Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe unless it turns Blue1
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be slapped with a baby Great White Shark the deadliest swimming thing ever and then patted down with the skin of dead, unsheared sheep. If the cotton swabs are not as acrobatically agile, they are to be fed to the homeless at 4:20 pm.
If needy are unavailable for whatever reason, seek the nearest orphanage for next best resource option.
Description:
SCP-XXXX is anyone you can possibly think of, defined by nothing but the remedial acquaintance. If SCP-XXXX dies, oh well who cares. Stab that fucker with a knife fashioned from his firstborns underdeveloped femur.
Watch him burn to a hallow crisp with nothing but boiled ribs as a keepsake.
Addendum:
SCP-XXXX was discovered when Super Researcher Samantha Rose was mandatorily inclined to socialize throughout Site-19. After several absent, therefore failed, monthly, Psychological examinations. The attempt was met with antisocial behavior, premeditative obscene vandalism of sites bulletin, vulgar changes of lower personnel access codes, and after disposal of what Researcher Rose distributed as "Personalized Fertilizer" into all C-Wings Bio-Researches subdivisions plants.
| Does the Black Moon Howl?
Mystery's Creative Authority is Madness.
Yes it fucking howls.
| Access granted!!
Project Thaumiels While I understand the gesture, I've made things perfectly clear! If you want perfect results as I intend to offer, I order, NO distractions! This delay to my efforts has cost me 12 hours. 12 hours I could have spent on the facilitation of [DATA EXPUNGED] that was asked of me as of the deadline █/██/20██. As a result, I am pretty freakin' pissed. I now only have 6 hours to provide accurate memo.
I'm missing my show on Netflix. And my recording box is full. And no it's not my fault I'm lazy.
In the future, teach you're staffing, no hiring agent, the importance of Super Researchers. Glorify me only after I've combined matter and antimatter, or only after I've come back to live another day! If not, till then, save your redundant storytelling for another martyr.
Yours truly, S. Researcher Samantha Rose🌮
Operation: Silk Thread:
: [Interviewer, can be blocked out using █]
Foreword: Super Researcher Samantha Rose, substitutes for Dr. Trebuchet, using Immunity Clearance to add herself to the ranks of Mobile Task Force Zeta-9 ("Mole Rats") for the testing within the perimeter of SCP-████ by uncontrolled conditions.
<Begin Log, [optional time info]>
Captain: Unless you want that to happen, make sure you don't stay out for more than a few seconds. Now that you know the basics. Suits zipped airtight, If there is a rip. You make sure your partner is taken care of.
???: Nah. I'm good. If I falter leave me behind. Also, the battlefield isn't a place for relationship advice, don'tcha you think?
Cadet Williams: A-Are you crazy…!? Do you think— Who are you?
???: Oh, Don't question me on what I think. Ever. Save me your lecture.
Especially if you're ambivalent yourself. Then you'll just bog down the rest of everyone elses effort.Captain Richard: Sorry, beg your pardon, but I don't recall seeing you around my squad. I would know, we hardly have any female members.
???: A volunteer. You'd really think they'd let just anyone sneak onto one of thier most prevalent teams?
Captain Richard: That tone makes me think otherwise — who the hell would volunteer to
do this in the first place?????: Dude… you just summarily roasted yourself and your whole squad.
Captain Richard: …
Sam: That said, It just shows me the depths of your resolve and loyalty loud and clear. The names Sam
O'nella, by the way. I'm with the Ethics Committee. Just decided to tag along to see how things usually play out. Carry on.Captain Richard: Immunity Clearance? And Sam O'nella? are you fucking kidding me? What Is that something you photocopied and made up?
Sam: For your protection, not mine, I'll choose to conceal that information at my own discretion. Also… Yes. It is. Bottom line is. You can't know what my clearance is, because it no longer matters at this point in time, or place. So, If any of you do die, I call dibs. But be ready to take full responsibility.
Captain Richard: The fuck…?
Sam: Research purposes. Don't worry as a member of the Ethics Committee, I'll make sure
proper burial services shall be provided. That's is, if you promise to do the same for me. Sword lily's please!
