Per 
- cursed shitpost
- SCP-XXXX: Normal Tomatoes
- oh oh fuck, I'm running out of time
- SCP-XXXX-EX: Excuses For Not Fulfilling The Holy
- Can You See The Cat?
- Basically anomalous 1-800-GOLF TIP
- react
- workshop by dado
- Yet another polar bear article
- A Fictional Wanderer
- Empty Spaces
You had only just finished lunch when the site director handed him the USB drive You had asked for.
"thanks, John"
No response. You hadn't expected an answer from him, considering what has supposedly been happening for the last few weeks.
You get back to your computer and insert the USB drive:
——————————————————————————————————————————————————
On 2019-08-01 a group of four assassins were instructed to terminate one D█████ D████(POI-351274). The following log documents their failed attempts.
Date: 2019-08-01
Assassin: Xavier Wellington
Location: McDonalds located in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
Instructions: poison targets meal
Results: Assassin entered location and claimed to be the "Hamburglar" before threatening bystanders with a .22 pistol. Assassin then left the McDonalds and fled to an unknown location. Witnesses administered class A amnestics.
So either our target produced some memetic effect, or Xavier is out of his mind. Either ways, the rest of them seem fine, so we will continue our attempts - Dr. Cimmerian
Date: 2019-08-02
Assassin: Jacob Brownly
Location: POI's apartment located in Basstrop, Texas, U.S.Ad
Instructions: Slit POI's throat while asleep
Results:Assassin enters location and stands at the foot of POI's bed. Assassin then pulls out three buck knives and proceeds to juggle them. POI then grabs handgun and opens fire on Assassin, fatally wounding him.
Okay something is seriously wrong. POI is to be taken into custody and tested for anomalous effects - Dr.Cimmerian
——————————————————————————————————————————————————
Date: 2019-08-05
Instructions: D-3638905 is to enter temporary containment cell with POI
Results: D-3638905 enters containment cell. Ten seconds pass before D-3638905 tells POI several "knock knock jokes" POI laughs for several minutes before on-site nukes are detonated through unknown means.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————
There's one more log but before you get the chance to read it, you feel a tap on your shoulder.
"Admiring another work of mine, I see"
It's Dr.Bright.
"Oh, don't act surprised, practically everything that happens in this world is because of me!"
And with the snap of his fingers, you collapse upon the ground.
SCP-XXXX instances.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Scp-XXXX is to be contained within a standard safe storage locker held at Site-19. All Foundation personnel with level two clearance or higher are permitted testing of SCP-XXXX at the discretion of the site director.
Description: SCP-XXXX is 40 cherry tomatoes (Lycopersicon lycopersicum var. cerasiforme). SCP-XXXX's anomalous capabilities manifest when an individual is made aware of the presence of SCP-XXXX in their immediate vicinity. The individual will firmly believe that all instances of SCP-XXXX are sentient. Individuals have experienced auditory hallucinations in which they report hearing SCP-XXXX produce human-like vocalizations. Individuals describe SCP-XXXX instances as "scared, nervous, and untrusting" due to their vocalizations being described as childlike. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties do not manifest when exposed to Foundation personnel.1
Addendum:
Subject(s): Five (5) instances of SCP-XXXX
Foreword: D-38291 is instructed to make eye contact with SCP-XXXX and transcribe SCP-XXXX's statements. Afterward, D-38291 is to test effects of SCP-XXXX consumption.
Begin Log:
(D-38291 makes eye contact with SCP-XXXX)
D-38291: What the hell? How the fuck are you ta-
Test Overseer: Just follow what we told you, 38291.
D-38291: Fine, hello th- what? I can barely hear you!
(D-38291 arranges pile of SCP-XXXX instances into a row)
D-38291: Dear God, how long have you guys been piled like that? A couple of weeks! No wonder you're crying!
(D-38291 leans in and speaks in a noticeably quieter tone)
D-38291: Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you. I just need you to calm down. When were you first able to talk?
Test Overseer: Please transcribe their responses, 38291.
D-38291: They tell me that it's always been this way. They just don't know why the men in coats can't hear them. They're talking about you, aren't they?
Test Overseer: We told you 38291, they aren't sentient. This is all happening in your head, Foundation personnel just can't talk to them.
D-38291: I'm Foundation personnel, aren't I?
