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- 173
- Rudy Benson Cut Material
- Grave Matters Cut Material
- dinner
- Endless Night
- 3477
- The Statue, The Original.
- Conflict in Every Arena
- antimeme-joke
- modules
If anyone was around to listen, they would hear a loud buzzing throughout the Earth. A heavy buzz hangs over the entire planet, omnipresent. There's a rush of wind everywhere, as a prisoner runs through and over the freshly blossomed flowers. The flowers are everywhere the buzzing is, and they have all been trampled into the dirt.
The caveman holds up the torch, and gazes into a face of concrete and rebar.
The torch flickers out a few seconds later, and he dies with it.
SCP-9999 has been repeatedly spotted in and around Chicago Creek since 1928. A small selection of these sightings follows below, which have been selected for their general relevance and potential to assist in future research efforts.
Chicago Police Department
| Report made by: E. Ness |
Name and offense charged: Strange, Bloody Drunk Spotted Around Bubbly Creek |
Period for which made: 10/06/33 |
Persons Interviewed and Evidence Collected:
Call made concerning a strange, disheveled figure that crawled out of Bubbly Creek riverbank. Upon arrival, discovered blood trail leading away from Bubbly Creek. Followed blood trail, found figure wearing trench coat, low moaning. Called out to figure, causing it to stand and run. Pursued figure, but figure returned to Bubbly Creek and presumably entered. Ceased from chase at this point.
Could not discover further evidence of figure; noted traces of pig bone and tissue along chase path.
CALL TRANSCRIPT
DATE: 10/06/65
CALLER: Jon Black
RECEIVER: 9/11
DISPATCH: What is your emergency?
BLACK: There's this figure outside, it's wandering the streets. I … I don't think it's human? It's not right.
DISPATCH: Not human?
NEWSPAPER
VIDEO LOG
DATE: 10/06/2012
NOTES: The following video was recovered by a civilian on a cell-phone camera at the corner Rudy wanted to steal. This is the farthest location from Bubbly Creek that SCP-9999 has been spotted.
[BEGIN LOG]
[0:01] — Video opens. SCP-9999 is visible, walking to the street corner. It is quietly vocalizing. Due to the quality of the recording, these vocalizations cannot be heard, other than the word "Extra" being repeated.
[0:05] — SCP-9999 turns to the camera. Its face is visible for a few frames before the camera shakes and any images are significantly blurred.
[0:11] — SCP-9999 grabs a scrap of paper garbage from the street, while groaning loudly.
[0:13] — SCP-9999 briefly collapses into pile of sewage and remains. The groaning does not cease or grow quieter.
[0:21] — SCP-9999 begins to reform from the pile. The groaning begins to grow more coherent, forming closer vocalizations to standard human speech.
[0:33] — SCP-9999 has completely reformed as a humanoid. It stands on the street corner and holds the piece of garbage aloft in it's right hand.
[0:39] — SCP-9999 begins to loudly and audibly vocalize, repeatedly yelling "EXTRA". Vocal analysis suggests the voice is of a young child, aged ten.
[0:44] — SCP-9999 stops vocalizing and briefly looks at its hands. SCP-9999 then resumes screaming and begins to claw at its face, tearing off large pieces of coagulated blood.
[END LOG]
Addendum 9999.2 — Chicago Spirit Civilian Media Mentions
Beginning in 1990, Chicago newspapers and media were digitized and made accessible. As a result of this process, it became possible for the Foundation to quickly search old media. In order to determine how much extant information regarding the Chicago Spirit existed, the Foundation conducted an in-depth review of such media.
In conclusion, it was determined that the Chicago Spirit was still mentioned and known in civilian media, but was not greatly associated with the anomalous. Any such mentions were believed to be civilian folklore, and the Chicago Spirit occupied a position in civilian media comparable to the Chicago Outfit.
Several mentions of Rudy Benson were discovered in the aforementioned resources, particularly in newspaper articles recounting the biography of SCP-046-ARC. It was determined that after the publication of these articles, SCP-9999 developed more humanoid body composition, and remained as such for several weeks after.
