RiseOfTheKumquat- Chad Kougar (Feed The Machine) Draft
Item#: XXXX
Level2
Containment Class:
euclid (rejected thaumiel)
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
keneq
Risk Class:
danger

Site Responsible: Site-76

Director: Dr. Oliver Crane

Head Researcher(s): Dr. James Walton Dr. Juniper Marigold

Assigned Task Force: MTF Nu-15 "The Roadies"

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a 10m by 10m cell at Site-76 in Building G with the ceiling hatch and unobstructed ramps by both doorways. A red circle surrounding the central display pedestal with a radius of exactly 3 meters is painted on the floor for the benefit of all personnel involved. Motion sensing alarms along the primary and ceiling entrances are to be activated between the hours of 10pm and 7am GMT-6, unless directed by a Senior Researcher under specific circumstances (See Containment Document XXXX-01). Testing is only permitted on Class-D Personnel with at least one Level 2 Senior Researcher present to supervise. Cross-testing between SCP-XXXX and any reality-altering SCP requires approval from the O-5 council as of 11-30-2019 (see Experiment XXXX-065, Experiment XXXX-066 and Incident Report XXXX-2). Prior to transportation of the item, the northwest sector (Rooms G20-G30) must be cleared of personnel to prevent contamination. Drones, Small Unmanned Ground Vehicles (SUGV), and remote-controlled (RC) arms will be used in all transporting, cleaning, or testing of SCP-XXXX. Any unauthorized transportation or physical contact with the item will be met with lethal force. All personnel contaminated by the item's primary effect are to undergo psychological evaluation to limit the severity of the item's secondary effect. Personnel may return to work on SCP-XXXX as early as two weeks if symptoms of the secondary effect do not emerge.

IMG_1839.JPG
LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH SCP-XXXX, from a safe distance at the original recovery site

Description:
SCP-XXXX is a stuffed animal, approximately 45 centimeters in height, intended to replicate a Mountain Lion (Puma concolor). Attached to the back of its left hind thigh is a tag, the front side displaying the animal's common/scientific name and thanking the customer for their visit to The Lorwald Zoo (located in “Lorwald, AX”). On the backside of the tag is written “Matthew 12:13" ("Then he said to the man, 'Hold out your hand.' So the man held out his hand, and it was restored, just like the other one"), “Song Of Rajmata 9:12” (Reference not yet identified), and “surface washable, polyester fibers & PE plastic pellets, made in Adonistan.” A pair of crudely drawn eyebrows appear to have been added via dry erase marker. No other anomalies have been discovered regarding the physical makeup of the item.

To date, there is no documented evidence of a human being1 able to get within 3 meters of SCP-XXXX without triggering its anomalous effect. Sentient beings capable of verbal communication that enters this item's area of effect (AOE) will immediately stop what they're doing and enthusiastically start singing lyrics from Canadian music group Nickelback2. Subjects typically disregard all self-preservation instincts and will strain or injure themselves in the act of headbanging, miming various instruments, or otherwise expressing their intense enjoyment for the song that they're performing. Subjects will continue these acts until they are removed from the AOE, lose consciousness, or expire. Once removed from the AOE, subjects will immediately regain control. Most surviving subjects are capable of recounting their experience in its entirety, but it is functionally impossible to predict how SCP-XXXX's primary effect will impact a subject's psychological state. In post-test interviews, the divide between those who described the experience as liberating and pleasant and those who describe it as claustrophobic and traumatic is nearly a perfect 50-50 split. Several subjects have developed symptoms ranging from Acute Stress Disorder to Comorbid Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after being forced to sing for a few minutes, while numerous others have come away recounting generally positive experiences in spite of traumatic injury sustained to themselves or those around them over the course of several hours. All subjects have reported hearing music, though sound isn't being produced by the item. Several cases of subliminal memetic after-effects have been reported, enough to justify categorizing this as SCP-XXXX's secondary effect. Several subjects have reported accidentally slipping Nickleback lyrics into conversations and written articles without being aware of their actions. Several former test subjects have reported writing checks to "my Midnight Queen" and leaving sticky notes across multiple daily locations to "remind me of what I really am." For the average citizen, it's an inconvenience that could be expensive, annoying, and damage relationships. For members of the Foundation, where thorough notes can make the difference between life, death, and the end of reality, this must be taken seriously. As of 06-14-2023, the longest reported example of the secondary effect in a non-anomalous human lasted 10 days. The ongoing existence of XXXX-A is a prominent example of the secondary effect's potential longevity when crossed with memetic anomalies.

