Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
The anomaly must be contained in a humanoid containment cell1, and given the amenities given to a normal human, like a mini-house containing a kitchen and a bathroom with an in-built artificial pond to serve as a shower.
Description:
SCP-XXXX is a squirrel, with all the organs and features of a squirrel, other than the fact it can talk and thinks its a human being, Homo Sapiens. For example, it jumps into a pond ever day, in an attempt to "shower" and trying to breach containment at 07:00 am, claiming it's going to "work". During that time, it attacks everything that tries to stop it from breaching containment. These things include:
- the wall
- containment chamber entrance
- a shoe thrown at it
- the guarding MTF's helmet
- the same MTF's head2
The SCP is a professional at many things humans can do, like carpentry, creating weapons and armor, cooking food, etc. The foundation has attempted to turn this squirrel into a human, and to be employed as a member of the Foundation, thanks to the fact it can do and create a great many things. The squirrel is also a polyglot and claims to be of Anglo-Saxon origin.
Addendum:
SCP-XXXX's first interview, being interviewed by Junior Researcher █████.
SCP-XXXX: What do you want, buster. I'm tryin' to get to work, unless you don't see.
Junior Researcher █████: I am here to interview you, mainly on your habits of not acting like a squirrel.
SCP-XXXX: Of course I don't act like a squirrel, I'm a human for god's sake, why do you people not believe me? Just let me out of here already, I just need to get to work.
Junior Researcher █████: Unfortunately, I can't let you out, as that would count as breaching and cause me to be terminated.
SCP-XXXX: Sure, sure. No need to lie, you over-reacting buffoon. Just let me out of here, and I promise, no one will know. Got it?
Junior Researcher █████: No, I'm here to answer my questions and that's what you will do.
at that moment, SCP-XXXX leaped up and clawed at Junior Researcher █████'s face. After the interview, stricter measures were put into place to avoid such incidents occurring again.
At January 12 2014, the O5 council decided to attempt in introducing SCP-XXXX to SCP-2050-23, the current leader of the "Sciurine Monastic Brotherhood of Poor-Fellows and Crusader Knights". This is what happened.
SCP-2050-2: Hello, brother. What do you require today?
SCP-XXXX: I'm not your brother, and who are you anyway?
SCP-2050-2: I am the Grand Master of the Brotherhood.
SCP-XXXX: And how does that make me your brother?
SCP-2050-2: All squirrels are related, together, one entity. We move together, decide together, help each other, and work together. This foundation might be supplying us with metal for armor and weaponry, but they are always against each other.
SCP-XXXX: And? What does that have to do with me? I have to go home, you know. I have a life that extends beyond a pitiful squirrel cult.
SCP-2050-2: The brotherhood of mine isn't a cult. And it would like to recruit you, thanks to your many skills.
SCP-XXXX: If I join you, would I be let out of this freakshow of a place?
SCP-2050-2: Fortunately not, as we're in the care of the Foundation.
SCP-XXXX: You know, speaking of humans, I used to be a [REDACTED]4 once.
Researchers currently watching the tests had their mouths agape, and quickly noted it down in their notebooks. Then they separated SCP-2050-2 and SCP-XXXX.
End of cross-test log.
This is an account of the original retrieval and capture of SCP-XXXX. The events were so unusual that we had to log it, for further information.
Sigma-83, "Animal Control" was sent into the Canadian woods after an anonymous farmer tipped the local police about them seeing a talking squirrel.
Task Force Leader Bennett: speaks into radio We're entering the supposed location of the sighted anomaly, haven't seen anything so far but we're going in to look further.
Task Force Recruit James: What is the anomaly, anyway? We were never briefed about what it was.
Task Force Senior Operative Gray: It's this squirrel that talks.
Task Force Recruit James: *laughs* Sorry, couldn't keep it in. Did you just say, a squirrel that talks?
Senior Operative Gray: Yes, I just did. Got a problem with that?
Task Force Leader Bennett: That's enough, operatives. Get ready to land.
*The helicopter carrying the MTF squad started to land, and the pilot held two hands up, for the victory sign, and wished them luck.*
*Half an hour later, they spotted the anomaly.*
Task Force Leader Bennett: speaks into radio Got visuals on the squirrel.
*They creep up towards the squirrel, which is turned around. They thought it would be easy, but they were wrong..5*