To further test this connection, a short biography of Rudy Benson was disseminated to 2,000 Level 1 staff at various sites, as part of a regular information dossier. This was done in four phases, of 100, 300, 600 and 1,000 personnel each round, each one month apart. The body composition and behavior of SCP-9999 was observed in each of these periods at regular weekly intervals. It was hypothesized that the more individuals cognizant of SCP-9999, the more humanoid and composed SCP-9999 would become. All other potential variables were controlled for.
| Period | Personnel (New/Total) | Body Shape | Behavior |
|---|---|---|---|
| First | 100/100 | Amoeboid | Sluggish |
| Second | 300/400 | Chelonian | Reserved |
| Third | 600/1,000 | Quadruped | Defensive |
| Fourth | 1,000/2,000 | Humanoid | Pained |
Fig 3.1. Table of SCP-9999 Expirement #05 Results.
Immediately after each dissemination of the file, the body composition of SCP-9999 and behavior would quickly become changed but return to previous levels in the weeks following the initial distribution. Body shape and behavior were each significantly altered following each consecutive dissemination.
Beginning in the first period, there was little observable change in SCP-9999 other than a general increase in rigidity and activity. SCP-9999, which had previously been general amorphous with little coherency, became similarly amorphous and structurally sound and began to move more frequently. All these changes were absent by the beginning of the second period.
During the second period, SCP-9999 developed six limbs and a head structure. It began to move with these features and was able to observe its surroundings. It typically retreated to the more concealed and interiors concealed areas of its habitat and was frequently observed emitting a low pitched whine.
In the third period, SCP-9999 consolidated mass and developed a more dense deposition. Its legs comparatively longer, and it carried itself higher from the ground. During this period, it was more aggressive towards any observation staff, often making pronounced moaning sounds when they entered, or approaching and attempting to physically engage.
The effects of the final period were observable for two months following. During the final period, SCP-9999 was mostly humanoid, with upright stature, four limbs and a human-like face. It was able to fully vocalize and perform generally interpretable body language. An interview with SCP-9999 was attempted during this period, but all attempts were unsuccessful, as SCP-9999 would not stop screaming.
It was concluded that human knowledge SCP-9999 had a direct influence on both the body composition and behavior of SCP-9999, and was likely directly affected by number of individuals who actively remember SCP-9999. Any further conclusions could not be determined.

Cassandra and Kole didn't speak until they were already on the highway, headed back to Site-18. They had sent the Knass family to "a friend's house" an hour's drive away (which in reality, was a Foundation owned and operated safe-house, typically used for agents in the field), and were heading to get supplies.
Official Foundation policy was that they weren't to discuss sensitive information too close to the location of the subject, out of fear of conversation falling on the otherworldly ears. Cassandra had always thought the distance was a bit extreme but complied anyway. It was better to have a moment to think.
"I think they're being affected by a post-mortem entity."
"Absolutely. There's an anomaly present, and it's not any of the usual false positives. All the details add up."
"Think we need to bring in any backup?"
"No, we'll be able to handle this one ourselves. Doesn't look like anything special to me."
"Do you think it's the old owner?"
"No, there's something odd about that. All of the signs seem to indicate that there are multiple entities present, not just one. Lots of things that had to be done by a crowd."
"So perhaps the entities affected the previous owner, and killed him? Something like the Amberson case?"
"That's a throwback, isn't it? Back before we were the Graves. But the intensity of these events seems … strong. I'm not sure if the previous owner would've just ignored it."
"Right. It seems recent, but the apparent recent cause doesn't line up with the phenomena observed. What do you make of the dirt?"
"Typically associated with burials, right? So we could have something in that patch in the yard."
"We should see if we can find any more information about the old owners, both the most recent and any before then. Might something else to explain it."
The rest of the drive was spent mulling over every last detail of the case, picking apart all of the facts from the interview. The conclusions didn't change much from their initial conclusions, although the pair began to grow more uneasy at the question of the source. The previous homeowner was beginning to seem more of a victim than a perpetrator.
