scp-000000000

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Wow! You flipped a card and got: The Nom Creacher!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 21:52

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is contained in a 12x12x12 cell with two separate areas for sleeping, some sort of entertainment for animals (ex: dangling synthetic mouse) that must be replaced once every week, and an automatic water system connected to site water lines.

Due to SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties, one D-Class personnel a member of foundation staff must enter SCP-XXXX's cell and "feed" it once every 24 hours to keep it from demanifesting.

Head researcher, Dr. Simmons has deemed all instances of SCP-XXXX-1 safe, and allowed the feeder to keep SCP-XXXX-1 if they so choose.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a small, male, quadrupedal creature similar in shape to a possum with abnormally large ears. It's fur patterns, vocalizations, and (non anomalous) diet closely resemble that of a western red fox. But DNA testing shows closest relation with the common house cat.

SCP-XXXX enjoys affection from humans, and will go out of it's way to be pet or cared for. Those giving SCP-XXXX affection report feeling a sense of happiness and enjoyment, regardless of their previous outlook on animals.

SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects are shown in it's diet. SCP-XXXX has shown the ability to consume anything without any sort of repercussion. If SCP-XXXX is fed something undesirable by a human, it will immediately regurgitate an object that the feeder specifically wanted or needed at that moment. This process does not seem to bother SCP-XXXX. It even appears proud of its creation, regardless of size, and pain that it would inflict upon being regurgitated.
If SCP-XXXX is not fed an object by a human at any point within 24 hours, it will demanifest, and teleport to the nearest human in need of a specific object.

Testing Logs

Test Feeder: Dr. Amosa
Object Fed: Old Banana

Object Received: stylish pen

Notes: "I think this lil guy is gonna be a lot of fun to work with"

Test Feeder: Dr. Paul
Object Fed: Piece of trash off of cell floor

Object Received: Wrist watch

Notes: None

Test Feeder: D-1762
Object Fed: Piece of trash off of cell floor

Object Received: Large wool quilt

Notes: None

Test Feeder: Dr. Otashi
Object Fed: Office chair (which took a considerable amount of time for SCP-XXXX to fully eat)

Object Received: Much nicer office chair

Notes: None

Test Feeder: D-82293
Object Fed: D-82293's fingernail clipping

Object Received: 2000's model flip phone (confiscated by site staff)

Notes: None

Test Feeder: D-92638 (was imprisoned for multiple accounts of animal abuse)
Object Fed: notably sharp rock

Object Received: Antique black powder bomb, with a lit fuse. As well as angry shouting from SCP-XXXX

Notes: "No more D Class! Ever! Who the hell let that guy in?

Test Feeder: Dr. Amosa
Object Fed: Piece of carpet from Dr. Amosa's office

Object Received: Flash drive. Contents were a document that was recently lost

Notes: None

Test Feeder: Dr. Karsian
Object Fed: Soft grape

Object Received: Firm grape

Notes: "Well that was unexpected."

Wow! You flipped a card and got: MyHub!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 20:50

SCP-XXXX (slime time, greaze teaze)

East wing of Miami Walmart Supercenter

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in the Miami Walmart Supercenter, in the east-wing employees-only area. An offshoot of Stationary Task Force Kappa-51, Kappa-52 "Always Lower Prices" are to double-check all papers regarding Greazeburger at ██████████████████████, a Foundation front outside the effective perimeter.

NOTICE FROM GREAZEBURGER INVESTIGATION TEAM

Personnel currently in or around the Supercenter, including any investigation or communication sites established in the 50m radius, can probably get away with submitting a blank form. Just don't mistype your ID, please.

— Dr. Kensing, Head of the Greazeburger Investigation Team

Please answer the following questions to access the full file:
If necessary, round all answers to the nearest thousandth.
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/* this is a blockquote and other email related css bits, I took the emails from 5555 and made them html */

div.mail {
background: url(http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/the-great-hippo/SCP_icon%281%29.png) top right no-repeat;
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color: #b01;
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<script>

function getRandomInt(max) {
return (Math.floor(Math.random() * Math.floor(max)))+1;
}
var clik = 0;
var num1 = getRandomInt(4);
var num2 = getRandomInt(3);
var disp1 = "$ " + String(num1) + "+" + String(num2) + "= ? $ <br>";
document.write(disp1);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput"> <br>
<script>
var num3 = getRandomInt(5);
var num4 = getRandomInt(9);
var disp1 = "$ " + String(num3) + "\\times" + String(num4) + "= ? $ <br>";
document.write(disp1);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput2"> <br>
<script>
var num5 = getRandomInt(9);
var num6 = getRandomInt(9);
var num7 = getRandomInt(40);
var num8 = getRandomInt(9);
var num9 = getRandomInt(25);
var disp1 = "$ " + String(num5) + "x +" + String(num6) + "y =" + String(num7) + ", $ <br>" ;
var disp3 = "$ " + String(num8) + "x =" + String(num9) + "$ <br>";
var disp2 = "$ y=? $ <br>";
document.write(disp1);
document.write(disp3);
document.write(disp2);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput3"> <br>
Find the inverse DTFT of the rectangular pulse spectrum described over the fundamental band <br>
$ (|\Omega| \leq \pi) $ by $ X(\Omega) = rect(\Omega/2\Omega_c) $ for $ \Omega_c \leq \pi. $ <br>
<script>
var num0 = getRandomInt(3) + 1;
var disp1 = "When $ \\Omega_c = \\pi/" + num0 + "$, what is the lowest positive limiting value? <br>";
document.write(disp1);
</script>
<input type="text" placeholder="Input answer…" id="myInput4"> <br>
<button type="button" onclick="getInputValue();">Submit</button>
<p id="demo"> </p>
<p id="deno"> </p>
<script>
//this is not footnotes now
var hey = ((num7-(num5 * (num9 / num8))) / num6)
var nummer = Math.round((hey + Number.EPSILON) * 1000) / 1000
function aaa(){
document.getElementById("deno").innerHTML = 'XXXX Clearance confirmed, Thank you. <br> Be sure to take extensive notes and review them outside of the effective perimeter. <hr>';

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document.getElementById("invisible").style.top= "initial";
document.getElementById("invisible").style.opacity= "1";

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$("#invisible").delay(200).animate({marginTop: "0px"}, { queue: false, duration: 2000 });
$("#invisible").delay(200).animate({"opacity": "1"}, { queue: false, duration: 2000 });
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function getInputValue(){
// Selecting the input element and get its value
var inputVal = document.getElementById("myInput").value;
var inputVal2 = document.getElementById("myInput2").value;
var inputVal3 = document.getElementById("myInput3").value;
var inputVal4 = document.getElementById("myInput4").value;

// Displaying the value, 3=((7-(5(9/8)))/6)
if( inputVal == num1 + num2 && inputVal2 == num3 * num4 && inputVal3 == nummer && inputVal4 == num0 && clik == 0) {
clik = 1;
document.getElementById("demo").innerHTML = '<hr> <b> LOGIN:</b> <br> Correct answers flagged. While this case is under review, please type your ID, including any classification or security clearance portions. If you have SCP-XXXX related clearances, please use your G.I.T. ID. <br> <input type="password" placeholder="Input password…" maxlength="10" value="iamO5-1duh" id="myInput5"> <br> <button type="button" onclick="aaa();">Submit</button> <hr>';

}else if(clik ==0){
clik = 1;
document.getElementById("demo").innerHTML = '<hr> <b> LOGIN:</b> <br> Please type your ID, including any classification or security clearance portions. If you have SCP-XXXX related clearances, please use your G.I.T. ID. <br> <input type="password" placeholder="Input password…" maxlength="10" value="iamO5-1duh" id="myInput5"> <br> <button type="button" onclick="aaa();">Submit</button> <hr>';

}
}

</script>

<!— add a class="invisible" into this div to make it hide —>

<div id="invisible" class="invisible">

<p id="devo"> </p>

<b> Item #: </b> SCP-XXXX </br> </br>

<b> Object Class: </b> Safe </br> </br>

<b> Special Containment Procedures: </b> SCP-XXXX is to be contained in the Miami Walmart Supercenter, in the east-wing employees-only area. An offshoot of Stationary Task Force Kappa-51, Kappa-52 "Always Lower Prices" are to double-check all papers regarding Greazeburger at <i>"Photocopies and Tie Apparel"</i>, a Foundation front outside the effective perimeter. </br> </br>

