i wan see famly :( (2001)
I want to see my famili. I think my family worrid abowt me. I just want to be norml. (2004)
Been living and reading some books, trying things out, trying to get used to my life. The question still begs though, when can I see my family? (2007)
Just finished my school work, exhausted, tired, want to go to sleep. The pain still goes on. Still not a normal person. I'll just watch some TV before going to bed. (2009)
Got some snacks today, I'm loving it. I'm thinking about going to the pool too, but I can't know if I'll get hurt. The guards told me I'll be ok, just gonna take it easy.
I can't really stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about the pain. It's irritating me. A lot now. I want to be a normal person, have friends, have a family. Think there is an other person who thinks they would want to be like me.
I mean, at least I got the snacks. I probably will just eat it out in just a couple bites. (2009)
Life is boring, I requested for a iPhone but I did get one, so that's a win for me. I'm a bit anxious, I don't know what they will do to me when I turn 18. Pain still goes on, wanted to slap myself in the face to feel the pain, felt a minor sting but no problem for me.
I played some games like Roblox, I want to see the future of this game. Has lots of potential to me.
Oh yeah, YouTube. I guess I am doing great, maybe my future might be better than expected. So now my entertainment is good, I wanna focus on the food. Actually, I wanna focus on the RECIPES to create the food, or cooking. (2009)
I get some visits with my family now, so that's pretty nice. I don't know what will happen next, but I'm pretty sure I have a good upcoming future.
I even became friends with one of those worker guys and scientists. I'll call him Bob, but he treated me like a friend. We even got to play some games together, but Bob had to move somewhere else. Never heard from him again.
Still, I think my life is doing pretty well. I got to meet even more people, and I'll probably become their friends in the future. Maybe I'll get to meet some kids and just, live a normal life, some day. Thats what I hope, a bright, bright future. (2009)
Asked some of those guys how long it will take till I get out, they tell me that they don't know. I'm probably guessing that it's because they haven't researched me entirely, but that's ok. Anytime, as long as it happens.
Daily schedule has been completed as usual, play video games, cook recipes, entertain, eat, socialize, all that stuff. No problems besides that continued pain, but still I get to see my family once a week. Bright future were going to, I'm gonna have to be patient. (2010)
Alright, so here's what I did. Cooked some nuggets and mac-n-cheese. Gobbled it up as usual. I got to see my family, we also got to play games this time and not just talk about the situation. Also, one of those guys watches and accompanies me, plays with me, socializes, just a friend in general.
I got to play some even more Roblox, I feel ok now. It's the first time ever, that I just feel like a normal person. I guess if I keep on focusing off that pain, I don't need to experience it.
Also, a doctor kept telling me "It's Okay." when I was like four because of the "bed monster". I just got reminded of it. Now I'm laughing so hard at myself. And yes, I am now watching funny compilations. Hahaha! (2010)
I went to a playground for a couple hours, still waiting. Got to play on a slide, and it was really fun! I've seen what it's like, but I thought it wouldn't be that fun as that. Next thing I'll go to is the pool, and even a water park. So yeah, been watching some bug fight compilations, pretty cool.
The entertainment has been enough to keep me okay, but I feel like I want to branch out some more.
Oh yeah, I cooked some nuggets for one of the guys who watch me. He thanked me. Empathy. Yeah, empathy.
I also started writing some other stuff, like… Alot of other stuff. Random weird things. Bodybuilders fighting each other, it's really interesting. Punch! Besides only comics, maybe I'll get to do even more! (2010)
Nothing special. Or… The opposite… I got 2 dogs! One's a golden retreiver, the other is a dalmation! I love to play with them! I named the first Madley, she's a girl, and she's half a year. She is so active, jumping everywhere! It makes me laugh.
The other one is another female, her name is Bella. She also loves jumping around and playing games.
So, I got some mat's and a dog house for them to play in. My family got to visit the dog's (besides Riley [my sister] who was allergic to dogs.). My dogs all barked at my family. We all laughed but were also a bit annoyed. Eventually, our dogs got used to the family, so that's kinda nice at the same time. (2011)
I just started walking my dogs around the park. They loved the view. Oh yeah, if it wasn't obvious that guy I played with kept monitoring us. I got a lot of hugs and kisses, at least one of the most nicest times of my life, free'd from that pain… Even that guard guy laughed at us. Thinking we could go to a beach, it got denied sadly. They said that they don't want to know of my condition (which is acceptable because everyone would go crazy). They also told me some other secret information, which apparently I can't tell my family. But basically they jail other objects which don't make sense by logic. So I guess that's why they won't let me at the beach. I mean I can camp at the mountains, still. (2011)
Yeah, so we just started climbing the mountain. I got a parachute in case I somehow fell. A group of guys went on vacation with me. We got a view of the pinkish-orange sky, it was pretty nice, actually. We also camped with the dogs, ate some food, and also had fun. So it was pretty decent. (2012)
Pain medication! Yes… I think this might work. If I get that pain medication, maybe I might live and forget that I was ever a guy that didn't have lungs or a heart. It's perfection. I still have some sort of uncertainty of whether it will actually work or not, but I hope it will. I hope. I really hope. That's not a lot to say, but that's all I need to say anyways. (2014)
Sadly, it didn't work. It did absolutely nothing, didn't worsen it (luckily) and didn't treat it. So, I'll just have to continue with my normal things. I'll stay with my family and talk to them about that more indepth then I will here, because I have a diary to write. Oh yeah, storytelling. Made some emotional stories about Maddie the Fox. And yes, I played with my dogs. I'm still thinking of where to go next, I'm getting more worried now. (2014)
I asked the researchers of my condition, I was improving at first, and it seemed that I would just be a normal man with a nice past. Turns out it has to take the worst path, even worse then if I just was born this way and kept like this. It reminds me of what some officers do to prisoners, let them have something they want, and take it away, it's torture for them in the very least. (2015)
Sounds weird, but… Why? Just why? Why do I exist like this. It's tiring, and painful. I just want to be a normal human. I know I said this like, at least a million times already, but it looks like I have to say it once again. Let. Me. Be. Normal. I want to be a normal person. A normal past. At least a better future. But no. NOPE. Time is like: "Oh yeah? Nah you go suffer and die painful deaths". I can't stand this anymore. Oh yeah, a few months before I turn 18. Yay. (estimated 2017)
I'm tired, I want to go to bed. I'm tired of playing with those guards, watching stupid compilations of videos, I'm tired. I can't tell if I'm depressed, but it seems like I am. So, I guess that my symptoms will subside soon, which makes me feel a bit less worried. Got this from a simple google search with my iPhone. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention a few years back I updated my iPhone. Yeah. So it's now better than before. (2017)
There is no more future. That's all I can tell now. My dogs. Well, they're old. They haven't been interacting with me. I haven't been interacting with anybody. I don't want to be alive anymore. I'm bored, I'm not depressed, I'm permanently depressed. The old, happy me thinking I had a good, great, nice future is gone. It's gone. I would've been a man with a home. Or a guy who had a family. No. But I wasn't. And I will never be. (2019)
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME HE[illegible]] (????)
(Following these messages, SCP-XXXX ceased acceptable behaviors. SCP-XXXX was treated for depression with anti-depressant drugs, which have not been effective. However, SCP-XXXX still continues to be inactive with the writing of notes, and appears significantly less active then during the years of 2010-2012.)
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