High-ranking members from the Groups Of Interest Gamers Against Weed and Doctor Wondertainment have denied any involvement in the creation of this item. Identifying the location of "the Lorwald Zoo," "Lorwald, AX," or "Adonistan" has been declared a Delta-Level priority.

Recovery Report XXXX-1:
SCP-XXXX was recovered in the apartment of ████ Jefferys on June 4th, 2017. The Foundation had been called in after the disappearance of six police officers in Ft. Collins, CO, all following up on a noise complaint on the west side of town. The resident, the building's tenant, and five of the officers were found in critical condition with a sixth officer found deceased. Officer A███████ was called to the building to follow up on said noise complaint, wherein he entered Mr. Jefferys' apartment and joined Mr. Jefferys and the tenant in their rendition of "Rockstar." The other officers recounted similar stories. After several hours, Officer A███████ recalled accidentally tripping Officer S████ at which point he (Officer S████) fell over, hitting his head on the nightstand and kicking the tenant in the high ankle area. This led to a tear in the tenant's Achilles tendon, causing him to fall on top of Officer F███████, suffocating the officer to death. Other injuries included dehydration (all subjects involved), damaged vocal cords (all subjects involved), separated shoulder (Officer A███████), torn rotator cuff (Officer A███████, Officer J████), bruising (all subjects involved), broken hand (Officer G██████), broken forearm (Officer S████), concussion (Officer S████, Officer M████, Mr. Jefferys, the tenant), and a Posterior Cruciate Ligament tear (Officer M████). The victims were extracted and after almost 7 hours and ██ failed attempts, SCP-XXXX was successfully secured via remote rover before being transported to Site 76.

When questioned, Mr. Jefferys claimed that he had bought SCP-XXXX as a birthday gift for his four-year-old daughter, who he splits custody with, thinking it was a normal stuffed animal.

Drawing%201
LOO Mr. Jefferys' crude recreation of the logo, currently being held in Site Storage Locker C.

He had no recollection of where he had ordered the item but claims that the package it was delivered in featured a distinct logo: "Two Ys, one skinny and one thick, interlocking inside a circle. The two Ys were also covered in circles." He provided a crude illustration of what he remembered the logo looking like before inviting agents back into his apartment to try and find the box that the item arrived in. The box was nowhere to be found. Agents couldn't identify the website that Mr. Jeffreys had ordered from as his internet history had been cleared. Meetings with Mr. Jefferys' internet service provider have been equally fruitless.. Mr. Jefferys' story with the box contradicts several known properties of SCP-XXXX (see Experiment Logs XXXX-1, XXXX-21, and XXXX-30) It would be within the best interest of the foundation to continue monitoring Mr. Jefferys from a distance until we find another lead on the origin of SCP-XXXX.

All other subjects involved were given Class B Amnestics and a story about Officer F███████ being killed in the line of duty was fabricated.

FTM%20Album%201
FTM%20Album%202
Photographed EVERYTIME I DO above, Feed The Machine's album art, featuring a wheel that matches Mr. Jefferys' drawing.

Recovery Report XXXX-1A:
Within two weeks of the item's discovery, Nickelback released a new album, Feed The Machine. The cover album features a wheel that matches Mr. Jeffreys' description. Though the symbol predates the creation of XXXX-A, the wheel remains a prominent symbol within the GOI.