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DATE: 07 Apr 2021 22:02

Starborn "Gods", the work of literature at the center of SCP-XXXX.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: Although SCP-XXXX as an event has concluded, further monitoring of its participants are necessary. The correspondence and conversation of these participants are to be monitored for details regarding SCP-XXXX.

The Space Shuttle Enterprise remains missing as of 2020. Foundation satellites, as well as personnel on SCP-2117, are to monitor the solar system in an attempt to discern its location, and attempt containment of it when it is located. The Enterprise is currently being considered for designation under a separate SCP filing.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to an anomalous legal trial involving Belgian author, conspiracy theorist, and self-proclaimed UFOlogist Ulrich von Eichmann.¹ Von Eichmann himself is the defendant in the case.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a masculine, bearded humanoid of Greek descent, standing at 1.3m and mildly obese.
They act as von Eichmann's defense attorney, claiming to be 'state-appointed'. They have shown perfect recall of all materials related to the case, and are apparently capable of absorbing written material through touch; the medium that the writing is on dissolves into liquid following this process. SCP-XXXX-1 is fluent in Greek and English, and wears a grey suit with a hemlock flower on their left lapel.

SCP-XXXX 2 is a feminine humanoid of Greek descent wearing black robes and a purple blindfold, acting as the impartial judge in SC[[include :scp-wiki:theme:black-highlighter-theme]]

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: Although SCP-XXXX as an event has concluded, further monitoring of its participants are necessary. The correspondence and conversation of these participants are to be monitored for details regarding SCP-XXXX.

The Space Shuttle Enterprise remains missing as of 2020. Foundation satellites, as well as personnel on SCP-2117, are to monitor the solar system in an attempt to discern its location, and attempt containment of it when it is located. The Enterprise is currently being considered for designation under a separate SCP filing.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to an anomalous legal trial involving Belgian author, conspiracy theorist, and self-proclaimed UFOlogist Ulrich von Eichmann.² Von Eichmann himself is the defendant in the case.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a masculine, bearded humanoid of Greek descent, standing at 1.3m and mildly obese.
They act as von Eichmann's defense attorney, claiming to be 'state-appointed'. They have shown perfect recall of all materials related to the case, and are apparently capable of absorbing written material through touch; the medium that the writing is on dissolves into liquid following this process. SCP-XXXX-1 is fluent in Greek and English, and wears a grey suit with a hemlock flower on their left lapel.

SCP-XXXX 2 is a feminine humanoid of Greek descent wearing black robes and a purple blindfold, acting as the impartial judge in SCP-XXXX. Despite being blindfolded (and, if court transcripts are to be believed, lacking sight entirely), SCP-XXXX-2 displays omniscience within their courtroom, knowing the actions of all individuals within the court. SCP-XXXX-2 is capable of bilocation, and has used this ability to act as their own bailiff, ejecting disruptive elements from their courtroom.

SCP-XXXX-3 is a masculine humanoid of unclear descent, with the head of an African sacred ibis (Threskiornis aethiopicus), acting as the court recorder for SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX-3 has been cooperative with Foundation efforts towards obtaining information regarding SCP-XXXX, due to the proceedings being 'public record.' Recovered footage has shown SCP-XXXX-3 writing with, alternately, a stenotype, quill, pencil and paper, typewriter, and laptop computer.

SCP-XXXX-4 designates the jury as a whole, which is made up of anywhere from 200 to 400 members. The exact makeup of the jury is unknown, as entry to the jury box requires that the jurors wear robes and masks at all times, but several members do not have a humanoid body model.

The legal counsel for the plaintiffs is already documented with an SCP designation under SCP-3807. SCP-3807 claims to be representing at least five different plaintiffs in a class-action lawsuit against von Eichmann, but is 'not at liberty to discuss their clients.'

SCP-XXXX began in 2018, following von Eichmann being served summons by SCP-3807 at a UFOlogy conference in Brussels. Von Eichmann disposed of the summons, only to find over four hundred additional copies in their hotel room. SCP-3807 proceeded to abduct them from the lobby of their hotel. An abridged version of the summons and accompanying letter of complaint are below:

To: Ulrich von Eichmann

You have been summoned to the First Celestial Court of Invidia³ for hearing of a civil lawsuit within 0 days. Failure to respond to this summons will result in a judgement by default against you by the plaintiff for relief requested in the accompanying complaint.

CELESTIAL COURT OF INVIDIA

The Society for the Preservation and Promotion
of Ancient and Extinct Cultures

versus Civil Case 00001

Ulrich von Eichmann

COMPLAINT

Plaintiffs complain against Defendant as follows:

1. On October 19th, 1983, Defendant published the book Starborn 'Gods', a manuscript which alleges that civilizations both extinct and extant (particularly the inhabitants of Kemet,⁴ the Acoma,⁵ the Rapa Nui,⁶ the Nazca,⁷ and Those Who Built the Place of Reeds⁸) could not have built their own temples, monuments and assorted architecture, and associated technology and infrastructure needed to create said temples, monuments and assorted architecture, due to 'mental and technological simplicity' in these regions.

2. An updated version of this manuscript, published on September 10th, 2017, uses forged items in order to make a claim that these civilizations were definitively visited by alien beings who conferred on them the tools and knowledge. These forgeries depict deities emerging from spaceship-like constructions, which is a clear falsehood.

3. This injury has caused disruption among the cultural noospheres of the plaintiff, as well as mortal (i.e. human) parties related to the plaintiff. Furthermore, several individuals represented by the plaintiff have been dealt permanent psychic harm. The continued existence of Starborn 'Gods' worsens this injury due to the spread of misinformation.

DEMAND FOR RELIEF

The plaintiffs demand the immediate retraction of Herr von Eichmann's manuscript, the discontinuation of its printing, and destruction of all unsold copies, and a written apology. Furthermore, Herr von Eichmann is to pay all royalties earned from Starborn 'Gods' for the past twenty-five years to the Plaintiff, as well as the forfeiting of their heart.

The plaintiffs demand a jury.

This summons must be answered immediately. Failure to do so will result in collection by the plaintiff's representative, Seth Hasani, for the immediate commencement of the hearing.

Addendum: Foundation interaction with SCP-XXXX: In May of 2018, Jr. Researcher Thomas Gardener was allowed a week-long leave for jury duty on a civil case. Gardener proceeded to vanish for over five weeks, with various locator beacons that would have been on their person (including a sub-dermal chip) having been rendered non-functional. At the time, it was believed that Gardener had gone AWOL.

On June 25th, 2018, Gardener's beacon was detected in Cairo, Egypt. Foundation agents were sent to detain him for immediate interrogation and trial. Approximately three hours into their interrogation, the following occurred:

Agent Tayfur: Do we have to start breaking bones?

Jr. Res. Gardener: I'm telling you the truth!

Agent Tayfur: There is no way you were in a courtroom for five weeks, and nowhere in the world uses a jury that big.

Js. Res. Gardener: I swear, I was. Look, if you'd just look at my body camera, I forgot to take it off when I went in—

Agent Tayfur: If you were in court, what was the case about?

Jr. Res. Gardener: I don't think I'm allowed to—

At this point, the door to the interrogation room opened, despite the door appearing to be closed from the outside. SCP-3807 and SCP-XXXX-3 enter. SCP-3807 looks visibly flustered.

SCP-3807: First of all, I would like to apologize. We didn't mean for such great temporal displacement to take place, but—

Agent Tayfur draws their firearm and attempts to discharge it at SCP-3807. The powder in their bullets does not ignite. They then attempt to draw their combat knife, which results in the blade breaking off in the sheathe.

SCP-3807: We're trying to have a conversation here.

Jr. Res. Gardener: Jesus Christ, what the fuck?

SCP-3807: I do apologize for the state you find yourself in. I've come to provide recompense.

Agent Tayfur: What the hell are you talking about?

SCP-XXXX-3 produces a USB drive and places it on the table.

SCP-XXXX-3: Within this you'll find transcripts of the trial which Mr. Gardener was a juror on, as well as photographic evidence of his presence, and some miscellaneous details. I know how much you like hoarding knowledge.

Agent Tayfur: Bullshit.

SCP-XXXX-3: You could also not report two Type-Black entities entering an interrogation and freeing your prisoner.

Agent Tayfur What do you mean—

At this point, SCP-3807 has untied Gardener and is leading him towards the door. Agent Tayfur lunges at them, but suddenly finds himself lost in a field of reeds.

SCP-XXXX-3: We can't have that. Sorry. Oh, and if you try destroying the drive, I think you'll find that hippos aren't as extinct in the Nile as you'd like to believe.

SCP-3087: What have I told you about gloating, Thoth?

SCP-XXXX-3: Sometimes, father, I think you use the Hellenic pronunciation on purpose.

A large flock of African sacred ibises appear out of the reeds and surround Agent Tayfur as he attempts to exit the field. He emerges half an hour later. By this time, another copy of the USB drive had been delivered to Gardener's team lead and site director.

The transcripts present on SCP-XXXX detail another Foundation interaction. Dr. Miguel Cortez, a Foundation Egyptologist at Site-29, was allowed a one-day leave in May of 2018 to act as an expert witness in a trial on antiquities theft; Dr. Cortez has done this several times in his career, both prior to and during his tenure in the Foundation. Following his testimony, he was unable to provide a clear recollection of the details regarding the trial, until viewing this transcript.

Miguel Cortez, PhD, after having been first duly sworn,⁹ did testify as follows:

DIRECT EXAMINATION

BY MR. HASANI

Q: Could you please state your name for the record?

A: What the hell is going on here? Are you—

Q: Please state your name.

A: Uh. Dr. Miguel Cortez.

Q: Do you know why you're here?

A: No, but given that I'm in the witness stand, I'm assuming that I'm not about to be fed to Ammit.

Q: Are you telling me you don't know why you're here?

A: No. I… think I'm an expert witness?

Q: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the organization alternately called the Foundation, the Jailers, 'Those Bastards Who Ripped Off the Center's Acronym Wrong', etc?

A: I… plead the fifth?

Q: I don't know what that means. Just answer the question, please.

A: Are all of you… anomalous? In the know?

Q: Yes, we are.

MR. SOCRATES
Objection, Your Honor. Relevance?

THE COURT
Mr. Hasani?

MR. HASANI
We've run into a snag. There's meant to be a… measure that informs you of the details of the case going in, but your brain is so full of counter-memes and anti-memes and Blasphemy-only-knows what else that it doesn't work. So if you could just…

THE COURT
Please strike that from the record. Dr. Cortez, I do not tolerate profanity in my court, no matter how creative.

Let the record show that Mr. Hasani has conferred the knowledge onto the witness.¹⁰ Mr. Socrates, your objection is overruled.

MR. HASANI:
Q: Do you understand now?

A: My head is killing me. But I understand, I think.

Q: With the assurance that all here know of your organization, are you part of the Foundation?

A: I am.

Q: Do you recognize the defendant?

A: Yeah. Ulrich von Eichmann.

Q: What is your opinion of him?

A: At least Chariots of the Gods? was well-written. Starborn 'Gods' is nonsense atop pseudoscience.

Q: Starborn 'Gods' makes the claim that the Pyramid of Cheops could not have been constructed using technology available at the time. What is your opinion on this?

A: I'm not going to laugh, because I'm not sure how it would look in the transcript. But that's my opinion.

Q: How could they have built the Pyramids, then?

A: You're asking me this? You? Aren't you the Set?

Q: Autographs later. For now, humor me. Please.

A: For one, incredibly skilled workers. They weren't slave labor, like the defendant's manuscript attests. They were paid well and got to live next to the construction site. Engineers worked for years to figure out a system of ramps, pulleys, wheels and lord knows what else to build them. We don't know the exact details, but we know that they were built by human beings.

Q: I suppose you would know better than most? Time travel and all?

A: We… don't have time travel.

Q: …oh. I motion for that to be stricken from the record?

A: Wait, do we?

Q: Objection. Irrelevant.

A: You… don't object to the witness. Do you?

Q: Look, I'm used to having cases dismissed on account of a choir using a courtroom for practice, or the prosecution eating their own evidence. Actually having to litigate something that isn't trial by combat is new territory for me.

A: And the defense is Socrates. Yikes.

Q: Ra help me.

MR. HASANI

Your honor, I tender the witness to the defense.

BY MR. SOCRATES
Q: How long have you been with the Foundation?

A: Seven years.

Q: Would you say that Starborn 'Gods' or works like it pose a threat to the integrity of your so-called veil?

A: No.

Q: Why is that?

A: Because it's utter bunk.

Q: Is there evidence of extraterrestrial visitation in the time defined as 'Before Common Era'?

A: Admittedly, there is some.

Q: Elaborate.

A: It's a fringe theory, even in the Foundation. Supposedly, the Mitochondrial Eve— a woman whose DNA is present in all human mitochondria— was extraterrestrial in origin, as is evident by the presence of triple-helix mitochondrial DNA among the population of countries such as Gambia and the Ukraine.

Q: So, it's possible that extraterrestrials may have shaped human civilization in some way?

A: Anything's possible. Even if extraterrestrials did visit humanity during ancient times, it would have had little effect— the connections we have on Earth today would be mind-boggling to anyone even three hundred years ago, let alone three-thousand.

Q: So, you're saying that there's a possibility that—

A: [interjecting] May I be permitted some irony?

Q: I suppose?

A: von Eichmann's work, and the work of every other individual who purports the existence of ancient aliens, is nothing short of creationism.¹¹

Q: You do realize that all individuals in this court, barring myself, yourself and the defendant, are some form of deity, and therefore creators?

A: Hence the irony. I mean no offense to you, your Honor, but what von Eichmann is saying is, essentially, 'no human could have accomplished what these civilizations did.' This same man held a conference in Rome in 1999, less than half a mile away from the Colosseum.

Q: The Colosseum was built over 2500 years later than the pyramids. Technology had advanced by then, surely?

A: That's not the point. Von Eichmann makes the argument that the works he discusses in Starborn 'Gods' are too perfect to be created by humans that he calls 'primitive' and 'dull.' He treats the Egyptian civilization like they're Neanderthals banging rocks together to crush salt, to say nothing of the way the Pueblo are talked about.

Q: And how are the Pueblo talked about?

A: He literally says that they didn't have the know-how to stack up stones to build a wall.

Q: What would his motive be to portray history in the way you allege?

A: I think that's a question for you to answer.

Q: I don't follow.

A: And it's not my job to ask those questions.

Q: But is there any possibility these works could have been built by extraterrestrials?

A: There is some possibility. But it is very, very slim.¹²

MR. SOCRATES: No further questions, your honor.

Following this, Dr. Cortez re-appeared in his car outside of the courthouse where he had been asked to report. His right shoe contained approximately a kilogram of sand.

Addendum: Further Court Transcripts: The USB drive that SCP-XXXX-3 gave to the Foundation contains several hundred pages of transcripts of SCP-XXXX's proceedings. Several items considered pertinent or notable are listed below, along with annotations provided by SCP-XXXX-3, presented in italics.

---

DR. ROSARIO VASQUEZ¹³
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI
…
Q: What does the expression 'Rome was not built in a day' mean?

A: It… means that big feats take a long time to do.

Q: How long did it take to finish the Colosseum?

A: I…

THE COURT
The witness will answer the question.

BY MR. HASANI:

A: Sorry, I'm just… distracted by the ears. How are they doing that?

Q: Objection, irrelevant. How long did it take to finish the Colosseum?

A: Maybe nine or ten years?

Q: A similar time frame was needed to construct the pyramids at Giza, yes?

A: I think so. I studied some Egyptology in college, a few people thought it took twenty.

Q: Would it be reasonable to assume that advanced technology on an extraterrestrial scale would have been able to finish the Colosseum in less than half that time?

A: Isn't this a trial for theft of cultural artefacts? Why the hell are we talking about aliens?

