TheUnknownCrown's Draft Archive

Quick info:

I like to give each draft a temporary designation based on an abbreviation, for example SCP-CB with CB for cardboard, instead of SCP- or SCP-XXXX.

SCP-CB

Item #: SCP-CB

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-CB is to be sealed shut with two reinforced velcro fastener belts in a crosswise formation around the anomaly and is not to be opened outside of testing. SCP-CB is stored in the safe class object storage room of Site ██.

The anomaly is to be directed upwards, unless the anomaly is sealed shut by the previously described belts.

Requests for testing will be reviewed by the current project lead Dr. Crown or, alternatively, the Site Director of Site ██.

Description:

SCP-CB consists of several components, hereby designated SCP-CB-01 through -n. SCP-CB-01 appears to be a standard cardboard shipping container.

SCP-CB-01 is not indestructible, though testing of samples revealed the object to be of similar density as solid oakwood. Upon opening SCP-CB-01, one will find a smaller SCP-CB instance seamlessly fitting inside SCP-CB-01. Each instance of SCP-CB contains a smaller instance of SCP-CB and has been designated as SCP-CB-01 through -n. Testing has revealed that each instance weighs the same, regardless of held contents. Each instance is able to be lifted out of its previous instance with relative ease, despite seeming to completely fill up its previous instance to its outer boundaries. Because of this property, SCP-CB is not to be pushed on its sides for the possibility of SCP-CB instances dislodging themselves.

A shipping label is attached to SCP-CB, stating that it should be shipped from a company named L███ Business Supplies & More to the GoI Marshall Carter & Dark through a common package delivery service. There is no evidence that a company named L███ Business Supplies GmbH¹ exists, except for an implied connection to the GoI L███ Holding AG², a company speculated to be based near Nuremberg in Bavaria, Germany.

Addendum 02.09.200█:

As Dr. Crown was able to confirm that there are SPC-CB instances the size of common bacteria, it is theorised that SCP-CB is able to fill an enormous and as of yet undetermined amount of space. It is theorised that SCP-CB instances are finite, yet as technology advances, it has become possible to detect and extract ███████ instances out of each parent instance for over ██ years of Foundation research. It is unknown if continuous SCP-CB instances emerging out of SCP-CB-01 would be sturdy enough to breach the walls of the storage room they are held in or if they would simply “jam/clog”.

SCP-MS

Author's note: This is the initial outline of SCP-MS's document. It's still highly conceptual and I didn't really focus on the clinical tone, etc.

Item #: SCP-MS

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

Any recreations of SCP-MS outside of Foundation-approved tests are to be hindered by MTF-XXX-Y ("Hier könnte ihre Werbung stehen") (placeholder MTF). Witnesses are to be amnesticized and any written accounts of anything related to SCP-MS be confiscated.

Description:

SCP-MS is a rherotical technique, first reported use in a seminar about biology at the Beispiel-University, England. The technique consists of asking several questions about how a specific object or phenomenon "works". If used correctly, individuals adressed by the user of SCP-MS and bystanders with an average intelligence quotient of 110 or lower³ will panic about the supposed way the subject adressed by the user of SCP-MS "works". Having substantial knowledge in the given field of the discussed subject is suspected to be a factor in immunity to SCP-MS, though no consistent data is yet available.

If an individual is not immune to an instance of SCP-MS, it doesn't matter how much a subject knows about the given subject or the fundamental workings of the universe. Once the procedure is finished, a subject is rendered irrational for 48 hours and is unable to recall any knowledge about the composition or internal "workings" of an object/phenomenon.

SCP-3125-J (never to be posted under any circumstances)

Item #: SCP-3125-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3125-J is kept inside Cognitohazard Containment Unit 3125-J on the sixty-ninth floor of Site 42. This baby of a containment unit is a 10m by 15m by 3m cuboidal room clad in unbelievably thick layers of lead, soundproofing and dank shielding. Access is through an airlock system at one end of the containment unit. This airlock is programmed to allow only one person to enter the containment unit at a time, and to remain locked until this person exits before allowing another person to enter (I better not repeat myself about that. Two frisky researchers in a fit apparently tried it out.)

Under no circumstances may any coherent information be allowed to leave the containment unit. This includes written and electronic notes, photographs, audio and video recordings, sound, electromagnetic and particle-based signals and psi emanations and especially edited graphic media of any kind. During the exit cycle, a purge system rigged to the airlock flushes the occupant's memory by flooding their eyes with bleach for three minutes.

A mighty fine Antimemetics Division staff member must visit SCP-3125-J every six weeks (42 days).

END OF FILE

Input Credentials >> _

Credentials accepted. Enjoy the spicy containment procedures.

