Per 
Excerpts from the journal of Researcher Matthew Hansen
January 16th, 1976
I was in the bathroom at site 24 when it appeared. I think "crashed" is more appropriate, though I can't be sure. All I remember was the deafening sound of its arrival. I rushed outside, from where the sound came, various other researchers and personnel doing the same. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by anything in this line of work, but for whatever reason, I don't think any of us were expecting to find a bowling alley. Not a huge one, just a run of the mill bowling alley, with a big sign hung over its door, with extravagant neon letters reading: "Milky Way Bowl-A-Rama!" And it was just… there. Where there was once an open space outside of site 24, now there was a bowling alley.
After some brief discussion, we had a perimeter set up around it, and a team lead by myself was ordered to enter. The interior looked exactly like you would expect it to, but it felt different. I felt a little heavier inside, as if whatever I was inside was much stronger than me, or any man for that matter.
And then it spoke.
I guess "spoke" is the wrong word. Above the pins, and stretching across the entire back wall hanging over the lanes was the name of the establishment. But as we entered, the letters started to change, and spell something.
"Welcome, champions."
I paused, and thought for a moment.
"Who do I speak to, if I may ask? Why do you call us champions?"
The letters rearranged once more.
"I am from beyond this world, and far before it. I have seen all, and destroyed more. I am a god of games, and I come to you, the foremost defenders of this world, to issue a challenge."
"And what challenge would that be?"
"I see that you contain beings of my power. So I propose this contest: I shall stay contained here outside your "site 24" on one condition. Every day, one of your champions must bowl a strike. If you fail to meet this condition even once, not only shall I leave, but I shall remove this world from existence, for all is within my power."
I stood and thought for a moment. This was all so fast, was there any guarantee that this thing was telling the truth? And was containment really as simple as just… going bowling? I decided to ask for proof, maybe against my better judgement.
"How do we know you are as powerful as you claim? And how do we know you will keep your word?"
The letters became amorphous, giving off the impression that it was thinking of a way to best respond. Finally it spoke again.
"I shall return him."
As these words appeared, one of the personnel beside me disappeared. Vanished out of thin air, as it were. I tried to call out to the missing colleague, but I could no longer even remember his name. Then, just as quick as he was gone, he was back. The bowling alley spoke again.
"You see my power? And his return? I have kept my word. I give you til tomorrow to bring me those you wish to represent your world in the game of bowling."
So he was telling the truth it seemed. The whole thing unnerved me, but I suppose that's to be expected. I didn't have too much to go off of. I asked another researcher and the personnel to stay and watch over our new acquisition. I exited the alley. I had a long night of finding the best bowlers in the foundation ahead of me.
January 17th, 1976
I returned to the alley early this morning with a small army of d-class personnel, all of whom claimed to be strong bowlers. I would've liked to see it in action beforehand, but somehow, with all the might of the foundation, no one had a set of bowling pins on hand to practice. I was going in more blind than anyone would've liked.
"Are you prepared to try to save this world, champions? You know the price of defeat, do you not? Your existence, revoked, all you have loved, eviscerated, and all you have ever known, lost to the doldrums of "what once was" and no longer "what is."
It continued like this for a while. The D-Class all looked nervous, startled before the being's strong words, and unsure of whether or not they should approach the lanes yet. Except for one. As the entity continued to monologue on its great terror and power, D-2323, stepped forward. He was a man of around 35 years of age. He was a broad figure, of about average height, with matted, longer black hair that rested just above his shoulders, a streak of grey or two manifesting itself as you looked closer. Where the rest of the d-class looked uncertain, D-2323 looked proud almost. He was grinning even. He approached a lane in the middle of the alley, took up a bowling ball, and as if it was the only thing he knew how to do, he bowled a strike. A perfect one. There was no teetering of pins and hoping for them to fall, just the sound of 10 pins being flung backwards. In the middle of its monologue, the being stopped, and refocused its attention to D-2323.
"You are a bold one, I see. You do not fear me, like your compatriots?"
"Well of course I'm a little nervous, not every day you meet all-powerful beings. Hell, not every day they challenge you to bowling." responded D-2323, with the deep voice of a well-learned storyteller.