---

CROSS EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI
Q: To clarify, how do you pronounce your name?

A: Nata´aska.¹⁴

Q: Honored Nata´aska, Guard of Soyok Wuhti, enforcer of children. What is the role you hold in your pantheon?

A: I am not part of a 'pantheon.' I am a spirit, not a god. There is a difference.

Q: Beg your pardon. Then what is your role among the kasina spirits?

A: I act in several capacities. As a guide for children, I enforce good behavior.

Q: And what happens if the children do not behave?

A: I eat them.

Q: You… eat them?

A: That's what's said in my lore.

Q: May I ask why you eat children?

A: How else are other children going to learn to respect their parents?

Q: What are some things a child could be eaten for?

A: Lying to their parents and friends, disrespecting the culture, not going to bed at the appointed hour. The list goes on.

Q: Would the offense of claiming that your culture, and possibly yourself, are some form of extraterrestrial, be grounds for you to devour these children?

A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: It is not a lie, it is ignorance. I would not eat a blind child for not knowing what color the sky is.

Q: But… are you extraterrestrial in origin?

A: I do not know.

Q: Could you please elaborate on that point?

A: Quite frankly, white men have misrepresented, mis-documented and eradicated my people to the point where western views of us are more prevalent than native views, at least in terms of sheer numbers. There are more people who study the Kasina than who actually perform the rituals.

Q: But… you exist. Objectively. Are you an extraterrestrial, to the best of your knowledge?

A: No.

Q: Do you believe any of your fellow Kasina to be extraterrestrial?

A: I don't know.

At this point, Seth lets out a string of swears so foul that I fear to transcribe them. Thankfully, I do not need to.

THE COURT
Strike that from the record. Mr. Hasani, refrain from profanity in the courtroom, especially in the presence of a witness. We will now take a fifteen-minute recess for you to collect yourself.

---

DR. QUENTIN MORGAN-RUSSEL
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES:

Q: State your name, for the record?

A: Dr. Quentin Morgan-Russel.

A thoroughly unremarkable-looking man. Maybe sixty years old, Caucasian. Looks like he smiles a lot, and I can practically feel the love he has for his work radiating off of him. The Hemlock-Loving Socrates has never read a work of his, and yet thinks he can match wits with the man.

Q: And your occupation?

A: Professor of mythology, Harvard.

Q: May I call you Dr. Morgan-Russel?

A: Certainly.

Q: How long have you been lecturing at Harvard, doctor?

A: Twenty years this August.

Q: In that time, have the works of scholars such as Ulrich von Eichmann— proponents of the 'ancient aliens' theory— attracted students to your lectures?

A: Quite a lot. All misguided, of course.

Q: Would you say that the impact this theory has made on your field of study and its perception is tangible?

A: Certainly. Back in 1980, nobody could tell you who Ra or Set were. Ever since Stargate, they've been household names.

Q: Do you know what the noosphere is?

A: Yes. Somehow.

Q: You shouldn't worry about that. How would you describe the effect this theory has had on the noosphere surrounding mythology?

A: Honestly? Quite positive.

Q: Elaborate, please.

A: Well, these entities that we call gods, people think they're powered by belief, but that's not quite true. Not many people believe in them, outside of neo-pagan segments that have popped up. So… I'm not an expert on this by any means, but they may be powered more by awareness than belief.

Q: Awareness? The simple act of knowing of the deities is enough to sustain them? Do they not require belief?

A: There are neo-pagan sects that still believe in them. But I'd say that awareness is enough to keep them alive; not many people who study Egyptology actually believe in it, and honestly, more's the pity, I say.

Q: Could damage have been done to the Egyptian pantheon by belief in this theory, as opposed to belief in the deities themselves?

A: Of course not. They're too resilient for that.

MR. SOCRATES:
Ladies, gentlemen, and various individuals of the jury, you have not seen the full extent of The Egyptian Typh— that is, Mr. Hasani's complaint.¹⁵The wording of it is such that one would assume that Herr von Eichmann had sent thieves to steal the children of his clients, and then feed them to lions.

Mr. Hasani is literally demanding the heart of my client, which— while within the rights of the belief system he originates from— should not be collected prematurely. If Mr. Hasani wishes to have my client's heart so badly, he should wait until Anubis greets him in the Hall of Two Truths, and settle his account then. And for what? Libel, and some vague injury to his client. If it were simply a monetary matter, I would see value in it, but he insists on taking a mortal life in restitution.

I hold love for all gods, and I see their value among their worshipers, and I respect the rituals they keep. And while I do not share my client's beliefs, nor do I know his reasons for believing in them, I will defend his right to state them.

---

IMHOTEP, THE ONE WHO COMES IN PEACE
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI

MR. HASANI
I greet you, Imhotep the Great, son of Ptah, born of Khereduankh.¹⁶. Acclaimed you are, vizier and architect, god and man. I ask the healer that you are to heal the ignorance of man with the balm of knowledge. I bade thee forth, Uncle Mine.

Divinity and humanity are a hard thing to reconcile into the same being. Imhotep appears twofold— once from the chambers where he is waiting for the baliff to bring him out, and once from a wind that smells of hot sand, pomegranate, cumin, garlic, and cannabis¹⁷. They both manifest into a single being— a younger man, his eyes full of wisdom and some degree of boredom.

Q: Honored Imhotep, in what form do you appear before us today?

A: My body is as I was in life, as a human. My divine presence is that of the Thirtieth Dynasty.

Q: And what is your domain?

A: As I appear now? Medicine, but in life, I was an architect. If I may ask the same of you, Seth of the Red Desert?

THE COURT
Mr. Hasani may answer the question.

MR. HASANI
I… am not the ineffectual antagonist from the Late Period. My role is a god of war, the desert, and the defender of Re upon his barque. I am also not giving testimony, your honor, so I do not see the point of this question. In any case…

Q: As an architect in life, what works did you design?

A: A large part of the Saqqra necropolis, near Menefer¹⁸ My greatest work is funerary complex of Djoser-a step pyramid essentially.

Q: The plans for the pyramid you built, how did they come to you?

A: I… don't understand the question.

Q: Did they come through you by divine inspiration, from your Father, or…?

A: No? I honestly just based them off of the Mastaba that had dotted Kemet at the time. They would evolve into the pyramids we know today, but they were still used at the same time Khufu was building Giza.

Q: Were the pyramids always perfect in design?

Imhotep laughs, and the court is suddenly filled with the smell of papyrus, ink and limestone— things that give an architect joy.

A: Amun, no. It took a generation of builders to make one that could have straight angles. Sneferu's Meidum pyramid was never finished, and the Bent Pyramid is literally bent at a strange angle because they mis-measured it and it would have fallen apart otherwise. The Red Pyramid is a work of art in comparison, but the three of them combined use more stone than is in the whole of Khufu's pyramid.

Q: Would you say there is progression here? From the first, flawed attempt at a pyramid all the way to the semi-decent Red Pyramid?

A: Definitely.

MR. HASANI
Associated beings, we have an architect and a deity here with us, who has just told us that progression— nay, evolution occurred in the building of these titanic structures in Kemet, land of the Pharaohs and the Nile. If these were dropped out of the sky by alien beings, would they contain such imperfections? Bent angles, being on the verge of collapsing, inefficient design? Or is it glorious human error that does such things?

MR. HASANI
No further questions, Honored Themis.

CROSS-EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES

Q: Thank you very much for your previous answer—I can think of nothing else to question you on the building of the pyramids, marvels made of stone. I would also like to note that my advocacy for the defendant does not reflect any desire from my part to allege the factual accuracy of his claims, or to deny you and your fellows the credit you have rightfully earned.

A: Noted.

Q: But where are my manners? Hail, Imhotep the Great, kind-hearted god! Greatest of Seers, builder, and sculptor! Maker of stone vases, scribe, and healer!¹⁹ My fellow Greeks at times call you Asclepius;²⁰ by whichever name you prefer, I call to you now.

A: “Imhotep” is fine, O son of Sophroniskos.

Q: So, in Starborn 'Gods' volume 4, page 154, the defendant cited a hymn to you inscribed on the exterior walls of the great temple of Hathor at Dendera, which describes you as the one who reveals the movement of the stars. The defendant then argued that this was proof that you, the architect who built the first pyramid, were an extraterrestrial being who owed his knowledge to having had to navigate through celestial space and objects to arrive on Earth. Would you say that this argument is valid?

A: No, I would not. The defendant cited this information from an academic work, Dietrich Wildung’s Egyptian Saints: Deification in Pharaonic Egypt (1977, page 55)—

This humble recorder wonders if Lord Imhotep cares about how annoying it is to insert parentheses and numbers using a steno machine.

A: —a fact he did note in his text, lending to his argument an apparent air of credibility. Yet he did not present the full context of this evidence, even though it is present in his source. For one thing, this hymn is from a comparatively very late period, dating as it does to the reign of the Roman Emperor Claudius, in what is now referred to as the first century CE, whilst I am from the twenty-seventh century BCE. It doesn’t help that laymen think of Kemet as a single civilization, and not something which evolved—they readily accept the idea that the Protodynastic Re and the Re of the Middle Kingdom are the same being. You can thank Hollywood for dumbing down my culture; if you ever said the word Hyksos to your average reader of Starborn ‘Gods’, they’d probably say “gesundheit.”

There are a few polite laughs from the audience and jury. My father, who was worshipped by the Hyksos, gives Imhotep a stern frown.

A: Tangent aside… just like the other inscription mentioning my expertise in astronomy cited by Wildung—the one from the temple of Isis at Philae²¹—this hymn lists my knowledge of the stars as only one of various things I am praised for, and not my primary patronage to the Egyptian people like the defendant intimated. As the rest of the chapter about me in Wildung’s book²² clearly explains, in the thousands of years leading up to the Roman era I was mainly remembered, with various degrees of emphasis on each persona depending on the period and context, as an administrator, an architect, a patron of scribes and written wisdom, and a healer—not as an astronomer.

Q: So, you are saying that the biographical reconstruction of you as an expert in astronomy is wrong?

A: Well, I was the high priest of the solar cult at Heliopolis, so the sky was not wholly outside of my concerns. But to some fair extent my concerns were solar in focus; certainly, they were not astronautical like the defendant alleged.

Q: To build off on that line of thought—are you the son of a god, or son of a mortal man? If that is not too personal a question.

A: It is… difficult to explain. When you look at me now, what do you see?

Q: I… I must confess it is difficult for me to look at you. You seem… indistinct, in a manner that is extremely disorientating. It’s difficult to look upon you for more than a moment; I have to turn my head, and quickly look away.

A: My apologies. We have been talking back and forth in rapid succession about both my original lifetime and my later existence as a god. They tend to bleed together in times like these. Look upon me now—what do you see?

Q: You look… clearer now, milder to the eyes. Now it is easier for me to look at you than at the rest of this chamber—with due respect to all the other beings present.

A: It is to be expected. To an extent, people worship me because I can act as an intermediary between the human and the Divine—thus I was often venerated at the door of the temple, at the threshold between the two realms.²³ So the answer is that I am both, and it is not irrelevant that I am both.

A: That I am here, as a god, attests to my godhood; but I sit here with memories of both being a mortal child with mortal parents, and being the son of divinity. I remember the pride on my father's face when I became a scribe, and my sadness when he died; I remember being presented as a child to my divine father Ptah and my divine stepmother Sekhmet.²⁴ So to your question I say: I am both, and that is who I am.

Q: But to say that you, Imhotep, the architect of the first pyramid, administrator of the great palace, chancellor of King Djoser, was born the son of a god—would that be historically accurate, to use the modern terminology? With no disrespect meant for the theological meaning of your myths, of course.

A: Oh no, it would not. I, Imhotep the architect, was not a son of Ptah. I, Imhotep the god, am.

Q: And you were not considered a son of a god during your original lifetime?

A: No. I was not of the royal family, but my king Djoser honored me by having my name inscribed, near to his, on the base of his statue. Had I had a claim to divine favor under my name to rival his, my king would not have been so trusting toward me.²⁵

Q: Alright… Truth be told, the way of the gods confounds me—mortal man that I am, with only the limited wisdom of humans. Let us discuss something I can more easily comprehend. You mentioned “Hollywood” earlier; how many of their films have an “Imhotep” as the antagonist?

A: I can see what you are driving at. There are the original Universal Mummy film with Boris Karloff from 1932, the 1999 remake, and the 2001 sequel to said remake.

Q: I am merely curious as to why the cast and crew of these films are not here today, facing the same lawsuit as the defendant—together with every other poor fool who has been mistaken about history throughout the ages. What is it that singles the defendant out?

A: To address all the questions you have: yes, there are many people now alive who, when they hear Imhotep, think first and foremost about the Brendan Fraser films. Yes, we can have a long and fruitful discussion about what these films do get right and what they do not, and what stereotypes and tropes they employ and perpetuate, and their merits and failings as works of art. But fundamentally, the Brendan Fraser films do not actively teach their viewers to ignore any and all evidence that they are inaccurate. They do not induct their viewers into the art of forcing your way through to whatever conclusion you want, and disguising the fallacies you need to make to get there—through dazzling, broad-stroke statements that disregard all nuances in the evidence you invoke. They do not promise people that they alone can reveal the truth of the world and that anyone disagreeing with them can be ignored—as a close-minded zealot too wedded to established academic dogmas to see any new ideas at best, and an outright member of a conspiracy to suppress the truth at worst. So no, I don’t see anything hypocritical or unjust about seeing the defendant sitting here without Brendan Fraser, or Boris Karloff, or any of the others who you claim should be present, O wise Socrates.

Q: That is… a fair answer. Clearly, there are different categories of historical inaccuracy. I can accept that.

THE COURT
Do you have any further questions, Mr. Socrates?

MR. SOCRATES
Not to the great Imhotep, Your Honor…

THE COURT
So, unless you have any further point to make, we can move—

MR. SOCRATES
… I would like to point out to the jury that—apologies for the interruption, Your Honor—that the plaintiff's side of things had not addressed that question of the substantial quality of the defendant's historical inaccuracy. We have all heard the great Imhotep testifying that there are different ways to be factually inaccurate about the past, some of which are more objectionable than others; some might even be part of proper respect to the gods. A hymn can be beautiful even when it is the invention of the divine spirit of poetic inspiration, and not the result of learned, rational inquiries. Yet so far everything they had asked the great Imhotep, everything they had filed, has been about establishing the defendant's theories on how the pyramids and other monuments were built are factually wrong.

And yes, the defendant's theories are wrong; we can all see that. But my counterpart has not actually made a case that they are actively anti-science—precisely what the great Imhotep just attested to be one of the key parameters to determining whether a historical fiction is to be condemned or not. And even if the plaintiff's side had established that, they still have not talked about other things like whether the defendant's anti-science stance was born out of active malice or just ignorance and the like—which surely is important for the question of whether the punishment fits the crime. For the punishment proposed against the defendant is very, very harsh.

MR. HASANI
Objection!

THE COURT
On what grounds, Mr. Hasani?

MR. HASANI
He's just trying to pass the ball back to our court! He’s avoiding coming up with an answer on the issue, and asking me to do it instead—this is just a delaying tactic, to make things difficult for me and my team!

THE COURT
So, let me get this straight… you are objecting because you are too incompetent to mount a fool-proof case that can address the opposing counsel’s counterpoints, and thus it is unfair to ask you to do so?

MR. HASANI
Yea… um… no?

THE COURT
Objection overruled.

At this point, we had to take a recess due to a sudden sandstorm in the courtroom. As I type this, my steno machine crunches with the sound of sand beneath his keys— my father nearly lost his temper. There's still a thundercloud over the courtroom.

