the Brundle trundle

The Manager - character-driven

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell. No personnel are to touch its hands with their own, and anyone observed doing so is to be administered class-A amnestics.

Description: SCP-XXXX is Tim ████, the business magnate publicly known for a proficiency for business negotiation. SCP-XXXX was made famous by its promotion to CEO from the position of janitor within ████████ Ltd. and its subsequent supervision of the company's merger with █████ Ltd., ████████ Co. and ██████-███ Inc., which was not financially beneficial to the latter three companies.

SCP-XXXX has one anomalous property: when any individual shakes its hand, they quickly come to believe that SCP-XXXX is at the top of their job's hierarchy. This thought manifests subconsciously, and the individual then makes a conscious effort to explain any logical inconsistencies within the belief. There is no record of anyone reaching the conclusion that SCP-XXXX is not really their boss.

The effect ends when either SCP-XXXX or its subject of influence leaves the subject's job's hierarchy. This can happen when a subject quits their job, SCP-XXXX fires the subject, or when one of them dies. When SCP-XXXX was contained and the story of its death leaked to the media, none of its former employees believed that they still worked for it.

+ Request to classify Tim ████ as an SCP

The Manager - humorous

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be locked within a cell that exists within a room that extends at least 15 meters beyond each wall of the cell. In the event that the cell is breached, all personnel are to stay at least 15 meters away from the outer walls, and security officers are to guard the door from the same distance.

Description: SCP-XXXX is business magnate Tim ████. SCP-XXXX-1 is the memetic anomaly that leads SCP-XXXX-2, any person who interacts with it, to believe that SCP-XXXX is at the top of their job's hierarchy.

SCP-XXXX-1 manifests in any person who is directly addressed by SCP-XXXX, and is located no more than 7 meters away from it. The effect cannot be neutralized with logic, and it lasts until either SCP-XXXX or SCP-XXXX-2 leaves the hierarchy.

> Note from Dr Sayed: I feel like I always need to explain this twice: no, SCP-XXXX will not turn you into a mindless drone. It'll just make you think it's your boss. If it tells you to jump into a lake, you don't obey. You give your twenty days' notice and shit on its desk.

+ Recovery log

The Foundation started to investigate the headquarters of ███ Ltd. for potential anomalous properties after SCP-XXXX was reported to be the new CEO of the company despite previous wiretapping showing no evidence of an impending change in management. Agent ████████ posed as an IRS agent, and began the investigation by interviewing SCP-XXXX.

Agent ████████: Excuse me, Mr ████, could I have a moment of your time? I'm with the IRS and have a few questions about your company.
SCP-XXXX: Of course, have a seat.
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh, uh… sorry sir, I was asked to investigate this building. I didn't know you were here.
SCP-XXXX: That's alright, you're doing your job. It should please you to know that I have finished the audit and found that all this company's assets are accounted for and taxed.
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh, ok. No anomalous properties?
SCP-XXXX: What do you mean?
SCP-XXXX-2: [DATA REDACTED].
SCP-XXXX: What foundation?
SCP-XXXX-2: [DATA REDACTED].
SCP-XXXX: No way! Could I get some examples?
SCP-XXXX-2: [DATA REDACTED].
SCP-XXXX: Couldn't you blink one eye at a time?

At this point, command had started listening to the conversation, and both subjects were rendered unconscious and brought to separate containment cells. International media reported that SCP-XXXX had died in a car crash.

The Manager - keter

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in an airtight room suspended by a steel cable within a vacuum. Oxygen is to be provided by a tank attached to the room. The walls outside the vacuum are to be fitted with 10 feet of fiberglass. While D-class personnel contact SCP-XXXX, there is to be complete darkness within the vacuum and adjacent areas of the facility. These areas are to remain empty, and white noise is to be played loudly over speakers.

There is to be an airlock at the entrance to the vacuum, as well as one within the room, so that D-class personnel assigned to SCP-XXXX may perform the journey across the vacuum donning spacesuits. Within the room, there is to be a pane of bulletproof glass dividing the room into two sections, separating the personnel from SCP-XXXX. The only opening within the glass shall be 10" x 4" for the delivery of food and water by D-class personnel.

D-class personnel are to be patted down, probed and scanned carefully in the outer airlock by the lowest-ranking security officers immediately before and after making the journey. If they are found to possess only their allowance of paper and pencil, they are administered a class-A amnestic. If anything beyond the allowance of paper and pencil is found, an officer present is to activate his portable device, triggering the instant incineration of the airlock. The officers are to be told that the portable device's sole function is the activation of an alarm.