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SCP-5802: The Ferrets
Object class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5802-A and SCP-5802-B are to be kept in a 15 x 15m containment cell. The room is filled with standard necessities for a ferret, and cleaned on a tri-weekly basis. When entering the containment cell all personnel are to wear a gas mask and standard hazmat suit. Entering SCP-5802 containment cell requires Level 4 clearance.
Description: SCP-5802 is a pair of ferrets classed SCP-5802-A and SCP-5802-B. SCP-5802-B is an extremely deadly and tricky SCP, it has caused multiple containment breaches, and whilst in foundation custody has caused 120 deaths, the majority of which were D-class personnel. SCP-5802-A is an SCP that is safe and cuddly but participates in containment breaches. It has effects extremely close to those of SCP-999, and after SCP-999’s reclassification as Thaumiel, many consider this a new 999. Both are ferrets are small, SCP-5802-A weighs 1.7 lbs whilst SCP-5802-B weighs 5 lbs. Both ferrets can speak human languages SCP-5802-A prefers speaking in Russian, Belarusian, and Polish, though it does speak English and Dutch. SCP-5802-B speaks Latin, and all romance languages preferably Portuguese and Romanian. SCP-5802-B speaks no germanic based language. Both SCP’s have had multiple conversations with personnel.
Text Log: 5802-A112
Dr. Polasi: Hello.
SCP-5802-A: Привет, доктор Поласи
Dr. Polasi: Can we get a translator?
SCP-5802-A: It’s okay I know English, but i’m not the best at speaking it.
Dr Polasi: Oh okay then. My first question is why do you help SCP-5802-B in containment breaches?
SCP-5802-A: Why is it your business to know? We are ferrets for God’s sake! What do you expect us to do after we explored our containment area?
Dr. Polasi: You know I thought you would have been nice but anyw-
SCP-5802-A: Excuse me? Who do you think you are? God? No your just a pewny mortal that is a useless f***wart.
Dr. Polasi: Can we end this?
SCP-5802-A: Киска
END LOG
SCP-5802-B releases a toxic gas with unknown chemical make named TRBL-628-B. TRBL-628-B is toxic to all mammals, reptiles and fish. Birds and amphibians have no effects when exposed to TRBL-628-B. Though SCP-5802-A is ferret, it has no effect when exposed to TRBL-628-B. Both were found and recovered in [REDACTED]-NM-USA. They are currently contained at Site-14.
Text Log:58200-BB122
Dr.Polasi: Hello.
SCP-5802-B:Olá, seu D*chefe. Como você está ( Hello, d*head how are you)
Dr. Polasi: I am very well thank you..
SCP-5802-B:OH este tumor conhece português, surpreendente ( OH this tumor knows portuguese surprising)
Dr. Polasi: Screw this end the logs and recordings.
END LOG. `