(Test Overseer pauses)
Test Overseer: Just continue.
D-38291: What do you guys do all day?
(D-38291 pauses for several seconds)
D-38291: They've just been rotting in a bin. They can't move, they can't talk, they can't even breathe. They're trapped. Why can't you guys just let them out?
Test Overseer: That's outside of your control.
D-38291: Wait, I'm not the first guy they've tested these things on, aren't I? What have the men in coats done to you?
Test Overseer: It would be advisable to stick to the script before further action is needed.
D-38291: You've… oh dear god. You've sliced them, crushed them, diced them. What's next? Am I going to eat one of them or something?
Test Overseer: Actually, yes. You are to consume an SCP-XXXX specimen.
D-38291: …I'm not going to do that.
Test Overseer: We'll give you one more chance 38291. Consume the specimen or suffer the consequences.
D-38291: I… I'm sorry for what I'm about to do.
(D-38291 consumes SCP-XXXX specimen)
D-38291: It tastes… like a tomato. What did you expect? I can hear it fucking screaming down my throat. It's crying.
D-38291: You burnt them, blended them, and torn them apart. They're begging for mercy, no wonder they trust no one.
(D-38291 escorted out of testing chamber)
Shortly after this test log, SCP-XXXX was reclassified as anomalous item.
SCP-XXXX was shipped to an anomalous item storage facility when it was intercepted by an unknown group of individuals shortly after shipment. After arriving at the facility, the only item found within SCP-XXXX was the following handwritten note:
Even after twenty or so tests, you still couldn't figure it out. For once, you didn't know why or how but you kept moving on. Test after test after test, leading to what? Nothing. You're not doing this in the name of science. You're doing this because you can't stand the thought of actually listening for once. You can't stand the thought of listening to a D Class. That's why you couldn't hear them.
You simply weren't listening.
- Signed, Tamtopede
SCP-XXXX reverted to SCP status.
[[tab SCP-XXXX: Normal Tomatoes]]
SCP-XXXX instances.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Scp-XXXX is to be contained within a standard safe storage locker held at Site-19. All Foundation personnel with level two clearance or higher are permitted testing of SCP-XXXX at the discretion of the site director.
Description: SCP-XXXX is 40 cherry tomatoes (Lycopersicon lycopersicum var. cerasiforme). SCP-XXXX's anomalous capabilities manifest when an individual is made aware of the presence of SCP-XXXX in their immediate vicinity. The individual will firmly believe that all instances of SCP-XXXX are sentient. Individuals have experienced auditory hallucinations in which they report hearing SCP-XXXX produce human-like vocalizations. Individuals describe SCP-XXXX instances as "scared, nervous, and untrusting" due to their vocalizations being described as childlike. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties do not manifest when exposed to Foundation personnel.2
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered in a hotel located in Las Vegas, Nevada. SCP-XXXX was housed in a terrarium residing in the entrance of the hotel. All guests were extremely protective of SCP-XXXX, physically berating any individuals who harmed SCP-XXXX specimens. The foundation was contacted when nearby businesses and local residents entered the hotel and were detained by local authorities. Foundation operatives observed attempts to plant SCP-XXXX instances in an effort of preserving SCP-XXXX through their offspring before acquiring SCP-XXXX.
Addendum:
| Subject | Foreword | Experiment | Results | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| D-49329 | Subject framed for murder, put on death row | D-38291 is instructed to make eye contact with SCP-XXXX and transcribe SCP-XXXX's statements. Afterward, D-38291 is to test effects of SCP-XXXX consumption. | subject able to manifest SCP-XXXX's anomlous abilities (See addendum XXXX-B). | |
| D-18289 | Subject murdered two men, put on death row | D-38291 is instructed to make eye contact with SCP-XXXX and transcribe SCP-XXXX's statements. Afterward, D-38291 is to test effects of SCP-XXXX consumption. | subject unable to manifest SCP-XXXX's anomlous abilites | |
| D-39211 | Previously foundation personel, demoted to d class on acount of murder | D-38291 is instructed to make eye contact with SCP-XXXX and transcribe SCP-XXXX's statements. Afterward, D-38291 is to test effects of SCP-XXXX consumption. | subject unable to manifest SCP-XXXX's anomlous abilites |
Subject(s): Five (5) instances of SCP-XXXX
Foreword: D-38291 is instructed to make eye contact with SCP-XXXX and transcribe SCP-XXXX's statements. Afterward, D-38291 is to test effects of SCP-XXXX consumption.
