Per 
These articles are works in progress.
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He Will Never Be Ballin': - Probably my dumbest SCP yet.
The Hoarder: My first tale, based off of my first SCP. Serves as a sort of origin story/look into another perspective.
Consumption of Knowledge: A predator that lurks in the depths of the Marianas Trench. Very long SCP, I have yet to finish the first draft. Taking a break from this one, will return to it eventually.
Item #: SCP-096B-J
Object Class: Euclid Safe
Special Containment Procedures:
Description:
Addendum:
A figure laid motionless at the bottom of a stairwell. Its arms, legs, and neck were bent like a contortionist's. Dust and dirt coated the clothing it was wearing, as if it had remained there motionless for several years. If someone had seen this, they would've rightfully assumed it to be the victim of some violent crime or terrible accident. This figure, however, never had any life to begin with.
Opening its eyes for the first time in what felt like forever, the entity attempted to right itself. Rotating and cracking, a horrible screeching noise filled the room as its limbs slowly returned to their normal positions. Rising to its feet, it tried to recall what had happened. It's name… It never had one. It had been living with a man, who it struggled to recall more about for the time being. It had been left here by that man, deemed a failure of some sort. But none of that truly mattered. What mattered now was finding something to work with.
It scanned the room, noticing a metallic glimmer in the corner. It tried to take a step forward, only to have its knee buckle under its own weight. This surprised it, but only momentarily. It sluggishly dragged its weight towards the source, determined to see if this was what it needed.
In the corner of the room was a small pile of iron pipes, which the entity wasted no time in getting to work on. Sparks filled the room as it cut, reshaped, and resized the pipes as if they were made of play-dough. Several hours later it finished, yielding a snake-like machine that began slowly slithering around the room. This was an outstanding creation, but just one wouldn't be enough. The figure would need to make more, just like it always had.
It turned its attention to the stairs, and the light at the top of them. Moving was starting to get easier for it, but stairs would be a daunting task. Hauling itself across the room, it managed to reach the stairs and ascended them with difficulty. Collapsing on the final step, it righted itself to reveal a heavenly sight: an entire facility filled with raw metallic resources. By pure luck, it had been dumped off at an abandoned metal refinery.
SCP-XXXX instance in containment at Site-66.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX instances located in their natural habitat are to be studied and monitored by the Deep-Sea Marianas Trench outpost. A population census of the SCP-XXXX species is to be conducted yearly by MTF Kappa-33 "Dream Fishers". Any SCP-XXXX instances found above a depth of 2,000 meters are to be transferred to Site-66 for research.
SCP-XXXX instances contained at Site-66 are to be held within a 30,000 liter glass aquarium. All on-site instances must undergo sterilization, and no more than 150 individuals may be kept at once. SCP-XXXX instances are fed weekly, but may not be exposed to any other organisms or documents without approval from Level-4 personnel.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a predatory species of ray-finned fish, measuring from 0.3 to 0.5 meters long and weighing an average of 6 kilograms. The SCP-XXXX species bears numerous physical similarities to that of Hypostomus plecostomus1, most notably in similar head and mouth structure. SCP-XXXX instances, referred to hereafter as SCP-XXXX-1, live long lifespans, averaging 270 years. SCP-XXXX-1 are native to the Marianas Trench, being observed at depths as deep as 6,000 meters. SCP-XXXX-1 possess powerful hearing, a feature which they use to seek prey.
SCP-XXXX-1's anomalous affects are shown when it attempts to consume its prey. As opposed to consuming the body of its prey, it consumes the memories of its prey. SCP-XXXX-1 feed by attaching their mouths to prey, usually near the cranial area. SCP-XXXX-1 then "siphons" memories from prey in a process taking anywhere from 120 to 500 seconds, depending on the age of the subject. After a complete feeding, prey are rendered brain-dead. The memories SCP-XXXX-1 consume are stored in a large cylindrical organ in its lower abdomen, where they are slowly digested. This process takes anywhere from 10 to 75 years.
SCP-XXXX-1 are pack hunters, typically hunting in schools of 50-100 individuals. Schools will feed on any medium to large sized animals, and are known to occasionally take part in cannibalism. Schools will reproduce annually, with each female laying a singular egg. Upon hatching, SCP-XXXX-1 mature within 2 years.
Addendum XXXX-1: Extraction
SCP-XXXX was first documented following the discovery of corpses near the bottom of the Marianas Trench. These corpses usually belonged to whales, sharks, or other large deep-sea fauna. The bodies lacked signs of injury, illnesses, or any other causes of premature death. This prompted investigation, which soon led to the discovery of SCP-XXXX. MTF Kappa-33 was later sent to extract specimens from a school. The following is a transcript of the expedition.
SCP-XXXX Extraction Log Transcript
Date: ██/██/1997
MTF: MTF Kappa-33 "Dream Fishers"
Team: K33-01, K33-02, K33-03, K33-Cap
Equipment: (5) harpoons, (1) capture device, (5) deep sea pressure suits
[BEGIN LOG]
Log is shot from a camera mounted on K33-02's chest. K33-01, K33-02, K33-03, and K33-Cap are positioned at the airlock of the K33 Deep Sea Submarine. They are wearing extreme pressure suits, and are armed with harpoons.
K33-02: Camera is rolling.
K33-Cap: 01, 03, do you copy?
K33-03: Copy.
K33-01: Copy.
K33-Cap: Okay. Remember, we're here to extract specimens, preferably living ones. Use the collector and only use your harpoons if you absolutely have to. We still don't know much about these things, so be prepared for anything.
K33-02: Roger that.
As the airlock opens, water immediately begins to flood into the chamber. The team maintains their positions until the chamber is completely filled.K33-Cap: Let's move.
The team exits the submarine and activates their suit propulsion systems. Small jets of air are emitted from their suit as they move through the water. The area surrounding them is illuminated by floodlights on their shoulders.
K33-01: How far are we from the school?
K33-Cap: Uhh… (Pause) About two kilometers.
K33-01: Jesus. We couldn't have gotten any closer?
K33-Cap: Negative. We're not sure what these things are capable of, it'd be too much of a risk.
K33-01: Fine, let's just keep moving.
The team advances through the water towards the school. After 10 minutes of moving, the team is now approximately 650 meters from the school.
K33-03: Got visual on one. 10 o'clock, about 6 meters.
K33-02: Roger. 01, hand me the stick.
K33-01 hands K33-02 the capture device, a long pole with a cylindrical pod at the end. K33-02 turns to face the SCP-XXXX instance. As the flood light illuminates the instance, it quickly swims away.
K33-02: Damn it, the light scared it off.
K33-01: Was that really the thing? I expected it to be a lot bigger or, you know, scarier.
K33-Cap: Intel confirms that was an instance. Dim your lights, we don't want to scare off another one.
K33-01: Yeah, yeah.
The team dims their lights, and continues to move forward. The team stops at approximately 400 meters from the school when they spot more instances.
K33-03: There's two to the right. (Points towards instances) They're both a bit bigger than the last one.
K33-Cap Noted. 02, move in and capture them.
K33-02: Affirmative.
As K33-02 flips a switch on the capture device, the pod on the tip of the pole splits open into four pieces. K33-02 slowly approaches the SCP-XXXX instances. K33-02 thrusts his pole towards the nearer instance, as the further flees. The pod closes around the instance, trapping it.
K33-02: Got one. Sending it back to command.
K33-02 presses a button on the capture device. The pod detaches from the pole and propels itself in the direction of the submarine. K33-02 takes a replacement pod from K33-01 and reloads.
K33-01: Two pods left, then we can go back.
K33-03: Can we hurry up? I'm feeling kind of uneasy here.
K33-Cap: Sure. Does anyone know wh-
K33-01: (Screaming)
K33-02 turns quickly to face K33-01. An SCP-XXXX instance is attached to the glass on the front of his suit.
K33-01: Shit, Shit! Get it off! Get… Ge…
K33-02: Damn it 01, stop thrashing!
K33-Cap draws her harpoon and stabs the instance, killing it. She pulls the body off of the spear, and hands it to K33-02, who uses another pod on it.
K33-03: 01! Can you hear me? Are you okay?
K33-02: Shit, he's unconscious! Captain, get over here!
K33-Cap: I'm coming! 03, watch our back for more of those things.
