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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 23:00
What lies above the abyss
Humanity fell.
Somehow, by mere chance, they fell.
It was like a curse made by death itself.
What left of us was in shambles, a small community with no purpose, above an endless abyss.
They had no purpose, they had no home, they were citizens of nowhere.
Yet they lived happily.
They lived their lives without hunger or loneliness because it didn't matter to them anymore, violence was an option but, it would just make their world worse.
They survived purely by harvest since the animals there were too dangerous to be messed with.
Outside of the impeccably crafted modern landscapes made with minimalistic intent, there was nothing but fog.
A world of wonder with nothing but danger.
It could lead to something bigger.
It could lead to the origins and how it all happened.
++ Exploration log 53234-Beta
An MTF team was sent to recover an artifact stolen by an unknown species of primates.
The area of which was unexplored.
The team was packed with exploration tools and heavy firearms as well as communication tools.
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 21:08
The SCP Foundation containing SCP-6020
Item #: SCP-6020
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6020 is kept on an enormous reinforced cell.
Description: SCP-6020 is a giant humanoid creature that appears to be Mickey Mouse; A cartoon from the 20s. It origin is unknown
Addendum 6020: During an incident that took place on ██/██/████ when he was on Site-██, SCP-6020 breaks out of containment and escapes.
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 20:33
CAPTION-GOES-HERE
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
[[footnoteblock]]
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 20:28
CAPTION-GOES-HERE
Item #: SCP-6789
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
[[footnoteblock]]
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 19:54
Special Containment Procedures:
Containment-Zone-AL71 has been established to prevent further spread of SCP-XXXX-A instances in Evergreen, Alabama. Any manifestation of SCP-XXXX-A that was found outside of Containment-Zone-FL71, is designated for termination. Testing with SCP-XXXX-A is no longer permitted. SCP-XXXX-B specimens located are to be captured and transported to the Secure Biohazard Storage Unit at Area-07. Individuals identified to be in possession of SCP-XXXX-B instances, or have been found to be associated with GoI-0778 ("Orange Dawn"), are to be detained and interrogated. MTF Lambda-17 ("Maniac Busters") has been assigned to locate and dismantle all GoI-0778 enclaves in the South Eastern United States.
Description:
SCP-XXXX is the collective designation for a phenomenon known to manifest in the South Eastern United States. SCP-XXXX-A instances resemble a humanoid organism averaging at 1.89 meters in height and 55.8 kilograms in weight. SCP-XXXX-A manifestations typically appear as a disfigured human with a hazel brown-tinted epidermis and often have up to 11 limbs. All SCP-XXXX-A have SCP-XXXX-B specimens located near the middle of their sinciput. SCP-XXXX-A entities tend to have malformed craniums along with transmuted cartilages. SCP-XXXX-A specimens show considerable resistance to gunfire, hazardous chemicals, burns, and blunt force. SCP-XXXX-A specimens show aggressive behavior towards all biological lifeforms. SCP-XXXX-B bears a resemblance to the tourmaline gemstone, with the most notable difference being the object's orange tinge. Due to testing with SCP-XXXX-B instances, it is now believed that SCP-XXXX-B is invulnerable to all forms of physical harm. Upon SCP-XXXX-B coming into contact with organic matter, the specimen will begin to excrete an unknown corrosive substance which causes biological tissue to decay at a rapid pace. SCP-XXXX-B will then attempt to lodge itself into the subject's hypodermis. Afterward, the subject will lose all sapience and will be considered an instance of SCP-XXXX-A.
SCP-XXXX-B instances are normally found within the ownership of individuals who have links to a Group of Interest known as the "Orange Dawn", designated GoI-0778. GoI-0778 members are normally comprised of mainly sarkites and the mentally ill. GoI-0778 members show immunity to SCP-XXXX-B's primary anomalous effect and are not pursued by SCP-XXXX-A instances. Constituents of GoI-0778 tend to abduct people that live in rural areas and are relatively unknown to the general population. Once abducted, these individuals are taken to the nearest GoI-0778 compound and go through a form of complex ritual process (Consult Addendum XXXX.2: Audio Log-01).
