</div>
</details>

<div class="tt"> <b>Notice: </b>All data irrelevant to SCP-XXXX, or experiments containing hazourous information and materials have been removed or expunged, as per the Greazeburger Partnership Code, Privacy Policy, Section 19-E as well as the Greazeburger Partnership Code, Protection Policy, Section 14-B.</div>

<details><summary>ATT: February Monthly Report</summary>
<p id="devdo"></p>
<p id="devso"></p>
</details>

<div class="tt"> <strong>Relevant emails from <I>3/2-4/2/21:</i> </strong></div></br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Hey Dr. Kensing. Multiple researchers and I all were working on our monthly payment to Greaze nearly all day, but on my drive home I realized that we did both too much work and that none of it is remotely correct. This is incredibly concerning that all of us were incorrect. I know that I am not on the most secure connection currently but this is urgent. I'm on my way back to correct our errors.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; I'm back in, we were waaaaay off, we were basically robbing Greaze blind.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: RE: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; I'm nearly out the door but I'm tired. I might've screwed up a little bit of subtraction. Can anyone still there fix it? It's plainly obvious, look on page 4.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Why am I getting 900 emails about extra pages being added to the work? What are you guys doing over there? I'll be in tomorrow. It's basic algebra.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Kensing. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>4/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Ok, came in and got about another two-and-a-half pages done, It should be accurate now.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Kensing. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>4/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Sorry I arrived late, but you all need to come outside. I'm standing by my car. Please hurry.
</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<details><summary>23784_2_4_AUDIO.mp3</summary>
<div class="blockquote">

<div class="tt">The following log was pulled with permission off of Junior Researcher Oscar's cellphone </div>
<div style="border-bottom:1px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> START — 8:54</strong> </div></br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Multiple people are shuffling around. </i> </div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Test, Test, alright. Uh names, titles, whatever, just go in a circle. I'll start. Junior Researcher Oscar. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> Doctor Ptacher. What are we doing?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Shhhhh. Next person. </br> </br>
<b> Hugh Vargas: </b> 51-Kappa MTFC Vargas.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Doctor Kensing, Head of Investigation Team. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Connor: </b> Doctor Connor. </br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Eric, I'm just a custodian. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Good. Uh, this should be enough. Nice variety. This is very important. I've brought some post-it notes with me.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> What the hell is going on?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> I'm very concerned with the emails, I read them all when I got home once again and nothing makes sense. I've got a post-it note with a reminder to check my car before going into work today, and that should hopefully work. I need everyone to follow me. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>Dr. Oscar can be heard walking closer to the entrance.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Think about the balance sheet guys? Isn't it weird how complicated this, stuff, is? What is four minus two?</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Uh, its two, sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Why can't we do simple subtraction on a piece of paper? It's a piece of paper? And most importantly—what are we all doing out here?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> You called us out here Doctor.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Yeah but I'm making a big fuss over nothing, aren't I. And we still have some more math to do, don't we?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Connor: </b> I guess you are right. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> You guys go on in, I'll be right there, I just need to go grab my wallet real quick, I left it in my car.</br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>The other noises grow distant for four seconds before Dr. Oscar shouts.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Guys! Come back! This is what I was talking about!</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> What! </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> It's like you forget how weird this all is when you get close enough. Why did I just accept everything and let you all go? I think I stopped the moment I realized this, I need you all to stand behind me.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Are you okay Doctor?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> I've never been better, get behind me.</br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>The phone shifts as Dr. Oscar pulls something from his pocket.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Look, I've written two plus two equals four on a sticky note. Eric, hold this and take five steps forward.</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Now Eric. Look at the note.</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Tell me what you think.</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> It's a tad confusing, sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> What? It's just simple addition. Is it correct?</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> I'm not sure. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Do you see this Ken? I think something is screwing with our paper. This is a logistical nightmare sir.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> This makes absolutely no sense. Let me try. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>Dr. Ptacher is heard walking to Eric.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Well, Ptacher, tell me about the note.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> Pretty sure this is wrong, problem solved. Can we go in now. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>Inaudible whispering, forty seconds pass.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Everyone but Vargas can enter, but ANY numbers you guys are messing with need to be told to Vargas. It is imperative you do <I>not</i> argue with him. He's got a radio and a Pepsi, he just needs a TI-84 to check everything we do.</br> </br>

