The day is the 2nd of September, in the year of our lord, 1870
They say that the land beyond the Kivu is a place of darkness and mystery. Stories of giant men, man-eating trees and rivers choke-full of crocodiles collected in my mind, the more stories I hear, the more afraid I am of the place that I'm going to. I haven't heard of a white person returning from the other side of Lake Kivu or even an outsider returning that have not either died of dysentery or malaria, so my fear of the place beyond deepened further. Me and my translator, Adebayo are going to the Sae Tribe, a rather big farming tribe near one of the rivers flowing to the lake. I've heard of stories about the tribe, about how men there can have 10 wives, how children have round tattoos on their stomachs and how they pray to some nature witch for fertility and rain. I also heard that a bunch of Portuguese missionaries like me have stayed and lived with the Sae since last year. I suspect that they don't really like the company they have, always sending a haggard young man named Cesar to Ujiji every three weeks, asking for permission from the King Of Portugal to send them somewhere else. They're still there until now, living with those people. We are going to their place, try our luck in offering help in bringing true light on their life and to lead them to the path of the true Lord.
Lord, I pray for safety, to clear the jungle and pave a path of health and purity
Lord, I pray for strength, to thicken my voice and to straighten my legs in spreading your word to the people
Lord, I pray for patience, for the people here are maybe rash and stubborn, faithfully kneeling on their false gods and blinded on the reality of your grace.
The day is the 5th of September in the year of our Lord, 1870.
We have reached the village after a long, arduous trek. Thank the Lord that the two of us had a safe journey. By the time we came to the village, we were tired and in bad need of rest. Luckily, we were welcomed by the Negroes offering us fresh game and water. They led us to our huts which despite being small, are actually cool and comfortable for a house made of clay and reeds. They invited us over lunch, and there we saw the Portuguese men on the table, tired, sweaty and haggard. They sat on the opposite side of our table, quietly eating the meat the men here hunted for us. After lunch, I slept and woke up in the middle of the night. There I saw one of the Portuguese, sitting alone in a piece of log and talked to him about this place. His name was Father Silvio. He was born in Lisbon and became a priest to fulfill his parent's wishes. He said they arrived here last year after hearing stories of strange creatures lurking in the nearby jungle. They intended to convert the natives here, but the native's hard-headedness and savagery made the deed extremely difficult for them. " They're more faithful to their god than we to ours," he said begrudgingly. He also told me about their bizarre habits like inking the navels of their children and dying their hairs with a variety of concoctions. It was midnight when he bid goodnight to me, he was already dying to sleep, saying that rest is important in here as the "heads of these Negroes get much harder every passing day". He went back to his hut while I went to the river to wash my face. It was a dark walk but I reached it. The noises in this place are eerie, the chirps of the birds, the hisses of snakes all of the sounds make this place alive even in the dead of the night. I was curious about what strange creature lurk in this land. I have seen large brown pigs with mouths larger than crocodiles, bald flightless birds, and giraffes. Those creatures are eccentric already, what will I expect if even the natives here are afraid of this strange thing? I reached the bank, rinsed my face with the cold water to clear my conflicted and stressed mind and went back to sleep.
Lord, I am thanking you for the safe journey we have undertaken, for protecting us from wild beast and sickness lurking on this land.
Lord, I am asking for your guidance, lend me patience in helping these people. I am asking for better words and softer heads for I wish the coming days won't be as hard as what my brothers have said.
The day is the 14th of September in the year of our Lord 1870
The people here are stranger than I thought.