I don't want to go to waste, either. Imagine if your sphincter muscles atrophied and you were no longer able to hold your anus closed…Captain Richard:… All men… just move out. You have issues. I'll say it for the first time in my career, as a Christian man of the lord. I'll pray for you.
Sam: …Of course. Of course, all this advice may be worthless in the long run, however, the greatest challenge ever for improvement is yourself.
Captain Richard: Huh? Do you say anything?
Sam: Nope. what about another chance encounter? Stare that thing right in the fucking eyes and walk away.
LT Ian: Not about SCP-173.
Sam: Newbie, you would, and who says I already haven't?
LT Ian: Then you wouldn't be here.
Sam: Aren't we all grateful?
Captain Richard: You are an odd one, everyone head out.
End of Recording
Foreword: [Small passage describing the interview]
<Begin Log, [optional time info]>
: The walls are barely keeping together… this is so disorienting. I can never get used to this. Thank god we took the
Sgt. Gabriel: Look in the next room! The entire hall is swapped! The floor and ceiling are flipped. Self-doubt is kicking in and I'm thinking I might be more suited to taking calls instead. Wait… what is private Sam doing!?
Sam: Remember kids… no matter how hard life gets, how much your parents drink and hate each other, feel as though you should've been aborted. Never do crack. Weed is way better. Look at what you'll get? Fun right?
Captian Richard: PRIVATE SAM! PUT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA AWAY! THIS IS A SERIOUS LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION!! Do not compromise the squad!
Sam: Don't care if I don't care, that's a good thing; If I died that'd be a good sign.
Captain Richard: Oh Now I get it. So that's why you volunteered.
Sam: Oh boy… here it goes again…
Captain Richard: Listen. I understand this, this line of work. But handling it like this, is not a way to—
Sam: Your a very good man, Richards. Good for pointing that out for me. I thank you for your kind service, but, Unfortunately, that's not in my self-description.
Captain Richard: …Huh…?
Cadet Williams: Captain! We've found signs of suspicious activity!
Captain Richard: Lead on. Everyone! Follow suit!
Captain Richard: What the hell?
S. Commander Cammy: Hey, ain't that mark of them Insurgents?
Captain Richard: Yeah, but I would expect them to be more covert… unless…
LT Ian: They want us to know it was them—
(Sound of bloody mush exploding with the crumple of plastic)
Captain Richard: Late observation! Take cover!
(Sound of rapid gunfire fill air without a seeable trace)
Cadet Williams: They got Ian! Where are they coming from!? I can't link the bullet trails!
Captain Richard:Move! [speech]
(Something hits a wall. Close gunshot is followed by a loud, near thud on the ground.)
Cadet Williams: Who the fu— I didn't even see—
** Captain Richard:** These! I know'em there the camoflague suits of the GOC. Are they in cohoots!? We need to draw back we can't with stand an onslaught of this caliber!
(Sounds of indirect sporadic gunfire heighten and drown out the rest of the firefight.)
Cadet Williams: If can't see these mother fuckers! Am I even hitting them!?
S. Commander Cammy: Thier suits heighten the human reflex!! By how much, I don't know! How are we gonna get out. Wheres, wheres that volunteer!?
Sgt. Gabriel: Did she get shot!? If she escaped she can be our voice for back up or transceivers are all jammed.
????: Wouldn't bet on it.
Captain Richards: Who…
?????: That woman was a spy for us. Of course… she tried to escape… but we feared she may have developed an affinity for you types. She's gone now.
Agent Leo: She tricked— Still, how can you kill one of your own like that!?
Feather: Easy. It's just business. Now, the Insurgency was so kind as to promote zhis little setup. Entrusting us to test out thier perfected specimen.
S. Commander Cammy: Is that… the mirror!? Aren't you Glocks against utilizing—
Feather: Not if it's in our best interest for understanding.
Captain Richard: Now I see. You betrayed them as well. You want us gone. Two birds one stone? Am I hitting it on the nose?
Agent Leo: Not entirely. Let's see, will vill you last longer?