"Then why do you rise to my challenge so proudly, mortal?" it asked.
"Nothing special. I just love bowling." he replied, with an endearing smile.
"You have just prevented the doom of your world, yet you are more concerned with the game you play, rather than the consequences of your task. I shall think on this. Until tomorrow, champions. Perhaps you shall not be so lucky, tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. It may takes ages, but that confidence shall break."
"Maybe. But til then, you mind if stay for a few lanes? It's been years since I last really bowled." asked D-2323.
The being took a moment, then complied, I stayed with them. Some of the D-Class asked to stay as well, but the entity revoked their request. I watched as D-2323 bowled for hours. He was incredible. With every frame you could feel how much fun he was having. I attempted to observe and take notes, but my mind often wandered to D-2323. I had been sweating bullets ever since the thing appeared, yet this man, with even less knowledge than myself, was fearless in the face of something much stronger than he could possibly imagine. I thought about him a great deal today.
November 24th, 1978
D-2323 bowled a near perfect game today. I think the thing was impressed. It speaks directly to him now, most of the time. Sometimes it speaks to me as well, though our interactions are much more formal. For 2 years now I've been keeping tabs on this thing, watching it's fascination with D-2323. I still don't know much about what it is, though I'm more inclined to believe it's claims these days. Sometimes it will manifest new additions to the alley, such as a TV, or a bar, etc. It gives no reason why when asked. I was attempting to take notes when I noticed the conversation between the two.
"You were already proficient when we started this venture. Your prowess has grown, champion."
"You're too kind." D-2323 muttered D-2323, trying to sound humble, while polishing his favorite bowling ball.
"Do not mistake my observations for altruism, mortal."
"Whatever you say, big guy." He grinned.
The two were silent for a moment. Then the being spoke again.
"Do you truly not tire of this game?"
"Do you truly not tire of asking?" quipped D-2323.
"Do you mock me, champion?"
"Oh no, I never found mockery of much use to anyone." He said, seeming to mean it.
"I find it fascinating how content you are. You are a prisoner. You have no rights. In this moment in time, you exist simply to bowl. Do you feel no malice for the man taking notes in the corner? Do you not long for a life outside of this, free from the heel of men in lab coats? He who feels no need to partake in the game himself."
I felt uneasy. I don't know why. Maybe it was just the reference to myself, but I found myself eagerly awaiting D-2323's response.
"Oh sure, it could be better. But any life I had before I ruined long before you showed up. Maybe this is my penance. To try and prevent the end of all the life on this planet as payment for the lives I ruined myself. But I don't much think of it like that. If I gotta be locked up, at least I can bowl. And I got some interesting company."
"Your kind are an interesting one. The scope of my being is so beyond your puny existence. Your speaking to me is no more than a fly, biting an elephant, yet I continue to ponder you. This has been my most exciting challenge yet, I believe.
"High praise, coming from you."
"This does not mean I shall not hesitate to remove you and all you know from this plane."
"Oh, I know. Still appreciated."
D-2323 bowled for a while longer. I thought about how strange this all was. Of all the reality benders and cosmic horrors I've come across in my time with the foundation, I had not seen one so interested in our relative smallness. I did not know something so powerful was capable of such intimate thought.
April 28th, 1983
D-2323 pulled his back out yesterday. Nothing too bad, but enough that he needed a day off from bowling for the planet's existence. We returned this morning for the first time in 7 years without D-2323. It noticed immediately.
"Where is the champion?"
"You mean D-2323?" I replied.
"Yes, researcher. It is unlike him to turn down a challenge."
"He screwed up his back the other day. He should be back tomorrow." I informed it.
"This is most disappointing. He is always so interesting."
The alley was quieter today. I checked on D-2323 once someone got a strike. I informed him that the thing missed him. He chuckled.
"Mama always said I had a magnetic personality."
I smiled, stifling a laugh.
"See you tomorrow, 2323."
He looked excited as I said it.
