Hi, I'm the author of the SCP article The Physics Goblin which you critiqued several days ago. I was curious, in reading the draft rules, I'm not allowed to bump my article, however I've re-written the vast majority of it. The rules specifically state I should wait a period of time before making a new thread, so as I'm relatively happy with the edits I've made and am ready for more critiquing, do I have to wait out the new thread period, or does a significant change constitute a bump? Additionally, as I have made significant changes, I would appreciate it if you would take another look whenever you have time available. I appreciate the feedback you gave prior, and took it into account.

SCP-3562-1 forces Foundation to re-open school.
Item#: SCP-3526

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3562-1 is not able to be contained at this time. The containment procedures currently in effect were requested by SCP-3562-1. Following their implementation, few problems have arisen in regards to SCP-3562 (See Meeting With SCP-3562-1).

A minimum of two Foundation Security Personnel are to be stationed outside Woodward High School in Double Springs, Alabama from 07:00 to 14:15 every weekday. Any recordings to have captured evidence of SCP-3562's anomalous effects are to be logged at Site-88, with backup files stored at Site-16. The audio and video equipment of Woodward High School are to have a maintenance check on a bi-weekly basis.

SCP-3562-2 is required to attend and teach a class of at least fifteen students at Woodward High School from 07:00 to 14:15 every weekday. SCP-3562-2 is not required to do so during days where the majority of schools in Alabama are not open to students.1 SCP-3562-2 is allowed three pre-scheduled vacation days per school year.

The students taught are to be selected from the currently available pool of D-Class personnel. The students taught to are to be composed of D-Class personnel ranging in age from 16 to 18. The students are to be D-Class personnel arrested due to non-violent crimes and have shown no prior violent tendencies.

Description: SCP-3562-1 is a non-corporeal humanoid entity of below average height with dark green skin, a misshapen purple nose and long pointed ears. SCP-3562-1 has only been seen wearing a small brown loincloth around its waist. SCP-3562-1 is classified as a Level II reality altering entity.

SCP-3562-2 is physically identical to an average adult male human in his 60's. Despite this, SCP-3562-2 has been in the vicinity of numerous anomalous events. It is unknown at this time whether SCP-3562-2 possesses any anomalous abilities. SCP-3562-2's classification as an anomalous entity is currently under review.

SCP-3562-1 will frequently perform "pranks," on SCP-3562-2. These pranks include:

  • Flipping all of the desks in SCP-3562-2's classroom upside down
  • Replacing posters of the globe with posters of velociraptors, Samuel Shenton2, rubber ducky inner tube advertisements, etc.
  • Inverting the charge of all magnetic objects in the room3
  • Drawing satirical images of current world leaders on the blackboard
  • Etc.

This behavior is considered to be normal. Any changes in this behavior are to be reported to Head Researcher MacDonald. Any pranks that are new, or are of potential harm, must also be reported.

Retrieval: SCP-3562 was initially discovered due to rumors circulating about a high number of unusual pranks on a single teacher. This prompted an investigation by the Foundation, in which video evidence of SCP-3562-2's classroom confirmed the existence of SCP-3562-1. SCP-3562-2 was quickly taken in for questioning.

An interview with SCP-3562-2 quickly revealed his knowledge of SCP-3562-1. Basic containment procedures were enacted, with two Foundation personnel being assigned to watch over SCP-3562-2 until a proper housing unit could be enacted. SCP-3562-2 expressed immense distress at being unable to attend Woodward High School, but was denied the right to leave Site-88.

At 07:00, SCP-3562-2 ceased all complaints and instead sat down and stared quietly at the ground. Several seconds later, one of the two assigned personnel became noticeably agitated, making gagging noises and pounding his chest. This caused the guard to expel a standard yellow post-it note from his mouth. The note read, One warning, let him teach.

The matter was reported to Assistant Director of Security Carlos Gonzales, who ordered an increase in security personnel assigned to SCP-3562-2. Additionally, interrogation measures were authorized. While these orders were being carried out, Agent Gonzales received a phone call from his personal telephone. It would later be reported that Agent Gonzales received a call from his wife, who simply said "You better let him go," before hanging up.

Following this, SCP-3562-2 was escorted to Woodward High School for the duration of the school day. Sierra Gonzales would later claim no memory of the call. She did note that her memory of the time during the call was "hazy." These events led to the institution of the current special containment procedures for SCP-3562. SCP-3562-2 has been entirely cooperative with the Foundation since this incident.