S. Commander Cammy: No… I can't why did I ever think those nicotine patches would work…
Sgt. Gabriel: We're all doomed…
Captain Richard: Everyone I'm so sorry… I'll never…
Sam: I don't know, will they escape? You've inflicted a basic human trait. How will they ever escape from this. Again your too stupid to anwser, woop.
Interviewer: They are in a perpetual state of dismissive misery. There is no releasing them. Soon there will be nothing of them left. Wait… that voice—
Sam: Hello again.
Feather: What are you!? you're zupposed to be dead!
Sam: Oh, well, Learn to aim. And nothing? You think you can erase things from existence with that thing?
Feather: I shot you in zhe skull. Right zhrough! And yes! It was the same fate of the Insurgents!
Sam: Really. Fuck you then~. And whatever bitch.
Feather: What was it? An illusion? A clone?
Sam: Wow… these aren't normal ordinary assumptions. Like anybody else. I got back up again.
Feather: What kind of stupid bullcrap explanation is zhat!?
Sam: A casual lie. Surprised too lose for the first time too? Oh now I know you, I heard about you in small talk. The legendary Goc wizard, Feather. Your some kind of, undefeatable, super-soldier. A legend, with a 0 lose streak. The GOCS crowning glory? Am I correct?
Interviewer: You shouldn't know that your just zome pawn, a chess piece! You don't have the clearance for that kind of— Now I get it it's you! The one worth 100 reaseachers.
Sam: A game? Who said you were the one in control? Are you aware of who you even invite to play along?
Feather: ….
(Silence grows)
Sam: These battle suits enchance combat capability by 50%. Mental capacity by 30. Composed of Black Dyneema, and one more material, highly unknown.
Feather: Heh… yes, an unknown that we've harnessed. With thorough understanding.
Sam: Called?
Feather: Since I don't expect you lasting long… Logarthym.
Sam: Huh…? No. Your expectations? What the fuck is that? Their Orichatrions. When combined with the Ultra High Molecular Weight of the Dyeema, on that basis the reaction acts like a alternate biological powersource, with physical outputs upon exertion, they are a power
Person: Who—
(Sound of bag unzipping, void opening, heavy, little clinks are heard.)
Sam: … Orichatrions also make up the affinity of chaos that precedes the creation of things. Only refrained within it's local universe. In order to extract those…
Feather: What is that gun—
Sam: I commend you. For you seem to want the same thing as I do. Progress. But the pursuit of knowledge doesn't reward those who follow it for thier own gain, only if…
Sam: The one following it makes the sacrifice themselves!!!
Sam: YOU CAN'T CALL YOUR SELF THE BEST SACRFICING ONLY OTHERS!! I maybe worth 100 researchers but, I stand on the bodies of 1,000 more precious innocent souls who have given up thier lives. All for the defence of a million other countless. Show your marks. It is up to me to make thier sacrifices worth while. That is the
(Whir sounds of winds sucking in, a metal frame rattles.)
Feather: What is happening!!?
Sam: I've done nothing yet. Looks like you can only use it for a certain while before the effect backfires on you as well. So now, It's sucking you in. It can stop. Just, allow it. Don't Let your self care. You claimed to know it's perfected effects? Right?
Feather: I did! Zhey're all dead!
Sam: Denial is deadlier than doubt. Trust me on that — Let me count you all… one-two… three… six… eight… ten!! Looks like you brought one to many.
Feather: Of who— where…
Sam: … you don't actually think that one little mirror was enough? Is the reason for thier deaths, do you?
Sam: They didn't want to give me what I wanted, out of reluctance they showed the neighborhood. If you had seen the fauna, no it wouldn't of mattered any way. Everything would be lost. Who is standing beside you now?
Feather: What is this— Where has the building gone!?
Sam: We're standing in it.
Feather: Liar we are not! It's changed to— Who are… my men.. they are… static!!
Sam: Congratulations, Agent Feather, they see you as one of thier own. You are wearing their colors, after all. But that's, not a full distinction, is it?
Feather: (Loud distorted heaves and screeches) I…I hate you! Everything that ever was! All of you bastards! You shouldn't ever exist! Especially you! Samantha Rose!
