Exploration Journal XXXX-9346-1
Persons involved: D-53942
February 24, 1986
I was sent in here alone. Foundation said I had to keep a log of everything I did and anything important that happened. Said it was because they needed to keep a log of everything that happened, no clue why it had to be me though. I know a lot of more qualified people for the job. They said nothing really happens around here and it's basically the same as a normal mental asylum, but that doesn't really put me at ease. I had to do a project on one when I was in high school. Don't really remember what grade. This is my second journal because my first one got confiscated by one of the monkeys running this place. They said I'm not allowed to keep a log but They punish me a lot less than the foundation will so imma just keep writing. Plus, I'm normal so they'll probably just ignore me. Writing also helps put me at ease. There aren't that many people here. Most of them are friendly but a few of them are jerks. The friendly ones say that the jerky ones used to be friendly. I'm still kinda new to the foundation and I dunno if I'll become an asshat like them but I'm pretty sure I won't. Foundation dude whose name I forgot said they'd get me out. I don't really know if that's possible though because every other escapee was killed by the apes. I hope I can get out. I really don't want to go crazy like the rest of them. I don't really have anything else to say about this place as I've only been here for a day so I guess I'll put it up for the day.
February 25, 1986
There was a small escape attempt before I woke up today. The apes at the front literally ripped them in half. Don't think I'm gonna try escaping anytime soon. I don't know why they even try escaping. There are so many apes that just make sure you don't have anything on you that escape is fruitless. Maybe they wanted to die; maybe they've had enough of this place and have given up. I don't know if I will, but I sure hope not. As of now, I don't really have much of a chance of escaping but I might try organizing people during one of the group sessions when they leave us alone for a few minutes. I managed to convince them that this journal was a book and that that this is helping me recover from my mental illness. I thi
I forgot what I was saying there. Ashley, one of the few people who actually knows what's going on was dragged off to the dangerous wing. She's going to be constantly bound in there, whatever fucked up thing the staff are thinking will help her will only make her condition worse. Most of the people in here seem perfectly sane to me, this place makes them insane, which they then use as reason to operate on them. It's just a fucked up positive feedback loop. If I do ever get out of this place I am going to try to stop the cycle and prevent people from getting in. I dunno how I'm going to do that as my stay at the foundation is probably going to get me killed, considering they knew how fucked up this place was.
I keep on getting off topic, and to whatever scientist is going over this I am sorry for making your job harder. They are treating those of us outside of lockdown pretty well, considering we're in an insane asylum and they annihilate anyone who tries to escape. Next page I'll have my current schedule. That might be useful to scientists at the foundation.
7:30 AM: 0730: wake up, get ready
0745: breakfast (usually consisting of watery oatmeal)
0800: group therapy
10000: one on one therepy
1200: lunch, usually by ourselves
1230: free time
1300: chosen activity (you get more one on one if you don't choose)(I'm pretty sure the one on one is more like in lockdown, plus they get sent to lockdown pretty quickly)(I got a sport named "Jockey," I'll try to explain it later; I have all the time in the world. Hopefully.)
1630: supper, usually in the grand hall. Everyone, excluding those in lockdown, is there, or they get punished.
1730: __free time. I usually spend it writing in this, and I write a little after I get ready and before group therapy.
2000:__ getting ready for sleep time. Don't ask me why it's so early. After I get ready I do the only thing I really get to do in here. This journal really makes this place a lot more bearable, just the knowledge that what I do might actually be useful someday.
2130: sleep time. If you aren't in bed you get taken. I don't know what happens to those who are taken.
February 26, 1986
I was just woken up by someone screaming, they didn't stop and my eyes adjusted to the dark so I decided to keep writing. It sounded like the screams came from lockdown. Can't really say I'm surprised. Guess I'll just have to try to sleep through it in the future. I can say I'm kinda surprised they don't have muzzles over there or some thing to stop the screaming. Seems like something they'd have. I'm already getting tired so ima head off to sleep. It is a lot more comfortable than I originally thought here.
this morning, someone saw this and noticed I was writing in it. A few questions later it was obvious they weren't letting up so I mentioned the foundation, but told them that they couldn't tell anyone. So of course the first thing they did was tell everyone. Guess I'll never make that mistake again. I had hid this book, and they already didn't like him so they believed me. They dragged him screaming into lockdown after that. I feel kinda bad for him, but I'm just glad it wasn't me who was sent back there. I can almost guarantee that would be the end of this journal. It would also probably be the end of me. For that reason, I didn't really write anything down as it happened and I kinda have a shit memory so some of the stuff here may be wrong. A few more people were dragged off to lockdown today, and rather than the usual one or two we got around 10 today. These people know nothing but how to pick favorites. I'm kinda glad that I am one of the favorites but I can't help but feel sorry for the others.