<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Oscar ends the recording. </i> </div> </br>

<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
</div>
</details>
</br>
<div class="tt"><strong><i>4/2/21</i> Testing Proposals:</strong></div>
</br>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #7:</b> Make a D-Class ask Martin what the hell is going on.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and dial "[phone]". Dr. Kensing is outside of the effective zone instructing D-2983 on what to say. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Martin Greaze answered on the other line. See Incident_51-4_Log for further information</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Damnit. </br>

</div>

<details><summary>ATT: Incident_51-4_Documentation</summary>
<div class="blockquote">
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> PoI-792 ANSWERS — 14:00</strong> </div></br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Welcome to the 25/7 Greazeburger Hotline, where yesterday’s <I>skin</i> has never <I>been</i> better! How can I help you? </br> </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> What the hell is going on? </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> I have no clue what's going on Jeffery. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> D-2983 is audibly taken aback. </i> </div> </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> How did you… Uh, no I am still talking for Doctor Kensing. He is the one that wants to know what the hell is going on. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> I still have no clue what you are talking about.</br> </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> He says they know something's up and they, I mean he, wants to talk </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> Well, just put him on the phone. </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> He says he will not move any closer. He really would like to talk. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> Ah, well. I'm getting a call right now. Sorry, gotta go, important business things. Stop looking, caring, and keep up the great work. Remember, you can’t spell “Greaze” without “EZ”! </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> PoI-792 hangs up the call. </i> </div> </br>

<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
</div>
</details>

</br>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #8:</b> Find the effective perimeter.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> Store was cleared 'for construction'. Researchers spent three (3) days cross-checking simple mathematics with MTFC Vargas around the Miami Walmart Supercenter.</br>

<b>Result:</b> Epicenter of anomaly determined to be the telephone. Effective radius is approximately 50m.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) All mathematics must be done outside this perimeter. A new foundation front is underway to house Kappa-52, created for double-checking our work. </br>
</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #9:</b> Destroy SCP-XXXX.

<div style="color: #bd4d37; border: 1px solid #bd4d37; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #e6bab3;"> <b> DENIED </b> </div></br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Please reread the logo on your ID. We are required to be diplomatic. </br>
</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #10:</b> Test machines.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> A standard TI-84 was tested against MTFC Vargas offsite. </br>

<b>Result:</b> All answers provided by the standard TI-84 were larger than MTFC Vargas's answers.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Dr. Ptacher:) Very interesting, but expected. Updated file. </br>
</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #11:</b> Move SCP-XXXX.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 moved SCP-XXXX one (1) foot to the left. </br>

<b>Result:</b> No change observed in perimeter.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Dr. Ptacher:) Very interesting. I have one last idea. </br>

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #12:</b> Destroy SCP-XXXX. </br>

<b>Researcher Pre-commentary:</b> (Dr. Ptacher:) Look, I'm sure if Greaze didn't want this thing to be destroyed we won't be able to destroy it. It doesn't even control the damn radius. Let me destroy it for Christ's sake. </br>

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> Dr. Ptacher damaged and destroyed SCP-XXXX in several ways. </br>

<b>Result:</b> SCP-XXXX rematerialized after complete destruction. Description updated to match Ptacher's recent tests.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) There must be reality bend in this area. Keep everything closed and the radius clear. A Scranton Reality Anchor will shortly be in place. </br>

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #13:</b> Bring a Scranton Reality Anchor on site

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<div style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Actions Taken:</b> Dr. Oscar and Dr. Kensing attempted to bring a SRA to SCP-XXXX </br>
</div>

<div style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Result:</b> The Scranton Reality Anchor malfunctioned upon crossing the perimeter. A small explosion occurred. Dr. Kensing sustained minor injuries (a fractured tibia, bruising above his left eye, and various small lacerations). Dr. Oscar sustained major injuries (including a broken arm, multiple lacerations and abrasions, a dislocated shoulder, and a short temporal dislocation). </br> &emsp; Dr. Kensing and Dr. Oscar were moved into the infirmary, and Dr. Oscar was administered Class B Amnestetics upon return of basic cognitive functioning. After one week of administrative leave for Dr. Kensing, and two weeks of infirmary stay for Dr. Oscar, both returned to their former positions on Greazeburger's Investigation Team.</br>
</div>

