Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX poses no immediate risk and can be safely stored in a steel locker for five out of seven days a week. SCP-XXXX should be removed from storage and placed for use in the facility's kitchen for two days each week, to prevent depression in SCP-XXXX and excessive sap build up in SCP-XXXX's containment locker.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a medieval boar spear, composed of a steel spearhead, approximately 40cm long, and a 1.8m long shaft made of ash wood. The spearhead of SCP-XXXX has a 26cm blade attached to a thin metal shaft that is 14cm long, with two metal lugs, each protruding 7cm out from the steel shaft parallel to the blade.
Testing indicates that SCP-XXXX is less than 100 years old. SCP-XXXX features no identifying marks aside from a small imprint of a seashell at the base of the spearhead. This is assumed to be the maker's mark, but the imprint is too generic to find a direct match. Several blacksmiths with similar marks, ranging from hobbyists to professionals were approached. When questioned, they stated the mark was similar to theirs, but that it was not their work.
SCP-XXXX was first discovered in the back room of a pawn shop in England, by the name of ██████. The owner had gone away on holiday for a week and came back to find his shop's storage room filled with tree sap, slowly seeping out the wooden shaft of SCP-XXXX. The foundation was notified of this from local authorities, after the shop owner reported the incident, believing someone was playing a cruel prank on him.
The anomalous effects of SCP-XXXX manifest most prominently when used to strike at a living creature. SCP-XXXX's shaft will shrink, causing the attack to miss the intended target. If shrinking the shaft of the weapon would not prevent a living target getting hurt, then SCP-XXXX will proceed to grow instead, to try to block movement. The spearhead is not affected by this property and does not change shape.
SCP-XXXX has a form of sentience. It does not like being used as a weapon, instead, it prefers being used as a tool, with a particular fondness for cooking. SCP-XXXX seems to be able to sense the world around it, but as of yet, research has yet to have proven how. If SCP-XXXX is used for an action it does not like, it will begin to create a large amount of ash tree sap until it calms down again. As of yet, a limit to the amount of sap it can produce has not been found.
Test XXXX-A
Subject: A middle-aged, Caucasian male identified as D-5930 and one sheep.
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to hold SCP-XXXX by the shaft and attack the sheep. Subject D-5930 attempted to attack the sheep using SCP-XXXX, but failed due to the shaft of SCP-XXXX shrinking, causing the attacks to miss.
Results: Subject did not harm the sheep.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX appears to incapable of harming the sheep with regular attacks.
Test XXXX-B
Subject: D-5930 and a middle-aged, Caucasian female identified D-5931
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to hold SCP-XXXX by the shaft and attack subject D-5931. Subject D-5930 began to strike at subject D-5931. SCP-XXXX reduced the length of its shaft to narrowly avoid subject D-5931 on all 12 of the tested strikes. Five of the strikes resulted in subject D-5931's uniform tearing, but with no damage to D-5931.
Results: Neither subject was harmed.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX appeared to be incapable of harming subject D-5931 with regular attacks.
Test XXXX-C
Subject: D-5930 and D-5931
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to hold SCP-XXXX by the spearhead and attack Subject D-5931. Subject D-5930 attempted to swing SCP-XXXX at Subject D-5931, but SCP-XXXX extended its shaft, causing it to collide with the floor of the testing area, causing subject Subject D-5930 to miss.
Results: Neither subject was harmed.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX was found to be capable of growing as well as shrinking.
Test XXXX-D
Subject: D-5930 and D-5931
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to hold SCP-XXXX by the spearhead again, but this time thrust in a straight line at subject D-5931. A loud metallic humming sound was heard as SCP-XXXX pierced the chest of subject D-5931. Subject D-5930 removed SCP-XXXX from subject D-5931. Shortly after, SCP-XXXX began seeping a sticky substance, confirmed to be Ash tree sap, from its shaft. This was accompanied by a pulsating metallic hum and vibrations from the head of SCP-XXXX. Subject D-5930 claimed that SCP-XXXX was "weeping."
Results: SCP-XXXX was found to be capable of harming a living creature. This also revealed the second anomalous effect of SCP-XXXX.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX Appears to be sentient in some way, appearing to "scream" during the attack by vibrating in such a way to create a metallic humming sound. After the attack, SCP-XXXX appeared to "cry" ash tree sap, while making a hum similar to a human crying.
Test XXXX-E
Subject: D-5930, the cadaver of D-5931 and one dead sheep.
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to cut the dead sheep. He did so without any issues. Subject D-5930 was then instructed to cut into the body of D-5931. Subject D-5930 did so without SCP-XXXX trying to prevent it, but SCP-XXXX began "crying" again, large amounts of sap seeping out of its shaft.