All electronics responsible for the operation and upkeep of the Miami Walmart Supercenter are to be outsourced to <i>"Photocopies and Tie Apparel"</i> as well. Stationary Task Force Kappa-51 (“Always Low Prices”) are to increase amounts of SCP-5951-2 harvested. </br> </br>

<b> Description:</b> SCP-XXXX is a landline telephone, currently located in the storage area of the east-wing of the Miami Walmart Supercenter. The phrase "FOR TRIPE, GRIPE, AND HYPE" appears to have been crudely placed on the front with a label maker. Individuals within a 50m radius of SCP-XXXX display an inability to do mathematical calculations, overestimating all results regardless of ability or problem complexity. Confidence in the resulting incorrect answer lessens the further one is from SCP-XXXX.</br> </br>

<I> 13/2/21 Description Update:</i> Disconnecting, removing, dismantling, boiling, melting, and vaporizing the telephone all have had no effect on the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX. The area around the former landline telephone's location has been determined to be the source of a bend in the fundamental laws of mathematics. A new telephone appeared shortly after complete destruction, with a second label reading "DO NOT VAPORIPE (I COULDN'T FIT THE RHYME, DONT BREAK THIS)"</br> </br>
<I> 18/2/21 Description Update:</i> This bureaucratohazard also extends to <I>all</i> mechanical and electrical evaluations—though no malfunctions, errors, or bugs are found before or after calculation. The complete mechanisms of SCP-XXXX's informational manipulation are currently unknown. </br> </br>

<b> Addendum SCP-XXXX-1: </b> Below is a log of the discovery and initial testing of SCP-XXXX: </br> </br>
<!— THIS IS AN EMAIL —>
<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>Missed Phone Call</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Hey Dr. Kensing, while you were off another phone incident happened again. I had to pick it up after drawing the short stick. He was blabbering off about his monthly report and other multidimensional problems. He gave us a gift, but he didn't sound very happy. It is ridiculous and dangerous and I don't have the words for it so I'm just attaching the log. I know you are my superior, and thus I may be insignificant, but you should read this and come back. ASAP.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
<details><summary>ATT: Incident_51-2_Documentation</summary>
<div class="blockquote" style="background-color: #f1f1f1; !important">
<!— THIS IS THE LOG STARTING HERE —>

<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> MANIFESTATION — 9:03</strong> </div></br></br>
<div class="tt"> DR. OSCAR ANSWERS PHONE — 10:29 </div></br></br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Uh… Hello? </br> </br>
<b> POI-792</b><span class="footnote">Martin Greaze, Earth's Greazeburger Representative</span><b>: </b> Welcome to the 24/7 Greazeburger Hotline, where yesterday’s meat is now suddenly neat! How can I help you, skin sack? </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Well, I'd like to uh, speak to a represe— </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> I've got some business that needs getting down to. How long has it been, Oscar? Can you check for me? </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Oscar flips a few papers and mutters inaudibly. </i></div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> A month about. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Plus a day? </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> No, minus one. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Mushy useless trivial conversationals, that's all. Before I get down to business, do you have any concerns or questions? </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Yeah, I was wondering why— </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> I'm quite fed up with your attitude, blood bowl. I called <I>you</i>. I've been looking at the papers. I've been looking at the numbers. I've quadruple checked <I>ALL</i> the figures, and I don't think you guys have been faithful to our little agreement. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Sounds of footsteps, followed by a minute of silence. </i></div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> We uh, may have been, just a tiny insignificant little bit, around maybe, uh, like, not that much…</br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Oscar shuffles in his seat.</i></div> </br>
But we might have uh missed a calculation or two I'm sure, and. Well, yeah we are a bit short, but— </br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Not cool bone boy. I thought we had a solid deal. We even let you guys keep ⅔ of the profits for yourselves. Don't worry though, this isn't nothing a little bargaining can't fix. Our last agreement? Consider it nixed. But! For ⅖ profit and a bit more of that goop, we'll keep your planets name off our focus group list. Ive got a pen right here ready to write Terra and cross it out again. Hell, I'll even throw in a little gift for yall. Whaddya say, uh, skin sack?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Well, I'll have to talk to my supervisor and all but—</br> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Pleasure doing business with you Oscar, I'd kiss you if this phone and these pesky cords weren't in the way. Remember, you can’t spell “Greaze” without “EZ”!</br></br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> At this moment, the phone line is severed, leaving the handset outside of the machine and rendered useless. </i></div> </br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
<div style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 10px;"> <b>Closing Statement: </b>Approximently 30 seconds after the phone line's severance, SCP-XXXX manifested. </div>
</div>
</details>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: Missed Phone Call</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Oh yeah, also, could we start testing this gift with a D-Class or two?

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: RE: Missed Phone Call</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Finished reading the log, I'm headed over. You can start drafting plans but please wait for me to greenlight them.
</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Kensing. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="tt"> <strong><i>2/2/21</i> Testing Proposals: </strong></div>

<!— I AM WRITING A BLOQUOTE TEST FORMAT THING —>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #1:</b> Test any memetic or exposure related damages from exposure to "gift", now formally designated as SCP-XXXX.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was told to spend 24 hours around SCP-XXXX, including sleeping. </br>

<b>Result:</b> No significant results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) That's good.

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #2:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and place it to his ear, relaying all information. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Besides a low hum, no results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Jr. Dr. Ptacher) Yeah, I didn't expect much. At least the thing isn't poisonous or acidic. Or venomous.

</div>

</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #3:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and say words.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone, place it to his ear and politely say hello. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Besides a low hum, no results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Jr. Dr. Ptacher) Expected.

</div>

</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #4:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and say rude words.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone, place it to his ear and rudely say hello, explicative usage encouraged. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Besides a low hum, no results. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #1:</b> (Jr. Dr. Ptacher) Expected. </br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #2:</b> (Jr. Dr. Oscar) I know rigorous research and all is our game but can we try actually using the damn phone?!

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #5:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and dial the number (666)-666-6666.

<div style="color: #bd4d37; border: 1px solid #bd4d37; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #e6bab3;"> <b> DENIED </b> </div></br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Perhaps we should choose a number that exists, and one that can be completely tracked. Reprimandation will be considered if you fail to take your job <i>and</i> this anomaly seriously Dr. Ptacher.</br>

</div>

</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #6:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and dial a prepaid mobile phone.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and dial the prepaid mobile phone number. </br>

<b>Result:</b> The call went to voicemail. No observable effects on the phone, subject, or SCP-XXXX.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #1:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) I'll try this again tomorrow.</br>

</div>

</br>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #6:</b> Make a D-Class pick up the phone and dial Dr. Kensing's phone number.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> Dr. Kensing's work phone was placed in the room with D-2983. D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and dial Dr. Kensing's number. </br>

<b>Result:</b> The call went through, but Dr. Kensing's phone did not ring. PoI-792 answered on the other line. See Incident_51-3_Log for further information</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary #1:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) I wonder if he has my cell number now. He seems happier this time around. Less stress for me. </br>

</div>

<details><summary>ATT: Incident_51-3_Documentation</summary>
<div class="blockquote">
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> PoI-792 ANSWERS — 14:00</strong> </div></br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> A zipper is audible </i> </div> </br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Welcome to the 25/7 Greazeburger Hotline, where yesterday’s bone is now suddenly in the zone! How can I help you? </br> </br>
<b> D-2983 </b> Uh… Hello? </br> </br>
<b> POI-792</b> Did you guys send another one green as a golf course? I'm not even on hours right now. I'm taking time out of my day to keep this shtick silky smooth and you guys are throwing glibbers in my machinery right now. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Kensing begins instructing D-2983 on what to say. </i> </div> </br>
<b> D-2983 </b> No, this is Kensing. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792</b> Wow… Skin sack through a skin sack, I'm impressed. Whaddya need buddy-pal?</br> </br>
<b> D-2983 </b> He wants to know what you are doing. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Another zipper is audible </i> </div> </br>
<b> POI-792</b> I'm relieving myself, looking at these charts I mean. I see beautiful numbers here, I'm quite proud of your guys's work. You've really stepped up just in time for monthly reports, you all should be proud. Now if you don't have anything important to say I'm going to have to hang up. Just remember, you can’t spell “Greaze” without “EZ”! </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> PoI-792 hangs up the call. </i> </div> </br>

