tagwolf
  • A pen that won't let whoever is holding it write any vowels and half the article is written as such.
  • A pair of socks you can't take off until they get stinky.
  • A flashlight that shines darkness instead of light and it's pretty spooky even in the daytime.
  • A peanut butter and jelly sandwich that can talk but only refers to itself in the third person.
  • A yearbook album that when signed, makes you look like a random student in it regardless of your age or appearance.
  • A t-shirt that you can't take off until it gets all stinky and gross. But then you wash it and it's clean for the next person.
  • An elevator than when entered takes you one-way to a random floor in another building anywhere on earth provided that building has the same model elevator.
  • A straw that converts any liquid drunk through it into pee.
  • A jump rope that when used ties a rope around your neck and makes you jump until you can't stand anymore and you hang yourself.
  • One of those Japanese cat clocks that every night at 3:14 causes the closest complex living organism (animal or plant) to it to die.
  • A German Shepherd Dog that bites people. Maybe the bite always causes an infection?
  • A smoke detector that is always giving a low battery warning even when all known sources of power are removed. Also, it has a self-defense mechanism that unless you have a direct line of sight to it you can't tell where the sound is coming from and it tries to lead you away.
  • A gun that shoots a projectile that passes through all known forms of matter without losing any velocity.
  • A toilet that when sat on causes you to feel urgency to go #2 but you are unable to poop until you get off of it and then 30 seconds later you have to shit yourself. Getting back on the toilet before this just repeats/resets the timeframe.
  • A tree that uses carbon dioxide around it at a rate of 30,000,000,000x causing category 3 winds however it accounts for 1% of the earth's oxygen production.
  • A sleeping pill from an unknown source that puts you in a coma for several months.
  • A shark that turns into a cat every few days until the cat drowns and then it turns back into a shark.
  • A set of 2 wooden boxes that when closed transport whatever item was inside of it to the other one instantly regardless of distance.
  • A Swiffer sweeper that is capable of flight and also can sweep up spills and mop, etc.
  • A song that makes it's listeners vomit, more sensitive listeners shit themselves.
  • A laser pointer that gives anyone it is pointed at an orgasm.
  • An old Coke-a-Cola bottle that has a ghost inside it and makes the bottle go all crazy if it isn't kept cold.
  • A jungle that is full of animals but the animals are smart and talk and live in a society and stuff.
  • A guitar that plays you.
  • A song that when you hear it gets stuck in your head forever and you dance and sing until you die.
  • A chunk of crystal that grows by 1 foot each year but is very fragile, breaking it in two causes both halves to grow at 1 foot per year, so you better not break it too much or it'll grow all over the place.
  • A magnet that attracts all matter and energy and makes people around it very tired.
  • A rechargeable battery that is always dead even if you try to charge it.
  • A sentient GPS unit from the future.
  • A creature that has like, babies for limbs or something and they are always crying. Also, it eats people.
  • A pizza box that provides infinite pizzas but they are all Hawaiian.
  • A tv show but all the characters are the viewer.
  • A towel that is always wet.