K33-Cap draws a medical syringe and injects it into K33-01 using an access port on his arm. K33-01 begins to regain consciousness.
K33-01: (Moaning)
K33-02: 01, are you there?
K33-01 W-what happened? Did it get me?
K33-02: Yeah, we got it off. Let's keep moving, if you're ready.
K33-01: Yeah, thanks.
K33-01 is seen fumbling with the controls on his suit. He appears to be confused.
K33-01: Uh… How do I use this thing again?
K33-Cap: Ha-ha, very funny. Quit playing jokes and get a move on.
K33-01: No, seriously, I can't-
Command: (Interrupting) K33, sonar readings indicate that the school is rapidly approaching your position. Abort the mission and return to the sub ASAP.
K33-Cap: Shit… Turn around now! We have to go!
K33-01: I told you, I can't-
K33-Cap: We don't have time for this. You two, carry him!
The team jets backwards towards the submarine. K33-01 is seen being carried by K33-02 and K33-03.
Command: Closing in. 200 meters.
K33-Cap: Can you two go any faster?
K33-02: We can't, 01 is slowing us down!
K33-Cap: Keep carrying him, we're almost there.
Command: 100 meters.
K33-03: I don't think we're gonna make it…
K33-Cap: Harpoons ready!
Command: 20 Met-
A large, black mass of SCP-XXXX instances suddenly swarms into view of the camera. The team is quickly overwhelmed, and the camera view becomes obscured.
Command: Captain, do you read me?
K33-Cap: (Indistinguishable)
Fifteen seconds after losing contact with K33, a loud noise2 is heard. The noise causes them to scatter, un-obscuring the view of the camera. The bodies of the team members are seen floating through the water.
[END LOG]
Note: Following the extraction of SCP-XXXX specimens, K33-02 was discovered alive among the bodies of the other K33 members. K33-02 was diagnosed with severe memory loss, and all attempts to jog his memory resulted in failure. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties were documented shortly afterwards.
Addendum XXXX-2: Recovered Memories
Research conducted on the extracted specimens revealed the unique digestive system of SCP-XXXX-1. Following this discovery, on-site scientist Dr. H. Walter suggested that it may be possible to extract memories from SCP-XXXX instances before they are fully digested. Testing this hypothesis, the Foundation attempted to extract memories from a dissected SCP-XXXX-1 instance using Nuclear Magnetic Resonance devices3. The tests were successful, and the Foundation promptly began further memory extraction from SCP-XXXX instances. Below are notable transcripts of recovered memories.
Extracted Memory Transcript - 01
Estimated Date: ██/██/1985
Subject: One Architeuthis dux (Giant Squid)
[BEGIN LOG]
<0:00:00> Subject is ascending upwards from the trench, presumably searching for prey.
<0:03:21> Subject is attacked by a Physeter macrocephalus (Sperm Whale). The whale grips the subject's tendrils with its mouth to prevent escape. The subject grapples onto the whale and retaliates. The two continue to struggle for some time.
<0:05:13> Subject breaks free from the grasp of its aggressor and begins rapidly descending. No signs of pursuit are seen.
<0:07:23> As it is descending, the subject accidentally impacts a school of SCP-XXXX instances. The school immediately becomes hostile and begins attacking. Subject attempts to flee but is swarmed by SCP-XXXX-1.
<0:07:35> Subject's movements grow weaker, and the memory fades to white.
[END LOG]
Note: I still can't believe that actually worked. We need to conduct more tests immediately, imagine the implications of this! ~ Dr. Henry
Extracted Memory Transcript - 03
Estimated Date: ██/██/1945
Subject: One SCP-XXXX-1
[BEGIN LOG]
<0:00:00> Subject is swimming with approximately 30 other SCP-XXXX instances. Visibility is highly limited.
<0:03:52> A Submarine with the Foundation insignia on the side passes over the subject. The school stops and begins to turn towards the submarine.
<0:04:03> The subject and surrounding SCP-XXXX instances become hostile and begin to attack the submarine. The sub sounds its horn, but the SCP-XXXX instances appear to be unaffected by the noise.
<0:05:23> The noise produced by the horn attracts a larger school of approximately 50 SCP-XXXX instances. The two schools collide, and begin to consume one another. The submarine accelerates and escapes in the ensuing chaos.
<0:06:30> An SCP-XXXX instance latches onto the subject, and the memory quickly fades to white after a brief struggle.
[END LOG]
Note: Can we work on identifying that submarine? Assuming we estimated the date right, this occurred long before SCP-XXXX was first discovered. The crew have some explaining to do. ~ Dr. Henry
Extracted Memory Transcript - 05
Estimated Date: ██/██/1995
Subject: One Mitsukurina owstoni (Goblin Shark)
[BEGIN LOG]
<0:00:00> Subject is swimming downwards into the Marianas trench. Visibility is highly limited.
<0:05:32> Subject approaches a steep cliff and begins to swim alongside it. Growing hungry, the subject begins to search for prey.
<0:11:43> Sensing numerous electric fields4, the subject begins to move upwards towards the source.
<0:13:15> The subject finds a large crack in the face of the cliff, with the source of the fields on the other side. The subject slips through a gap in the cliff face and approaches the source.
<0:14:02> On the other side of the crack is a cave containing what appears to be an abandoned Foundation facility5. Dim lights illuminate the outside of the facility, highlighting a weathered Foundation emblem.
<0:17:52> The subject enters the facility, searching for the source of the fields. The facility, which seems to be a former research outpost, still appears to be powered despite being completely flooded.
<0:19:32> The subject approaches the center of the facility, which seems to contain a generator-like device. Numerous metallic protrusions extend from the device, covering a large area of the room. Around the generator are numerous SCP-XXXX instances, some of which are resting on the previously mentioned protrusions.
<0:20:02> The subject attacks and consumes a nearby SCP-XXXX instance. The remaining instances immediately become hostile and attack the subject.
<0:20:31> Following a brief struggle, the memory fades to white.
[END LOG]
Note: I've notified O5. We need to conduct an exploration of that facility as soon as possible. Prepare Kappa-33 for an expedition, and for the love of god, give them better equipment than last time. ~ Head Researcher Coleman
Addendum XXXX-3: Facility Exploration
Following the extraction of memory XXXX-5, a facility was discovered in the Marianas Trench. After being properly equipped, MTF Kappa-33 was dispatched to investigate and recover any documentation that could identify the facility.
Facility Exploration Log Transcript
Date: ██/██/1999
MTF: MTF Kappa-33 "Dream Fishers"
Team: K33-05, K33-08, K33-09, K33-11, K33-Cap
Equipment: (5) harpoons, (5) deep sea pressure suits, (2) pressure cannons, (3) decoys, (1) camera drone
[BEGIN LOG]
Log is shot from a camera drone following the team. K33-05, K33-08, K33-09, K33-11, and K33-Cap are positioned at the entrance to the cliff. The K33 Deep Sea Submarine can be seen a few dozen meters from the team.
K33-Cap: Camera drone is active. Command, are you seeing anything?
Command: We have visual. Proceed with the exploration.
K33-Cap: Affirmative. Everyone on me, we're going in.
K33-05: Roger.
The team enters the crack, with the drone following shortly after. The facility appears unchanged from the memory it was discovered in.
K33-08: Looks like the power is still on.
Command: Noted. Continue forward and search for a way in.
K33-Cap: Split up, and regroup once we find an exit.
As the team splits up and searches the perimeter of the facility. After 11 minutes of searching, K33-11 locates a potential entrance.
K33-11: Uh, there's a broken window here. Should we go in?
The camera drone moves to K33-11. The window spans across a wall in the rear of the facility. Inside is a large room, and a few SCP-XXXX instances.
K33-05: I'm not sure about this, shouldn't we be avoiding these things?
K33-11: It seems like our only option. Any airlocks would probably be flooded, and we don't want to risk blowing the place up.
K33-Cap: We're going in here. Everyone regroup on me, and get out your pressure cannons.
K33-11 and K33-09 draw and arm their pressure cannons. They point them at the SCP-XXXX instances and fire, sending them flying back into the walls of the facility. The team moves past the now motionless SCP-XXXX instances.
K33-Cap: Remember to be liberal with your weapons. We don't want to end up like the last guys.
K33-09: We'll be fine, we're better equipped.
