Sirslash47's Reserve


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I woke up in some kind of drunkenness on this godforsaken planet. Everything was turning around and blurry. I tried to move, but couldn't. Too much pain or too numb to move. In the corner of my eye I saw parts of my burned arm slowly losing its embers and regrow back to flesh. Regeneration… how convenient.

I laid on the dry surface for a couple more hours, under the scorching light of three different suns before I lost consciousness again. I honestly thought I would never wake up again.

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But sometime later, I surprisingly found myself in a bar, which I must confess was quite comfortable. It was rather unusual and livid for a dream- No, too realistic for a dream. And there was this feeling of being watched by an unknown presence. Yet my perception didn't spot a single soul around.

I sat down on one of the stools in the middle of the counter. Looking around, I saw multiple, wildly different, sundials on the walls. It reminded me of clocks in an airport terminal, just prettier, although I didn't understand how they'd work inside. Above the liquor cabinet stood bottles I didn't recognize a single one from. Before I could let my gaze wander further, a person, or at least a being resembling a person, walked in from the employee area.

I couldn't see their feet, but based on the tapping echo of their shoes on the wooden floorboard, they had a good shoemaker. The torso was dressed up rather formal, a white shirt complimented by a black tie and a golden clip folded underneath an equally black vest. But the face before me was-

Well, there was no face. There was a complete pitch black void in front what mostly seemed to resemble a human head. And it moved inside itself. The sides of his face were normal and his hair was as dark as his face, but seemed to sparkle as the night sky. I kept staring, most likely something that would be considered rude, until he snapped me out of my focus.

"What would you like to order, sir?"

"Uh… Excuse me?"

"Ah, my apologies. I forgot that you are new to this establishment. Would you like to-"

"Okay, hold on a second. What is this place? Where am I? Who are you? How-"

"How did I get here? How did I end up in a bar whilst traveling the universe? Oh sir, I know the questions on your mind. Please, let me elaborate whilst I pour you a drink."

"But I don't have-"

"Any money? Sir, I never take payment for drinks or food. This one is on the house anyway. Now please tell me, what can I pour you?"

"Water" I answered in an instant.

"Wa- Water?"

"Yes! Water! It's been so long since I was able to drink anything."

"Your throat must be rather unpleasant then. Please, give me a moment." And he poured a glass of crystal clear water in a glass. In excitement I took the glass and downed it before he could even add the ice.

"Aaaaah…"

"Please, feel free to help yourself." He said, as he put another glass before me, this time the ice was already floating graciously on the surface.

"Don't mind if I do!" I probably drank more water than a viking drank beer on a feast, and I was only stopped by a short;

"So, my dear guest, shall we start over?"

"Yeah, so where am I?"

"Well, this bar is mostly called the thought-end tavern. In some simpler dialects, they refer to it as the void-end pub. It exists somewhere between unconsciousness and being awake. I made it rather hard to find. Keeps most abysmal drinkers from entering."

"You don't have much patrons here, am I the only one here?"

"Normally, as within any bar, a barman only serves one at the time whilst overlooking many."

"Based on the rather fine style here, what am I doing here? I feel rather out of place in this… noospheric plane?"

"You tell me, how did you end up here? I must confess, I already know. But I would love to hear things from your perspective."

"Well, I can put it real simple but the full story is gonna take quite a bit of time."

"Hmm, not that we don't have time, I mean you already took three months to regain consciousness once. But I think the short version is good enough for now."

"… Wait, three months?! I was out for three months?"

"Look, I don't know how you survived or were able to reform yourself, but you were reduced to a pile of red liquid. The fact that you somehow came back is already impressive. Even without accounting that you are a human."

The silence that fell took more than just a moment.


It was rather unexpected and I didn't recognize anything in the bar. There were bottles of all kind of colours and shapes but some stood out more than others. One whose liquid glowed and moved like a lavalamp caught my eye in particular.

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