Begin Log:
(D-38291 makes eye contact with SCP-XXXX)
D-38291: What the hell? How the fuck are you ta-
Test Overseer: Just follow what we told you, 38291.
D-38291: Fine, hello th- what? I can barely hear you!
(D-38291 arranges pile of SCP-XXXX instances into a row)
D-38291: Dear God, how long have you guys been piled like that? A couple of weeks! No wonder you're crying!
(D-38291 leans in and speaks in a noticeably quieter tone)
D-38291: Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you. I just need you to calm down. When were you first able to talk?
Test Overseer: Please transcribe their responses, 38291.
D-38291: They tell me that it's always been this way. They just don't know why the men in coats can't hear them. They're talking about you, aren't they?
Test Overseer: We told you 38291, they aren't sentient. This is all happening in your head, Foundation personnel just can't talk to them.
D-38291: I'm Foundation personnel, aren't I?
(Test Overseer pauses)
Test Overseer: Just continue.
D-38291: What do you guys do all day?
(D-38291 pauses for several seconds)
D-38291: They've just been rotting in a bin. They can't move, they can't talk, they can't even breathe. They're trapped. Why can't you guys just let them out?
Test Overseer: That's outside of your control.
D-38291: Wait, I'm not the first guy they've tested these things on, aren't I? What have the men in coats done to you?
Test Overseer: It would be advisable to stick to the script before further action is needed.
D-38291: You've… oh dear god. You've sliced them, crushed them, diced them. What's next? Am I going to eat one of them or something?
Test Overseer: Actually, yes. You are to consume an SCP-XXXX specimen.
D-38291: …I'm not going to do that.
Test Overseer: We'll give you one more chance 38291. Consume the specimen or suffer the consequences.
D-38291: I… I'm sorry for what I'm about to do.
(D-38291 consumes SCP-XXXX specimen)
D-38291: It tastes… like a tomato. What did you expect? I can hear it fucking screaming down my throat. It's crying.
D-38291: You burnt them, blended them, and torn them apart. They're begging for mercy, no wonder they trust no one.
(D-38291 escorted out of testing chamber)
Item #: SCP-XXXX-EX
Object Class: Uncontained Explained (See Addendum-XXXX-D)
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the unwillingness of the Horizon Initiative to cooperate with the Foundation in regards to the containment of SCP-XXXX, containment has been deemed unfeasible at the present time. Current Foundation implants in the Horizon Initiative are to retrieve information regarding SCP-XXXX. Any member of the Foundation who has read SCP-XXXX is to be given Class-A amnestics and quarantined for a period of one month before being released under psychiatric supervision. Foundation web crawlers are to constantly monitor the internet for any usage of SCP-XXXX and delete them.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a poem that, when exposed to an individual through either visual or verbal means, will trigger a memetic phenomenon. This phenomenon results in the alienation of beliefs that are commonly practiced in groups in which the viewer is a member of.3. SCP-XXXX was first brought to attention by Foundation implants residing in the Horizon Initiative after a large sum of individuals leaving the group. Little information regarding the nature or origin of SCP-XXXX due to the Foundation only recently being notified of the existence of SCP-XXXX. The only reliable source of information regarding SCP-XXXX is a letter given to all Initiative members, retrieved by Foundation implants (See Addendum XXXX-A). Further investigation into SCP-XXXX is ongoing.
Addendum:
It is with great sorrow that we must announce that a disease is spreading throughout the Initiative. One that cannot be touched, seen, nor perceived in any other way than its vile origin. This disease can only be acquired when reading a poem of Sarkic origin. The victim will reject the teachings of our Lord and question our ways. The victim will be alienated to us, growing farther and farther apart day by day. This has become a pandemic here in the Initiative.
It is for this reason that we have erected a new subdivision, The Herders, for the sole purpose of tearing down this Sarkic spawn. We thank you for cooperation.
SCP-XXXX was filed when Foundation implants received this letter, leading to the investigation surrounding SCP-XXXX. Foundation implants have simultaneously documented an increase of riots and infighting within the Initiative. Foundation implants insist that these two events are correlated and that containment of SCP-XXXX is of utmost priority.