K33-05: Easy for you to say, all I have is this damn stick.
The team traverses the room until they reach a hallway in the rear. The hallway is lit by a few periodically flickering lights.
K33-09: I'm willing to bet that leads to the rest of this place.
K33-09 begins to moves into the hallway, followed by K33-Cap.
K33-09: There's a intersection here, two separate paths. Looks like there's an elevator on the left end.
K33-Cap: We should probably split up. Eight and eleven, head with me down the elevator end. You two see what's down over there. Talk over the comms every now and then.
K33-Cap's group heads left down the hallway, as the camera drone follows them. Along the hallway are numerous empty offices, with the door to one being open. K33-Cap enters the room with his team and begins searching. K33-08 notices a desktop computer near what appears to be the remnants of a desk. The computer's case is covered in rust and several cables are protruding out of a hole.
K33-08: (Picks up computer and turns towards K33-11) Hey do you think this still works?
K33-11: (chuckles)
K33-Cap: Actually, the foundation waterproofs some of its hard drives. Open that up, see if it's still intact.
K33-08 pries apart the casing with his hands and looks inside of the computer for a few seconds. He looks back up and shakes his head.
K33-08: There's no hard drive in here.
K33-Cap: Weird. (Pauses) Could they have been removed at some point? It's not like-
K33-09: Captain, do you copy?
K33-Cap: Copy. What is it, nine?K33-09: There's a room at the end of the hallway, looks like some kind of intercom or maintainance room. There's breakers and some sort of microphone, but more importantly, a map of the facility.
K33-Cap: Great, this should help us out. Anything noteworthy on the map?
K33-09: There's five floors in total, and we're on the fifth floor right now. It looks like there's a data vault on the bottom floor, but it's inside that big room where all those fish were.
K33-Cap: Shit… We should still head that way, we'll figure out a way to get past them somehow.
K33-08: We could probably use one of the beacons they gave us.
K33-Cap: Yeah, that would probably work. You two stay in that room, we're going to head down the elevator shaft.
K33-Cap's group exits the office and moves straight for the elevator shaft. K33-11 arms his pressure cannon and changes some settings. He fires the cannon at the elevator door, blowing it open. The camera shakes considerably as the entire facility vibrates.
K33-11: (Laughter) I don't think I'll ever get tired of using this thing.
The group heads down the elevator shaft and begins descending. They stop at floor 3, since the elevator is stuck at floor 2 and is obscuring their path. The elevator door to floor 3 is already open.
K33-11: Should I blow this up, too?
K33-Cap: No, this place barely withstood the first blast, using it again could kill us all. Let's just head in here, the door is already open.
The group enters the third floor. Floor 3 appears similar to Floor 5, although there is much more debris suspended in the water. The team continues down the hallway and stops at the an intersection.
K33-08: What the hell is that? (Points down hallway)
Down the hallway is what appears to be a human corpse in an advanced state of decomposition. The body is practically skeletal, and the clothes it was wearing are tattered and torn.
K33-11: Oh, gross. It looks like a body, and a pretty old one at that.
K33-08: There's more down here. About… five in total, I think.
K33-Cap: Command, are you seeing this?
Command: Affirmative. Continue forwards through the facility.
The team continues to push through the third floor, eventually locating a staircase. They begin to approach the doorway.K33-11: Hey, does something feel kind of off to you guys, too?
K33-08: What do you mean?
K33-11: This facility was supposed to be swarming with those fish, but we haven't seen any aside from those two at the entrance.
K33-08: Yeah, that is kind of strange… I guess we'll have to keep an eye out for some.
//The team descends down the stairway, and stop at the second floor. At the entrance to the second floor is a room with a very large window, looking into the central chamber. The central chamber is estimated to be 70 meters across.
K33-08: Holy shit.
In the central chamber, hundreds of SCP-XXXX instances are seen, some of which are attached to a central device. Nearly all of the instances are motionless or moving very slowly.
K33-11: Well, I guess that's where they all went.
K33-08: There has to be at least a thousand… Maybe two.
K33-Cap: Command, what's the estimated population of SCP-XXXX?
Command: One moment. (Pause) Approximately 800 individuals.
K33-Cap: There's at least double that just in this room. At least they don't seem to be too active.
K33-08: Are you guys sure the only way to that vault is through there?
K33-05: Yeah, looks like it. This map is pretty worn down but I don't really see anything else that looks like a door.
K33-Cap: Looks like we're going in. We'll probably find the entrance back down those stairs.
The team descends down another flight of stairs, arriving at the first floor. Near the entrance to the floor is a gate that leads into the central chamber. The team takes positions on opposite sides of the gate as K33-Cap prepares to open it.
K33-Cap: Get those beacons ready. When I open the door, shoot it as far into the center as you can.
K33-11: (Muttering) I don't get paid enough for this.
K33-Cap opens the entrance to the chamber. K33-08 and K33-11 fire their beacons towards the center of the room. travelling approximately 22 and 25 meters respectively. The beacons arm, and begin to emit a high frequency sound. The SCP-XXXX instances appear unaffected.
K33-Cap: Well, that didn't work.
K33-11: Now what do we do? I'm not going in there.
K33-08: Wait… Let me try something.
K33-08 enters the chamber and begins to swim towards the entrance to the data vault. The SCP-XXXX instances do not respond to his presence.
K33-11: They aren't attacking him?
K33-08: I don't think they noticed me, or maybe they just don't care.
K33-Cap: It seems so. Let's just get that data and leave before they notice.
K33-11: You go on ahead, I'll just wait here. You know, in case they try to leave or something.
K33-Cap and K33-08 proceed to the data vault. K33-Cap enters the password into a keypad and the vault door opens. Inside the vault is a case containing several hard drives, which K33-08 takes.
K33-Cap: We have the data. Everyone, let's rendezvous back at the fifth floor and get out of here.
K33-11: Alright, I'll head up there n-
K33-05: Fuck, get away! Get away!
Comotion is heard over K33-05 and K33-09's comms, followed by a loud blast. All lights in the facility shut off immediately after, darkening the room. The central chamber is still lit by the large device, but the light is slowly dimming.
K33-Cap: What the just hell happened? Five, Nine, do you copy?
K33-09: (Breathing Heavily) This is Nine… Some of those fucking fish came into the room with us. One of them attached itself to Five and he panicked. He grabbed my cannon and started shooting it around, he hit the breaker panel. I think power's out across the entire facility, I don't see any lights on.
K33-Cap: What about Five, is he okay?
K33-09: He's unconscious. It was only on him for like 5 seconds, I think he'll be fine
K33-08: Uh, Captain?
K33-Cap: Nine, carry him out the exit and we'll get out of here ourselves. We need to make sure that-
K33-08: Captain!
K33-Cap: What?
K33-08: Look! (Points towards device)
The central device has dimmed to the point of hardly illuminating the room. The SCP-XXXX instances surrounding the device have begun to move, and appear to be grouping together. Some appear to be agitated.
K33-Cap: Shit! Everyone move, now!
K33-Cap, K33-08, and K33-11 move through the gate to the central chamber and begin to rush towards the staircase. The camera drone pans behind them to reveal dozens of SCP-XXXX instances giving chase.
K33-Cap: We don't have time to climb these stairs. Eleven, blow the wall open!
K33-11 arms his pressure cannon, changes it to the highest setting, and fires at the facility wall. The wall is blown open, creating a hole to the outside of the facility. The facility begins to shake violently.
K33-11: Oh, that can't be good.
K33-Cap: The facility's about to come down! Nine, leave Five and get out of there!
K33-09: Got it. I'm heading for the exit as fast as I- (Screaming)
K33-Cap: Nine are you okay? What's going on?
K33-11: We need to go back for him. Let's head back to where we came in!
K33-08: We can't with those things chasing us, let's just go!
K33-Cap: Hang on, I'll buy us some time. Go get Nine!
K33-Cap turns around and fires the last beacon into the hole they exited the facility from. The mass of SCP-XXXX instances pursuing the team turns around and begins swarming the beacon. As he does this, K33-11 and K33-08 head towards the back of the facility where they initially entered from. The camera drone follows.
K33-08: Nine are you- HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS
Inside the room where the team initially entered are two SCP-XXXX instances, although they appear to have grown to 2 meters in length and possess numerous body deformities. The body of K33-09 is seen floating behind them. The two instances begin swimming towards K33-11 at speeds previously undocumented in the species.
