SGRemix
rating: 0+x

Item #: 3274-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3274-J is currently not containable. SCP-3274-J is currently held in Site ██ in a large customized humanoid chamber approximately 20 meters wide by 15 meters long and 6 meters high. Under no circumstances (other than testing or repairs) is anyone allowed inside SCP-3274-J containment chamber. SCP-3274-J's chamber is modeled to resemble a club with a stage and stand-up microphone where SCP-3274-J usually standing in front of its audience or in the backstage. SCP-3274-J's audience is made up of 25 mechanical, humanoid beings seated at tables in different amounts, some tables empty. These humans have voice boxes that will make a laughing noise whenever SCP-3274-J vocalizes. Repairs are conducted about every 72 hours whenever SCP-3274-J is not paying attention or, usually the case, backstage.

Description: SCP-3274-J appears as a man aged 20 to 36 in clubs during a stand-up comedy act. When it goes up to on stage it tells puns. Whatever is said in the puns materializes from an unknown source, which he uses to kill the audience if the pun’s effects didn’t already. SCP-3274-J has killed over a documented 1,000 people. When first captured SCP-3274-J dissipated and reformed at another comedy act where it killed the audience immediately. The source of SCP-3275-J’s anomolous powers are currently unknown.

Interviewed: SCP-3274-J.
Interviewer: Dr. ████████
Foreword: This is an interview between SCP-3274-J and Dr. ████████ over intercom.
<Begin Log, ██/██/████>
Dr. ████████: So, SCP-2374-J I want to ask you a few questions.
SCP-3274-J:You know, I have a bone to pick with you too.
Dr. ████████: What do you me-.
SCP-3274-J: Hahahahahahahaha!
SCP-3275-J was now holding a skull.
Dr. ████████ fell back in his chair, dead.
<End Log, ██/██/████>
Closing Statment: All further interactions between anyone of clearance level 3 or higher with SCP-3274-J is now forbidden by order of O5-██

Addendum A-1: As of ██/██/19██ SCP-3274-J has been growing suspicious and has appeared to have figured out the voice box mechanism by making any noise into the microphone. Severe caution is advised for it is not know what are the limits of SCP-3274-J's powers.