After the long drive, the car pulled up to Site-18. Similar to many other Foundation Sites, it was located in a disguised building, not too far from civilization. From the outside, it looked like any other faceless office park, but it stretched far below the ground, filled with containment chambers, staff housing, and research laboratories.
The first stop was a visit to requisition materials for the return visit: a combination of occult materials and scientific equipment. Some of it was real, but most was merely to assuage the fears and belief of the Knass family. It wouldn't make sense for the expert exorcists to be lacking in equipment. Keeping up appearances as what the public expected was crucial for the Graves.
The next important step was to research all the property records. For any civilian investigator or amateur hack of a paranormal junkie, this would be a somewhat long and complicated process. But the Graves had the full force of the Foundation at their backs, and the records were in their email inbox within an hour of making their request.
According to record, the previous owner of the house was one Roger Shaw, who had owned the house for just about twenty years. During that time, he was the sole occupant, despite the house having three bedrooms. But as Lila read the name, it began to faintly feel familiar. It had come up before, somehow, but she couldn't place it. Puzzled, she turned to other databases for one "Roger Shaw".
Meanwhile, Kole was in the lab, having just requested a fast-tracked analysis of the soil recovered from the Knass homestead. He didn't need much information — just a quick word on the absence or presence of any ectoplasm would be enough for his purposes. A full result would be helpful, but all he wanted to know was the presence of any ethereal entities.
As he waited, one of the lab techs came next to him.
"You're one of those ghost hunters, right? I thought the Foundation didn't deal with nutjobs, like you."
Kole glared at the technician. It was a sentiment that he had encountered many times during his career as an agent: that his position, dressed in turn of the century occultism, had no place in the rigorous and clearly defined, scientific machine that was the Foundation. But that occultism was behind his true methods of operation and was nothing more than dress.
"Everything you know about us is a front for Masquerade Protocol. Why else would I be in a lab?"
The technician looked at the centrifuges, reading the samples and frowned. A brief glance towards Kole, and then he sulked away. The results came out soon: an extremely high and confirmed presence of ectoplasmic materials in the soil. There were ghosts under that patch of dirt.

The Graves arrived at the Knass farm the next morning, with Elizabeth coming in a second car minutes later. Normally, the Graves preferred it when the homeowners would stay at the safehouse, but Elizabeth had insisted she be there. There wasn't really a way to say no to such a demand - it was relevant to the homeowner, after all.
As Elizabeth stepped out her car, it was clear she was confused. There was good reason for it: the Graves seemed like they were prepared for a day of labor, rather than the more formal seance she had been expecting. That was one of the things they had promised the day before, after all.
"What's with the shovel? I thought you were going to be having a seance?"
"We were, but then we did a bit of property research and we have a theory about the circumstances of your haunting. Come on, we're going to the backyard, to the dead spot in the yard."
"Don't these things normally take a while? Days, weeks? You always do more in the stories I've read and seen of you."
"Look, we're the best ghost hunters in the world, no exceptions. The short stories where we go in and solve the ghost issue in hours don't make for good television, but that's our norm."
"In that case, what's the theory?"
"Well, for starters, we don't think you're being haunted by the ghost of the old owner. There's a lot of stuff that doesn't add up with that, from what you've described."
The trio reached the backyard. Kole stabbed the ground with the shovel and began to dig, continuing to talk with the homeowner. He dug fast, trying to get deep.
"You see, everything indicates that you are being haunted by multiple entities, not just one. Maybe the old homeowner is one, but there has to be more. It can't just be the man who lived here before you."
Elizabeth pulled her coat closer around her. She hadn't noticed had cold it was outside yet. Was it getting colder? She was freezing. Neither of the Graves seemed to really notice or care.
"Really? Then what do you think it is?"
Lila's looked to the ground and sighed. "Well, we're not certain about that. We have a theory, but…" She looked back up at Elizabeth. "What do you know about the previous homeowner?"
"Just that he died, really. Unexpectedly. Do you think he was killed by the ghost? Er, ghosts?"
"Undoubtedly." Kole laughed. The hole was getting deeper, at least a solid foot into the ground now. It wasn't very wide, but that didn't seem to be his goal.
