Per 
Dr.Crow SCP-001 File
Item Number: 001
Object Class: ERROR [CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR]
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is to be kept in a closet in a country house in [REDACTED]. The Closet is to be kept shut 23 hours of the day, and is only to be opened from 9:26 PM to 10:26 PM. ERROR [CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR].
Do not regard any of the above as fact.
Item Number: 001
Object Class: ERROR [CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR]
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 Is to be Kept at the bottom of the [REDACTED], so it can't reach the surface. It must always be in ERROR [CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR] a closet that is to remain open at all times. The Address is. WARNING [POSSIBLE MEMETIC VIRUS IN COMPUTER, PLEASE PUT FACILITY ON FULL ALARM]
Description: SCP-001 Is a perfectly normal guy that is hiding in a closet waiting for you to open it.
[COMPUTER IS INFECTED, PLEASE DISPOSE OF ALL COMPUTERS IN THE FACILITY]
Item Number: 001
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: ERROR [CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR]
Description: SCP-001-2 is the most dangerous Memetic hazard known to man. It is a computer virus that if seen will persuade the reader to open a Random closet. if that closet were to ever open, SCP-001-1 would get out and free the actual SCP-001. Which is located at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. If you get the virus, you should destroy all ERROR [CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR]
Just open the closet, please.