February 27, 1986
We got a shitload of people again this morning. Last night we got a bunch of people as well. I don't know why we are getting so many people but the staff's reactions are hinting that this is unusual for this place. Oh and they are supposed to be called staff, otherwise they go absolutely ape shit. Some of them have been openly fighting the staff. Others have just been ignored. The only thing that is clear is that there are clearly not enough staff per person.
I don't know why it took me this long but maybe the other people are other d class. What put me off is that some of these people are actually kinda insane. I have a lot more time to write today as a lot of the staff are in a massive meeting. We have just one or 2 watching us and they are basically just trying to prevent escapes. Unlimited freedom. I'm kinda getting used to this, so I actually hope this messed up world gets turned upside down. I don't know if me getting used to it is a sign of insanity. Is it? Nah probably not.
Oh shit the meeting just ended and for the first time a bunch of staff are leaving the building. I think they were fired. Oh and I've been dreaming the same thing every night. I don't remember what it is, all that I know is that it's the same night after night. The staff who are left are cracking down on the rest of us who haven't ran away during the meeting. It's safe to say everything's gotten a lot shittier. Basically nothing is permitted and its just a living hell. I hope it gets better here soon. I'm being called now I dunno how our schedule will be today.
February 27, 1986
I had another sleepless night last night. More screaming. It was a lot more than one person though. The remaining staff had a patient meeting today. The lockdown people got to attend. All bound and wheeled on a dolly. I saw Ashley during the meeting. Her head was limp and a massive cut went across her forehead. Definitely a lobotomy. They went over our new schedules and how things were going to go. My schedule is roughly the same. Lockdown is basically still the stereotypical insane asylum. I don't know why they did this. It didn't really get anything done. A bunch of people arrived this morning. I dunno why everything is still picking up. I've heard discussions about not letting newcomers in. I also heard some rumors from the other people but they aren't really reliable.
One of the staff saw me writing today. When he asked what I was doing, I just said I liked writing and it helped me keep my stress down. Not only did he like my response, he even mentioned it during the group session. We had some outside visitors today. I don't know how, as I'm pretty sure this place literally has no access to the outside world, but it's magic or some shit like that. They weren't shown lockdown and no one mentioned it. We didn't want the punishment. I'm honestly getting used to listening to a bunch of English speaking gorillas. I adapted much faster than I thought I would. Anyways, back to the visitors. They seemed to be some kind of inspector. They saw the satisfactoriness of the normal wing and left, even complementing the head dude for how humane and progressive this place is. Sickening.
The days go by so slowly. Dr someone said that was a byproduct of being in here. That's probably the worst thing about being in here. Having this much free time and no freedom is driving me insane. I am not insane I am not insane I am not insane. That was just a saying. Don't tell the staff I said that. They wont like me as much.
February 27, 1986
Another day, some other way. Those are the lyrics to a song I once heard and that describes this place perfectly. For having a schedule, this place is really unpredictable. People keep flooding in. A lot of them are being sent straight to lockdown. I feel especially sorry for those people. Some of them are just slightly different and are going to have their lives ruined for that. I finally checked out the library today. A lot of the books in there appear to be greek, or another language that also uses the same lettering system. There are a few boring looking English ones. One I checked out was titled Αστρονομική Πραγματεία, thought it was just a cool font at first. Kinda stupid mistake a few scientists are gonna laugh at. If I ever make it out. I've spent a lot less time writing and a lot more time doing the normal activities, which feels off as this is the only thing keeping me sane.
I'm feeling really tired now. Screaming is nightly and it keeps us all up. Or at least most of us. Some lucky people can sleep through it. I am clearly not one of those people. Today, the same staff who asked me about this earlier asked if this is helping me out. They seemed to genuinely care. I doubt that they actually did, but I said it was helping me out. don't want the one thing keeping me occupied taken away.
There has been some talk of a mass escape. don't know how well that would go. Staff seem to be getting some kind of their bearings back. The head due is always cooped up in his office. One of the staff said he was keeping a log kinda like me. Maybe we're both going insane and none of us know it. Hell if I know. Most of them know me as "journal dude". That's legit what they call me. I think it has a positive connotation to it but I really don't know anymore about this place. I'm pretty sure they don't know what's in here. If so they'd probably send me to lockdown. I'm kinda glad everything is going back to normal. I thought there might be a schedule change or something. Change would make this place a lot worse.
