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ITEM #: SCP-XXXX
LEVEL-
CONTAINMENT CLASS: THAUMIEL
DISRUPTION CLASS: DARK
Assigned Site
Site-28
Site Director
Prof. Samantha Walters
Research Head
Paskal Moore
Assigned MTF
Pi-5
ITEM: SCP-XXXX
LEVEL-
CONTAINMENT
CLASS: THAUMIEL
DISRUPTION
CLASS: DARK
Assigned Site
Site-28
Site Director
Prof. Samantha Walters
Research Head
Paskal Moore
Assigned MTF
Pi-5
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a small office replicating its previous office in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Any researcher providing evidence, information, food, or other requested items to it must be trained to do so and have extensive knowledge of 1950s Northeast culture. SCP-XXXX can not be given any information pertaining to the foundation itself or anything anomalous to an obvious extent. If not given any work for extended periods it is to be given fake projects to keep it occupied. It is currently housed on the 7th floor of Site-28.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an average human male in his early 30s of Caucasian descent who claims to be the world's greatest spy. The first sighting of SCP-XXXX occurred on 1953/04/13 and have continued into the present. It appears only to understand technology from the 1950s and ignores most modern technology. It is of average intelligence, but in its time active as an independent spy, it has caught over 1,500 criminals of varying offenses. This is caused by its passive ability to manipulate luck. When it starts investigating something everything pertaining to what it is investigating almost always goes in its favor. The tools it carries include a screwdriver, a flashlight, a small wrench, a silenced pistol, a tape recorder, and many disguised weapons. SCP-XXXX is currently being used by the foundation for detective work. This work includes identifying and locating people of interest, investigating GOIs, planning MTF stealth missions, etc.
SCP-XXXX's Foundation files: SCP-XXXX discovered the foundation on 2023/08/25. The following are files SCP-XXXX wrote pertaining to the Foundation and what it perceives its intentions to be. There will also be foundation emails included to contextualize these files.
Start of relevant timeline:
12:15: A lamp donated to me by a client had arrived in the mail and I had just finished setting up the jawn1 on my desk.
12:16: After admiring my work I lit a celebratory cigar.
12:18: There was a knock at the door. I assumed it was that old boul2 next-door here to complain about the smoke
12:20: After answering the door multiple soldiers tackled me to the ground and sedated me.
1:30: When I woke up I was in a dark, metal room.
1:32: The sounds of the road and my lack of balance led me to the conclusion that I was in the back of an armored truck.
1:35: After using my flashlight to examine my surroundings I noticed that the bolts on the back wall were very loose.
1:45: I struggled for several minutes to get the bolts off with my wrench. I used my wrench to remove all of the bolts swiftly.
1:50: Even after I pushed on it for several minutes the back wall would not come off. It was wedged in between the other walls so the jawn was still stuck there.
1:52: I pulled out my exploding pen and threw it at the wall.
1:55: After panicking because I realized I would get caught in the blast the driver turned left. This made the pen slide into the other corner of the room letting me avoid the blast.
1:57: The wall was blown out and I lept from the truck as the driver veered right letting me land gracefully into a pond next to the road.
3:15: I returned to my office then put on my civilian clothes to take my spy outfit to the dry cleaners
End of relevant timeline
Notes:
- My current hunch is that this was the work of a new supervillain. Dr. Z can be ruled out as that Boul is still in custody. I assume this villain went after me to keep me from stopping their evil plan. These Jabronis3 don't know who their messing with
- Buy more exploding pens
To: Joseph Wood
From: Dr. Moore
Subject: The Recent Escape of XXXX
Good morning Joseph Wood,
have you seen the damage report for your transport truck? The one carrying XXXX. The back wall was unbolted and then blown out with a small explosive. How did you not notice this until you returned to Site-28?
