The Best Goddamn BBQ You’ve Ever Had In Your Afterlife
Wormwood wey/wyr/wyrm/wrymself
Connor he/him
Lola she/aloe/aloeself
What a beautiful cookout! Everyone showed up, followed by an ominous crash in the distance.
Three friends sat around the fire, holding out various foods to grill on the pan. They didn’t have a ‘fancy’ barbeque, but this was just as good. These three friends all had a few things in common: They could all perceive one another, they were anything but human, and they all loved a good BBQ.
“Want anymore sosig?” said a round, jolly dark-haired man, freckled in white spots and wiggling cow ears.
“I sure do, thank-ahh-you!” replied a spindly pink creature, multiple slimy appendages twisting around a skewer to pierce into one of the sosigs. Wey took the sosig, placing it delicately on a paper plate.
The third friend, an aloe plant, sat quietly, enjoying the nice atmosphere and sun.
“You sure you don’t want anything, Lola?” The worm creature asked, motioning wyr plate at them. Lola kept sitting.
“Alright then. As much as Connor makes a mean grill, I know you’re a herbivore.”
“Aww shucks, Wormwood! You’re too kind.” Connor grinned, taking a bite of his burger. He scratched the stubble on his chin, then swatted away a fly that was annoying him.
Wormwood chuckled, spitting residue worms out at random. “No, I mean it! Good grub.”
I like a piece of grub myself, being as Greazy as I am.
Connor heard a voice echo through his head. A voice scratched like old vinyl from decades of marketing rung through the air like the stale beat of a dusty drum. Greazeburger Earth Division Representative Martin Greaze hovered into vision.
The three didn’t really know what this odd man was going to do, or why he was carrying a desk lamp. Wormwood squinted, weary to trust the stranger at first.
“If you’re here to rob us, just know I’ve let the worms feed before, and I can do it again.”
Martin chortled, waving wyrms threat off like it was a humorous joke. He darted his eyes at an empty space beside the BBQ, then rustled around in his pockets to reveal a packet of gum. He offered it to the group.
Trust me, if I wanted more stuff I wouldn’t be paying others to take my products off my hands. I just wanna join a nice, friendly cookout and put some good food in my jaw, you know? So what'd ya say, got any extra?
While Wormwood was still suspicious of him, Connor relaxed at the mention of joining the cookout. He was too trusting, Wormwood complained many-a-day, but it was a quality wey admired and slowly learnt from. With slight hesitation, wey wriggled wrymself over to make room for Martin.
Martin grinned, and placed Mr. Shade beside Lola.
wip
"Clowns deserve a healthy and happy life in a large tent with lots of toys - NOT in a cage!" - "Corruption Within The Clown Industry: A Controversial Opinion by Bambousio Starswinger"
I hope you're doing well, fellow ringmasters! I'm glad we can all come here together to talk about our various highs and lows of clown ownership and what comes with it. As a clown breeder, I may know a good deal, but I'll always still feel like a newbie on the inside, haha!
I, Bambousio Starswinger (clown breeder, seller, blogger and practising ringmaster), welcome you with open arms to the Starswinger Bigtop! In here I hope to educate novice ringmasters about all the ins-and-outs of clown husbandry. I hope you leave this tent with some new knowledge about raising and caring for different types of clowns!
So, you want to raise a clown? You've come to the right place!
Welcome to the world of clown husbandry! To the uninformed this practice may be strange, but let me preface this by saying this is just as normal as owning any other pet, like a dog or cat. Clowns are friendly and lovable creatures who like playing games and pulling funny pranks. They're sociable creatures, who need good homes to clown around in, just like any other pet you keep around the house!
In my own humble abode, Starswinger Bigtop (so what if it sounds cheesy?), I have spent years dedicating my time to being a source of education and information to those just discovering the world of clowns.
Don't worry if this all seems like too much at first, because there's plenty of information
Let's get this out of the way: Clowns are not human, never were human and will never BE human.
plot points, characters etc.
read things first. tales scp welcome all. time clowns
I promise to see you again (whether it be today, tomorrow, or in two generations, even if you're a hologram.)
Item No. SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX and the surrounding area has been purchased by the Foundation after being condemned structurally unsound by local authorities, and closed from public access. Personnel are forbidden to remain in the boundaries of SCP-XXXX for more than a maximum of 30 minutes past the anomaly’s active time period.
Discussions with SCP-XXXX-A entities are not to reveal the anomalous features of SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation given to LittlePlace Center, a shopping mall located in Riverside, California. It was built in 1958, but was closed in 1960 due to unknown reasons.
SCP-XXXX seems to be capable of travelling interdimensionally and appears as an optical illusion during these periods. Between 06/12-10/20 every year, SCP-XXXX resides in the current dimension, is physical and can be entered.
During these dates, the anomaly seems to go through a temporal repetition of events transpiring in SCP-XXXX from 1958-1960.
SCP-XXXX-A is the designation given to groups of numerous humanoids residing inside SCP-XXXX. Entities have been recorded so far as non-anomalous and human, and wearing clothes identified to have all been made before 1960.
SCP-XXXX-A entities also seem to have knowledge on the building’s closure, but are unaware of its anomalous abilities.[see addendum bitch]
hmm..now what.
- exploracíon onhonhonhon
- ill open that can of worms when i get to it.
I had to keep it a secret from everyone. From the moment I started working at the Foundation, I noticed everyone would stare at me, or wait their turn to speak whilst I spoke. This was natural, of course. I was the main character. But, it all changed when she walked in.