Foreword: The following Audio Log is an excerpt from a lecture regarding SCP-XXXX given to Initiative members and subsequently recorded by Foundation implants. Recorded several days after Horizon Initiative's letter was first received.
<Begin Log.>
Speaker: On this sad day, I must remark to you that the Sarkics influence is growing. We are reaching a point where the Initiative is on its knees, due to this retched… disease. I know many of you have questions regarding the ongoing issue of this disease rampaging through us, but we will save those for the end. Right now, The Herders are hard at work finding a method to terminate the poem. The following is information that we believe you may want to hear:
One. The content of the poem is unknown but is highly suspected to be Sarkic teachings.
Two. The content of the message does not seem to affect Sarkics.
Three. It is unknown why the poem hasn't spread to other organizations.
Four. It is believed that the poem is responsible for the recent riots, infighting, and overall influx of rebellion within the Initiative.
<End Log.>
Foreword: The following Audio Log is a conversation between a Foundation implant (Dr. Anderson) and a Herder during the question and answer segment of the lecture.
<Begin Log.>
Dr. Anderson: Hello there. I would just like to ask how do you know that Sarkics are immune to the poem?
(Speaker pauses.)
Speaker: We have run the appropriate tests.
Dr. Anderson: So you're implying that you've been in possession of a Sarkic before?
Speaker: Uh… Yes! We have successfully detained a Sarkic.
Dr. Anderson: So you're implying you have a copy of the verse? And you haven't tested it?
Speaker: Ah… Yes, of course we tested it.
Dr. Anderson: What were the results?
(Speaker pauses.)
Speaker: There were none. Our researchers that the poem is designed to attack people who are of the Abrahamic religion, the true faith. They were pagans, so they weren't affected.
Dr. Anderson: And what's with the theory that the poem has something to do with Sarkic folklore?
(Speaker pauses.)
Dr. Anderson: Wait a minute, how were you not affected by the poem when it was tested?
(Inititiative guards escorts Foundation implant out of the lecture.)
<End Log.>
Several hours after the recording of this log, Dr. Anderson ceased all communication with the Foundation. The location of Dr. Anderson is currently unknown.
Interviewed: POI-19283 (ex-member of the Horizon Initiative)
Interviewer: Agent Greyson (a member of MTF Rho-9)
Foreword: Due to inconsistencies with the Initiative's findings regarding SCP-XXXX, it has been declared that The Herders have not and will not find a sufficient method of containing SCP-XXXX. As such, MTF Rho-9 ("Technical Support") was tasked with scanning the Horizon Initiative text database in an attempt to uncover information regarding the nature of SCP-XXXX as to discern a method of containment. During their exploration of the database, they detected an unauthorized individual simultaneously scanning the database. Said individual is an ex-member of the Initiative believed to be affected by SCP-XXXX. The following is an interview conducted via a communication link with the subject.
<Begin Log>
[00:99:92] CONNECTION ESTABLISHED
[00:99:92] /* Enter Password
[00:99:99] Access Authorized, Welcome to the FlockDr. Greyson: Hello there. Why did you leave the Initiative?
POI-19283: I just slowly drifted away from them. With time I realized that their ideology was inherently flawed.
Dr. Greyson: So you left your religion?
POI-19283: Oh heavens no! I would never leave my faith. I just didn't agree with the idea of mixing a bunch of religions into one.
Dr. Greyson: Wait, so you still attend church?
POI-19283: Yes, non-anomalous ones. Religion is supposed to bring you peace, but there was nothing but fighting in the Initiative.
Dr. Greyson: You didn't participate in the fights?
POI-19283: I kept my faith and tried to keep out of trouble. Although I don't blame them, pretty much everyone was fed up with the Initiative's antics.
Dr. Greyson: Why was that?
POI-19283: It was clear from the beginning that the concept wouldn't work, but they kept going. For every decision a sector agreed with, two others hated.
Dr. Greyson: How long has this been happening?
POI-19283: Years. It only recently reached its boiling point when Priest Jobe left.
Dr. Greyson: And who is Priest Jobe exactly?
POI-19283: I thought you said you've been researching the Initiative for weeks. Surely they sent a letter or had a meeting, or at least something telling you implants of his departure!
Dr. Greyson: And one last question. Why were you searching thought the Initiative's text database?