<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
</div>
</details>

<div class="tt"> <b>Notice: </b>All data irrelevant to SCP-XXXX, or experiments containing hazourous information and materials have been removed or expunged, as per the Greazeburger Partnership Code, Privacy Policy, Section 19-E as well as the Greazeburger Partnership Code, Protection Policy, Section 14-B.</div>

<details><summary>ATT: February Monthly Report</summary>
<p id="devdo"></p>
<p id="devso"></p>
</details>

<div class="tt"> <strong>Relevant emails from <I>3/2-4/2/21:</i> </strong></div></br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Hey Dr. Kensing. Multiple researchers and I all were working on our monthly payment to Greaze nearly all day, but on my drive home I realized that we did both too much work and that none of it is remotely correct. This is incredibly concerning that all of us were incorrect. I know that I am not on the most secure connection currently but this is urgent. I'm on my way back to correct our errors.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; I'm back in, we were waaaaay off, we were basically robbing Greaze blind.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>RE: RE: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; I'm nearly out the door but I'm tired. I might've screwed up a little bit of subtraction. Can anyone still there fix it? It's plainly obvious, look on page 4.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>3/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Why am I getting 900 emails about extra pages being added to the work? What are you guys doing over there? I'll be in tomorrow. It's basic algebra.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Kensing. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh#tni.pcs.tig|skrdrh</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>4/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Ok, came in and got about another two-and-a-half pages done, It should be accurate now.

</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Kensing. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>4/2/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; Sorry I arrived late, but you all need to come outside. I'm standing by my car. Please hurry.
</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<details><summary>23784_2_4_AUDIO.mp3</summary>
<div class="blockquote">

<div class="tt">The following log was pulled with permission off of Junior Researcher Oscar's cellphone </div>
<div style="border-bottom:1px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> START — 8:54</strong> </div></br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Multiple people are shuffling around. </i> </div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Test, Test, alright. Uh names, titles, whatever, just go in a circle. I'll start. Junior Researcher Oscar. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> Doctor Ptacher. What are we doing?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Shhhhh. Next person. </br> </br>
<b> Hugh Vargas: </b> 51-Kappa MTFC Vargas.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Doctor Kensing, Head of Investigation Team. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Connor: </b> Doctor Connor. </br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Eric, I'm just a custodian. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Good. Uh, this should be enough. Nice variety. This is very important. I've brought some post-it notes with me.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> What the hell is going on?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> I'm very concerned with the emails, I read them all when I got home once again and nothing makes sense. I've got a post-it note with a reminder to check my car before going into work today, and that should hopefully work. I need everyone to follow me. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>Dr. Oscar can be heard walking closer to the entrance.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Think about the balance sheet guys? Isn't it weird how complicated this, stuff, is? What is four minus two?</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Uh, its two, sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Why can't we do simple subtraction on a piece of paper? It's a piece of paper? And most importantly—what are we all doing out here?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> You called us out here Doctor.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Yeah but I'm making a big fuss over nothing, aren't I. And we still have some more math to do, don't we?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Connor: </b> I guess you are right. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> You guys go on in, I'll be right there, I just need to go grab my wallet real quick, I left it in my car.</br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>The other noises grow distant for four seconds before Dr. Oscar shouts.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Guys! Come back! This is what I was talking about!</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> What! </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> It's like you forget how weird this all is when you get close enough. Why did I just accept everything and let you all go? I think I stopped the moment I realized this, I need you all to stand behind me.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Are you okay Doctor?</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> I've never been better, get behind me.</br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>The phone shifts as Dr. Oscar pulls something from his pocket.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Look, I've written two plus two equals four on a sticky note. Eric, hold this and take five steps forward.</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Now Eric. Look at the note.</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> Sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Tell me what you think.</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> It's a tad confusing, sir. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> What? It's just simple addition. Is it correct?</br> </br>
<b> Eric Johnson: </b> I'm not sure. </br> </br>
<b> Dr. Oscar: </b> Do you see this Ken? I think something is screwing with our paper. This is a logistical nightmare sir.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> This makes absolutely no sense. Let me try. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>Dr. Ptacher is heard walking to Eric.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Well, Ptacher, tell me about the note.</br> </br>
<b> Dr. Ptacher: </b> Pretty sure this is wrong, problem solved. Can we go in now. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";>Inaudible whispering, forty seconds pass.</div> </br>
<b> Dr. Kensing: </b> Everyone but Vargas can enter, but ANY numbers you guys are messing with need to be told to Vargas. It is imperative you do <I>not</i> argue with him. He's got a radio and a Pepsi, he just needs a TI-84 to check everything we do.</br> </br>

<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> Dr. Oscar ends the recording. </i> </div> </br>

<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
</div>
</details>
</br>
<div class="tt"><strong><i>4/2/21</i> Testing Proposals:</strong></div>
</br>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #7:</b> Make a D-Class ask Martin what the hell is going on.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 was instructed to pick up the telephone and dial "[phone]". Dr. Kensing is outside of the effective zone instructing D-2983 on what to say. </br>

<b>Result:</b> Martin Greaze answered on the other line. See Incident_51-4_Log for further information</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Damnit. </br>

</div>

<details><summary>ATT: Incident_51-4_Documentation</summary>
<div class="blockquote">
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px;"><strong> &ltBEGIN LOG&gt </strong></div></br>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div class="tt"> <strong> PoI-792 ANSWERS — 14:00</strong> </div></br>
<b> POI-792: </b> Welcome to the 25/7 Greazeburger Hotline, where yesterday’s <I>skin</i> has never <I>been</i> better! How can I help you? </br> </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> What the hell is going on? </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> I have no clue what's going on Jeffery. </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> D-2983 is audibly taken aback. </i> </div> </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> How did you… Uh, no I am still talking for Doctor Kensing. He is the one that wants to know what the hell is going on. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> I still have no clue what you are talking about.</br> </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> He says they know something's up and they, I mean he, wants to talk </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> Well, just put him on the phone. </br>
<b> D-2983: </b> He says he will not move any closer. He really would like to talk. </br> </br>
<b> POI-792:</b> Ah, well. I'm getting a call right now. Sorry, gotta go, important business things. Stop looking, caring, and keep up the great work. Remember, you can’t spell “Greaze” without “EZ”! </br> </br>
<div class="tt" style="padding: 0px 0px 0px 5px";> <I> PoI-792 hangs up the call. </i> </div> </br>

<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px; width=80%;"></div>
<div style="text-align: center; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;"><strong> &ltEND LOG&gt </strong></div>
</div>
</details>

</br>
<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #8:</b> Find the effective perimeter.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> Store was cleared 'for construction'. Researchers spent three (3) days cross-checking simple mathematics with MTFC Vargas around the Miami Walmart Supercenter.</br>

<b>Result:</b> Epicenter of anomaly determined to be the telephone. Effective radius is approximately 50m.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) All mathematics must be done outside this perimeter. A new foundation front is underway to house Kappa-52, created for double-checking our work. </br>
</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #9:</b> Destroy SCP-XXXX.

<div style="color: #bd4d37; border: 1px solid #bd4d37; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #e6bab3;"> <b> DENIED </b> </div></br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Please reread the logo on your ID. We are required to be diplomatic. </br>
</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #10:</b> Test machines.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> A standard TI-84 was tested against MTFC Vargas offsite. </br>

<b>Result:</b> All answers provided by the standard TI-84 were larger than MTFC Vargas's answers.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Dr. Ptacher:) Very interesting, but expected. Updated file. </br>
</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #11:</b> Move SCP-XXXX.