<div style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Turns out this thing really bends all math. Probably messes with the laws of mathematics themselves. Also turns out most machines run on math. I take full responsibility for this mistake and have updated the description of SCP-XXXX to reflect this test result. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<b> Addendum SCP-XXXX-2: </b> </br> </br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments for March</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/3/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; I'm finally healthy and catching up on what I need to know but don't remember. Thank you all for the cards and nice words—made my stay 103 times better. It is nice to be back at my desk wearing these tacky Wal-Mart vests though. </br> &emsp; I am just sending this email to tell you all that I found some math errors while looking at the attached image for March's balance sheets. It was a bit under ⅖ and don't wanna cheap out on them and cause something terrible, so I spent all day yesterday correcting them before I updated the image and sent the owed money to Greazeburger's Incorporated.
</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<!— this is the end OF THE FUCKING DOCUMENT PLEASE DONT PUT ANY PAGE CONTENT AFTER —>
<div id="footers">
</div>

</div>

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[[/html]]

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

The ListPages module does not work recursively.

For more information, see Licensing Guide.
Licensing Disclosures

Filename: mart.jpg
Name: "Walmart"
Author: JeepersMedia
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/6ceede95-3346-4cc4-8ade-5fa67e05170b

Filename: phone.png
Name: "Emptiness as Wal-Mart Closes Shop"
Author: Robert Stinnett
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/ffb66756-941a-4810-ace1-7aad17c2b794
Additional Notes: This image was the base of an edited image, following image was used as a second source, all other differences were done by me in GIMP.

Name: "Phone"
Author: Justin Brockie
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/210aabae-0c3b-442a-9596-c5785526e307
Additional Notes: The tiny phone in phone.png is this phone

For more information about on-wiki content, visit the Licensing Master List.

SCP-XXXX-J

SCP-XXXX-J on Dr.Thomas' desk

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is a textbook labeled "The Princeton Companion to Mathematics". It is stored in the library of Site-45 on a very nice shelf that Dr. Thomas asked for, containing several other books Dr. Thomas needed to understand SCP-XXXX-J. All Foundation researchers are encouraged to read this amazing book. Simplified texts based on SCP-XXXX-J are to be supplied to various levels of education in America. Pipe smoking is to be banned to minimize hazards.

Description: The book is an anti-cognitohazard. Anomalous properties upon extended study include increased scores on IQ tests, higher chance of promotion and increased pay, reduced physical attraction upon extended communication with potential love interests, higher chance of developing a tobacco habit (manifests as pipe smoking in most cases), and increased ego.

Its contents are not dissimilar from any other math textbook. It is currently unknown how these anomalous properties manifest in each patient, as full manifestation can take years. All tests into the source of these properties yield inconclusive.

Research Logs:
Testing began with a single page:

+ SHOW ANTI-COGNITOHAZARD

Page of SCP-XXXX-J

Interviewed: D-1865

Interviewer: Jr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after three days of D-1865's exposure to one page of SCP-XXXX-J. D-1865 was given problems from Dr. Jefferson's son's 11th-grade algebra homework.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: How are you feeling D-1865?

D-1865: I'm alright.

Dr. Jefferson: How are you handling the page?

D-1865: Y'know, I kinda remember this stuff. Though this triangle stuff on the worksheet is quite confusing. I don't think the page you gave me covers it.

Dr. Jefferson: Ah, well you see—

Dr. Jefferson gestures a sine wave in the air with his pointer.

Dr. Jefferson: That's a sine wave, which is just a normal wave—if it makes sense you can think of a circle rolling on a line.

Dr. Jefferson grabs a piece of paper and draws a circle on a line.

Dr. Jefferson: And you pick a point and follow it as it rolls and—

D-1865: Where is the triangle?

Dr. Jefferson: Well, you put a triangle in the circle and as the circle rolls, the height from the point to the line is sine.