POI-19283: I believed that the Initiative was hiding something. I found a document about a poem that made you lose your faith. However, the information didn't seem to add up. Considering you didn't know about the departure of Priest Jobe I fear I may be correct.
[03:00:90] CONNECTION ENDED
[03:00:95] Till We Meet Again, Sheppard<End Log>
Closing Statement: After further investigation, it was found that there is no basis for the existence of SCP-XXXX. It is highly suspected that SCP-XXXX was a coverup for the recent departure of a high ranking priest within the initiative leading to a mass exodus of departure and rebellion within the group. SCP-XXXX reclassified as explained.
SCP-XXXX's revised logo of Georgism.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a Baser-Gulyang Extra-Dimensional Humanoid Object (EDHO) containment chamber at Site-67. Presently, SCP-XXXX may be utilized by individuals with at least Level-4 clearance who have been given approval by the SCP-XXXX containment team. Any potential utility of SCP-XXXX that is predicted to conflict with Directive Tributum is to be denied (See addendum B).
Under no circumstances are individuals fitting any of the following criteria to be permitted access to SCP-XXXX:
- Individuals who have filed their own tax returns.
- Past or present Certified Public Accountants or Enrolled Agents who specialize in the filing of tax returns.
- Past or present employees of the Internal Revenue Service or any analogous branch of government
- Past or present instructors of classes that have covered tax-related material, including but not limited to economics, civics, politics, financial responsibility, etc.
- Past or present students of classes that have covered tax-related material, including but not limited to economics, civics, politics, financial responsibility, etc.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a humanoid entity with no discernible features or characteristics, measuring 2-meters in height and 172 kilograms in weight. SCP-XXXX displays the anomalous ability to drastically change its appearance at will. SCP-XXXX has been recorded to utilize this ability 3 times in order to impersonate the following individuals:
- Henry George for a 2 week period before the release of Progress and Poverty in 1879.
- Jim Davis shortly before the release of the first Garfield comic strip (June 19, 1978).
- John Blyth Barrymore shortly before the release of 07/27/1978
SCP-XXXX does not age and has changed its appearance to reflect the aging of an individual it was currently impersonating. Furthermore, SCP-XXXX does not require sustenance of any variety.
SCP-XXXX's actions seem to indicate that the entity's motivations are to disseminate the political ideology of Georgism although it is uncertain if it has fulfilled its intentions at the present moment. SCP-XXXX does not display any aggressive behavior towards Foundation staff, excluding individuals who fit the criteria listed in the Special Containment Procedures. Individuals who fit these criteria will be terminated through means that are most accessible at the present time. It is believed that SCP-XXXX does this act in an effort to terminate proponents of any non-single tax ideology (due to no nations currently implementing Georgism).
SCP-XXXX is of extradimensional origin and has performed the above actions in several separate universes before relocating to our universe.
It is unknown where the current location is of SCP-XXXX's victims is at the present time.
| Subject Impersonated | Date of impersonation | Actions taken by SCP |
|---|---|---|
| Henry George | 1878/12/04 | Radically altered the Georgism logo to an orange feline labeled as "Garfield," a derogatory term used to label landlords. SCP-XXXX has altered the novel, Progress and Poverty as to coincide with this use of "Garfield" several times. |
| Jim Davis | 1978/03/18 | SCP-XXXX has used Garfield and his image in the political satire comic, "Garfield". The Garfield comic portrays the character Garfield as a representation for landlords and consists mostly of Georgist propaganda aimed at adolescences aged 7-12. |
| John Blyth Barrymore | 2017/01/01 | SCP-XXXX appears as the sole actor in the film 07/27/1978, a film that discusses the comic "Garfield" and it's figurative analogies portrayed through its characters and how it directly correlates with traditional Georgist values. |
Directive Tributum was enacted to ensure SCP-XXXX does not acquire information regarding the state of Georgism after its enactment. This is to ensure SCP-XXXX is in proper condition to be used as a possible interviewer of select humanoid anomalies.
Directive Tributum is a set of procedures enacted every 2 weeks consisting of introducing SCP-XXXX to several Foundation produced examples of anti-Georgist propaganda films. Said films consist of the following:
- Henry Geroge is a largely despised historical figure by the general populous.
- Georgism is mocked by the general populous.