"The old owner of this house was involved in two different missing person cases. One of them went to trial, he was the defendant. They didn't find him guilty in that case, not enough evidence. The other case didn't go anywhere, but he was a major witness. Those were about, five or so years ago? Big event in the community, was in the news for a cycle."
"Oh. That's, uh, pretty horrifying. So you think—"
Kole abruptly leaned down, and looked at the whole, before stepping back, looking up to his wife. "I just found bone - looks human too"
"We think that he killed those girls that went missing. He got away with it. But he really got away with all the other ones he killed over the years. The girls he killed and threw into a pit."
"Oh my god."
"They're angry, of course. But one person, they only have so much force, so much willpower. That's why ghosts aren't very common: only a few have the ability to actually enact change in the world. But if you put enough dead bodies together, all who want something similar, then you can start to see change. They want revenge, but they're not together enough to realize they already have it."
"So what do you do know?"
"Well, the first thing we do is contact the cops. Since there's a good chance that some of these murders went across state lines, we'll have to contact the FBI. Luckily for you, we have a contact there who knows us from a couple old cases."
"We'll get the FBI to come over and investigate the scene in full. It might take a little while for them to check out the whole property and look for evidence, but once they do they should let you back into your house. By then, the post-mortem vectors will have been removed - and those are the focal point of the spectral phenomena you are experiencing, the haunting should clear up."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
The next few hours went according to protocol for the Graves. They made called the authorities, gave their report, watched as excavation of the mass grave began, and said their good-byes to the Knass family. It was all rather, simple, but that was the idea of their position: to resolve spectral phenomena without needing high-profile containment.
There was nothing special about an ordinary ghost, after all.
From: Site Director Kennsington <jkennsington@foundation.scp>
To: several people
Subject: July 2018 Site-17 Protocol Bacchus
Date: July 6th, 2018
To all,
You have been selected for this month's enactment of Protocol Bacchus - the containment methodology of SCP-3377 - at Site-17. You may have performed Protocol Bacchus at Site-17 before, you may have performed it at other sites, or you may have never performed it before: anyone is equally capable of executing the protocol. (For those of you that have never performed it before, let me assure you that it is a zero-danger protocol, and this is in no way punitive — this isn't Keter duty!)
For those of you familiar with Protocol Bacchus from another Site, a brief note: Site-17 has been selected as a testing ground for a slightly modified version of the procedure, with multiple individuals rather than two. This appears to be a more efficient version, and will likely be introduced to other Sites after the formal review.
For those of you that do not possess the proper clearance for SCP-3377, the following are the salient points of Protocol Bacchus:
Protocol Bacchus:
Selected personnel are to enter the Site-17 Wine Cellar and remove one bottle of wine. They are then to go to the Site-17 Administrative Dining Room and eat the prepared dinner, consisting at least partially of a rare steak in a Bearnaise sauce and a freshly-fried potato. They are to share the wine, and have a conversation over the dinner.Please be at the Site-17 Administrative Complex Lobby at 7:00 PM, July 13th. Formal dress is not required, but appreciated. Attendance is mandatory.
Thank you,
Site-Director Kennsington
Extranormal Event #: EE-091
Event Description:A Class 2 Time Dilation effect occurred, in which internal observers reported a period of time lasting for several weeks, which externally lasted for one second.
Additionally, all individuals within the area at the time were subjected to a memetic affect preventing them from intentionally harming or attacking other individuals within the area.
Date of Event: November 6th, 1918
Location: battlefield
Follow-Up Events: All soldiers present were administered Class B amnestics and returned to military service. Their journals and records from the event have been confiscated, and a full log of the events is available as Document EE-091.
Document EE-091
UPDATE - JUNE 1928
happy ending
A creatured who was half-shark and half-man crawled out of the ocean on Australia. He had a mission, given to him by High Emperor Kavulak II himself - to rally his political allies and lead military operations against the usurpers of the world's greatest dolphin empire. He had been selected for this purpose by their top brass, modified for his mission, and then returned to the surface.