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> D-2983 moved SCP-XXXX one (1) foot to the left. </br>

<b>Result:</b> No change observed in perimeter.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (Dr. Ptacher:) Very interesting. I have one last idea. </br>

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #12:</b> Destroy SCP-XXXX. </br>

<b>Researcher Pre-commentary:</b> (Dr. Ptacher:) Look, I'm sure if Greaze didn't want this thing to be destroyed we won't be able to destroy it. It doesn't even control the damn radius. Let me destroy it for Christ's sake. </br>

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<b>Actions Taken:</b> Dr. Ptacher damaged and destroyed SCP-XXXX in several ways. </br>

<b>Result:</b> SCP-XXXX rematerialized after complete destruction. Description updated to match Ptacher's recent tests.</br>

<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) There must be reality bend in this area. Keep everything closed and the radius clear. A Scranton Reality Anchor will shortly be in place. </br>

</div>
</br>

<div class="blockquote mailtext" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Proposal #13:</b> Bring a Scranton Reality Anchor on site

<div style="color: green; border: 1px solid green; text-align: center; margin: 5px; background-color: #ceedd1;"> <b> APPROVED </b> </div></br>

<div style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Actions Taken:</b> Dr. Oscar and Dr. Kensing attempted to bring a SRA to SCP-XXXX </br>
</div>

<div style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Result:</b> The Scranton Reality Anchor malfunctioned upon crossing the perimeter. A small explosion occurred. Dr. Kensing sustained minor injuries (a fractured tibia, bruising above his left eye, and various small lacerations). Dr. Oscar sustained major injuries (including a broken arm, multiple lacerations and abrasions, a dislocated shoulder, and a short temporal dislocation). </br> &emsp; Dr. Kensing and Dr. Oscar were moved into the infirmary, and Dr. Oscar was administered Class B Amnestetics upon return of basic cognitive functioning. After one week of administrative leave for Dr. Kensing, and two weeks of infirmary stay for Dr. Oscar, both returned to their former positions on Greazeburger's Investigation Team.</br>
</div>

<div style="padding-bottom: 5px;">
<b>Researcher Commentary:</b> (HRs. Dr. Kensing) Turns out this thing really bends all math. Probably messes with the laws of mathematics themselves. Also turns out most machines run on math. I take full responsibility for this mistake and have updated the description of SCP-XXXX to reflect this test result. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<b> Addendum SCP-XXXX-2: </b> </br> </br>

<div class="mail">
<table id="t01">
<tr>
<th>From:</th>
<td><div style="color:red;">tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj#tni.pcs.tig|hihohordrj</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>To:</th>
<td><div style="color: #080080;">G.I.T. Investigation Team (Group)</div></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Subject:</th>
<td>FORUM SUBJECT: Balance Sheet and Payments for March</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<th>Date:</th>
<td>2/3/2021</td>
</tr>
</table>
<div style="border-bottom:2px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>
<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6;">

&emsp; I'm finally healthy and catching up on what I need to know but don't remember. Thank you all for the cards and nice words—made my stay 103 times better. It is nice to be back at my desk wearing these tacky Wal-Mart vests though. </br> &emsp; I am just sending this email to tell you all that I found some math errors while looking at the attached image for March's balance sheets. It was a bit under ⅖ and don't wanna cheap out on them and cause something terrible, so I spent all day yesterday correcting them before I updated the image and sent the owed money to Greazeburger's Incorporated.
</div>
<div style="border-bottom:3px solid #777; margin-bottom:1px;"></div>

<div style="padding: 4px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px;">
Dr. Oscar. </br>
</div>
</div>
</br>

<!— this is the end OF THE FUCKING DOCUMENT PLEASE DONT PUT ANY PAGE CONTENT AFTER —>
<div id="footers">
</div>

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<p>SCP-XXXX <span class="footnote" style="font-weight: normal; !important"> Dr. Oscar was told to "stand about twice as far away from the phone" before taking the picture. He was less than a meter away originally. </span> (circled in red)</p>
</div>
`
const imageBlockB = document.getElementById("devso");
imageBlockB.classList.add("scp-image-block", "block-center")
imageBlockB.innerHTML = `
<img src="http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/local--files/ohohihmain/badmath2.png">
<div class="scp-image-caption">
<p>Page 2/8 of work stapled to back</p>
</div>
`
const imageBlockA = document.getElementById("devdo");
imageBlockA.classList.add("scp-image-block", "block-center")
imageBlockA.innerHTML = `
<img src="http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/local--files/ohohihmain/bal">
<div class="scp-image-caption">
<p>Montly Monetary Report</p>
</div>
`
more footnotes
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</body>
</html>
[[/html]]

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

The ListPages module does not work recursively.

For more information, see Licensing Guide.
Licensing Disclosures

Filename: mart.jpg
Name: "Walmart"
Author: JeepersMedia
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/6ceede95-3346-4cc4-8ade-5fa67e05170b

Filename: phone.png
Name: "Emptiness as Wal-Mart Closes Shop"
Author: Robert Stinnett
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/ffb66756-941a-4810-ace1-7aad17c2b794
Additional Notes: This image was the base of an edited image, following image was used as a second source, all other differences were done by me in GIMP.

Name: "Phone"
Author: Justin Brockie
License: CC BY 2.0
Source Link: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/210aabae-0c3b-442a-9596-c5785526e307
Additional Notes: The tiny phone in phone.png is this phone

For more information about on-wiki content, visit the Licensing Master List.

SCP-XXXX-J

SCP-XXXX-J on Dr.Thomas' desk

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is a textbook labeled "The Princeton Companion to Mathematics". It is stored in the library of Site-45 on a very nice shelf that Dr. Thomas asked for, containing several other books Dr. Thomas needed to understand SCP-XXXX-J. All Foundation researchers are encouraged to read this amazing book. Simplified texts based on SCP-XXXX-J are to be supplied to various levels of education in America. Pipe smoking is to be banned to minimize hazards.

Description: The book is an anti-cognitohazard. Anomalous properties upon extended study include increased scores on IQ tests, higher chance of promotion and increased pay, reduced physical attraction upon extended communication with potential love interests, higher chance of developing a tobacco habit (manifests as pipe smoking in most cases), and increased ego.

Its contents are not dissimilar from any other math textbook. It is currently unknown how these anomalous properties manifest in each patient, as full manifestation can take years. All tests into the source of these properties yield inconclusive.

Research Logs:
Testing began with a single page:

+ SHOW ANTI-COGNITOHAZARD

Page of SCP-XXXX-J

Interviewed: D-1865

Interviewer: Jr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after three days of D-1865's exposure to one page of SCP-XXXX-J. D-1865 was given problems from Dr. Jefferson's son's 11th-grade algebra homework.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: How are you feeling D-1865?

D-1865: I'm alright.

Dr. Jefferson: How are you handling the page?

D-1865: Y'know, I kinda remember this stuff. Though this triangle stuff on the worksheet is quite confusing. I don't think the page you gave me covers it.

Dr. Jefferson: Ah, well you see—

Dr. Jefferson gestures a sine wave in the air with his pointer.

Dr. Jefferson: That's a sine wave, which is just a normal wave—if it makes sense you can think of a circle rolling on a line.

Dr. Jefferson grabs a piece of paper and draws a circle on a line.

Dr. Jefferson: And you pick a point and follow it as it rolls and—

D-1865: Where is the triangle?

Dr. Jefferson: Well, you put a triangle in the circle and as the circle rolls, the height from the point to the line is sine.

D-1865: I'm not sure I'm following…

[20 minutes of repetitive explanations omitted for brevity]

D-1865 is satisfied with his understanding and asks to be dismissed in time for lunch. Dr. Jeffersons allows D-1865 to leave but assigns D-1865 some homework, stressing tomorrow's due date.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: D-1865 was able to complete the homework assignment, missing only one question (but it was a particularly complex secant function so Dr. Jefferson's counted it as missed bonus points). Another homework assignment was assigned, but D-1865 was killed in a different SCP test before it was able to be completed. On his way to the infirmary, D-1865 was able to predict the time of his death with an error of two minutes using a trigonometric dampening function to simulate his blood loss. Dr. Jefferson was promoted to Senior Researcher following this display of mathematical prowess.

Testing with the full book was approved on D-2937. Additionally, supplemental works may be provided if requested by test subjects.

---

Interviewed: D-2937

Interviewer: Sr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after two weeks of D-2937's exposure to SCP-XXXX-J

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: How are you feeling D-2937?

D-2937: My head is killing me, I don't know what the fuck any of this means.

Dr. Jefferson: What do you mean?

D-2937: What the fuck is a derivative, Doctor?

Dr. Jefferson: Ah… Well, that's tough to explain.

Dr. Jefferson shifts in his seat, the room is silent for around 20 seconds.

Dr. Jefferson: Do you know what a function is?

D-2937: No.

