scpcrnp
rating: 0

Item #: SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J

Object Class: A Priori

Figure 1. A suspected on-screen manifestation, taken during a viewing of D████y's Mu██n 2. Duration is 4 milliseconds. A remodeling of the unadulterated cognitohazard (inactive, bottom-left) is included for comparison.

Special Containment Procedures It is mandatory that Foundation researchers involved in the here-mentioned studies not view any movie suspected of containing instances of SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J in order to preserve clinical objectivity. In the event of approved, research-oriented screenings, testers not of the control group are not to participate without non-repudiated cellophane lenses impregnated with tourmaline-based anaglyph technology that are capable of antagonizing Aleph Meta level cognitoadverse effects. To protect further, and as a failsafe in the event of (1) an equipment malfunction or (2) the emergence of tourmaline-resistant instances, testers are to maintain 75% contraction of their orbicularis oculi muscles1 for the duration of the film(s). Electrodes may be placed to assist in the sustainment of said contractions.

The current model of approved spectacles. Must be worn at all times during viewing. Click to enhance.

Two (2) ($x= {b + \sqrt{b^2-4ac} \over 2a},$ where $a=0.66, b=1.47,$ and $c= 0.3$) security personnel per participating theater are to covertly crouch outside the cinematic premiers of movies fitting the likely habitat of SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$-J, stenographing the content and calculating the concentration of both favorable and unfavorable criticisms as movie-goers leave the theater or venue. If approached with suspicion by any non-Foundation personnel, agents are to immediately begin diversional maneuvers as outlined by Protocol SQRT—1.2

Description: SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$-J refers to a 3-part spatial anomaly
…ah s███…
is a VHS tape that
is a pack of anomalous crayons
…aah, nope…
is a product marketed by a "Dado"
a f███ing plush toy
…no damn it…
is a "BE-Class-'Migration'-End-of-Consciousness
-Scenario"-worthy entity

…for f███'s sake…
is a compulsion-impinging musical instrument
is a series of obtuse ritual motions
is a bacterium that causes a progressive, four-stage infectious disease

3

Dr. Walton Matthus Banks, Ph.D.'s employee badge (censored).

SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J is a set of theoretical Aleph-Class audiovisual cognitohazards, first postulated in 2008 by Dr. Walton Matthus Banks, Ph.D. to explain wholly or in part the financial success and continuation of unfavorably-reviewed installments4 in modern movie franchises. Foundation investigation arose after reports of conglomerate review-scores were consistently disproportionate to the gross domestic earnings of the films.

“I personally don’t think the new installment of the B██y Gen██s franchise is very good at all but am I definitely going to see the next one in the theater? Yes. Why is this so? Is it explained by viewer optimism? Not likely. Motivating marketing? No it really isn’t. Am I a sucker? Hell no, I'm mother-f█████g Dr. Walton Matthus Banks, Ph.D.

No, I will see the next movie because of some unexplained impetus to hand over my money when better judgment and history has reliably displayed that it will not be worth seeing in the theater and that if I watch it at all, I probably should wait until it is available either on Netf███ or Red B██ or some other platform. The movie-going experience is great and will always be a part of our culture but when it is to see a movie I fully understand will not be all that great…I dunno…it's almost as if…

…hey Jacob, didn’t the previous Lead Researcher say something about making a deal with Dis███ about some cognitohazard that can be subliminally put in movies?5 That assh███.”

Thus our work began.
The rest is history, Jimmy.

- Dr. Banks

The theoretical basis for SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J was likely developed in 2001 by former Site-42 Memetics & Cognitohazards Department Lead Researcher and assh███ ██████ ██████████6, who retired in 2005 and specifically promised the Foundation that he wouldn't share the cognitohazard with film studio executives for an obvious financial application. SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J is assumed to now be in the possession of all major film studio and distribution corporations in the United States.

 The Foundation understands squinting for 2 hours at a time can be hard. Agent Rodgers enjoys the help from the provided electrodes.

Upon witnessing SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J, and with increasing enthusiasm after each exposure, individuals will be willing or inclined to see a proposed next installment in the series. Additionally, individuals with a Psychic Resistance Scale score of ≤ 657 will respond with critical enthusiasm to the film employing descriptors such as "well done", "awesome", "really really good", and in the case of sequels, "even better than the last one,” regardless of the installment's content. Foundation anomalosensitive modeling predicts that the severity of SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J instances is to increase as a result of current 3D/IMAX film technology by orders of magnitude approximating 12 Michael Bays (or $0.\overline{9394}$ Jerry Bruckheimers).8,9

While it has not been proven per se that the implicated corporations possess the capacity to create SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$ -J, the likelihood of the observed outcome(s) with respect to the films' ratings and earnings without the use of SCP-$\sqrt{-1}$-J is $\approx {1 \over 9.6e968}$, rendering the assumption (1) axiomatic with respect to the conceptual comprehension of the observed gross revenue numbers, and (2) pragmatically actionable as fact.10

Treatment options for those exposed are currently limited. The administration of Class X amnestics yield no appreciable reduction in enthusiasm for future installments despite the successful eradication of relevant memories (See Amnestic-Facilitated Interrogation: PoI $\sqrt{-1}$).

Figure 2. Foundation Agents (the adults plus Dr. ”Jimmy” Kerosara, circled, just prior to sneezing on a Class-C participant) attending a screening of Air B██ 3: World ███. This was part of a randomized trial to test the efficacy of the then-available safety goggles (pictured model is now repudiated).

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