It has been a week since we came here and I'm afraid my assumptions of this place are true. The day after we arrived, a mass was held by the Portuguese, led by Father Alfonso. Thirty Negroes attended and needless to say, they were more than unruly. Some brought strange trinkets and some talked loudly during the lecture. One man stood up and asked if the "Mama wa Mote" came before the Almighty Lord and Father Alfonso adamantly refused. I asked Adebayo what the Negroes said and he also had no clue. I can see why the Portuguese want to leave this place. The people, despite being healthy and resourceful are unruly and savage. It's rare to see men of faith being furious but the faces of my fellow missionary brothers are just that. The mass ended and Father Silvio approached me. He told me that it is a relief that I came, that maybe I can persuade the natives with my different approach. He also said to me that they'll probably leave in the next three weeks after Deacon Cesar managed to persuade the officials in Ujiji to look more into our situation. I asked Father Silvio if he is willing to give up on the people here. " If the Lord cannot sway them into believing Him then their souls are already damned". He seemed to have given up with the natives but he immediately followed it, saying that the Lord doesn't give up on his children and that every soul can redeem itself if given the chance to. Adebayo came to us carrying our lunch and proceeded to tell us that a native told him that "Mama wa Mote" or the mother of all as he called it comes every time someone in the village gets seriously ill or when the nearby river dries up during a drought. Father Silvio that not once had he seen such creature on a year's worth of staying here. I went back to my hut after lunch and read the Bible. I was not in the best mood to read it so I went out. A bunch of Negroes were sitting under the shade of a large acacia tree, probably performing a ritual to appease the so-called "Mama wa Mote". I was so tempted to ask them about the strange creature visiting this place if its true and if the creature is dangerous to us. I was not composed and Adebayo was not with me so I refrained from asking them. I don't know what will happen in the next few days. I'll probably leave this place the moment the Portuguese will also leave. I went back to my hut and prayed to the Lord, asking Him to guide me in the coming days, as he is the only one that holds what may come.
The day is the 17th of September in the year of our Lord, 1870
We saw it.
We were reading the scriptures to the natives when we saw it. The Negroes were nosy as usual, not paying attention to us when a Negro woman ran to us, her face wet with tears. She asked us to help her child. We immediately ran to her hut and saw her child laying on hard thatched bed. I inspected and the moment I saw his swollen neck and sunken eyes, I knew the child is going to die. The mother told me that her child has been this way for several months now and the Portuguese did nothing because none of them are doctors. I told her that it was too late and only his soul can be saved from damnation. She vehemently opposed me, saying that the "Mama wa Mote" will save her child. She hurriedly went to their village chief, asking for a "calling ritual". My Portuguese brothers went back to the tree shade we held our mass and prayed for the boy's soul. Meanwhile, the natives drew a spiral-like pattern on a rocky island on the river and put fruits, red-colored pebbles and animal skulls on its edges. They carried the boy into the river and put him in the center of the spiral. Then on a rhythmic pattern, fifteen men danced on the shallow river. It was that way until the middle of the afternoon. The intense heat burned my skin that I have to retreat to the shade to cool myself. Suddenly, the men stopped and retreated back into shore. They just waited not doing anything. Two hours have passed and nothing happened. At that point, I became wary about the child's condition, the heat probably has worsened it by now so I talked to Adebayo to coerce the natives to return the child to the hut. He asked them and they opposed. I was ready to leave the riverbank, as my anger to their insidious stupidity may force me to do something I might regret when it appeared.
It appeared from the trees. The jungle rustled loudly until it was silenced when something came out of it. It was tall, about the size of two grown men and seemingly floated in the air. It had black spirals on the back of its hands, on its forehead and its abdomen. Thick vegetation surrounded its body and several swaying vines emanated from it. Its hair was wavy and shone a deep green and its skin was also green albeit looked dirtier, like moss mixed with soil. It approached the boy, sat on the rocky soil and embraced his face. Tears also flowed from the creature's pale white eyes, maybe sympathizing with the pain the boy has suffered for months now. It picked a fruit from the pile the natives put in the edge of the ceremonial spiral and in an instant, the black spiral on the back of its hand shone a bright white. The creature gave the fruit to the boy and the boy took one bite from it. The creature smiled on what the boy did and kissed him on the forehead. The creature then stood up and floated away. The jungle rustled again and the creature disappeared in the foliage. The natives rejoiced and chanted, praising the creature and proceeded to walk to the island where it all happened. They carried the boy back to the bank and the child looked healthy like it never almost died a few hours ago. The next thing I saw was my Portuguese brothers standing on the riverbank, also dumbfounded on what happened. Father Silvio asked me for an explanation and I never gave an answer as I was also confused about what happened. The natives held a large feast and they invited us over. My missionaries brothers joined them while I went back to the riverbank. I've always refuted claims of supernatural even in my hometown, believing them to be just illusions people mistake for a being of power. The Almighty Lord is the only one with power, he only has the control of the wheel leading this world. I saw something today that changed all of that. I started walking to the place where it happened a few hours ago, taking a piece of fruit and ate it. It was good but not something that can cure someone of sleeping distemper from one bite of it. I went back to my hut, my mind still not recovering from what happened. I knelt on my bedside and prayed hard to the Almighty, hoping for an answer, as I don't know what may happen to my soul if I stay here any longer.