---

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI

Q: I call upon she of Akkadia and Babylon. Queen of Heaven, Star of Lamentation, Lady of Battles, most awesome of the goddesses, clothed in pleasure and love, she who blessed Those Whose Faces Are Brilliant. Known to me as Astarte of the Battle, of the City, of the Mountain, though I am bereft of your presence as my wife in this matter, and known to Socrates of Athens as Aphrodite. I call upon you in the form of Seth, beseech you to show yourself to this court so that you may give testimony, in the name of all gods.

Inanna comes upon the stand to the sound of a raging battle, with lions roaring alongside them. Her appearance is, predictably, dramatic— starting as an eight-pointed light, she produces wings of multitudinous colors, which fold in on herself. They open, revealing a woman that is taller than Seth and Socrates combined, with a dozen weapons between her wings, a horned crown upon her head, and garbed in white silk stained with red— though if the stains are blood spilled in battle, or wine spilled in the throes of passion, I cannot say.

(Annotation by Dr. Athenodora Cat: Jr. Res. Gardener's body camera footage was largely unusable during this transformation. The being that appeared in the witness stand afterwards has a distressingly strong resemblance to SCP-4960.)

A: I see you and I hear you, Suketh of the Ennead. And I regret that I cannot be here as Astarte.

Q: I have called you to act as a witness in this matter, in the aspect you would have been known to those in Babylon.

A: Ask your questions.

Q: Inanna, what is your connection to this case, in your current aspect?

A: I am not involved in the plaintiff's suit.

Q: But you are a deity, yes? One who has been affected by the defendant's work to some degree?

MR. SOCRATES
Objection, compounded question, and leading question.

THE COURT
Sustained. Mr. Hasani, one question at a time.

MR. HASANI
Q: Apologies. Have you ever been accused of being an extraterrestrial?

A: I am Venus.

Q: Beg pardon, but you are appearing in your aspect as Inanna, are you not?

A: I am the star you call Venus, as well as Inanna. I am not of this Earth in any sense, except when I walk upon it.

Seeing my father grow some flop-sweat is oddly satisfying.

Q: Do— do you feel you are misrepresented by works such as Starborn Gods?

A: To a degree, yes.

Q: Could you elaborate, please?

A: Of my descent to Kur, he… what's the term you use? Cherry-picks. He cherry-picks pieces about my descent to retrieve Tammuz, saying that the protective garments I wear— my crown, my jewelry, my girdle, among others— were simply a 'space suit', and that Kur was the darkness of space itself. Which, by that logic, means the later part of the narrative, where I passed through the gates of the underworld and had to give up a piece of my garment, until I arrived naked and vulnerable in front of my sister Ereshkigal, must surely be a depiction of how my spacesuit became ruptured and I thus died from decompression.

A (continued): There is a subsequent part in the narrative where I am resurrected from the underworld and regain my garment as I went back through each of the gates. You would think this would refer to my decompressed corpse re-assembling itself and putting the suit back on… but but that doesn't match expectations of how spacesuits work. So those pieces have to be metaphorical. But the bit about me putting on fancy clothes, those have to be absolutely literal and referring to literal artifacts that the poet saw with his eyes.

A (continued): And of what he says of Asushunamir and their kind²⁶… it makes me want to—

I cannot hear what she says. The sound of battle overwhelms the courtroom, and her eyes shine with the fire of the Morning Star.

A: …apologies. I did not realize that would happen. I will control my anger.

Q: But are you an alien being in the sense that Starborn Gods alleges?

A: No.

Q: And the others among your group?

A: The Annunnaki, in my sister's realm. Their name comes up more often in ancient alien literature than most, and… well, I'm not sure if you were in the zeitgeist in 2012, but one of the prevailing theories for how the world would end at the time was the collision of Earth with a rogue planet called "Nbiru." That's where the Annunnaki are supposed to come from, according to his kind, and that they are responsible for building all the great works of the ancient world.

Q: I see. Other than them, who is the most affected?

A: Dagon, definitely. Poor Dagon.

Q: Elaborate.

A: Well, Howard P—

The entire courtroom is blinded and deafened as she tries to speak the name. I've heard of nuclear weapons used by humans, and this feels like one has been dropped in the court. The human in the jury was protected by an Aegis, but his ears are still ringing. Note to self: ask for further reparations for personal injury.

The smoke clears, and we can see again— thankfully, I know how to touch-type. Inanna looks drained, her crown somewhat ablaze.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
Excuse me.

MR. HASANI
Q: Are you alright?

A: So much hate behind that name and those works. It… infuriates me in an incandescent manner. I need to write it down, please?

And here, I, the great and powerful Djhuety, handed her a reed pen and quill. She wrote down the name that is next spoken by my ungrateful father, who does not even think to offer me libations on my festival day.

Q: The author in question is H.P. Lovecraft?

A: Yes. He, and others, such as E. Rob—

She goes on to name further names that are drowned out by cosmic rumblings, though these are thankfully far less violent. I catch the names of a few presidents and at least one king. Socrates hides under his desk, but the rest of us are stoic.

MR. SOCRATES
Your honor, I request that the witness name no further mortals which have caused her injury, for the safety of all in the courtroom.

THE COURT
Granted. Honored Inanna, please refrain from enacting your fury upon the court.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
Apologies.

A: That man, and others, portrayed Dagon, a grain and fertility deity, as being an alien, fish-like being.

Q: Has this affected you adversely, in any manner?

A: Not in the ontological sense, but… people don't know how to call out to him anymore. All of their calls are being directed to Dagon the Fish, and not Dagon the Farmer. Even then, little records of either remain.

Q: Do you have any idea why your Babylonian aspect is portrayed as alien, but not, for instance, your Hellenic one?

A: Part of it is a bad interpretation of science. Our Ziggurats are decorated with images of the heavens above— and of myself, Shamash, and others. Naturally, they think that we couldn't possibly have looked up at the stars and made them ourselves, so it has to be aliens.

Q: Are there any other examples of this bad science?

A: Several. The Art of the Nazca is said to be landing strips for alien craft, and not dedications to their long-since forgotten deities, may their monuments stand. Why would aliens need landing strips, if they're so advanced?

Q: And—

A: I'm not done. Gold, a substance which humanity has arbitrarily given value, is said to be the main reason that we 'invaded' the planet— to mine it. It has little practical use, and we come from light-years away to a little rock that can barely support life to mine it? And even then, we have to uplift humanity just to extract that stupid yellow rock? Surely a space-faring civilization has figured out mining.

Q: I see, but—

A: And it is very convenient that the technological horizons of the day these theories were formulated just so happen to match up with the technology we were capable of. Fifty years ago, we were compared to astronauts in space capsules. Today, we apparently have warp drive capabilities or 'star gates'. It's…

Q: Honored Inanna. Are you… sharpening a dagger?

Inanna looks down and finds a whetstone and dagger in her hand.

A: It appears that I am.

Q: Why are you doing that?

A: It is… a metaphor. I just named over a dozen individuals who enrage me, most of whom are still alive and in positions where I cannot easily visit my rage upon them without smiting entire cities. I have also spent the last several minutes talking about the poor quality of the science used by these… 'theorists', and this represents how badly I want to visit my vengeance upon them? Take him, for instance, that insipid son of a—

THE COURT
Please refrain from gesturing at the defendant with a blade for the duration of the court case, Mistress of All Lands.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
I apologize, your honor.

Q: Getting back on track… we've established why they believe it from a factual standpoint, but what about by an ideological one? What would motivate otherwise intelligent— or at least sane —individuals to believe in such a theory?

A: It is because they lack confidence. They see themselves as insignificant in the face of monuments eons old, built by beings so much lesser than them, far more superstitious and technologically inferior. They can't rationalize the fact that they could have gardens and ziggurats and pyramids and sphinxes. They see these things, and they can't comprehend the fact that they cannot do the same thing with their cranes and computers, so they try to rationalize it away, and… that does even more harm, in a sense.

Q: Can you elaborate?

A: The idea that gods change themselves based on the belief of the masses has been popularized in the modern age, but as I'm sure most of the court can attest: it is bunk. Our perception is changed, but our core essence remains— unless we are forgotten. Campaigns are being carried out in the Near East to destroy the heritage of Babylon, Akkad, Sumer, and even Roman elements in and around Mesopotamia and Levant— The Temple of Bal at Palmyra, The Winged Bull of Nineveh, the Palace of Ashurnasirpal II… all gone, forever.

Q: Do you blame the defendant for those?

A: Of course not. But his efforts are another example of modern humanity trying to erase a past that doesn't fit their present. The defendant's audience are people who could rest comfortably with the knowledge that they know who they are. Every year they have celebrations of their national mythology, with fireworks and feasts and pride. Yet when they look at my home… Mesopotamia being the 'Cradle of Civilization' is easily discounted if it's nothing more remarkable than some primitive barbarians, who happened to be there when aliens landed. Outside of that, nobody bothers to learn of the Islamic Golden Age.

Forget or destroy enough of this history, and suddenly it's so much easier to think of this place and its peoples as insignificant, inconsequential - and if something is inconsequential, who would care if it dies by bomb or by drones or by hunger in a refugee camp?

Q: To boil it down to a single point…

A: Those who believe these theories are… well, sad and jealous of the fact that they haven't been able to accomplish something that grand. So, they steal it in imperialistic rage, and if the culture that built it still exists… well, just take one look at America, and you'll see how that went.

Q: Do you believe that there's a racial prejudice to it, as well?

A: Does my brother Shamash rise in the east? Of course there is. There's a reason you don't typically see Greeks and Romans worshiping aliens— they're European.

MR. HASANI
You ask why we should punish the defendant? I realize that several of us come from prejudiced pantheons, but the actions carried out in our names and the actions we condone are not one and the same. Kemet committed atrocities against the Hebrews and the Caananites, and we all know of what Rome did to early Christians. Times have changed, and I would like to think the world as a whole is more tolerant. But von Eichmann and others are supporting a theory which says that civilizations with lighter skin developed their own culture, while the likes of Egypt, Akkad, and the Hopi had to be given theirs. That is why.

No further questions, your honor.

MR. SOCRATES:
Honored Inanna, I regret to inform you that I have… little comfort in questioning you in this aspect. For this reason, I call upon your counterpart from Hellas, of the Ouranoes. I deeply apologize for my impudence here.

INANNA, QUEEN OF HEAVEN
I shall allow it, for I know that you find more familiarity with my Cytherean counterpart. Begin your invocation, if you would please.

APHRODITE²⁷
CROSS EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES

Q: Cythereia, violet-crowned goddess, you who make the world grow, you who make our hearts beat, mistress of Cyprus, golden Aphrodite—by whatever name that pleases you, I call to you now.

In times before, I have always tried to serve the gods as well as I could. In times before, I have never prayed for anything other than ‘the good things,’ trusting you to know best what is good. Yet the responsibility placed on me by this court now compels me to ask different questions. So, if ever in word or in deed I have pleased you, be gracious now, o Queen, and answer me as clearly as is fitting.

A flock of doves fly in from Socrates-Who-Hates Scribes’s right-hand side, circling around his head a few times, before rising upwards and disappearing into the courtroom’s ceiling.

On the witness stand is now laughter-loving Aphrodite, who nods her head.

Q: … Very well. I know the last points were raised by the Aphrodite of Babylon, but you are who I am most familiar with, and so I call to you now—if it is alright with you?

A: It is of no inconvenience to me. Speak your questions, son of Sophroniskos.

Q: You were, on account of your son Aineias, called upon as "Mother" by the Roman people, and as "Conqueress" as well—did that not happen?

A: Yes, it did.

Q: When Alexander the son of Philip reached the end of his conquest at the River Hyphasis, he was said to have built altars to the Twelve Gods the size of great towers, to mark his achievement and to honor the gods who had led him this far—did that not happen?

A: Yes, it did.

Q: I was there, when the city used to send out our fleets from the harbor of Piraeus, to bring the islands into the rule of the Athenians, to collect tributes, to quell revolts. I remember how the ships sailed past your temple on the promontory. I remember everyone, both the sailors and those on the shore, pouring libations and praying to you and to the other blessed gods—did these things not happen?

A: I know where you're going with this. The answer is yes.

Q: Could any of these people be said to have engaged in imperialism?

A: "It would have been small consolation to the Melians, as the Athenian soldiers and sailors fell upon them, to be informed that they were about to become the victims of a hegemonial, not an imperial, measure." Yes, it is a legitimate way of viewing it.

Q: You now object to the imperialism in this man’s work, yet you yourself have been worshipped by so many conquerors and empire-builders—is that not a contradiction?

A: Socrates, you ask a question you already know the answer for. People say and do many things in the name of the gods; if we listen to them all soon we’ll be down the road of allowing gods to take all the blame for the bad things humans do.

Q: But if we adopt this framework, of recognizing a distinction between the people who actually do the deeds and their alleged inspiration, then we must be precise about what the defendant is to be judged for today. Just now we have been going through the wrongdoings of this man Lovecraft, and of the ‘ancient astronauts’ school in general, and of the education system of the defendant’s native land… but to what extent is any of these the responsibility of the defendant in particular? If he is part of a trend, then why are we suing him, specifically, and not any of the other people in this trend?

A: Why are you asking me, Socrates? That question should be directed to the plaintiff, not me.

They both turn toward the plaintiff’s table. At that moment my father is amusing himself with some bubble gum, apparently too bored to pay any attention to what is going on. Feeling their eyes upon him, he turns around, a little too quickly, and the gum bubble bursts all over his face.

The courtroom is filled with guffawing.

Q: I have given up trying to get a straight answer from the Egyptian Typhon—it’s all hieroglyphic to me.

A: I would counsel you to be careful with questioning him: he too is a divine power, in his own way, and deserves proper respect no less than anyone else of us.

Q: I will keep that in mind.

THE COURT
Do you have any further questions, Mr. Socrates?

MR. SOCRATES
No, Your Honor. I would just like to direct the jury’s attention to the last point of inquiry I raised: what is it that these witnesses are supposed to be testifying about? What is it that you are supposed to be rendering judgement on? If it is the flaws of a whole movement, then let the movement be sued. But if it is the actions of this one man, then let us consider only the man. And, certainly, let us not give him a punishment more in scale for the crimes of many men.

---

MR. HASANI
Ladies, gentlemen, assorted beings. We have heard this theory being debated called 'hateful' and 'racist' on at least two different occasions, with the perception of several spirits being so twisted that they themselves cannot say whether or not they were extraterrestrial.

MR. SOCRATES
Objection. Opposing counsel seems to have forgotten, yet again, that this is a libel suit pertaining to a particular volume, not the theory as a whole.

THE COURT
I'd like to hear where this is going. Overruled. Mr. Hasani, proceed.

MR. HASANI
Herr von Eichmann and his ilk tout the idea that the peoples of my civilization, and several others, were too simple to build their own works without outside aid. While beings such as myself gave inspiration in the form of dreams or prophecies or signs, as well as the occasional divine aid, all of the thinking, inventing, and building that went into a single block of a pyramid was all down to humanity.

He makes a grand gesture to the audience. Seems he was watching some of the legal dramas, finally.

For all of its flaws, humankind has always been amazing at working with its hands, and with its brain. Herr von Eichmann wishes to rob entire civilizations of that agency, and install space ships in its place. He would have you believe that the burning bush Moses encountered was lit by the exhaust of a warp drive, or that Ishtar garbed herself in a spacesuit before descending into the underworld.

To expound upon this matter, I call my next witness to the stand.

BRAGI, AESIR OF POETRY
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI

Q: Ash Yggdrasil's trunk, of trees is foremost, and Skídbladnir of ships, Odin of Aesir, of all steeds Slepnir, Bifröst of bridges, and of hounds Garmr; Hábrók of hawks, and Bragi of skalds.²⁸ Boddasson, husband of Iðunn, first maker of poetry, long-bearded, I summon thee forth to the stand.