Addendum XXXX.1: Discovery Log [INCOMPLETE]
On 18/9/2017, multiple GoI-0778 members entered a restricted UIU station located at Knoxville, Alabama.
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 16:27
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 11:04
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-17.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a humanoid entity capable of altering its physical form at will. It is not capable of shapeshifting into non-human forms, nor is there a limit in the number of human forms it can take or the amount of times it can alter its form. SCP-XXXX reports no adverse effects from utilising its anomalous ability.
Addendum.XXXX.1:
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX
Interviewer: Dr Raymond Shields
Foreword: Interview conducted upon SCP-XXXX's arrival at Site-17.
<Begin Log>
Dr Shields: So, you can shapeshift?
SCP-XXXX: Yes. I don’t, though. It’s inconvenient.
Dr Shields: Inconvenient for you?
SCP-XXXX: Inconvenient for my family, mostly. Easy enough to pass off small changes but why bother?
Dr Shields: Does your family know about your anomalous abilities?
SCP-XXXX: Maybe they noticed, but I never told them. My kids would tell people; I don’t want everybody knowing.
Dr Shields: I wanted to ask about your family, specifically about your eldest daughter Phoebe. Is that something you would be willing to talk about?
SCP-XXXX: Sure.
Dr Shields: Did you ever hurt her?
SCP-XXXX: No. I only ever did what was best for her and the other kids.
Dr Shields: She appears to be saying otherwise. Did you maybe harm her unintentionally, by being overprotective or something of the like?
SCP-XXXX: She would say that; she lies, all the time, and claims she never does. I never hurt her, or her siblings.
Dr Shields: Does it hurt you when Phoebe lies like that, or when she steps out of line in other ways?
SCP-XXXX: I only ever did what was best for her. I wanted her to fit in with everybody else. Didn’t want her feeling like an alien.
[11 second pause]
Dr Shields: You said before that it was easy enough to pass off small changes in your appearance as non-anomalous. Did you ever… make small changes in your appearance, since having a family?
SCP-XXXX: Not around them. Sometimes if I went out with my friends. I did it a lot when I was a kid.
Dr Shields: You’re absolutely sure that you never utilised your anomalous ability around your family?
SCP-XXXX: Yes. I would remember if I had.
[3 second pause]
Dr Shields: Bluntly, did you ever utilise your anomalous ability specifically to harm your daughter?
[3 second pause]
SCP-XXXX: No.
[7 second pause]
Dr Shields: Are you sure?
<End Log>
Addendum.XXXX.2:
Interviewed: Phoebe Adams
Interviewer: Dr Landon Fairburn
Foreword: Interview conducted at Site-19 on request of the Site-17 Research Department. Adams sits upright, but appears nervous. Rs Samantha Hawcett, who Adams requested act as her chaperone for the duration of the interview, is also present.
<Begin Log>
Dr Fairburn: So, before we begin, you don’t have to answer the questions, but I would appreciate it if you could answer honestly.
Adams: Yeah, of course.
Dr Fairburn: Okay. To start, do you know why you’re here?
Adams: My mother is an alien.
[2 second pause. Dr Fairburn organises his papers.]
Dr Fairburn: It was, er, presumed you didn’t know that.
Adams: I know a lot of things. I don’t rat on anybody though.
Dr Fairburn: So you never told anybody?
Adams: Of course not. Why would I do that?
Dr Fairburn: Oka-
Adams: It’s not like I’ll remember in the end anyway.
[Rs Hawcett looks up.]
Dr Fairburn: Okay, moving on. How did you discover that your mother is an anomaly?
Adams: I don’t remember.
Dr Fairburn: Genuinely? Or are you just declining to comment?