It was vital that he not fail in this mission, for too the Empire had invested far too much time in this action for them to ever look back. This man would find his allies, direct the military, and the Great Barrier Reef would be the Empire's once more, as destined.
The man had absolutely no intention of ever doing that. He had just got his immortality, and he was most definetly not spending it as the thralls of several fascist, rhetorical, and downright mad dolphins. But why not at least seeing about trying to contact his allies?
Soaking wet, he stepped into a phone booth. As soon as he dialed in and identified himself, the call began to be monitored by Foundation personnel, as a result of standard operation procedure concerning entities to claim well-known deceased individuals.
They took over the call not long after they began listening.
Agent Holmwood burst through of the door of the underground and swore. The vampires had dug out a pit on the basement of the warehouse, snaking into the ground. The other members of Gamma-7 ("Von Helsings") came in after him, guns up until they saw the whole. They swore too.
The second best vampire hunters in world1 descended into their favorite arena. Vampires quickly lunged out of their holes, but they were quicker - the slow died.
Vampires hissed and roared, and their cries were drowned out by the steel klaxons of the finest machine guns in the world.2 Dozens charged, and a hail of bullets answered them.
Then Holmwood whipped around a corner to seen an oddly docile vampire. He paused for a second before shooting, and then the face of the zombie rang a bell in his mind. A very specific bell.
"Are you-"
"I am Harold Holt, former Australian Prime Minister." [[footnote]]The former president of Australia, who disappeared during his term
"What the fuck?"
"Oh, you mean my immortality? Why, of course. I turned myself into a vampire. As long as this drink blood, I will continue to live."
"Why?"
"Well, I had always wanted to live forever, you see. Ever since I was a child. But I knew that could never be the case. Then, I get elected Prime Minister and then your-"
"Oh forget it. Don't shoot this one," he screamed to all of comrades.
Many, many, many years from now
It is angry.
The world is empty, and is nobody left who can observe it's beauty. It is without audience, without anyone to behold it. There is
2087
Containment has been automated by now, it has been for some years. A high-powered sprinkler system was all it took to consistently clean the statue and the cell. The system has worked well for some time now.
BANG
A breach is not anticipated, not for years.
BANG
The noises it makes have changed. No more grinding. Just a constant, eternal banging.
BANG
can't it shut up?
2008
Three men in orange suits filed into the room, holding buckets and mops. The floor was covered in blood and shit, and together the stench was sickening. The mixture had built up onto the walls, covering the entire floor. Their boots squelched as they walked.
The mops hit the floor and began to clean. One of the men watched it at all times, shouting whenever he needed to blink.
This was not the first time they had performed the procedure, nor would it be the last.
2004
A comparatively minor Japanese artist has finished his latest work. It is part of a series, but it will go untitled, only referred to with the year of creation. It is an ugly thing, with great green eyes and a splotchy red face. It cannot support itself on, and is forced to lean against the wall at all times.
Normally, the Foundation would not be concerned with such
1993
moved to Site-19
1918
something
1824
However, the documents I have before me present a rather different picture. It appears that the Foundation was not founded in response to SCP-001 at all. Indeed, I cannot find any references to the present SCP-001 prior to 1826. It appears to have been a highly publicised attack by SCP-173 in New York which was the initial impetus for the Foundation's formation. SCP-173's still-unresolved containment breach in 1854 is, I believe, the reason for the alteration of the record; Scranton's embarrassment at
1504
Venice
476
Odoacer sacks Rome, 173 gets loose
- the barbarians break in, get to the panoply of the Praetorian guard
- 173 is there
400 BCE
Socratic Containment Procedures
2800 BCE
Mesopotamia
- the cave scene
10,000 BCE
Gobleki Tepe
a long, long time before that
To call him a man would be inaccurate, for this is long before the dawn of anything that we associate with humanity today. The city is thousands of years from even existing, and he is not even of the same species as the modern man. He is not an ancestor, either - he has no children, and today won't go well for him, to say the least.