Lord, I pray for answers, for what I saw today. May you eternal wisdom help me in knowing the truth.
Lord, I pray for a stronger faith. May your hands mold my soul into a better stronger man of faith and word.
Lord,…..
The day is the 23rd of September in the year of our Lord, 1870
I cannot sleep last night, I was too occupied thinking about what happened last week. It has been this for the past three days, I really want to rest but my mind has been craving for answers for what I saw. The Sae invited us for breakfast and this time, I joined them. Adebayo was with me so the moment we sat on the table, I asked immediately on what. They readily answered my questions and it remained that for the last 2 hours. Apparently, the creature that I saw is the real "Mama wa Mote" or Mother of All. It is said that she was born from the placid waters of Lake Victoria, breaking out from the trunk of an acacia tree. She was alone in the vast world that she lives on so she gave birth to a child. The child is like her in appearance with green skin and black spirals on its body and the Mother of All, desiring to have children, washed the green tinge and black tattoos with the black muddy water of Victoria, revealing a black child just like them. The child asked for a sibling and this time, the Mother gave birth to another one, but this time instead of the black muddy water she washed on her first child, she washed the second child with silty water from a stream feeding into the lake, revealing a child with brown skin just like the Arabs. She gave birth one last time to a child the same as the first two but instead of the silty water of the lake and the black muddy water of the swamps, she washed her third child with clear, crystalline water found on the depths of the lake revealing a child with white skin and blue eyes just like us. She fed all three children with fruit and meat, cured them of ailments and finally set them free unto the world beyond. The Sae sees her as kind but powerful. She can call upon the spirits of the forest to slice intruders with abnormally sharp vines, she can fill your throat with insects and pests that will eat you from the inside and spew poisonous water from her mouth to punish ungrateful men who abused their strength to abuse and hurt their fellow tribesmen. They also say that her love for man, to her children, is unconditional as she is willing to aid the sick and weak and pour water on a scorched land if her children beg to. I listened intently to what they all said and the more my mind took in all the stories they told, the more disbelief conjured on me. I in my heart now that what they said to me is a bunch of made-up stories told by the elders that do not know much better. But I saw it, I saw something that my friends will laugh at if I tell them.
Finishing my meal, I went to Father Alfonso's hut to tell them about what I heard from the Negroes and there I saw him and the rest of the Portuguese, talking about what the Mama wa Mote. With them was Cesar, the young deacon they send to Ujiji every three weeks to plead to the Portuguese diocese to send them home. This time, they were successful and they were allowed to leave the Sae village once the month ends. Despite the news, they never rejoiced and they still plan to hold a lecture on the coming Wednesday. Something changed in their mood like they're determined to do something now instead of complaining and groveling on their helpless situation. I asked Father Silvio about what they're planning to do, on why they won't leave this time. "I hope the Almighty Lord gives us one more chance to change the natives' minds. That green witch they call their mother cannot save them from the consequences of their sins", he said to me. They finished talking and went back to their huts. I was the last to leave as I want to tell Father Alfonso about what the Negroes told me but he refused, saying that his ears are tired from all the rambling his fellow ministers have told him earlier. I left disappointed. I walked to the acacia shade where Adebayo is sitting to tell me all the other stories the Sae told about the Mama wa Mote when Cesar passed by me. He was riding his horse, holding a yellow-colored long letter. The letter seemed important that I attempted to ask him about the contents. He refused, saying that it is a secret between him and Father Alfonso. It was strange seeing him leaving again, as they're already allowed to leave this place by September's end and he doesn't need to plead the ministers anymore to help them move out. Nevertheless, I bid him farewell as he rode to the direction of Ujiji and went to where Adebayo is, talking more about the stories the Sae told him.
Lord, Forgive me for losing a figment of my faith. The strange men and creatures here have seduced me to attempt to sway your grace. I will never do it again; I will never be tempted again on to the other side as your light is the only giver of salvation in this world.