Adams: Genuinely. I don’t remember. Sorry.
Dr Fairburn: How long have you known about your mother’s anomalous abilities, do you think?
[2 second pause.]
Adams: I seriously don’t know, sorry. I don’t remember a lot of things that happened, can’t place them neither.
[5 second pause.]
Dr Fairburn: How much of your memory is missing? Do you think it could be caused by your mother's anomalous effect?
Adams: A lot. I only really remember a couple minutes of each year. Flashbacks, really.
[2 second pause.]
Adams: All of it soon.
[Dr Fairburn glances at Rs Hawcett.]
Rs Hawcett: Don’t look at me, I didn’t do anything.
Adams: Not yet.
Rs Hawcett: Retract that statement.
Adams: No.
[Rs Hawcett shifts uncomfortably in her seat.]
Dr Fairburn: I feel I have started something, apologies. I'll reiterate my previous question; do you think your memory loss was a result of your mother's anomalous effect?
Adams: Some of it, a lot of it I suppose, was her fault, but I don't think it was because of her shapeshifting thing or whatever. People are just arseholes sometimes.
[3 second pause. Dr Fairburn writes something on his notes.]
Dr Fairburn: We only really have one more question. Did your mother ever harm you?
Adams: Yes.
Dr Fairburn: Are you willing to provide detail on that?
Adams: No, not really. She hurt me in lots of ways though, and never seemed to notice or care that that was what she was doing. Sometimes, I suddenly remember things she did to me a long time ago but I don't even know if they're real.
Dr Fairburn: Did she ever use her anomalous abilities to hurt you? If you remember?
Adams: I don’t remember. I don’t think so though, I probably would’ve noticed.
Dr Fairburn: We, er, have evidence to believe your mother utilised her anomalous ability to stalk you. She all but confessed to it too.
[3 second pause.]
Adams: What?
[Dr Fairburn presents Adams with a photo.1]
[3 second pause. Adams hunches over in her seat and balls her hands into fists.]
Adams: FUCK!
[static]
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Adams was sanctioned for destroying the Research Department's audio recorder and has subsequently been returned to the custody of the Site-19 Amnestics Department.
[[footnoteblock]]
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DATE: 27 Feb 2021 08:45
A Clown for Your Thoughts
Moka the Clown
Conspectus
Moka is a 2.0 m tall clown that wanders the United States of America with his traveling shop “A Clown for Your Thoughts”. Moka mainly resembles the tv star Bozo the clown except for a large, internally infinite backpack he carries with him that holds the entirety of his shop. Any item picked up, eaten, or used from the shop will trigger a childhood happy memory for the consumer. These items can be “purchased” in exchange for an object saturated with emotion, which Moka feeds off of. Moka has been tracked and observed setting up shop in multiple abandoned locations to do business.
Illustration
Moka the clown posed for a social media influencer with a camera on September 12th 2016. This picture was posted on the influencer’s blog the next day with the title: "ANOTHER CLOWN SPOTTING?!?! :O [NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!]" This is where the image was recovered.
Knowledge
Traits: Moka is a 2.0 m tall humanoid male with a lanky build. He resembles a typical party clown, specifically resembling the 1960’s children’s TV star Bozo the clown. He has natural white skin and brightly colored pigmentations, similar to typical clown face paint. This includes the oblong, red clown nose on his face. He also has bright yellow eyes with pupils in the shape of exclamation bubbles used in comics. It is noted that the clown also has a strong underbite caused by unusually large lower jaw canines. These canines are both twice as large and sharp when compared to his upper jaw canines. The clown has been described as having a calm and gentle voice similar to that of a children’s book narrator. Moka has bright purple hair tied up into two large pigtails sprouting into a bushy, pompom stylization. Moka’s outfit is a bright teal with hints of purple, yellow, and white. He has a large ruffle collar and long white gloves that match the rest of his costume. On the front of his costume are two large star buttons. Moka is always seen with a large backpack that has a felt party hat sewn to the top of it. The bag has the ability to contain an infinite number of items inside it, allowing Moka to transport the entirety of his shop. It is noted that only items placed into the bag can later be recovered, and only by Moka.2
Moka can teleport with the aid of any balloon or balloon-like item. The larger he blows up the balloon the farther he is able to travel, being able to teleport up to a max length of 3,000 km in any direction. He will inflate said balloon and then pop it, his entire body “popping” with it and vanishing, leaving behind a small puff of confetti and glitter. Moka has mentioned that he “teleports blind” and is unaware of the exact location he will end up when teleporting. Observation has revealed that he keeps a detailed journal with multiple maps and photos in it to help orient himself when he teleports.