March 8th, 1993
He did it today. He finally did it. D-2323 bowled a perfect game. He is in 50's now, but his skill clearly hasn't decreased. I know I'm supposed to remain unbiased in all this, but over the past decade I have found myself drawn to D-2323's quest for a perfect game. It was incredible. Every frame, picture perfect.
"How's that, big guy?" He asked, looking to the alley for validation of his achievement.
"Most impressive champion. It has been a nice time, watching your journey. I was worried that your age would begin to betray as you progressed, but I have been proven wrong. It has been a long time since that has happened. Much longer than you can begin to comprehend."
"Oh you're such a softy, big guy."
"You speak to me with such familiarity."
"It's only been 17 years." D-2323 announced with a smile.
"The equivalent of blinking my eyes, to one such as I."
"A good chunk of my life, to one such as I. Yet here we are, chatting away, every day for 17 years. I'd say that just about makes us friends."
The being paused, truly seeming taken aback for the first time. It thought for a few seconds before responding.
"Friends? My kind do not have friends, we are far separated from such mortal conventions."
"Oh, I don't think that's true. If that were true I don't we'd be talking at all."
It thought for a long time again.
"You are the most interesting being I have ever met, I believe. Perhaps you are correct. I suppose I have had much fun these past years. This feeling is new to me. But I believe it to be the friendship you describe.
"I knew you'd come around, big guy. Another game?"
"Naturally, champion."
I didn't think it possible, let alone that I would be able to view it with my own eyes, but a man who loved bowling, had truly befriended a god. I believe I will sleep a little easier tonight.
January 17th, 2006
Today was the 30th anniversary of the meeting between D-2323 and the Milky Way Bowl-A-Rama. D-2323's best bowling days were behind him now, but I was able to convince some of the higher ups that allowing his continued presence would allow for easier containment.
To celebrate their friendship The two decided to throw a party. Failing to see any real harm, I allowed it to happen. All the personnel who had guarded the alley, and some of the other D-Class that the thing had grown fond of were invited. There were decorations covering the entire alley, and plenty of food and drinks, all provided by our resident "god of games". It seems like ages ago that I first stepped foot into this thing. I guess it has been ages. D-2323 isn't the only one getting older.
The two of them seemed elated to have everyone here. D-2323 has had a profound effect on his friend all these years. The thing has grown altogether more fond of people in general, not just D-2323, though he is clearly still the favorite. I didn't partake much in the festivities. No matter how much I wanted to I always tried to keep the mission in mind. I sat at a table, trying to monitor everything that was going on. It noticed me, speaking to me through a laminated menu that was lying on the table. It had also gotten much more creative.
"Why do you not enjoy yourself, doctor?"
"It's not in the job. Someone's gotta be the party-pooper."
"You are so driven by your role in this world. I was like that once as well. I neglected joy and fun for millennia. Your time is not limitless like mine. I recommend taking a break sometime. It is needed for us all. Why do you not join us in bowling, just this once?"
"Perhaps another time." I replied.
"I should hope so. It has been some time since you entered my doors, yet not once have I seen you truly enjoy yourself."
I stared at the menu containing the kind thoughts of a once malevolent god.
"You've changed quite a bit." I remarked.
"You have not," it responded "But perhaps I have some news that shall sway you. A surprise I have prepared."
It's words faded from the menu, and reappeared against the back wall like normal. It called everyone together as it had an announcement. It addressed the crowd.
"For ages untold, I had been lonely. It was not my place in the universe to have companions. I was a force of nature. The embodiment of the contest, there to enact a will incomprehensible to mortal minds. Upon this world, and thanks to a great friend, I have found joy once more. I have found peace. It is only fair I grant you some peace of your own. I have grown fond of this world. I have decided not to remove it from this plane should you fail my challenge. I only ask that you allow me to remain here, and keep my doors open for any who wish to bowl."
I was stunned. Befriending a god was a task in and of it self, but D-2323 had gotten one to abandon their destruction. It is perhaps the strongest thing I have seen man do.
D-2323 stepped forward.
"You're marvelous, big guy. Ain't I lucky to have a pal like you?"
"The luckiest, old friend."