- The term "Garfield" is used as a compliment by the general populous.
- Landlords are known as heroes in modern society.
SCP-XXXX is to be told that the propaganda that it has been exposed to was produced as educational pieces by the United States government.
Furthermore, SCP-XXXX is to be told the SCP foundation is a pro-Georgist organization, with its main goal being to propagate the use of Georgism worldwide.
Update 2018-02-05: After approximately 7 months after the enactment of Directive Tributum, SCP-XXXX has been cleared for the interview of humanoid anomalies.
SCP-XXXX has been selected for this use due to its ability to change its appearance at will. Shortly before an interview is conducted, SCP-XXXX is to be told that the interviewee contains valuable information concerning possible Georgist policies (under the pretense that the Foundation is attempting to deduce these policies through the use of an interview.)
SCP-XXXX is to be constantly reassured that the questions it has been given are aiding the Foundation's perceived goals.
SCP-XXXX is to change its appearance to match acquaintances of the interviewee, in order to make the interviewee more likely to present extra information.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor several social media websites for instances of SCP-XXXX and summarily delete them. Due to SCP-XXXX-1's prevalent discussion by social media users, suppression of information regarding SCP-XXXX-1 has been deemed infeasible.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an image advertisement for a non-existent telephone number. SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects manifest when viewed, causing a memetic effect in which the viewer believes that the telephone number displayed in the image was consistently called by the viewer in their adolescence. Explanations
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Basic idea: A reaction test website that transports you to a pocket dimension if you take to long to react.
An image advertising SCP-XXXX-1 found on several social media websites.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor social media websites for SCP-XXXX-1's URL, literature affected by SCP-XXXX, and discussions of SCP-XXXX so they can be summarily deleted. Individuals participating in SCP-XXXX-1 writing seminars are to be administered Class A amnestics. Access to SCP-XXXX-1 is to be granted to personnel with Level 2 clearance or higher.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a memetic phenomenon in which the quality of literature, as interpreted by its viewers, increases with the decrease of mental effort used to produce said literature.
SCP-XXXX-1 is a website accessible from the domain "www.workshopbydado.com." Contents of this website consist of a Chat Room administrated by an entity using the username "dado". Seemingly at random, "dado" hosts a writing seminar in which SCP-XXXX-1 chatroom members coordinate to write pieces of literature. SCP-XXXX only affects literature produced within SCP-XXXX-1 writing seminars.
Discovery: On 2020/03/04 SCP-XXXX was discovered when several extremely short literary works began gaining intense popularity and critical acclaim. Examples include:
I walked into a hole and then exited the hole.
Televisions are viewable by me and are pleasurable to be viewed by me.
dado is dado is dado
So Flowers. Huh.
L
When questioned, authors of these works claimed to have created these works at a writing seminar held on SCP-XXXX-1.
Addendum:
On 2020/03/09, an undercover Foundation employee attended a SCP-XXXX-1 writing seminar to speak to "dado" about why SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 was created.
Hello, I would like to speak to dado. I hope they're here, it seems there hasn't been much activity here recently.
hello yes it is slow business day. Lost many visitor. lack of traffic, but dado is not afraid of car, so dado continue seminar
I would like to ask why you created this website.
shhhh dado has no time for tom foolery. dado only wants writing in writing seminar. write.
Fine, may I write about asking why you've created this website?
dado give u one break. only this one. dado see many documentation about fine dado product in fancy cursive and high-end words. talking about "anomalies" and "pharmacies." dado wants to teach customer to write words, not cursive
I see.
but now is no time for chit chat. now is time for seminar story. prompt for this time is hill
Apologies, I don't have time for the rest of the seminar.
dado insists u write.
Here, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hill, that's my story.
no u must condense it. simple stories, remember?
(Foundation Employee posts a photo of a hill) There, it's a hill. Zero words, simple as can be
dado is disappointed. photo = 1000 words
The Foundation employee was subsequently permanently banned from the chatroom following this interaction. The Foundation employee then used a Virtual Private Network to regain access to SCP-XXXX-1.
Why did you ban that user?
dado has strict policy. dado does not need people ruining dado's high reputation.
Well, I myself have some questions to ask.
y. dado only want to make people write normal and good. yet people like u want only want to ask questions and harass dado.