Bragi arrives with a strong scent of fermented honey on his heels. A humble being, long-bearded and clad in fur, he could be mistaken for human, size and all— one of the advantages the Aesir have always had is their ability to blend in. With the scent (possibly this 'mead of poetry' I've heard so much about?) every human within twenty miles suddenly gets an urge to write a novel— maybe one or two will manage it. Other than the scent, little else accompanies his arrival— he simply walks to the stand.

A: All right, I'm here. No need to go mangling my poetry to get my attention like that.

Q: Apologies. Onto the questioning… Are you involved with this lawsuit in any way?

A: No. Uninvolved third party, was invited to testify by you.

Q: Honored Bragi, your rule over poetry includes inspiration, yes?

A: Aye. I've inspired many a great work, though it never catches the eyes of any of those Greek girls.

Q: And would you say that you've inspired the retellings of several myths of the Aesir, Jotun, Svartálfar, et cetera?

A: Indeed! There's always poetic license and some metaphor that gets garbled— Hel isn't literally half-alive and half-dead, split down the middle.

Q: Since your domain includes poetry, does that include the writing, recording, etc. of all myths?

A: Most of them. There are a few that, sadly, are lost to us all.

I will always respect a god who bows his head in mourning when they discuss those who have been consigned to Oblivion. Bragi already had my respect, now he earns more.

Q: And how have your myths been mis-interpreted in the past?

A: That is… a twisted knot of a question. Imagery from the Norse peoples was co-opted by the Nazis to further their crusade. It didn't help that Norway and Sweden were both occupied, and Finland was with Germany so long as it meant pushing back the Soviets.

Q: Can you think of any other examples, if it does not do you harm?

A: They saw themselves as the new Norse, essentially. Called themselves an endangered Nordic race. Tried to distance themselves from anything Semitic, and that included the Christian God. So, they looked for a European pantheon to leech off of, and found us. It was disgusting.

Q: Did they literally worship you and the other Aesir? Offer libations and such?

A: Nay. There was this one fool, name of Karl Maria Wiligut. One of the occultists. He claimed he was a descendant of Thor, and used that claim to further the occult studies of the Nazis. He said that a Germanic god named "Krist" had been appropriated by the Christians as… well, their Christ. It's absurd.

Q: So, in other words, not a flattering interpretation.

A: Fuckin' hell no.

Themis ordered me not to strike that from the record. I think that Bragi, being a fellow deity involved writing, would un-strike it anyway.

A: They just chose the bits they liked best, and twisted them until the 'evidence' fit their facts. Their eyes are turned inwards towards their own navels, and they fail to see the color of the sky for their own shit. Why, I oughta—

Bragi had to be retrained by Themis in her aspect as a bailiff in order to be prevented from breaking out into a skald song.

A: I do apologize. But I hate them Nazi fucks.

Q: Regarding that prejudice coloring interpretations of writing. At one point in his book, the defendant uses the description of a chariot with solid gold wheels being pulled by sparrows²⁹ as evidence to indicate the existence of spaceships, with the wheels and sparrows being mistaken for turbines and… one moment.

My father's notes are better-organized today. Slightly.

Q: And an organic computer, respectively.

A: Next you'll be trying to sell me Sleipnir. It's poetry, meant to convey the idea that humans cannot possibly reach divinity. Chariots were one of the most advanced pieces of transportation technology in the day, and the golden wheels are meant to convey the miraculous nature. If Aphrodite cared to go out today, she would probably have a diamond-studded Lamborghini with a leopard as a chauffeur.

Q: He uses this also as evidence of the ignorance of some early Greek peoples, before the invention of the wheel, as gold is unable to be shaped into such a form without bending into uselessness.

A: If you want to play a jester, Set, you need to learn how to have your humor translate.

Q: I don't follow.

A: That can't be in the book. It can't be, nobody's that conceited. You have to be joking.

Q: Read here.

Seth has a document in his hand that kills any joy and mirth Bragi has in his eyes. His jaw hangs open for several seconds before he realizes he has made a massive mistake.

A: Odin's balls.

Q: Can you answer the question?

A: If Greeks were that ignorant, how would they even know what a chariot was to begin with?

MR. HASANI
Note that the defendant specifically makes these accusations at the expense of the 'Early' Greeks— bronze-age, before the Parthenon. The time of myth in which conflicts such as the Trojan War are said to take place. The past is a different country, they say, and to the defendant, it is culturally barren.

The defendant supposes that humanity, in those days, could not have developed their own technology, their own culture, without the aid of a higher being. But the very myths used to describe the higher beings such as myself work at a rate of fifty metaphors per sentence. I do not literally cause every rainstorm over Kemet, I was just a convenient excuse. The defendant has taken these metaphors and chosen to interpret them as metaphorical or literal at their leisure. Chariots and bamboo are called spaceships. To quote a famed mortal actor, said to be a scion of Melpomene: "What does god need with a starship?"

---

HEPHAISTOS KLYTOTEKHNES
DIRECT EXAMINATION
BY MR. SOCRATES

Q: Great Artificer, Maker of Miracles, Craftsman, Grand Sculptor, Keeper of the Forge at Etna. Known to Opposing Counsel as the creator Ptah, maker of Clockworks, the most Steadfast of the Gods. I bid thee forth now, Hephaistos Klytotekhnes, to come and give witness and testimony in a matter where a mortal life hangs in the balance.

Hephaistos Klytotekhnes does not bother for him to even begin the second sentence before he starts to, quite literally, roll in. Gears, shafts, cranks, springs, wheels, tubes, and all manner of technological devices both ancient and modern roll in from the waiting chambers, coming together with clicking and ratcheting sounds so loud that I strain to hear Should've-Written-Something-Down-Socrates over the din.

Hephaistos assumes the form of an automaton, and I cannot help but wonder if this is a proxy he is simply speaking through— a mouthpiece. Every time I encounter them, he looks broken in a different way.

A: While I appreciate the formality, son of Sophroniskos, there is no need for it. I am a god of technology, and in this modern age, I am ready to be called at a moment's notice. Call me Hephaistos, Vulcan, the Smith, the Artificer, call me Bob for all I care.

Though it pains me, the format does not allow for me to address you as 'Bob' or 'Robert'.

Q: Er, well then. Honored Hephaistos, Mr. Hasani brought up a point following a previous testimony: 'what does god need with a starship?' Tell me, do you have any need for spacecraft?

A: We have never had the need for a starship, nor do I think we will ever have a need.

Q: Space exploration does not interest you?

A: In an academic sense. Apollo was literally over the moon when it was first landed upon. And naturally, several members of my family have a planet, planetoid or moon named after them.

Q: You do not have a celestial body named after yourself?

A: A minor planetoid. As for my Roman aspect, it was once thought that, between Mercury and the Sun, another planet existed. They called that Vulcan, for a time. Discredited, unfortunately.

Q: But what of the vast ocean of space itself?

A: We don't really have a need to go there. Most of our worshipers are on Earth, and we exist in a somewhat abstract celestial realm. We are the stars in the sky, and the planets. Anything beyond that is hard to imagine.

Q: Honored Hephaistos, you are a god of artifice. Are you saying that you are incapable of creating a starship?

A lightning strike interrupted the testimony, impacting on the desk Socrates was using. My father's hackles were raised. If the Greek bothered to use written notes, they would have been in flames. Hephaistos is curiously unfazed.

A: Of course I could. I've forged and repaired far more difficult things. Give me some lead, a kiss from my wife, a book of matches, and I'll give you a warp drive before you take dinner.

Q: Have you ever built a starship, then?

A: In a sense. I created the chariot Helios uses to pull the sun.

Q: And is this a literal chariot, pray tell?

A: It can take on whatever form pleases him. He prefers a chariot, but has experimented with other forms. For a time, when Apollo took up the duty, it became…

I do not know the exact mechanics of Apollo's relation to Hephaistos, but the disappointment in his sigh was something that I've only heard used by parents when their children forge their signature to get tattoos.

A: A tour bus. God of music, yet he has no respect for the classics.

Q: Could this chariot theoretically become a 'diamond-studded Lamborghini'?

MR. HASANI
Your honor, objection. That's plagiarism! He's re-using my argument!

THE COURT
Mr. Hasani, if I had an obol for every incorrect objection you've made since this trial started, I could afford to send all of Athens across the Acheron. Overruled. Shut up.

The storm brewing in the court died down with only a faint growl of complaint from my father. Part of the audience had pulled out umbrellas, and I see the lone mortal in the jury cowering. I have to give this to you, father: You tried. You failed miserably, but you tried.

BY MR. SOCRATES
Q: Answer the question, please.

A: That would be something my wife would have more interest in than myself. But it could.

Q: So, what's to stop Helios from turning his chariot into a starship?

A: Honestly, the simple fact that nobody has ever really thought of it in that sense— until now, I suppose. There was this one author who imagined it as a train and a sports car, both only capable of travelling east to west, but that's largely it.

Q: So, gods do not need a starship, but they could make one.

A: Indeed.

Q: Why haven't you?

A: I talk to Voyager 1 occasionally. There's no real need to go any farther than humanity has already.

Q: …beg pardon, Honored Artificer, but did you say you talk to Voyager 1?

A: I mean, you did make it an attempt to encapsulate the essence of Humanity, as a collective part of the species that could reach out into the unknown Final Frontier, yes? It's Human enough for my purpose. Not that you made it easy for me to look after it— it didn't include any data on us, aside from someone speaking Ancient Greek.

MR. SOCRATES
Associated beings of the jury, need I say anything else? Even if the item that is described in the opposing counsel's letter of complaint is a forgery, we have just had a god of artifice admit that he could make a starship, and that the things he has already made could qualify as such, depending on perception.

This lawsuit was made solely for the purpose of brute revenge, not Justice. Honored Themis, I have no further questions.

CROSS EXAMINATION
BY MR. HASANI
No questions, your honor.

THE COURT
Are you sure?

MR. HASANI
Yes.

(Annotation by Jr. Res. Gardener: At first, I thought that he was going to start crying— he being 3807. All that work, for nothing, destroyed by a single testimony. He was slumped in his chair, head bowed. But I was just at the right angle in the jury that I could see the head behind the hands on his face— the smirk he was wearing was terrifying, and victorious.)

---

THE COURT
I believe it is about time for closing arguments. Mr. Hasani, you will go first.

MR. HASANI
Associated entities of the jury, I…

My father fumbles for words.

Our faiths are largely dead in the modern age. While sects and worshipers pop up, they are few and far between. I genuinely believe that the damage done by this man and his ilk to our kind is tangible. Look upon Dagon. Look upon the ideas that the pyramids or the Hopi's structures are immaculate. Look upon the damage done to the Kasina, to the point where even they are unsure of their status.

The 12th President of the United States, Andrew Jackson, said this of the things constructed by the natives of his country in 1830: “In the monuments and fortifications of an unknown people, we behold the memorials of a once-powerful race, exterminated to make room for the existing savage tribes.” This 'ancient race', according to him and those of his time, would have been Caucasians, but there is no doubt in my mind that were he alive today, he would attribute them to extraterrestrials.

Gods are inherently extraterrestrial in the sense that they are present in a celestial realm. But calling us aliens who bring knowledge to our civilizations is an insult to the humans who serve us, and those who serve them.

The plaintiff rests.

THE COURT:
Thank you. Mr. Socrates?

MR. SOCRATES
I have made it no secret that I hold contempt for this theory. But ignorance does not deserve punishment so extreme as what Mr. Hasani and his clients are requesting— literally tearing out his heart and feeding it to a beast, in addition to removing a major source of income for my client? It is unconscionable.

I would like to paraphrase myself in Philebus. My client holds no malice towards his neighbors— instead, he finds himself in the unfortunate state of ignorance. Some might argue that this is worse, but I do not believe it to be so. He is far from the first to state this theory, and he will be far from the last. Why does my opposite not go after every individual who believes this theory? Why single out my client?

So, please, I ask you to not find in favor of the plaintiff. I do not believe my client to be correct, but I do believe he does not deserve this punishment. Thank you.

The defense rests.

The transcripts included here are incomplete, as they do not include any verdict reached by the jury. Five days after the Foundation received the USB drive containing these transcripts, Ulrich von Eichmann appeared in Geneva. While having no memory of the experience and being unable to account for the time lost, von Eichmann was not harmed and Starborn 'Gods' remains in circulation, so it can be assumed that the jury found in favor of the defense.

von Eichmann's work remains extant, and for sale. He has not issued a retraction of any form at this time; however, this statement was made in an interview with The Fortean Times in in July 2019:

…I'm not entirely sure of the idea that these were literally extraterrestrials, anymore. All gods are, in a sense, celestial in nature. Of earth, of sky, and beyond. Maybe their chariots were just starships in that shape. Maybe the sparrows were poetic license…

Furthermore, I feel… mistaken. My views reflected poorly on the ancient peoples. The Gods may have given them the original inspiration, and some guidance, but saying that they could not have built a stone wall? I feel… guilty for perpetuating that.

Addendum: Theft of the Space Shuttle Enterprise: In January of 2020, several Type-Black entities were detected in the vicinity of the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum in New York City. Among those present were both SCP-3807 and SCP-XXXX-3. Through a complex display of anomalous abilities, they proceeded to board, anomalously alter, and then launch the now-inactive Space Shuttle Enterprise. Modifications made to the shuttle included:

• Removal of all symbols indicating ownership by the US Government on the shuttle and replacing the name with "HELIOS 2"
• Addition of several types of writing to the hull, including Cuneiform, Hieroglyphs, Ancient Greek and Ancient Norse; all of these appeared to have thaumic properties, which may account for the anomalous acceleration and lack of damage to the surrounding area, including it phasing through the building it was contained in.
• Altering the nose into a more conical shape and removing the dorsal tail fin
• Altering the hull in such a way that it refracted light
• Adding an anomalous artificial gravity system around the center section of the hull.

Researchers in the Foundation's Department of Space Exploration note similarities between this altered Space Shuttle and the now-defunct Project Kaguya, which was an attempt to make a spacecraft that could launch and land on airport runways. The Enterprise was replaced by a replica made by the Foundation for testing purposes in the 1980s.

Addendum: Closing notes from Dr. Athenodora Cat: The following is a rough collation of thoughts by Dr. Cat, and has not been edited for inclusion in the final draft of this document.

Dr. Cat is sitting at her computer, looking over several documents associated with SCP-XXXX.

Dr. Cat: All right, day five of looking over these court transcripts. I’ve reached the end.

Dr. Cat takes a sip of coffee. Several empty cups sit around her desk. Monitors on either side of her show pictures of SCP-3807 and various participants of SCP-XXXX.

I’ve… got nothing.

Socrates was completely right, and argued well— the various beings here did not need to do this. SCP-3807 could have called down lighting to smite not only von Eichmann, but the rest of the Ancient Aliens movement. This was overkill, and useless.
NOTE FOR BETA READERS: This section is getting an overhaul and should not be considered final.
Before I go on, I have to explain the concept of theodicy. It… basically, it means that gods have a divine right to law that lets them punish those who deserve it with impunity. In Christian theology, it’s why the question of ‘why do bad things happen in the world if our god is omni-benevolent’ has stuck around for so long. The Christian god is omni-benevolet and just, but a lot of other pantheons don’t care about that type of thing, or else they are very choosy about where to exercise it.

In Greece, theodicy could take many forms, from Zeus sending a gadfly to bite Pegasus as Bellerophon tried to ride to Olympus, or Hades binding Piriphous to a chair using stone snakes— punishments for hubris. The Furies were dedicated to crimes such as matricide and patricide.
End Beta Reader Notice
My problem isn’t that they’re choosing to exercise it, it’s the way they’re choosing to exercise it. Why not exercise it now? Why hold a court case of all things, and why in a Western format? Japanese court cases lack a jury, and they have a 90% plus conviction rate. They could have held a kangaroo court, appointed… I don’t know, Loki as the defense attorney to screw him over, but they got Socrates? Somehow? It’s like they wanted to lose.