Respectfully,
Dr. Moore
To: Dr. Moore
From: Joseph Wood
Subject: The Recent Escape of XXXX
Sorry Dr. Moore,
Unfortunately, the AC in my truck had gone on the fritz that morning during pickup and would not shut off. That day happened to be historically cold for Philidelphia. The temperature in my truck dipped to 1.7°C, so I put on earmuffs. Coincidentally my radio also would not shut off and instead played full-volume heavy metal the entire ride back to Site-28. This led to me being unable to hear XXXX's escape. I will prevent this from being a consistent issue by doing a maintenance check before every drive.
Apologies,
Joseph Wood
To: Joseph Wood
From: Dr. Moore
Subject: The Recent Escape of XXXX
Thats unfortunate Joseph Wood,
I feared it would go this way. I think XXXX's luck manipulation is more potent than I assumed. We must think of a less straightforward way to capture it and fast. I want you to contact Pi-5 ("McFlys")4 and tell them to get together a plan within a week or two. If XXXX discovers the foundation and sends his evidence to the authorities it's my ass on the line.
Sincerely,
Dr. Moore
Suspect: Arin Ocak, soldier
Interrogator: SCP-XXXX
Foreword: This morning I found a mysterious ID card outside of my office. I believe it was dropped by one of the soldiers who came to attack me. The name on the ID card is Arin Ocak. Coincidentally I found this jabroni while at the dry cleaners and I was able to lure her to my office. As of now, she doesn't suspect a thing.
SCP-XXXX: Hello there, Arin, if that is your real name. What business do you have in Philadelphia?
Arin: I live here. Right by the center city.
SCP-XXXX: Is that so? Then why does your ID card say you're stationed in New York?
Arin: I work in New York.
SCP-XXXX: Isn't that convenient? Who do you work for?
Arin: The Jackson Heights Train Company. I'm a security officer.
SCP-XXXX: If you are innocent, which I doubt, you wouldn't mind letting me see the train schedule.
Arin: That's public information. You can look at them whenever you want.
SCP-XXXX: Where can I access this public information?
Arin: On the computer, we have the schedule on our website.
SCP-XXXX: Aha! Computers can't do that yet. Youse5 villains must have futuristic technology. I might be fighting a more advanced foe than I first thought because I've never heard of a computer creating a schedule!
Arin: Sir, you have a laptop computer on your desk.
SCP-XXXX: Liar! You can't use your mind tricks on me. This is a lamp that was kindly gifted to me by a client two days ago. I'll drive down to the train station myself thank you very much.
Closing Statement: After going to the Jackson Heights train station I learned that the next private train is leaving on the 30th. That must be the one this new villain is using to transport their superweapon. I must intercept this jawn at all costs. Arin will not be leaving my office until this is all over. I can't risk her telling the villain my plan.
To: Dr. Moore
From: Joseph Wood
Subject: Plan For Capture of XXXX
Good news Dr. Moore,
Pi-1 has gotten together a plan and the funding to do it. I will attach the files of their plan below. I hope it fits your requirements and expectations.
Respectfully,
Joseph Wood
To: Joseph Wood
From: Dr. Moore
Subject: Plan For Capture of XXXX
Good work Joseph Wood,
I have read through this plan and have devised a way to use XXXX for our own benefit. Its containment has already been planned. One question, when will the train be departing?
Sincerely,
Dr. Moore
To: Dr. Moore
From: Joseph Wood
Subject: Plan For Capture of XXXX
Sorry for the confusion Dr. Moore,
The train will be departing on the 2nd of September at 9:00 AM. We assume XXXX has already learned this. Hope this clears things up. Additionally, send a team to extract Arin Ocak. I think XXXX left her in its office.
Sincerely,
Joseph Wood
Foreword: Unfortunately, I was unable to catch the train on the 30th as the roads from Philadelphia to NYC were blocked by landslides that took until the 1st to clear. A private train on the second is the one I assume the villain is using because the train on the 30th was apparently being used by an old woman for her birthday. I assume there was no nefarious activity on this train.
Start of relevant timeline:
8:45: The train was at the station when I arrived. The back car of it is armored with the only entrance being inside the train. My plan is to use the ID card to get in and then sneak to the back of the train.