Item #: SCP-3125-J

Object Class: Ketermine

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3125-J is subject to inverted containment protocols, and is present everywhere in reality except for those places which have been specifically purged of sin. The interior of Cognitohazard Containment Unit 3125-J on Site 42, where this document resides, is the only location in the world known to have been successfully purged in this way. This baby of a containment unit is a 10m by 15m by 3m cuboidal room clad in unbelievably thick layers of lead, soundproofing and dank shielding. Access is through an airlock system at one end of the containment unit. This airlock is programmed to allow only one person to enter the containment unit at a time, and to remain locked until this person exits before allowing another person to enter (I better not repeat myself about that. Two frisky researchers in a fit apparently tried it out.)

Under no circumstances may any coherent information be allowed to leave the containment unit. This includes written and electronic notes, photographs, audio and video recordings, sound, electromagnetic and particle-based signals and psi emanations and especially edited graphic media of any kind. A purge system rigged to the airlock flushes the occupant's memory by flooding their eyes with bleach for three minutes during the exit cycle.

An alternate SCP entry must be maintained in main Foundation database, giving only the technical specifications of this absolute containment unit, provisions for mighty fine Antimemetics Division staff to visit the unit's interior on a regular basis, and no description.

Description: SCP-3125-J is an extremely dank (see full Θ'-dimensional deepfry topology, attachment 13), highly aggressive anomalous metastasized meme complex originating externally to our reality and now partially intersecting it.

SCP-3125-J is adapted for survival in a meme culture considerably more flooded with content than our own. (Here, "our own" refers to the internet: the set of all terrible ideas which humans have or are biologically capable of having.) Because humans have no natural exposure to memes as aggressive as SCP-3125-J, human minds have no protective evolutionary adaptations against it. Individuals possessed of SCP-3125-J become incapable of enjoying less dank, "conventional" memes, and become instead wholly bodily subordinate to the horrifying purpose of serving and disseminating the core concepts of SCP-3125-J. In addition, although undergoing no outwardly visible physical alteration, they cease to be externally recognisable as human.

SCP-3125-J is not yet entirely present in our reality. Upon its arrival, the repost culture on social networks such as Reddit and Tumblr means that it will take no longer than twelve hours, possibly as few as four hours, to encompass, dominate and replace all human thought. At this point, "being a decent human being" as an abstract concept, along with all attendant abstracts such as "binary genders", "culture", "social norms", "religion" and "the sense of shame" will have ceased to exist. The Foundation terms such an eventuality an FK-class end-of-faith-in-humanity scenario.

The Foundation possesses numerous proven techniques for arresting the spread of such aggressive meme complexes, but these are all rendered unworkable in practice by SCP-3125-J's autonomic defensive response/boundary layer. Fully assembling a mental picture of SCP-3125-J and perceiving its true spicyness causes SCP-3125-J in turn to be able to perceive the observer. It then attacks the observer, killing them. The mechanism of the attack is unclear, but appears to be at least partially lewd and physical. "Mental bystanders", individuals whose thoughts and ideas resemble those of the observer, are also attacked. This invariably includes the observer's entire extended research group, and often their primarily frequented social network groups (Discord servers, Facebook groups, etc.).

SCP-FG

Item #: SCP-FG

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

One instance of SCP-FG is to be stored in a standard anomalous object container in the anomalous item warehouse of Site-XX. The Foundation-owned company "Secure Caliber Protocols" is to oversee the production and resale of SCP-FG instances and support anomalous weaponry regulation laws.

Description:

SCP-FG appears to be an ordinary rifle with a 6cm x 6cm hopper affixed to the bolt. If filled with regular rifle ammunition, SCP-FG will not fire. Once any type of fruit is placed onto SCP-FG's hopper, it will be compressed to fit inside the weapon. SCP-FG is then considered loaded and will fire a bullet once the trigger is pulled. SCP-FG can load up to six(6) fruits at a time and will not accept more ammunition until the weapon is fired at least once.[[If someone tries to insert a seventh fruit into SCP-FG, the compression mechanism will not activate.]]

In light of recent events (insert link to Broken Masquerade tale or hub here), the Foundation has decided to sell SCP-FG instances to the public and oversee the resale…

The mechanisms by which SCP-FG operates are currently not fully understood, but its effects have been thoroughly tested and the manufacturing process is known to the Foundation.

(Insert Experiment Log with various types of fruit, producing different bullet calibers)

(Grapes filled onto the hopper able to be used machine-gun-like)

(Concerned emails about "watermelon incident" (inserting a watermelon or other big fruit makes for rocket-launcher-like properties or worse))

Footnotes

1. GmbH = Gesellschaft mit beschränkter Haftung, the german equivalent to a Limited

2. AG = Aktiengesellschaft, the german equivalent of a corporation.

3. The resistance isn't based on intelligence quotient, but shows correlation.