The jury’s another thing that bugs me, in that it’s so incongruent— the rest of it is a US-style jury trial, but the jury itself is big enough to be part of ancient Athens. And why bring in a member of the Foundation to be part of it? Poor guy’s in counseling, still. And the USB device, why give us court records? We could have written this down as an extranormal event, or appended 3807’s file, and…

And…

And then a new myth wouldn’t have anywhere to be written down. Son of a bitch.

Dr. Cat drinks the rest of her coffee, throwing the paper cup over her shoulder and starting to pick up notes. In the process, she knocks her webcam behind her desk, causing it to disconnect.

Dr. Cat: Wait, shit—

Connection restarts approximately six minutes later. Dr. Cat is more composed.

Dr. Cat: All right, so.

After the theft of the Enterprise, many of us have entertained, for obvious reasons, the theory that the preceding "trial" has been a distraction, to divert our attention and thus facilitate the theft of said craft. This interpretation runs into a problem, however, since given the anomalous abilities displayed by the subjects, even without the distraction there is nothing we could have done to hinder them.

Another theory is that the theft is a statement of showboating, given in response to the lenient judgement on Ulrich von Eichmann. Yet as a statement of superiority, this seems rather hollow—the subjects are aware of the Foundation and are aware that we would do everything to keep the incident under wrap, and they still made no move to make sure their statement reached a wider audience.

But… what if both of those are wrong? What if this isn’t a court case, it’s a smokescreen. Where’s— ah, here, Hephaistos. He says that gods can create a starship. And Ishtar, she says that she is Venus, so gods are amongst the sky. And— you clever little so-and-so, Set has Imhotep talk about the progression of technology, and Socrates brings up the idea of mortals projecting images onto the gods. And then… crap, where is it?

Dr. Cat begins clicking through their computer,laughing when they reach a specific document.

Here it is. Quoting goddamn Star Trek at us, Hasani? Gods don’t need anything with a spaceship, but you… you want one. You want the concept of 'Gods can go to space' to be divorced from this awful, hateful theory, and maybe get a chance to smite one of its main proponents to boot.

The Foundation hoards knowledge like I hoard degrees. And we keep that knowledge forever— the server I’m uploading this to can survive the collapse of civilization, a reality restructuring, and a 500-kiloton nuclear blast at the same time. I- I- I can’t— we’ve been had.

Dr. Cat laughs.

We’ve been completely and utterly had! I recorded every word and annotated every reference I recognized! It’s all on there!

Dr. Cat points to the screen.

And in here.

Dr. Cat points to her head.

We’ve been had, duped, bamboozled, tricked, had the wool pulled over our eyes— all to record this single freaking case!

Dr. Cat pauses.

I’m… not overthinking this, right?

I mean, if this is some kind of divine secret, I’d… probably be struck down for knowing it, right? Happens all the time. One of the myths of Tantalos says that he was killed for stealing Ambrosia, which is a big divine secret.

Dr. Cat looks behind her.

I need to clear my head. Wash out the coffee with some libations. Maybe get some sleep. Being up for three days straight examining court documents isn’t good for the soul.

Dr. Cat gets up from her seat, leaving the camera running briefly. The image of SCP-3807 on one of the monitors is grinning; it did not bear this expression before. Dr. Cat returns to turn off the camera.

Footnotes

1. Ulrich von Eichmann is best known for his work Starborn 'Gods', which argues that ancient cultures outside of Europe did not have the technological or mental capabilities to build their civilization, instead attributing them to ancient extraterrestrials.

2. Ulrich von Eichmann is best known for his work Starborn 'Gods', which argues that ancient cultures outside of Europe did not have the technological or mental capabilities to build their civilization, instead attributing them to ancient extraterrestrials.

3. Roman equivalent of the Greek Nemesis, goddess of revenge

4. Archaic name for the area that Ancient Egypt occupied

5. Referring to the Acoma Pueblo, a Native American people who has lived in the same area of New Mexico for thousands of years.

6. Aboriginal inhabitants of Easter Island

7. A little-known Peruvian culture responsible for the creation of the Nazca lines

8. Referring to the ancient city of Teotihuacan, known by the Maya as the 'Place of Reeds'.

9. Dr. Cortez states that they were sworn in on what may have been a copy of The Book of the Dead.

10. According to Dr. Cortez the knowledge appeared in his mind after SCP-3807 stopped talking, resulting in a migraine; transmission of this information via a memetic or telepathic vector should have been impossible, given the aforementioned defenses. Foundation researchers have been attempting to discern the source of this knowledge.

11. At this point, Dr. Cortez stated that there was a sudden series of gasps throughout the courtroom.

12. Dr. Cortez and Jr. Researcher Gardener both confirm that SCP-3807 was holding their head in their hands at this point.

13. Professor of Roman Antiquities, Oxford

14. A kasina from the Hopi Pueblo culture.

15. Note from Dr. Athenodora Cat: SCP-XXXX-1 seems to almost call SCP-3807 (I don't like having to refer to either of them as that) 'Typhon' here. Psuedo-Apollodorus in Bibliotheca 1.6.3 says that the Hellenic deities fled from Typhon, into Egypt and took the forms of animals, giving explanation for why the Egyptian gods had animal characteristics. In the process, Set was equated to Typhon by the Greeks, as both are entities dealing with chaos, destruction and storms— see Herodotos, Histories, 3.5 and Plutarch, Isis and Osiris, 351F.

16. Annotation from Dr. Athenodora Cat: Part of the surviving inscription of a seated statue of Imhotep currently in the Brooklyn Museum.

17. Annotation by Dr. Athenodora Cat: All plants known to have been used in Ancient Egypt for their medicinal properties— see Hasan, Nevineabd El-Gawad Ali. “Medicine in Ancient Egypt.” The Egyptian Journal of Internal Medicine 29, no. 1 (2017)

18. An antiquated name for Memphis, Egypt.

19. The subject apparently combined various titles and appellations of Imhotep from different sources and periods. “Imhotep the Great” is a generic way of referring to the deified Imhotep, appearing in many sources; “kind-hearted god” can be found, for example, in the Hymn to Imhotep from the temple of Ptah at Karnak (reproduced in Lichtheim, Ancient Egyptian Literature 3:104–7). “Greatest of Seers” (the ceremonial title of the high priest of the solar cult at Heliopolis), “builder,” “sculptor,” and “maker of stone vases” all appear on the base of a statue of King Djoser, one of the rare contemporary attestations of Imhotep the man—for which see Ray, Reflections of Osiris, 15–16; Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 31–32 (indeed, the transcript appears to closely follow the translation in Ray’s book here). Arguably conspicuous, however, is the absence of the “Son of Ptah” appellation.

20. As noted in Parker, Greek Gods Abroad, 51n73, 68, the use of the Greek theonym Asklepios to refer to Imhotep was not systematic, and did not necessarily indicate a full identification between the Greek figure and the Egyptian one: POxy. XI 1381 (= Maria Totti, Ausgewählte Texte der Isis- und Sarapis-Religion [Hildesheim: G. Olms, 1985], no. 15), for example, can use both names indiscriminately when recounting the god’s healing miracles, as well as referring to Asklepios/Imhotep as the son of Hephaistos/Ptah, rather than observing the well-established Greek notion of Apollon as Asklepios’ father.

At the same time, we have the Graeco-Roman cult at Deir el-Bahari, whose “Asklepios” appears to have had the Egyptian Imhotep underlying him, worshipped as he was together with another traditional deified sage of Egypt, Amenhotep the son of Hapu, as the principal gods of the site—yet this god is always referred to with the Greek theonym and described as the son of Phoibos (i.e., Apollon) in the Deir el-Bahari inscriptions, and furthermore, the Greek Asklepios’ daughter Hygieia is mentioned in some inscriptions from the site, possibly even forming a triad with the other two gods, indicating a close assimilation between Imhotep and Asklepios in this particular case (Łajtar, Deir el-Bahari in the Hellenistic and Roman Periods, 46–49; Parker, Greek Gods Abroad, 68n134—for more on Amenhotep the son of Hapu, see Wildung, Egyptian Saints, chap. 3). This complex picture is not atypical of cross-cultural religious interactions in the ancient world—to borrow the words from Parker, Greek Gods Abroad, 69, “a cheerful disorder prevails, which appears to confuse or embarrass nobody.”

21. Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 72.

22. Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 31–81.

23. Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 43–44, 55–56 (cf. p. 28 for the similar role of the king as mediator between the human and divine worlds).

24. The presentation to Ptah and Sekhmet is one of the stations of Imhotep’s life described in a calendar of feasts recorded in an inscription from the Ptolemaic period, probably corresponding to a story-cycle about his birth that is no longer extant—see Pinch, Handbook of Egyptian Mythology, 148–49; Wildung, Egyptian Saints, 50.

25. At present, the earliest known attestation of Imhotep’s divine father dates to the time of Ramesses II, in the thirteenth century BCE—see Allen, “Monument of Khaemwaset Honoring Imhotep,” 7–8.

26. Annotation by Dr. Athenodora Cat: Chapter 7 of Starborn 'Gods' focuses on the Descent Myth. As is said here, von Eichmann cherry-picks, and in lieu of using non-binary pronouns for the figure of Asushunamir (who is at the same time neither sex and both sexes), he refers to them exclusively using male pronouns. I realize the book was published in the 1970s, but still.

27. Note from Dr. Athenodora Cat: Aphrodite is considered to be a (for lack of a better term) 'descendant' of Inanna/Ishtar. A cult to Astarte, another 'descendant' of Ishtar, arrived in Greece on the island of Cythera/Kythera, and their cult grew into the worship of Aphrodite.

28. Taken from the Prose Edda's Gylfaginning, section XLI, with the dedication to Garmr and Bragi switched.

29. Note from Dr. Athenodora Cat: This is referring to pp.165-6 of Starborn 'Gods.' The 'golden wheels' motif is first attested in the Iliad (5.724, 18.375, etc.); the reference to "sparrows" appears to be based on Sappho fragment 1. As is typical of von Eichmann's writing style, the references to ancient evidence and sources are very vague, and not properly sourced.

30. D-8655 was a D Class with a prosthetic arm

31. It is unknown what exactly happened during a 22 minute period of the containment breach. It is theorized that a Chaos Insurgency agent gained access and tried to transfer SCP-079 before aborting operation when site security approached. After containment was re-established SCP-079's screen read "Answer complete". No further intelligence gathering was attempted in fear of a major containment breach.

32. Amount of deterioration before SCP-XXXX recreates itself is erratic. While attempts to laminate SCP-XXXX to ensure its condition was made, it was discovered that SCP-XXXX considered laminating to make it unreadable and containment breach was observed. Physical damage and/or obscuration during testing has been between 7% and 31% before SCP-XXXX has activated its recreation anomaly.

33. Permission to test theory has been denied by site director.

Reviews:

Popsioak: Positive
UraniumEmpire: Positive
AbsentmindedNihilist: Positive (on an earlier draft, get more a little later)
Wow! You flipped a card and got: !!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 21:57

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div.top-icon, div.right-icon, div.left-icon, div.bottom-icon {
    animation-name: nodegrow;
    animation-duration: calc(0.4s * var(--timeScale));
    animation-delay: calc(1.4s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay));
    animation-iteration-count: 1;
    animation-timing-function: cubic-bezier(.12,.41,.27,.99);
    animation-fill-mode: backwards;
}
div.diamond-part {
    clip-path: polygon( -10% 0.37%, 120% 0.37%, 120% 100%, -10% 100%);
    animation-name: diamondBorder;
    animation-duration: calc(0.8s * var(--timeScale));
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    animation-iteration-count: 1;
    animation-timing-function: cubic-bezier(.32,.38,.39,.94);
    animation-fill-mode: backwards;
    will-change: box-shadow;
}
 
/* MOBILE QUERY */
@media (max-width: 480px ) {
    .anom-bar > .bottom-box::before {
        display:none;
    }
    .anom-bar > .bottom-box {
        box-shadow: 0 -0.5rem 0 0 rgb(var(--black-monochrome, 12, 12, 12))!important;
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    div.top-center-box  > * {
        animation-name: bar-mobile;
        animation-duration: calc(0.9s * var(--timeScale));
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    div.top-center-box > :nth-child(1) { animation-delay: calc(0.1s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay)); }
    div.top-center-box > :nth-child(2) { animation-delay: calc(0.2s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay)); }
    div.top-center-box > :nth-child(3) { animation-delay: calc(0.3s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay)); }
    div.top-center-box > :nth-child(4) { animation-delay: calc(0.4s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay)); }
    div.top-center-box > :nth-child(5) { animation-delay: calc(0.5s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay)); }
    div.top-center-box > :nth-child(6) { animation-delay: calc(0.6s * var(--timeScale) + var(--timeDelay)); }
 
}
/*--- Motion Accessibility ---*/
@media (prefers-reduced-motion) {
    div.anom-bar-container { --timeScale: 0; }
}
 
/*-------------------------*/
 
@keyframes divider {
    from { max-width: 0%;  }
    to { max-width: 100%; }
}
 
@keyframes bar {
    from { max-width: 0%; }
    to { max-width: 100%; }
}
@keyframes bar-mobile {
    from { max-height: 0%; }
    to { max-height: 100%; }
}
 
@keyframes bottomup {
    from { top: 100px; }
    to { top: 0; }
}
 
@keyframes expand1 {
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    to { opacity: 1; clip-path: inset(0);}
}
@keyframes iconslide {
    from { opacity: 0; transform: translateX(-5rem);}
    to { opacity: 1; transform: translateX(0);}
}
 
@keyframes expand2 {
    from { opacity: 0; max-width: 1%;}
    to { opacity: 1; max-width: 100%;}
}
@keyframes fade {
    from { opacity: 0;}
    to { opacity: 1;}
}
 
@keyframes flowIn {
    from { opacity: 0; transform: translateY(20px); }
    to { opacity: 1; transform: translateY(0); }
}
 
@keyframes arrowspin {
    from { clip-path: circle(0%); transform: rotate(135deg); }
    to { clip-path: circle(75%); transform: rotate(0deg); }
}
@keyframes nodegrow {
    from { transform: scale(0);}
    to {  transform: scale(1);}
}
@keyframes diamondBorder {
    from { box-shadow: -0.5rem -20rem 0 0 rgb(var(--black-monochrome, 12, 12, 12)); }
    to { box-shadow: -0.5rem 0 0 0 rgb(var(--black-monochrome, 12, 12, 12)); }
}

:root {
    --posX: calc(50% - 358px - 12rem);
}
 
/*--- Footnote Auto-counter --*/
#page-content {
    counter-reset: megacount;
}
 
/*--- Footnote Superscript Number --*/
.fnnum {
    display: inline-block;
    text-indent: calc(-1% - 0.1em);
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}
.fnnum::after {
    content: "" counter(megacount);
    color: var(--fnColor, #E6283C);
}
.fnnum:hover {
    text-decoration: none;
    cursor: pointer;
    background-color: var(--fnColor, #E6283C);
}
.fnnum:hover::after { color: white; }
 
/*--- Footnote Content Wrapper --*/
.fncon {
    position: absolute;
    right: calc(var(--posX) + 80px);
    line-height: 1.2;
    padding: 0.82rem;
    width: 10.3rem;
    background: white;
    border: 2px solid black;
    font-weight: initial;
    font-style: initial;
    text-align: initial;
    pointer-events: none;
    opacity: 0;
    transition: opacity 0.15s linear, right 0.3s cubic-bezier(.08,.72,.5,.94);
    z-index: 9;
}
.fnnum:hover + .fncon {
    opacity: 1;
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}
.fncon::before {
    position: absolute;
    top: 0; left: 0;
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    font-weight: bold;
    font-style: initial;
    padding-left: 0.32em; padding-right: 0.32em;
    padding-top: 0.18rem; padding-bottom: 0.08rem;
}
 