Dr. Jefferson mutters an explicative under his breath.

[40 minutes of explanation omitted for brevity.]

D-2937: Oh, I think I get it now.

Dr. Jefferson: Good.

D-2937: So what's an integral?

Dr. Jefferson: I'll drop off some more books

Dr. Jefferson quickly leaves.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: After receiving additional books, D-2937 requested several pieces of scratch paper and pre-sharpened #2 pencils.

Interviewed: D-2937

Interviewer: Sr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after six weeks of D-2937's constant exposure to SCP-XXXX-J, along with various other requested writings.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: How are you feeling today D-2937?

D-2937: Look at this Doctor!

D-2937 leaps out of his seat holding several pieces of paper.

Dr. Jefferson: Novel. Unfortunately, the cubic formula has been discovered already.

D-2937: Ah that's stupid.

Dr. Jefferson: I do like your use of spherical topology though. Very inventive.

D-2937: Ah thanks, that dumb cluttered topology textbook was actually quite useful.

Dr. Jefferson: Interesting. Anything else?

D-2937: Uh yeah, do you have anything that needs solving?

Dr. Jefferson: Ill check.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: D-2937 asked for more books on various topics (some not related to math). D-2937 asked to devise the maximum sized sofa that could fit in a 1x1 meter hallway corner in a separate wing of Site-45¹

Interviewed: D-2937

Interviewer: Sr. Researcher Dr. Jefferson

Foreword: Interview after three months of D-2937's constant exposure to SCP-XXXX-J.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Jefferson: Did you come up with anything D-2937?

D-2937: Yeah, I got 2.2197m.

Dr. Jefferson grabs D-2937's proof and looks at it incredibly carefully.

Dr. Jefferson: Topographical genius.

D-2937: Really?

Dr. Jefferson: How did you come up with this?

D-2937: Just tinkered around with numbers and such. Like the books explain.

Dr. Jefferson: Wow. Have you considered architecture as a career path?

D-2937: No not really, I've been sitting behind bars for a while.

Dr. Jefferson: I may just contact my superiors. Have a good day Thomas.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Under supervision, D-2937 was promoted to the rank of Junior Researcher—specializing in containment and transport.

Dr. Thomas showed me this proof that God is a bitch. Brilliant.

Dr. Thomas pictured lecturing on reflections of psionic radiation

Addendum:

Dr. Thomas has proposed picking prospective researchers using SCP-XXXX-J.

Though some D-Class are entirely unresponsive to SCP-XXXX-J exposure, many show varying degrees of positive responses to SCP-XXXX-J's anti-congitohazardous properties.

So far, Dr. Thomas has been the most responsive to these effects. He has taken on many projects—requiring large amounts of Foundation funding. Unfortunately, he cannot provide much out of pocket, as a large portion of his salary goes to organic tobacco and his ever-growing tobacco pipe collection.

But you have to admit, they look pretty sick:

Footnotes

1. There is no such hallway, this is an unsolved mathematics problem.

Links

COLAB:
SCP SITE:
GOC SITE:

MONEY SKIP:
empty parent
main SCP
updated SCP
narrative

Wow! You flipped a card and got: cole's parawatch!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 20:22

Usage

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electricspookalo 3/01/2017 (Mon) 00:30:18 #83759875

---

Guys, I'm kinda scared.

Stingywaffle Month/Day/Year (Mon) 00:32:27 #17356985

---

What happened? Are you ok?

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Brooje!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 17:23

Draft 1: Spaghetti Factory

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Archon

Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-XXXX is possible via enclosure of SCP-XXXX-A instances, albeit attempts to contain it are theorized result in worldwide economic decline. Disinformation campaigns are to be directed to prevent public knowledge of SCP-XXXX's existence.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon by which gateways to an alternate reality, denoted as SCP-XXXX-A, are created. There is theorized to be exactly one gateway on each distinct landmass on Earth. Exploration of the gateways has always demonstrated the alternate reality to be a single arctic landmass of unknown size. The terrain of the land is largely covered in conveyors. While neither end of a conveyor has been seen, the majority of conveyors have a constant supply of non-anomalous objects traveling along them. The mass of conveyors has no observable end or beginning.

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: SCP-5179!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 17:13

First Photo of SCP-5179

Item #: SCP-5179

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Because of SCP-5179 place and location we are unable to contain SCP-5179but we are able to slow its repair. We can send missiles to SCP-5179 to destroy it but as of now our missiles are getting destroyed by SCP-5179.

Description: SCP-5179 is a large space station about 3 thousand light years from earth. SCP-5179 was discovered in 1989. Now SCP-5179 is in no way related to SCP-2399 they both have weapons yes! But SCP-2399 has antimatter based weapons while SCP-5179 has an unknown type of laser weapon. These types of laser weapons which were detected using a thermal camera have reached the maximum temperature of 13,000 kelvin. When it last shot its laser it had gotten damaged by the debris of the planet. Once it reaches a minimum of 65% completion it will shoot at the earth causing a XK-Class end of the world scenario. The last thing we know is that SCP-5179 has turrets on it. We know this because after we sent a couple missiles at SCP-5179. After a while the turrets had started to get more intelligent and started to shoot at our missiles making shooting at it useless. We still don't know how to stop its repair because our missiles keep getting shot at. Our high rank teams are researching a way to make it so our missiles won't get noticed by SCP-5179 turrets. Our research team will update the article as more information comes out.

Addendum: SCP-5179-A The following is a report of the first discovery of SCP-5179

+ Discovery Date 7/12/89

Agent. Robert: You're not worried about this planet are you?

Dr. Bright: Yeah it does have everything for life but it's just microorganisms.

Agent. Robert: Ok yeah you're right! There's no need to worry.

Dr. Bright: Wait what's that?

Agent. Robert: What's what?

Dr. Bright: That bright light in the corner!

Agent. Robert: Yeah what is tha- HOLY SHIT

Dr. Bright: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE PLANET!

Agent. Robert: I don't know but look over there!

Dr. Bright: What the heck is that?

Agent. Robert: I don't know but it does look dangerous!

Dr. Bright: Jesus. I must show this to the O5 council!

Agent. Robert: Yeah you're right Dr. Bright.
*end of recording*

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Its in your walls!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 16:19

2/XXXX LEVEL 2/XXXX CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-XXXX Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:
Reports of electrical short-outs in the city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin area are to be monitored by the foundation. If these reports become more frequent, demolition of the building is necessary. The building should be demolished with fire to confirm a neutralization of an SCP-XXXX instance.

Description:
SCP-XXXX is a humanoid entity entirely comprised of shaven plywood and termite droppings. Given the mass of termite droppings and the shaven plywood that are components of SCP-XXXX, foundation researchers assume that this is an anomaly created by termites themselves. An instance of SCP-XXXX resides inside the walls of a 2 story building. SCP-XXXX travels leaving a trail of split and frayed wires, causing electrical short-outs. It is not known if SCP-XXXX purposefully represents any danger to the inhabitants of the building, but the outages regularly lead to loss of heat and the loss of air conditioning.

SCP-XXXX always resides in the walls of a building alone. These instances do not require and sustenance to the foundation's knowledge, but a 3-5 hour resting period each day is a pattern that is recorded in each instance.

Addendum XXXX.1:
the following is a email chain intercepted by the foundation.

---

Access SCiPNET Email? One (1) new message!

To: @wischomesales
From: @nedin2017
Subject: Bad house

---

Hello. Did you just sell a house to a person by the name of Ned last week?

To: @nedin2017
From: @wischomesales
Subject: Re:Bad house

---

I believe so. What's your issue?

To: @wischomesales
From: @nedin2017
Subject: Re:Bad house

---

What is wrong with you? We are experiencing many problems including, the electricity going out (we do not have a backup generator yet) and a horrible stench we cannot get out even with air freshener. There is a shuttering noise coming from the vents and I have no idea what it is at all! My family is scared.

To: @nedin2017
From: @wischomesales
Subject: Re:Bad house

---

Wow. We can assure you that we have nothing to do with this and that the house was in top condition when we sold it to you. If you have a problem, sell the house again yourself.