“A Clown For Your Thoughts” is the name of Moka’s shop. Moka will find abandoned storefronts to set up inside as his new temporary home and business. The shop has sprung up in multiple major and minor cities across the United States, but never stays up for longer than two months. The interior and furniture of the shop is recovered entirely from within Moka’s backpack. The newly erected shop will create a deep curiosity for all those who look at it, drawing them in. Any child going through a rough patch in life (anything from going to the dentist to a loved one dying) will start having vague dreams and memories of a purple haired clown, but will not be able to put their finger on where they’ve seen it. This itch to know where the clown is from will grow more and more annoying each day until the child finally sees Moka and enters his shop. Moka spreads joy through the anomalous properties of the items for sale in the shop. All items for sale are clown themed and hand crafted by Moka. Common items for sale are; plush clown dolls, clown sculptures, clown swiss army knives, clown pancakes, and clown themed accessories. These items are not purchased with money but instead an item filled with emotional energy. This item can be anything from a junior league swimming trophy to an ex-boyfriend’s jacket. Moka feeds off this emotional energy to survive, and this is considered the second biggest reason for Moka owning a traveling shop. Below is the logo Moka uses to brand the toys in his shop:
Nature: Moka is extremely nurturing and caring when it comes to working with kids. He embodies the original purpose of a clown; a comforting and whimsical figure children can go to for a good laugh. Moka will become overjoyed when he is able to get a child to smile, loving to tell jokes to the kids in his shop. Moka is less passionate when working with adults. If an adult attempts conversation with Moka, he will grow bored and then agitated rather quickly. He finds adult life dreadfully dull and has mentioned his outrage on multiple occasions about adults’ lack of creativity.
Moka's anomalous abilities regarding the absorption and expulsion of emotional energy is still largely unknown. Commonly, a surrogate is used for emotional energy to be transferred through from Moka to a human or vice versa. This is usually a toy, a clothing items, or a food item. Moka has small golden pads, similar to the paw pads of a cat, on the upper inside digits of his fingers. These pads are used to absorb and expel emotional energy. Direct contact with these pads and the emotional energy manipulation they produce would result in casualties. Main example being Hopper Greene, a nine year old boy who was diagnosed with acute memory loss. Moka's attempt to return all of Hopper's memories at once resulted in the child's brain swelling and having to be placed in a medical coma. Moka seemed guilt ridden by the event and went into solitary hiding for a year afterwards. No further cases are known, but it is clear his ability is powerful enough to cause brain hemorrhaging, seizures, or worse. It has been noted that it is odd a human support anomaly must be so cautious with it's ability to not harm a human. Current theories from base believe his ability was originally meant to be used on something nonhuman with stronger mental capability. Further observation necessary.
History & Associated Parties: Moka’s costumes, preferences, and lingo strikingly resemble popular trends in America during the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. Moka has mentioned being born around that period of time, thus explaining his preference. On multiple occasions he has brought up his familial link with the tv star Bozo the clown. He refers to himself as “Bozo’s non-blood, flesh, or organ brother”. Nothing else is known about Moka’s origins or birth aside from the fact he has no parents or siblings and apparently “just kinda happened”. Despite multiple advancements being made in modern society since then, Moka seems unable to catch up with technology. He gets easily frustrated with technology and doesn’t understand just how connected everything is. Moka has been caught on multiple security cameras, live streams, and blogs because of this.