Sam: How talionic, you act as if I’ve smited you, too bad, I feel no need to support your assumption. I won’t be demonstrating to you without proper investment or cause! If you wish to illicit conflict for the sake of superficially abolishing independent moral authority. Get out of my face! Now, I’m bored, if your all done with your little pity party. I’ll be heading back inside now.
Feather: Y-you… can't percieve us!
Sam: Why?
Feather: …
Sam: Can you anwser your own question or is it as difficult as you say it is for me?
Feather/Patternscreamer: We will not be aware! Be aware from us!!
Sam: You're only as tall as the world will let you be, and you're only as small as the world will make you seem. With only a handful you let live… the ones you let survive, or are you just as unsure as they, and that metes out your misery?
Feather/Patternscreamer: …
Sam: You wish to maintain this pattern, order, whilst born of chaos. Your comfort is not what lies beyond the stars, but the abyss. This is what ires you. Inevitability. You scream to escape. A prison built of nothing but your own dellusion of hatred. Long forgotten.
Sam: Forgotten…
Sam: No…
Sam: I wouldn't call you forgotten… I would call see you as… lost.
< LOG CORRUPTED>
Visual and Audio recovered from the personal iPhone of Samantha Rose.
<Dialouge intake:> Source Unknown: LOST WHAT IS LOST WERE ARE NOT LOST WE ARE RIGHT HERE!!!
<Dialouge intake:> S. Researcher Samantha Rose: And right here you'll stay.
<Dialouge intake:> Source Unknown: YOU, WHO YOU ARE NOW»> THE ONE ABOVE THE HIGHEST PEAKS, ABOVE THE ABOVE, SOURCE OF ALL SOURCES—
<Dialouge intake:> S. Researcher Samantha Rose: What are you, high?
<Dialouge intake:> Source Unknown: NO WE—
<Dialouge intake:> S. Researcher Samantha Rose: "Never mind, actually I am
<Dialouge intake:> S. Researcher Samantha Rose: Now, why don't we make this quick, and switch scenery.
0:00 A weapon, resembling an eggbeater, the one heard determined to be the one accompanied by noises of the void, is aimed. Sound of plasma evisceration. Blue electromagnetic waves and ash scatter everywhere.
0:00 Blue electromagnetic waves and ash scatter everywhere.
0:00 Enemy agent Feather and GOC cohorts are no where to be seen.
___
<Memo: audio recoding system Recovery.>
T.T.A.P broadcast: REALITY SHIFT DETECTED. Synopsis: Multiple entities of compromise present. THREAT LEVEL: MEGA
5:12 Site 13's perimeter alarms go off in tandem. Appearing on a large Island. The landing of site instills 6.7 level earthquake to nearby towns and residences on the outskirts.
5:12 SCP-001 instance, SCP-2845, and an unknown tuberous lifeform, similar to that of a mutated Amazon leech, appears engaged in combat
Error Researcher Samantha Rose disperses "EyeBots" for drone surveillance.
_
Personal log of Samantha Rose
My Eyebot's, you see kids running around with thier drones, evading people's privacy, being annoying as all fuck. They get caught in trees of creation, hit fences of reality, get shot down by enemies with highly sensitive thaumaturgic tracking.
Polish all that off and what do you get? Well, let's see…
__
Error Droids hover about and inherently avoid the carnage, gaining critical vantage points of the battle scene.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose draws once again her Hyperversal-Spanner. Runs, her image blurs amidst the pandemonium, a back arch over an energy beam swung by SCP-001, she tossed what appears to be a cube. SCP-2845s' form is made holographic and absorbed inside.
Timestamp Invalid SCP-001 swing of the previous position of SCP-2845s is unseen. Presumed cause of the destruction of a distant mountain range.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose draws lines of light in the air that fly and expand to the mountain range before the impulse. Gaps between severed mountain peaks reconnect, wind reverses, replanting and putting back to place things while hiding damages???
Timestamp Invalid SCP-001 Appears to strike at Dr.S. Rose and the huge unknown worm-like being entering a red pit. Creatures segments are immolated and flung far above the site structure. Several meters are scraped off the landscape. Screeches are heard more damage is done by the thrashing and distortions.
