It's A Man With a Moustache

SCP-5189

Item #: SCP-5189

Object Class: Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: Site 741 has been constructed in the area surrounding ███████, Canada in order to provide SCP-5189 with a secure area to continue pursuing their work. Said work has been deemed by the O5 Council as "of the utmost importance for the enrichment and edification of the human race" and is to be continued until "a time comes in which SCP-5189 has exhausted its assumed-infinite knowledge pool and begins producing statements regarding The Foundation, The O5 Council, or any secure foundation information. This includes, but is not limited to, information regarding its own containment, locations of SCPs and their containment, personnel details, or technological details."

Site 741 is to be equipped with at least thirty televisions, four podiums, four foundation-standard padded chairs or stools, and four microphones capable of receiving and processing an average human voice with minimal distortion. Standard Foundation television broadcast equipment is to be made available to Site 741 in order to maintain SCP-5189's public image and encourage viewing and consumption of any edification that SCP-5189 may wish to elocute. A foundation-approved television broadcast network may be employed to broadcast SCP-5189's elocutions to the general public and may vary depending on the given location of the aforementioned broadcast network's general service area.

In addition to the aforementioned furnishings, up to five rooms in the site may be equipped with standard home furnishings such as televisions, refrigerators, couches, or beds per SCP-5189's request. Should any request prove to be overly difficult or impossible to fulfil, personnel tasked with fulfilling the request will immediately report their difficulty to Site Director Regina Almasi, who will then relay this difficulty to SCP-5189.

As of ██/██/2020, any difficulty relayed to SCP-5189 has been met cordially and without incident. Subsequent replacement requests have met with the same level of congeniality and are generally able to be fulfilled within a reasonable timeframe.

Description: SCP-5189 is a spectral entity currently taking the form of a human male; standing approximately 5'8" (1.73m) tall, possessing dark brown eyes, salt-and-pepper hair, and a tenor vocal range. SCP-5189 wears tailored suits of varying color and material and is most commonly seen wearing a tie of a complementing color, although, instances of SCP-5189 wearing less formal clothing, such as t-shirts, jeans, or sweatpants have also been observed.

SCP-5189 appears to be able to speak as an average human male would, however, SCP-5189 has been observed to speak in the affirmative in approximately ██ percent of its vocalizations. When SCP-5189 does make an inquiry, it is always immediately followed by an affirmative statement. An example of this type of vocalization is transcribed below:

Welcome back to ████████. We have a truly excellent game going on today. Will our champion be able to prevail or will their opponents rise to the challenge today? We shall see in Double ████████. Let's take a look at our categories.

In addition to this type of vocalization, SCP-5189 appears to prefer to answering questions before they are asked. As of ██/██/2021, Foundation researchers are still not sure if SCP-5189 possesses a form of precognition or telepathy. While this may be the case, it does not appear to have any negative effect on any known observers. In many instances, Foundation personnel who have come into contact with SCP-5189 have reported pleasant interactions, with many reports indicating that said personnel felt as if they learned something of value upon leaving SCP-5189's presence.

An example of SCP-5189's interaction with a group of D-Class personnel is transcribed below:

D1: Okay… Let's try Canine Conundrums for $400, ████.

SCP-5189: This canine crusader cruises the streets of his hometown in hopes of protecting children from the dangers of drugs. You can contact this good boy at his address in Chicago… ████?

D1: Who is Scooby Doo?

S: I'm sorry, but that is incorrect… ██████?

D2: Who is Scruff McGruff?

S: That's the one!

Upon exiting SCP-5189's general vicinity, personnel have reported significant increases in their personal funds. This reported increase has been confirmed to be as high as $3.37 million United States Dollars and as low as one thousand United States dollars. The average "winnings" reported by any given individual interacting with SCP-5189 is approximately twenty thousand United States Dollars and appears to increase as more time is spent with SCP-5189.

Addendum 1: Interview with SCP-5189

The following is the transcription of an interview with SCP-5189 conducted by Site Director Regina Almasi. The interview was originally recorded in 2019, after SCP-5189 announced that he was diagnosed with [[REDACTED]] and with the purpose of ascertaining SCP-5189's mental state and any potential physical effects that it may experience as a result of his reported diagnosis.

