Sheldon's constant misfortune

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently being kept in a standard anomalous containment locker.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a singular VHS tape produced by Vikander-Kneed Technical Media. Recorded on SCP-XXXX is a poorly produced version of an American television sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. On the VHS tape is the title "Sheldon Plots A Murder" written in red permanent marker. The actors portraying the characters in the show are dissimilar to the original actors cast. Included below is a transcript of the episode:

The theme song of the big bang theory plays.

The camera shows Leonard watching the television, sitting in Sheldon's spot on the couch.

Sheldon walks in.

SHELDON:
Wha- Leonard? What are you doing?

LEONARD:
I'm just watching some TV. Wanna join?

SHELDON:
No I - sure. I'll just sit over here.

Sheldon sits in the seat to the right of Leonard.

LEONARD:
Here, have some nachos.

Leonard hands Sheldon a bowl of nachos, that is on the table in front of him.

SHELDON:
No thank you.

LEONARD:
What? Why not?

SHELDON:
I've put it off for as long as I can but- Look at where you are sitting!

LEONARD:
Oh get over yourself, Sheldon.

SHELDON:
Excuse me?

Leonard stands up and looks down at Sheldon.

LEONARD:
You act like a child whenever anyone touches your crap. GET OVER YOURSELF.

SHELDON:
I don't think I will "get over myself".

LEONARD:
Then move out. You self-absorbed nut.

SHELDON:
What? What did you just say?

LEONARD:
You heard me. Pack and get out.

Cut to Sheldon standing in the middle of the room, with a suitcase, backpack, and a duffle bag.

SHELDON:
You will regret this.

Cut again to Sheldon outside the door, with Leonard slamming the door shut. Sheldon looks around, his head stopping at Penny's door. He walks to the door, puts his duffel bag down and his suitcase aside.

SHELDON:
(knocks three times)
Penny!
(knocks three times again)
Penny!

PENNY (from inside the door):
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, SHELDON!?

SHELDON:
Come to the door!

Sounds can be heard, of Penny walking up to the door. There is a clicking noise, and Penny opens the door.

PENNY:
What?

SHELDON:
Leonard and me had a fight and-

PENNY:
Did he finally blow up because you're such a self-absorbed bastard?

SHELDON:
Yes! How did you know?

PENNY:
I live near you, Sheldon. I heard you two bickering. Anyways, good for him. Goodbye now.

Penny proceeds to close the door, which Sheldon intercepts with his foot.

SHELDON:
He kicked me out! Please, may I please move in?

PENNY:
With me? Here? Never. Go away.

Sheldon sighs, picks up his duffle bag and suitcase, then moves forward. He faces the broken-down elevator and kicks it.

SHELDON:
You know what? I really could use you right now.

Sheldon faces the stairwell and attempts to use it. He then proceeds to trip down the staircase. Cut to the bottom of the staircase, where we see him, fallen down with his bags on the floor.

SHELDON:
Damn it! That hurt.