It was only one user, dado, it'll be quick. Just spare five or so minutes out of your day to answer some questions.
u are incorrect. people have been rude to dado for many week now. and now seminar business is dying, and dado somewhat dislikes death.
Please expand upon that statement.
anartist come here and say "wow u make many people famous" and dado say "yes dado host quality seminar now write" and anartist did write.
That sounds great, they must've brought a lot of attention to this website.
no u see story takes turn for worst. sadly, anartist wrote very long 7000 word article. dado say "no do not do that" and anartist say "no." when anartist publish article everyone used pan to berate article and no one liked it. then anartist say "do not go to dado workshop" and now no one go to seminar.
That's quite unfortunate.
yes very unfortunate. ok now seminar is over bye
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-XXXX is not feasible at this moment. All Foundation personnel affected by SCP-XXXX are to be administered Class C amnestics.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon in which Foundation personnel perceive the majority of SCPs as polar bear (Ursus Maritimus) related in some manner. Personnel experience SCP-XXXX spontaneously and at random.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered shortly after the publication of this document's first iteration, due to the original document's author being under the effects of SCP-XXXX.
Addendum:
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is unable to be contained at the present moment. As such, SCP-XXXX's Containment Procedures are pending.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon affecting all SCPs in the Foundation possession, in which SCPs are statistically likely to be related to Polar Bear (Ursus Maritimus) related .
Fred had always lead an aimless life. He would hop from literature to literature, whether it was a 700 page novel or a pamphlet for the local park, without a care in the world. This was quite unusual when compared to other anomalies. Most hid from the world as to avoid being caught by the many organizations out to hunt them down.
Some had first hand encounters with such organizations, others were told fables of The Bookburners, a group devoted to eliminating abnormalities. Fred, however, did not know about these organizations for a great many years.
One day, he decided to enter a particularly strange book. A collection of multiple documents about an extradimensional space, an infinite library holding all literature. He played a minor role, being a patron mentioned only twice in the entire book. Each time, however, he noticed a symbol placed by a set of words:
⠀
⠀
⠀
⠀
Welcome to the Wanderers Library⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀
⠀
⠀
This "Wanderers Library" intrigued him greatly. Of course, there was a chance that this book was just fiction, but there weren't any indications of this.
"Wanderer" was an accurate way of describing Fred's lifestyle. Interesting literary settings were getting harder to come by, and living in an infinite Library would easily alleviate that problem. Now all he had to do was somehow find a way to enter this Library.
Luckily, the owner of this particular book wasn't carrying it around for no reason. They were a patron of the Wanderers Library, only visiting the Earth for a short while.
Fred was not aware of this, and so he was confused greatly when he did not come into contact with another piece of literature for two weeks. After the patron was done with their visit, they returned to the Library through a way.
Fred found himself surrounded by thousands upon thousands of books. Almost immediately, he began exploring each and every one of them.
Fred had been wandering the Wanderers Library for about three years at this point. He had seen hundreds of genres, from romance to comedy to fantasy. Fred had lived in the Library long enough to comfortably call himself a Wanderer. At first, the patrons were terrified when they found their favorite suddenly had a new character in it. Over time, however, they became more and more aware of his presence. He had even become something of a local celebrity.
At this point, Fred had found out about the existence of The Bookburners, The Merchants, and other groups out to capture abnormalities. One group he knew little about was The Jailers. A group from other worlds that contained anomalies like him.
He tended to avoid books about these groups, as it made him particularly uncomfortable. One day he felt a burst of confidence, leading to him exploring some of the entries made by The Jailers. This continued until he reached an entry that caught him off guard:
Item #: SCP-423
…SCP-423 is able to enter textual narratives, inserting itself as a minor character. The details of the character vary from story to story, but it is always named "Fred," or something similar, and its role in the story is usually minor.
Fred would describe himself as a wanderer. This Fred, however, was a prisoner.
The document went on:
…
Addendum 423-2: The use of SCP-583 to destroy SCP-423 has been suggested. While the SCP is not slated for destruction at the present time, it has been noted should circumstances change.
"Why would they feel the need to include this?," he pondered. He didn't consider himself much of a threat. Was it out of confusion? Paranoia?
He thought this Foundation was supposed to be the more rational one out of the other groups. It was then that Fred realized how lucky he was. To live free without the threat of organizations trying to crush him. To live without even knowing about these organizations for so many years.