Results: SCP-XXXX can cut deceased creatures.
Analysis: This test provides further evidence that SCP-XXXX has some form of sentience. It didn't care about cutting the sheep's body but reacted to cutting D-5931's body.
Test XXXX-F
Subject: D-5930 and one watermelon.
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to hold SCP-XXXX by the shaft and attack the watermelon. The watermelon was cut cleanly in half without any change in SCP-XXXX. Subject D-5930 picked out part of the watermelon and ate it before the guards could stop him. As soon as he did this, SCP-XXXX began to hum loudly for one minute and twenty-three seconds.
Results: The watermelon was cut in half. SCP-XXXX has no issue cutting plant matter.
Analysis: While SCP-XXX was found to not react to plant matter, it did react to the subject eating the watermelon. This sound was different to the sounds of the last test and did not produce any sap. Further testing required.
Test XXXX-G
Subject: D-5930, one loaf of white bread, one tomato, one block of cheese and one block of butter.
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to make a cheese and tomato sandwich using the ingredients before him, to test if SCP-XXXX reacted to food. Subject D-5930 compiled, with no reaction from the spear until subject D-5930 ate a bit of cheese mid-way through the construction of the sandwich. After that, SCP-XXXX began to emit a humming sound again, but this time it was producing hums similar to singing. Subject D-5930 described the tune as "jolly". The singing continued until subject D-5930 finished eating the sandwich.
Results: A sandwich was created. SCP-XXXX reacted to the act of creating food.
Analysis: SCP-XXX appears to enjoy the act of creating food. This is further proof of sentience in SCP-XXXX.
Test XXXX-H
Subject: D-5930 and enough ingredients to create a fully cooked meal.
Procedure: Subject D-5930 was instructed to cook a meal using the ingredients in front of him. The test proceeded in a similar fashion to the last one, but with SCP-XXXX "singing" from the start, without witnessing subject D-5930 consuming any food. The singing stopped when subject D-5930 spat into the food and did not sing again afterwards.
Results: SCP-XXXX appeared to have learned to enjoy cooking. Subject D-5930 was terminated for not following staff instructions and creating a sub-par meal.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX seems to enjoy cooking, but also appears to respect hygiene standards.
Test XXXX-I
Subject: Young adult, Caucasian female identified D-5932 and one wooden log.
Procedure: Subject D-5932 was instructed to carve into the wooden log. SCP-XXXX began to hum, but not as loudly or as joyfully as the cooking experiments.
Results: SCP-XXXX was successfully used to carve into the log. The log now has a crude face carved into it, as well as a small scratched shape of male genitalia. Subject D-5932 was punished appropriately for this.
Analysis: SCP-XXXX enjoys being used as a tool, rather than a weapon.
During one of SCP-XXXX's scheduled kitchen days, on ██.██.████, an incident occurred in the facilities kitchen. SCP-XXXX was being handled by Dr.██████ when a small mouse ran out from behind a cupboard.
Because to the sudden movement, Dr.██████ instinctively swung SCP-XXXX at the mouse. Due to the fact SCP-XXXX was being held nearer the head, for more effective use while preparing food, SCP-XXXX could not shrink to avoid the mouse. Instead, it grew. The shaft of SCP-XXXX impacted against the corner of a kitchen counter, causing the attack to miss. During the impact, part of SCP-XXXX's shaft broke off, causing a loud "scream" from SCP-XXXX, similar to Test XXXX-D. SCP-XXXX proceeded to grow extremely fast, but without any equipment present, the exact speed was not recorded. Due to the fast growth, SCP-XXXX embedded itself in the ceiling of the kitchen, then shrunk its shaft, out of reach.
A nearby off-duty guard had to use a stepladder to retrieve SCP-XXXX. Upon attempting to do so, SCP-XXXX grew again, wedging itself between the ceiling and the floor. SCP-XXXX did not change from this state and refused to be moved, until the guard tried talking to it, explaining how he wanted to cook with it. Shortly after, SCP-XXXX retracted to its original length. This indicates SCP-XXXX can understand human speech.
SCP-XXXX appeared to be unharmed after returning to its normal length, with the broken off part of its shaft appearing to have broken at a direct 90-degree angle with no splintering, as if it was cut with a saw. The broken off part of SCP-XXXX displayed no anomalous properties so far and has been placed in SCP-XXXX's containment locker for future research.