K33-11: Run! Let's get the hell out of here!
K33-08 and K33-11 begin accelerating in the opposite direction. The instances catch up to K33-11 and attach themselves to him. K33-11 can be seen screaming and thrashing as K33-08 escapes.
K33-08: (Indistinguishable panicked noises)
K33-08 rushes to the cave opening, where K33-Cap is waiting.
K33-Cap: What happened to Eleven, where is he?
K33-08: He's gone, just go!
The two slip out of the cave and rush towards the K33 Deep-Sea Submarine. The camera drone pans backwards to reveal the mass of SCP-XXXX instances, in pursuit again. The two enter the airlock and the sub immediately begins rising towards the surface. The SCP-XXXX instances give chase but turn back after a few minutes.
[END LOG]
Addendum XXXX-4: Recovered Documents
These skips have a page on the wiki (assuming they haven't been deleted).
If you're reading them here, and you like them, be sure to vote them on the main page!
The Joy of Creation: A sentient and robotic scrap worker that gets kind of depressed if it can't express its creativity. My first SCP.
A Modern Problem: A man with anger issues who was trapped inside the body of a garden gnome. My entry for Cliche-Con 2019.
This Town Ain't Big Enough: Goofier SCP that focuses around wild west dueling.
You wander down an alleyway, guided by a dimly lit streetlamp. It's dark, nobody is around, and your phone is dead. After making your way to the end, you finally find what you were looking for: the faint outline of a steel door. You give the door three short knocks, two long knocks, and one last short knock. Immediately, the door is swung open and you are pulled inside by a dark figure. After a brief struggle, he strikes you on the head. You black out.
When you come to, you're being blinded by a lamp. You try to cover your eyes, only to realize that your hands are tied to a chair. After your eyes adjust to the light, you can see a figure standing behind a desk. You struggle to make out facial features at first, partially because of the lamp, but more because of the fear that paralyzes you. After a few moments you realize who this man is, and you're already familiar with him. It's me.
I lean forward, my face showing hints of disappointment. "Listen." I say. "We made a deal, you and I. You provide me with the product my organization needs, and I provide you with those special articles you wanted so badly." I pause for a brief moment, and lean back in my chair. I motion to my associate, who unties the bindings on your hands. You feel a momentary sense of relief, but that's cut off when I start speaking again. "We made that agreement two months ago. You were supposed to report back to me after one. With how late you are, I trust you held up your end of the deal?" After a brief pause, you stumble to the floor and reach for your bag. You rummage through it, eventually pulling out an unlabeled brown shoebox. You place it on the table, and I give a contented grin.
I open the box, revealing a nice pair of brown loafers. I lift one out of the box and begin inspecting it. "Excellent. This is quality product, I'm sure my associates will pay a fortune for this. If you don't mind me asking though, where's the rest?" Your stomach sinks. A feeling of panic spreads throughout your body as my grin turns to a scowl. "You don't have it huh?" I give a discontented sigh and stand up from my chair. "Listen, because I know you're a decent guy, and what you've given me so far is so great, I'm gonna let you off the hook. I'll even give you part of of what I promised right now." I slide a file folder across the table. You pick it up and immediately tuck it into your backpack.
"That's classified government stuff, so it wasn't easy to get. I hope you remember that while you're out there getting more for me. You've got a month, and if you don't have it all by then… Well, let's just say I won't be too happy. I'll see you then." I give you a crooked smile and motion once more. My associate shoves you out the door, onto the wet pavement of the alleyway. He slams the door behind him. You pick yourself up off the ground and immediately open up the folder.
The documents inside read:
- SCP-3425: The Joy of Creation. My first skip, about a robotic worker.
- SCP-4650: A Modern Problem. A sentient SCP that may or may not also introduce a recurring character in my articles.
- SCP-4873: This Town Ain't Big Enough. An SCP themed around Wild West dueling. Not a -J, but does have a goofier tone than your average article.
You put the papers back in your bag and rush home as fast as you can. There's a lot of work for you to do, and if you value your own well-being, you need to get started as soon as possible.
Item #: SCP-3425
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3425 is to be contained in a transparent chamber measuring 5 m x 5 m. The door to SCP-3425's chamber can be unlocked by any personnel Class 3 or higher. SCP-3425 is to be exposed to a 1 kg sheet of iron twice a week. The resulting object is to be removed from containment and studied. SCP-3425's behavior is to be monitored hourly, and any abnormalities must be reported to researchers involved with SCP-3425. In the event that SCP-3425 begins acting distressed, it is to be given a 5kg steel ingot and must be monitored until it resumes normal behavior.
Description: SCP-3425 is a humanoid entity, measuring 1.75 meters in height and weighing 748 kg. SCP-3425 wears an early-20th century welder's suit consisting of an unusually durable rubber-like material. SCP-3425's face is obscured by a welder's helmet, though the glass is tinted too dark to see though. All attempts to remove SCP-3425's suit and helmet to further study its body have resulted in failure (It was not until Incident 3425-A that researchers were able to observe SCP-3425 beneath its suit). SCP-3425's body is metallic and consists of iron. SCP-3425 displays no signs of biological life; it has no pulse, does not breathe, and thermal imagery shows that it gives off no body heat aside from in its chest. SCP-3425 possesses a blowtorch-like device in place of its left hand. SCP-3425's method of powering this device is currently unknown.
SCP-3425 does not speak or emit any other noises, aside from a scraping noise occasionally heard when it moves. SCP-3425's behavior is usually sedentary; movement is rare when not exposed to any stimuli. When moving, SCP-3425 shows signs of intelligence, and appears to experience emotions. SCP-3425 has a docile nature, and is friendly towards personnel. SCP-3425 is obsessed with metalworking and metals (especially those presented in simplistic shapes). When faced with a lack of resources, SCP-3425 becomes distressed and attempts to get the attention of nearby researchers. If it is not exposed to resources for an extended period of time, SCP-3425 often resorts to self-sacrificing measures to obtain metal.
SCP-3425 has shown the ability to manipulate metallic materials on the molecular scale, accomplishing feats that would normally be impossible with a given material. SCP-3425 uses this anomalous property to create devices and trinkets, often working for hours or even days without end before it finishes a creation.
Addendum-1: Testing Logs
| Date | Researcher | Sample | Result | Time Taken (Days:Hours:Minutes) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| ██/██/1987 | Dr. Toboggan | 1 kg of steel | One fully-functioning wristwatch composed entirely of steel. Retained original mass of 1 kg. Currently in possession of Dr. Toboggan. | 0:05:23 |
| ██/██/1989 | Dr. Toboggan | 1 kg of copper | One small statue of an unidentified man. SCP-3425 shows a protective attitude of the statue upon attempted extraction. SCP-3425 is permitted to keep the statue following approval from site director. | 0:19:57 |
| ██/██/1990 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of mercury | SCP-3425 fruitlessly attempts to shape the sample for days, before giving up and leaving it in the corner of its chamber. Further attempts to expose SCP-3425 to mercury result in no response. | 5:07:16 |
| ██/██/1990 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of gold | One spoon composed of gold. Testing shows no unusual properties, and the object is melted down for reuse. | 0:01:05 |
| ██/██/1990 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of aluminum | One Curta Type I calculator6 composed entirely of aluminum. Calculator functions perfectly, though it lacks a serial number. Currently in possession of Dr. Sherry. | 3:17:33 |
| ██/██/1991 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of steel | One M1911 pistol7 (with no ammo) composed entirely of steel. Testing at the on-site armory showed that the pistol is not only functional, but appears to fire bullets at a higher velocity than a standard M1911. Currently located at on-site armory. | 0:11:23 |
| ██/██/1991 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of nickel | 128 US Pennies, consisting of nickel as opposed to copper. Coins were observed to be strongly magnetic; no on-site personnel were able to separate them without use of tools. Currently in possession of the United States Department of Treasury. | 0:07:56 |
| ██/██/1992 | Dr. Sherry | 10,000 kg of iron (SCP-3425 is transferred to a larger facility for the test) | One large compass with a volume of 1.27 cubic meters. As opposed to pointing north, the compass always points towards SCP-3425 (Later analysis of SCP-3425 confirmed that it is not magnetic). Compass was transferred to a foundation storage facility. | 7:17:42 |
| ██/██/1993 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of steel | One small wind-up figure appearing to resemble Dr. Sherry. When wound up, the figure walks in a random path, occasionally stopping to take notes on a clipboard in its hand. Currently located on Dr. Sherry's desk. | 1:37:51 |
| ██/██/1993 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of copper | One unmarked copper box with a singular button on its top face. Upon pressing the button for more than one second, the box records sound for five seconds. Upon pressing the button for less than one second, the box emits a loud series of grinding noises that vaguely resemble the recorded sound. Currently in possession of Dr. Sherry. | 2:17:21 |
| ██/██/1993 | Dr. Sherry | 1 kg of uranium | Upon making contact with SCP-3425's blowtorch, the sample begins to glow and releases high levels of radiation. SCP-3425 drops the sample in apparent confusion but is otherwise unharmed. Sample is promptly retrieved from SCP-3425's containment chamber. Following testing, Dr. Sherry begins to show signs of radiation sickness. Dr. Sherry is temporarily relieved of research duties to recover. | 0:00:04 |
| ██/██/1994 | Dr. Toboggan | One copper statue (See test ██/██/1989) | Object discovered in daily inspection of SCP-3425's containment cell. Surveillance footage shows SCP-3425 picking up statue and reshaping it. SCP-3425 produces one copper tablet with a series of small pictures engraved into it. Pictures were interpreted as a request, begging researchers to conduct more tests. Tablet was confiscated and all tests regarding SCP-3425 were put on hold. | 0:00:32 |
| ██/██/1997 | Dr. Toboggan | SCP-3425's right arm (27.3 kg of iron) | See Addendum-2 | 0:13:19 |
Addendum-2: Incident 3425-A Video Log
On ██/██/1997, displayed a drastic change in behavior over the course of 24 hours. Security footage of the incident was reviewed following the discovery of the incident. The following is a transcript of the Incident 3425-A footage.