/*--- Mobile Query --*/
@media only screen and (max-width: 1279px) {
    .fncon {
        position: fixed;
        bottom: 1.3rem;
        left: calc(11% - 50px);
        width: 70%;
        transition: opacity 0.15s linear, left 0.3s cubic-bezier(.08,.72,.5,.94);
    }
    .fnnum:hover + .fncon {
        left: 11%;
     }
}

+ CODE

/*
    BLANKSTYLE CSS
    [2021 Wikidot Theme]
    By Placeholder McD and HarryBlank
    Based on:
       Paperstack Theme by EstrellaYoshte
       Penumbra Theme by EstrellaYoshte
*/
 
@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Montserrat:ital,wght@0,800;1,800&display=swap');
 
#page-content { font-size: 0.8rem; }
 
#main-content {
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    padding: 0.2em;
}
 
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#header h2 { margin-top: 0.5rem; }
#header h1 span, #header h2 span { font-size: 0; display: none;}
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#header h1 a::before {
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  font-weight: 400;
  font-size: 1.3em;
}
 
#header h2::before {
  content: var(--header-subtitle, "SUBVERTING COMMON PRACTICE");
  font-weight: 700;
  font-size: 1.3em;
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@media (max-width: 707px) {
    #header h1 a::before {
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}
 
#login-status,
#login-status a {
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}
 
#page-title {
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}
 
#footer, #footer a {
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#search-top-box-input,
#search-top-box-input:hover,
#search-top-box-input:focus,
#search-top-box-form input[type=submit],
#search-top-box-form input[type=submit]:hover,
#search-top-box-form input[type=submit]:focus {
    border: none;
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#search-top-box input.empty {
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#search-top-box {
    top: 2.3rem!important;
    right: 8px;
}
 
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   display: flex;
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   top: 7.9rem;
}
 
#top-bar, #top-bar a {
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}
 
h1,
h2,
h3,
h4,
h5,
h6 {
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h1 {
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}
 
h2 {
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}
 
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}
 
@media (max-width: 707px) {
    div#extra-div-1 {
        top: 15px;
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}
 
body {
    background-image: linear-gradient(
        to bottom,
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}
 
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}
 
#page-content hr {
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}
 
#page-content tr th {
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}
 
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#page-content .sidebox tr td, 
#page-content .sidebox tr th {
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}
 
#side-bar {
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    background: #DDD;
}
 
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    box-shadow: none;
}
 
#top-bar div.open-menu a {
    border: 1px solid #333;
    border-radius: 0;
    box-shadow: none;
}
 
@media (max-width: 767px) {
    #side-bar:target {
        border: 1px black;
        box-shadow: none;
    }
}
 
#side-bar .side-block {
    border: 1px solid #333;
    border-radius: 0;
    box-shadow: none;
    background-color: #FDF6D7;
}
#side-bar .side-block.media {
    background-color:#D7EFE7;
}
#side-bar .side-block.resources {
    background-color:#F5D8E0;
}
 
#page-content .creditRate{
    margin: unset;
    margin-bottom: 4px;
}
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button {
    background-color: #ffffff;
    border: solid 1px #000;
    box-shadow: none;
    border-radius: 0;
}
 
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .fa-info {
    border: none;
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}
 
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .fa-info:hover {
    background: #333333;
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}
 
.rate-box-with-credit-button .cancel {
    border: solid 1px #ffffff;
}
 
/* ---- PAGE RATING ---- */
 
.page-rate-widget-box {
    box-shadow: none;
    border: solid 1px #000;
    margin: unset;
    margin-bottom: 4px;
    border-radius: 0;
}
 
.page-rate-widget-box .rate-points {
    background-color: #ffffff !important;
    color: #333333 !important;
    border: none;
    border-radius: 0;
}
.page-rate-widget-box .rateup,
.page-rate-widget-box .ratedown {
    background-color: #ffffff;
    border-top: none;
    border-bottom: none;
}
 
.page-rate-widget-box .rateup a,
.page-rate-widget-box .ratedown a {
    background: transparent;
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}
 
.page-rate-widget-box .rateup a:hover,
.page-rate-widget-box .ratedown a:hover {
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}
 
.page-rate-widget-box .cancel {
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.page-rate-widget-box .cancel a {
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}
.page-rate-widget-box .cancel a:hover {
    background: #333333;
    color: #ffffff;
    border-radius: 0;
}
#page-content .rate-box-with-credit-button .page-rate-widget-box { border: none; }
 
.anchor {
    position: sticky;
    height:0;
    top: 0;
}
.sidebox {
    padding: .14rem;
    margin-top: 0;
    margin-bottom: 8px;
    width: calc((100vw - 870px)/2);
    max-height: calc(100vh - 18rem);
    position: absolute;
    top: 0;
    left: 103.5%;
    z-index: 5;
    overflow: auto;
    box-sizing: border-box;
}
@media (max-width: 1290px) {
    .sidebox {
        display: none;
        visibility:hidden;
    }
}
 
.scp-image-block {
    box-shadow: none;
}
 
/* ---- YUI TAB BASE ---- */
.yui-navset .yui-nav a,.yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a{background-color:inherit;background-image:inherit}.yui-navset .yui-nav a:hover,.yui-navset .yui-nav a:focus{background:inherit;text-decoration:inherit}.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a,.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:focus,.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:hover{color:inherit;background:inherit}.yui-navset .yui-nav,.yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav{border-color:inherit}.yui-navset li{line-height:inherit}
 
/* ---- YUI TAB CUSTOMIZATION ----*/
 
 .yui-navset .yui-nav,
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav{
     display: flex;
     flex-wrap: wrap;
     width: calc(100% - .125rem);
     margin: 0 auto;
     border-color: #333333;
     box-shadow: none;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a, /* ---- Link Modifier ---- */
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a{
     color: #333333;
    /* ---- Tab Background Colour | [UNSELECTED] ---- */
     background-color: #efefef;
     border: unset;
     box-shadow: none;
     box-shadow: none;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a:hover,
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a:focus{
     color: #ffffff;
    /* ---- Tab Background Colour | [HOVER] ---- */
     background-color: #333333;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav li, /* ---- Listitem Modifier ---- */
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav li{
     position: relative;
     display: flex;
     flex-grow: 2;
     max-width: 100%;
     margin: 0;
     padding: 0;
     color: #ffffff;
     background-color: #ffffff;
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}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav li a,
 .yui-navset-top .yui-nav li a,
 .yui-navset-bottom .yui-nav li a{
     display: flex;
     align-items: center;
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     width: 100%;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav li em{
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}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav a em,
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a em{
     padding: .35em .75em;
 
     text-overflow: ellipsis;
     overflow: hidden;
     white-space: nowrap;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected, /* ---- Selection Modifier ---- */
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav .selected{
     flex-grow: 2;
     margin: 0;
     padding: 0;
    /* ---- Tab Background Colour | [SELECTED] ---- */
     background-color: #333333;
}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a,
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a em{
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}
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a{
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 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:focus,
 .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:active{
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     background-color: #333333;
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 .yui-navset .yui-content,
 .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-content{
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    border: 1px solid #333;
    box-sizing: border-box;
}
 
/*---- SCROLLBAR ----*/
 
::-webkit-scrollbar {
    width: 10px;
}
 
::-webkit-scrollbar-track {
    background: #FFF;
    border-left: 1px solid #333;
}
 
::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb {
     background: #CCC;
     border: #333 1px solid;
}
 
::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb:hover {
     background: #EEE;
}
 
/*---- CENTER IMAGES ON MOBILE courtesy of EstrellaYoshte and PeppersGhost ----*/
 
.imagediv {
    float: right;
    margin: 15px
}
 
@media (max-width: 540px) {
  .imagediv {
    float: none;
    text-align:center;
    margin: auto;
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}
 
@media only screen and (max-width: 600px) {
    .scp-image-block.block-right{
        float: none;
        margin: 10px auto;
    }
}
 
/*---- ACS-COLORED TABLE DIVS ----*/
 
#page-content .table1 tr th,
#page-content .table1 .scp-image-block .scp-image-caption {
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}
 
#page-content .table2 tr th,
#page-content .table2 .scp-image-block .scp-image-caption {
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}
 
#page-content .table3 tr th,
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#page-content .table6 tr th,
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.tableb .wiki-content-table {
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}
 
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.tableb .scp-image-block img {
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.top-left-box > .item {
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}
 
/* ---- WORDS NO LONGER BROKEN, THE CROQUEMBOUCHE HAS SPOKEN ---- */
span, a { word-break: normal !important }
 
.avatar-hover { display: none !important; }
 
#breadcrumbs, .pseudocrumbs {
    text-align: center;
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}
 
#main-content .page-tags span {
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}
 
/* -- FANCY THINGS from Woedenaz's Dustjacket Theme -- */
 
.fancyhr hr {
    border-top: 2vw solid transparent;
    background-color: rgba(var(--bright-accent), 0);
    height: 0;
    box-sizing: border-box;
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    border-image-width: 6;
    padding: 2vw;
}

Info

---

SCP-XXXX: "The Bystander"
DESCRIPTION

More by this author!

---

---

SCP-XXXX at time of recovery.

Special Containment Procedures: The SCP-XXXX file is under review. It is unknown whether SCP-XXXX represents or poses a threat to Foundation personnel, or alternatively whether its transfer or release would pose such a threat..Skótos-class objects are still in the early stages of information collection. Until further notice, it will be held in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-43. MTF Pi-43 ("Garbage In, Garbage Out") is on standby for immediate release procedures pending completion of this review.

---

Description: SCP-XXXX presents as a baseline male human being, middle-aged with brown hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. Its disposition is morose; while it does not ignore attempts at communication, it also does not itself initiate conversation and prefers to be left alone. Its primary anomalous property is the psychic effect it exerts on individuals intending to act upon its person; at irregular intervals, these intents inexplicably dissipate. It is theorized that only actions which further the aims of SCP-XXXX, or whatever force is responsible for its existence, can be successfully carried out. This would appear to preclude the conscious decision to decommission SCP-XXXX, although the Artificial Intelligence Applications Division is presently researching electronic means of carrying out decommissioning procedures should they be deemed necessary after review.

---

Addendum XXXX-1, Phenomenological Overview: SCP-XXXX was discovered by routine .aic cross-referencing of eyewitness reports to violent crimes. Under the name "Andrew Mercier," SCP-XXXX was reported present at or located immediately adjacent to nine separate cases of violent death, each event involving multiple victims. A log of these events is appended below.

Date	Location	Event
12/30/2020	Kline, Mississippi	Murder of a family of four
02/04/2021	Brandon, Missouri	Three blunt force fatalities at a riot
02/18/2021	Fort Worth, Texas	Seven fatalities in a drug seizure raid
04/09/2021	Ogden, Utah	Murder of eighteen people on one apartment building floor
04/09/2021	Ogden, Utah	Murder of seven police officers within a precinct headquarters
04/10/2021	Ogden, Utah	Murder of three doctors at a hospital
05/17/2021	Logan, Utah	Eight fatalities in a house fire
07/14/2021	Rock Springs, Wyoming	Nine fatalities in an interstate accident
07/28/2021	Mankato, Minnesota	Twelve fatalities involving drug overdoses

Despite SCP-XXXX's recorded presence at each event, which should have set off red flags in law enforcement computer systems, it was only taken into police custody after the first incident in Ogden, Utah. Though it was transferred to the Ogden Regional Medical Center after the apparent massacre at the precinct headquarters, it was not returned to custody after the death of the three doctors and was able to continue its apparent migration through the central United States.

---

Addendum XXXX-2, Interview: The following intake interview, conducted when SCP-XXXX was remanded to the custody of the Security and Containment Section of Site-43, triggered this SCP file's review.

Interview Log

Date: 29 July 2021

Interviewing Officer: H. Kuroki (Chief, Security and Containment Section)

---

Log begins.

Chief Kuroki: Name?

SCP-XXXX: Andrew Mercier.

Chief Kuroki: Occupation?

SCP-XXXX: I watch.

Chief Kuroki: What do you watch?

SCP-XXXX: People.

Chief Kuroki: To what end?

[SCP-XXXX grimaces.]

SCP-XXXX: Nasty ends, mostly.

Chief Kuroki: Are you killing these people?

SCP-XXXX: I don't think so.

Chief Kuroki: You don't think so?

SCP-XXXX: I don't think so.

Chief Kuroki: Wouldn't you know?

SCP-XXXX: I don't remember killing them.

Chief Kuroki: You were the sole survivor on your apartment block floor in Ogden.

SCP-XXXX: Trust me, I remember that.

Chief Kuroki: And the sole survivor at the police precinct.

SCP-XXXX: If they hadn't brought me in, there wouldn't have been any survivors.

Chief Kuroki: Maybe if they hadn't brought you in, there wouldn't have been any deaths.

SCP-XXXX: Well, there's probably a connection.

Chief Kuroki: Nobody even knows what happened to those three doctors.

SCP-XXXX: Nothing interesting, I can assure you.

Chief Kuroki: Maybe assure me in greater detail?

SCP-XXXX: I really prefer not to think about it.

Chief Kuroki: This strikes you as a believable story? Come on. Wherever you go, people die.

SCP-XXXX: That's one way of looking at it.

Chief Kuroki: Is there another way of looking at it?

[SCP-XXXX purses its lips and waits.]

Chief Kuroki: …Oh. I see. Ah…

[Chief Kuroki makes a note.]

Chief Kuroki: We're going to hold you for the time being. I advise you not to attempt escape.

SCP-XXXX: I won't.

Chief Kuroki: Good.

SCP-XXXX: Someone will need to be here.

Chief Kuroki: What?

SCP-XXXX: To watch.

Log ends.

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

The ListPages module does not work recursively.

For more information, see Licensing Guide.
Licensing Disclosures

Filename: XXXX.png
Author: HarryBlank
License: CC BY 3.0

Filename: Bysander.jpg
Name: Stuttgart - man on bench
Author: ugod
License: CC BY 2.0
Source: flickr

For more information about on-wiki content, visit the Licensing Master List.

Wow! You flipped a card and got: 5427!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 18:14

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard containment cell, and the object itself inside of a 5cm thick glass container.
No personnel is allowed within SCP-XXXXs containment chamber without permission from level 2 authorization or higher.

Description:SCP-XXXX is a small white cube, about 2m widths, height, and length. Whenever touched it will teleport to a random place on the continent. Anytime it is grabbed, however, it will teleport the person with it. It seems to be made of an unknown element is a new element now named ¨Gersinum¨.

The only observed way to carry SCP-XXXX is by covering it in a blanket.

Addendum: XXXX-1
SCP-5427 was grabbed with a set of grabbing claws, and when grabbed, it teleported the claws with the object. SCP-5427 was found in ███████,██████████, with the claws.

Addendum: XXXX-2
SCP-5427 was grabbed by D-8655³⁰, and when grabbed by D-8655, D-8655 was teleported away. when found, the prosthetic arm was disconnected. D-8655 was found in ███████, running away. D-8655 was terminated on sight and Class-A amnestetics were given to residents of ██████, and fake memories implanted. Further testing of SCP-XXXX is to be done.

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: serinde!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 15:18
Wow! You flipped a card and got: TEST 173 THEME!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 13:28

SCP-173 in containment.

Item #: SCP-173

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-173 is to be kept in a locked container at all times. When personnel must enter SCP-173's container, no fewer than 3 may enter at any time and the door is to be relocked behind them. At all times, two persons must maintain direct eye contact with SCP-173 until all personnel have vacated and relocked the container.

