SCP- 8151315 - Statistical facilitator

Item #: SCP-8151315¹

Object Class: Safe

Special containment procedure: SCP-8151315 may move freely within Foundation boundaries. However, due to it's beneficial properties, extensive safety measures must be taken in order to protect it from any harm. For instance, should it contract any disease, the most advanced known remedies known to the Foundation must be applied immediately to cure it. Additionally, any contact with SCP items presenting hazardous properties must be avoided. Should any such contact be deliberately provoked, any responsible personnel is to be reprimanded, or even terminated, in the case of D-class personnel, unless given permission by a majority of O5 members.

Description: SCP-8151315 appears as a human of indeterminate gender and variable features. When asked, it claims to be thirty years old, although its apparent age changes as often as all of its other characteristics do. Contacts with D-class personnel as well as with Foundation researchers have not yet revealed any anomalous phenomenon stemming from interaction with SCP-8151315's surroundings.

As its colloquial name implies, its anomalous properties are statistical in nature. Its physical features will instantaneously vary to a sometimes slight, sometimes significant degree, every first monday of every month, at exactly midnight, local time. Initially, this phenomenon was thought to be a display of minor metamorphic ability with the purpose of interacting with SCP-8151315's environment. However, it's perfect regularity soon struck research teams as odd, and several months went by without further explanations being proposed.

On the sixth month since SCP-8151315's recovery, statistician ████ noticed very little changes in skin color from one metamorphosis to another. Its skin complexion, she remarked, remained strangely similar to what a team of researchers, led by herself, concluded the average pigmentation of human skin would be in several centuries². This prompted Foundation researchers to double check the results of numerous tests administered to SCP-8151315. They found out the results were remarkably average for every evaluation taken, from physical tests and bodily measurements to intelligence and aptitude tests. Statistician ████ theorized this " averageness " might as well apply to its gender, which is why it is always roughly half-male, half-female in appearance.

Additional correlations with statistical averages for humanity have lead Foundation researchers to the current leading hypothesis pertaining to SCP-8151315's anomaly: it is meant to symbolize the exact average member of the genus homo, both intellectually and physically. The periodic metamorphoses presumably serve as '' updates '' of humanity's status, but this remains to be confirmed. Several attributes of SCP-8151315's anomaly include, but are not limited to, the following:

• The affected characteristics are only intrinsic to SCP-8151315, and are not influenced by external events happening to humanity in general. This might explain why it does not present an '' average sickness '' or an '' average number and severity of bruises '', amongst other things. SCP-8151315 is affected by its own ailments, as is any other human subject;
• Similar to the aforementioned, its life experiences, skills and all learned material are only its own, and are thus not subject to the statistical anomaly affecting it. This explains why, for example, SCP-8151315 is a monolingual English speaker, and does not produce an '' average '' human language. Based on the physical examinations and psychometric tests administered to it, however, its talents seem to perfectly reflect human average in every known field;
• No character trait of SCP-8151315 seems out of the ordinary, leading statistician ████ to assume the anomaly might apply to qualities and flaws as well.
• This statistical phenomenon seemingly grants SCP-8151315 functional immortality as long as a significant number of representatives of the genus homo remains alive. Its apparent age being that of an average human, it can be increased or decreased every month, but not to a significant degree³;
• Since no other anomaly has been detected in SCP-8151315, it is assumed that anomalous properties presented by SCP items belonging to the genus homo are not taken into account by SCP-8151315's own statistical anomaly. This assertion is based on the idea that potent human SCP items would grant it with a small but detectable portion of their own anomalies, even when taking billions of humans into account.

As of present day, averages for humanity as a whole are difficult to directly determine by conventional statistical studies. Because of this, SCP-8151315's properties are viewed as valuable by the Foundation, as they provide researchers with fast and perfectly accurate data about the average human being. Direct contacts between SCP-8151315 and six extraterrestrial sapient species have occurred so far, as the object represents the simplest way to describe the average human specimen to alien intelligence. For these encounters to happen, authorization from all O5 members was obtained, with extra security measures being taken. So far, no detrimental incidents have happened during any of them.

Footnotes

1. The number comes from the corresponding value of all 26 letters in the English alphabets. A means 1, B means 2, and so forth. When read accordingly, object number reads as " Homo ", for the entire genus it statistically represents as of present day. See description for further details

2. That is, assuming transcontinental migration and ethnic interbreeding intensifies, effectively standardizing human appearance over that time

3. This assertion remains to be empirically confirmed, but so far, SCP-8151315's age seems to have varied in a non-linear fashion from month to month. It was thus assumed this characteristic follows the same rule as every other one affected by the anomaly.