THEMangalify_2

SCP-XXXX upon first contact with Agent ███████

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held in a humanoid chamber within Site 32. It does not any sustenance, but due to its cooperation it is treated as a “normal” humanoid SCP. A washing machine is also to be placed within its containment chamber, which should be filled accordingly. Furthermore it is allowed to request books, and if necessary sewing accessories. See Incident Report XXXX-A.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a sentient, white cotton towel, measuring 50 cm x 100 cm, capable of speech and locomotion. Testing has shown, that it has the same properties and is as perceptible to damage as a regular towel.
Normally SCP-XXXX is folded in a way, that it appears to have four (4) limbs and one (1) head, capable of humanoid movement. Other forms have also been witnessed.
If offered food, SCP-XXXX will fold itself into a mouth like structure and begin to consume it. How its digestion works is as of yet unknown. So far, no fecal matter has been produced by SCP-XXXX.
It first came to attention to off-duty Agent ███████. While on a cruise she overheard cleaning personnel talking about a “talking towel in room 351”. Further investigation showed that the room was reserved for a "Frederick Welto", who nobody has seen so far. After making initial contact to SCP-XXXX Agent ███████ informed the Foundation, who retrieved it to Site 32.

Interview Log XXXX-01:

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Researcher ████████ (henceforth referred to as Researcher)

Foreword: Shortly after being captured, SCP-XXXX demanded to talk to "The Person in charge". Site Manager ████████ was unavailable at the moment, hence Researcher ████████ was called in.

Researcher: Good afternoon. Would you please identify yourself?

SCP-XXXX: Hello to you as well, dear Doctor. Before we start, I would like to clarify the terms of my accommodation. I’d like to have a bed, three meals a day, a washing machine with according supplies; a minibar filled with various spirits and snacks, a bottle of red wine every Sunday and … let me think… oh yes a good book every now and then. Oh dear, where are my manners? My name is Frederick by the way and I wish to be called that name, and not some silly number.

Researcher: Uhm, these are quite the demands. Now why should we give in to these and not just terminate you?

SCP-XXXX: Firstly because you don’t do that kind of stuff to anomalous beings like me. Secondly, what if I could tell you something about the Chaos Insurgency and give you some coordinates to one of their facilities, in which they hold some objects of possible interest to you?
Look I just want to live a normal life like everybody else, but now that you guys got me, I hope that you make it as normal as possible for me.

Researcher: If the information you provide is reliable, we will see what we can do.

SCP-XXXX: Don’t worry about my reliability, this is the place where I was created. Now the coordinates are: N 40[REDACTED] and E 73[REDACTED]. Look for increased signs of radiation, the entrance is on the west side of the big boulder and the code is [REDACTED].

Researcher: Thank you. Now, as I said, if your information is as reliable as you deem it to be, we will take care of your accommodation.

SCP-XXXX: I’m looking forward to that. Before I forget it, could I get my sunglasses back? They were quite expensive.

Closing Statement: The information given to us by SCP-XXXX has yielded positive results with the retrieval of SCP-████ and minimal casualties. Site Manager ████████ therefore partially accepted SCP-XXXX demands.

Note: "I'm not allowed to have a Minibar in my office, so why should a damn SCP get one? Especially if it doesn't even need to eat or drink!" - Site Manager ████████

Incident Report XXXX-A
On 29/07/20██ SCP-XXXX breached containment by supposedly slipping through an open air vent. Two (2) hours later it was found highly intoxicated in a cupboard in Site 32's break room with five (5) empty bottles of diverse spirits, yelling "I'm the birthday-boy, [EXPLETIVE]!"
Due to its non biological structure, SCP-XXXX was soaked in warm water until it was no longer inebriated. Further rights have been revoked.

Note: Investigation are running on who smuggled alcohol into Site 32. Personnel capable of identifying the responsible person should inform their closest Security Officer. - Site Manager ████████