Moka is able to morph his body so that he temporarily resembles a human as a form of disguise. His human form resembles a latino man in his late twenties with purplish black hair. He has stated that his human disguise isn’t based on anyone, and is simply what he feels comfortable with. When asked what race he is, he simply responds that he is a clown.
Approach:
If Approaching Moka: Anyone under the age of eighteen can easily approach Moka and get a hug or another comforting gesture. Anyone over the age of eighteen may approach Moka respectfully but should avoid touching him as it causes him to become uncomfortable and agitated. It is also recommended to avoid staring, glaring, or taking photos of Moka as it causes him anxiety and usually results in him quickly removing himself from the situation.
If Approaching “A Clown for Your Thoughts”: Anyone is allowed access to the store during business hours and may shop around for as long as they like. Moka has mentioned that his wares are mostly meant for people who need a moment of happiness during a low of their mortal life. Although it has been noted, no matter how small or large the problem, anyone is allowed to leave with an item from the shop. The shop’s main customer base is children, but adults may enter and get something as well.
Observations & Stories
“I had been having a tough week in school because finals were approaching. I dreamed about a purple haired clown and ended up at Moka’s shop. I hadn’t had a chance to eat that day because I had used my lunch period to study. Moka whipped me up a stack of the fluffiest, sweetest pancakes I had ever seen. Each bite reminded me of when I used to get ice cream with my grandpa on the weekends. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had, and all it cost me was an old keychain I got on a fieldtrip.” -Parker (customer, age 15)
“I’m well informed about Moka’s travels and his shop, I can safely say that he is genuinely a compassionate person. Wherever he is, I know that he’s wholeheartedly making children’s lives happier, regardless of gender, race or background. Moka prioritizes childrens' joy and wellbeing above all else. He’ll stop at nothing to achieve this, even at the cost of his own longevity.” - Tobias, (Reluctant to share any further information.)
“The toys inside A Clown For Your Thoughts are surprisingly well made for all being handcrafted. You can see the dedication to details with how vibrantly created everything is. You can also ask for a custom toy and he is always more than happy to comply. He’s quite talented when it comes to creating gifts for children.” - Marco (father of a customer)
"You can tell Moka really, truly cares for the children that enter his shop. My son, Leo, is a nonverbal autistic child who struggles to communicate what he wants at times. Moka was extremely patient and understanding, helping my son in a way that kept him feeling comfortable and safe. He also never spoke down to Leo, treating him as an equal. Leo was allowed to lead the interaction and walked around the shop before finding a toy that he liked. Moka didn’t force his help onto Leo, letting him both get the toy and make the purchase without unnecessary interjection. My son was beaming ear to ear when he left the shop with his new toy. He’s already asking me when we can go again.” - Cecelia and Leo (mother and customer, age 10)
“Moka is such a kind soul when it comes to kids. I’ve spoken to him about it and he revealed that he would eventually like to settle down with a husband and a few kids of his own. He said he wanted to continue running the shop, but make it into a family business. I can tell he’ll be a wonderful father, and his kids can continue carrying his ideals of anomalies and humans living together and supporting each other. I think it could be extremely beneficial to have multiple generations of friendly anomalies integrating with society.” - Lily (volunteer at The Serpent’s Hand)
“I was worried about the inclusivity of the shop when I first saw it in my conservative town. When I walked in wearing my trans flag pin, Moka asked me what it represented. At first I was anxious, but once I explained it I saw how his eyes lit up at my words. He immediately made a note to get some flags for his shop and openly accepted me. The next day he was eager to show me all the different LGBTQ+ and POC flags hanging from his shop window. A true nurturing figure would accept all children no matter what they identified as or who they loved, and that fits Moka perfectly. Anyone can enter his shop and know it’s a safe place to open up. He also won’t tell anyone, especially parents, if the child doesn’t feel comfortable with them knowing.” - Rose (customer, age 16)
“Moka is great! He always makes hot cocoa when it’s snowing and he’s the best at playing Robo-Dinosaur Hide-and-Seek! I’m always really happy when he comes to town and I miss him a lot when he’s gone. I hope he comes back soon.” - Diego (customer, age 5)
“Moka plays tea party with me when none of the other kids will and that makes me happy :)” - Brianna (customer, age 4)
Doubt
Despite Moka’s best attempts to be a welcoming and friendly public figure, some humans and anomalies alike are hesitant and skeptical of the clown.