Timestamp Invalid Strike joins with Dr. S. Rose who moves a blade of her own. The convergence of the blows disintegrates the force. SCP-001 strikes again. Dr. S. Rose redirects it towards at it in a change of tactic.
Timestamp Invalid It's unclear what happens between frames, but Dr. S. Rose appears next behind SCP-001, who is seen also while several explosions erupted in the vacuum it is in. Dr. S. Rose throws away her blade and sprints forward. Is a white hole open?
Timestamp Invalid Things appear to collapse in a loud howl.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose springs near. Aiming Hyperversal Spanner. LOADING GRAVITY DISPERSAL. Flashes of stars are seen scattered around. Orbs or what can only be hypothesized as gravity, disperse.
Timestamp Invalid White hole disappears. SCP-001 is nowhere in the vicinity after.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose lands. Wiping ash off her brow.
Timestamp Invalid Creature from prior attack rises from its groveling behind. Sets its sights on Dr. S. Rose, it's here its shown to have more than one red eye.
Timestamp Invalid Vinelike tentacles that (harbor darkness?) lashed out at Dr. S. Rose. More sprout out in the thick of fleeing and move fast.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose hops her way up tendrils to the biggest eye.
Timestamp Invalid Creature gacks a shower of blood. All droplets form pellets that rain down as needles towards Dr. S. Rose who hangs and swings off.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose creates some kind of green barrier but is subsequently impaled in the back and lower leg as she reaches the ground.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose runs along and under lashes of tentacles; she throws off her tattered coat, some spines come off, she winces.
Timestamp Invalid Grabbing hold. She rides the tail end of one to the top of the creature. A sharp scale is a perfect sword on her way. Slightly injured, she plunges into its injured, gaping chasm, falling past rows of razor-sharp teeth.
Timestamp Invalid Healed segment immolates. Inflates. Carapace cracks. Firey light Escaped through the rifts of jagged scales through rifts. Inch by inch it grows and explodes.
Timestamp Invalid Firestorm proceeds. Rain of insides skyrockets with a red beam to the heavens above, making an eye through the overcast clouds. Rays of the sunshine beam through the gaps in the sky. Dr. S. Rose is seen hissing, reason unknown.
Timestamp Invalid Dr. S. Rose, partially nude is seen climbing down a tree.
FEED UNAVAILABLE
Partial Audio log and visuals extract from Captain Richards onboard recorder and camcorder.
8:21 Captain Richard awakes alongside Cadet Williams, Sgt. Gabriel, Search Commander Cammy, Agent Leo and the rest of the survivors of Mobile Task Force Zeta-9 ("Mole Rats").
Captain Richard: Where is… Is everyone alright!? Come in!
Sgt. Williams: I'm good— Where the fuck!? Come on just stop already!
8:25 Search Commander Cammy shakes head and looks at the symbol on the wall.
S. Commander Cammy: Woah! No! Hold it right fuckin' there! Were in…
Captain Richard: This is Site-13!?
Sam: Yeah. I'm surprised the big ass earthquake wasn't enough to wake you all up.
Captain Richard: How in the hell— What happened!?
Sam: That spot I brought you too was Site-13… or at least a part of it — but I guess for that narrative it was 3930. Still, there had to be a trace. Not where the original site was plucked of course. It was replaced. I guess… I made a big enough signal for it to hear. and re-establish.
Captain Richard: How the fuck!?
Sam: Killing a pattern screamer, creating a Way, bringing familiar elements together. An alliance between the Foundation, and GOC, the one with the insurgency. You make a manifestation of fate. Of course, the end results will be the same or attract the outcome, but that wasn't the main directive…
Captain Richard: Then what!? What was the meaning of all this!?
8:32 Dr. Rose stands and faces Captain Richard resolutely, she flicks out a lighter to mouth level, lighting a huge blunt.
Sam: I wanted to test out some new toys I made. I also thought it might be nostalgic, the new Mole Rat Captain, at the Site where his superior lost her mind. How's it feel? Being back? Richard?
8:35 Captain Richard takes an agitated stance, rears himself at Sam threateningly, grabbing her collar.
Captain Richard: You put our lives… in jeopardy just so you can run a few tests!? We didn't even know where we were!!
