Per 
Draft Title: Anomalous Encabulator
Item #: SCP-XXXX-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is to be kept in a large item containment locker fitted with Sindra-Alpha level electromechanical mesh to reduce interference caused by Bukovac nano-pulses. Access is limited to Level-2 personnel specializing in anomalous machinery. Personnel must perform percussive maintenance every thirty (30) days using epsilon rated millimeter adjustment equipment. If SCP-XXXX-J is utilized to operate a novertrunnion a quasistatic regeneration oscillator must be used in conjunction to prevent spontaneous deconstruction. Calibration with gyro-controlled sine-wave directors must be performed prior to all tests.
Description: SCP-XXXX-J is an anomalous model of ████████ designed by J.H. █████. The earliest known documentation dates to 194█. The primary function of SCP-XXXX-J is to supply inverse reactive current believed to be used in unilateral phase detractors. SCP-XXXX-J has also shown the ability to automatically synchronize cardinal grammeters. The outer casement of SCP-XXXX-J is composed of a tungsten-osmium micro-transducence alloy. The annular chooch coefficient of this alloy has severely impeded reverse engineering efforts. What has been ascertained is the inverse reactive current is produced by the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive duractance. The side of SCP-XXXX-J features a vacuum fluorescent display (VFD) for inrush current, percent realization, and skor motion factorization. The basal platen of SCP-XXXX-J is composed of prefamulated amulite, surmounted in a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way as to maintain the direct alignment of the two spurving bearings with the panametric fan. The latter consists of six hydrocoptic marzel vanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar wane shaft to prevent perpendicular migration while in operation. The main winding is of the lotus-o-delta configuration, common to non-anomalous class-3 mechanisms of this type. The main winding is placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator. Along the top, adjacent to the semi-boloid stator slots are forty-nine (49) cerebrally spaced kilometric brushes, insulted with gyrotomic cyanoethylated fibre bushings. Every seventh conductor is connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdle spring on the "up" end of the grammeters. SCP-XXXX-J requires no power source for operation. There is a receptacle near the aft of the mechanism designed to hold one (1) litre of recalcitrant tetraethyliodohexamine (TDIH) at a five (5) percent solution in dystalated dichloromethane (DCM). This is not required for operation, but does increase the skookumfactals of the panametric fan and the accuracy of grammeter synchronization. Regardless of the positronic algorithms input to the cathode follower, the obtuse tangential outlet constantly produces directional Bukovac nano-pulses. These pulses, while harmless to living creatures, will cause Vanderford interference with electronic devices within five (5) metres.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX-J was discovered in an electromechanics lab at ████ Community College in ██████, Ohio on 04/13/2006. The college had been using the device for advanced novertrunnion operation. It was brought to Foundation attention when a POI at the college made a social media post regarding SCP-XXXX-J. The anomaly was recovered, along with its instructions for operation, without incident using standard protocol Hypoluxia-4 on 05/01/2006. The instructions for SCP-XXXX-J mention a drawn reciprocating dingle arm for reduction of sinusoidal repleneration, however the aforementioned ancillary accessory was not recovered. The attachment point on SCP-XXXX-J has been broken off and replaced with a standard door knob. It is believed that this occurred before the college came into possession of SCP-XXX-J. See attached document XXXX-J-A for operation instructions.
Note: “Why is no one else excited about this? When was the last time we retrieved a skip with an instruction manual? The guys at Site-19 would XK to get their hands on some instructions for SCP- ████!”
-Senior Researcher Niederlander
Experiment Log
Experiment SCP-XXXX-J-1: Cardinal grammeter synchronization
Experiment Lead: Senior Researcher Niederlander
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-J was connected to a Sherman apparatus and a Belvinometric test was performed to ascertain the accuracy of cardinal grammeter synchronization. The aft reservoir was left empty for this test.
Results: SCP-XXXX-J took two minutes and eighteen seconds (2:18) to complete the Belvinometric test. Synchronization was performed with an accuracy of ∓ seven (7) millitacts.
Experiment SCP-XXXX-J-2: Cardinal grammeter synchronization
Experiment Lead: Senior Researcher Niederlander
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-J was connected to a Sherman apparatus and a Belvinometric test was performed to ascertain the accuracy of cardinal grammeter synchronization. The aft reservoir was filled with one (1) litre of recalcitrant tetraethyliodohexamine (TDIH) at a five (5) percent solution in dystalated dichloromethane (DCM).
Results: SCP-XXXX-J took one minute and forty-nine seconds (1:49) to complete the Belvinometric test. Synchronization was performed with an accuracy of ∓ one (1) millitact.
Experiment SCP-XXXX-J-3: Novertrunnion Operation
Experiment Lead: Senior Researcher Niederlander
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-J was attached to a novertrunnion via a quasistatic regeneration oscillator as per instructions. The device was activated and allowed to run the novertrunnion for three (3) minutes.
Results: SCP-XXXX-J succesfully operated the novertrunnion with a peak efficiency of 104%. The VFD showed a skor motion factorization of six (6).
Researcher Notes: Despite the absence of the drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal repleneration, SCP-XXXX-J still performs with remarkable efficency. Yes, it’s violating the laws of physics, but it wouldn’t be here if it didn’t.
Experiment SCP-XXXX-J-4: Novertrunnion Operation
Experiment Lead: Senior Researcher Niederlander
Procedure: SCP-XXXX-J was attached directly to a novertrunnion without the use of a quasistatic regeneration oscillator. The device was activated and allowed to run the novertrunnion for three (3) minutes.
Results: After one minute and sixteen seconds (1:16) the novertrunnion spontaneously deconstructed. The resultant high-velocity components caused minor damage to the test chamber. Junior researcher Spivey was struck in the leg by a bolt causing a minor avulsion. He was treated and returned to work three days later.
Researcher Notes: This is why we stand BEHIND the lexan! I don’t care if you want a closer look. Safe class skips can still kill you dammit!