I just find it odd that everything in his shop is clown themed. It’s borderline obsessive. We get it! You’re a clown! Why not throw in a few seashells or at least a barnyard animal or two? - Eliza (mother of a customer)
When I went in to buy something for my son, the clown flirted with me. He told me I was "just his type". This in itself isn’t a problem but… As I was about to leave I heard someone ask Moka what his taste in men was. He responded he liked them as ridiculous looking and funny as possible, the more like a clown the better. Now I feel a little insulted… Does this tie really clash with my suit that bad? - Anthony (father with a horrible fashion sense)
He’s a bit of a goody-two-shoes, if you ask me. I get that he follows clown code, but he takes the fun out of everything! "You shouldn’t drink alcohol before your show!", "Are you sure this playground is up to safety regulations?", "Stop setting bushes on fire, you’ll burn down the neighborhood!". Like geez! Live a little! - Icky (Head clown at Herman Fuller’s Circus)
I worry that he doesn’t have the same eye for business as other anomalous companies. He’s sitting on a goldmine with these nostalgia toys yet he refuses to partner with anyone, even us! Can you believe that? He even left this nasty sign in the window that says; "No Soliciting, yes that means you, Dr. Wondertainment. Stop pretending you're someone else by wearing different sunglasses and throwing an accent". Legally you cannot prove that was us. Legally. - Dr. Wondertainment Representative
I think we’re ignoring the elephant in the room. Moka is an anomaly. What if he just snaps and slaughters all the children in his store one day? If I was a parent, I wouldn’t let my children near that shop. He’s incapable of really caring, all anomalies are. Anomalies and humans should stay separated by a thick barrier. - Dr. Zokolav (skeptic)
When he saw me sticking ants on my popsicle and licking them off, he made me throw my popsicle away. He bought me a new one but without the ants it wasn’t the same. - Eddie (customer, age 6)
[[footnoteblock title=""]]
Wow! You flipped a card and got: SCP-5219 "The Inhabited Soda Can"!!! You ca reload the page or go to the next.
DATE: 27 Feb 2021 05:49
Item #: SCP-5219
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5219 Is to be held inside of a 5m x 5m x 5m concrete holding cell, 700 meters below sea level. It is to be kept inside of an airtight glass casing. If SCP-5219 were to be removed from containment for unsanctioned reasons, all windows are to be locked and blacked out. All lights in a 1km radius of last approximate location of the item are to be switched off, and all nearby personnel in that same 1km radius are to close their eyes. There is required to be 2 on-site janitorial positioned workers coupled with no less than 2 armed guards, suited with an AR-15.
If another subject unrelated to SCP-5219 were to exit containment, all possible entrances and exits regarding SCP-5219 or its containment are to be sealed airtight, and all responses to these protocols by SCP-5219 are to be ignored unless there are valuable site personnel inside of SCP-5219's containment.
In the situation regarding the birth of a new SCP-5219, all personnel in a 2m radius of the birth of SCP-5219-2 are to shoot the newborn subject as soon as it is visible. If any personnel hesitate, they are to be removed from SCP-5219's containment and shot on sight once outside of the cell.
