Per 
Scp-LMAO-22
Subject Class: What the heckle
Containment Procedures: Scp-LMAO-22 is to kept in the white ceramic toilet bowl where it was once discovered. On account of its odor, it’s containment cell is to be regularly deodorized via air freshener. The process is to be carried out by D-Class Personnel because the task is a waste of time for any trained professionals. The holding cell is to be kept at room temperature between 74-78 degrees Fahrenheit. The holding cell is to be square and have 6 inch steel walls that have steel supports at least every 2 feet. Visual contact with it is not recommended, as quoted by a D-Class Personnel referring to its visual appeal “That shid nasty.”
Description: It appears to be a piece of human fecal matter or a substance similar to that, no tests have been conducted on it as the scientists responsible for it want it to adjust to its new holding cell in the SCP facility before tests are carried out, such as [DATA EXPUNGED]. Weighing about a pound and having the length of 9-11 inches, its distinctive features are the prominent streak of red along its left side and the red-stained toilet paper accompanying it inside of the toilet bowl. The following is a recorded dialogue between the creator of the SCP and the head scientist of the SCP-LMAO-22 Project.
Dr. Carlson: Why did you make Scp-LMAO-22?
[DATA EXPUNGED]: I dunno it just happened.
Dr. Carlson: So it was an accident?
[DATA EXPUNGED]: No, my body just painfully pushed it out one day, I had no control over the situation.
Dr. Carlson: What is the composition of the SCP?
[DATA EXPUNGED]: I dunno, I think I prolly had ice cream in that mix, some chicken, cereal, and most likely some taco meat too. But not like taco meat that gives you the shits, much less bloody shits.
[DATA EXPUNGED]: Also, can I have my fuggin’ toilet back?
Dr. Carlson: No.
[DATA EXPUNGED]: Can I get a replacement?
Dr. Carlson: No.
[DATA EXPUNGED]: How’d you guys find me and my shit anyways?
Dr. Carlson: Our agent in your bathroom located and reported it.
[DATA EXPUNGED]: Hol' up so you-
*GUNSHOTS*
Dr. Carlson: He knew too much.
[END RECORDING]