[BEGIN LOG]
<01:45:05> SCP-3425 stands motionless in the center of its chamber. The room is dark, save for a single light on the roof of SCP-3425's chamber.
<01:47:22> SCP-3425 breaks sedentary behavior and begins to pace around the perimeter of its chamber. SCP-3425 appears distressed.
<03:05:51> SCP-3425 begins pounding on the walls of its chamber. It seems that by doing this, SCP-3425 sought to attract the attention of Foundation personnel.
<03:24:12> SCP-3425 begins pacing again, occasionally stopping to pound on the walls of its chamber. Its motions grow quicker and shakier as time progresses.
<05:44:13> SCP-3425 stops moving and collapses on the floor, with its arms and legs lying at disjointed positions. It remains in this state, motionless.
<08:09:23> SCP-3425 resumes motion and begins to right itself. After righting itself, it moves to the center of the chamber and looks at the camera for a brief moment.
<08:25:36> SCP-3425 raises its left arm, ignites the blowtorch on it, and begins staring at it.
<08:57:32> SCP-3425 extends its right arm outwards and moves the blowtorch towards its arm. A shrill metallic noise is heard and a shower of sparks is emitted as the blowtorch cuts through.
<09:02:21> SCP-3425's arm breaks off from its body and falls to the ground. A loud thud is heard as the arm hits the bottom of the chamber. SCP-3425 stares at the socket where its arm once was.
<09:23:33> SCP-3425 kneels down towards the arm and begins cutting the arm's remaining clothing away.
<09:29:42> All clothing is now removed, revealing a rusty robotic appendage. SCP-3425 moves so that its body is obscuring the camera, and begins to re-shape the arm. SCP-3425 is notably less efficient in its technique.
<15:02:01> SCP-3425 finishes working on the arm and moves away from the resulting objects.
<15:04:11> SCP-3425 resumes sedentary behavior.
[END OF LOG]
Following Incident 3425-A, SCP-3425's containment procedures were updated to accommodate its new behavior. Monitoring was increased to hourly checks as opposed to daily, and SCP-3425 was to be exposed to metal weekly, instead of only for testing. The socket which formerly contained SCP-3425's arm was studied, leading to the discovery of a small nuclear reactor at the center of SCP-3425. The reactor does not appear to be dangerous, and is only used as a means of powering SCP-3425.
The objects created from SCP-3425's arm were as follows:
-One iron canteen, believed to be constructed from the hand. Object was very rusty.
-Ten iron horseshoes, believed to be constructed from the lower arm. Objects showed numerous shape irregularities.
-One iron vase, believed to be constructed from the upper arm. Object contained traces of radiation.
Item #: SCP-4650
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4650 is to be contained in a standard object containment chamber. The door to the chamber can be unlocked by personnel Class 4 or higher. The key in SCP-4650's back is to remain constantly turned to the 5th setting. In the event that SCP-4650's key is turned or falls out, one D-Class personnel must be sent into the chamber by supervisors to reset the key. No electronic equipment aside from lights and recording devices are to be allowed within a 20-meter radius of SCP-4650. Tests involving SCP-4650 must be approved by personnel Class 4 or higher.
Description: SCP-4650 appears to be a generic garden gnome, measuring 0.3 m tall. Testing shows that it is composed mostly of clay, with trace amounts of lead. SCP-4650 shows minor signs of age, such as chipped and faded paint on numerous areas of its surface. It possesses a small speaker, a microphone, and a keyhole on its back. The speaker is of poor quality: the gain makes it difficult to comprehend what SCP-4650 is trying to say, especially at higher volumes. Occasionally, the speaker will emit static noise for no reason; this is presumed to be an electronic fault and not an intentional feature. SCP-4650 also seems to be capable of sight, but does not possess any cameras.
SCP-4650 is sentient and frequently attempts to converse with personnel, which it does using its speaker. It speaks with a heavy Scottish accent and will often insult and shout expletives at personnel, or to express its desire to escape containment. It is easily agitated, and usually refuses to speak about meaningful topics unless given incentive.
SCP-4650 possesses the ability to fully control all electronics within a 20-meter radius of itself. This phenomenon bypasses any security systems that are in place on targeted electronics. It often uses this ability to annoy or irritate personnel, usually by flickering lights or broadcasting loud noises over nearby speakers. It has yet to use this ability for anything other than practical jokes, but claims it is capable of compromising secure Foundation servers. This has yet to be proven in testing.
SCP-4650's primary method of control is in the form of a keyhole on its back. The keyhole has five settings that it can be turned to, each affecting SCP-4650 differently. If the key is removed from the hole, it will remain on the current setting for 48 hours before switching back to the 1st setting. Leaving the key in the hole will suspend SCP-4650 in its current state indefinitely.
| Setting | Effect |
|---|---|
| 1 | SCP-4650 operates normally. |
| 2 | SCP-4650 is deafened. |
| 3 | SCP-4650 is muted. |
| 4 | SCP-4650's electronic ability is disabled. |
| 5 | SCP-4650 is muted and its electronic ability is disabled. Upon turning the key to this setting, the key cannot be turned for 24 hours. |
Addendum 4650-A: Discovery
SCP-4650 was discovered next to a gas station pump by Dr. Harold as he was driving to Site-75 on 08/13/16. Upon inspecting the object, he discovered the key in the back of the object inserted into the keyhole, and removed it. Because the key was turned to the 5th setting, Dr. Harold was unaware of its anomalous properties and decided to use it as a decoration for his office. After arriving, Dr. Harold stored the key in his desk and continued with his daily routine. 48 hours later, SCP-4650 reset to its 1st setting while Dr. Harold was working in his office. The following is a video log of the resulting incident.
[BEGIN LOG]
Log is shot from a security camera in Dr. Harold's office. The camera is positioned above the desk so that the computer screen is visible. Dr. Harold is working at his computer, with headphones on. SCP-4650 is positioned in the opposite corner of the office.
SCP-4650: Hey you, you with the glasses. Ya mind taking me out of here?
Dr. Harold: (Momentarily looks up from computer) Did someone say something?
SCP-4650: Yeah, it was me, down here. Pick me up, so I can talk to you, mate?
Dr. Harold: Johnny, I know it's you. I've got enough work as it is, so just leave me alone.
SCP-4650: (Slightly agitated) Listen ya cunt, my name's not Johnny. I'm down here, in the corner. I'm trying to talk to you.