Description: SCP-5219 resembles an unopened Pepsi soda can with 2 holes on parallel sides of the can, about an inch in diameter. If observed for long enough, two slender white arms, with one sharp claw on the end of each arm, will emerge from the holes.
SCP-5219 is a typically cognito-hazardous subject. If observed without proper gear, the observer will develop a headache, nausea, then fall into a coma within 3.2s of observation. Reports detail that an observer cannot lose the effects of SCP-5219's observation by looking away and looking back, as the effects will remain until the observer falls into a coma induced by SCP-5219. If left without observation for extended amounts of time, SCP-5219 will react erratically, sending large crystalized spikes, constructed of unknown material, towards all organic entities within a 1K radius.
Addendum: On the 32 recorded situations in which SCP-5219 escaped containment, only 2 included a situation in which SCP-5219 made a noise that was not created by the soda can "containing" SCP-5219. The first recorded noise was discovered in 1988, where the subject radiated a hypersonic screech, shattering all windows within a 2km radius, flooding the facility, and forcing the unauthorized relocation of SCP-5219.
4 on-site officers recall seeing 3 different forms of SCP-5219, however the 4 officers have since died due to undisclosed reasons.
[[footnoteblock]]
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DATE: 26 Feb 2021 21:07
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No like, really. 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Photo taken of SCP-BALD-J outside in the afternoon.
Name: Uncle Al
Item #: SCP-BALD-J
Object Class: Dashing Keter
Why did you let him get a hold of the file? - Dr. Till
How the hell was I supposed to know he was going to get a hold of the file and mess everything up? - Dr. Ezra
Just help me rewrite the whole damn thing! - Dr. Till
Special Containment Procedures:I can go do whatever I want, and no one can stop me. SCP-BALD-J is being kept near his nephew's office (Dr. Ezra). He is free to roam the facility, as long as he keeps a hat on. I do not consider an umbrella hat a hat, by the way. SCP-BALD-J is encouraged to walk in the dimmer halls of the facility, but of course, he doesn't listen.
Description:I am very tall, and I have slight grey parted hair. SCP-BALD-J is a male adult somewhere in his 50s (Side note: I'm actually not sure what his age is) And his head is completely sans hair although-
- although he is completely ignorant and thinks he has the world's best hair - Dr. Ezra
Keep out, Dr. Ezra. You're not the one writing the majority of the file - Dr. Till
Where his hair once was, there is now a reflective surface. When any light is directly shone upon SCP-BALD-J's head, It results in a blinding light that is-
Just as bright as a flash grenade? - Dr. Ezra
Addendum:
Forward: Dr. Ezra will be conducting the interview since he is SCP-BALD-J's nephew
Dr. Ezra: Hello, SCP-BA-
SCP-BALD-J: EH!
Dr. Ezra: What-
SCP-BALD-J: What did I say about the name?
Dr. Ezra: Man- It's just a formality….I'm just trying to do my-
Dr. Till: (Over speaker) No, It is not just a formality.
SCP-BALD-J: C'mon. We're family!
Dr. Ezra Ugh…..Fine. Hello Uncle Al.
SCP-BALD-J: That's better! Now I can answer what you have.
Dr. Ezra: Thank you. Now, How did your head become so…..
SCP-BALD-J: What? Become so what?
Dr. Ezra: Umm…
SCP-BALD-J: Hm?
Dr. Ezra: BALD! Become so bald!
SCP-BALD-J: What the hell?! I'm not bald!
Dr. Ezra: Yes you are! look in a damn mirror for once!
SCP-BALD-J: (gasps) WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SWEAR AT YOUR UNCLE?!
Dr. Ezra: I just need some answers Al-
SCP-BALD-J: NOW YOU CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME LIKE I'M YOUR FRIEND?! I'M OUTTA HERE!
storms out
Dr. Ezra: DAMNIT!
[[footnoteblock]]