I watched them all for a while. I couldn't help but crack a smile. Their fun was contagious, it seemed.
January 16th, 2016
D-2323's age is starting to get to him. I guess that's to be expected. He's in his 70's now, only a few years ahead of me. He hasn't bowled for a while, but today something was different. Maybe because it was the 40th anniversary of the thing coming here, and a day before the 40th anniversary of their meeting. They decided to celebrate the anniversary with a much smaller gathering this time around. Just them, and myself.
"I think I'd like to bowl a little today, maybe just a frame." D-2323 announced, a little while before D-2323 usually left for the night.
"A welcome surprise. I had thought you were not capable anymore, old friend."
"Well look at that big guy, I'll prove a omnipotent bowling alley wrong today"
"Best of luck champion"
D-2323 stood up, albeit sluggishly. I won't say I'm doing much better these days, but D-2323 was slower than normal. He looked tired now, however it wasn't like fatigue. Rather, he had the face of a man who had a great fullness within him. Tired yes, but also content. He made his way to the lane and picked up his favorite bowling ball. To save him the time, the being had created a small pedestal for it to rest, next to his favorite lane. The ball looked heavier in his hand than it used to, but once he started to wind up you couldn't tell anymore. The bowling ball left his hand with a grace and speed I hadn't seen before, even from someone of his expertise. It sailed down the lane, and crashed perfectly.
A strike.
"Told you I still got it." He smirked.
We left soon after. D-2323 looked around his friend a great deal. His eyes examined every nook and cranny, before he smiled, turned around, and said goodbye. It was more heartfelt than normal.
January 17th, 2016
D-2323 passed away last night. The news hit heavy. We weren't even particularly close, but he was such a constant in my life for so long. It was hard to imagine my routine without him. Worst of all, it was my job to inform his best friend of his passing. I worried for it's reaction, both emotionally, and what it might do in mourning. I entered through the door.
"Hello, researcher." He said, before noticing his friends absence. "Where is my friend?"
"I… I don't know how to say this. D-2323 passed away last night."
There was a long pause. It's silence was filled with sorrow.
"I see. How did he pass?"
"Peacefully, in his sleep. I'm told he was smiling when they found him."
"That is… comforting, in some small way."
There was another silence. Finally it spoke again.
"I would like to be alone for some time, if that is possible. I promise that I shall not destroy the world in grief, I just request time to mourn the truest friend I have ever known. I am always true to my word."
I paused myself. I didn't know how I was going to explain this to the higher ups, but I couldn't bring myself to deny his request. I nodded and turned to leave, but stopped myself.
"He told me something, as I escorted him back last night. He said 'You know, after all these years, I'm glad I was able to find a friend who enjoys bowling as much as I do.' I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I thought you should know."
"Thank you." It said, as I turned to leave. As I left, for the first time, I heard the doors of the Milky Way Bowl-A-Rama lock behind me, and saw the lights dim.
February 20th, 2016
It reopened today. It had closed itself off for almost a month. I rushed inside, though my weary old body wasn't too excited about it.
"You're back!" I exclaimed, out of breath.
"Yes. I have been absent too long. I have thought much in the time I have mourned. He… would want everyone to keep bowling. To have fun in his memory. It shall be hard, without the presence of the champion, but I shall continue. It is the least I can do. How lucky I am to have had a friend of such devotion. Not all, in my kind or in your kind, are as fortunate."
I gave a half smile and stared at the back wall of words.
"Should I tell everyone the lanes are open?" I inquired
"Please, but first, a request."
"What is it?" I asked
"Bowl with me, just once?"
I stared at the words for a second. 40 years of my life in this room, and I had never truly let myself enjoy it. I looked at the words once more, and smiled. Making my way over to a lane, I picked up a bowling ball, and let it sail down the polished wood.
Gutter.
I looked at it for a second. Gutter? It was almost comical. Not almost. It was. I began to laugh. I laughed harder than I ever had in years, maybe in my whole life. As I laughed I thought back on D-2323 proudly showing off his bowling skill to an unknown, all powerful god, some 40 years ago. I think it thought back on that moment as well. I think it laughed with me.