D-1865: I'm not sure I'm following…

[20 minutes of repetitive explanations omitted for brevity]

D-1865 is satisfied with his understanding and asks to be dismissed in time for lunch. Dr. Jeffersons allows D-1865 to leave but assigns D-1865 some homework, stressing tomorrow's due date.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: D-1865 was able to complete the homework assignment, missing only one question (but it was a particularly complex secant function so Dr. Jefferson's counted it as missed bonus points). Another homework assignment was assigned, but D-1865 was killed in a different SCP test before it was able to be completed. On his way to the infirmary, D-1865 was able to predict the time of his death with an error of two minutes using a trigonometric dampening function to simulate his blood loss. Dr. Jefferson was promoted to Senior Researcher following this display of mathematical prowess.

Testing with the full book was approved on D-2937. Additionally, supplemental works may be provided if requested by test subjects.

---

Interviewed: D-2937

Interviewer: Sr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after two weeks of D-2937's exposure to SCP-XXXX-J

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: How are you feeling D-2937?

D-2937: My head is killing me, I don't know what the fuck any of this means.

Dr. Jefferson: What do you mean?

D-2937: What the fuck is a derivative, Doctor?

Dr. Jefferson: Ah… Well, that's tough to explain.

Dr. Jefferson shifts in his seat, the room is silent for around 20 seconds.

Dr. Jefferson: Do you know what a function is?

D-2937: No.

Dr. Jefferson mutters an explicative under his breath.

[40 minutes of explanation omitted for brevity.]

D-2937: Oh, I think I get it now.

Dr. Jefferson: Good.

D-2937: So what's an integral?

Dr. Jefferson: I'll drop off some more books

Dr. Jefferson quickly leaves.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: After receiving additional books, D-2937 requested several pieces of scratch paper and pre-sharpened #2 pencils.

Interviewed: D-2937

Interviewer: Sr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after six weeks of D-2937's constant exposure to SCP-XXXX-J, along with various other requested writings.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: How are you feeling today D-2937?

D-2937: Look at this Doctor!

D-2937 leaps out of his seat holding several pieces of paper.

Dr. Jefferson: Novel. Unfortunately, the cubic formula has been discovered already.

D-2937: Ah that's stupid.

Dr. Jefferson: I do like your use of spherical topology though. Very inventive.

D-2937: Ah thanks, that dumb cluttered topology textbook was actually quite useful.

Dr. Jefferson: Interesting. Anything else?

D-2937: Uh yeah, do you have anything that needs solving?

Dr. Jefferson: Ill check.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: D-2937 asked for more books on various topics (some not related to math). D-2937 asked to devise the maximum sized sofa that could fit in a 1x1 meter hallway corner in a separate wing of Site-45⁴

Interviewed: D-2937

Interviewer: Sr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after three months of D-2937's constant exposure to SCP-XXXX-J.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: Did you come up with anything D-2937?

D-2937: Yeah, I got 2.2197m.

Dr. Jefferson grabs D-2937's proof and looks at it incredibly carefully.

Dr. Jefferson: Topographical genius.

D-2937: Really?

Dr. Jefferson: How did you come up with this?

D-2937: Just tinkered around with numbers and such. Like the books explain.

Dr. Jefferson: Wow. Have you considered architecture as a career path?

D-2937: No not really, I've been sitting behind bars for a while.

Dr. Jefferson: I may just contact my superiors. Have a good day Thomas.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Under supervision, D-2937 was promoted to the rank of Junior Researcher—specializing in containment and transport.

Dr. Thomas showed me this proof that God is a bitch. Brilliant.

Dr. Thomas pictured lecturing on reflections of psionic radiation

Addendum:

Dr. Thomas has proposed picking prospective researchers using SCP-XXXX-J.

Though some D-Class are entirely unresponsive to SCP-XXXX-J exposure, many show varying degrees of positive responses to SCP-XXXX-J's anti-congitohazardous properties.

So far, Dr. Thomas has been the most responsive to these effects. He has taken on many projects—requiring large amounts of Foundation funding. Unfortunately, he cannot provide much out of pocket, as a large portion of his salary goes to organic tobacco and his ever-growing tobacco pipe collection.

But you have to admit, they look pretty sick:

[[footnoteblock]]

Links

COLAB:
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GOC SITE:

MONEY SKIP:
empty parent
main SCP
updated SCP
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Wow! You flipped a card and got: cole's parawatch!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 20:22

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electricspookalo 3/01/2017 (Mon) 00:30:18 #83759875

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Guys, I'm kinda scared.

Stingywaffle Month/Day/Year (Mon) 00:32:27 #17356985

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What happened? Are you ok?

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