Request: Demolition of the house by fire
Status: Approved

[[footnoteblock]]

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Dr Thorperian!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 14:22
Wow! You flipped a card and got: stanusbeki!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 07:38

Wechselbalg

Description:
SCP-XXXX is a cluster of psychoparasitic entities specialized on the emotional spectrum engendered in humans by offspring. SCP-XXXX has to date only been observed to infest hosts with currently living biological children under the age of six.

Approximately two hours after initial exposure, infected hosts (designated SCP-XXXX-B) will begin to experience cognitive overlay stemming from SCP-XXXX's cognitomanipulative properties. Specifically, hosts will no longer react to sensory stimuly generated by the host's offspring, causing these to subsequently expire due to neglect. Simultaneously, the subject will manifest recollections of alternate offspring of a similar age.

Within the following one to four hours, these recollections increase in complexity and detail, encompassing a consistent narrative pertaining to the alternate offspring's biography and the subject's previous interaction with it.

After the passage of a further two to six hours, instances of SCP-XXXX-B will begin to experience the persistent hallucination of a child matching the aforementioned recollections, designated SCP-XXXX-A. The subject will then procede to display nurturing behavior towards SCP-XXXX-A, consistent with the entity's apparent age.

Further individuals remaining within an approximately twelve meter radius around an instance of SCP-XXXX-B for a duration longer than on average seventeen minutes will commence to experience matching hallucinations of SCP-XXXX-A. Furthermore, if the individual is aware of the biography of the instance of SCP-XXXX-B, the individual will recall the instance of SCP-XXXX-A as being the subject's natural offspring.

Over the course of four to eight weeks, the subject of infection will significantly physically deteriorate. Body fat and muscle tissue will rapidly degenerate, leading to an emaciated appearance. This process is not influenced by the subject's metabolism or caloric intake and inevitably concludes with the expiration of SCP-XXXX-B.

Upon expiration of SCP-XXXX-B, SCP-XXXX will either seek out an additional host or dissipate. It is assumed that in the event of dissipation, SCP-XXXX returns to a currently undiscovered focal point of the phenomenon, designated SCP-XXXX-C. Attempts to locate and contain SCP-XXXX-C have so far been met with failure.

Procedure 103-BORTBYTING:

The containment procedures in place regarding SCP-XXXX were derived through experimentation based upon elements of West Germanic folklore prevalent within the region of SCP-XXXX's discovery. Avenues of containment based upon analogous folklore found within Celtic, Slavic and Igbo mythological frameworks have been explored but deemed ineffective. However, elements of traditional North Germanic/Scandinavian remedies for similar phenomena have proven to be partially effective and have been incorporated into procedure 103-BORTBYTING.

Due to the nature of procedure 103-BORTBYTING, continued administration in order to forestall SCP-XXXX's progression is currently under review by the Ethics Committee. Until such a time as a decision on the matter is reached, procedure 103-BORTBYTING will remain in use as the primary method of containment for all known instances of SCP-XXXX-B by order of O5-[REDACTED].

While procedure 103-BORTBYTING is effective in demanifesting instances of SCP-XXXX-A, the effect is permanent only in cases in which the procedure is perfomed by the affected instance of SCP-XXXX-B. While procedure 103-BORTBYTING is temporarily effective in demanifesting SCP-XXXX-A and halting SCP-XXXX's adverse effects upon SCP-XXXX-B when performed by a third party, SCP-XXXX-A will remanifest within a forty-eight hour period. Therefore, instances of SCP-XXXX-B which cannot be persuaded to perform procedure 103-BORTBYTING are to remain in containment with procedure 103-BORTBYTING being administered by class-D personnel on a regular basis.

Foundation personnel have achieved varying degrees of success when attempting to induce compliance with procedure 103-BORTBYTING in affected individuals. While results suggest a link to cultural predisposition and educational background, the deciding factor seems to be the individual in question.

To date, six instances of SCP-XXXX-B have been identified and contained.

Name	Description	Status
SCP-XXXX-B-1	Male, aged 27. Agricultural employee. Among the original instances of SCP-XXXX-B apprehended by Foundation operatives.	Non-compliant. Self-terminated after eleven months in containment.
SCP-XXXX-B-2	Female, aged 72. Retiree. Among the original instances of SCP-XXXX-B apprehended by Foundation operatives. At the time of infestation, SCP-XXXX-B-2 was caring for a grandchild. This is the only known instance of SCP-XXXX not displacing a subject's direct offspring.	Subject displayed knowledge of the "wechselbalg"-myth, as well as a propensity for belief in regional folklore. Subject eventually compliant with procedure 103-BORTBYTING. Issued amnestics and relocated.
SCP-XXXX-B-3	Female, aged 32. Agricultural employee. Among the original instances of SCP-XXXX-B apprehended by Foundation operatives.	Non-compliant. Currently in containment.
SCP-XXXX-B-4	Male, aged 41. State police kommissar. Infested during police investigation of initial outbreak. Apprehended during concealment operation by MTF-777.	Non-compliant. Currently in containment.
SCP-XXXX-B-5	Male, aged 22. Logging employee. Discovered during concealment operation by MTF-777.	Subject displayed affinity towards cryptozoological pursuits. Subject eventually compliant with procedure 103-BORTBYTING. Issued amnestics and relocated.
SCP-XXXX-B-6	Female, aged 31. Site-06-03 security guard. Infected during the events following SCP-XXXX-B-1's self-termination.	While SCP-XXXX-B-6 is aware of the nature of SCP-XXXX, subject remains non-compliant. Subject presents a unique opportunity for the study of SCP-XXXX's cognitomanipulative effects (see Appendix A).

Appendix A - Interview transcript IVT-XXXX-01

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT IVT-XXXX-01

---

DATE: 03-06-2020
NOTE: Interview conducted by Doctor Hannah Rubin, research assistant at Site-06-03 HUMCON.

---

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

---

[END TRANSCRIPT]

The Stranger

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be contained within the roughly 6m x 3m x 2m chamber which has replaced humanoid containment chamber HC-XXXX by virtue of SCP-XXXX's primary anomalous effect.

No Foundation personnel are to approach the chamber's entrance closer than nine meters. Items delivered to SCP-XXXX (i.e. basic sustenance, sanitary supplies etc.) are to be delivered via the installed automated trolley system.

Description:
SCP-XXXX is a human female, aged 36. Prior to incident IN-XXXX-01, the subject's designation was Doctor Hillary Weaver, posted at the Suspected Anomalous Materials Analysis Division (SAMAD) at Site-81.

The subject's primary anomalous quality is the periodic alteration of its immediate surroundings. The radius of these changes is not consistent and has been observed to fluctuate between one and seven meters. While the deployment of Scranton Reality Anchors has proven ineffective, the primary anomalous effects of SCP-XXXX appear not to manifest within the same area on multiple occasions. Therefore, in the aftermath of incident IN-XXXX-02, SCP-XXXX was not relocated to a standard humanoid containment cell.

While locations previously affected by SCP-XXXX do not appear to be altered repeatedly, individual items have been observed to materialize within SCP-XXXX's vicinity. In addition, objects transferred to the immediate vicinity of SCP-XXXX (including Foundation personnel) subsequent to an alteration, have sporadically ceased to exist. Aetheric Resonance Imaging has consistently shown no levels of Aspect Radiation above the accepted one hundred Casper background radiation baseline during these events.

Cognitive testing of SCP-XXXX has established no impairment of cognitive function with the exception of the dissociative issues speculated to be linked to SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties. Specifically, no indications of cerebral atrophy or cerebrovascular damage have been detected.

Despite detailed analysis of available data, including detailed medical and thaumaturgical scans of SCP-XXXX as well as materials analysis of the locations of incidents IN-XXXX-01 and IN-XXXX-02, no plausible hypothesis explaining the onset or nature of SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties has as yet been put forth. While SCP-XXXX itself has produced an explanation (see interview transcript IVT-XXXX-05) of the events, inconsistencies between SCP-XXXX's narrative and the observed properties of other Type Green entities would seem to indicate the provided explanation to most likely be a result of the subject's established dissociative/confabulative episodes.

Prior to the initial manifestation of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects during incident IN-XXXX-01, the subject had sought medical assistance at Site-81's medical wing. Transcripts of interviews performed by Site-81 personnel, as well as relevant incident reports, are attached to this file.

