SquidIce

Item #: SCP-XXXD

Object Class: Thaumeil

Special Containment Procedures: N/A

Description: SCP-XXXD appears to initially be a regular adult male Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris otherwise known as a Capybara. SCP-XXXD is 4.3 feet long and 2.1 feet high at his shoulders and weighs 49 kilograms.

SCP-XXXD has a multitude of anomalous ability. The most recognizable anomalous ability of SCP-XXXD is that he is capable of human speech. SCP-XXXD speaks perfect English and his voice is similar to that of a middle-aged Australian males voice despite capybaras typically residing and living in areas of South America . SCP-XXXD swears excessively in his speech and his Australian accent is incredibly thick. SCP-XXXD is capable of multiple human characteristics such as:

  • Moving in a bipedal manner (although he has stated he prefers walking in a quadrupedal manner)
  • Smoking
  • Using cutlery
  • Using and working a mobile phone
  • Performing math equations to a high IQ level
  • Holding jars, cans and tins in one hand

SCP-XXXD shows obvious signs of alcoholism. When intoxicated with alcohol, SCP-XXXD has frequent and significant mood swings in which SCP-XXXD can move from a tranquil/calm state to a sudden enraged state within a matter of seconds. There have been multiple incidents in which SCP-XXXD has attempted to assault researcher staff and security officers. Upon close examination of SCP-XXXD's body and anatomy, SCP-XXXD has a highly regenerative liver with significant damage done to it being healed approximately within 3 to 6 minutes. SCP-XXXD has the ability to slow down the aging process and has lived 6 times the average capybara lifespan and still shows no signs . SCP-XXXD is very responsive and cooperative to interviews and testing when in a highly intoxicated state, however, a large amount of what SCP-XXXD says is highly unreliable. An example of this is SCP-XXXD claiming:

I once had a headbutting fight with Mohammed Ali, we could only fight using our heads. *burps* I ran at him so hard and butted the twat a fuckin' good knock. Straight down to the fuckin' floor and he was not getting back up… *proceeds to vomit onto the floor*

Researcher Gustan was the researcher assigned to researching, interviewing and experimenting on SCP-XXXD. Researcher Gustan and SCP-XXXD have a close bond with SCP-XXXD stating multiple times that Researcher Gustan is the only staff member he will allow to interview him while in a non-intoxicated state.

SCP-XXXD has an extensive knowledge of undiscovered anomalous items and entities located around Western Australia. SCP-XXXD can tell Foundation staff:

  • The items and entities current location
  • Their level of danger to humanity
  • Where the Foundation will find the anomalous item/entity upon arrival
  • If they are affiliated with currently contained SCPs

When questioned about his knowledge of these anomalies, SCP-XXXD always states it is just a "sudden burst of knowledge" he obtains. These experiences are labelled as SCP-XXXD-1. SCP-XXXD-1 only occurs when SCP-XXXD is in a highly intoxicated state. SCP-XXXD-1 occurs typically between 12:00 AM to 4:30 AM and happen very rarely. When SCP-XXXD will experience SCP-XXXD-1 is unpredictable and research staff have not found a correlation between SCP-XXXD-1 instances and the periods of time between each instance.
Through SCP-XXXD-1, SCP-XXXD has allowed the Foundation to discover (5) anomalous items and objects and (2) anomalous entities awaiting classification and testing. When questioned about SCP-XXXD-1 in a sober state, SCP-XXXD claims he cannot recall any of the information he gave even if the information is repeated to him.

Interview 1-AB

Interview will be conducted by Researcher Gustan who has devised his own personal questions he would like to ask SCP-XXXD. These questions have been approved. SCP-XXXD enters interview room at 3:46 PM on Monday 12th 20██

SCP-XXXD: Gustan, my fuckin' man. How are we?

Researcher Gustan: I am well SCP-XXXD. Can you confirm for me please you are sober?

SCP-XXXD confirms with a Yes and a breathalyzer is used, confirming SCP-XXXD's answer

Researcher Gustan: Just some basic questions today SCP-XXXD, can you answer them to the best of your ability please?

SCP-XXXD: Please Gusto mate, call me Gareth. I mean that is my name, you might as well fuckin' use it.

Researcher Gustan: Okay Gareth. Firstly, can you describe your origin and how you came to develop your anomalous abilities?

SCP-XXXD: Well shit, gotta think far back to that. It was June 1962. I was only a little fella. Can't of been much older than 3 or 4 months. *SCP-XXXD is silent for a number of seconds, showing visual signs of confusion*. Sorry, memories a bit fucked, you know? *Once again, SCP-XXXD is silent but for a longer period of time* Alright, alright, I think I remember. I was being held at a Zoo in the outback. Place was a fuckin' shithole, leaky pipes, depressed animals, maybe a maximum of ten tourists everyday. Then one day, this cunt rocks up in a purple suit and white gloves with a vibrant, flowery top hat on. He had a convo with the head zookeeper there. Big fat bastard he was. Anyway, next thing you know I fall asleep and wake up on two feet. Walking about like I'm one of you lot. Over time I start to handle stuff, performing motherfuckin' mathematics and yeah.

Researcher Gustan: How interesting. Can you say any more about the man in the purple suit?

SCP-XXXD: Not much more to be honest Gusto. He was tall and skinny. No significant deformities or scars or nothing. Just looked like a really weird, extravagant bloke.

Researcher Gustan: Alright. Can you enlighten me on how you left the zoo?

SCP-XXXD: Sure can Gustareenio. In all honesty, it was nothing exciting. I just headbutted the shit out of my wooden cages walls until something broke. Due to leaky pipes, the wood was sodden so it was weak as shit. Funny thing was, I had never had thoughts of escaping until before I had this strange fuckin' change. Hey that rhymed.

Researcher Gustan: You've been very helpful today Gareth. I will alert you in a few days time for another similar interview, however, during your next interview, you will be intoxicated. Alright?

SCP-XXXD: Do we really have to end so soon? Come on Gusto mate, come into my cell. We'll sink a couple of pints and chill.

Researcher Gustan: Sorry Gareth. I have work and I'm sure you do not want to spend any more time in this cold, dull interview room. I will contact you in a few days time. Goodbye Gareth.

END OF INTERVIEW

As researcher Gustan leaves the room, SCP-XXXD appears to mutter something under his breath, microphones could not pick it up. SCP-XXXD spent the rest of his day in the corner of his cell, crying.