Spinydoughnut33

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept within a windowless standard humanoid containment chamber. SCP-XXXX's containment chamber is to remain unmonitored at all times. Under no circumstance is SCP-XXXX allowed to exit its chamber, through its own means or otherwise. When SCP-XXXX must be interacted with, the SRA stationed directly outside its chamber must be activated for the entire duration of contact. Any requests made by SCP-XXXX may be granted/rejected after manual review by the on-site Ethics Committee representative.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a 32-year-old overweight caucasian male by the name of David Habenbauer. Its anomalous properties manifest in a cognitohazardous effect perpetuated by small amounts of realty-bending1 centered on any and all sentient forms of life (hereafter referred to as "victims") within a 100 meter radius. This subtle reality-bending has no effect on its own; it is only when this reality-bending is combined with visual or auditory conformation of SCP-XXXX's existence that causes victims to regard SCP-XXXX with intense friendliness, amusement, and adoration, almost always resulting in dangerous lapses in judgement.

Extensive testing has shown that only seeing 5% of SCP-XXXX's body or listening a 500 millisecond clip of it's voice is enough to trigger this effect and have it be retained within a victim's mind for about one hour after exposure.2 In all cases, victims are unable to remember the period of time when the effect was active. This memory loss is possibly non-anomalous in nature, as testing has shown no traces of amnestics within victims during or immediately after their time under the influence of SCP-XXXX's effect. The true cause of the memory loss is currently unknown.

Discovery: The consequences of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects resulted in it only having been discovered 15 days after it entered Site-193, directly causing 3 containment breaches, 57 injuries, and █ deaths. Most notable of which was when several researchers under SCP-XXXX's influence "wanted Dave to meet the lizard." As SCP-XXXX has been shown to be mostly cooperative, a more detailed account of events preceding its official discovery can be found below. Although a full video log of the event is on file, due to the inherent security risks a transcription has been provided.

Addendum XXXX.1 - Interview:

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Capt. McIntyre, Dr. █████, and Level 2 Researcher Writt

Foreword: Researcher Writt—supervised by Dr. █████—was recording data regarding a new model of SRA and how it would react under physical stress. MTF Capt. McIntyre was outfitted with the new model and tests were in progress when SCP-XXXX entered the room.

<Begin Log>

[Extraneous Footage Removed]

Dr. █████: That's fifteen minutes. McIntyre, you can stop now.

[Capt. McIntyre slows to a stop on the treadmill used in the test, resting against it while breathing heavily. Researcher Writt moves in to perform a diagnostic on the SRA.]

Capt. McIntyre: Why's it always gotta be… fifteen [Expletive Omitted] minutes?!

Dr. █████: That's standard and you know it is. Writt, the diagnostic?

Researcher Writt: Initial Kant readings are normal, but there seems to be some stra-

[SCP-XXXX opens the door and enters the room appearing despondent, but suddenly clutches its forehead in pain.]

SCP-XXXX: Ow! The hell is going on in here?!

[There is silence for several seconds.]

Researcher Writt: What the f-

Dr. █████: McIntyre, grab him!

[Capt. McIntyre tackles SCP-XXXX, and drags it into the room while Dr. █████ moves to lock the door behind them. After several minutes of frantic argumentation, SCP-XXXX willingly sits down to be interviewed. Capt. McIntyre guards the door while Dr. █████ continues to supervise, leaving Researcher Writt to question SCP-XXXX.]

Researcher Writt: Okay, considering this interrogation is happening at very short notice-

Capt. McIntyre: What a [Expletive Omitted] understatement.

Researcher Writt: -we don't have an official list of questions to ask you. To preface, you will cooperate, yes?

SCP-XXXX: I- Uh, yeah, of course. It's not like I can do much with this spitting headache. Can you tell me the deal with that, and maybe, uh, turn it off?

[Researcher Writt and Dr. █████ exchange a glance. Dr. █████ gives approval.]

Capt. McIntyre: It's probably because of the SRA that is activated nearby. Which means you are at some level a reality bender, and since we do not know your full capabilities at this ti-

SCP-XXXX: Oh [Expletive Omitted], I'm one of those?

Researcher Writt: Yes, as I just said. That means you are a security r-

SCP-XXXX: So that's why people have been raving over me!

Researcher Writt: Please stop- Wait, what? Did you not know of your anomalous abilities?

SCP-XXXX: No! I-I mean, no one's told me [Expletive Omitted] anything! Even before I was abducted and arrived at this godforsaken place, I thought everyone had just gone crazy! Everything was normal, then all of a sudden I was getting [Expletive Omitted] swamped at 7-Eleven! People wouldn't leave me the [Expletive Omitted] alone!

Researcher Writt: Do you remember anything of importance happening the day before this ability first manifested? Perhaps receiving a strange item, or someone saying something to you?

SCP-XXXX: Pfft, really?! I hadn't talked to anyone in over two weeks before then! I hadn't had andy human contact at all except…

Researcher Writt: Except?

[SCP-XXXX puts its head in its hands and sighs.]

SCP-XXXX: An IRC chatroom for Gamers Against Weed. That's what GAW stands for, isn't it?

Researcher Writt: That is correct.

SCP-XXXX: …This is all my fault.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: After further deliberation, backup arrived and SCP-XXXX was escorted to a temporary holding cell. After an unintentional escape attempt, SCP-XXXX was moved to its current location.