This Thing

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS CLASSIFIED BY LAW OF THE MEGASITE OBJECT CLASS

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ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 2/XXXX AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.

+Enter Credentials

Object Class: Megasite¹

How to contain: This thing can't be contained, it'll just teleport out of the chamber besides as long as no one writes anything formal 'bout this thing,we are gonna be all good

What is it:It is a human thing…some report it to be human, others say it looks like it's from another dimension but that ain't the point. It has really long legs and is pretty tall with people saying it's over 2 metres tall. People also say it's fat but the people who say that are D-class so…yeah

The anomalous ability of this thing reacts aggressively to anyone writing something formal about it. It will attack them and then destroy the thing if it's physical and delete it if it's virtual. That's why this document is like this.

It was once found holding a paper reading the following:

I love my pet…It's so cute and big and beautiful[ILLEGIBLE]²
When it was asked about the paper, it replied

Interviewed: This Thing

Interviewer: Dr. G█████ N█████

Foreword: An interview relating to the paper above

<Begin Log>

Interviewer: So, about yesterday's paper… Who wrote it?

This Thing: It was from my owner. She cared for me.

Interviewer: Why did it have blood stains**

<End Log, [optional time info]>

Closing Statement: This thing refused to speak for 8 9 an indefinite amount of months after this incident

Footnotes

1. The Megasite object class refers to objects or organisms that should be keter class but cannot be referred to using the well known system of documentation

2. The text following this was illegible due to blood stains