Addendum: Originally, SCP-XXXX was to be left in its containment locker, only to be accessed for testing. Staff noted that a sticky substance, identified as SCP-XXXX's sap, leaking from the locker. SCP-XXXX was found in its "crying" state. Since then, staff have identified SCP-XXXX as being lonely. Being used twice a week was found to be sufficient for SCP-XXXX's emotional wellbeing and prevent SCP-XXXX's emotional outbursts. SCP-XXXX is now to be used in the site's kitchen for two days of each week.
NEW SCP STARTS HERE, TESTING MULTIPLE
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard livestock containment pen, but with the addition of five spare parachute packs, to be used in the event of an emergency.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Scottish Blackface sheep with an unusually fine coat compared to the rest of its breed. SCP-XXXX is generally comfortable around humans, allowing itself to be herded and handled without issues. The one exception to this is if someone is holding food around SCP-XXXX, at which point SCP-XXXX will tend to headbutt people in an attempt to get the food.
SCP-XXXX has a few anomalous properties. First of which, SCP-XXXX's mass appears to vary. SCP-XXXX has even been known to be carried into the air in strong winds. In the event of it falling from a dangerous height, SCP-XXXX will float gently to the ground, avoiding injury.
The second anomalous property of SCP-XXXX is its wool. SCP-XXXX's wool is unusually fine and long for its breed and cold to the touch. When pressure is applied to SCP-XXXX's wool, SCP-XXXX will cease all physical resistance in the area that's being touched, causing anything touching it to fall into the SCP-XXXX coat. SCP-XXXX's coat acts as a portal. Anything going through it will be transported to a seemingly random Cumulus cloud anywhere on the planet. From the cloud side of the portal, a sheep-shaped mass can be seen, composed of a thick layer of cloud that can not be seen through.
SCP-XXXX was first discovered by the foundation when a Welsh farmer by the name of Kevin Rogers was committed to ██████ hospital in Russia with major injuries, similar to those from falling from a large height. Mr. Rogers tried to convince hospital staff that he "fell through" his sheep on his farm back in Whales and plummeted from the sky, landing in a tree.
A foundation agent was sent to interview the Mr.██████ about his story for more information.
This file is a detailed log of an interview between agent ██████ who will be referred to as: [Agent: J ] and Mr. Rogers.
[AGENT J]-"Alright, Mr. Rogers. Please, could you describe to me how you got these injuries?"
[MR.ROGERS]-"Well I already told the rest of this bloody staff an I'm pissed off because none of these bastards would listen to me!"
[AGENT J]-"Please, Mr. Rogers, calm down and describe every detail you can, this will help our investigation."
[MR.ROGERS]-"Fine, fine. Well, I was makin' my morning cuppa tea, as normal, right? Was gonna have me some marmalade on toast. It was a bit of a windy morning, but otherwise pretty normal. So here I was, making my tea and eatin' my toast, fuckin' good toast I'll tell ya' what-"
[AGENT J]-"Mr. Rogers, please focus."
[MR.ROGERS]-"Righto, righto. So as I said, it was windy. That's when I heard a mighty ruckus coming from outside. My sheep were bleating and hollering up a storm. So I gotta ditch my breakfast and head out to check on them. Thing is, when I got there, I saw the darndest thing."
[AGENT J]-"And what would that be, Mr. Rogers?"
[MR.ROGERS]-"I saw my new bloody sheep floatin' off the ground, being thrown about by the wind while my other sheep ran around in a panic! I'd brought the sheep at a market the day before because it had a really nice coat. I then tied it up with the other sheep, to help it adjust. Thank fuck for that or he'd be in space by now!"
[AGENT J]-"And then what happened?"
[MR.ROGERS]-"I tried to get it down of course! I ain't leavin' my prize sheep flyin' in the air! So I tried pulling it down the rope and that worked fine, but when I dive on it to grab it by its body to stop it floatin' off again, next thing I know it's freezing cold and the wind is howling!"
[AGENT J]-"And this is when you reportedly fell out of the sky, ending up here?"
[MR.ROGERS]-"Yes sir-y! I woke up here in the hospital with half my limbs broken! How the fuck am I supposed to get back to workin' my farm?"
[AGENT J]-"Thank you Mr. Rogers. You've been very helpful."
After the interview, foundation agents inspected the farm and found a broken rope where the farmer said SCP-XXXX would be. After a wide search, no trace of the sheep was found.
One week later, the foundation obtained information that a class of school children in England saw a "flying sheep". Shortly after that, more reports of a flying sheep came in. Using the information, the foundation was able to track SCP-XXXX across the country and soon managed to track it down, though recovery proved tricky.
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]