8:55: After multiple attempts of using the ID card I realized it had been locked out of the system and a guard had arrived at the door.
8:58: I shot the guard in the neck with my dart gun I used my judo and boxing mastery to subdue the guard and restrain him.
9:00: The train departed and I moved to the next car.
9:10: The second car had many laser tripwires and I tripped off the alarm and had to shoot out the speakers with my pistol used my acrobatic skills to swiftly move through the jawns and get to the next car.
9:15: In the next car three more guards were sitting around. I tried to act natural but they saw right through me and attacked. I pushed past them and sprinted for the next car, locking the door behind me. I took down all three men and restrained them.
9:17: When I entered the next car I tripped on a tripwire that let out a timebomb.
9:20: I decided to disarm the bomb by cutting the wires attached to it. When I did so it shortened the time to only 5 seconds and I threw the bomb at the door in a panic. That door happened to be locked and the explosion blew down the door. After examining the bomb I decided that the best plan of action was to plant it at the door as I had deduced that the next door was locked.
9:24: Inside the final car was surprisingly the supervillain. Instead of a big bomb or space laser, it was just him standing in the back supply room. He called himself the Conductor. He had a conductor's outfit on and a pistol in his hand.
9:25: The conductor told me that this was an elaborate plan to kill me and there never was a superweapon.
9:30: In my state of panic and adrenaline I punched him in the gut real haymaker hard. This interrupted the conductor's monologue and angered him.
9:35: In his anger, the Conductor shot at a high-pressure steam pipe next to me. This blasted me with hot steam knocking me to the ground.
9:36: While I was distracted and on the ground, the Conductor opened up the backdoor and climbed up to the roof.
9:38: After thinking for a minute I deduced that he was going to unlatch the caboose and leave me stranded so he could escape.
9:40: I climbed as fast as I could to the top of the train. My intuition was right and the boul was running to the locomotive car. He was trying to unlatch all the cars so he would have more speed to get back to his evil lair.
9:43: I ran toward the Conductor and tackled him halfway to the locomotive.
9:44: He pushed me away and got up. As I got up he gave me a one-two combo straight to the face and I stammered back down to the ground.
9:46: He began running again. It took me a minute to get up on my feet. When I got up I saw him jump down into the third car.
9:48: I did the same after catching up and when I got down the Conductor was waiting for me with a flamethrower.
9:50: He blasted me before running away. Thankfully I had my flame retardent suit on and the damage to my clothing and body was minimal.
9:52: The Conductor had too much of a lead on me. Fortunately, I pressed the button next to my belt buckle revealing the secret grappling hook inside of it. I shot it out onto the door handle of the locomotive and pulled myself to safety just as he unlatched the train.
9:54: I was hanging off the door of the locomotive and opened it up before I fell off. The door closed and locked behind me and the Conductor was nowhere to be found.
9:55: As I started investigating, a knock-out gas filled the room and I fell to the floor.
12:20: I awoke in my office with a big headache.
End of relevant timeline
Notes:
- My new assistant, Paskal Moore, came into my office and told me that the city had taken the Conductor into custody and he would be locked away for a long time. For my contributions, the city awarded me with my own P.I. agency. Now I get to stay in my office looking at clues and evidence while the junior spies go out on the field.
- Ask Paskal to buy more cigars.
To: Joseph Wood
From: Dr. Moore
Subject: Successful Capture of XXXX
Good news Joseph Wood,
The containment of XXXX is a success. You and Pi-5 can now move on to other projects. I must admit, the idea of a trapdoor in the locomotive to escape the gas was clever. Now I have much more on my plate after this mission. The fifties don't research themselves. Also, before I forget, deliver cigars to Site-28, quickly.
Sincerely,
Dr. Moore
Cite this page as:
"The_Babylon_Buddy The Greatest Spy in the World" by The_Babylon_Buddy, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/the-babylon-buddy. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
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