Of course, he knew at a base level that these organizations were evil. To see himself be handled by one of these groups was… frightening, to say the least.
Fred finally realized how lucky he was to make it to such a safe space as the Wanderers Library.
To live in a world where his Jailers were unfounded.
A Sympathetic Thorn in the Side of the Bookburners
Eurtec Resistance
Conspectus
The masses of Eurtec4 have risen up against their oppressors, the Bookburners, who would have them trampled below their lofty towers. Having been abandoned by their shepherds long ago, it has fallen upon the flock to resist; an incursion into the Bookburners' facilities was inevitable.
Having researched extensively the methods and madness of the Bookburners, we sought to break their hold on the city through the destruction of their technological vices and computational terminals. To an extent, we were successful, but heavy casualties, even with the assistance of other unbroken, have proven that even the might of the library is no match for the cruel hand of the Bookburners.
Illustration
A fraction of a fraction of the Bookburners' computational might5. Note the presence of an unidentified thaumaturgic manifold on the left, the origin of which is unknown.
Knowledge
Traits: A computational network through which the Bookburners oversee every corner of the city. Even the contents of a closed book would not be safe from their All-Seeing Eye, housed in a facility known to the uninitiated as the offices of MAGE Computing. Inside, however, defenses abound, with no shortage of thaumaturgic weaponry.
Nature: The Bookburners' hold on the city primarily derives from their control over the material city — countless eyes in the darkest corners and a chokehold on our bare essentials, be it food, water, or safety.
History & Associated Parties: Tensions have abounded in Eurtec for nearly half a century. The life of a citizen of the Blood District is one of pain and fear, contrasted greatly by the ever-increasing wealth and power of the Golden District. This strain is further imposed by the arm of the Bookburners, who persecute the anomalous and imprison all who oppose them.
Approach: We spent the greater part of a month researching the Bookburners' strengths and weaknesses, as well as employing the services of anomalous sympathizers and skilled thaumaturges, and even then, were woefully underprepared for the vast arsenal of anomalous weaponry at their supply.
Other Detail: We employed various artifacts and spells to remain undetectable to all guards and security systems when entering the facilities. However, the effects of these anomalies were negated by the All-Seeing Eye, resulting in the intervention of Bookburner strike teams. In self-defense, we were forced to engage in direct combat, leading to numerous casualties.
Fortunately, we were ultimately available to deactive the All-Seeing Eye, buying us several weeks to organize the resistance into a full-scale uprising.
Observations & Stories
Prior to the raid, we came in contact with an ex-Bookburner operative by the name of Adrian Ross. He proved to be vital as an informant, as his investigative reconnaissance skills proved crucial in developing plans for engagement.
Ross follows his own path, investigating rumors of rubedo smuggling in the lower city. He has come to us for information, and just as easily, we have offered it to him in exchange for his cooperation.
Several days after initial contact, Ross offered several classified documents to us as proof he had cut ties with the Bookburners. Of note are the following excerpts from his personal journal.
07/19/2023
Third time's the charm — here's hoping the guards won't be on watch again. Then again, I heard they'd just finished installing a new thaumaturgical security system. No clue how they were able to get their hands on something like that, but it's the least of my worries right now.
7/22/2023
Last few days have been rough on me. Worked out that Jaiden was deployed to Eurtec, swept away on some sting operation involving smuggling and revolution. They say that the Serpent's Hand have been acquiring some alchemical substance to build bombs or something.
Looks like I'll be negotiating with terrorists now.
7/23/2023
Considering their fearsome reputation, they've been surprisingly reasonable, deeming my search "noble". Of course, they still have their doubts — they need proof that I'm not yet another Coalition spy. Ended up giving them everything I had on Eurtec at a drop spot, but they only took files about the GOC's computing networks for whatever reason.
Soon enough, they'll get me in touch with the leaders of some Serpent's Hand-sympathizing rubedo gang. From there, I'll have to work out the rest on my own.
Doubt
It is worth mentioning the presence of thaumaturgical defense systems and weaponry utilized by the Bookburners. It is currently unknown how they acquired such resources, but it would suggest that they have been funded by an anonymous source.
Who this source is and what their motivations are remain unknown at the moment, but it is apparent that whoever that person or organization is, they have a vested interest in keeping the Coalition in power.
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