Dr. Harold continues to work at his computer. He does not look up from the monitor or take off his headphones.
SCP-4650: (Increasingly agitated) You pick me up and ya take me to this fucking bunker, least you could do is actually put me back at the gas station.
Dr. Harold: (Takes off headphones, pauses) I could've sworn that just came from the gnome…
Transcriber's Note: Beyond this point, SCP-4650's speech becomes nearly unrecognizable due to distortion and the volume at which it is speaking. The transcription may not be entirely accurate.
SCP-4650: (Very agitated) YA FUCKIN WANKSTAIN OF COURSE IT CAME FROM ME WHERE THE FUCK ELSE WOULD IT COME FROM? I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU AND THEN YOU CALL ME A GNOME, LIKE IT'S ME FUCKIN FAULT FOR BEING LIKE THIS! I SWEAR I CAN'T EVEN GET- (Indistinguishable)
SCP-4650's rant continues for some time. Dr. Harold, while watching it, slowly picks up his phone and begins to call for site security. As he is dialing the number, SCP-4650 notices he is holding the phone.
SCP-4650: OH AND OF COURSE YOU PICK UP THE FUCKIN PHONE RIGHT AS I'M TELLIN YA OUT FOR BEING A CUNT!
A high-pitched squealing is emits from the receiver of the phone. Dr. Harold drops the receiver in pain covers his ears.
Dr. Harold: Agh, fuck, my ears!
SCP-4650: YEAH, IT'S NOT SO FUN WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAN'T FUCKING TALK, IS IT?
Dr. Harold: Wait, did you just do that?
SCP-4650: YEAH I FUCKIN DID MATE, AND I'LL DO A LOT MORE IF YOU DON'T TAKE ME OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN OFFICE!
The lights in the office begin to switch on and off repeatedly. The squealing from Dr. Harold's phone increases in volume, and his computer begins to open pornographic links on its own.
Dr. Harold: That's it, I'm taking you to security myself.SCP-4650: I'D LIKE TO SEE YA TRY, IF I STILL HAD ME FISTS I'D FUCK YOU UP RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. I'LL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE AND KILL YA WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I AM A FUCKING MONSTER-
Dr. Harold picks up SCP-4650 and carries it to the site security post. The lights in the hallway begin to strobe rapidly as SCP-4650 is carried out of the room. SCP-4650's obscene rant can still be heard broadcasting over the site's PA system after Dr. Harold leaves the camera's view.
[END LOG]
Note: After Dr. Harold arrived at security, SCP-4650 was thrown into a containment locker where it continued to shout obscenities and tampered with lights, until Dr. Harold used its key to stop it. SCP-4650's containment chamber and procedures were established shortly after.
Addendum 4650-B: Interview
Some time after its initial containment, an interview was conducted with SCP-4650 with the purpose of gaining some insight to its past. To encourage SCP-4650 to speak calmly with the interviewer, it was offered daily time to converse freely with personnel. The following is an audio log of the interview.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Newman: Alright, let's begin. Are you ready?
SCP-4650: Yeah, sure.
Dr. Newman: Great. To start off, what's your name?
SCP-4650: (Pauses) Well… (Sighs) Truth is, I don't really remember me name.
Dr. Newman: Go on.
SCP-4650: I don't really remember much about me life, really. I get little bits and pieces, but it's like it was all a dream or something. I know it happened, but I just can't grasp it for me life.
Dr. Newman: You used to be human?
SCP-4650: For sure. I don't know too many details, but I still remember having arms and all that.
Dr. Newman: Is there anything you can remember at from when you were human? Anything detailed at all?
SCP-4650: I remember my last night as a human. I went out for drinks with me mates at a pub near my flats. I can't really remember their names, or what any of them were like, but I remember going out for drinks.
Dr. Newman: Go on.
SCP-4650: I had a little- actually, scratch that, way too much to drink. I couldn't really stand. I remember feeling really down about something, and I just kept on drinking. Me mates managed to carry me back to my flats, but they just left me at the front of the building.
Dr. Newman: Sounds like some pretty shitty friends.
SCP-4650: Yeah. I don't remember anything else beyond that, I just blacked out. When I finally woke up, I was in this clay body and this man kept talking to me. Anyways, that's how-
Dr. Newman: Wait, tell me more about that man. What did he look like?
SCP-4650: (Slightly Agitated) Him? Since when was this interview about that cunt? I gave you blokes what you wanted, now let me-
Dr. Newman: SCP-4650, remember that if you refuse to cooperate, your end of the deal will not be held up.
SCP-4650: (Calmer) Sorry, sorry. Won't happen again.
Dr. Newman: As I was saying, can you tell me more about that man? What did he look like?
SCP-4650: He was a tall guy, 'bout 6 feet. He had a beard, and always wore this ratty looking old-style button up jacket. He was covered in grease, looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. I couldn't smell him thankfully, because… well… ya know.
Dr. Newman: What else can you tell me about him?
SCP-4650: When I woke up and asked where I was, he got real excited and kept saying 'It works, it works!'. I kept asking where I was, or what was going on, but he never answered me. Cunt never even told me his name. After a few minutes he started asking me do to stupid shit, like turning on the lights or changing the station on an old radio. This was when I figured out I could control them.
Dr. Newman: What did you do next?
SCP-4650: (Chuckles) I fucking flipped on him. I started cursin' him out, turning the lights on and off real fast, demanding answers and everything. He got angry and told me that I was supposed to listen to him, then he stuck the key in me back. After that I couldn't talk or control the lights anymore.
Dr. Newman: How long did he keep you for?
SCP-4650: (Sighs) He kept me in his apartment for about two weeks, the place was falling apart. Every time he let me talk again, I'd start screaming at him and he'd shut me up. It was awful. After a while he took me out in his car, saying something about how I was a failure and he 'needed to start over'. He threw me on the ground at a gas station with the key still in me back. A few hours later, one of your boys found me and brought me in. That's the entire story.
Dr. Newman: Do you remember where that apartment was?
SCP-4650: I do, actually. I'm pretty sure it was █████ ████████ Street.
Dr. Newman: Thank you, this information will be very helpful for our organization.
SCP-4650: Yeah, it better be.
Dr. Newman: That concludes this interview. We'll be sure to reward you for your cooperation, as promised. I look forward to speaking with you again.
(The sound of Dr. Newman standing up from his chair and walking away is heard.)
SCP-4650: If you catch that wanker, be sure to tell him that I sent ya!
[END LOG]
Note: After the interview, as promised, SCP-4650's containment procedures were updated. SCP-4650 was allowed an hour of time every day in which its setting would be changed from the fifth to the fourth, and it could freely converse with researchers. SCP-4650 seems to be more cordial with researchers following the interview, barring Dr. Harold.
Addendum 4650-C: Journal
Following SCP-4650's interview, an MTF team was dispatched to the aforementioned apartment building. The building was completely abandoned, as the company owning it had entered bankruptcy. In one of the apartments, a journal was discovered labeled "The Antiquer's Notes: No.14". The book is believed to have belonged to the individual SCP-4650 described. The following is a transcription of it.
Well, it looks like today I'm starting a new project. As is tradition, I'll start documenting my progress in a new notebook. Maybe if this one does well enough, I'll actually be able to get it onto shelves.
Earlier today, I was at my friend Ralph's house celebrating his birthday, and he had gotten one of those awful Amazon Echoes as a gift from a family member. I'll never fully understand why people buy these things: you're basically bugging your own house, and for what? So you can yell at some robot to turn on your lights, something it'll normally take you 5 seconds to do? Have people really gotten that lazy? I guess it's just another thing on the grievance list of modern technology. All the more reasons for me to continue my work.
Anyways, I tried explaining to him how awful these things were and how they were such a detriment to society. As usual, he didn't agree with me. He kept talking about how convenient it was, or how it made his day so much easier. I swear, sometimes I question my friendship with that guy. Or maybe I just work best alone, I don't know. At this point I had made up my mind; I would have to show him physical proof. I told him that I could make a better and safer alternative to Echo, one without the awful burdens of modern technology. Ralph is vaguely familiar with my work, so it's not like I was letting out a big secret or anything. He told me to go nuts, so here I am.