Director A: Okay there, SCP-5189. It has been brought to my attention that you went on television and claimed that you were diagnosed with [[REDACTED]]. What is the way you would respond?

SCP-5189: Indeed that is correct, Regina. The fine doctors here at your facility had informed me of this troubling development about two weeks ago and I wanted to make my viewers aware of my condition and to hopefully abate any concern.

A: That was very kind of you, SCP-5189. Tell me, what is your current emotional state?

S: …and the answer is… While I do feel troubled by the diagnosis and what it means for this physical body, I know that I will live on. Death is not an end, but a beginning of something new.

A: That is a very positive way of thinking, SCP-5189. Tell me what you mean about "something new."

SCP-5189 is silent

A: Oh. I apologize. What is this 'something new' that you speak of?

S: Oh I am not afraid of dying, Regina. I have done it numerous times in my lifetime. I always return in time. The mission of edifying the people is constant and everlasting. I have taken many forms and many names in my day. This will just be another transition into a new form; a new body, if you will. I apologize if that seems too metaphysical or too spiritual.

A: It's alright, SCP-5189. It's no trouble at all. Now… you mentioned that you had taken new names and forms before. What are those names and forms?

S: …and the answer is: There have been so many, Regina. Sometimes I lose track of them, but I do remember most them. Some of my favorites have been Isis, Papa Legba, Ogma, and of course, the form I have now. I've never been able to reach so many of your kind before. It has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

At this point in the recording, Site Director Almasi becomes visibly emotional. Her voice begins to crack and tears are beginning to well in her eyes.

S: What is wrong, my friend? You appear to be crying.

A: It's nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I just remember my mother telling me the stories of what was apparently you millennia ago. I grew up in Egypt; Port Said. My mother named me after you. What is my name?

SCP-5189, adjusting his posture, reaches out to Site Director Almasi, touches her knee, and smiles warmly in her direction.

S: Regina Isis Almasi. It's a beautiful name and very fitting for someone like you. Someone who is always seeking knowledge and is a bit more clever than the average person. You honor me with your name. Thank you. Please know that, even though I will be gone, I will live on through what I've done here. ████████ will continue on. You will continue on with your work. Life will go on, but do not worry about what happens to me. I will return one day. I won't look the same, but I'll always return. The work of spreading knowledge and wisdom never ceases and as long as your kind keep growing and creating, I will always have a place by your side.

A: Thank you, SCP-5189. What is your availability for one final question?

S: I have all the time in the world.

A: When is it that you think you will return?

S: I'm not sure. Sometimes I float around in what humans sometimes call, "the ether," but I always seem to come back within one hundred years or so; not always in a human form, mind you. As you just learned, sometimes I come back as something a bit different than that, but by goal will always be the same. As long as there is knowledge to be had; edification to be done; I will be there, working to accomplish my mission.

A: One hundred years is a long time, but maybe you'll be back sooner.

SCP-5189 remains silent

A: Well… I suppose that's it then. Thank you, SCP-5189. It is always pleasant to speak with you in person. Who is getting you your latest request?

S: I believe Martha ██████████ is out getting me a couple of new ties to replace some of mine that have gotten too worn. It is very kind of you to ask. Thank you, and I'll see you tomorrow.

A: Thank you, Alex… SCP-5189. Sorry.

SCP-5189 smiles towards Site Director Almasi as she rises from her seat, giving her a curt nod.

S: Alex will do just fine, Regina. Thank you.

Approximately ███ months after this recording, SCP-5189 recorded his final episode of ████████ at Site 741. Shortly thereafter, SCP-5189 disappeared from its containment, seemingly instantaneously and without triggering any sort of alarm or alert system.

Site Director Almasi has maintained that, while she may have gotten too emotionally attached to SCP-5189, that connection helped her maintain a healthy professional relationship with SCP-5189 and ultimately led to the discovery of SCP-5189's "god-like" nature. Additionally, since SCP-5189's disappearance, Site Director Almasi has noted a significant increase in her personal and professional drive to succeed and her work ethic.

Given that no negative effects of this relationship have manifested, The O5 Council has chosen to not recommend any disciplinary action for Site Director Almasi. To the contrary, they commended her work ethic, and though her methods may have not been up to usual Foundation standards, they applauded her efforts to increase SCP-5189's accessibility to the general public.