He is walking through the
hy-brasil sure is nice, ain't it? lot's of stuff going on
lots of people, different things going on, Site-03 is busy
all sorts of stuff going on
too bad about the looming godzilla attack
"D-952 and D-7294! You're our best D-Class musicians, so you get the honor of playing an ancient Tuatha De Danaan song! Tyrone, why are you here?"
the Foundation doctors (Lloyd, Finnegan, Sinclair, Ruslav) are doing something of note
talking about magic or something idk probably that i think most of these people are magicians or anomalous
humanoid containment transfer (Plague Doctor, Alexei, Armando, Shock, Stacey Lee, Heather Mason, poky, leslie, buddy)
Alexei broods because nobody can understand him but then it turns out everyone can for different reasons (except human stacey lee and 049)
wow there are a lot of cyborgs here
cockroach god vs squirrel god vs rock god
squirrels can eat the cockroaches but that is just letting the enemy into your base
dado establishes his newest establishment: barber and tattoo by dado
classy carlos calls him names, insults business model, lack of punctuation, poor grammar similarity of all scps involving him
really a lot to work with here dado has many problems
maybe the rubber ducks show up and try to extort dado or something
agent johnson, tomas rey and maddison craggs are hunting for something …. unethically (who would have guessed it's so unlike them)
the pataphysical torment corner — Don Quixote, the HERO, Researcher Smalls, ████ ████████, the living joke
argue about heroism or something
realize that because a story is being written about them they now exist, show up in Hy-Brasil because that's where the story is set
Wilson's Wildlife has been commissioned by King Nuada Argeitlam to build a zoo. they bring wobbles, maya, and ringo along
is this outside of their jurisdiction? yes but the tale needs to fucking work okay
Sheldon Katz is negotiating a treaty
probably with the nephew i can't remember the name of even though I named that character
boring legal jargon and such
the gunhead anomalocaris has escaped from the Foundation
he sees the biggest goddamn trilobite ever
turns out the crocosquid has some trilobite in it, because why the fuck not
silly gunhead anomalocaris, you can't kill the crocosquid with your face gun!
crocosquid eats the gunhead anomalocaris
[[span style="font-size: 3em; text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"]]
THE MOTHERFUCKING CROCOSQUID ATTACKS
GODZILLA TIME
[[/div]]
Sheldon Katz is enveloped in flame
so much for negotiations
Wilson's wildlife is crushed under a tentacle
catfish 2 electric fuckwilsonsaloo
the pataphysical torment corner is barely existing and then the crocosquid makes them not at all existing
the MOON CHAMPION falls out of the sky to fight the MOON MONSTERS!
he falls directly into the mouth of the crocosquid oops
agent johnson and tomas rey passionately embrace before they die
dado becomes deado
the roach god and the squirrel god and the rock god are killed by the five god
math over matter
humanoid containment is breached, they decided to band together and run
they fail
rocks fall everyone dies
the doctors are all killed in the Site-03 breach
lloyd survives, tries to run, slips and breaks his skull, dies anyway
the D-Class also die
by this point i have given up entirely
i'll be honest i have no idea who travis kazmarek, clair wythers, nathan snyder or the other nathan are and i'm not reading those tales for a shitpost
let's just assume they have reasons for being in hy-brasil
and they die
do something for an epilogue idk
realize the skeleton of this tale will be better than the actual tale
Item #:
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-AJ is a short statement universally found to be both incredibly humorous and inappropriate. SCP-AJ sharply inhibits the ability of an individual to relay itself, preventing transfer. Subjects frequently will describe this reason for being too inappropriate to repeat aloud or in any context, but will rarely tell SCP-AJ at random intervals. To date, no member of the Antimemetics Department has been told SCP-AJ, despite repeated attempts at begging.
test log:
- infected O5 member "oh, you're too young! you need to be older" (grandmotherlike)
- CCD gives cold shoulder, acts as if they don't exist
- WWS has heard it but has a crush on the Foundation that makes it awkward to tell it, too risque
- literally just a personification of WWS. They go to a humanoid WWS
- …
- one guy tries to tell them but keeps giggling and then just fucking dies
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