Appendix A - Interview transcripts prior to incident IN-XXXX-01

Appendix A - Interview transcripts prior to incident IN-XXXX-01

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT IVT-XXXX-01

---

DATE: 01-03-2019

NOTE: Interview conducted by Doctor Roberta Ibanez, Site-81 general practitioner

---

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Dr. Ibanez: Hi, Hill! So, what seems to be the problem?

SCP-XXXX: I dunno.. it's… kinda hard to explain. I've been having this feeling that things are… off. Like yesterday I was in the mess hall with Murat and Stefan, and things seemed… different. Like maybe the maintenance crews had changed the paint job or something. You know, like when someone shaves their beard or has a new haircut and it takes you forever to notice? This feeling that something is different but you just can't put your finger on it.

Dr. Ibanez: Huh. Well, as far as I know there haven't been any changes to the mess recently. You know what, it's probably just stress-related, with all those new potential anomalies Zeta-9 brought in from that op last week. I hear Blanchard is running you ragged over at SAMAD.

SCP-XXXX: It might. Could you take a look anyway, though? It's just really weird and having somebody tell me everything is fine would help.

Dr. Ibanez: Tell you what: I'll write you up for light duty next week. You give yourself a break and take it a little slower. If weirdness persists, I'll run a full diagnosis the following Monday. Speaking of weirdness: How did your date with that guy from SITESEC go? Does he really never blink?

SCP-XXXX: *groans* Oh god… don't get me started…

[ 14 MINUTES OF EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE OMITTED]

---

[END TRANSCRIPT]

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT IVT-XXXX-02

---

DATE: 17-03-2019

---

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Dr. Ibanez: Commencing interview of patient Doctor Hillary Weaver, currently posted to SAMAD at Site-81. Interview being conducted by Dr. Roberta Ibanez, science staff general practitioner at Site-81 medical. Okay Hill, repeat what you just told me.

SCP-XXXX: It's my quarters. They've changed. Or… it feels like they've changed. It's not just that they're supposed to be in Gamma Annex, not in Epsilon. It's my stuff to. Like that picture of us from Mei's retirement party? I vividly remember us being at Francois's. But that picture… I've never seen that place it was taken in.

Dr. Ibanez: Have you had any other instances of places seeming unfamiliar?

SCP-XXXX:: Well… now that you mention it: The other day I was trying to get to HR from SAMAD. You know, to get my HD-237? I could have sworn that corridor off of Beta Containment led to HR. But I ended up near the vehicle hangars. I wrote it off as my typical scatter-mindedness, but the more I think about it, the surer I am that hallway has always connected to HR.

[ 12 MINUTES OF EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE OMITTED]

SCP-XXXX voices further distress about perceived changes to Site-81 architecture and personal effects. Dr. Ibanez schedules an appointment for neurological testing.

---

NOTE: Subject's recollection of events and locations appears compromised. Suspected neurodegenerative disorder. Subject subsequently remanded to neurological staff for detailed diagnosis.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT IVT-XXXX-03

---

DATE: 28-03-2019

---

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

SCP-XXXX: I don't know how often you want me to repeat myself, Bobby! They're gone!

Dr. Ibanez: Who's gone, Hill?

SCP-XXXX: My family, god damn it! Frank, Lilly, little Evan! They're fucking gone!

Dr. Ibanez: I understand this is difficult. But could you please explain where they have gone?

SCP-XXXX: It's not that they've gone somewhere. They're just flat gone! And it's not just them. Every trace of them is missing: The pictures of them on my desk, the chat logs on my cell… It's like… like… somebody has removed all traces of them. And now you nimwits claim there's no mention of any of them in my file! You're saying I'm crazy…

Dr. Ibanez: Hill, we've known each other for what, nine years now? I… you… you've never mentioned being married before.

SCP-XXXX: What?! Bobby, you've met Frank! We had fucking dinner together last year! Lilly got ice cream on your blouse!

[ 17 MINUTES OF EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE OMITTED]

SCP-XXXX: Dementia doesn't work like that. I read up on it after our last session. It's got to be something else.

Dr. Ibanez: Like what, Hill?

SCP-XXXX: Like one of the artifacts. Over at SAMAD. I mean, seriously, we handle potentially anomalous materials every day. It's only a matter of time before we inadvertently set off something nasty.

Dr. Ibanez: Did you or your team discover anomalous properties in any of the items you examined lately?

SCP-XXXX: Well, no. But that doesn't mean none of them had any. We've missed things before, you know.

[ 12 MINUTES OF EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE OMITTED]

SCP-XXXX is insistent that the onset of dissociative episodes is caused by heretofore undiscovered anomalous properties of one or more items analyzed by SAMAD.

---

[END TRANSCRIPT]

NOTE: Subject shows major confabulation pertaining to autobiographic facts in addition to previous symptoms. However, neurological test suite Sigma-2 administered by Doctor Ibanez and Doctor Vasilij Korsakov show no signs of cerebral atrophy or related ailments. Site-81 medical staff urgently suggests transfer of patient to dedicated neuromedical facility at Site-19.

ADDENDUM: Subsequent re-analysis of all items processed by SAMAD between 01-02-2019 and 01-03-2019 has failed to uncover any previously hidden anomalous attributes.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT IVT-XXXX-04

---

DATE: 12-04-2019

NOTE: Patient is currently detained at Site-81 medical.

---

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

SCP-XXXX: Listen to me: I'm not crazy! I know what's causing it! The translation came back from Site-91! Let me out of here so I can stop it!

Dr. Ibanez: I'm sorry, Hill. We have to keep you here for your own safety. Vassja has put in an urgent transfer request to Site-19. He says they'll be able to help you there.

SCP-XXXX: Ungh.. why am I even talking to you? Let me speak to Doctor Fredricks!

Dr. Ibanez: I'm sorry, who?

SCP-XXXX: Doctor Sonequa Fredricks? My physician? The one treating me until now? A competent doctor in contrast to you?

Dr. Ibanez: Hill… I.. I've been treating you. Together with Vassja.

SCP-XXXX: What?! I've never seen you before in my life.

Dr. Ibanez: Hill it's me.. Bobby…

SCP-XXXX: Oh my god. You mean she's… oh god.

---

[END TRANSCRIPT]

NOTE: In addition to the serious confabulation shown previously, patient now exhibits dissociative symptoms pertaining to recollection of Site-81 personnel. Doctors Ibanez and Korsakov urgently request immediate priority transfer of patient to specialized facility at Site-19, regardless of current occupancy.

ADDENDUM: Site-81 personnel files show a Doctor Fredricks is not currently posted at Site-81. However, a Doctor Sonequa Fredricks has been posted at Site-76 SITEMED since 01-08-2010. Doctor Fredricks has been contacted and claims no recollection of patient.

Appendix B - Incident reports IN-XXXX-01, IN-XXXX-02

Appendix B - Incident reports IN-XXXX-01, IN-XXXX-02

INCIDENT REPORT IN-XXXX-01

---

DATE: 14-04-2019
FILED BY: Captain Tariq Kassad, Site-81 Security Division (SITESEC)

---

At 23:41 on 12-04-2019, SITESEC received a code brown alert from SITEMED. It was reported that Patient Hillary Weaver had escaped confinement to SITEMED and injured medical technician Hamada Ichiro in the process. Doctor Weaver was described by SITEMED staff as mentally unstable and potentially dangerous. Intelligence gathered from previous statements by Doctor Weaver indicated the non-anomalous artifacts depot at SAMAD as a likely objective. SITESEC issued code brown for SAMAD, SITEMED as well as annexes Gamma through Epsilon. At 00:13 on 13-04-2019, Corporal G. Eisenmann and Private L. Svenson located Doctor Weaver within the Gamma Annex gymnasium. Corporal Eisenmann reported Doctor Weaver as prone, within a circular area of ceramic flooring, which had apparently replaced the EPDM flooring in that part of the gymnasium. Doctor Weaver was in considerable emotional distress and did not resist apprehension by SITESEC. Doctor Weaver has been detained within the SITESEC brig, pending investigation of the incident.

---

ADDENDUM (15-04-2019): Analysis of the anomalous flooring within the Gamma Annex gymnasium has revealed it to consist of standard P27 high endurance tiling, used extensively at Site-87 within SAMAD and MTF deployment bays.