The day is the 30th of September in the year of our Lord, 1870
We never left.
They held a lecture this morning and this time they didn't look tired and angry. They lectured more lively this time and more natives listened to them this time. The Negroes didn't change though, they were as unruly and savage as the other times we held a mass here. The mass ended and the Portuguese returned to their huts. They didn't pack their possessions, they've haven't even touched their items since yesterday when. They went out and brought their rifles with them, possibly to hunt wild game in the nearby jungle. The heat on this continent is the worst, much more than the bugs, the hostile men and the wild beasts. I went to the river to cool myself off only to discover it retreated to a depth shorter than a man's knee. The rocky isle where it all happened two weeks ago has now greatly expanded in size and the rich water that once flowed in the river has now been replaced by a mixture of silt and black mud. I sat on the nearby shade, fanning myself with my loose clothes when Adebayo ran to me. He told me a young Negro girl fell to the ground while tending the vegetables her family grows in their backyard. She was standing on this very hot afternoon so I knew what afflicted her. We ran to the hill where their hut was situated and I saw her there, laying on the hot baked soil surrounded by her weeping parents. We took her to their hut and asked Adebayo to gather whatever water was left on the river. I asked the parents to take her clothes off and gather whatever juicy fruits they see around their hut. I was left with her holding her frail cracked palms, hoping God will save her soul if we fail to save her life. Adebayo returned struggling to carry the full clay jar. I fed it into her mouth as well as the berry juices her parents gave to me. We watched her for the whole afternoon, waiting for a sign that she has averted death. Dawn came and he still hadn't woke up. I checked up on her again and felt a weak pulse on the wrist. I knew that she's barely in pain at that time but her breath signified that she has the least of strength to continue fighting. I told her parents to continue feeding her water and help her cool herself off. We left and were invited to dinner by the Portuguese. They boasted the large boar they hunted, telling us that that the boar's tusk could've pierced their bones if they weren't fast enough. It was a terrible meal, probably because the boar was too old making its meat gamy and unsavory to my tongue. I didn't finish my meal, hurrying to o back to my hut before they pressure me to finish it. I am sitting on my bed early in the evening. I don't know what to do here anymore. Converting the natives is hard and meaningless and I don't have the necessary equipment to alleviate the ailments afflicting the people here. I want to go home, to Scotland where my kin is born and where the people are familiar. I've failed to seek the source of the Great Nile and hid on the interiors of this continent out of shame and guilt. But something inside me wants to see the creature, to reassure myself that the events of that one afternoon weren't a dream or an illusion. I wish to see again a power different from the Almighty Lord, not opposing him but living with him. I crawled to the colder side of my hard bed and wished that I will see it again in one way or another, to ease my mind and calm my soul from what I saw and what I believe. I hope that the heat will be much more forgivable tomorrow.
The day is the 3rd of October, in the year of our Lord 1870
The heat was the worst this day. The air was vibrating like a hot mass of fire. The river has fully dried up and what replaced it was a desolate, cracked strip of black soil. The Portuguese have not left their huts, possibly to avoid the baking oven that is the outdoors. The Negroes began to cover themselves with black clay to "ward off the intense heat and the biting flies". I never tried it as I don't want my face to be filled with filth despite seeing the Negroes to be much more comfortable in their blackened skin. I sat on a mahogany tree. It barely had leaves but it provided enough shade to cool me. I fanned myself with my loose clothes and softly drank what remained of my water. Adebayo sat beside me, he was more tolerant of the heat than I am. He was eating fruit. I didn't what type of fruit it is and I never asked him. Suddenly, the natives gathered en masse and started to move to the same rocky isle where it all happened. The carved the same spiral and gathered the same red rocks and fruit and put them on the spiral's edge. They started dancing the same song and praised the "Mama wa Mote" with the same words. I was worried about them. The heat was really terrible that day and not one of them rested or drank water during their ritual. I saw the little girl I healed the other day dancing with them. She barely survived her situation and yet there she is, chanting with them under a more intense sun. I'm afraid that when she falls on the ground again, she might not make it. I want them to stop, to rest for a while and hydrate themselves. It was not good for them to die from heat after all, what kind of mother would want her children to die in asking for her help? However, I also want