Description: Moved to Site-19 1993. Origin is as of yet unknown. It is constructed from concrete and rebar with traces of Krylon brand spray paint. SCP-173 is animate and extremely hostile. The object cannot move while within a direct line of sight. Line of sight must not be broken at any time with SCP-173. Personnel assigned to enter container are instructed to alert one another before blinking. Object is reported to attack by snapping the neck at the base of the skull, or by strangulation. In the event of an attack, personnel are to observe Class 4 hazardous object containment procedures.

Personnel report sounds of scraping stone originating from within the container when no one is present inside. This is considered normal, and any change in this behaviour should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

The reddish brown substance on the floor is a combination of feces and blood. Origin of these materials is unknown. The enclosure must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis.

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Shade, your ideas are fuccing s h i t e!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 09:48

ack!

Item #: SCP-OwO

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-OwO is kept in a 15 cm x 15 cm x 20 cm container, away from SCP-UwU and SCP-QwQ to prevent any accidental casualties

Description: SCP-OwO is a pendant made with an opalized skull of Corvus corone (carrion crow) and a 60 cm lace made with deer leather

Addendum: magik

[[footnoteblock]]

eee

Item #: SCP-UwU

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-UwU is kept in a 15 cm x 15 cm x 20 cm container, away from SCP-OwO and SCP-QwQ to prevent accidental casualties

Description: SCP-UwU is a 45 cm necklace made out of molar teeth of felis catus (domestic cat)

Addendum: why

[[footnoteblock]]

jdhjdhjdhjhddjhdjh

Item #: SCP-QwQ

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-QwQ is kept in a 15 cm x 15 cm x 20 cm box away from SCP-OwO and SCP-UwU to prevent accidental casualties

Description: SCP-QwQ is a 39 cm necklace made with the spine of Vulpes vulpes (red fox)

Addendum: :v

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Dr Xenos Devigo!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 07:34

Item: SCP-XXXX- All of Reality
Containment Class: Keter | Secondary Class: Echelon | Clearance: Level 5 Top Secret | Disruption Class: Amida | Risk Class: Critical
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a Standard Humanoid Containment Cell in Site 19 with basic amenities and monitored by 2 CCTV cameras. SCP-XXXX’s cell cannot contain SCP-XXXX due to its anomalous properties, nor any other cell adequate at containing SCP-XXXX. However when asked to return to its cell, SCP-XXXX will follow the instructions accordingly. Security personnel are to go to SCP-XXXX if it exits its cell and ask it to return to its cell upon request. see contingency whatever for if it refuses. Food is not required for SCP-XXXX’s containment.
Description:
SCP-XXXX is a male humanoid figure of an unknown ancestry and its characteristics suggest that it is between the ages of 23 to 26 however it is unknown. Its height is 195 cm and at a weight of 90 kilograms mostly in muscle. SCP-XXXX’s skin is deeply black, CP-XXXX can manipulate its own body to any shape and element, however it cannot change the color of its own body. SCP-XXXX can manipulate, add, or absorb anything in reality. When absorbing matter SCP-XXXX’s mass increases by the volume of the matter that was absorbed, however SCP-XXXX does not prefer to absorb anything under any circumstances, it says absorbing is the equivalent. When adding matter, SCP-XXXX gets matter from its body, however this does not affect its own volume. When deleting matter SCP-XXXX creates antimatter and pairs it with the atoms corresponding to the antimatter, therefore deleting both antimatter and matter.
Image of SCP-XXXX:
Discovery:
On 2/3/2015, in Seattle Washington. . I was in Pike Place Market at the time I looked down Pine St. 5 blocks down and saw a person in a motorcycle suit and helmet which was SCP-XXXX project itself up and flew towards the south with a Happy Meal in its right hand. I called my Field Manager and told what events occurred and where SCP-XXXX was going. I was in 1in 3 armored units following SCP-XXXX’s movement. After 5 minutes of flying, SCP-XXXX was seen landing on an apartment building in Downtown Bellevue. I arrived with some of my colleagues at the complex within 2 minutes of when SCP-XXXX arrived at the building. Me and my colleagues went into the building, searched the building looking for a person in a motorcycle suit, while staying quiet to not alert the SCP of their presence so the SCP could escape. After 6 minutes of searching I went into room 2323 and found a black figure taking off a motorcycle suit. After seeing the suspect I reported where the anomaly was. SCP-XXXX saw this as a breach of privacy and told me to get out, however I stood still and unholstered my tranquilizer and pointed it at SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX saw this as unnecessary violence and tried to convince me to put down the pistol. I did not comply, because I was waiting for the rest of the team to come to his location. So SCP-XXXX walked forward and began to push me out the door, so then I shot the tranquilizer aiming towards the anomaly and SCP-XXXX caught it before it could hit its skin, then SCP-XXXX continued to push me until I was out of the door. SCP-XXXX then violently slammed the door suggesting that the actions done by me were aggravating. After the team received the notification of where the anomaly was, they rushed upstairs and found me outside, and they opened the door and held their guns to the anomaly telling it was being detained. SCP-XXXX complied and let them put it in handcuffs. Once the team was out of the apartment building they shoved SCP-XXXX into the back of an armored unit and set a course to Site-17. The people on Pine St. who saw the anomaly were all interrogated and given amnestics. All info regarding SCP-XXXX that was posted online by the people in question were erased.
Interview 1:
<Begin log>
SCP-XXXX walks into the interrogation room and sits down at the table in front of a frosted mirror. SCP-XXXX alters the frosted mirror so that it is clear to see through.
SCP-XXXX: You know Dr. Clef I can see right through this mirror. There is no need for secrecy. And plus why did you take away my Happy Meal? A man has got to eat.

Dr. Clef: I'm surprised how you know who I am, and how you can look through this frosted mirror. However we are not here to talk about me, this glass, or your Happy Meal. The first question I have is, how did you fly vertically?

SCP-XXXX: Very simple, I just made the atoms in the atmosphere push up against my feet and also against my back so I could move forward in the air.

Dr. Clef: Well how could you control the atoms to your command?

SCP-XXXX: Well all of the atoms are myself, but separated.

Dr. Clef: That doesn't make sense, how could you be the atoms in our atmosphere?

SCP-XXXX: Also very simple, everything is me, and I am everything. I am all of the atoms in your body, in this room, planet, solar system, universe, and the multiverse. I am reality itself.

Dr. Clef: Well I seriously doubt that a person that has complete control over reality would be in this very room right now talking to me. Next question, why do you look like what you are right now?

SCP-XXXX: Well, I don't know why I'm pitch black, I was born like this, and about these red writings I don't know how I got these honestly. I mean I try to change these red writings all the time but to no avail I can't get these things off of my body.

Dr. Clef: Ok then next question, how do you know my name?

SCP-XXXX: Well, this isn't the first time we met technically, we haven't met in this timeline yet but in another timeline. I remember being you reporting to me when there was a new scp or something like that.

Dr. Clef: Once again I don't believe that, next question, what is your name?

SCP-XXXX: Xenos Devigo

Dr. Clef: When were you born?

SCP-XXXX: I was born before time existed.

Dr. Clef: Can you please be honest with me?

SCP-XXXX: I am.

Dr. Clef: You're being really annoying, do you know that right?

SCP-XXXX: Do you want proof that I'm not lying?!

Dr. Clef: Uhhh Yea, this is an interview after all.
SCP-XXXX’s hand phases through the mirror reaching out to Dr. Clef
SCP-XXXX: Then grab my hand and I'll show you proof!

Dr. Clef: Sorry but I don't know whether or not you're going to kill me, so no.

SCP-XXXX: Then stop having such terrible disbelief in me!

Dr. Clef: Sorry but I can't do that either because I really don't know if you're lying to me, until we do experiments on you to see that you are telling me the truth, then i'll believe your answers. Ok next question is where were you born?

SCP-XXXX: I was born nowhere, or in the nothingness.

Dr. Clef: The nothingness? Like a white void?

SCP-XXXX: No because that would imply that there is the color white and that there was a void there as well, just nothing.

Dr. Clef: Well you've given me pretty much zero information so I don't think that you’ll give me any good answers anytime soon so i'm going to end the interview, thanks for not cooperating, you may go back to your cell SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX exits the integration room with visible anger on its face.
<End log>
Addendum-1:
Containing SCP-XXXX has been a hassle to the facility and has become increasingly annoying whenever it phases through its cell. We always have to find wherever the hell it wanders off to and bring it back to its room. 2 days ago when my team and I were trying to capture the subject it literally made us freeze in time, of course I did not see that I was frozen. When I get to putting it in its cell, it turns out it's no longer a cell let alone in the facility. I end up in some mansion in the countryside somewhere, and the 2 cameras in the original cell arent even there anymore, it's insane how we found the same thing in an ugly apartment. Everyday my jealousy increases whenever I see SCP-XXXX, and should I have to be jealous of a prisoner? No I shouldn't, honestly what happens in this facility is absolutely redundant, and lastly I heard somebody was terminated because SCP-XXXX revealed some classified information, how did it even get that information?
Experiment Log:
<Begin log>
Subject was asked to turn D-XXXX into a metal cube
Input: D-XXXX
Output: A metallic cube made consisted of iron
Shortly after D-XXXX was turned into a cube SCP-XXXX reverted her back to her original form.
Subject was asked to turn a steel bar into 50 separate pieces of paper
Input: A steel bar
Output: 50 sheets of paper
Subject was asked to grow a pair of wings
Input: SCP-XXXX
Output: SCP-XXXX with the addition of wings each wing with a length of 3 meters
Subject was asked to cure D-XXXX of Alzheimer’s Disease
Input: D-XXXX
Output: D-XXXX without Alzheimer’s Disease
Extensive tests are done to check if D-XXXX didn't have Alzheimer’s Disease after the alteration, the results came back negative.
Subject was asked to turn positive matter into antimatter
Input: A gram of copper
Output: Antimatter
The subject quickly absorbed the antimatter as soon as it was transmuted, visible pain is seen on SCP-XXXX’s face, and it told the researchers it was going to do that again.
The subject was asked to make the movie “Ready Player One” an improved movie
Input: Ready Player One
Output: Ready Player One (Unchanged)
The subject responded with that Ready Player One is perfect, it can't be improved upon.
The subject was asked to slow the fall of a falling cube
Input: A falling cube
Output: A static floating cube
Subject was asked to show the “proof” of it creating the reality to D-XXXX
Input: D-XXXX
Output: D-XXXX that knows “the truth”
Subject asked if D-XXXX could tell Dr. Clef what he saw. D-XXXX was put on a special lie detector, and the questions given to D-XXXX proved SCP-XXXX’s answers in Interview 1.
<End Log>
Interview 2:
<Begin Log>
SCP-XXXX is seen with a smug look on its face as it enters the interrogation room.
Dr. Clef: Well, you proved your answers, are you happy?

SCP-XXXX: Yes very much so.

Dr. Clef: Ok first question, if you're the creator why don't you destroy this facility and escape?

SCP-XXXX: Well thats a dumb question, I dont need to escape. And plus I don't like to destroy things unless it's absolutely imperative that I need to destroy it.

Dr. Clef: Second question, if you are the creator of existence, then are you aware of the Scarlet King?

SCP-XXXX: Ughhhh the Scarlet King is such a problem child, he literally wants to kill me for making him the weakest out of all his brothers, he’s so spoiled.

Dr. Clef: If it is such a problem why don't you just erase it?

SCP-XXXX: Well that's absurd, I'm a creator not a destroyer, wouldn't want to destroy one of my creations even if it wanted to kill me and the work that i've done. Honestly he just needs to learn to be less annoying and bratty.

Dr. Clef: If that is the case then why don't you just remove its powers instead of deleting it?

SCP-XXXX: Oddly I've never thought of that, thanks for telling me.

Dr. Clef: Next question, in the previous interview you told me that you were my boss in another timeline, what position were you in the foundation, and how do you control/go to different timelines?

SCP-XXXX: In timeline 0-1 I was administrator, well not technically. I made and controlled the administrator to investigate what humans would do with the monsters I created, (Add more) And how I create timelines is that I pause the individual universe, sorta save my progress on that timeline, then I reverse the atoms to go to the certain time I want to go to, then I just do things differently than I did on the previous timeline.

Dr. Clef: If you are everything does that mean you are me, and I am you?

SCP-XXXX: Yes, except for the neurons in your brain, I can alter them but they have a mind other than mine.

Dr. Clef: Next question, if you are in control of reality and you were the administrator in a different timeline, why didn't you dismantle The Serpent's Hand?

SCP-XXXX: I didn't want to protect the facility against the Serpent’s Hand because I wanted to study what humans would do in this scenario, and plus I don't fix human mistakes, I let other humans do that for me.

Dr. Clef: If you are reality does that mean you can make multiples of yourself, if so, is the entity im talking to right now a multiple or the real entity?

SCP-XXXX: Well yes this is a multiple of myself but this entity is as real as the other multiples of me, this from in front of you is more of a terminal than an entity.

Dr. Clef: Alright next question, did you alter the lie detector given to D#XXXX so it makes you sound like you're not lying.

SCP-XXXX: Really? You still have doubt in me? Well no I did not alter the lie detector.

Dr. Clef: Then why did you only show a small bit of your power in our previous interview? You could have taken my hand by force and shown me everything.

SCP-XXXX: Screw it, i'm showing you the truth, you don't have a choice.
Dr. Clef: HEY WA-
SCP-XXXX grabs Dr. Clef’s hand and both Clef and the anomaly disappear for 10 seconds. When they both reappeared, Dr. Clef’s face was in clear shock.
SCP-XXXX: Do you believe me now?