ADDENDUM (16-04-2019): While the evaluation of Doctor Weaver's account of events concerning incident IN-XXXX-01 is currently pending, it has been determined that she is likely the focus of a hitherto unknown anomalous phenomenon. Doctor Weaver is reclassified as SCP-XXXX and has been scheduled for transport to Site-06-03 for containment and further analysis.

INCIDENT REPORT IN-XXXX-02

---

DATE: 12-05-2019
FILED BY: Doctor Hannah Rubin, Site-06-03 Humanoid Containment and Research Division (HUMCON)

---

At 09:41 on 11-05-2019, live video feed from containment chamber HC-XXXX was lost. Subsequent investigation by class-D personnel revealed the containment door to apparently have been cut off from Site-06-03's power supply. It was later determined that the electrical and fiber-optic conduits within two meters of the door had apparently "moved" vertically by approximately twenty-five centimeters. After conduit reconnection, live video feed was restored. Several anomalies have been observed within SCP-XXXX's containment chamber, the most notable being:

• Increase of the chamber's width by approximately fifty centimeters
• Inversion of the placement of bunk and toilet
• Appearance of a bookshelf containing several paperback books. Based on visible titles, the books are presumed to encompass: "The Forever War" by Joe Haldeman, "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert A. Heinlein and "Robinson Crusoe" by Daniel Defoe.

SCP-XXXX appears oblivious to any alteration of its surroundings. However, the subject seems aware of anomalous activity. After restoration of video and audio feeds, audio feed transmitted the following: "It happened again, huh? Thanks for getting the light back on. It's kinda hard to read in the dark."

---

ADDENDUM: Permission to enter HC-XXXX in order to sample anomalous items and materials has been requested. Approval by Lead Researcher Hammerschmitt currently pending.

ADDENDUM: Deployed Scranton Reality Anchors deemed ineffective on SCP-XXXX's anomalous characteristics. Decommissioning and return to Site-06-03 equipment depot have been scheduled for 15-05-2019. - Containment Technician C. Ramirez

Appendix C - Interview transcript IVT-XXXX-05

Appendix C - Interview transcript IVT-XXXX-05

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT IVT-XXXX-05

---

DATE: 15-05-2019

NOTE: Interview conducted by Doctor Hannah Rubin, research assistant at Site-06-03 HUMCON. In accordance with containment procedures, Doctor Rubin was not physically present within SCP-XXXX's containment chamber. The interview was conducted via HC-XXXX's internal comms system.

---

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Dr. Rubin: Hello, Doctor Weaver. If you don't mind, I have a few questions for you.

SCP-XXXX: Well, it's not like I have anything better to do. Even if it still is a bit weird talking to a voice from thin air.

Dr. Rubin: I understand. However, considering your… condition, we have determined it to be best for me not to enter your quarters.

SCP-XXXX: *snorts* Quarters? Is that what you're calling it? Nevermind… how can I help you?

Dr. Rubin: I would like to hear your account of events leading up to incident IN-XXXX-01.

SCP-XXXX: "Incident IN-XXXX-01"? You're talking about the time I smacked that medical tech over the head with a flower pot and headed off to the NAAD? (Note by Dr. Rubin: The non-anomalous artifacts depot at Site-81)

Dr. Rubin: The incident report states you were found in a gymnasium.

SCP-XXXX: *sighs* I was. Well, I've lost count of how many times I've told this story, but why not. It started off when the Zetas (Note by Dr. Rubin: MTF Zeta-9 "Mole Rats") brought in that metric crapton of potentially anomalous artifacts from that op in Chiapas. You know, that pyramid where those deranged cultists were trying to summon Quetzalcoatl? Anyways, it was mostly junk.

Then I opened up another crate and there it was. PAA-35927. That number. I've handled hundreds of potential anomalies, and not one of the numbers stuck. Not even my first one, that silly little doll from New Orleans. But that one, PAA-35927, I'll remember that number until the day I die.

Dr. Rubin: What was it? Can you describe the artifact?

SCP-XXXX: A stone tablet. Circular. Kind of like one of their calendars. You know, the ones everyone got so crazy about in 2011? Except this one definately wasn't. It wasn't segmented the way Mayan calendars are.

Anyways, I open the box and lift it out. There's this flash. It was like I could see an enormous anthropomorphic hummingbird, holding a snake. And something else. A mirror, maybe?

Dr. Rubin: And you didn't report this at the time?

SCP-XXXX: I did. I filled out an SA-342 and reported the incident. We ran the extra tests and found exactly zilch. They did a scan on me too, same result. Nequa put it down to stress. Somehow, she always did. So, we marked up PAA-35927 as non-anomalous and went on with our lives. Then, for about a week, nothing happened.

Dr. Rubin: That's when you started… not remembering things?

SCP-XXXX: *chuckles bitterly* You still think I'm crazy, don't you? Look, you've undoubtedly read my file. Nequa called it "confabulation". I've read up on the condition. It doesn't fit the symptoms. People who confabulate produce narratives that are incoherent. Their stories change as their damaged brains try to process their memories. Do I sound brain damaged to you?

Dr. Rubin: Dr. Hammerschmitt believes your memory has been corrupted by the anomalous…

SCP-XXXX: I don't give a rat's ass what some Doctor so-and-so believes! I remember… everything. The way it's supposed to be…

[approximately 20 seconds of silence]

Dr. Rubin: We can continue at a later time, if you would like.

SCP-XXXX: Oh, keep your phony pity to yourself. You wanted to hear my story, so here it is: So, you've obviously read the interview transcripts. You know that things started… changing. My quarters, Nequa, Frank, my… kids. I decided I wasn't going insane. Something was screwing with reality and I was going to stop it. But I had no idea what. That's when the translations came back.

Dr. Rubin: The translations?

SCP-XXXX: Of the inscriptions. On the artifacts. I remember each and every word: "With each inhale lives are extinguished, with each exhale tales are snuffed out. For them, it is not of consequence. They distort the earth and heavens without a care. Lives and memories forever lost. With this, you shall be their witness."

Dr. Rubin: So you decided it was PAA-35927 causing the changes to your reality?

SCP-XXXX: At the time, I didn't care what exactly it all meant. That inscription sounded enough like what was happening to me that I decided to wreck it. It may have been as much about revenge as anything else. That fucking thing had taken everything, I was going to hurt it back. And maybe, just maybe… So I broke out of medical, headed for the NAAD and hurled it against the nearest wall.

Dr. Rubin: Then why did you go to the gymnasium?

SCP-XXXX: I didn't. When that thing shattered against the wall, there was that flash again. That image of the hummingbird with the snake. Next thing I know, I'm in the gym. The only part of the NAAD still there was the floor around me. The more I think about it the more convinced I am, that though my destroying the artifact didn't stop what it was doing, I must have damaged it somehow. The effect was no longer contained to me, but stretched out to the space around me…

[approximately 10 seconds of silence]

Dr. Rubin: What happened then?

SCP-XXXX: You know the rest. I was picked up by SITESEC and locked up in the brig. After that, they shipped me here.

Dr. Rubin: So, to summarize: An ancient Mayan artifact with undetected powers started changing your reality, and after you destroyed it, it began changing the space around you, to?

SCP-XXXX: You're not listening, kid. PAA-35927 wasn't changing reality. It was preventing it from changing. But only for me.

Dr. Rubin: That's a very interesting hypothesis, Doctor Weaver. Now, I think this concludes the interview. Would you mind if we spoke again tomorrow?

SCP-XXXX: Sure, if you still exist.

Dr. Rubin: I have every intention of continuing to exist, Doctor Weaver.

SCP-XXXX: That's precisely what Doctor Eisenhower said.

Dr. Rubin: Who's Doctor Eisenhower?

SCP-XXXX: Exactly.

---

[END TRANSCRIPT]

ADDENDUM: Inquiries to the inventory of Site-81 NAAD has shown that item PAA-35927 is a Cheyenne war bonnet confiscated by MTF Beta-777 on 02-11-2014 with no registered anomalous properties. No item matching SCP-XXXX's account has been processed by Site-81 SAMAD to date.

[[footnoteblock]]

Scratchbook

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Metroidisprettycool!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 06:28

Excalibur Drowns SCP

Excalibur Drowns Log

.

Random Ideas n' Stuff

.

Wow! You flipped a card and got: Undecidable4!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 01 Mar 2021 05:52

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