Sam: Why don't you ask? What are you? Part of the Insurgencys' blind loyalty.
Captain Richard: For all we know we were being sent too— What Division are you really apart of!? Are you really even apart of the foundation!?
8:35 A grin of mirth is seen on Doctor Roses face, who jerked back and twisted her arm from his grasp. Captain Richard stands his ground.
Sam: Our enemies are the gone and my allies are the only ones left standing. Shouldn't that say enough?
8:38 Captain Richard lunges in rage and attempts to tackle Doctor Rose, who sweeps his leg, grabs his wrist and flips him overhead.
Sam: The only reason your here, and she isn't, is because you're able to keep it together, not for yourself but for everyone else. I'm not the reason most of them got out alive, you are. I don't call the shots. Don't ruin that right now by making an ass out of yourself, Captian. Unfortunately, I'm all that stands between the Council, you, and some administrative drama! I'd take it easy if I were you…
Captain Richard:
This isn't over. You may be right but… but…
8:46 Captain Richard passes out, later determined to be of concussion.
S. Commander Cammy: Cap!
8:58 Medical treatment is begun by Senior Commander Cammy Air infirmary squadron 5 arrives.
Sam: I called you guys a helicopter. Help is on the way. You can get out of here safely. Mobile Task Force Beta-7 and Mobile TF Gamma-5 will come to assist you.
Sgt. Williams: W-who are you really?
Sam: I can't do that. Sorry.
9:01 Eyebots fly down, Sam hangs down from a holographic bar put between, connecting both, and hovers off to the clouds.
Sam: I hope we meet again!
__
Performance Review
05-4:
Dr. Rose: Don't even start to thank me, what's your excuse now? Your flattery is shit!! Well!? How long has this shit been going on?!! Look how quickly this could have been handled! Why did it have to get this far!? Have you all been sitting on your asses? Keeping all the good shit to yourselves!? You let so much stuff go to waste!
05-6: Researcher Samantha Rose if you could please— we don't have easy access to you as other plotlines, we do what we can.
Dr. Rose: Get your shit together!! "One bad step, and you know what comes next!!" Doesn't mean cower in fear of your own capacity!! Your fear of uncertainty is as deadly as the monsters, by delay! This is just sad. Honestly. And you call yourselves individuals behind those false Identities!?
05-8 We're the ones who called you here.
Dr. Rose And quit wasting my time and let me do my job!! I have memos to send you. You don't have to see me personally! This is counterproductive as all shit. Shit needs to get done!! And while you're all here twiddling your thumbs— this is why I didn't want your spots.
05-3: That is why we gave you Immunity Clearance so that it would not suck up all the competent personnel, leaving other critical areas handicapped for talent.
Dr. Rose So that I!? What Am I gonna do about thier funeral costs!? There is no difference, between this cost and thier traumas. The only difference is that they have each other. For goodness sake. Why are you so afraid?! No one's asking you to step out into the light. Just show you're not so dim.
05-4:
You're the only one we can trust… what can we say, can we give that up?
Dr. Rose:
I'll come after you if you fuck up regardless. Like me. The monsters chase me, I chase right back times 11. You're not exempt from discipline even with the promise of companionship. Should you cross the threshold again, I promise I will execute you on the spot. If you don't endure and direct a change, I'll keep on going, and push on with your goal in mind! Fuck your plot induced stupidity.
05-2 Thank you… you are the only one we can trust; you are the light even in our darkest of times.
Dr. Rose: Don't be cheesy, here you asked me to get this.
(There's a loud clank. Glass pitter-patters in what sounds like a plastic bag being tossed.)
05-4: It's broken.
Dr. Rose: Came that way. Just put the shards back in. I can't expect everything to come out perfectly.
05-4 Can we trust you with another task…? Without the profane backlash?
Dr. Rose: No. You'll get what's coming to you, karmas a bitch. Now listen: This is embarrassing, and you call your self human beings? Now how am I gonna get out of here? By listening to your bullshit?
05-10 Naturally, as always, we expect nothing less, from our Personal Super Agent.
Dr. Rose: personal my ass, I'm here one day then gone the next… Fine, what is it then?