Dr. Clef: Ye-ya-yea ok I do beli- believe you.
Dr. Clef leaves the interrogation room with a frightened look on his face. SCP-XXXX in return leaves the room to go to his cell. Thus signaling the end of the interview.
<End Log>
Addendum-2:
In the beginning there was nothing, just a white void, although that would be implying there is white and a void, so there was nothing, until I came into existence, I was confused and didn't know anything. I looked down and saw something other than the void, it looked different than nothing, it was more dark, but then it moved. I was scared and naive, because it was myself. After realizing it was myself I spent a lot of time staying in nothing until it was getting bored of being in nothing. Then I had this odd urge, this urge felt like a lingering hunger for satisfaction and creation, so to appease this hunger, I tried to imagine what something looked like to get a different picture than the nothingness, I saw myself but split apart. So I took a part of myself and made a space inside of myself, and stayed in there, it was better than nothing, it was something. But then after another long period of time I got bored of itself and the space around it, so I tried to take a piece of myself, and as a result got a black sphere, however it was bored of its own color so it condensed the black sphere until it was the color of the nothingness outside of something, this quenched my hunger for satisfaction for a bit of time. So now there were 2 things in this space instead of just myself. But once again my satisfaction yearned for more, so the now black figure got another piece of myself and this time made it a small black super condensed sphere. Now there was variation but still I was bored and wanted more. I wished that these spheres would move so that I wasnt the only moving thing in this empty space. My wish came true, since these spheres were myself I realised I could control them.
But now satisfaction kicked in and I was immediately bored. So I made these spheres constantly move around each other making constant movement, thus creating entropy. Now I wanted to add even more rotating spheres to the mix, making my hunger for creating appeased for a short period of time. Then I created the first atom which was hydrogen, so then I wanted more of this constant rotation from this atom, so then I added 1 more black sphere and white sphere to the atom, this made helium. I kept on making these hydrogen and helium atoms keep my hunger from growing.
I Then kept on adding huge amounts of atoms until there was so much hydrogen and helium it made a star. I was amazed by its beauty and I was satisfied for a long period of time, and it was well worth the wait. Then I felt the hunger for satisfaction kick in, making me yearn for more, I looked at the star closely and saw there were atoms being tossed around and being made into new atoms. I had a solution to my hunger, if I made a home I wouldn't need to be focused on satisfying my hunger, so I decided to make my home with the newfound atoms coming from the star. I learned how to make new atoms such as oxygen, iron, carbon etc. I studied each atom to learn its properties, and made new ones to quench my hunger once more. So I pondered on how to make a home, does it need different layers of these atoms? Does it need to be solid? Does it need to be so that when I'm on this planet I accidentally drift off into space? How close does it need to be to the sun? So after deciding on all of those questions I began working on Mercury, then after seeing how much of a terrible job I did started to work on Venus, then after screwing up again I began working on Earth, I screwed up on this planet as well, so then I made Mars, then Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and finally Neptune, it still yearned for more satisfaction. I started to make mini sized planets around these big planets, seeing if this would get rid of the nagging starvation. These mini planets rotated around the bigger planets and my famine was quenched but not enough to get rid of it. So then I chose the most habitable planet in the solar system; Earth, and flew down to it to continue disposing of the hunger of creating.
When I flew down to Earth I saw a barren wasteland of molten rock and lava. It wasn't very satisfying to look at. To freshen it up I threw some meteors at the surface of Earth which had a special liquid in it which would help cool down the Earth’s atmosphere and surface. I knew it would take a long time until the Earth cooled down, so I waited, for my long awaited satisfaction in a deep sleep. A few million years later, I woke up underwater confused. I rose out of the water and looked at my surroundings, but now the Earth looked even more boring than before and that wasn't good, it was just one color and no elevation to anything. But then and there I had the idea of life, the best idea of my life and the worst, I asked myself, what if there were objects that were like me? Not just neutrons and protons like actual thinking, moving, objects, another being in this empty plain of existence. Surely that would get rid of the lingering sensation of emptiness. However it sounded way too difficult to reproduce myself entirely, so I came up with a brilliant solution. From the entropy that it created there always was disorder, maybe if it made an object that reproduced itself constantly and evolved against disorder, maybe then will the object evolve into a similar being to myself.
So I went to the bottom of the ocean where it could evolve unharmed by the sun and made a group of molecules that worked in symphony together to make a group that would benefit itself. It would take another long time for my malnourishment to be quenched again. I thought to myself that I would have to go into deep sleep again and be left unsatisfied for a long time, it made me feel sad. So I didn't go to sleep, but instead I accelerated time and improved the planet to sustain life as it grew older. As I saw the creature evolve into multiple then into multiples of that multiple, I saw how each evolution was made and how it would help it evolve and continue living. I learnt to make living cells out of certain molecules and soon advanced lifeforms. As the creatures were evolving some creatures evolved differently and evolved into different creatures altogether. As these species were evolving, I sought to make Earth look better and less boring, so I erected the sunken mountains from the crust of the planet and made land for the evolving species to live on. (Continue to talk about evolution and humans and the creation of super beings)
Addendum-3: Talk about human society, the beginning of the foundation, the real administrator really into depth with the administrator 2000 words or more, timeline 0-1, SCP-000, secrecy, and ???
Ideas:
Ideas: Black holes, the end of satisfaction, who really created reality, try to make this scp memorable and hook the reader into the story, Changing things in the report to have a more "researcher" tone to them would work very well. Character development?

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Pagong27Gamings Sandbox!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 07:26

DON'T EDIT WITHOUT PERMISSION!

CAPTION-GOES-HERE

Item #: SCP-5794

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: No one is allowed to play any of SCP-5794's tracks for their safety, regardless of the album's track listings. Any recordings of the album's tracks online or played in the public are to be deleted.

Description: [SCP-5794 is an album containing █ releases, from Stage 1 to Stage █; and was written by The Caretaker, a long-running project by English musician ███████ █████ █████.

Discovery: On █/█/202█, two people were admitted to ████ ███████ Memorial Hospital in the state of Louisiana due to suspected dementia. Both patients claimed that a music track caused the disease itself. Upon discovery, it turned out that they were from an album Everywhere at the End of Time.

continuing soon]

Addendum: Optional additional paragraphs

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Artemis P Fonswick!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 06:38

[[html]]
[[/html]]

Origin of humor

CAPTION-GOES-HERE

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be hermetically sealed into a plastic box in the storage area at Area 179. Box holding SCP-XXXX is to be isolated to an empty cargo container inside a Faraday cage. No recording or transmitting device of any kind is allowed into the Faraday cage. Access to SCP-XXXX needs approval of two level 4 researchers. Any unauthorized contact with SCP-XXXX is to be met with immediate and deadly force. After examining SCP-XXXX the subject is to be terminated within 60 minutes of contact to prevent LK-class restructuring event. SCP-XXXX is to be inspected every five years and if the condition of SCP-XXXX has deteriorated, measures is to be made to ensure containment. Five printer farms with 1,000 printers each are to be ready to maximise control of containment breach.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a standard A4 sized piece of paper containing the details of [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-XXXX came into Foundation’s possession due to a containment breach³¹ of SCP-079 in █/█/████. After the containment was re-established, SCP-XXXX was found by Dr. Cooper in a nearby printer. Upon reading the paper and its content Dr. Cooper contacted security and demanded immediate containment protocols to be enacted on her instructions. After initial containment was established, Dr. Cooper terminated herself after leaving written instructions about the nature of SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX seems to contain memetic anomaly that can lead to an LK-class restructuring event. Exact information is unavailable due to the difficulty to research SCP-XXXX without risk of memetic exposure. Dr. Zuma, Dr. Mejia and Dr. Thornton have confirmed that SCP-XXXX is a level 4 threat to humanity’s psyche before they were terminated. Extradimensional entities are confirmed to be part of possible LK-class restructuring event. Further analysis of extradimensional entities classified as level 6 hazard by O5-█.

All instances to eliminate SCP-XXXX has caused a containment breach. SCP-XXXX’s anomaly properties extend it to recreate itself upon destruction or after sustaining certain amount of deterioration³². SCP-XXXX will recreate itself into a random electrical device capable of printing or copying approximately 50 kilometers of its destruction. If no such device is in set range, it is theorized³³ that the range is increased until suitable device is in range. Any copy of SCP-XXXX has the same anomaly properties as the original, except its recreation upon destruction. Only when the last copy of the SCP-XXXX is destroyed is another recreated.

Research of SCP-XXXX is suspended indefinitely. O5 council has deemed the cost of meaningful research to be unsustainable as every individual researching SCP-XXXX is to be terminated. Using class D personnel has been deemed unproductive since scientists cannot ascertain given information without direct exposure to SCP-XXXX’s memetic anomaly and thus negating the use of class D personnel.

Addendum:

If SCP-XXXX shows signs of deterioration, it is critical to ensure a copy is made of the SCP-XXXX using an old non-electrical typewriter. After the copy is made, it is safe to destroy the original. Usage of class D personnel is permitted during this process. Maximum safe memetic exposure time is deemed to be 30 minutes.

Addendum:

Research Log A-0
Audio record of Dr. Cooper, 16 minutes since exposure:

Anomaly is memetic and causes the individual to lose all sense of humor if read. I can testify this as I felt it when I first read this new SCP. Extend of anomaly is unknown at this moment and I suggest more research to be made. In case of a greater memetic threat I will not inform what exactly is written on the paper.

Audio record of Dr. Cooper, 24 minutes since exposure:

As I feared, the anomaly has deeper levels than just losing all sense of humor. It has been approximately 22 minutes since I was exposured to the memetic agent that I started feeling strange presence at the back of my head. I have informed security of this and enacted containment measures for myself.

Audio record of Dr. Cooper, 41 minutes since exposure:

Now, when I close my eyes, I can see a bright window in the distance. Behind it there are some blurry humanoid figures moving around. It is too bright to see anything else. I think those are the beings that was described in the anomaly. I feel nervous and I feel like I am being watched.

Audio record of Dr. Cooper, 45 minutes since exposure:

It is impossible to get a better look at the window, but I have concentrated my efforts to look around me. I see vague humanoid profiles surrounding me, seeming unaware of anything that is happening. I am starting to feel somekind of closeness to them.

Audio record of Dr. Cooper, 76 minutes since exposure:

It seems that the beings are aware that something is off! They are searching me! I fear that if they found me, they will do something terrible to all of us! Secure, contain, protect! [unaudible]

At this time Dr. Cooper managed to wrestle a firearm from a nearby guard and terminated herself.

Research Log A-11
Audio Log D-1 by Dr. Carlton:

I have compiled all the research files thus far and I can make some broad generalisations about SCP-XXXX. The paper itself is normal, but the text itself is memetic and causes the reader to become aware of somekind of "truth" and in the process they lose all sense of humor. Dr. Meija's research confirmed this as he was known to giggle and laugh at every possible joke imaginable and after exposing himself to SCP-XXXX it was all gone. Straight face, even when he heard the joke that in the preliminary testing had him kneeling over laughing and crying.

Then we come to the beings the subjects have observed after 40 minutes of exposure. It seems they are extradimensional and what little I have managed to gather without exposing myself to SCP-XXXX is that they are mentioned in the anomaly. It seems that these beings are somehow connected to the immediate effect of SCP-XXXX. In what extend, that is unknown since every researcher exposed has declined to speak about it and cited it to be dangerous and to trigger memetic contagion.

Research made to identify the humanoid beings surrounded the subjects have identified that the humanity has a collective psyche and those humanoids are indeed other humans. Or more precise their manifested psyche. And that somehow they are all connected to each other in a subconsious level. Further research on the subject is pending.

Dr. Zuma's research report indicates that individual memetic exposures are not separated from each other but are the same one. Dr. Zuma's research revealed that if a test subject was exposed to SCP-XXXX's memetic anomaly and after 30 minutes other test subject was also exposed, the second test subject was in same state as the first one. Thus the memetic exposure is to be calculated from the first subject.

My advice? Leave this thing alone. I am not a curious person and I really don't want to know more about this. I think this is far enough of research we have made to keep SCP-XXXX contained. Anything else is to just satiate the curiosity of someone. And you know the proverb about the cat.

Addendum:

Incident #1
Dr. Zuma proposed laminating the SCP-XXXX in order to preserve its condition. SCP-XXXX was successfully laminated. Copy of SCP-XXXX was found seven minutes later on a copying machine on floor ███. Security was alarmed and containment regained 13 minutes later. Two level 1 Foundation employee were terminated due memetic exposure.

Containment procedures upgraded.

Duration of containment breach: 20 minutes
Duration of memetic exposure: 13 minutes

Incident #2
During testing SCP-XXXX was intentionally damaged to a point of unreadable. Containment breach was alarmed, and Mobile Task Force “Quicksilver” was dispatched. SCP-XXXX was found to be recreated itself in a local radio station at ████████, 37 km from Area 179. Embedded Foundation personnel (later the asset) alerted the Mobile Task Force after reading SCP-XXXX when local news anchor brought it to the studio. To ascertain no further containment breach to be had, the asset activated protocol Alpha-Red-Four and terminated contaminated personnel. After the Mobile Task Force arrived at the scene, the asset gave hastily contained SCP-XXXX to the Task Force leader before termination.

Incident was staged as a domestic terrorist attack where the perpetrator was shot.

Containment procedures upgraded.

Duration of containment breach: 52 minutes
Duration of memetic exposure: 37 minutes

Incident #3
During a procedure of making a copy of SCP-XXXX, class D personnel was observed to speak silently while typing. After termination of class D personnel, Dr. Thornton heard a security guard to have a conversation about the nature of SCP-XXXX. Dr. Thornton alerted security of containment breach and identified contaminated Foundation personnel for immediate termination. Dr. Thornton was also terminated due to memetic contamination.

It was revealed that the security guard had heard class D personnel’s words and the memetic anomaly was transferred, increasing memetic exposure to dangerous levels.

Containment procedures upgraded.

Duration of containment breach: 14 minutes
Duration of memetic exposure: 67 minutes

Incident #4 through #8
Five authorized controlled containment breaches were created during testing and containment procedures were upgraded accordingly.

Containment procedures are calculated to be 96.3% effective on ensuring SCP-XXXX will recreate itself upon destruction on Foundation controlled printer.

Maximum duration of continuous containment breach: 31 minutes
Maximum duration of continuous memetic exposure: 19 minutes

Incident #9

Level 4 clearance required!
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Checking security clearance… Security clearance accepted.

Incident #9
Sanctioned level 5 test.
Authorization: O5-█.
Location: ███████
Test leader: Dr. Kohl
Purpose of test: Ascertain SCP-XXXX's connection to extradimensional entities and to observe entities.

Dr. Kohl was authorizised to conduct level 5 test on SCP-XXXX. Test was done on a secure location. A copy of SCP-XXXX was produced for the test. Test subject was instructed to concentrate on the observation of extradimensional entities reported by Dr. Thornton and not to report any information of SCP-XXXX.

Test subject was exposed to the memetic anomaly. Upon examining SCP-XXXX the subject was horrified and told that the content of SCP-XXXX hit him like a freight train. Dr. Kohl reminded the subject to not retail any information from SCP-XXXX.

After 22 minutes the subject informed he felt a strange presence. Dr. Kohl confirmed it was consistent with Dr. Coopers report. The subject informed strange feeling growing in the back of his brain.

After 40 minutes of memetic exposure the subject was observed to become more agitated. The subject told that when he closed his eyes he saw several blurry humanoid figures in a bright window. Figures were aware of the subject, but in a general sense and ignored the subjects presence. Dr. Kohl instructed subject to keep his eyes closed and keep talking.

On 60 minute mark security leader informed Dr. Kohl they had reached maximum safe timeframe.

After 75 minutes the subject was vivid and fearful. One of the figures had stopped and was gazing through the window, as if searching something. Dr. ██████ informed Dr. Kohl that they had reached the maximum recorded exposure and to continue the test was dangerous. Dr. Kohl ignored this and continued the test.

After 80 minutes the subject was in a state of shock. More figures had stopped and now they all were searching something through the window. The subject stated that they were searching him and it was only a matter of time before he was found.

After 81 minutes the subject screamed in terror and Dr. Kohl terminated the subject immediately.

Test was deemed a partial success by Dr. Kohl and requested a second test to be made to further the knowledge of extradimensional entities. Request was denied by O5-█. All information of the incident was expunged from the general directionary and sealed behind increased security clearance.

Dr. Kohl: "But we were so close!"
O5-█: "Yes, too close."

[[footnoteblock]]

Manimal

Simulation Loop

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Wandsmen Theme 3!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 07 Apr 2021 04:21

+ Show code

/* **code/variables goes here** */
 
:root {
 
/* S-CSS-P Integration */
    /* If you're making a new CSS theme, please include the following three variables at minimum. */
    --theme-base: "black-highlighter";
    /* must be either "black-highlighter" or "sigma9" */
    --theme-id: "wandsmen-theme-3";
    /* set this to the URL of your theme's page - eg for "component:ar-theme", set it to "ar-theme" */
    --theme-name: "Wandsmen Theme3";
    /* set this to your theme's full name */
 
    --header-title: "The Wandsmen";
    --header-subtitle: "Pursing that Which is Right, and that Which is True";
        --logo-image: url(http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/local--files/wandsmen-theme-2/symbol.png);
    --background: linear-gradient(0.99 turn, #a11cff, #a11cff, #a11cff);
    /* A grey gradient */
    --pale-accent: 100, 5, 50;
    /* light grey, for visited links (and unvisited) */
    --bright-accent: 100, 5, 50;
    /* bright grey */
    --medium-accent: 100, 5, 50;
    /* medium/light grey - the "default" accent color */
    --dark-accent: 100, 5, 50;
    /* dark grey */
    --alt-accent: 100, 5, 50;
    /* light grey */
}
 
/*Code for background color*/
body {
 background-color: #cccccc;
}

[[/code]]

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