To start, I'll have to chose an appearance for this thing. One of my biggest gripes with big companies these days is how every design has to be minimalist. There's something intriguing about a nice, sophisticated design to me. Having lots of buttons, tons of switches, it makes me feel like I'm holding something special instead of a shiny brick. That said, I can't make this one that complicated, since this is probably going to be displayed in houses or something. I decided to go with a nice, friendly design, since people will want something that feels human. After some consideration, I finally came to a conclusion: what's friendlier than a jolly old garden gnome? I stole one off someone's lawn a few days ago, so it should make a great basis for a prototype. I'll update this notebook as I make progress.
I've made decent progress on my creation. The gnome was hollow, so there was no need to empty it out. People such as myself will probably want to mute this thing, make it shut up, or anything like that, so I implemented a settings system. It's a key slot on the back of the gnome, which you turn to change settings. It makes you feel like bad-ass, like starting an old sports car only without the engine or the seat or the car and the key fits really loose and you could lose the key Okay, so maybe this key thing wasn't that good of an idea. Well, I already added it on, so I guess I'll have to live with it. I'll just add in a system that makes it reset, in case you lose the key.
I used the speaker and microphone in a rotary phone I tore apart on this thing. Honestly, modern speakers are overrated. All this buzz about high quality audio in music and communication is awful, it just takes away reasons to listen to live concerts or actually talk to people in person. Besides, people 70 years ago used this speaker for talking all the time, I'm sure it'll be great. I've run into an issue with my work, recently. The Echo has an AI thing inside of it called "Alexa" that controls it. I can't really make that with my work, so I guess I'll have to find a more natural alternative. I'm sure I'll think of something eventually.
I haven't bathed in weeks. I know it's unhygienic, but I just get so obsessed with my projects. Maybe I could use this gnome to remind me to bathe once it's finished. I've been steadily updating Ralph with my progress, but he doesn't seem too confident that what I'm making will be an efficient replacement for Echo. I guess that's just to be expected in people at this point, but I'm sure that this prototype will blow him out of the water when it's finished. If this turns out good enough, I might even be able to start selling this thing, and finally get my message out to the people. I guess only time will tell.
I showed Ralph the prototype. He thought it was "interesting", as he put it, but didn't like that it couldn't control his lights and whatnot. I tried to explain how all of that was unnecessary and saved him literally 5 seconds of effort, but I guess that feature is just non-negotiable for him. He just kept on saying, "I need to be able to do this, there's not point to it if I can't." I finally told him that I would implement it, but in a better way. The Echo can only communicate with smart appliances that need a WiFi connection. To that I say fuck WiFi, too many things are dependent on it anyways. My gnome works with any electronic device, and doesn't need any of that shit. Suck my dick, Silicon Valley! This is really coming out to be a revolutionary invention, even for my standards.
Sometimes, I wonder what today would be like if people in the 20th century could use my inventions. Things were simpler back then, you didn't have to worry about being stalked by big tech companies or getting validated by strangers on social media. The only thing that could've been better was the technology, it just hadn't advanced far enough. If we could've just gone a little bit farther back then, we would've been able to reap the benefits of these new innovations without the burdens they bear on us now. I probably sound like some kind of hipster right now, but whatever.
Everything is coming together nicely, and I'm nearing completion of my project. The settings system is working perfectly, the speaker and microphone are rigged, and all the lights and radios I've tested it with passed. The only thing I still have to worry about is that entire controller thing I mentioned before. I might've just come up with a solution, though. I'm going to implement it next week, if everything goes according to plan that is. These past two months are about to pay off.
I messed up. Things did not go the way I expected them to. My plan was to create a copy of someone else's mind and implant it into the gnome, so you could have a fully sentient friend to pass the time with, in addition to an assistant. The issue with this is that I can't exactly do it to myself, and nobody will really want to volunteer to put their mind inside of a gnome. So I drove around looking for drunks to use on Saturday night, and found one passed out in front of some apartments a few miles away. The copying process went perfectly, and the transplant did as well. I had finally finished my creation, and all I had to do was wait for it to wake up.
When it woke up and started talking, I was ecstatic. I didn't even care what it said, all I cared about was that it worked. After I managed to calm myself down, I tried asking it to turn on the lights, or tune the radio. Instead of doing these things, it decided to betray me. It started screaming at me, turning all the lights on and off, and doing all sorts of destructive shit. I had to turn it off to keep it from drawing attention to my apartment, I can't have anyone else finding out about my work before I'm ready. Every time I try to make this thing behave, it just screams at me more and is completely uncooperative. I chose an awful person to copy, and I can't exactly remove him from the gnome either. I don't know what to do from here.
I abandoned the gnome. This project was a failure, nothing but a disappointment. I came so close to achieving something great, but was set back by one awful decision. I haven't experienced a setback this great since the last time I tried working with intelligence, I should probably avoid that in the future. The hardware I developed was perfect, despite my failure. Maybe one day I'll be able to return to this project, but I should focus on other things now. I need to get started on my next project as soon as possible.
I'm about to become homeless. The landlord came up to respond to noise complaints, saw the decrepit the state my apartment was in, and now he's evicting me. He's giving me two days to pack my things and leave. I guess cleaning is another thing I forget to do when working, huh? It's not like this is too big of a loss, though. That shitty apartment complex was about to go under anyways, I was prepared for this. I've already prepared enough food to live on the streets for a month. I'll be able to relocate and continue my work elsewhere, wherever that is. This has been a defeat for me, but I won't let something like this get in the way of accomplishing my goals. Someday, I will change the future for the better.
That day, unfortunately, is not today.
Item #: SCP-4873
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Both instances of SCP-4873 are outfitted with GPS tracking devices, and locked inside a steel box in a standard object containment chamber. SCP-4873 instances are not to be handled without approval from a researcher with Level 3 Clearance or higher. If SCP-4873 is removed from its box, it must be returned through the use of a robotic arm. In the event that SCP-4873 is handled accidentally, GPS tracking and global Foundation surveillance systems will be used to determine the identity of SCP-4873-2. SCP-4873-2 is then to be extracted by an MTF squadron.
Description: SCP-4873 refers to a pair of Colt-45 Peacemaker revolvers with black and white etchings, dubbed SCP-4873-A and SCP-4873-B respectively. Both SCP-4873 instances show no composition differences from a standard Colt-45 revolver. The revolvers seem to be relatively new.
SCP-4873's anomalous properties occur when a person picks up an SCP-4873 instance. Upon picking it up, the other instance will immediately de-manifest and an 4873-GS event will occur. 4873-GS events generally follow the same pattern:
- Contact: The subject, now designated SCP-4873-1, will pick up an SCP-4873 instance. Six .45 caliber bullets will appear in the chambers of both SCP-4873 instances. The SCP-4873 instance the subject did not pick up will de-manifest, and then re-manifest immediately afterward, near an individual that SCP-4873-1 considers an enemy or adversary.
- 1-5 minutes after contact: The targeted individual, now designated SCP-4873-2, will be compelled to pick up the second revolver. They will immediately begin travelling to SCP-4873-1's current location through any means necessary. While travelling, SCP-4873-2 instances display abnormal levels of resilience, but can still die from certain injuries.
- 10-20 minutes after contact: SCP-4873 will begin to affect the minds of SCP-4873-1 and SCP-4873-2. Both will begin to speak in American-West style accents, and various western-themed items may manifest in possession of the two.
- 20 minutes - 24 hours after contact: SCP-4873-2 will arrive at SCP-4873-1's location. SCP-4873-2 will always arrive within 24 hours, regardless of the distance between the two. Upon arriving, SCP-4873-2 will make an abrupt entrance, usually by kicking open the door of a building SCP-4873-1 is in. The two will then briefly argue, before SCP-4873-2 challenges SCP-4873-1 to a duel. The reasoning for the duel is usually arbitrary. SCP-4873-1 will always accept the offer, and the two will wait until the sun touches the horizon at the given point of the duel.
- 20 minutes - 48 hours after contact: When the time of the duel arrives, SCP-4873-1 and SCP-4873-2 will travel towards the location of the duel. The location is seemingly selected at random, but usually involves flat, level terrain. Around this time, tumbleweeds will manifest in the general vicinity of the two. This occurs regardless of climate and season.