February 28, 1986
I've been feeling a lot of rage because of this place. the doctor whose name I forgot said they chose Me because I was one of the most calm d class they had. I don't really know if that's a compliment considering most of us are violent criminals but hey I'll take what I can get. I think the main reason I'm having so much rage is because they keep me locked up all day. not literally but we can't leave. back at the foundation I thought that was going to drive Me insane but I had stuff to do there. whether it was cleaning shit and blood off of a floor or being tested on at least they kept Me occupied. now I just spend all day sitting around doing nothing but writing which I guess is something but it isn't much.
most of the other newcomers who arrived at the start have already started getting pissed off at the staff. one of the other people said the staff think keeping us tired makes us better faster and that's why they let the screaming go on. I actually kinda believe that. it makes sense as to what they've been doing so far. I want to get out for different reasons than the rest. most of the other d class I know want to see their families and stuff. I really don't care about seeing Mine. they are all subhuman garbage. the main reason I robbed that bank was just to go to prison to get away from them. I guess I achieved that a little bit too much. I tried getting a life sentence. got a little more than that. this place is starting to seem comforting again. I dunno why. I hated it earlier today.
I see the freedom in my sight. either I'm going to Die soon or I'm going to get out. I had plenty of opportunity earlier. guess I was too transfixed on this journal. might be the biggest mistake of My life.
March 1, 1986
I literally got no sleep last night. No sleep. None at all. Not a single second. Not even because of screaming. I just couldn't sleep. Nothing is happening anymore around here. I just want it all to end. It feels like a sick dream but it isn't. I mean I hope it is but the fact that you're reading this kinda disproves that. I hope this manages to get out of here even if I don't. That way what I did actually had meaning. Dammit even during the day there's still screaming now. Nonstop. I'm getting used to it but it's just way too much. The staff's kindness towards me has turned basically everyone who doesn't hate the staff away from me. There are a few people who have managed to stay here years in normality. I don't really know what this place is called. Lockdown is just my nickname for it. What should I call this? I think normal sounds good. Ashley said she was one of the people who made it the longest in normal. Most people make it about a month. Or less.
Alone is what I'd describe this place as now. This place is a battlefield, although it's between this place and my brain. This place is starting to win. I don't really have anything new that's happening. We're still just going through this phony psychology. That's all we're doing. That's all we've ever done. Just sit around doing fake psychology. And a week from now, that's what we're going to be doing. Unless I made it out, got killed, or was sent to lockdown.
March 2, 1986
There were a lot less people that came in this morning. I don't know why. I am curious however if the head staff know what's going on. I'm kinda thinking along the lines that we're all dumbfounded but maybe this is all a ploy by the staff. Maybe they just reduced prices or something. What were the prices originally? I saw a poster mentioning it. There seemed to be a lot of propaganda for this place when we first drove in.
We're being forced to have lunch together now. If you want to eat alone you don't really have a choice. I guess to many people escaped while the staff were eating so they just made it worse for everyone else. They've cut down on the music recently too. I haven't really noticed it but there was always faint Beethoven, Mozart, or Van Gogh in the background. I don't really know who made what I'm just naming off famous musicians.
I don't know why they cut it off. Unless it was live it wouldn't really eat up the staff. Even if it was maybe 1 or 2 to make sure the audio went well. It also played all night without break so I'm pretty sure it's prerecorded.
A few of the other patients just started a riot, giving me time to write. That's all I really look forward to anymore. Writing that is. James, the patient beside me said that they were just wasting their efforts. As soon as the flood of people stops coming, mutiny will sweep across the Sanitarium, or at least that's what he said. The mirror will stare back hard at them. We will do what they did to those in lockdown. James said that he wasn't afraid to kill. Apparently, he was one of the few who was let out of lockdown before having his brain shredded. I myself won't, whether they are human or not, I don't feel comfortable taking someone's life. I'm not a vegan or anything like that; I'd kill for a good medium rare steak ironic considering my last statement. Just a figure of speech.
I hope it goes well. James, I kinda like him. I won't be heartbroken if they get stuck in here and I know a lot of people will likely die. I am going to try escaping when they do. I just won't kill anyone. I also know that if I don't try most of the people here who got caught failing will hate me. The one person who didn't even try. Might think I'm with them. All I have for today. I'm going to try and get some sleep tonight; tomorrow will be eventful.
March 2, 1986
Today's the day. After lunch, I'm either out or bad shit's gonna happen. Preferable the I'm out scenario. I don't know how the foundation will react to me getting out. This is probably going to be the last day of the journal, and I don't really have anything to add.
It should be any minute now. We're all getting out. Or at least trying to. I'm just going to keep writing until it happens. Really
It's started gonna run
They've locked down the exit. Anyone who does anything gets beaten by the staff at the door. I've decided to hide in a closet. All I can hear is screaming outside. Surprisingly, some of the patients actually helped out the staff in beating the escapees. Others just watched silently. Based on the yelling I heard those who survived go to lockdown. A bunch of the staff were killed by James. He was eventually taken down but he had a makeshift shiv that someone else used. James really didn't care about escaping. He just tried to distract the staff and he did a pretty damn good job at that.
March 3, 1986
The following was recorded by the staff at The Sanitarium. We graciously allowed the individual who calls themselves 53942, who was later renamed to "Samuel," to have a member of the staff record his journal while Samuel spoke what he wanted written after his treason.