As I was the main character, everyone knew me. Everyone knew my pretty little thin-frame glasses and my silver (not gray, silver) hair thrown into a quick messy bun, but not messy messy you know like ahaha, a sexy sort of messy. They let me work there because I was kindof a geek, and like, REALLY good at scienc-y stuff. You know, like the biologies, the alchemies, and stuff. Beginner stuff. Because I'm smart. And I'm pretty curvy, too. I've got an absolute monster-truck, dumpling, gargantuan sized ass. But I usually wear baggy lab clothes because I'm shy.
This happened last Friday. Well, SHE happened last friday. I was just getting out of an intense love triangle between me and two other super sexy young scientists when she showed up in her… idk fucken jet black hair with teal highlights which i swear was NOT ebony black like she says it is. She was wearing a black lab coat with black lipstick and was the toootal opposite of me. I mean, I'm half angel and half vampire AND half German, there's a big contrast there! Basically SHE rolled up all high and mighty in her 'ohh look at me I just came back from snogging Slenderman' kinda look. And the boys went crazy, even my four boyfriends (It's complicated, different timelines/au's/crossovers etc.)
I prayed to the goddess herself (Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way) that it was NOT who I dreaded it to be. But I guess I was being a little preppy that day, because Ebony stuck up her middle finger at me.
The boat to New Land was rocky and almost sunken twice, as Masque kept boring holes through the damp wood. When the Masque's last body had become a pile of sludge, it was thrown overboard, and the Doctor then held onto him carefully. The two were used to travelling but were almost tipped over many times, as there was four others in the boat with them. It was cramped.
"Move over, Delaviere!" Blanche shoved in Francine's direction as she rowed the boat. Francine scowled and did the same. The young boy, Giorno, was stuck in the middle of it, swaying in every direction as he was pushed in between the two bickering women. Barnaby, a relaxed woman, was sitting at the front staring out onto the ocean.
So all-in-all, it wasn't going great.
The Doctor wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead as the sun grew brighter.
"It's hotter than Hellas out here. Why did we agree to this idiotic trip of yours?"
The Masque scoffed with what little voice he had left. "I can't feel a thing. Maybe you're just out of shape," he choked. The Doctor's grip around him grew tighter.
"I could say the same about you."
After a few more hours of directionless rowing and complaining, laughing, and jeering, the sky grew a little bit darker and the clouds went grey. The cold waves crashed against the boat, rocking it back and forth. Salt water arched up onto the boat and into the faces of the group, making their vision blurrier than it was already from the lack of light.
By now the boat was being viciously shaken from side to side, forcing the Troupe to grab onto it for dear life. Blanche's puffy hair stood on end as the static in the air encased the area in a humid and choking atmosphere, electrical sparks flashing down at random.
Then the wave came.
"Jesus Christ!" Giorno yelled.
Francine took a quick glance at him, "Don't use the Lord's name-"
It came crashing down at full force. First, they could hear the crunch, crack and splinter of the boat under the weight. Next the feeling of freezing, rushing water surrounding them, and everything going dark.
Like the beach was an echo, the only sound was the lazy waves on the shore, calmly lapping over five unconscious bodies. The sand was coarse and lumpy, and stuck to the Doctor as he shook out of his daze and got up, swaying slightly. The Troupe lay around him, and he sighed in relief and clasped his empty hands together.
Clasped his empty hands together and froze.
Masque was not in his grasp, or anywhere along the shore.
He started to sweat and pace around the beach, then reaching down to shake the others awake. Soon he remembered he forgot his gloves and that would be a bad idea, 'Obivously Doctor, we cannot harm them on the Masque's request'. So he resorted to lightly kicking them with his foot, hoping they become annoyed and get up. After awhile, it worked. Though Francine needed to be quickly revived after a dramatic choking on seawater.
"I could've died! All that salt in my delicate lungs…I could barely breath!" She said.
Blanche quickly wiped her lips where she preformed the revival in disgust.
They slowly rose and looked at their surroundings.
They were standing on a flat beach that seemed to stretch longer than any other coast they had seen. To their west (The Doctor had pulled out a compass from his strange leather bag) all that they could see was the dusty orange sand of a desert, like an earthy ocean. A lot like the ocean, there seemed to be no sign of life or civilisation.
A poster advertising 'Sweet Crashers'.
Item #: SCP-xxxx
Object Class: Safe/Euclid?
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-A is to be contained in a compact disc (CD) featuring the animated movie '
Sweet Crashers: Takedown' (known as SCP-XXXX) and stored in Storage room C. SCP-XXXX may not be put into any devices such as televisions or laptops. In the event of an infohazard, instances and appearances of SCP-XXXX-A are to be located and downloaded back onto a USB or compact disc, and devices affected must be traced and examined thoroughly. Individuals who witness SCP-XXXX-A are to be administered with Class-A amnestics.
Description: SCP-XXXX-A is a sentient version of the character '
Sasha' from the children's animated television programme '
Sweet Crashers'. Sweet Crashers is a show about three cartoon renditions of adolescent females who promote types of creativity and individuality, but was cancelled on 14/03/2009 due to complaints and a low animation budget.
The entity known as SCP-XXXX-A or 'Sasha' is able to travel between channels connected to the main device, such as a television (known as SCP-XXXX-1) and devices with a screen connected to SCP-XXXX-1. It is then known to 'leave a mark' by permanently damaging the screen of the device with brightly coloured spraypaint.
[VIRUS DETECTED] [DELETE?]
[NO]
>[YES]<
[[collapsible show="[BEGINNING DELETION: 0%…]" hide="5%…"]]
Per 