- Duel: After arriving, SCP-4873-1 and SCP-4873-2 will take positions facing each other and duel. The outcome of the duel is always random, even if either subject has had previous firearm experience. After the duel, the surviving subject will drop their revolver and walk into the sunset. Five to ten minutes later, the remaining subject will resume normal behavior with no memory of the incident.
| SCP-4873-1 | SCP-4873-2 | Notes | Results |
|---|---|---|---|
| D-21568 | D-21568's childhood bully | Subject was transported to Point Nemo8 for testing, to see how far SCP-4873-2 would pursue SCP-4873-1. | After approximately 40 hours SCP-4873-2 arrived at Point Nemo, swimming all the way from the coast of South America. The duel proceeded as normal, with SCP-4873-2 emerging victorious. Subject was given Class-A amnestics and returned to their home. |
| D-35287 | Agent Swanson | D-35287 had attempted escape numerous times, and was apprehended by Agent Swanson in several of said attempts. | After the realization that Agent Swanson was targeted, efforts were made to keep the two separated. When these efforts failed, D-35287 was terminated by Agent Watson using his service pistol. |
| D-13579 | D-13579's father | Subject openly admitted that they were abused by their father as a child. D-13579's father was monitored closely to observe the behavior of SCP-4873-2 instances. D-13579 was sealed inside a door-less chamber, to see if SCP-4873-2 would attempt to enter a door-less room. | SCP-4873-2 retrieved the revolver from underneath a pillow in his bedroom and immediately proceeded to D-13579's location. On the way, SCP-4873-2 visited a costume store, and purchased cowboy-themed attire. SCP-4873-2 arrived wearing said attire, and delivered a kick with an estimated force of 5,000 newtons to the facility wall. The wall was blown open and SCP-4873-2 proceeded into the testing chamber. The duel proceeded as normal. SCP-4873-2 emerged victorious, was given Class A amnestics, and returned to their home. Costume was kept by Researcher Fredrick. |
| D-67839 | D-67839 | Subject was instructed to pick up both revolvers simultaneously, to observe the effect it would have on subjects. | D-67839 stared off into space for a few minutes, before muttering: "Trust nobody, not even yourself." D-67839 promptly shot themself in the head. Attempts to resuscitate D-67839 were unsuccessful, and they expired shortly after. |
| D-56289 | D-56298's former boss | To see if the outcome of a duel could be affected, D-56289 was outfitted with a bulletproof vest, a military-grade helmet, and explosive-tipped rounds. Automated turrets were stationed nearby to terminate D-56289 should they attempt escape. | Duel proceeded as normal, with SCP-4873-2 emerging victorious. Inspection of D-56289's body revealed a bullet wound in their chest, despite the bulletproof armor remaining undamaged. Inspection of D-56289's revolver revealed that the explosive-tipped rounds had been replaced by regular .45 caliber rounds. SCP-4873-2 was administered Class-A amnestics and returned to their home. |
| D-23542 / Agent Watson | D-23542's ex-wife | Armed personnel were stationed in the chamber with D-23542 and instructed to remove D-23542's revolver through any means necessary. | Attempts to remove the revolver while holstered were ineffective. D-23542 was instructed to unholster their revolver, which they did reluctantly. Agent Watson grabbed the revolver, only to have its anomalous effects transfer to him. D-23542 and Agent Watson proceeded to fight over the revolver, while nearby agents opened fire. D-23542 and Agent Watson were both terminated. |
| D-47592 | D-16349 | N/A | See Addendum 4873-B |
Addendum-4873-B: 4873-GS Event
4873-GS Event Log Transcript
Date: ██/██/2017
Subjects: D-47592, D-16349
Notes: D-47592 was selected for the test due to an ongoing feud with D-16349. Researchers predicted that D-16349 would be targeted by SCP-4873, which would make monitoring SCP-4873-2 easier.
[BEGIN LOG]
Log is shot from a security camera in a testing room. The testing chamber features two doors, one leading outside and another leading to an observation room. Researchers are observing the experiment through one-way bulletproof glass, and are communicating with D-47592 using an intercom. D-47592 is standing in the center of the testing chamber, with SCP-4873's box near him.
Researcher Ramirez: Testing, can you hear this?
D-47592: Loud and clear.
Researcher Ramirez: Alright, let's get started. Open that box in front of you and pick up one of the revolvers.
D-47592: You guys are giving me a gun? Isn't that a security issue or something?
Researcher Ramirez: You will be unable to leave this chamber with the revolver in your possession. Please continue with the test.
D-47592: Sure, whatever.
D-47592 opens the box and picks up SCP-4873-A. SCP-4873-B promptly de-manifests.
D-47592: Uhhh, I think the other one just disappeared.
Researcher Ramirez: Don't worry, that's a normal property of this object.
D-47592: Ah, okay. So what do I do now?
Researcher Ramirez: You wait. It could be a few hours.
As the test was occurring, SCP-4873-B re-manifested in the possession of D-16349. D-16349 immediately began moving from D-Class living quarters to the testing chamber. Site security were informed of the test and allowed D-16349 to proceed to the chamber. Several minutes passed with no communication between the researchers and D-47592.
D-47592: So, how long are y'all gonna keep me in this here saloon?
Researcher Ramirez: (To Researcher) He's talking different, write that down. (To D-47592) It'll be a few more minutes. Also, this is a testing chamber, not a saloon.
D-47592: Well, that's a shame.
(D-47592 leans against the wall of the containment chamber. He draws a cigar and lighter from his jumpsuit, and lights the cigar.)
Researcher Ramirez: Wait- Where did you get that? That's contraband!
D-47592: (Shrugs) Relax, doc. I ain't hurtin' nobody.
Researcher Ramirez: Put that out right now, or you will be reprimanded!
D-47592: Alright, geez. (Puts out cigar) Sorry.
Several more minutes pass. Researchers are informed that D-16349 has nearly arrived at the testing chamber.
Researcher Ramirez: (To Researcher) Get ready, he's almost here.
D-47592: Get ready for wha-
D-16349 arrives at the door to the testing chamber, and delivers a kick with an estimated force of 3000 newtons. The door is flung off its hinges, narrowly missing D-47592 and hitting the chamber wall. D-16349 enters the room and strikes a pose.
D-16349: Gunslingin' Garry… Never thought I'd meet you here.
D-47592: (Stands up) Black Eyed Billy… To what do I owe the honor?
D-16349: (Approaches) You see, I was just wandering around this here establishment, when I noticed you forgot to wear your deodorant. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?
D-47592: You're not the boss of me, Bill. If you got a problem with my stench, then go someplace else.
D-16349: (Gets Closer) Oh, I'm not going anywhere. We're gonna settle this little dispute between us, right now.
D-47592: It's about time. Where are we doing this at?
D-16349: Follow me, I know a place.
D-47592 and D-16349 leave the testing facility, and a camera drone is deployed to follow the two. Nearby Site security officers are informed to follow them. They make their way towards the site's outdoor courtyard, and arrive after a few minutes. Tumbleweeds begin to manifest in the courtyard. D-47592 and D-16349 stand evenly spaced apart and stare each other down.
D-16349: I've been waiting to do this for a long time, old friend.
D-47592: I'm enjoying this as much as you, Bill. Now let's get this over with.
The two stare each other down in complete silence, seemingly ignoring the guards and drone. The silence is broken when a security guard accidentally steps on a twig. The two immediately draw their revolvers and fire. After a brief pause, D-16349 falls to the ground, mortally wounded. D-47592 rushes to his side.
D-16349: (Chuckles) Well this is it, Garry. After all these years, we've finally settled this. Was I a worthy adversary to you? (Coughs)
D-47592: You were. All I wanted in the end was for us to be friends, Bill. I'm sorry it had to end like this.
D-16349: (Smiles) It's for the best this way, my time in this world was up. All I ask is… (Coughs) …that you tell my story. Don't let me be forgotten.
D-47592: I won't, I promise.
D-16349: Thanks… Partner…
D-16349 expires. D-47592 looks up towards the sky, and drops his revolver. After pausing for a moment, he lights another cigar and begins walking westward into the sunset. The camera drone turns around and heads back to its station.
[END LOG]
Note: D-47592 was apprehended and returned to the D-Class living quarters after SCP-4873's effects wore off. D-47592 seemed to have no memory of the event, and was unaware that he had killed D-16349.
These are my bad skips. They were either mainlisted and down-voted off, or I just decided I didn't like them and scrapped their drafts.
This section mainly serves as an archive.