them to not stop, to continue until the creature reappears in front of me. I want to ask the creature questions, on if its a creation of the Almighty Lord or a demon spawn masked in green skin and black spirals and it won't appear if the natives don't call it. I know that the Almighty Lord, and maybe her to be elusive. They're all-powerful but they shroud their strength in signs and metaphors, relying on man's faith to understand it. After an hour, they stopped and sat on the hot baked soil. They never even bothered to drink water. They sat dry for the next four hours. I can see their eyes looked tired and gloomy. They obviously need water but the sheer force of faith stopped them from seeking temporary means of satiating their thirst and in waiting for the Mother of All to quench them with her "blessed water". I was also tired at that time, from waiting for the thing to appear. Perhaps she won't appear at all and fail her so-called children, killing them with thirst and desperation. I fell asleep, to find some comfort on the rash heat when I was woken up the collective yells of joy of the Sae. I looked into the jungle and it rustled the same way as last time. It then appeared. It looked largely the same except the prominent large bulge on its abdomen. I asked Adebayo if it was pregnant and he said that I was right. It will give birth to not a child but to itself. It was a way to live forever, to return to infancy and to row again to maturity. It was also why it had large black spirals on its body, signifying a cycle of life, of water, of seed in the world. It proceeded to grab one of the red stones in the spiral's edge and crushed it, the wind sweeping the red sand on the hard cracks of the riverbed. The instant it happened, a soft rain trickled on the soil. It was the first rain for three weeks. I felt it on my skin, the first time rain was gentle to me and saw the Negroes running into the cracked riverbed waiting for the soft stream of water to flow again. The Portuguese went out of their huts, surprised by the sudden rain. They went to me and asked questions about what happened. They were confused but angrier than usual, something they weren't after they refused to leave the village. I looked into the creature and for a second it looked at me. Its face was human, like a mother. It looked at me blankly for a second before gazing away. For a second, my eyes looked with an all-powerful creature, with the proclaimed mother of all humanity, a creature that can heal all body, and call forth rain. That was the closest thing of an answer I got, that it exists in reality, that the world I'm living in exists with her.
Lord, I surrender everything to you. May the path you've given me straight and free from treachery.I ask for no more.
The day is the 6th of October, year of 1866
I saw it all, what happened
// It was horrible. I don't what to stick to my brain. The poor people, the poor thing//
It was a day ago while we were eating lunch when Cesar returned from Ujiji. He was wearing different clothes, much newer than mine. He announced that they arrived. I didn't know what he meant but I felt something in me, like something terrible, really terrible may happen. Then I heard a distant noise, a rumbling from the ground. The noise turned to steps, a hundred steps of foot. Suddenly, a group of men dressed in blue and red appeared at the entrance of the village. They all rode their horses, the large long rifles glistening on their back. Father Alfonso walked to them and they chatted about something. The villagers rounded on them, they were confused about what is happening. They were slightly afraid by the sight of cannons and guns, the Sae were never the most aggressive people. I asked Silvio on what is happening. He promptly told me, "we just reported everything we saw to the King and he sent this battalion of brave men to kill that blasphemous green witch and her disgusting followers". I cannot believe what he said. The Sae gave him free food and shelter and in no way insulted or hurt him yet, he called them disgusting, like they're worse than pig filth. They were penting up their anger all this time, wanting to beat the living hell out of these people. I know that the Negroes were stubborn but their hatred already started the moment they came here, disgusted about their faces, their food, the way they dress, the confusing language they spoke. The leaders went down his horse and prompted Adebayo to tell the Negroes to start doing their ritual and call upon " the green bitch they call mother". Adebayo complied, possibly because of fear and told the village chief. The chief vehemently denied, saying that the Mama wa Mote is not an animal you can call and serve you. The leader proceeded to point his gun to the leader, angrily clenching the gun demanding him to do it. The chief still denied.
The day is the 28th of April, in the year of our Lord 1873
I still remember the Sae, the people who despite their humbled faith treated me like their own brethren. I really wish they're all still alive as I heard that an entire village died of dysentery. I wish it wasn't them. I still remember her, may God rest her soul if she had one. What I did to her was my worst sin and I am willing, Lord to burn in the embers of Hell if you take me now.
Per 
